June 17, 2024 • 46 mins
This is an interview with Carl Scot, my mentor, who is helping parents with strategies to support their teens facing behavior challenges. This session is a MUST for any parent seeking ways to guide their teen or young adult toward success. My website www.drjohnoda.com
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-doctor-s-corner-with-dr-john-oda--5470834/support.
Dr. John Oda has spent 38 years helping teens and parents strengthen communication, overcome struggles, and build thriving families. Download a free 23-minute deep dive from his book *Connecting with Your Teen: Send an email to info@drjohnoda.com for your download.
Articles, Books, and Podcasts
https://drjohnoda.com/pr-media
Bonding the Family Together
:https://family.pnbcgroup.com/
If your teen is playing sports and wants that extra edge
https://sports.pnbcgroup.com
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-doctor-s-corner-with-dr-john-oda--5470834/support.
Dr. John Oda has spent 38 years helping teens and parents strengthen communication, overcome struggles, and build thriving families. Download a free 23-minute deep dive from his book *Connecting with Your Teen: Send an email to info@drjohnoda.com for your download.
Articles, Books, and Podcasts
https://drjohnoda.com/pr-media
Bonding the Family Together
:https://family.pnbcgroup.com/
If your teen is playing sports and wants that extra edge
https://sports.pnbcgroup.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:02):
Hello, everybody. My name isdoctor John Oti. I'm the founder of
the PNBC Group, which is aperson of the development, business and mental
health. And guys, I havea privileged honor of having my dear friend,
my mentor, who have taught meliterally everything about business for the last
ten thousand years. Welcome Cross,Scott, Carl, How are you doing?
(00:24):
Hey? How you doing? Ilove Carl? How you doing,
buddy? You know, before weget inside your greatness and the number one
of the reasons why I wanted todo this program because I know that teens
out of school and I consider teagebetween the ages of eleven to twenty five.
(00:44):
So you got from middle school,high school, grade school, college,
so over nine yards, right,and the council are you gonna do
in the summertime? So a lotof times parents, you know, they
send them to sports stuff. It'sbeen crazy amount of money for sports they
do. Summer school don't work onthe mindset, It don't work on the
behavior charge that we see. Somy question that I have is for you.
(01:06):
I know you have a case studythat because you right, yes,
what was some of your craziest casestudies of that you've seen in the last
month. Well, let me tellyou, well, one of the things
that it is pretty common in termsof and this is for this to be
(01:27):
common is what's amazing. But thisis common that I had a case,
and I have many of these cases, but one particular case I had where
the mother and father brought their fifteenyear old daughter to the emergency room for
(01:53):
psychiatric evaluation because they presented that theytook the child's phone away. They took
their cell phone away, and asa result of taking the cell phone away,
the child reported to them that theywere suicidal. So so so when
(02:21):
they got to the emergency room andI started the assessment, I asked,
I asked the parents, you know, why did you take the phone away?
What was what led up to that? And they said the child was
using the phone at night, doingnude pictures, sending them to classmates,
(02:46):
but also sending them to anybody whocould get on that site. Anybody could
see it, me and anybody.So they were of course concerned, and
they understood the fact that if welet this go on, this kid could
(03:07):
be in danger. So yes,they took the phone. Oldsmates and older
guys on the internet. Yeah,an older guy saying that they were teens,
you know, But this happens allthe time. So so now I
(03:30):
asked a child about what was goingon, and the child said, all
of my friends are doing this.This is something that we do. This
is not anything that unusual. Idon't let anybody into my site. They
(03:53):
think I got a private site thatonly certain people can get in, and
blah blah blh. While and theparents are overreacting, I said, well,
then why are you talking about beingsuicidal. Well, that's the only
way I can get them to react. That's the only way I can get
(04:13):
them to, uh, come backto me and and possibly give you my
phone back. So this is thetypical kind of thing that we see.
Now we have to hospitalize her becauseshe made that statement. Or sometimes they
(04:36):
cut their wrists, or sometimes theyyou know, do something I'm going to
walk out into traffic or all thesekinds of things they say, and sometimes
they do some of those things.They attempt them. So when they do,
(04:59):
when they go to the hospital,you know, back in the day
when you're doing it, these kidswould be in the hospital for two weeks
to six weeks, be residentially,be there for a long period of time.
Right now, three to five days. That's it. They're in the
hospital three to five days just forthe acute issue to be subsided and they
(05:26):
are now more stable, and thatwork has to be done outside of that
realm of the mpatient unit. Theyhave to be done outside of that because
that's only three to five days.So then after they get off for three
to five days, what is thereanother do oiction private for therapists and everything
(05:47):
else. Is that? Now?What what generally happens is they go back
home, the parents are a littlemore strict about the phone, and it
goes pretty good for about four orfive months, and then they're back because
(06:12):
they haven't changed anything. So ifyou didn't change anything, then nothing different
is going to happen. So ofcourse they walk in on the child in
the middle of the night and she'scompletely nude showing pictures to her classmates.
(06:38):
So what did they do? Theydo the same thing, take the phone,
she does the same thing. I'msuicidal. You guys are just overreacting,
and here we go with that samecycle. So solution, I mean,
(07:02):
So there's some people about Karl Kroldbeen my mentor. I've been in
for thirty seven years and the stuffwe faced almost on a daily basis,
right, And Karl has been goingfor this for about the last one hundred
years. You know, if I'vebeen only forty, he had to be
doing at least for one hundred years, right at least you know you know
(07:23):
so but but but load So it'slike the parents are done the same thing.
So it's Cody's sanity. So they'redoing the same thing over and over
again expecting a different result and theresults of if they get the exact same
thing that they came up with everythree to four minds said they're doing she's
doing a great job or the parentshaven't caught her yet because they're not putting
(07:46):
down what I consider what I sayis a little system at home. You
would as you and if I say, I think you mentioned the five piece.
So, but they're not doing certainstrategies and techniques to actually make sure
that you know they're childs be safe. And you have thoughts and say that
you're suicidal with have to take thatserious. It's like we have but I
(08:09):
know, as I know as aparent to hear that a lot to kill
myself. And they said, butbut so now parents are want to just
send them to uh send them tothe hospitals or the nearby hospitals all the
time. What would be your solution? Well, first of all, let
me just interact and interact the factthat the parents are filled with stress because
(08:39):
the jobs, because of because whomeissues, family there's they're full of stress.
They have a lot of stress.So it's not like they're bad parents,
it's just that there they have adifficult time taking this the issues that
(09:01):
they're dealing with and making time todeal with parenting issues. So what I
always recommend to parents is that youhave to start this process. Social media
is not going away. This wholeidea of people texting and skyping and whatever
(09:26):
else they call it, that's notgoing to go away. So we can
talk about it as if we wantedto change, but it's not going to
So we have to deal within thatframework. How do we do that?
First, you start with early issuesabout how you're going to deal with social
(09:48):
media. What are you going todo? Well? I think you set
the child down well before you givethem a phone and talk about what are
the criteria one for having a phone, and two what things you can and
cannot do? And three the parenthas to have the ability to monitor the
(10:16):
phone whenever they want to, aslong as that child lives in that house,
as long as that child is youris under your roof, and and
all of those things, they haveto abide by those rules. Now,
(10:37):
is that going to stop this process? Not as much, but guess what
it'll do. The child understands thereis a criteria. The child understands that
there is rules and regulations, andthen you have to sit down and talk
(10:58):
about whether the consequences if you dodon't break those rules, and there has
to be something that is reasonable.Now, sometimes taking the phone at night,
(11:18):
saying you know, the child can'thave the phone after twelve o'clock or
after ten o'clock or after nine o'clockor whatever it is. Eventually, if
they're gonna do dirt, they're gonnado it before that time. So but
you can monitor it because that's thecriteria. I get to monitor that phone
(11:43):
whenever I want to, or elseyou can't have the phone. So now
let me gonna they're gonna be screamingand hollering. And but so I like
everything. I bet you said itbecause I would do it the exact same
way. But here's what we havethat. I face a lot when I
do with my life. But youare parents and teams, right, I
(12:05):
face parents who wants to be theirfriend, yes, and being your friend.
They can't take that phone away,they can't monitor that phone because they
want to be their kid buddies,right, they want to be the buddies
part of it. And then thecharging part about is that if you're being
their buddy and being their friends,I know how when I do my friends.
(12:26):
Right now, you're not going toteach you how to be an adult?
Will They focus on the fact beingfriendly, being friends. But of
course, by the end of theday, because Carol, you have eight
children, right, you are neverthe friends. You are a parent and
(12:48):
you're friendly of them. That's whyyou have eight just for kids. Right,
here's what you do. I wantyou to focus on the friends you're
friendly and the parents and and Iwant you to also talk about your background,
what you do, the holding downyards so people can understand that in
this world, in this field,you are the goat. You are the
greatest of all time. And mentalhealth, so get you please express well
(13:11):
you know, thank you, John. That's a big bunch. But yes,
I I got into this business along time ago by accident. Basically
because I was always the guy asa child and as a young person,
the person that everybody came to toget advice or to get to talk to.
(13:33):
I was the guy you could talkto. So it just came natural
to me for this to be thatway. So I got into drug treatment
initially because my brother was the managerand he said, hey, come come
work over here, and so immediatelyI could relate, they could relate to
(13:58):
me, and I did so.Then I got into mental health and I
got and I didn't have a degree, and so I was still in a
management role, but I couldn't moveup. So I went back to school,
got my bachelor's and then I couldn'tmove up. Now I got my
master's and master's degree, and soI've been CEO for many years at different
(14:24):
different places. But my love ishelping people work out issues. That's what
I'm gifted to do. Now,this is a gift I've been given by
God that it's just a natural thingthat I can do. That people come
(14:46):
to me with a problem, Ihelped them solve it, and so as
a result of that, that's howI like to work with families and I
like to work with children because wehave to start early. You know,
you got an eighteen year old that'shad a phone since they were twelve.
(15:09):
You got a problem, You gota problem, you got a hard you
got some hard things to deal with. But if you start early with here's
how we do it, here's whatwe do, and you're consistent, you're
fair, and your firm. Thosethree things are what parents lack. Being
(15:37):
fair, being firm, being consistent. Because, like you said, John,
if I would be a friend,well, so mom put you on
punishment for two weeks. Hey,you know what weeks long enough? Come
on, let's go. You couldgo out now. No, you've just
(16:00):
ruined that child. And let metell you this. Children love discipline.
Now that might sound crazy, thatmight sound crazy to you, but they
love discipline. They want discipline.They want structure because they have no clue
(16:23):
what they're doing. And when youset up structure for them, guess what
that equates to. I love youwhen you let me do whatever I want
to do as a child. Youdon't care about me. I'm not protected.
I don't know what's going to happento me, So I keep up
(16:47):
in the anne to make you finallysay oh, maybe I better do something.
See that's the part that we don'tget about children. But if you're
fair, you're firm, and you'reconsistent, are they gonna like you?
(17:07):
Not for a while they're not.That's okay because you're building character, you're
building strength, you're building all thestrategies they're gonna need to live this life
successfully. My eight kids, now, John, you know I'm not gonna
start talking about them because you knowthis will take up our whole hour.
(17:32):
But they're all successful. They allare degreed, and half of them have
advanced degrees and so and it's becausemy wife and I did the work and
I went to school full time.My wife went to school full time.
(17:56):
We both raised eight children. Sodon't tell me it can be done.
But is it work? Though?It is, But let me inject you
once alone and three is going tobe fair, firm, I'm consistent,
and all your kids knew that whatyou said, I mean, come to
(18:19):
a family of ten, right,same thing. My dad and face was
fair, very firm, and veryconsistent. You know, if I was
unpunishing him for a month, wellI normally got my butt beat. But
anyway, if I was on thatpunishment for that, I got a double
waggon. Right. But back inthe day, you know you could spank
a kid. Today, different rules. But we're not gonna go on nothing.
(18:41):
That's a whole different it's subject.But what I see a lot is
in when I work with parents.The I worked with this one specific case.
The the mom was scared to havea life coach because because the daughter
might get angry with her. Yes, I said, how would your daughter?
(19:03):
She's fourteen and she rules? Isays, So in a household,
I see is going three different ways. You're either the leader, which it
shouldn't be. You are the friend, which is a challenge, or you're
the joker. Now that the kidleads the household, there's a lot of
(19:25):
them. Do the kid is theleader? The parent either go from the
friend or to the joker. Here'sa sad thing a button. And I
can talk about this as well,when you become when the kid become the
leader, when she's going the liketypic tantrum and you have to walk around
egg shells around her, Carol,how hard is to be the leader of
(19:47):
the household. It's impossible. Sohere's the thing. And again, parents
aren't stupid. Parents aren't anything.You know, they're good people. That's
not the problem. The problem isbeyond them, their parents, their parents'
(20:10):
parents. This thing goes back togenerations of how people parent kids. So
they're just doing what their parents did. I was lucky my parents. We
had five, six boys, sixbrothers. We were wild and crazy.
(20:36):
My parents were fair, firm andconsistent. There was views on punishment for
two weeks. Believe me, therewould not be thirteen days. It would
not be twelve and a half days. It would be exactly. And then
guess what we did. At theend of the fourteenth day, we had
(21:00):
a meeting to talk about what haveyou learned? If you didn't report what
you learned, guess what you mightgo on for another week because you didn't
learn nothing. Well, you needanother week to learn something. So it
taught us. You know, yes, you're gonna have some problems you need
(21:23):
to have, You're gonna do dumbstuff, but you got to understand you
gotta learn from it because the nexttime you can't do that again, because
then you're gonna be on punishment fora month, or in my day,
your butt will be red and juicy. So but Uh. But that's that's
(21:47):
a whole different life. But butI'm telling you parents to day, I
tell my children who have children,this is the hardest parenting I'm ever ever.
This is so difficult because social media, because social media and okay,
(22:11):
like, for instance, did youknow how much money your parents made?
Did you John? Not? Really? No? Did you know what all
the bills? Did you know what? What you know? He went to
(22:33):
work, she went to work.You knew the title of the jobs.
But your your your knowledge was thisbig? Just this my family, my
friends, my cousins. That's allI know. Now I can know anything
(22:56):
that I want to know by touchinga button. That's all I gotta do.
I touch a button, I speakto uh. What's what's uh?
What's the woman's name? That uhthat you that you ask questions to serious
(23:21):
Siri? You just asked Siri orGoogle, Google, and you can get
the information. So here, here'swhat it's like to me. You take
a five year old and you havehim watch mom cook breakfast every day for
(23:45):
six months, and then you tellthe five year old get on a chair
whatever and cook breakfast. Now he'swatched you very close. Could he do
it? No? Oh, no, and that's the issue today. They
(24:12):
had all this information, don't knowwhat to do with it because they don't
have the experience to discern between thisand that and how to maneuver through through
it. It's not their fault theycan't do it. But how do you
(24:32):
expect the child not to press thatbutton? It's right there in his head?
Well, they got more buttons onthat. Crazy for I had one
who who uh? When I checkedthe phone because the parents never checked the
phone, and we saw, likehow you can check to see where they
(24:53):
went. The kid was on pornhuk. Yes, of course, the
that was their daily thing. AndI'm looking at him like, he didn't
know you didn't block this. Ididn't know that I should I didn't know
that. I didn't know that hewas looking at that and I'm looking at
it, and I asked the kidus, how long you been doing He's
like seven, gaen know this sinceI was thirteen years old? Yes,
(25:15):
right, And that's his world ofhow relationships should be. And see,
guess on what he saw? That'sright, and guess what and that's exactly
And they don't help. And thenwhat they don't know is that's just entertainment,
(25:37):
that's what it is. But theirbrain, this is how it's supposed
to be. This is all you'resupposed to do things. And I'm like
looking at him, like and thenwe and then why do you think all
the rappers are calling the women thisand calling their women that and saying what
they're gonna do to them and allthat because social media says that's okay,
(25:59):
that's all right. Now we cantalk about that. But that's not gotta
change. None of that's going tochange. But how do I get my
child educated on these things? Well? I did it, my wife and
I did it, so I knowit could be done. It's work,
(26:22):
it's it's it's a lot of work. Now, most of my kids grew
into the era of social media.Now my last five probably were social media
right into it. The first threenot so much. But now they learned
(26:48):
a lot and now they teach thechildren the same things. They made sure
that children understand that. And andand they do the work. Work,
they do the work. They allhave degrees. So they went to school.
Ron So let me inject. Whatdo they do for a living?
(27:11):
Right, I go, I haveuh, school administrators, I have entrepreneurs,
I have nurses. Uh, andthey're all doing something fantastic. And
(27:32):
because they knew. In my householdand my my wife and my household,
there was there was rules. Onerule you had to go to school.
The other rule you had to goto college. You could get married.
(27:52):
I don't care when you got married, because that was the rule. You
need to get married if you're ifyou're going to have this or that the
other, you need to get married. So that's okay, but you must
have at least a bachelor's degree.You must. There was no other way
(28:14):
around that. And I only hadone child that tested me and and again,
if you get if you spare mea few more minutes, that the
game was. She didn't want togo to college. I don't want to
go to college. I said,okay, what are you gonna do?
(28:37):
Beat a child because you don't wantto go to college? No, what
good is that gonna do? Somy wife and I decided to strategize about
this. We talked about it.We set a plan and we said,
okay, as a united front,Okay, don't want to those school,
(29:00):
all right? Then you have togo to work and you have to pay
rent and blah blah blah, okay. So she said, that's okay,
Yeah, I do it. Soso she went and every paycheck she cave
home, we made it. Sothe paycheck that she had to pay us
(29:21):
was just slightly more to make heruncomfortable. So but when she gave us
the money, we spent it likewe had won the lottery. We just
went out and blew it all onshoes and on whatever, and we put
(29:42):
it and we would put whatever weblew it on. We put it on
the dining room table and just letit sit there. And so and so
do you know how long that lasted? One semester. She right now now
it's gonna be going for her pHD resolutions. That's the story I love
(30:08):
to tell. She's now gonna besetting for a pH D. So you
gotta you gotta do it outside ofthe box. You gotta plan you and
your wife or you gotta sit downand figure this stuff out. You can't
do it on the fly because youknow, poor planning prevent right. So
(30:37):
everything that you said, I agreewith you, you know, and you
treading me. I appreciate it,because that's all right. Ran Hospitals Residentials.
We worked with the first residential backin Indiana and Chicago. Together,
we worked with kids that was fromthe Nnocity, from Chicago, from the
Community Green, from DC Fast.We have worked with Lily every aspect of
(31:00):
and to me, when I workedwith adolescents, there's nothing because Carol,
what you bought us about thirty yearsago, there was nothing that can that
can compete with anything that I've everseen my whole entire life. The cases
that you brought us made us growup into being effective therapist because yes,
(31:22):
these had a completely different rule,different mindset, different They're from the same
area forty five minutes away, buta completely different culture. Yes. The
cool thing about that is, man, we turned these kids and I love
my boy, doctor Hank parents aroundbecause we got them tools. That's right,
(31:47):
here's the reason why. Because childrenlove discipline, they love structure.
It equates that you care about me, and if you care about me,
I can go on and thrive andbe successful. And that's what you did.
(32:07):
You did that and these are theseare kids that sat by and watched
uh their buddies sitting next to himget shot in the head with a die
of a drug overdose, and livingin poverty where there was no running water,
and all of that. They camethere, they were so happy to
(32:31):
be there because there were so manygames in that place, but one game.
Anytime they had those games, Man, we'll do that wrong. I
understand the gang world crazily, butthat's a different one. But we only
had one. And the reason whywe're bringing this up, guys, and
(32:52):
we know you guys listen to thoseguys are phenomenal parents. And if you
guys are our fathers, I wantto say, is is earlier had dance
Day? Carl? Happy dad?Yeah? Use coming up summer and here
goes. As men, we don'tget the much praise as women do.
Women get it for for they getit a month prior and they get all
these create gifts. And when weget a Carrider said, oh forgot Happy
(33:14):
Dace Day. But I'll give youa look. What we did was we
combined myself and Carl. We gotdoctor Gordon, we got doctor Conway.
Together, we had almost two hundredyears experience working inside this beautiful field that
we have, but we we prettymuch call it life coature and we created
(33:35):
a and we're I created a programback thirty years ago that I've been using
and I wrote to this phenomenal book. Guys, is cod see it look
as cod that goes is God connectingwith your team as this car about eighteen
(34:00):
yars ago. Yeah, So theprogram is based on the book and of
course the best on anybody experience.And there's the body we want to create.
We want to give a program forparents and teams because we're found summons
come up. Guys, these parents, your kids have gaps. But here's
here's what I've Here's what I foundout. I've talked to a lot of
(34:22):
people at my gym. You know, they go to they want to go
to these therapists and know X,Y and Z. But one I told
them, you only get five appointments. Then you have to read it for
the next five. But five appointmentsif I have some of these issues like
Lacard was mentioning about their phones andsitting off sex pictures and everything else,
five sessions is not gonna do anythingfor him, right, So we can
(34:43):
collaboration with a program. We havetwo of them. One is not need
programs to sprint programs. Sprint programsto me between a training program and the
development I want you to break thatdown to them. Please, what's that
not. Oh the difference between thetraining. Yes, So if you do
(35:08):
a training program, now just thinkabout this. You do a training program,
you're talking to people who already knowthis stuff, but you're training them
to be better. You're training themto look at it in a different way,
those kind of things. But ifyou're gonna develop someone, you're gonna
(35:32):
go and try to develop a program. What are you doing. You're taking
people who don't know these things andhaving them learn those things, and that's
how you do it. So youcan't develop someone who's already known, who
(35:53):
already knows it. You that's atraining How many times you go to a
seminar and they have this training programand everybody in there has no clue about
what you're talking about because they don'tknow they need to be developed. So
(36:14):
we we we separate those two thingsand we make them distinctively different so you
get what you need. If youneed training, then you need to show
that you already know some of thesethings already and we could help you get
better with those things. If youneed to be developed, we can do
(36:37):
that too. We could help yougrow into that that you want to grow
into. So those are the twodifferent things and I think one of the
biggest differences we thank you for thebiggest difference is that in the training program,
we have a what will cause asprint program sprints for ninety days to
(36:59):
get you. We need to beat because if you have the skill sets,
a development program is to develop you. Has become having your teams become
leaders, know you know, youknow, have them, have goals and
workshops and seminars. When I wasa little feature back in the day,
some of my is my kids backtwenty ten years ago said that the stuff
(37:20):
you taught me the same stuff thatthey went for twenty elevenies as well.
So I'm just want to do theaccent the exact same process. But the
difference between our programs are because Ilearned that working with crawl Back and Indiana,
we looked at the parents and theteams because he has a problem.
You get Johnny doing great, youunderstand what's going on, and Johnny goes
(37:44):
back in that taxic relationship. Well, the parents have not had no enhanced
skill set. Our program is differencebecause we do a lot of seminars,
we do a lot of workshops,we do live programs to do online.
We do a little bit whatever ittakes to get your child developed, or
if you already had the skill sets, you just need The trending part of
(38:06):
it, treading pers fright. Thetrending parts to me is more of people
are going from like a senior togo into college because college is from a
bid. High school to college isgoing pletely different. Or they're in college.
Are they in college and they needsome more so they just need enhancement
to actually go to that next levelbecause parents have to understand you can send
(38:27):
your kid to the best college possible. They don't got this up and here
the goals working on some issues.If they have depression or anger going on,
how to deal with that stuff inthe workforce. It's going to be
a challenge. About a month ago, I gave a speech at UCI.
I have to tell you these kidswere genius scholar program. All of them
(38:53):
was amazing, talked about leadership,talked about reported to talk about little smart
stuff that I would go inside thisprogram with right and and afterwards. The
shocking part is that a lot ofthem they didn't under only talked the basic
carl. They didn't get it,man, and a lot of them was
crying because they got so much pressurefrom different countries or from parents. Right
(39:19):
now they've got U c I Use I is like another day, back
up, back home. Part ofthe that part of the Barkley you know,
is that part of the Berkeley program. Right, so there is intense.
But when you get pressure on allthat stuff, you don't take care
of yourself. You got issues likedepressure and you're taking medication or whatever it
(39:40):
takes place. You don't have noone to actually talk to. It's gonna
be a challenge. So what wedecided. We decided to come together,
which I love work from Karl Alove work from Dr Horden. Dr Horden,
he's especially when it comes to substance. Excuse all that stuff. He's
completely legit a genius. Uh,Doctor Conway amazing sixty books. Most of
(40:07):
his books come on personality and everythingelse. I mean, these guys are
amazing, right, I made amazing. It's like I get to work with
my mentors. What's his program andand every day by it? Right?
(40:28):
Okay, all right, this makessense? Well he Heegl's parents. If
you guys want to go further faster, DM me to figure out it will
explaining what's going on. We dodo live programs in every in four different
areas. Of course, we willdo one in the Irvine As, California
area. We do one where Carlsat probably Indiana slash Chicago area. We
(40:51):
have one in Florida, and wehave one in Texas. Right but we
also do do live programs. Theprogram is beautiful, it really is.
I would love to expense you guysmore about it. Well, my biggest
thing about it is how because Karland I we are what we consider an
ultimate growth one mental health and clinical, we can work with businesses, but
(41:21):
myself on the business side, wehave to close the gaps right now.
The other thing about that's right,and we and during the summer, you
have to create a summer structure anda summer absolute routine, just like you
(41:42):
had in the school time. There'sa routine. You get up at a
certain time, eat breakfast, youblah blah blah, whatever you do,
you get to school, you comehome, you do homework, blah blah
blah. It's it's a routine andit's a structure. Well, you have
to create that structure in the summernow, and it has to be fun
and it has to be different thanschool, but it has to be structured
(42:06):
and it has to be a routine. Still, they can't just go willing
nearly. It doesn't have to beso tight because you got to be at
school at a certain time. Well, you don't have to be. Time
can vary a little bit, butthere has to be some structure. There
has to be some routine that theyknow about last day of school. All
(42:31):
right, now we're on summer's timestructure and routine. Hey, that's what
they do, oh September. Weare the school structure routine. We know,
you know it. So you haveto build that for the summer.
And that's what we can help youdo. We can help you do it
(42:51):
exactly. It's a structure at all. And also what we also do is
a little system as well, becauseit has to be structured. Because when
you keep your instructured, everything worksout well. But if they know that,
if they have a little system,they know if they do X,
y and z, things are beingtaken away. But it's consistent, as
Carl said, is firm, fairand consistent, life becomes easy. That's
(43:15):
right. No listening to you,man, But you says a great leader
can follow. I'm a phenomenal leader. You're gonna say something, no,
no, no, I didn't knowwhat. I don't have anything else.
(43:37):
So anyway, guys, I justwant to say thank you guys so much.
If you guys want to go furtherfaster, I'll send me a d
M. Send me something right now. And we're streaming this on our LinkedIn
the streaming this on YouTube. I'malso streaming this on Facebook. You guys
need to go further faster, pleaselet me know. And I would love
to come up with a strategy.A program that we have is completely off
the hook. But as Carl mentioned, which is really a strong one,
(44:00):
you gotta have structure right now.You know, the kids might go to
summer school for three or four hours, but what are they doing after that?
And now mom and dad's working becauseof death, it makes some money
coming home, and you've got tomake those two structures different. They got
(44:20):
it one. It's got to becompletely with fun, something they can look
forward to and then they know.And it's the difference between work and play.
You can't work all the time andyou can't play all the time.
You got to understand that life isfull of both. So you got to
(44:42):
do work, go to school,but summertime it's time to play and it's
time to have relaxation. But ithas to be structured and it has to
be a routine, and we canhelp you do that, and believe me,
your kids will love you for itand the wonderful thing. And as
a parent, it would give youenhncement skills set to understand what Johnny or
(45:07):
your kids are doing, so you'regonna be ten steps ahead of them because
you're not ten steps ahead of them. These kids are smart, not ten
steps ahead of them. It's gonnabe a hard time. And then doesna
be build time? You know,we have to do work stuff and then
come back home and deal with Johnnyor Sue actually what's actually taking place.
So that's why we do both.And now we prepare parents to see what's
(45:31):
gonna take place so they can havestructures and systems in place when that actually
happens. All right, Carols,I'm not gonna hold you along. Man,
appreciate your and I appreciate everybody tolisten to the happy Oh yeah,
I can't wait. We having aFather's Day golf tournament tomorrow Sunday, and
(45:57):
uh me and my son and hisson. Uh, I'm gonna be on
the team and we hope to winbring home the trophy. So that's that's
my day for Sunday. All right. I know that you love your golf.
Yes, indeed, all right man, take care. M
Hello, everybody. My name isdoctor John Oti. I'm the founder of
the PNBC Group, which is aperson of the development, business and mental
health. And guys, I havea privileged honor of having my dear friend,
my mentor, who have taught meliterally everything about business for the last
ten thousand years. Welcome Cross,Scott, Carl, How are you doing?
(00:24):
Hey? How you doing? Ilove Carl? How you doing,
buddy? You know, before weget inside your greatness and the number one
of the reasons why I wanted todo this program because I know that teens
out of school and I consider teagebetween the ages of eleven to twenty five.
(00:44):
So you got from middle school,high school, grade school, college,
so over nine yards, right,and the council are you gonna do
in the summertime? So a lotof times parents, you know, they
send them to sports stuff. It'sbeen crazy amount of money for sports they
do. Summer school don't work onthe mindset, It don't work on the
behavior charge that we see. Somy question that I have is for you.
(01:06):
I know you have a case studythat because you right, yes,
what was some of your craziest casestudies of that you've seen in the last
month. Well, let me tellyou, well, one of the things
that it is pretty common in termsof and this is for this to be
(01:27):
common is what's amazing. But thisis common that I had a case,
and I have many of these cases, but one particular case I had where
the mother and father brought their fifteenyear old daughter to the emergency room for
(01:53):
psychiatric evaluation because they presented that theytook the child's phone away. They took
their cell phone away, and asa result of taking the cell phone away,
the child reported to them that theywere suicidal. So so so when
(02:21):
they got to the emergency room andI started the assessment, I asked,
I asked the parents, you know, why did you take the phone away?
What was what led up to that? And they said the child was
using the phone at night, doingnude pictures, sending them to classmates,
(02:46):
but also sending them to anybody whocould get on that site. Anybody could
see it, me and anybody.So they were of course concerned, and
they understood the fact that if welet this go on, this kid could
(03:07):
be in danger. So yes,they took the phone. Oldsmates and older
guys on the internet. Yeah,an older guy saying that they were teens,
you know, But this happens allthe time. So so now I
(03:30):
asked a child about what was goingon, and the child said, all
of my friends are doing this.This is something that we do. This
is not anything that unusual. Idon't let anybody into my site. They
(03:53):
think I got a private site thatonly certain people can get in, and
blah blah blh. While and theparents are overreacting, I said, well,
then why are you talking about beingsuicidal. Well, that's the only
way I can get them to react. That's the only way I can get
(04:13):
them to, uh, come backto me and and possibly give you my
phone back. So this is thetypical kind of thing that we see.
Now we have to hospitalize her becauseshe made that statement. Or sometimes they
(04:36):
cut their wrists, or sometimes theyyou know, do something I'm going to
walk out into traffic or all thesekinds of things they say, and sometimes
they do some of those things.They attempt them. So when they do,
(04:59):
when they go to the hospital,you know, back in the day
when you're doing it, these kidswould be in the hospital for two weeks
to six weeks, be residentially,be there for a long period of time.
Right now, three to five days. That's it. They're in the
hospital three to five days just forthe acute issue to be subsided and they
(05:26):
are now more stable, and thatwork has to be done outside of that
realm of the mpatient unit. Theyhave to be done outside of that because
that's only three to five days.So then after they get off for three
to five days, what is thereanother do oiction private for therapists and everything
(05:47):
else. Is that? Now?What what generally happens is they go back
home, the parents are a littlemore strict about the phone, and it
goes pretty good for about four orfive months, and then they're back because
(06:12):
they haven't changed anything. So ifyou didn't change anything, then nothing different
is going to happen. So ofcourse they walk in on the child in
the middle of the night and she'scompletely nude showing pictures to her classmates.
(06:38):
So what did they do? Theydo the same thing, take the phone,
she does the same thing. I'msuicidal. You guys are just overreacting,
and here we go with that samecycle. So solution, I mean,
(07:02):
So there's some people about Karl Kroldbeen my mentor. I've been in
for thirty seven years and the stuffwe faced almost on a daily basis,
right, And Karl has been goingfor this for about the last one hundred
years. You know, if I'vebeen only forty, he had to be
doing at least for one hundred years, right at least you know you know
(07:23):
so but but but load So it'slike the parents are done the same thing.
So it's Cody's sanity. So they'redoing the same thing over and over
again expecting a different result and theresults of if they get the exact same
thing that they came up with everythree to four minds said they're doing she's
doing a great job or the parentshaven't caught her yet because they're not putting
(07:46):
down what I consider what I sayis a little system at home. You
would as you and if I say, I think you mentioned the five piece.
So, but they're not doing certainstrategies and techniques to actually make sure
that you know they're childs be safe. And you have thoughts and say that
you're suicidal with have to take thatserious. It's like we have but I
(08:09):
know, as I know as aparent to hear that a lot to kill
myself. And they said, butbut so now parents are want to just
send them to uh send them tothe hospitals or the nearby hospitals all the
time. What would be your solution? Well, first of all, let
me just interact and interact the factthat the parents are filled with stress because
(08:39):
the jobs, because of because whomeissues, family there's they're full of stress.
They have a lot of stress.So it's not like they're bad parents,
it's just that there they have adifficult time taking this the issues that
(09:01):
they're dealing with and making time todeal with parenting issues. So what I
always recommend to parents is that youhave to start this process. Social media
is not going away. This wholeidea of people texting and skyping and whatever
(09:26):
else they call it, that's notgoing to go away. So we can
talk about it as if we wantedto change, but it's not going to
So we have to deal within thatframework. How do we do that?
First, you start with early issuesabout how you're going to deal with social
(09:48):
media. What are you going todo? Well? I think you set
the child down well before you givethem a phone and talk about what are
the criteria one for having a phone, and two what things you can and
cannot do? And three the parenthas to have the ability to monitor the
(10:16):
phone whenever they want to, aslong as that child lives in that house,
as long as that child is youris under your roof, and and
all of those things, they haveto abide by those rules. Now,
(10:37):
is that going to stop this process? Not as much, but guess what
it'll do. The child understands thereis a criteria. The child understands that
there is rules and regulations, andthen you have to sit down and talk
(10:58):
about whether the consequences if you dodon't break those rules, and there has
to be something that is reasonable.Now, sometimes taking the phone at night,
(11:18):
saying you know, the child can'thave the phone after twelve o'clock or
after ten o'clock or after nine o'clockor whatever it is. Eventually, if
they're gonna do dirt, they're gonnado it before that time. So but
you can monitor it because that's thecriteria. I get to monitor that phone
(11:43):
whenever I want to, or elseyou can't have the phone. So now
let me gonna they're gonna be screamingand hollering. And but so I like
everything. I bet you said itbecause I would do it the exact same
way. But here's what we havethat. I face a lot when I
do with my life. But youare parents and teams, right, I
(12:05):
face parents who wants to be theirfriend, yes, and being your friend.
They can't take that phone away,they can't monitor that phone because they
want to be their kid buddies,right, they want to be the buddies
part of it. And then thecharging part about is that if you're being
their buddy and being their friends,I know how when I do my friends.
(12:26):
Right now, you're not going toteach you how to be an adult?
Will They focus on the fact beingfriendly, being friends. But of
course, by the end of theday, because Carol, you have eight
children, right, you are neverthe friends. You are a parent and
(12:48):
you're friendly of them. That's whyyou have eight just for kids. Right,
here's what you do. I wantyou to focus on the friends you're
friendly and the parents and and Iwant you to also talk about your background,
what you do, the holding downyards so people can understand that in
this world, in this field,you are the goat. You are the
greatest of all time. And mentalhealth, so get you please express well
(13:11):
you know, thank you, John. That's a big bunch. But yes,
I I got into this business along time ago by accident. Basically
because I was always the guy asa child and as a young person,
the person that everybody came to toget advice or to get to talk to.
(13:33):
I was the guy you could talkto. So it just came natural
to me for this to be thatway. So I got into drug treatment
initially because my brother was the managerand he said, hey, come come
work over here, and so immediatelyI could relate, they could relate to
(13:58):
me, and I did so.Then I got into mental health and I
got and I didn't have a degree, and so I was still in a
management role, but I couldn't moveup. So I went back to school,
got my bachelor's and then I couldn'tmove up. Now I got my
master's and master's degree, and soI've been CEO for many years at different
(14:24):
different places. But my love ishelping people work out issues. That's what
I'm gifted to do. Now,this is a gift I've been given by
God that it's just a natural thingthat I can do. That people come
(14:46):
to me with a problem, Ihelped them solve it, and so as
a result of that, that's howI like to work with families and I
like to work with children because wehave to start early. You know,
you got an eighteen year old that'shad a phone since they were twelve.
(15:09):
You got a problem, You gota problem, you got a hard you
got some hard things to deal with. But if you start early with here's
how we do it, here's whatwe do, and you're consistent, you're
fair, and your firm. Thosethree things are what parents lack. Being
(15:37):
fair, being firm, being consistent. Because, like you said, John,
if I would be a friend,well, so mom put you on
punishment for two weeks. Hey,you know what weeks long enough? Come
on, let's go. You couldgo out now. No, you've just
(16:00):
ruined that child. And let metell you this. Children love discipline.
Now that might sound crazy, thatmight sound crazy to you, but they
love discipline. They want discipline.They want structure because they have no clue
(16:23):
what they're doing. And when youset up structure for them, guess what
that equates to. I love youwhen you let me do whatever I want
to do as a child. Youdon't care about me. I'm not protected.
I don't know what's going to happento me, So I keep up
(16:47):
in the anne to make you finallysay oh, maybe I better do something.
See that's the part that we don'tget about children. But if you're
fair, you're firm, and you'reconsistent, are they gonna like you?
(17:07):
Not for a while they're not.That's okay because you're building character, you're
building strength, you're building all thestrategies they're gonna need to live this life
successfully. My eight kids, now, John, you know I'm not gonna
start talking about them because you knowthis will take up our whole hour.
(17:32):
But they're all successful. They allare degreed, and half of them have
advanced degrees and so and it's becausemy wife and I did the work and
I went to school full time.My wife went to school full time.
(17:56):
We both raised eight children. Sodon't tell me it can be done.
But is it work? Though?It is, But let me inject you
once alone and three is going tobe fair, firm, I'm consistent,
and all your kids knew that whatyou said, I mean, come to
(18:19):
a family of ten, right,same thing. My dad and face was
fair, very firm, and veryconsistent. You know, if I was
unpunishing him for a month, wellI normally got my butt beat. But
anyway, if I was on thatpunishment for that, I got a double
waggon. Right. But back inthe day, you know you could spank
a kid. Today, different rules. But we're not gonna go on nothing.
(18:41):
That's a whole different it's subject.But what I see a lot is
in when I work with parents.The I worked with this one specific case.
The the mom was scared to havea life coach because because the daughter
might get angry with her. Yes, I said, how would your daughter?
(19:03):
She's fourteen and she rules? Isays, So in a household,
I see is going three different ways. You're either the leader, which it
shouldn't be. You are the friend, which is a challenge, or you're
the joker. Now that the kidleads the household, there's a lot of
(19:25):
them. Do the kid is theleader? The parent either go from the
friend or to the joker. Here'sa sad thing a button. And I
can talk about this as well,when you become when the kid become the
leader, when she's going the liketypic tantrum and you have to walk around
egg shells around her, Carol,how hard is to be the leader of
(19:47):
the household. It's impossible. Sohere's the thing. And again, parents
aren't stupid. Parents aren't anything.You know, they're good people. That's
not the problem. The problem isbeyond them, their parents, their parents'
(20:10):
parents. This thing goes back togenerations of how people parent kids. So
they're just doing what their parents did. I was lucky my parents. We
had five, six boys, sixbrothers. We were wild and crazy.
(20:36):
My parents were fair, firm andconsistent. There was views on punishment for
two weeks. Believe me, therewould not be thirteen days. It would
not be twelve and a half days. It would be exactly. And then
guess what we did. At theend of the fourteenth day, we had
(21:00):
a meeting to talk about what haveyou learned? If you didn't report what
you learned, guess what you mightgo on for another week because you didn't
learn nothing. Well, you needanother week to learn something. So it
taught us. You know, yes, you're gonna have some problems you need
(21:23):
to have, You're gonna do dumbstuff, but you got to understand you
gotta learn from it because the nexttime you can't do that again, because
then you're gonna be on punishment fora month, or in my day,
your butt will be red and juicy. So but Uh. But that's that's
(21:47):
a whole different life. But butI'm telling you parents to day, I
tell my children who have children,this is the hardest parenting I'm ever ever.
This is so difficult because social media, because social media and okay,
(22:11):
like, for instance, did youknow how much money your parents made?
Did you John? Not? Really? No? Did you know what all
the bills? Did you know what? What you know? He went to
(22:33):
work, she went to work.You knew the title of the jobs.
But your your your knowledge was thisbig? Just this my family, my
friends, my cousins. That's allI know. Now I can know anything
(22:56):
that I want to know by touchinga button. That's all I gotta do.
I touch a button, I speakto uh. What's what's uh?
What's the woman's name? That uhthat you that you ask questions to serious
(23:21):
Siri? You just asked Siri orGoogle, Google, and you can get
the information. So here, here'swhat it's like to me. You take
a five year old and you havehim watch mom cook breakfast every day for
(23:45):
six months, and then you tellthe five year old get on a chair
whatever and cook breakfast. Now he'swatched you very close. Could he do
it? No? Oh, no, and that's the issue today. They
(24:12):
had all this information, don't knowwhat to do with it because they don't
have the experience to discern between thisand that and how to maneuver through through
it. It's not their fault theycan't do it. But how do you
(24:32):
expect the child not to press thatbutton? It's right there in his head?
Well, they got more buttons onthat. Crazy for I had one
who who uh? When I checkedthe phone because the parents never checked the
phone, and we saw, likehow you can check to see where they
(24:53):
went. The kid was on pornhuk. Yes, of course, the
that was their daily thing. AndI'm looking at him like, he didn't
know you didn't block this. Ididn't know that I should I didn't know
that. I didn't know that hewas looking at that and I'm looking at
it, and I asked the kidus, how long you been doing He's
like seven, gaen know this sinceI was thirteen years old? Yes,
(25:15):
right, And that's his world ofhow relationships should be. And see,
guess on what he saw? That'sright, and guess what and that's exactly
And they don't help. And thenwhat they don't know is that's just entertainment,
(25:37):
that's what it is. But theirbrain, this is how it's supposed
to be. This is all you'resupposed to do things. And I'm like
looking at him, like and thenwe and then why do you think all
the rappers are calling the women thisand calling their women that and saying what
they're gonna do to them and allthat because social media says that's okay,
(25:59):
that's all right. Now we cantalk about that. But that's not gotta
change. None of that's going tochange. But how do I get my
child educated on these things? Well? I did it, my wife and
I did it, so I knowit could be done. It's work,
(26:22):
it's it's it's a lot of work. Now, most of my kids grew
into the era of social media.Now my last five probably were social media
right into it. The first threenot so much. But now they learned
(26:48):
a lot and now they teach thechildren the same things. They made sure
that children understand that. And andand they do the work. Work,
they do the work. They allhave degrees. So they went to school.
Ron So let me inject. Whatdo they do for a living?
(27:11):
Right, I go, I haveuh, school administrators, I have entrepreneurs,
I have nurses. Uh, andthey're all doing something fantastic. And
(27:32):
because they knew. In my householdand my my wife and my household,
there was there was rules. Onerule you had to go to school.
The other rule you had to goto college. You could get married.
(27:52):
I don't care when you got married, because that was the rule. You
need to get married if you're ifyou're going to have this or that the
other, you need to get married. So that's okay, but you must
have at least a bachelor's degree.You must. There was no other way
(28:14):
around that. And I only hadone child that tested me and and again,
if you get if you spare mea few more minutes, that the
game was. She didn't want togo to college. I don't want to
go to college. I said,okay, what are you gonna do?
(28:37):
Beat a child because you don't wantto go to college? No, what
good is that gonna do? Somy wife and I decided to strategize about
this. We talked about it.We set a plan and we said,
okay, as a united front,Okay, don't want to those school,
(29:00):
all right? Then you have togo to work and you have to pay
rent and blah blah blah, okay. So she said, that's okay,
Yeah, I do it. Soso she went and every paycheck she cave
home, we made it. Sothe paycheck that she had to pay us
(29:21):
was just slightly more to make heruncomfortable. So but when she gave us
the money, we spent it likewe had won the lottery. We just
went out and blew it all onshoes and on whatever, and we put
(29:42):
it and we would put whatever weblew it on. We put it on
the dining room table and just letit sit there. And so and so
do you know how long that lasted? One semester. She right now now
it's gonna be going for her pHD resolutions. That's the story I love
(30:08):
to tell. She's now gonna besetting for a pH D. So you
gotta you gotta do it outside ofthe box. You gotta plan you and
your wife or you gotta sit downand figure this stuff out. You can't
do it on the fly because youknow, poor planning prevent right. So
(30:37):
everything that you said, I agreewith you, you know, and you
treading me. I appreciate it,because that's all right. Ran Hospitals Residentials.
We worked with the first residential backin Indiana and Chicago. Together,
we worked with kids that was fromthe Nnocity, from Chicago, from the
Community Green, from DC Fast.We have worked with Lily every aspect of
(31:00):
and to me, when I workedwith adolescents, there's nothing because Carol,
what you bought us about thirty yearsago, there was nothing that can that
can compete with anything that I've everseen my whole entire life. The cases
that you brought us made us growup into being effective therapist because yes,
(31:22):
these had a completely different rule,different mindset, different They're from the same
area forty five minutes away, buta completely different culture. Yes. The
cool thing about that is, man, we turned these kids and I love
my boy, doctor Hank parents aroundbecause we got them tools. That's right,
(31:47):
here's the reason why. Because childrenlove discipline, they love structure.
It equates that you care about me, and if you care about me,
I can go on and thrive andbe successful. And that's what you did.
(32:07):
You did that and these are theseare kids that sat by and watched
uh their buddies sitting next to himget shot in the head with a die
of a drug overdose, and livingin poverty where there was no running water,
and all of that. They camethere, they were so happy to
(32:31):
be there because there were so manygames in that place, but one game.
Anytime they had those games, Man, we'll do that wrong. I
understand the gang world crazily, butthat's a different one. But we only
had one. And the reason whywe're bringing this up, guys, and
(32:52):
we know you guys listen to thoseguys are phenomenal parents. And if you
guys are our fathers, I wantto say, is is earlier had dance
Day? Carl? Happy dad?Yeah? Use coming up summer and here
goes. As men, we don'tget the much praise as women do.
Women get it for for they getit a month prior and they get all
these create gifts. And when weget a Carrider said, oh forgot Happy
(33:14):
Dace Day. But I'll give youa look. What we did was we
combined myself and Carl. We gotdoctor Gordon, we got doctor Conway.
Together, we had almost two hundredyears experience working inside this beautiful field that
we have, but we we prettymuch call it life coature and we created
(33:35):
a and we're I created a programback thirty years ago that I've been using
and I wrote to this phenomenal book. Guys, is cod see it look
as cod that goes is God connectingwith your team as this car about eighteen
(34:00):
yars ago. Yeah, So theprogram is based on the book and of
course the best on anybody experience.And there's the body we want to create.
We want to give a program forparents and teams because we're found summons
come up. Guys, these parents, your kids have gaps. But here's
here's what I've Here's what I foundout. I've talked to a lot of
(34:22):
people at my gym. You know, they go to they want to go
to these therapists and know X,Y and Z. But one I told
them, you only get five appointments. Then you have to read it for
the next five. But five appointmentsif I have some of these issues like
Lacard was mentioning about their phones andsitting off sex pictures and everything else,
five sessions is not gonna do anythingfor him, right, So we can
(34:43):
collaboration with a program. We havetwo of them. One is not need
programs to sprint programs. Sprint programsto me between a training program and the
development I want you to break thatdown to them. Please, what's that
not. Oh the difference between thetraining. Yes, So if you do
(35:08):
a training program, now just thinkabout this. You do a training program,
you're talking to people who already knowthis stuff, but you're training them
to be better. You're training themto look at it in a different way,
those kind of things. But ifyou're gonna develop someone, you're gonna
(35:32):
go and try to develop a program. What are you doing. You're taking
people who don't know these things andhaving them learn those things, and that's
how you do it. So youcan't develop someone who's already known, who
(35:53):
already knows it. You that's atraining How many times you go to a
seminar and they have this training programand everybody in there has no clue about
what you're talking about because they don'tknow they need to be developed. So
(36:14):
we we we separate those two thingsand we make them distinctively different so you
get what you need. If youneed training, then you need to show
that you already know some of thesethings already and we could help you get
better with those things. If youneed to be developed, we can do
(36:37):
that too. We could help yougrow into that that you want to grow
into. So those are the twodifferent things and I think one of the
biggest differences we thank you for thebiggest difference is that in the training program,
we have a what will cause asprint program sprints for ninety days to
(36:59):
get you. We need to beat because if you have the skill sets,
a development program is to develop you. Has become having your teams become
leaders, know you know, youknow, have them, have goals and
workshops and seminars. When I wasa little feature back in the day,
some of my is my kids backtwenty ten years ago said that the stuff
(37:20):
you taught me the same stuff thatthey went for twenty elevenies as well.
So I'm just want to do theaccent the exact same process. But the
difference between our programs are because Ilearned that working with crawl Back and Indiana,
we looked at the parents and theteams because he has a problem.
You get Johnny doing great, youunderstand what's going on, and Johnny goes
(37:44):
back in that taxic relationship. Well, the parents have not had no enhanced
skill set. Our program is differencebecause we do a lot of seminars,
we do a lot of workshops,we do live programs to do online.
We do a little bit whatever ittakes to get your child developed, or
if you already had the skill sets, you just need The trending part of
(38:06):
it, treading pers fright. Thetrending parts to me is more of people
are going from like a senior togo into college because college is from a
bid. High school to college isgoing pletely different. Or they're in college.
Are they in college and they needsome more so they just need enhancement
to actually go to that next levelbecause parents have to understand you can send
(38:27):
your kid to the best college possible. They don't got this up and here
the goals working on some issues.If they have depression or anger going on,
how to deal with that stuff inthe workforce. It's going to be
a challenge. About a month ago, I gave a speech at UCI.
I have to tell you these kidswere genius scholar program. All of them
(38:53):
was amazing, talked about leadership,talked about reported to talk about little smart
stuff that I would go inside thisprogram with right and and afterwards. The
shocking part is that a lot ofthem they didn't under only talked the basic
carl. They didn't get it,man, and a lot of them was
crying because they got so much pressurefrom different countries or from parents. Right
(39:19):
now they've got U c I Use I is like another day, back
up, back home. Part ofthe that part of the Barkley you know,
is that part of the Berkeley program. Right, so there is intense.
But when you get pressure on allthat stuff, you don't take care
of yourself. You got issues likedepressure and you're taking medication or whatever it
(39:40):
takes place. You don't have noone to actually talk to. It's gonna
be a challenge. So what wedecided. We decided to come together,
which I love work from Karl Alove work from Dr Horden. Dr Horden,
he's especially when it comes to substance. Excuse all that stuff. He's
completely legit a genius. Uh,Doctor Conway amazing sixty books. Most of
(40:07):
his books come on personality and everythingelse. I mean, these guys are
amazing, right, I made amazing. It's like I get to work with
my mentors. What's his program andand every day by it? Right?
(40:28):
Okay, all right, this makessense? Well he Heegl's parents. If
you guys want to go further faster, DM me to figure out it will
explaining what's going on. We dodo live programs in every in four different
areas. Of course, we willdo one in the Irvine As, California
area. We do one where Carlsat probably Indiana slash Chicago area. We
(40:51):
have one in Florida, and wehave one in Texas. Right but we
also do do live programs. Theprogram is beautiful, it really is.
I would love to expense you guysmore about it. Well, my biggest
thing about it is how because Karland I we are what we consider an
ultimate growth one mental health and clinical, we can work with businesses, but
(41:21):
myself on the business side, wehave to close the gaps right now.
The other thing about that's right,and we and during the summer, you
have to create a summer structure anda summer absolute routine, just like you
(41:42):
had in the school time. There'sa routine. You get up at a
certain time, eat breakfast, youblah blah blah, whatever you do,
you get to school, you comehome, you do homework, blah blah
blah. It's it's a routine andit's a structure. Well, you have
to create that structure in the summernow, and it has to be fun
and it has to be different thanschool, but it has to be structured
(42:06):
and it has to be a routine. Still, they can't just go willing
nearly. It doesn't have to beso tight because you got to be at
school at a certain time. Well, you don't have to be. Time
can vary a little bit, butthere has to be some structure. There
has to be some routine that theyknow about last day of school. All
(42:31):
right, now we're on summer's timestructure and routine. Hey, that's what
they do, oh September. Weare the school structure routine. We know,
you know it. So you haveto build that for the summer.
And that's what we can help youdo. We can help you do it
(42:51):
exactly. It's a structure at all. And also what we also do is
a little system as well, becauseit has to be structured. Because when
you keep your instructured, everything worksout well. But if they know that,
if they have a little system,they know if they do X,
y and z, things are beingtaken away. But it's consistent, as
Carl said, is firm, fairand consistent, life becomes easy. That's
(43:15):
right. No listening to you,man, But you says a great leader
can follow. I'm a phenomenal leader. You're gonna say something, no,
no, no, I didn't knowwhat. I don't have anything else.
(43:37):
So anyway, guys, I justwant to say thank you guys so much.
If you guys want to go furtherfaster, I'll send me a d
M. Send me something right now. And we're streaming this on our LinkedIn
the streaming this on YouTube. I'malso streaming this on Facebook. You guys
need to go further faster, pleaselet me know. And I would love
to come up with a strategy.A program that we have is completely off
the hook. But as Carl mentioned, which is really a strong one,
(44:00):
you gotta have structure right now.You know, the kids might go to
summer school for three or four hours, but what are they doing after that?
And now mom and dad's working becauseof death, it makes some money
coming home, and you've got tomake those two structures different. They got
(44:20):
it one. It's got to becompletely with fun, something they can look
forward to and then they know.And it's the difference between work and play.
You can't work all the time andyou can't play all the time.
You got to understand that life isfull of both. So you got to
(44:42):
do work, go to school,but summertime it's time to play and it's
time to have relaxation. But ithas to be structured and it has to
be a routine, and we canhelp you do that, and believe me,
your kids will love you for itand the wonderful thing. And as
a parent, it would give youenhncement skills set to understand what Johnny or
(45:07):
your kids are doing, so you'regonna be ten steps ahead of them because
you're not ten steps ahead of them. These kids are smart, not ten
steps ahead of them. It's gonnabe a hard time. And then doesna
be build time? You know,we have to do work stuff and then
come back home and deal with Johnnyor Sue actually what's actually taking place.
So that's why we do both.And now we prepare parents to see what's
(45:31):
gonna take place so they can havestructures and systems in place when that actually
happens. All right, Carols,I'm not gonna hold you along. Man,
appreciate your and I appreciate everybody tolisten to the happy Oh yeah,
I can't wait. We having aFather's Day golf tournament tomorrow Sunday, and
(45:57):
uh me and my son and hisson. Uh, I'm gonna be on
the team and we hope to winbring home the trophy. So that's that's
my day for Sunday. All right. I know that you love your golf.
Yes, indeed, all right man, take care. M
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