April 7, 2025 ā¢ 16 mins
šØ NCAA Tournament: Duke vs Houstonā¦ the real winner? Leadership.
Yesterday I watched Duke vs. Houston.
It was a great game, but what decided the outcome?
Leadership.
In my bestselling book Unlimited Business Growth, I break down the 3 types of leadership:
1ļøā£ Destructive
2ļøā£ Neutral
3ļøā£ Effective
Last night, Houstonās coach, Kelvin Sampson, showed Effective Leadership.
Why? Because he worked on himself ā and his team mirrored his mindset:
1. Persistence
2. Dogfight mentality
3. Resilience
Dukeās coach, Jon Scheyer?
He played the Neutral Leadership card ā not bad, not great.
But hereās the truth: Neutral leaders donāt build winning cultures.
They donāt grow teams. They play it safe.
When Coach K led Duke, he was an Effective Leader.
And it showed ā every single player played with urgency and commitment.
In business, most leaders operate from neutral mode.
Thatās why most companies flatline or fail.
So, let me ask you:
What kind of leader are YOU?
Iām giving away a free chapter of my book to help you find out.
And when you grab the full version, youāll unlock $10,000 worth of online courses
š Get your free chapter + bonuses: www.drjohnoda.com
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-doctor-s-corner-with-dr-john-oda--5470834/support.
Dr. John Oda has spent 38 years helping teens and parents strengthen communication, overcome struggles, and build thriving families. Download a free 23-minute deep dive from his book *Connecting with Your Teen: Send an email to info@drjohnoda.com for your download.
Articles, Books, and Podcasts
https://drjohnoda.com/pr-media
Bonding the Family Together
:https://family.pnbcgroup.com/
If your teen is playing sports and wants that extra edge
https://sports.pnbcgroup.com
Yesterday I watched Duke vs. Houston.
It was a great game, but what decided the outcome?
Leadership.
In my bestselling book Unlimited Business Growth, I break down the 3 types of leadership:
1ļøā£ Destructive
2ļøā£ Neutral
3ļøā£ Effective
Last night, Houstonās coach, Kelvin Sampson, showed Effective Leadership.
Why? Because he worked on himself ā and his team mirrored his mindset:
1. Persistence
2. Dogfight mentality
3. Resilience
Dukeās coach, Jon Scheyer?
He played the Neutral Leadership card ā not bad, not great.
But hereās the truth: Neutral leaders donāt build winning cultures.
They donāt grow teams. They play it safe.
When Coach K led Duke, he was an Effective Leader.
And it showed ā every single player played with urgency and commitment.
In business, most leaders operate from neutral mode.
Thatās why most companies flatline or fail.
So, let me ask you:
What kind of leader are YOU?
Iām giving away a free chapter of my book to help you find out.
And when you grab the full version, youāll unlock $10,000 worth of online courses
š Get your free chapter + bonuses: www.drjohnoda.com
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-doctor-s-corner-with-dr-john-oda--5470834/support.
Dr. John Oda has spent 38 years helping teens and parents strengthen communication, overcome struggles, and build thriving families. Download a free 23-minute deep dive from his book *Connecting with Your Teen: Send an email to info@drjohnoda.com for your download.
Articles, Books, and Podcasts
https://drjohnoda.com/pr-media
Bonding the Family Together
:https://family.pnbcgroup.com/
If your teen is playing sports and wants that extra edge
https://sports.pnbcgroup.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome to the doctor's corner. Man, I'm jazz and I'm
pumped up guys. So, guy, I'm your host. I'm doctor
John Oda. A little bit history about myself. I got
thirty eight years working them as health up started back
in ninety eighty nineteen eighty seven to.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
This, it's almost like eighteen hundreds.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
It feels like it, cause the healthcare changed so much,
and I was working back in nine tinety seven. Uh,
patients could stay for six months to a year, you know,
on the average. Now I'm patient to stand for seven
ten days of like aks the max and stuff. So
there's a change completely totally different. So so I worked
in patient on patient I w uh had private practice.
(00:44):
We wrote a book about close almost twenty years ago,
back in a six so I wrote a book called
Connecting with Your Team. Book is still a classic right now,
and I probably have to revise it. If I revised it,
I'll put in more bullying and social media, cause back
in those sex as you know, we didn't have social media.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
The only social media we had was I think it
was my Space. So anyway, so I'm pumped up, excited
and jazz and stuff.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
So about succession, So this weekend, I wanted to chill
out because I asked him with some phenomenal news, Right
I My latest book I wrote, it's called Unlimited Business Growth,
and with that I became Amazon International best selling author.
So I'm pretty jazz about that, and I praise and
thank God for that. So this one we're gonna speak
(01:31):
about leadership. So leadership in the family, and that's gonna
be in the whole topic of this whole concept. But
before we start, I want to thank everybody for joining me.
If it was during the daytime, nighttime, a week later,
or whatever it is, thank you. Thank you for taking
time out of your day to learn some strategies, some tools.
So if your family off, so you can go further
faster and you can have everybody.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Function at that same level. Right I.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
As I said, I worked with in the with adolescents
and teens or for the past twenty three years.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
So I started back.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
In the late eighties, early nineties and two thousand. I've
seen any aspect of teenagers doesn't really surprised me. So
earlier in my career worked back in Michigan City, Indiana
and Chicago.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
And we got more of the.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
Guys from dcfs or from the court systems, and in
that time, I've seen I've say, some of the worst
kids ever. What's the cool thing about it, we had
the A team and we did a phenomenal job almost
it is on those kids and the parents and everything else,
and the symptoms and the challenges that I've had to
(02:41):
face back in that time made me a complete expert
right now because nothing fazed me.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
I've seen it all.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
So right now, I living Ariver in California is a
little bit different. But the sad thing about the teens
are teens and what I believe all kids are at risk.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
So when when I mentioned at risk kids and it's
to me, it's all kids, let me explain to you why.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
So when you go where you grow up with the
gang banging the ghetto, you have to get your money,
and they get money by drugs or whatever.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
But they get their money. That's just the culture.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Well, when you're living in Irvine, California, Newport Beach, the
parents give you money. The sad thing about you the kids,
they they do pretty much the exact same thing. No'm
gonna have money so they can go to LA and
get hair on because Orange County is one of the
biggest areas that have hair on in here.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Right.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
Why because the kids get money. You used efforts the kids.
Other kids on the other side, they have to work
for the money. But I believe that all kids are
at risk because of it's because of the leadership at
the household. So in the Book of Unlimited Business Growth,
we have three tatoo leaders and it's effective leader, neutral leader,
(03:55):
and destructive leaders.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
For the family will go with the first one as
effective leader.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
If you are an effective leader, your household is running smoothly. Right.
But then we have from the effective leader, then we
have the friend. Now the parents become the friend. They're
not the leader of the house. The kids are.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
So the parents are more of the friend or else
they can be the joker. So if you have the twelve,
the three, and.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
The six, right, So twelve is an effective leader a
parents who's very very effective. When I was growing up, man,
my parents are effective because I'm eight of ten, right,
and being eight of ten was a little bit different.
By the time I was there, Man, Mom and dad
was poetry of motion. They know what they knew how
to actually run that household easy and everything.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
I was like, oh my god, it's like.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
I couldn't split them, I couldn't do anything if so,
you know, back in the day, you know, you know,
we got a butt beat. Today the rules a little different,
but but you can do similar stuff with uh what
I always uh created a a level.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
System for the home.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
You know, you can't spank your kid, but you can
give 'em s strategies and tools that feels like a spanking.
And and my and and and my appointed So anyway,
so but when we go backwards, so all that stuff, right,
so so m so, I see had m W w
W we had ten kids, right, so I'm I'm I'm
(05:30):
I'm eight of ten. I'm the baby boy, and I
have nine siblings, six sisters and three republs. Right, and
my parents was effective, you know, we we know, we
all you know graduated college though nine yards right, so effective.
But then on the three there's a friend, some of
my fri friends, they were their parents' friend. I was
(05:50):
never I was never their friend, uh till my parents.
I was only friendly to.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
Them or else.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
Number six the joker and that they didn't take their
parents seriously.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
They thought it was just a joke.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
They could do whatever they choose to and it's a joke, right,
So those are the three areas, right. So the reason
why I bought them up today cause I'm watching the
basketball game. And when I was watching the basketball game
right from Duke and Houston, it's a great game.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
I haven't watched basketball in years.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
But I just I watched that game, chilled out, watched
it and it and what it came down for one
or losing was called leadership. So let me break it
down with the game, Houston man, that coach was effective,
those those guys.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
And when when you're an effective you work on yourself.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
You know the area said that has a gap, and
you close those gaps and you work on yourself and
you get better. So when your players come or when
your teams come, you know how to handle them. You
know to say and how to say things so you
can actually move forward. But let's go backwards. Even so,
I'm i'm'a go with business and families and my family's
(07:08):
in business. They are only like ten percent of effective leaders.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
That's it. Because it's sadly to say parents don't work
on themselves.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
I have parents come to me and say, well, my kid,
my Johnny, he needs to be worked on and I'm
like to myself, but you are the problem.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
Who's gonna work on you?
Speaker 1 (07:26):
So we're gonna get Johnny right, and he's gonna go
back inside that toxic relationship with you.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Just a thought.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
So, when a parent can work on themselves, when a
business owner work on themselves, they are effective. So if
they have any challenges now they can tell them solve.
They can do a lot of different stuff. When I
was growing up, I said, my parents were much older, right,
So man dadd is like poetry in motion. It was
everything he ran smoothly, right, So they were effective. Then
(07:57):
number three, right on the clock.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Three.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
There is what we call is neutral and what I
call and the family. You play their friends, You play
it safe. But could you imagine being your kid friend?
I my brain can't even comprehend them.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
But there's a lot of parents who want to be
their friend.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
They say, well, if I be their friends, well, they
know a friendship is well, I don't know about you
and your friends, and I know money and my friends.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
Back in the day, I would.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
Lie for them, I achieve for them, I do whatever
it takes because they're my boys.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
Or I was quote unquote my girls, not was it right.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
No, So my thing about it, you can be friendly
to your kids, but you still need to be a parent.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
And I think there's a lot.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
Of times that parents cross that boundary cause they want
to be their friend because they don't wanna give them
any consequences.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
But in life, they're gonna have consequences, right.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
So, so the.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
Samson for Houston was an effective leader.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
His player played like his mentality persistent, there was tenacity,
you know, they were it was a dog fight. And
Duke coach man, he was a great athlete. I remember
back in the day two six mister basketball played for Duke.
He he he played up you know, he played for
the pros. He was a great athlete, but does.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
Not make him a great coach.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
It's a big difference. And he was more of what
we call is neutral, and the neutral person in in
parenting world is he was their friend. He was safe.
He didn't make it better, he didn't make it worse.
And with being their friends, you're not gonna make your
kids better. You're not gonna make him worse. But you're
(09:45):
not gonna make him better. You're gonna make him terrible.
To be truly honest with you, they're not gonna be
able to deal with society because you are their friend,
and they're gonna think every adult should be their friend
like their parents.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
It's not, that's not that's not how the world works.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
Our job as being parents is to get our kids
prepared for the real world, right. And I tried to
come up with a strategy or system how to do parents.
I thought that my parents did a phenomenal job. I'm
not sure there's always figuring out why every everyone want
to change their strategy if it's working.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
I guess it's human nature.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
And I guess when we had these kids, we never
had a manual to know how to actually uh raise
our kids.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
And then, last but not least, with a lot of destructive.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
People in business who lost parentings and destructive and business.
I mean, you know they come in attend, they lead
it too, and they hire their friends to work and
their friends are not even quarified.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
This leadership.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
Well, the parents is a joker. They take you as
a joke. I had one case from when I was
working back in the state of Oregon. There's one lady,
you know, the kids was rich and the parents was rich,
brought Mercedes. She crashed it and she wanted uh, you know,
she wanted to be cool, just you know with her
kids and and uh her s her daughter liked this
(11:07):
guy and told Mom they likes this guy, and you know,
they got high and Mom tried to stay up and
I told her this is a bad idea. She said,
oh no, no, no doctor or to no doctor, and
I need to be my kid friend, you know. But
but but all the kids took him as a joking.
She was a very attractive woman.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
Or the found out the next day when they woke up.
The mom had.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
Uh, the boy had sex with her uh mother, and
that relationship was just sour like use she crossed the
life and but one she wanted to be the friend.
But now the uh, the family and everybody else thought
of she was just being a joker. Now she's just a joke, alright,
So there's boundaries to to cross on all those leaderships.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
She has a question that have for you.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
No, I'm n and I'm watching that game and the
course from Duke gnre phenomenal player man, but it's not
he was more of a neutral court choose. Her friend
even mentioned where I messed up, Well, you messed up,
because when people say that they messed up and told
me that they have been worked on themselves.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
So here's what I want to ask you, parents.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
Right, what type of leadership are you at with your family?
Are you an effective leader? Are you either a friend
or are you the joker? Because you and if you're
the friend, then that means.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
That they're the leader.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
I had worth working with this one client, her kid thirteen,
fourteen years old. She man, she ruled that house parents
were her mom was scared of her, single firm. Her
mom was scared of her, didn't want to work with
her as she was scared of her own. Damn thirteen
year old kid? How was the kids going to be
when she gets sixteen or seventeen? Like she's walking on
egg shells. I meet parents right now, even at my
(12:50):
gym that I'm at, who's in their fifties and sixties,
who can't rule the household and they're walking on their hills.
Question of us, how can that take place? The reason
why I say that is they're not an effective leader.
And I'm not saying that that they're bad people, don't
get me wrong. List and they're saying that they didn't
work on themselves, and the true model is working on yourself.
(13:15):
So when you work on yourself, you're fine. So when
you give Johnny a consequence, you work on your self esteem,
you don't feel bad about it.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
You say, listen to me, I'm gonna make you.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
To a man or all who's a little girl making
you to a woman when you grow up. So here's
what I want you to put down. What type of
a leader are you? And I bet you any money
the type of leader of that you are is dictating
in your family right now?
Speaker 2 (13:46):
You don't think about this. What type of leader are you?
What type of leader are your spouse?
Speaker 1 (13:50):
Because here's what we as to what I see but
have Some people could be an effective leader, but their
spouse could be neutral. They want to be their buddy
or just a joke. So now those dynamics is messed up.
But now you tell Johnny ann or jail in to
get help. And I tell everybody when the when? When
(14:10):
there's when? When you guys are that at that age
it has to be all the whole family has to
be helped one cause the whole the old whole family
have to get help to to not be so toxic.
You get back john here in jail doing phenomenally. Well,
you going back to that same environment, what's gonna happen.
He's gonna come back to the hospital. That's why the
mental health we see. You see all these parents, all
these kids would come back. Why parents ever got help? Uh,
(14:33):
I'm too busy at work BS belief systems, So listen
to me.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
It's gonna be a short one for me. Of course,
I don't wanna think about this. What type of leader
are you?
Speaker 1 (14:46):
In here?
Speaker 2 (14:46):
It goes and you guys wanna read.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
It on the Leadership Book and my new book coming
out on a pol Lincoln is I is I is
in here as well, but it's doctor john odo dot com.
You get a free chapter of the book and also
if you get the book, will give you ten thousand
dollars of online courses. That's so if you guys would
like it. It's a beautiful book. It's a fiction nonfiction.
(15:09):
So here's what I do it in this book. So
I take my character from my first book, Alan Private.
You know, as a teenager kid, you know drugs, alcohol,
you know, defrant behavior, and I throw him into this book.
But in this book, now he's forty five, fifty years.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
Old and he's a Biggernaire.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
So he goes into the future thirty years and he
sees two sides. The first side he sees it he's homeless,
that he lost everything because of his cocky attitude.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
You know that fifteen to sixteen he had those issues,
but he never worked on him. So they didn't change.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
They're just manifest into something else, and they lost crazy
amount of money.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
But then he saw that he changed his life.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
And he become he became a sex tillion that's one
with twenty one zeros. And he writes about the good,
the bad, and the ugly of the book. So it's
great books about business, about fiction, non fiction, it's about
mental health.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
And we blend everything together for the book.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
So and then of course we get five thousand dollars
for online courses. We have courses on leadership, we got uh,
we got h courses on a goal setting, being an
expert inside your field.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
We also have a.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
Secession on addictions, automation and emotional intelligence. So phenomenal book.
It's not me, it's my it's my five experts. But
listen to me, I guys, I wanna thank you so
much giving me. My website is doctor john Order dot com.
It's g R Georgenorda dot com.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
Thank you so much. You guys have a phenomenal day.
Until next time, take care and blessings. Bye for none.
Welcome to the doctor's corner. Man, I'm jazz and I'm
pumped up guys. So, guy, I'm your host. I'm doctor
John Oda. A little bit history about myself. I got
thirty eight years working them as health up started back
in ninety eighty nineteen eighty seven to.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
This, it's almost like eighteen hundreds.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
It feels like it, cause the healthcare changed so much,
and I was working back in nine tinety seven. Uh,
patients could stay for six months to a year, you know,
on the average. Now I'm patient to stand for seven
ten days of like aks the max and stuff. So
there's a change completely totally different. So so I worked
in patient on patient I w uh had private practice.
(00:44):
We wrote a book about close almost twenty years ago,
back in a six so I wrote a book called
Connecting with Your Team. Book is still a classic right now,
and I probably have to revise it. If I revised it,
I'll put in more bullying and social media, cause back
in those sex as you know, we didn't have social media.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
The only social media we had was I think it
was my Space. So anyway, so I'm pumped up, excited
and jazz and stuff.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
So about succession, So this weekend, I wanted to chill
out because I asked him with some phenomenal news, Right
I My latest book I wrote, it's called Unlimited Business Growth,
and with that I became Amazon International best selling author.
So I'm pretty jazz about that, and I praise and
thank God for that. So this one we're gonna speak
(01:31):
about leadership. So leadership in the family, and that's gonna
be in the whole topic of this whole concept. But
before we start, I want to thank everybody for joining me.
If it was during the daytime, nighttime, a week later,
or whatever it is, thank you. Thank you for taking
time out of your day to learn some strategies, some tools.
So if your family off, so you can go further
faster and you can have everybody.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Function at that same level. Right I.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
As I said, I worked with in the with adolescents
and teens or for the past twenty three years.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
So I started back.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
In the late eighties, early nineties and two thousand. I've
seen any aspect of teenagers doesn't really surprised me. So
earlier in my career worked back in Michigan City, Indiana
and Chicago.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
And we got more of the.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
Guys from dcfs or from the court systems, and in
that time, I've seen I've say, some of the worst
kids ever. What's the cool thing about it, we had
the A team and we did a phenomenal job almost
it is on those kids and the parents and everything else,
and the symptoms and the challenges that I've had to
(02:41):
face back in that time made me a complete expert
right now because nothing fazed me.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
I've seen it all.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
So right now, I living Ariver in California is a
little bit different. But the sad thing about the teens
are teens and what I believe all kids are at risk.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
So when when I mentioned at risk kids and it's
to me, it's all kids, let me explain to you why.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
So when you go where you grow up with the
gang banging the ghetto, you have to get your money,
and they get money by drugs or whatever.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
But they get their money. That's just the culture.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Well, when you're living in Irvine, California, Newport Beach, the
parents give you money. The sad thing about you the kids,
they they do pretty much the exact same thing. No'm
gonna have money so they can go to LA and
get hair on because Orange County is one of the
biggest areas that have hair on in here.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Right.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
Why because the kids get money. You used efforts the kids.
Other kids on the other side, they have to work
for the money. But I believe that all kids are
at risk because of it's because of the leadership at
the household. So in the Book of Unlimited Business Growth,
we have three tatoo leaders and it's effective leader, neutral leader,
(03:55):
and destructive leaders.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
For the family will go with the first one as
effective leader.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
If you are an effective leader, your household is running smoothly. Right.
But then we have from the effective leader, then we
have the friend. Now the parents become the friend. They're
not the leader of the house. The kids are.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
So the parents are more of the friend or else
they can be the joker. So if you have the twelve,
the three, and.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
The six, right, So twelve is an effective leader a
parents who's very very effective. When I was growing up, man,
my parents are effective because I'm eight of ten, right,
and being eight of ten was a little bit different.
By the time I was there, Man, Mom and dad
was poetry of motion. They know what they knew how
to actually run that household easy and everything.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
I was like, oh my god, it's like.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
I couldn't split them, I couldn't do anything if so,
you know, back in the day, you know, you know,
we got a butt beat. Today the rules a little different,
but but you can do similar stuff with uh what
I always uh created a a level.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
System for the home.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
You know, you can't spank your kid, but you can
give 'em s strategies and tools that feels like a spanking.
And and my and and and my appointed So anyway,
so but when we go backwards, so all that stuff, right,
so so m so, I see had m W w
W we had ten kids, right, so I'm I'm I'm
(05:30):
I'm eight of ten. I'm the baby boy, and I
have nine siblings, six sisters and three republs. Right, and
my parents was effective, you know, we we know, we
all you know graduated college though nine yards right, so effective.
But then on the three there's a friend, some of
my fri friends, they were their parents' friend. I was
(05:50):
never I was never their friend, uh till my parents.
I was only friendly to.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
Them or else.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
Number six the joker and that they didn't take their
parents seriously.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
They thought it was just a joke.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
They could do whatever they choose to and it's a joke, right,
So those are the three areas, right. So the reason
why I bought them up today cause I'm watching the
basketball game. And when I was watching the basketball game
right from Duke and Houston, it's a great game.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
I haven't watched basketball in years.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
But I just I watched that game, chilled out, watched
it and it and what it came down for one
or losing was called leadership. So let me break it
down with the game, Houston man, that coach was effective,
those those guys.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
And when when you're an effective you work on yourself.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
You know the area said that has a gap, and
you close those gaps and you work on yourself and
you get better. So when your players come or when
your teams come, you know how to handle them. You
know to say and how to say things so you
can actually move forward. But let's go backwards. Even so,
I'm i'm'a go with business and families and my family's
(07:08):
in business. They are only like ten percent of effective leaders.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
That's it. Because it's sadly to say parents don't work
on themselves.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
I have parents come to me and say, well, my kid,
my Johnny, he needs to be worked on and I'm
like to myself, but you are the problem.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
Who's gonna work on you?
Speaker 1 (07:26):
So we're gonna get Johnny right, and he's gonna go
back inside that toxic relationship with you.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Just a thought.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
So, when a parent can work on themselves, when a
business owner work on themselves, they are effective. So if
they have any challenges now they can tell them solve.
They can do a lot of different stuff. When I
was growing up, I said, my parents were much older, right,
So man dadd is like poetry in motion. It was
everything he ran smoothly, right, So they were effective. Then
(07:57):
number three, right on the clock.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Three.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
There is what we call is neutral and what I
call and the family. You play their friends, You play
it safe. But could you imagine being your kid friend?
I my brain can't even comprehend them.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
But there's a lot of parents who want to be
their friend.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
They say, well, if I be their friends, well, they
know a friendship is well, I don't know about you
and your friends, and I know money and my friends.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
Back in the day, I would.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
Lie for them, I achieve for them, I do whatever
it takes because they're my boys.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
Or I was quote unquote my girls, not was it right.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
No, So my thing about it, you can be friendly
to your kids, but you still need to be a parent.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
And I think there's a lot.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
Of times that parents cross that boundary cause they want
to be their friend because they don't wanna give them
any consequences.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
But in life, they're gonna have consequences, right.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
So, so the.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
Samson for Houston was an effective leader.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
His player played like his mentality persistent, there was tenacity,
you know, they were it was a dog fight. And
Duke coach man, he was a great athlete. I remember
back in the day two six mister basketball played for Duke.
He he he played up you know, he played for
the pros. He was a great athlete, but does.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
Not make him a great coach.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
It's a big difference. And he was more of what
we call is neutral, and the neutral person in in
parenting world is he was their friend. He was safe.
He didn't make it better, he didn't make it worse.
And with being their friends, you're not gonna make your
kids better. You're not gonna make him worse. But you're
(09:45):
not gonna make him better. You're gonna make him terrible.
To be truly honest with you, they're not gonna be
able to deal with society because you are their friend,
and they're gonna think every adult should be their friend
like their parents.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
It's not, that's not that's not how the world works.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
Our job as being parents is to get our kids
prepared for the real world, right. And I tried to
come up with a strategy or system how to do parents.
I thought that my parents did a phenomenal job. I'm
not sure there's always figuring out why every everyone want
to change their strategy if it's working.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
I guess it's human nature.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
And I guess when we had these kids, we never
had a manual to know how to actually uh raise
our kids.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
And then, last but not least, with a lot of destructive.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
People in business who lost parentings and destructive and business.
I mean, you know they come in attend, they lead
it too, and they hire their friends to work and
their friends are not even quarified.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
This leadership.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
Well, the parents is a joker. They take you as
a joke. I had one case from when I was
working back in the state of Oregon. There's one lady,
you know, the kids was rich and the parents was rich,
brought Mercedes. She crashed it and she wanted uh, you know,
she wanted to be cool, just you know with her
kids and and uh her s her daughter liked this
(11:07):
guy and told Mom they likes this guy, and you know,
they got high and Mom tried to stay up and
I told her this is a bad idea. She said,
oh no, no, no doctor or to no doctor, and
I need to be my kid friend, you know. But
but but all the kids took him as a joking.
She was a very attractive woman.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
Or the found out the next day when they woke up.
The mom had.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
Uh, the boy had sex with her uh mother, and
that relationship was just sour like use she crossed the
life and but one she wanted to be the friend.
But now the uh, the family and everybody else thought
of she was just being a joker. Now she's just a joke, alright,
So there's boundaries to to cross on all those leaderships.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
She has a question that have for you.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
No, I'm n and I'm watching that game and the
course from Duke gnre phenomenal player man, but it's not
he was more of a neutral court choose. Her friend
even mentioned where I messed up, Well, you messed up,
because when people say that they messed up and told
me that they have been worked on themselves.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
So here's what I want to ask you, parents.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
Right, what type of leadership are you at with your family?
Are you an effective leader? Are you either a friend
or are you the joker? Because you and if you're
the friend, then that means.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
That they're the leader.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
I had worth working with this one client, her kid thirteen,
fourteen years old. She man, she ruled that house parents
were her mom was scared of her, single firm. Her
mom was scared of her, didn't want to work with
her as she was scared of her own. Damn thirteen
year old kid? How was the kids going to be
when she gets sixteen or seventeen? Like she's walking on
egg shells. I meet parents right now, even at my
(12:50):
gym that I'm at, who's in their fifties and sixties,
who can't rule the household and they're walking on their hills.
Question of us, how can that take place? The reason
why I say that is they're not an effective leader.
And I'm not saying that that they're bad people, don't
get me wrong. List and they're saying that they didn't
work on themselves, and the true model is working on yourself.
(13:15):
So when you work on yourself, you're fine. So when
you give Johnny a consequence, you work on your self esteem,
you don't feel bad about it.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
You say, listen to me, I'm gonna make you.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
To a man or all who's a little girl making
you to a woman when you grow up. So here's
what I want you to put down. What type of
a leader are you? And I bet you any money
the type of leader of that you are is dictating
in your family right now?
Speaker 2 (13:46):
You don't think about this. What type of leader are you?
What type of leader are your spouse?
Speaker 1 (13:50):
Because here's what we as to what I see but
have Some people could be an effective leader, but their
spouse could be neutral. They want to be their buddy
or just a joke. So now those dynamics is messed up.
But now you tell Johnny ann or jail in to
get help. And I tell everybody when the when? When
(14:10):
there's when? When you guys are that at that age
it has to be all the whole family has to
be helped one cause the whole the old whole family
have to get help to to not be so toxic.
You get back john here in jail doing phenomenally. Well,
you going back to that same environment, what's gonna happen.
He's gonna come back to the hospital. That's why the
mental health we see. You see all these parents, all
these kids would come back. Why parents ever got help? Uh,
(14:33):
I'm too busy at work BS belief systems, So listen
to me.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
It's gonna be a short one for me. Of course,
I don't wanna think about this. What type of leader
are you?
Speaker 1 (14:46):
In here?
Speaker 2 (14:46):
It goes and you guys wanna read.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
It on the Leadership Book and my new book coming
out on a pol Lincoln is I is I is
in here as well, but it's doctor john odo dot com.
You get a free chapter of the book and also
if you get the book, will give you ten thousand
dollars of online courses. That's so if you guys would
like it. It's a beautiful book. It's a fiction nonfiction.
(15:09):
So here's what I do it in this book. So
I take my character from my first book, Alan Private.
You know, as a teenager kid, you know drugs, alcohol,
you know, defrant behavior, and I throw him into this book.
But in this book, now he's forty five, fifty years.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
Old and he's a Biggernaire.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
So he goes into the future thirty years and he
sees two sides. The first side he sees it he's homeless,
that he lost everything because of his cocky attitude.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
You know that fifteen to sixteen he had those issues,
but he never worked on him. So they didn't change.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
They're just manifest into something else, and they lost crazy
amount of money.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
But then he saw that he changed his life.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
And he become he became a sex tillion that's one
with twenty one zeros. And he writes about the good,
the bad, and the ugly of the book. So it's
great books about business, about fiction, non fiction, it's about
mental health.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
And we blend everything together for the book.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
So and then of course we get five thousand dollars
for online courses. We have courses on leadership, we got uh,
we got h courses on a goal setting, being an
expert inside your field.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
We also have a.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
Secession on addictions, automation and emotional intelligence. So phenomenal book.
It's not me, it's my it's my five experts. But
listen to me, I guys, I wanna thank you so
much giving me. My website is doctor john Order dot com.
It's g R Georgenorda dot com.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
Thank you so much. You guys have a phenomenal day.
Until next time, take care and blessings. Bye for none.
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