The Dr Meleeka Clary Show - w/ Guest Danute Debney Shaw

The topic discussing will be how using positive psychology towards influencing one’s behavior regarding Mental Illness, Depression and Anxiety.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:56):
It was an interesting none for me at the time,
cause I really wasn't seeking someone or anyone, I should say.
I just hope if I did meet someone that they
would be a positive person to meet.

Speaker 2 (01:16):
Everything he was singing and dooming was making me fall
in love with him.

Speaker 3 (01:33):
Fighting over custody a lot of people quit, but when
that's just how we got to be, but she keeps
on fighting ninety takes a lot of Yet ow you
like Judy heart in the characters objection with any of
this evidence, I say to you.

Speaker 4 (01:52):
For fifteen thousand dollars.

Speaker 5 (01:54):
I would write to see myself.

Speaker 3 (01:56):
This is all about a child, a poor point, born
into a battle.

Speaker 6 (02:03):
You know what your lies and got a surprise. I've
got to supply a god. You know what your lies,
and God supply gotta surpply, said Jay Jack. You're trying

(02:23):
to have a judge removed.

Speaker 4 (02:27):
I'll send you herth the thousands of dollars for coming
to court.

Speaker 3 (02:32):
How much money since we came as to get paying
you and your fellow Jess.

Speaker 5 (02:37):
Time.

Speaker 3 (02:38):
I'm gonna survive, but God, I survive. You know what
your lies and going surprise got a surprise, said.

Speaker 6 (02:44):
I'm going to surprise God, survive with your.

Speaker 4 (02:47):
Lies of God. Supply.

Speaker 5 (02:55):
Welcome to the Doctor Milika Claire Show on the Boat
and Brave TV Network.

Speaker 4 (02:59):
Well what come in love?

Speaker 5 (03:04):
Oh yeah, I have to say that, thanking God, Thank
you God for give me up this morning. Oh yes,
oh yes, oh yes. You know I always have to
give acknowledgement because you never know. So he got me
up this morning. I'm able to do this show, able
to say I love you to my loved one. So
I have to get that out of there. Appreciate you know,
because like I said, there's other people all over the

(03:26):
world is going through something and we're all just living
one day at a time and trying to do our
best stay as positive as we can, you know, so
let me give some acknowledgements. Thank you to my fans
for seeing the movie. It was very popular this weekend
three coins Inception on Prime Video, so please continue to

(03:46):
watch that movie and support. I appreciate you, guys. I
love you very much. Thank you so much for all
your support because, as you know, that movie is based
on true events and things that I went through, and
it's hard when you go through something in your life
and you share that. You know, even if it's a movie,
and sometimes people look at oh, this is just entertainment,
but it's actually based on true events and something that

(04:08):
someone went through and it could be a sad moment
and you know, and could be your laughing moment. But
I kind of have that mixed vibe with the movie
because things came out of it good and things came
out of it bad. But what made me or actually
motivated me to make that movie and complete that movie
is because my voice wasn't being heard, nor was I

(04:31):
being seen, and that was important for me. It was
a movie that was draining for me, and it was
a movie that I felt like why why do I
have to complete this? But I'm spiritual and God helped
me through it and got me through it because all
the odds was against me. But I had only a
couple that was like, hey, you know what, you can

(04:51):
do this, You can finish and get through this movie.
It needed to get completed. It needed to be completed.
So thank you again for the support. You're looking for
me if you haven't been following me my social media's
I'm on Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, to YouTube, snap snap snapchat,

(05:16):
Let's get confused x and We're linked in too, and
you can just google me. I'm doctor Milika Clary dot com.
It's my website, or you could just google me doctor
Milica Clario Milika Clary, or I'm on the IMDb as well,
and so please continue to follow me. And and I
have a group. It's not a large group, you know,

(05:38):
it's on Facebook as well. I give a lot of
affirmations on that group. I try to bring to positive
energy because we have so much negativity and you just
you just want some positivity in this world and we
need it. I mean, every day, if you get an
opportunity to get up do something different, you know, like

(06:00):
I always, I'm always going to mention this to your people.
You have the power to change anything you want to change.
You have the power to do whatever you want to do.
Trust me, it's within your means. But you have the power.
If you don't like something, you can change it. If
you don't want to be around somebody, you don't have to.

(06:20):
If you don't like to socialize in different arenas in
this way or that way, you could change that.

Speaker 2 (06:27):
You know.

Speaker 5 (06:27):
It's just like that. You have the power of your decision.
And I am always going to stress that out. Constantly
stress that out that you can make those changes. You
do not have to be stuck. And if you don't
know how, you can email me too. You can email me,

(06:48):
send me your emails, you can give me a call
and my contact informations on the web. I'm not hiding
you need help to get to that. I want to say,
peaceful place within yourself. I can help you do that.
If I can't help you, I will find resources that can.
Even if it's a psychologist, psychiatrist, or therapist, counselor doesn't matter.

(07:17):
I can find that help for your So with that
being said, it's your control to get in touch and
do something. So there's no need to say, hey, I
gotta stay just like this. You don't have to. You
have the power to change. Trust me. I know what
change is all about. I did it myself. I'm still

(07:37):
doing change. So with that being said, on that note,
we are going to take a reform show and we'll
be right back with the Doctor Malika Claire Show on
the Bold and Brave TV Network. To not Go in
Nowhere Fail. We have a wonderful guest, don't go Nowhere.
If we'll be right back. Hello, All three Corners of
Deception movie is now available on Prime video. How about that.

(08:03):
October fourteen, twenty twenty three, on my fiftieth birthday, I
am going.

Speaker 7 (08:09):
To release this and you guys could go ahead and
help me do just that. Go see that movie.

Speaker 5 (08:18):
Thank you for all the support and not giving up
on me. Go see that Three Corners of Deception release
me from all the pain and everything I've been through.

Speaker 7 (08:30):
Go see the movie.

Speaker 5 (08:32):
Thank you.

Speaker 4 (08:33):
I love you all. Thank you for all of the support.

Speaker 5 (08:37):
Go see that movie, Prime video, Prime Video.

Speaker 6 (08:42):
How about that?

Speaker 7 (08:45):
God bless you all. I love you all.

Speaker 5 (08:49):
It was really hard for me to do that movie
sometimes because at that time, because ten years ago is
what I went through and it wasn't then, so I
had to take Even they say you play yourself, it's
not really always easy to play yourself. You have to
play yourself ten years ago when your mind was just
comboblated and you felt betrayaled, you know what I mean.

(09:12):
You felt like, you know, life was just not it
and you know, not in my situation. And it's based
on true events, and you know, unfortunately it's about judicial deception,
but it's also about romance and drama and divorced it's
something that just went to a different way, but as
I changed it and went into a movie. But what's

(09:32):
interesting about this situation people don't understand. It's a flow
technique for me. That was my release to finish this movie.
Welcome back to Darky, Relick and Clary Show on the
Vote and Brave TV Network will come in live. Yes,

(09:57):
family are back. You know, i'd be messing around my
engine there. You know, he's a Roda Dyadonek's fan and
I could go both ways, well three ways Patriots Patriots.
Well we're talking about basketball, so I have to say
Celtics paces and New York. I got to put Cleveland
somewhere in there too. He's go laugh for at me
right now, but I have to go there.

Speaker 1 (10:18):
You know.

Speaker 5 (10:18):
We just have to have fun on the show, and
we really talk about sports and stuff like that. So
I have some sport fans wait in the back here
running this show. So we got to go shout out
to our sport fans. So with that being said, before
I have went on break, you know, I was telling
you you could do something, change something. You don't have
to be you don't have to be disgusted with just

(10:40):
saying Hey, this is it. If you believe and you
don't like what you're doing and how you're feeling, change
it if you need help. That's why I do this.
I work on this platform and I give advice and
I bring wonderful guests to help you and influence you.
But not just that, I also bring people on my
platform and to let you know that we are human

(11:02):
and not everybody always have it together. They find their way,
So we're always followers before we become leaders. So remember that.
And on that note, you know, I have a wonderful guest.
I have met her during the International Association of Top
Professional Gallar and we have sat right next to each other,

(11:24):
and she's just a wonderful soul. You know, she's an author,
she is a writer, she is an attorney, she is
a strategist. I mean, it's not nothing this wonderful soul does.
And I was just glad that she agreed to be
a guest on my show. But you know, not just
that that she is a wonderful soul and she does

(11:46):
all these things. I mean, really she's a power woman.
But what I don't know about her is something more personal,
and I think that is always important to get to
know some personally a little bit, not just what you
can read about them, but a little bit more of
a connection, because it makes you feel more human. And

(12:09):
that's what I'm all about. Human. So with that being said,
come on in, fam let let's go welcome my beautiful,
intelligent guess the attorney Shaw. Come on in here, miss,
How you doing.

Speaker 4 (12:27):
I'm doing wonderfully. I just will make one quick correction.
It's the last name is Debney Shaw, just so people know,
because its one of I have is that people.

Speaker 5 (12:40):
But it's oh, you know what, so wait a minute,
is it all together Debney Shaw?

Speaker 4 (12:46):
It's oh, there's a space. There's no hyphen and I
don't know if this makes a difference, but I'm out
of sync on my side on what I'm seeing of
me speaking. I'm speaking completely out of sync. I can
hear you from Okay, okay, So wait a minute. This
is not a hyphenated name. No, it's just three words.
I used to be denuded Elizabeth Debney Shaw. I thought

(13:08):
that was too pretentious. I thought that was too much
for people. And so what I did was I got
rid of Elizabeth and uh, I just kept the Debney
space shop.

Speaker 5 (13:18):
Oh, Okay, that's your whole full last name shall sorry
about that. Wow, No, this is okay, but I thought
it was Your middle name is Debney. That's what that's
what it looks like.

Speaker 4 (13:28):
Yeah, that's whatever.

Speaker 5 (13:30):
That's what everybody okay. Well, hey Debney Shaw, all right
that day even better? Well all right, well well Attorney
Debney Shaw. Welcome, no or thank you.

Speaker 4 (13:47):
So much, Thank you so much, dear. I'm so delighted
to be here with you, doctor Cleary, and I can't
wait for us to get into our discussion.

Speaker 5 (13:56):
Oh well, thank you. I appreciate it. Now we may
go on to a commercial eventually and I'll let you know.
But you know what, like I said, I know so
much about you, I've researched you. But what I don't
know is who do you identify yourself to you?

Speaker 4 (14:15):
Who do I identify myself? Well, I'm very good at
a centralized identity, meaning I don't try to identify with
someone else but myself. I think this might be a
good point at which to mention that I have very
strong family affiliations. So if I have any particular identification,

(14:37):
it has to do with with them, what they've brought
into my life, what they've been through in their lives,
which has been really quite dramatic. My mother was in
a Siberian labor camp. My dad was in a German
labor camp. Now this is not something that people identify
with very readily, but what it gives me, what it
informs me about, is how is billiens can work. And

(15:01):
it was very important how you began this show talking
about people being able to make their lives, to create
their lives through their decision making, and that resonates so
strongly with me because of those early foundations of how
these people got through their lives. They got through their
challenges by making the decisions that they needed to make
to live, to survive. My grandmother, for example, started out

(15:24):
in a kind of a down and abby scenario in
Eastern Europe, ended up going through the Russian Revolution, the
First World War, the Second World War, a Siberian labor camp,
a Middle East holding camp, and finally the United States.
In fact, my second book is going to be about
her story. Arc I believe that it's instructive, but it

(15:44):
will be more entertaining in the sense that it will
elaborate on the different episodes that took place. My first book,
how The tin Man Found his Brain is part of
a trilogy that's all about decision making. That first book
is the broad Overview, the second one will be about
risk taking, and the third one will be about validation,

(16:04):
because that's another thing that stands in the way of
our decision making often when we need that validation. That
scarecrow didn't think he had a brain until they gave
him a diploma. And as you well know, so many
people have inner brilliance, inner capability. We all have a
certain form of inner brilliance that we don't always acknowledge
in ourselves, whether that's been you know, kind of ignored

(16:27):
by people around us, not encouraged or sometimes put down.
People have been through, you know, terrible episodes in their life,
whether at home or in school, at work, where they've
been marginalized in different ways, and so that validation becomes
very very important.

Speaker 5 (16:44):
Yes, And then you summed it up, well, yes, and
you know what, and it is true because you know,
identity is very important, and you know it's not a
quick question, you know what I mean, it's not always
a question at all. It's just that many people don't
know that too. They don't know the identity I've heard

(17:05):
no people don't and it's not no, it's true, it's okay,
it's okay, Well it's it helps.

Speaker 4 (17:11):
If you can root yourself in a sense of identity,
whether that's cultural identity, ethnic identity, racial identity. These are
the identities that give us the roots and the foundations
for the development of our lives and for all those
decisions that we're going to need to make. It's part
of what we have to you know, it's not so
much that we have to incorporate it outside in because

(17:34):
it's within all of us. It's already there. We need
to be able to engage it and work with it
based on what we experience in the outer world.

Speaker 5 (17:43):
Absolutely, and you know what, thank you so much for
sharing that. At this moment, we're going to take a
brief commercial and we'll be right back with the Doctor
Malika Clairochelle on the Bold and Brave TV Network. Guys,
do not go nowhere. We'll be right back with Tony
de Newt. Definitely, suaw. It was because of me having

(18:05):
a voice and saying something about what had happened to me,
because I can't believe it. I can't believe that these
individuals put their good name and their reputation on the
line just to hurt somebody because they spoke up. Yes see,

(18:26):
that's what happens when you speak up. I get it,
but I'm not fearful because of that. Even though I
went through a lot and still go through a lot
of things, I got God on my side, and I
feel like if that is not enough, then I don't
know what it is. Because I'm still standing and I'm
still telling my story and I'm gonna keep on telling stories.
And that is why I like film, Because film you're

(18:49):
being able to express things that you went through and
experiences and people you know, you'd be amazed what you
can do. Hello. All Three Corners of Deception movie is
now available on Prime Video. How about that. October fourteen,

(19:15):
twenty twenty three, on my fiftieth birthday, I am going.

Speaker 7 (19:19):
To release this and you guys could go ahead and
help me.

Speaker 3 (19:24):
Do just that.

Speaker 7 (19:26):
Go see that movie.

Speaker 5 (19:29):
Thank you for all the support and not giving up
on me. Go see that Three Corners of Deception. Release
me from all the pain and everything I've been through.
Go see the movie.

Speaker 7 (19:42):
Thank you, I love you all. Thank you for all
of the support. Go see that movie.

Speaker 5 (19:49):
Prime video Prime Video.

Speaker 6 (19:53):
How about that?

Speaker 7 (19:55):
God bless you all.

Speaker 5 (19:56):
I love you all. Welcome back to The Doctor Malika
Clary Show on the Vote and Brave TV Network. Well,
come in love. We are still with amazing and beautiful
and talented attorney Debney Shaw. Come on in here, darling.
All right, I love that lipstick. It's beautiful. You're just

(20:19):
thank you. I swear like you. Just blowing your cheeks
is like vibrant.

Speaker 4 (20:24):
It's like wow, it's the energy and enthusiasm.

Speaker 5 (20:30):
Yeah, I'm telling you it looks great, looks great. I'm
telling you. I love the cheeks. It's just like, whoo,
how you doing? You know, before we went on a break,
we were talking about identity.

Speaker 3 (20:39):
You know what.

Speaker 5 (20:40):
I'm spiritual and I grew up my norms of spirituality
was Baptist Baptism, you know with Baptist, but Christianity and God,
Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit. Not everybody was raised on
those norms. So my thing is when I have some
thing going on, I utilize what my belief mechanism is.

(21:05):
Do you have a belief mechanism that you utilize or
believe in?

Speaker 4 (21:10):
Well, my background was largely Christian, but my own personal
kind of reference point is spiritual is a sense of spirituality.
But one of the things that I'm very very cognizant
of doing when I am particularly working with people, because
that's when I have to draw on those resources, I
step into where they are coming from. In fact, I

(21:32):
had a client. She was from the Middle East. Originally,
she's lived here for thirty years or so, but that
was her orientation, that's where she came from, that's where
she drew her connections from. And because I was working
with her not only about her professional issues she was
involved with a large organization in Washington, d C. But
also with some of her personal strategies that she was

(21:52):
interested in developing, you know, strategies in terms of decisions
that she needed to make going forward in her life.
But she was always informed by the culture that she
came from. And that's one of the things that I
love to do, is be able to kind of get
into where people are coming from instead of superimposing my perspective,
my way of looking things, where I you know, how

(22:14):
I come to terms. It's it's I find quite critical
actually if you are working with someone who is doing
a deep dive personally. Obviously, if I'm working with businesses
or I'm working with an organization, it's very different in
that respect. Then you are simply identifying what's going on
in their culture. For example, I did a large workshop
for an organization. It was actually financial service officers, State

(22:38):
financial service officers, and they said to me, well, you know,
can you do a talk on issues with communication, decision
making and communication right? And I said, well, of course
I can. I can do something more generalized, but why
don't you tell me where they're coming from, what are
their challenges, what is their sort of core culture about
what's going on with them? That way I can target

(22:59):
and what we're going to work with toward them, rather
than just superimpose the three of this, the seven of that,
the twelve that's that could be grossly generalized, maybe helpful
for some people, but not necessarily for many of those
who are having very specific challenges. And it really did
work well, I have to say, if I say so myself,

(23:20):
because I could see in the audience that kind of
aha moment where people are like, oh right, and then
they'd like be furiously writing down notes and taking into
account what that stimulated in terms of their thinking. And
that's really a lot of what I do is to
work with people to help them get into the best
of who they are, to stimulate what they can do

(23:41):
as a resource, because I'm not always going to be
there at their elbow and say, Okay, how are we
going through this decision strategy? Are you going to be
doing these steps? Are those steps you know that's not there?
That's not there in a day to day life. You
have to be able to internally honor and not only
not only develop, but really honor who you are, who
you're sensibility is about what your sensibility is about, and

(24:03):
how you're gonna take that forward in your decision strategy,
in your interactions, in your choices, in your engagements, in
your understanding of the larger world.

Speaker 5 (24:14):
Exactly, leadership is important. Mm hmm, that that isn't important.
Many people don't understand that, you know, having leadership, And
like I said at the beginning, we are known as
followers before we realize that we are leaders, and some
people just need that extra push. So exactly, exactly, exactly,

(24:34):
m you know what, we all have our challenges in
this world. And I know that I have some age,
you have some age, and it brings wisdom Okay, So
I know we all have a lot of challenges, and
you know we've been through, been around. Okay, we've been
around the block. Right, so I guess say we've been
around the block. You know, somebody young is probably like, oh, yeah,
they know it all. No, No, I've been there, done that,

(24:56):
and you don't know anything. You know, come on back
to my time, then, I know some right now, you
don't know anything. You're still wrong. Well maybe they don't.

Speaker 4 (25:03):
Maybe they know a little bit. Maybe they know a
little bit.

Speaker 5 (25:06):
You know what, When I was that age, I probably
thought I know a little but said a lot, But
I really didn't know. When I go back, I'm like,
I didn't know that. Yeah, I didn't know much. I
knew what I knew. Now then I will say.

Speaker 4 (25:18):
Okay, but oh yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 5 (25:19):
I did not know. I thought it was you know
it all? How's that? That's what it was. I thought
I was a know it all.

Speaker 4 (25:26):
But you know, I want to jump in for a
second because you've brought something up, very very important about
the kinds of decisions that we do make. You thought
you knew it all, and you were making these decisions
based on being so hot shot so to speak. And
the truth is that sometimes later on in life that
can bring us to regrets right when we are I'm
not saying for you, I'm just saying in general that

(25:47):
can Yeah, yeah, in general, because but the truth is,
you make the best decisions you can at the time,
and if that's an important lesson that you learn as
you move forward. If you could have made a better decision,
you would have, but you were dealing with what you thought,
you knew, what you thought, the context was, the situation.
It's tempting sometimes to think, oh, should I have gotten
involved in this relationship? Or should I have taken that job?

(26:09):
Now that I look back, I see I should. Well. Hindsight,
as they say, is twenty twenty and there's no point
beating yourself up over that. You take as you have
and as you've brought forward. So you want to talk
about inspiration, people such as yourself are very much an
inspiration to me. People who are bringing forward a lot
of possibility, a lot of context for others to be
able to explore and engage and develop for themselves. You know,

(26:33):
because when we made those decisions back then, we didn't
have all that any of us And now, as we've
moved forward, we have more we have sort of more arrows,
you know, in our quiver of arrows, right, and we
didn't have all of that, And so what we need
to do is kind of I want to say, forgive
ourselves for that in a sense, and take what we
can from it, and then move forward because because we'll

(26:55):
always be additionally informed, we'll meet more people. Well, you know,
like you bring all these guests to the four that
that provide more exposure for your audience. That's all part
of the ongoing education that people are getting in the
decision making that they're that they are engaging. Now, one
thing I want to throw out there about the decision
strategy paradigm that I particularly work with. I am very

(27:18):
very in favor of utilizing your subjectivity. Now, I know
that that's a very big topic. I'm not talking about
psychology as such. I'm not talking about because you know,
when I've had when I've consulted with individuals and it
appears that they could really benefit from talking to a psychologist,
I sort of find a gentle way to do that.
And I usually know that's happening because we're talking strategy

(27:39):
and very reasonable decisions and suddenly they're so confused and
can't see the way. Obviously there's something standing in the way.
And I'm not a psychologist. I do not take on
that role. That's one of my disclaimers on my website,
and it's a disclaimer in my work. But I do
identify and can understand when someone is stumped by You know,
we've already elaborated all the choices. You can see what

(27:59):
zabvis there, and yet there's either fear, some kind of
resistance that needs to be parsed out in a different
professional context. But sometimes it's valuable for it to emerge
in the contents of decision strategy. So that kind of
subjectivity I don't, I don't del then I'd rather, you know,
help move that along. In fact, I had one client

(28:19):
and she was in such distress about a lot of
the decisions she needed to make whether to leave her husband,
get a particular jobs, go back to school, et cetera,
et cetera. First thing I wanted to know is are
you in therapy? Do you have some kind of counseling
that you can rely upon, you know, somebody that you
can connect with. And she said, oh, yes, I do.
This is just the kind of nitty gritty stuff I
want to talk about, not the you know, back end story,

(28:39):
the deeper issues that underlife. She had somebody working on that.

Speaker 5 (28:43):
And that was like, well that that's because it's great,
you know what. And on that note, I just okay,
I just love that, you know what I mean. I
know you're a role and I love it.

Speaker 7 (28:53):
I love it.

Speaker 5 (28:54):
But we're going to take a brief commercial. We'll be
right back with the doctor Malika Klara show, Do Not
Go Nowhere, Fam. We'll be right back with the talent
and amazing attorney Debney Shaw. It was really hard for
me to do that movie sometimes because at that time,
because ten years ago is what I went through, it
wasn't then, So I had to take even they say

(29:15):
you play yourself, it's not really always easy to play yourself.
You have to play yourself ten years ago when your
mind was just combobulated and you felt betrayaled, you know
what I mean, You felt like, you know, life was
just not it and you know, not in my situation.
And it's based on true events and you know, unfortunately
it's about judicial deception, but it's also about romance and

(29:39):
drama and divorced it's something that just went to a
different way, but as I changed it and went into
a movie. But what's interesting about this situation people don't understand.
It's a flow technique for me. That was my release
to finish this movie. I'm a human being, but I'm
not perfect and I have my own flaws, but I'm

(30:00):
working in progress. And if you're trying to change something,
you're able to do it. You have the power, you
have the key to your own success. And with that
being said, I'm just glad that I'm able to do
this and share other people's testimonies. And I'm so glad
that there's many guests that I've already had on the
show that have expressed their you know, challenges or what

(30:23):
they've been going through or went through in their life.
And I say that it's because they're not perfect, so
it's good that they express that. Welcome back to Doctor
Blick and Clary Show. The Bolt of Brave TV Network

(30:44):
will come in live. We are still with the amazing
Attorney de Newt. Come on in here. Yes, yes, welcome back,
my dear, Welcome back. I know we went on a
brief commercial. You are on a role, but you know
what I wanted to say saying, I know, just get
into this. We all go through challenges, but have you
ever experienced a challenge that was so hard to get through?

(31:09):
And how did you do it? Because you know, my
platform is about positive psychology and people are looking at
you like you got it all made up? Girl, You
don't have no problems. That's not you. But that's not
true because you're a human being just like me. And
regardless how many prefets and suffix or accolades or whatever
we have on our names or you know what I mean,

(31:29):
it doesn't matter what's human being, we still don't have
those talents. So you have a challenge that you don't
mind share.

Speaker 4 (31:35):
I will I will share. I just want to jump
in here very quickly because as a decision strategist, when
I'm working through my company Sela Fontis, I do not
engage in any attorney work. Just what made me think
of this was in our previous segment we were talking
about some things and I threw out the fact that
psychology is you know, these are disclaimers on my site
and in my work. I don't engage in psychological counseling.

(31:57):
And in the context of what I'm talking about the
things that I'm bringing forward on decision strategy, using subjectivity,
using some of our internal systems to help our rational
and creative to move things forward. All of that is
it has nothing whatever to do with psychology or law.
If somebody is in a situation where they could benefit

(32:18):
from an attorney, then I actually refer on So let
me move to the question that you're asking about challenges.

Speaker 5 (32:24):
Thank you for sharing that.

Speaker 4 (32:26):
Yeah, breast cancer. How's that for a challenge. I went
through breast cancer, so that was a challenge. And I
was working doing contract negotiations for an airline during that time.
In fact, I had one scenario was I was at
the infusion center and I was on a telephone line
with the attorney who was sort of our overarching council

(32:48):
for transactional work at this particular airline. So he was
going to be play kind of bad cop, so to speak,
and I was going to be good cop. We're going
to be talking with another large company which was looking
for our services at the time, and he said, you know,
I'm feeling very uncomfortable. I said, why are you feeling uncomfortable?
I'm at the infusion center and he says, yes, I've

(33:08):
never been on a conference call with someone at an
infusion center. You can hear these little beats and things
in the background. But I just kept working. I kept going,
and I found actually a lot of support from folks
at work. Because I was living in San Francisco at
the time, there was really no family there. My brother
was you know, I have a brother, he was far away,

(33:29):
engaged with three children that he was, you know, raising
and having his own issues with. My mother was aged
and also not well, so she couldn't be out there.
So I was really pretty much on my own with it.
And as a matter of fact, I volunteered for an
MRI study while I was going through it. And one
day when I showed up for the updated MRI, because

(33:49):
they were trying to determine, you know, what was happening
with the tumor and was it disappearing in at what rate,
And there was a gentleman who came in with his
wife and she was virtually catatonic and he was answering
all the question. He had moved her from a different
HMO because he didn't feel that they were handling it properly.
And this was the UCSF in Northern California, which at
that time, I don't know where it stands now, but

(34:10):
it was the sixth best place to be for breast
cancer care. I just happened to be living in that
area and this was you know, they were within my
insurance and so forth. So he was taking care of everything.
And she turned to me and she said, you're so
strong and with such awe and I kind of thought
to myself, well, I have to be for myself. Who's

(34:32):
going to be there if I'm not going to do
it exact And it's fantastic when you have the external support.
But again this goes back to the strength of that
core core that you have developed. Well, that's your spiritual resources,
your religious resources, your psychological resources, your self trust. And
see that's another thing I talk about in my book
and try to support through my writing is the idea

(34:54):
of self trust, self awareness. And that's what I mean
by subjectivity, you know, knowing yourself, knowing how how you
need to get through what you need to get through.
For example, some people love the idea of people going, oh,
you poor thing, how are you doing for me? That's
very depressing. I did not find that helpful, which is
why I didn't tell a lot of people who are

(35:16):
at a distance from me, you know, because they couldn't
do anything besides keep asking me, you poor thing, how
are you doing? And this was not of any help
to me personally. Now someone else might love that approach
to a comfort or sympathy, but that was just not
useful to me. I just my attitude was, I'm in
this situation, this is where I've been placed at this

(35:36):
time through a variety. They thought I might have been exposed.
Actually there was no way to know, of course why
I got it. But I had no history of any kind.
It was not hormonally driven, so there was all there's
a speculation about what could have you know, I could
have been very my immune system might have gone down
due distress, and I could have picked something up on
that basis, it was unclear, entirely unclear. But the bottom

(35:57):
line was here I am, and from here I must
go forward. And tons of women find themselves in this situation,
and people who are not other people who are dealing
with cancer, who are not going necessarily through breast cancer.
It's still pretty tough. It took about two years. I
mean I had herceptin infusions in addition to chemo, and
that those continued after I finished the chemo and the

(36:17):
radiation and had the surgery and all that stuff, because
it was a type of cancer that was incredibly fast moving.
And in fact, even though I was only at stage two,
they said in six months, I could have been dead
if I hadn't done anything. They they didn't even tell
me till the end. In fact, after I had the surgery,
it was a it was labor day weekend and my doctor,

(36:39):
my surgeon, she called me and I could hear she's
in she's at the hospital because you can hear all
the background sounds of the hospital. She'd gotten my results from,
you know, from the surgery, and she said, we got
rid of a particularly ugly form of cancer and you
have your life back. And all I could think about
was when did it become a particularly ugly form of cancer.

(37:00):
Nobody told me this because they didn't want to discourage
me in terms of what I'd be going through. And luckily,
because it was a very fast type of cancer, I'd
learned that those tend to be responsive to the chemos.
I did two different kinds of chemos So some of
this will come up in my second book in the trilogy,
which will be about the Cowardly Lion, and that will
be about courage and risk taking and what those mean

(37:21):
in our lives, right, because we have to be courageous
in so many different ways. You don't have to go
through breast cancer. People raising children have to be courageous.
What tougher job in the world is there? I mean,
I don't care if you're a rocket scientist. There's nothing
tougher than trying to raise children and getting them into
the world as productive, happy, successful people. And then of

(37:42):
course they have to run with it. You can't live
their lives for them. But that is really it's tough stuff.
And so you know, this kind of reliance on our
internal resources, our internal strength, what we draw upon for that,
how we feel about ourselves moving forward, how we forgive ourselves,
how we applaud ourselves, how we engage ourselves, not just

(38:06):
the information that comes from the outside, because your whole life,
you're going to keep learning more things coming in from
the outside, and you take that in and you run
it through and then you make it your own to
whatever degree it's useful, and the rest you let go.
The rest you don't need it. You don't need it.
And the same way that, as you well know, you
let go of the past because you can't drag the

(38:27):
past into your life. You use it as a teaching
tool as you do in many instances through your work.
You use it in variety of ways. But what is
not useful to your personal now of living life you
have to let go. You have to let that go
because all it will be is dragging balls and chains
along with you.

Speaker 5 (38:46):
Well set, Thank you so much. Wow that was powerful.
And on that note, we will be taking a break commercial.
We'll be right back with the Doctor Malika Claire Show
on the Boat and Brave TV Network Don't Go and
Nowhere fam will be right back with the amazing attorney
Denu Debney Shah. I'm a human being, but I'm not

(39:06):
perfect and I have my own flaws, but I'm working
in progress. And if you're trying to change something, you're
able to do it. You have the power, you have
the key to your own success. And with that being said,
I'm just glad that I'm able to do this and
share other people's testimonies, and I'm so glad that there's

(39:27):
many guests that I've already had on the show that
have expressed their you know, challenges or what they've been
going through or went through in their life, and I
say that it's because they're not perfect. So it's good
that they express that. Oh, because you mentioned it said,
you know, I believe in God and I surrendered and
you know, when someone is addicted to something, it's a challenge,

(39:51):
it's it's tough. What was that moment that you said,
I can't do it anymore.

Speaker 8 (39:57):
Well, in book number two, I talk about how I've
been prison my prison number fifty eight nine nine thirty one.
I had that number for the rest of my life.
It's just not a functional number. I talk about how
I was delivered from a homosexual lifestyle. I talk about
how I had a man that left me for another man.
I talk about how I had a man that was
HIV but never told me. But I'm sitting here today,

(40:19):
I don't have as HIV and I have a lot
of people always say your immune system was so strong.

Speaker 5 (40:24):
No, that was the blood of Jesus that colored me.
Welcome back to the Doctor Melica Claire Show on the
Bolt and Brave TV network. But we're coming live. We
are still with the amazing attorney danut, come on, Attorney DANW.
Deafney Shah, Hi, welcome back. Well, thank you, you're welcome.

Speaker 4 (40:48):
I wanted to up here.

Speaker 5 (40:50):
Oh go ahead, go ahead, Oh okay, Well, you know
it's always a pleasure, but I know we run out
of time and stuff like that. I do want to
ask you, and wait before I asked you that, how
can people find you if they're looking for you? I
know you mentioned a book several times. Can I see
that book? Oh? Yes, indeed, all right, what's the title

(41:12):
of that book? How the Tin Men Found his Brain?

Speaker 4 (41:16):
Brain?

Speaker 5 (41:17):
Wow?

Speaker 4 (41:17):
One Attorney's Path for Perceptual Development. And it's a collection
of essays and commentaries and it talks about a lot
of different situations. There are a lot of stories. They're
very short chapters and a lot of different stories that
give examples. And I was just going to bring this
up when I kind of jumped in there at the
beginning and said, you don't have a point, because it
came to mind. You know, I've worked for when I

(41:39):
was going to law school, I worked for homeless Health
and Human Services organization putting together their quarterly report. So
I worked on skid row in Los Angeles for two years,
where you're literally walking over the bodies to get to work.
There were eight programs under the Umbrella organization there, and
I had to interview each of those on a monthly basis,
each of the heads of these different groups, right in

(42:02):
order to see what their recidivism was, what their success
rates were. Because we put this quarterly report together in
order to be able to get funding and to demonstrate
that there's been success in the efforts that have been made.
That very much informed my perspective when you talk about
where you draw from. I got to see how some
people could go forward, how some couldn't. What the you know,

(42:24):
what the impediments were, the emotional psychological impediments, the cultural impediments,
the societal impediments. And this is what the heads of
the different departments talked about. That's what That's what they
told me about. So that the story could be put
into the It was like a whole quarterly compilation, like
there were chapters under each one of these particular headings.

(42:46):
That was one thing plus As an attorney, while I
said that I do not practice law as in a
doing this decision strategy work, and I absolutely do not. However,
I spent five years working for Federal Bankruptcy Court, I
got to see how people's lives fell apart, how people
could or could not put it back together. Same thing
with businesses. I got to see all those Chapter elevens

(43:08):
that went through and those you know, thirteens and huge
cases where sometimes they did reorganize, sometimes they didn't, and
a lot of decision strategy was involved. In some cases
they just thought, oh, well to sell off some of
these things, will drop some of that well cut will slice.

Speaker 6 (43:22):
Know.

Speaker 4 (43:22):
The companies that succeeded the best looked more deeply at
what their challenges were to begin with, like what brought
us to this? Was it just we took on too
much or we you know, we you know, did that
did some financial decision making that was not sound because
sometimes there were other issues. There were issues with staffing,
there was issues with productivity, there was issues with engagement.

(43:45):
And only those companies that really took a much deeper
again more if you want to talk about business subjectivity,
a much deeper look at what the underlying problems were
in addition to potential financial you know, revisioning. These were
these were the people who you know, the be people,
These were the entities the companies that could move forward.

Speaker 5 (44:05):
Wow. Interesting, thank you for some of that up. I
mean that's really interesting, you know what. And I'll ask
you where we can find the book and purchase and
everything like that. But I do want to ask you
what do you do for self? Care for yourself? Oh?

Speaker 4 (44:21):
I love well, I love. I love to read. Although
actually I'm still doing legal work. I still take on
contract work, so I'm doing too much. Reading is a
little bit challenging because I obviously I do a lot
of kind of analysis of data. I still do it
on a contract basis occasionally, you know, as it comes up.
But I love, you know, I love everything from movies
to walking to music. I love dancing, I love hiking.

(44:43):
I'm an engaged person. In fact, I love to get
off of the phone and off the computer as much
as I can to actually live life in and amongst people.
You know that that's enriching and that's engaging, and that's transfusing.
If you will, you know, what do you do to
care for yourself that ca that gives you, it brings,
it brings into your life. So yes, I love doing

(45:04):
all those things.

Speaker 5 (45:06):
Well, that's wonderful. And I mean, well, you do a lot.
So your self care is very important because if you
don't take care of yourself, you can't provide all these
wonderful services to anyone. And I think that's really important
that people understand you have to take care of you first.

(45:26):
Everything displays is great, but you first. Yes, what is
the thing that wakes you up?

Speaker 4 (45:32):
Like?

Speaker 5 (45:32):
You know, when I get up in the morning, before
I even get out that bed, I pray, you know, yeah,
think I'm thankful for giving me another day to be
able to do something. I don't give a long prayer
before I get out, and then I make up my
bed and all to do all that thing. I'm getting
ready for the day, and that makes me feel more
motivated to get up. Is this something that you do

(45:54):
that's like a ritual or something special?

Speaker 4 (45:58):
Gratitude to get up out of that bay, that's the same.
I mean, you do it, you know, in your own fashion,
and we can all do it in our own fashion.
But gratitude. I start the day with gratitude. I'm grateful
for what has been, I'm grateful for what we will
go forward with. I also set intentions after I do
that little process for myself. I set intentions for how wonderful.

(46:20):
The day will be all of the things that I
will engage and do, and then what ends up happening is,
you know, not everything goes exactly as you envisioned it
in the morning. I mean, there could be a flat tire,
they could be whatever. But I have often found, in fact,
I find that ninety maybe five percent of the time,
if not more, things that look like they're not good happening. Right,

(46:40):
something that's not great happening to you actually brings about
something else. You got a flat tire, but you met
somebody who showed up to help you change the tire. Yes,
now you haven't, right, you have an interaction with somebody,
So you stay open, you stay grateful. And that's what
I like to program early on in my day.

Speaker 5 (47:00):
Yes, oh, I love it. I love it, you know what, absolutely,
because you know, when we get up, we never know
what we're walking into. It could be a storm, it
could be whatever. But it's going to change your mood.
You know, it could change your mood towards a positive
or negative, you know what I mean. And you've got
to be ready to play. But you know what, it's
just some of those ritual things that I think it's

(47:22):
important for people to share because sharing is caring. And
I think that you know, like I said before, and
I'll keep on saying this, we are always followers before
we realize we're leaders, and some people need leadership. How
did you do it? So I can do what you did? Copycats?
But that's great because they have a tough time, you

(47:43):
know what I mean?

Speaker 9 (47:43):
Right?

Speaker 4 (47:43):
Well? See, yes, And I wanted to throw in that
for me, it's essential in that little short setup in
the morning. That morning ritual is to do that before
you get to the electronics, because I do always have
the phone nearby. It is tempting to just immediately rush
to this. You're still in at in that brain zone
right where your energy is working in a slightly different way.

(48:05):
You haven't fully come forward into the day yet, and
that's where the fertility lies. That's where your communication with
your sense of spirit, with your sense of God force,
with your sense of inner knowing, with your sense of
understanding what you have ahead of you. Maybe the day
has some challenging things ahead of you and you know
you're going to have to embark on that. That's where
you can set that in motion and move through the

(48:27):
day based on what you've.

Speaker 5 (48:29):
Said in motion wonderful, wonderful, well said, thank you so much.
And on that note, we're going to take a brief promotion.
We'll be right back with to doctor Malika clear show.
Don't go know if it will be right.

Speaker 1 (48:45):
It was an interesting moment for me at the time
because I really wasn't seeking someone or anyone, I should say.
I just hope if I did meet someone that they
would be a positive person to meet.

Speaker 2 (49:05):
Everything he would sing and doing is making me fall
in love with him.

Speaker 3 (49:22):
Fighting over custody a lot of people quit, but when
that's just how we got to be, but she keeps
on fighting ninety takes a lot of ya ya.

Speaker 4 (49:30):
How you like your part? The characters objection with any
of this, I say to you for fifteen thousand dollars.

Speaker 5 (49:43):
I would write to see myself.

Speaker 6 (49:45):
This is all about a child, a poor boy born
into a battle. You know what your lies like? Surprise,
a lot of surprise. Why you know what your lives?
And going some I gotta surprise money, no dog, y'all,

(50:07):
pay no jock.

Speaker 5 (50:11):
You're trying to have a judge removed.

Speaker 3 (50:16):
I'll send you her for thousands of dollars.

Speaker 4 (50:18):
Four coming to court.

Speaker 6 (50:21):
How much money since the King as paying you your.

Speaker 3 (50:26):
Time's gonna survive, but God to survive. You know what,
your lies and going survived.

Speaker 6 (50:35):
Surprise your lies.

Speaker 5 (50:37):
Of Welcome back to the Doctor Milica Claire Show on

(50:59):
the Boat and Brave TV Network. Well come in live.
We are so amazing, Guff Attorney, the New Dimney Shaw.
Welcome back, my dear. You know what, it's always a pleasure.
Thank you so much. As being a guest on The
Doctor Maliki the show on the Volteberry TV network. It
was fun and it was fast. But you know what,

(51:19):
you have so much insight and I just want people
to know. How can they get in touch with you
on social media? Please mention all your social media's and
websites or emails or anything.

Speaker 4 (51:30):
That you write.

Speaker 5 (51:31):
I can get in touch with you. Right.

Speaker 4 (51:33):
I have a website which is www. And then Sela
Fontis right Selafontas dot com. I am on Instagram, Facebook
and LinkedIn on Instagram, I'm on under Cela Fontis on
Facebook It's d Debney Shaw and also you can find
me on the New Debney Shaw on LinkedIn. I'm going
to put up my card right here, hold on, let

(51:55):
me see if I can get it angled properly.

Speaker 5 (51:59):
Yeah there, yeah, okay, great, whoop.

Speaker 4 (52:04):
Yes, I think my hand is moving a little here,
but you can let me pull it back in. Okay.
So for those who that should give you an idea,
I'm hoping. I mean, my hand's not very steady here,
but there we go, there we go. All right, Okay.
People should have been able to get it, I think yeah, yeah,
I think so too.

Speaker 5 (52:24):
Yes, and they can play that. Uh you know, I'm
everywhere so they can play that and look at it again.
But yeah, and they can see it. Yeah, so they'd
be able to shop it around and you will be
able to too.

Speaker 4 (52:38):
Well. Thank you so much for having me on the show,
doctor Clarius.

Speaker 6 (52:42):
Oh so much.

Speaker 5 (52:42):
Enjoyed it.

Speaker 4 (52:43):
It's wonderful to be part of what you're doing here.
So it's been fun.

Speaker 5 (52:49):
Yes, I appreciate you. Thank you so much. Do you
have any quote that you want to leave them with?
Any's something that you live by, you know, I always
there's something that my dad lived by, never stop trying.

Speaker 4 (53:01):
So I always say that, well I never stopped trying.
I don't know what came to my mind was simply
always remember as you go through decision making. Forgive yourself.
It's very important to do that because because as we
accumulate the experiences, as you know, good, bad and otherwise,
in our own mind, often we trail that kind of

(53:24):
energy that's useless, that's pointless, that does not help us.
And we need to forgive ourselves and let go what
needs to be. Let go give to God what you
give to God, and move yourself, move yourself forward and
know that you have the power to do it. You
can do it, you will do it. It's in there
for you to do.

Speaker 5 (53:43):
Absolutely well said, thank you so much. I appreciate you.
Thank you for being a guest on a doctor Miluka
Claires show on The Bold and Brave TV Nework. Now
you and her attorney denwt Detney Shaw go ahead and
search and you can also google her too. Just let
you know, because I wanted to let everyone know I
googleed our show. If you didn't get the information or

(54:06):
the card is too small, you can google her and
you can check on the Doctor Milika Claary show. You
will find her. Thank you again, and if thanks are looking,
you're welcome, my dear, You're welcome. If you're looking for
the doctor Milika Clary. Then you can look at the goodness.
You can google me people, or look at doctor Milica
Clary dot com. That is my website, my Instagram, my Facebook,

(54:32):
social media, TikTok, LinkedIn X, I am Snapchat, I am available,
I'm around. You can email me and like I said,
you can find the email with the website, or you
could just google me because a lot of stuff come
up and I'm always there for you. So, like I said,
if I don't know the answer to help you, I

(54:54):
find people to help you. And if you're looking for
a therapist, you're looking for the counselors, collegists, We've an attorney.
I mean you know already. You know I have the
gift of knowing people that in the legal system because
I have a background in the legal system as well.
So if you're looking for these resources that I mentioned,
these resources in film filmmaking too, you know, I know

(55:16):
people who know things and everything like that, you can
get in touch with me. So not just that one
person that you know, it's just one shot. You can't
get asked me information about all this stuff. You can
you can ask me information. Now, like I said before,
I'm not a perfect tool. But if I don't know something,
I'm definitely gonna do my research to try to get

(55:37):
you that information or at least a contact, because why
why am I doing this? First of all, I believe
in sharing is caring. I don't know what you're gonna
do with information. You're asking for a reason, so evidently
you need some help. But what I can do is
not hover over the information. If I have a contact
or something that will help you live your best life,

(55:59):
then I'm gonna do just that. And I think that
is so important and I'm always gonna think that's important.
Like I so people, I'm pro boning, so no one's
paying me for that, you know, to give you this information.
And I think it's important for us to remember that
there's people that they didn't go to school.

Speaker 4 (56:17):
I did.

Speaker 5 (56:18):
I went to school, but I gained a knowledge and
also gained resources and networking and connections. You know why
I was doing that, and so therefore I've received a
lot of information, So why not share this information with you?
And I think it's so important for me to do that.
That's the gift I believe God gave me. Sharing's caring

(56:38):
and I will do that now, don't get me wrong.
I'm not allowing people to just walk over me and
stuff like that. No, I just think that it makes
you feel better if I can give you information to
help you live your life better. Now I make and
change your information. I mean change your life in some
way of another. I can't do your life because we

(56:58):
all got only one. I can't make you do something,
and I can't make you utilize information that I gave you.
That's your decision, and you always remember that is only
your decision. But I can influence you to do better
and I can be a tool or helping toul for
you to live better. So with that being said, dam

(57:22):
like I said, you can find me and thank you
again for tuning in to the Doctor Malika Cleary Show
on Bold and Brave TV network. If no one has
said this to you, I love you and I want
you to have a wonderful day the rest of the
day and the weekend to come. Try not distress people.
Try not to I know some people want to stress

(57:43):
you out, but you know what, that's life, right, But
deal with it. But try to deal with a positive attitude.
Try not to let them get to you. You have
to pray about it, do what you got to do
in a positive way, because that's what's important. We can't
change people. People are going to have to change themselves,
you know, but you can. I hear you and I

(58:05):
see you because you're tuned in to me and my show.
So I'm gonna explain to you how you can do
things and make this world a better place for you.
How's that okay? So how can you make it better
for you? So thank you again, take care, I love
you all, and God.

Speaker 9 (58:23):
Bless you've been watching the Doctor Malika Clari Show, tune
in next week as Doctor Malika will help you shift
towards a better life. But this show doesn't stop there.
She'll provide helpful tips regarding surviving the entertainment industry and
the judicial system with practical information Thursday, two pm Eastern

(58:46):
here on the Bold Brave TV Network