November 28, 2023 • 55 mins
"The Eddie Cantor Show," a prominent fixture in the old-time radio era, was an American radio program featuring the talented Eddie Cantor. Known for his unique blend of humor, music, and storytelling, Cantor's show was a hit with audiences during its run. The format typically included a mix of comedic monologues, musical numbers, and skits, showcasing Cantor's versatility as an entertainer. He often interacted with various guests and supporting cast members, adding a dynamic and engaging element to the show.Eddie Cantor, a celebrated vaudeville performer, brought his distinctive voice and charismatic personality to the radio waves. His style was lively and often incorporated elements of his Jewish heritage, which resonated with a wide audience. The show also featured popular music of the time, with Cantor sometimes performing songs himself or featuring guest musicians.The program was known for its family-friendly content and was part of the golden age of radio, a period when radio was a primary source of entertainment for American households. The Eddie Cantor Show's mix of humor, music, and occasional commentary on current events made it a beloved program and a significant part of radio history.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:01):
This is the Tapton Sanborn Hour,directed by Rubenov, Darling, Eddie Tappers,
America's foremost comedian, Rubenov and hisviolin. Are you listening in,
(01:53):
folks, U? This is youldPal Lady Camper, just to call and
around for goodle's visit with you all. Screw yourself up an easy chair by
the girl fireplace, folk, andwe'll smoke a herring together. Tie a
(02:14):
line the mom keep shot high,shining on the wall. Ye, sorry
you added just a bit later,do you mind? Oh? Please leave
me along ame a the move,keep shine high, shine on the warm
(02:42):
just a minute. I'm afraid there'ssomething wrong here. You see. We
want to lead up to your enterancea bit more gradually. We want to
do a little building up for you, you know, sort of build up
a big entrance. See okay,so go on buildings. Say in these
times I should stop somebody from buildingsA line up moon deep shine shine.
(03:08):
Wait a minute, say, ohfor good mistakes, I'll just killed I'm
on the wrong program. Oh that'sall right, Eddie. We all make
our little mistake. That's why wehave an election every four year. Exactly.
We'll get along with that. Constructionwork. Now, if you don't
mind, Rubinov will take care ofbuilding up for Canter with an overturn medley
of Eddie songs from Whoopee, Hit, Boots and the Folly. He calls
(03:30):
the number Eddie Canter, Memory andthe things can't and can remember? Would
you be surprised? Are you listeningto? Are you listening to? Mister
golda Tott special set to attatattet?As you know, ladies and gentlemen,
(09:07):
our mister Canter is not only Americansfirst comedian, he is also a literary
celebrity and a rising statesman to boot, a statesman to boot. There's an
idea? Yeah, I thought you'dget a kick out of that one.
Eddie's way, Wait a minute,who's the comedian here? As I was
saying, ladies and gentlemen, ourmister Catter is a brilliant statesman as well
as a comedian. The Catter fiveyear plans for removing the well known depression,
(09:28):
as outlined in Eddie's new book YouWho's Prosperity, has been hailed by
right thinking citizens everywhere as pretty darnmystic. Already the word goes round?
What about Cater? At nineteen thirtytwo. In fact, ladies and gentlemen,
cater and prosperity are just around thecorner. Only Eddie has arrived first,
and so we give you for President, the Honorable mister Eddie Canter.
(09:56):
Ladies and gentlemen, My hat isin the ring. My hat is in
the ring, and my overcoat isin a hot thanks to citizens. Thank
you. After all, is itso strange that I should be president?
Haven't we had funny fellows in officebefore? While we've still gone them.
(10:22):
There's only one trouble. Maybe Icouldn't be president on account of my connection
with Flow Zixtell and Sam Goldwyn.You know, Flow and Sam are now
right in the middle of a bigfight over my services this winter. Vicktel
wants me to work for Goldswan,and Goldwyn wants me to work for Vicktel,
the elect candor president, and they'llboth win. Anyhow, it's time
(10:43):
something was done about this here.Now, what is it they call it?
Oh? Yes, about this depression. It's terrible, you know,
things are so bad. My friendGraoucho Mark tells me that on the Boston
Commons, the pigeons are now feedingthe people, posts are not spending everything
is cheap, but nobody is buying, even those who don't intend to pay
(11:07):
on buying. Everybody is saving upfor a rainy day. If they only
knew it. It's pouring pitchforks rightnow. Still, don't despair. Remember
the proverbs, when the wolf isat the door, look for the silver
linings, elect canter, and thewolf will die laughing. In my own
case, the depression brought a strangeresults. Before the crash, I had
(11:31):
a million dollars, a house,three cars, and four daughters. Now
all I've got left is five daughters. Others have cut down on everything.
I know families who own the facesand belong to fashionable golf crops. Now
they live in caves, and tokeep up appearances, they play miniature golf
with tapioca and toothpicks at the summerresults. This year millions of Mosquitos died
(11:56):
of hunger. They couldn't find anypeople worth writing. And I know some
gigelows, not intimately, who'd beenreduced to dancing with each other. In
the spring of nineteen twenty nine,my broke's wife wandered as talking birds,
and I sent her a parate.The crash made her a widow, and
(12:16):
I went to see her. Howdid you like the parrot, I asked
her. It had a wonderful senseof humor, she said, but the
meat were so tough. Still,the depression has done some good to stopped
the farmers from crying for relief.They got tightened when they saw how the
city folks were relieved, and howthings have changed. Those stop guilts are
(12:39):
now taken seriously and put into practice. Armenia has put up an imitation barrier
to seep out the sarving Americans.And nowadays we look forward eagerly to Rockefeller's
dimes. But he called back thedimes he gave away last year, both
of them. We found out whatoff of is they meant when he said
you can't fill this country short.He meant, if you sell it any
(13:03):
shorter, the Indians will buy abag. We found out what no one
meant when he said the country ison the polaric foundation. It has to
be. It hit rock bottom,so there's only one thing left to do.
The let's cant cant sing song?After all? Can hoover or loose
even swing and citizens will imagine comagewith a megaphone where you can see for
(13:30):
my first song. Tonight, ladiesand gentlemen, I'm going to play safe.
I'm going to sing my baby justcares for me from Whoopies with all
your I'm so happy since the daySalla fell in love in a great big
(13:56):
way. Tampa Bick surprise that someoneloves me too, gets a part for
you to see just what anyone couldsee and me sput it on. Me
goes to pooon what love can do. My baby don't care for show.
My baby don't care for clothes.My baby just care for me. My
(14:22):
baby don't care for for than lady. My baby don't care a fall high
tone placer. My baby don't carefor rings or rather expensive things. She's
sent able asking my baby don't care. No, my baby does care for
(14:46):
me. My baby's no Coleman's fan. Clar Gable is not her man.
My baby just cares for me.My baby don't care for Lawrence Hibberts.
She'd rather have me all around toGibbert Bard Rogers is not her style.
(15:11):
And even Chevalier smile if something thathe can see. I wonder what's wrong
with the baby. My baby tirsfor me. Yeah, yes, here
we are. This is the shastySandborn. Now, ladies and gentlemen,
(15:35):
with Rubenov, grubenovs violins, tenother fiddles, three saxophones, one French
horns, two thumb bones, onebased suba, two pianos, two of
the cutest timpanies. And Eddie Candein the ordinary tand is speaking. These
are Kansas speak you here shattering.Rubenov is next, and seriously, I'd
like to say right here it isindeed a pleasure to work on this program
(16:00):
with a really great violin office likeRubenoph Rubenov isn't listening now, you know,
I'm no fool. I have todo something. It's the Union.
What they could do to my music, my operations anyhow? We will now
hear that beautiful and familiarity, thehumors there Irving Berlino or it Roll or
(16:21):
Donaldson anyhow, it's all yours backback okay on t M. Beautiful beautiful
(20:45):
Rubenov. And would you believe it, ladies and gentlemen up on Lara Herds
yesterday I thought Numerous was written byFanny Hurst Sow broadening this radio work.
And what a hot violin is thatRubenov? What what awaits? You say?
Look look is a comedian, Hugh, He says, it's not the
(21:07):
it's a hum and they hang kickedyou. Another thing, ladies and gentlemen,
(24:07):
Another thing, the elect cant ofpresidents. And I will get a
law passed making it a special offenseto wrap lump sugar in tight paper jackets.
I thank you, And speaking ofsugar, what this company needs is
more dunking of donuts and coffee.The science of dunkings should be taught in
(24:29):
our public schools. Three dunking clinicsshould be established in all large cities.
Prizes should be awarded annually to thebest dunker. Why dunking? Look?
Did you ever see a fellow dunkinga donut and coffee that he didn't look
happy? Of course, now yourdunker is a happy man. He is
happy because he dunk, and hedunk because he is happy. When we
(24:52):
see a nation of dunker, thedepression will be over. And look at
all the coffee that will be sold. Are you listening to the sanborn positively,
mister kay as I was saying,dunking is an old custom. The
first dunker was Sailoh's daughter. Shedunked Moses twice, and the River Niles.
Of course, we have had otherimportant dunkers since then. Take Captain
(25:17):
Kidd for instance, when he's dunka man, that man stay dunk.
Today is different. The rules ofdunking are laid down in every book of
etiquette. Emily Post says, youmust never dunk above the knuckles. Some
people are reaching for hours in ajar, dunk up to the elbow.
That's not dunking, that's bathing.And the best dunker's never bathed. Believe
(25:41):
me, I know some of mybest friends are dunkers. Why dunking is
such a great art? Why peoplehave named their children after named their children
after sure? Did you ever hearof the Duncan sisters and dun kyote?
Oh? Well, after all,let it go? You'll the dunking songs
from the student prim Well, listento this. Ay. Everybody has a
(26:18):
complex for a certain things. Somelike bees, some like trees, some
like birds. That things. Ihave a complex for my own that no
one's had before. There is justone thing on earth that I keep crying
for. Oh, I don't care, but out for tennis. Don't like
parents, don't like tennis. Ilove potato pancakes. You can have those
(26:45):
red hot mammas with or without beefpajamas. I'll take potato pancakes. I
was pin for feeding in my brandwho rose Royce, But Judge was very
nice to me. He gave memy choice. He up to knee and
loudly hollers twenty names or twenty dollars. I suff potato pancakes while the light
(27:11):
burns into Seaple or Revere tried wastingpeople. I've got tootato a pancakes.
You know that Pattick Henry should I'vereckoned liberty or death? Come second?
Give me potato a pancakes and anotherthing. Oh they believe him, say
now that's terrible mass When as deadas er he made that famous to dress,
(27:37):
he said, by the people,for the people of the people.
Who wants people? I want potatopancakes. Hollywood means nothing to me.
If I'm wrong, go on andsee me. I love potato pancakes.
Movie queen to try to court meteven offered to support me. But I
(28:00):
want potato pancakes. One day,Marley and Dietrich called me your fam the
phone. I went to her houseand she was there all alone. She
said, sweetheart, I'll never leaveyou anything you want I give you?
So why cook potato pancakes? Thechase of Sanborn? Our ladies and gentlemen
(28:26):
with Rubenov handicap by Candor. Ihope you're enjoying it? Did I hear
a gentleman in Columbus, Ohio state? Queen? Come? Come now,
let's have cooperation here. Let's giveCandor a chance. After all of mister
Stanborne is satisfied, should you complain? All, Eddie, you're in a
(33:54):
position to help your company out ofthe ship. Want to tell of something
of your plans? M I've workedout a plan to yank prosperity around that
corner. I have a five yearplan with Russian dressing, a ten year
endowment plan, and one hundred paymentlife. Now, of course, I
could say to you, if youwanna know about Canadas plans, go buy
(34:15):
kandas book. But I wouldn't dothat. After all, what would Chasen
Sanborn think? We are selling coffeetonight? Much? Book? So I
wouldn't say to you that you canget Kandad's book for a dollar anyhow,
who's got a dollar? No,I wouldn't say things like that. I'm
too big hearted. I'll tell youabout my plans free. I have lots
of plans, but the first oneI would fly if elected is my great
(34:37):
doubling system. I'm surprised nobody hasthought of it before. How can we
put more people to work right away? Here is the answer. Why should
there be only nine men on abaseball team? Put eighteen on each side,
and the double employment. And whyonly a football eleven? We could
have sixty men on the team andone hundred and twenty piled on. Want
(34:59):
another one a simmer do? Itwould add for the complete games? Above
all, that is more wasteful thanto have one jockey on a horse.
The smallest person carry two jockeys,and some horses loose so far back they
can hold four two cow Things wouldimprove at once. If judges went in
pairs and watched each other, theentire depression could be cured overnight. All
(35:22):
you need to do is to doubleup. You can go wrong on this
Canta program. Two chauffeurs in eachcar, two plumbers for each leak,
two captains on each ship, andtwo presidents for each term. And now
canter things again? Who's going toprevent him? Eddie, you're in a
position to help the sentry out ofthe skiff party, or to tell us
(35:44):
something of your plan. You mean, I've worked out a plan for Yank
Pross thirty Around that corner, Ihave a five year plan with Russian dressing,
a ten year endowment plan and onehundred payment life. Now, of
course I could say to you wantto know about candas plans, go buy
Kanda's books. But I wouldn't dothat. After all, what would Chasen
(36:06):
Sanborn think? We are selling coffeetonight much book? So I wouldn't say
to you that you can get Candad'sbook for a dollar anyhow, who's got
a dollar? No, I wouldn'tsay things like that. I'm too big
hearted. I'll tell you about myplans free. I have lots of plans,
but the first one I would tryif elected is my great doubling system.
I'm surprised nobody's thought it as awhore. How can we put more
(36:30):
people to work right away? Hereis the answer. Why should there be
only nine men on a baseball team? Put eighteen on each side and the
double employment, and why only afootball eleven? We could have sixty men
on the team and one hundred andtwenty filed. I want another in the
symetry. It would add for thecontinual games. Above all that is more
(36:51):
wasteful than to have one jockey ona horse, the smallest horse, and
carry two jockeys, and some horsesroots so far back they can hold four
two cow Things would improve at once. If judges went in pairs and watched
each other, the entire depression couldbe cured overnight. All you need to
do is to double up. Youcan go along on this Canna program.
(37:13):
Two chauffeurs in each car, twoflummers for each leak, two captains on
each ship, and two presidents foreach term. And now cantor things again,
who's going to prevent him? Someboth need atmosphere, and they're making
(37:43):
love, They say, Old motherNature, make love land. I've got
my own idea attaining to love.If you're a Romio, you'll undersand it
isn't the paddle, It's not theto you. It isn't the river,
(38:04):
the sky that are blue. Itisn't the love dream that brings joy to
you. It's the girl. It'sthe girl. It isn't the brooklet that
you want. The tub, Itisn't the mountain, the flowers are dew.
It isn't the loveness that brings loveto you. It's a girl.
(38:30):
It's a girl, even though aretimes you often die them. What a
only world would be with all them. It isn't the song bird, the
song that's ay sing. It isn'tthe sunshine that makes you like drings.
(38:51):
For what is this magic that makeslove the thing? It's the girl.
It's the girl. It isn't themoonbeam of heavenly blue. It isn't the
fall light makes you bill and cool. It isn't the shadows encouraging you.
(39:13):
It's the girl. Oh, thatgirl. It isn't the wild wood that
makes the cat raise. It isn'tthe darkness that makes you so brave,
And it's not your conscience that makesyou behave it's that GUYO. It's that
guy O. On the way homefor some lunch. You take her to
(39:40):
a little bite. You gladly sayher you think it will cost you six
fifth at the most, because shesaid, now, honey, I'll lord
it your some tea and some toasts. Who starts with true salads and ends
up with a roast. It's thegirl. God love us. And there
(40:02):
you are girls so much for thewoman's votes. Mister Rubinov and his Brooklyn
Yankees will now give us enlive James, now gather here. You're going to
(41:15):
hear the infections of the lamp heremore than mine will fall in mine and
playing I'll give them a hand first. The thing too many to give each
name. You know, a violinsand things. I hear you, man
of Thames. And now three ofthe sanctions are ready to go, So
(41:44):
we'll just wait and see our Larry, Henry and Mittle Joel can get along
without the fourth. That's me firstcompany, second, first tom Boy,
(42:06):
You'll never hear anything to beat thatrants quality, rhythm, well displaying past.
Now I'm never a time for everything. Sol Pasamoni Jumplin asks them to
think, we go now from theridiculous. That's means we go from the
(42:57):
ridiculous to hubernot the case is born. Conductor plays mathonase elegies what a man
that Rubenos, what a man andwhat an energy? This is still the
(47:55):
chasing sam Born hour. Ladies andGentlemen, directed by Rubenov and explained by
Candor Rubenov and his Russian Wolves renderNini the Mocha in the Eddie, you
(50:45):
know one way to be elected issuemake commenting for the mother Nothing Oh Ruby,
(53:21):
that was sell. Next week,ladies and gentlemen, let's all get
together for another swell Rubenop program,interrupted constantly by Canada, who will be
wrapped in telephone to retain his pressure. Next week Eddie Canter will offer another
(54:06):
plank at his prosperity platform, thefamous banana plants both for counters and the
fold dinner pail full of potato pancakes. He'll announcer James Wallington. The title
(55:09):
Sanbone Hour has come here from theUndising studios in New York
This is the Tapton Sanborn Hour,directed by Rubenov, Darling, Eddie Tappers,
America's foremost comedian, Rubenov and hisviolin. Are you listening in,
(01:53):
folks, U? This is youldPal Lady Camper, just to call and
around for goodle's visit with you all. Screw yourself up an easy chair by
the girl fireplace, folk, andwe'll smoke a herring together. Tie a
(02:14):
line the mom keep shot high,shining on the wall. Ye, sorry
you added just a bit later,do you mind? Oh? Please leave
me along ame a the move,keep shine high, shine on the warm
(02:42):
just a minute. I'm afraid there'ssomething wrong here. You see. We
want to lead up to your enterancea bit more gradually. We want to
do a little building up for you, you know, sort of build up
a big entrance. See okay,so go on buildings. Say in these
times I should stop somebody from buildingsA line up moon deep shine shine.
(03:08):
Wait a minute, say, ohfor good mistakes, I'll just killed I'm
on the wrong program. Oh that'sall right, Eddie. We all make
our little mistake. That's why wehave an election every four year. Exactly.
We'll get along with that. Constructionwork. Now, if you don't
mind, Rubinov will take care ofbuilding up for Canter with an overturn medley
of Eddie songs from Whoopee, Hit, Boots and the Folly. He calls
(03:30):
the number Eddie Canter, Memory andthe things can't and can remember? Would
you be surprised? Are you listeningto? Are you listening to? Mister
golda Tott special set to attatattet?As you know, ladies and gentlemen,
(09:07):
our mister Canter is not only Americansfirst comedian, he is also a literary
celebrity and a rising statesman to boot, a statesman to boot. There's an
idea? Yeah, I thought you'dget a kick out of that one.
Eddie's way, Wait a minute,who's the comedian here? As I was
saying, ladies and gentlemen, ourmister Catter is a brilliant statesman as well
as a comedian. The Catter fiveyear plans for removing the well known depression,
(09:28):
as outlined in Eddie's new book YouWho's Prosperity, has been hailed by
right thinking citizens everywhere as pretty darnmystic. Already the word goes round?
What about Cater? At nineteen thirtytwo. In fact, ladies and gentlemen,
cater and prosperity are just around thecorner. Only Eddie has arrived first,
and so we give you for President, the Honorable mister Eddie Canter.
(09:56):
Ladies and gentlemen, My hat isin the ring. My hat is in
the ring, and my overcoat isin a hot thanks to citizens. Thank
you. After all, is itso strange that I should be president?
Haven't we had funny fellows in officebefore? While we've still gone them.
(10:22):
There's only one trouble. Maybe Icouldn't be president on account of my connection
with Flow Zixtell and Sam Goldwyn.You know, Flow and Sam are now
right in the middle of a bigfight over my services this winter. Vicktel
wants me to work for Goldswan,and Goldwyn wants me to work for Vicktel,
the elect candor president, and they'llboth win. Anyhow, it's time
(10:43):
something was done about this here.Now, what is it they call it?
Oh? Yes, about this depression. It's terrible, you know,
things are so bad. My friendGraoucho Mark tells me that on the Boston
Commons, the pigeons are now feedingthe people, posts are not spending everything
is cheap, but nobody is buying, even those who don't intend to pay
(11:07):
on buying. Everybody is saving upfor a rainy day. If they only
knew it. It's pouring pitchforks rightnow. Still, don't despair. Remember
the proverbs, when the wolf isat the door, look for the silver
linings, elect canter, and thewolf will die laughing. In my own
case, the depression brought a strangeresults. Before the crash, I had
(11:31):
a million dollars, a house,three cars, and four daughters. Now
all I've got left is five daughters. Others have cut down on everything.
I know families who own the facesand belong to fashionable golf crops. Now
they live in caves, and tokeep up appearances, they play miniature golf
with tapioca and toothpicks at the summerresults. This year millions of Mosquitos died
(11:56):
of hunger. They couldn't find anypeople worth writing. And I know some
gigelows, not intimately, who'd beenreduced to dancing with each other. In
the spring of nineteen twenty nine,my broke's wife wandered as talking birds,
and I sent her a parate.The crash made her a widow, and
(12:16):
I went to see her. Howdid you like the parrot, I asked
her. It had a wonderful senseof humor, she said, but the
meat were so tough. Still,the depression has done some good to stopped
the farmers from crying for relief.They got tightened when they saw how the
city folks were relieved, and howthings have changed. Those stop guilts are
(12:39):
now taken seriously and put into practice. Armenia has put up an imitation barrier
to seep out the sarving Americans.And nowadays we look forward eagerly to Rockefeller's
dimes. But he called back thedimes he gave away last year, both
of them. We found out whatoff of is they meant when he said
you can't fill this country short.He meant, if you sell it any
(13:03):
shorter, the Indians will buy abag. We found out what no one
meant when he said the country ison the polaric foundation. It has to
be. It hit rock bottom,so there's only one thing left to do.
The let's cant cant sing song?After all? Can hoover or loose
even swing and citizens will imagine comagewith a megaphone where you can see for
(13:30):
my first song. Tonight, ladiesand gentlemen, I'm going to play safe.
I'm going to sing my baby justcares for me from Whoopies with all
your I'm so happy since the daySalla fell in love in a great big
(13:56):
way. Tampa Bick surprise that someoneloves me too, gets a part for
you to see just what anyone couldsee and me sput it on. Me
goes to pooon what love can do. My baby don't care for show.
My baby don't care for clothes.My baby just care for me. My
(14:22):
baby don't care for for than lady. My baby don't care a fall high
tone placer. My baby don't carefor rings or rather expensive things. She's
sent able asking my baby don't care. No, my baby does care for
(14:46):
me. My baby's no Coleman's fan. Clar Gable is not her man.
My baby just cares for me.My baby don't care for Lawrence Hibberts.
She'd rather have me all around toGibbert Bard Rogers is not her style.
(15:11):
And even Chevalier smile if something thathe can see. I wonder what's wrong
with the baby. My baby tirsfor me. Yeah, yes, here
we are. This is the shastySandborn. Now, ladies and gentlemen,
(15:35):
with Rubenov, grubenovs violins, tenother fiddles, three saxophones, one French
horns, two thumb bones, onebased suba, two pianos, two of
the cutest timpanies. And Eddie Candein the ordinary tand is speaking. These
are Kansas speak you here shattering.Rubenov is next, and seriously, I'd
like to say right here it isindeed a pleasure to work on this program
(16:00):
with a really great violin office likeRubenoph Rubenov isn't listening now, you know,
I'm no fool. I have todo something. It's the Union.
What they could do to my music, my operations anyhow? We will now
hear that beautiful and familiarity, thehumors there Irving Berlino or it Roll or
(16:21):
Donaldson anyhow, it's all yours backback okay on t M. Beautiful beautiful
(20:45):
Rubenov. And would you believe it, ladies and gentlemen up on Lara Herds
yesterday I thought Numerous was written byFanny Hurst Sow broadening this radio work.
And what a hot violin is thatRubenov? What what awaits? You say?
Look look is a comedian, Hugh, He says, it's not the
(21:07):
it's a hum and they hang kickedyou. Another thing, ladies and gentlemen,
(24:07):
Another thing, the elect cant ofpresidents. And I will get a
law passed making it a special offenseto wrap lump sugar in tight paper jackets.
I thank you, And speaking ofsugar, what this company needs is
more dunking of donuts and coffee.The science of dunkings should be taught in
(24:29):
our public schools. Three dunking clinicsshould be established in all large cities.
Prizes should be awarded annually to thebest dunker. Why dunking? Look?
Did you ever see a fellow dunkinga donut and coffee that he didn't look
happy? Of course, now yourdunker is a happy man. He is
happy because he dunk, and hedunk because he is happy. When we
(24:52):
see a nation of dunker, thedepression will be over. And look at
all the coffee that will be sold. Are you listening to the sanborn positively,
mister kay as I was saying,dunking is an old custom. The
first dunker was Sailoh's daughter. Shedunked Moses twice, and the River Niles.
Of course, we have had otherimportant dunkers since then. Take Captain
(25:17):
Kidd for instance, when he's dunka man, that man stay dunk.
Today is different. The rules ofdunking are laid down in every book of
etiquette. Emily Post says, youmust never dunk above the knuckles. Some
people are reaching for hours in ajar, dunk up to the elbow.
That's not dunking, that's bathing.And the best dunker's never bathed. Believe
(25:41):
me, I know some of mybest friends are dunkers. Why dunking is
such a great art? Why peoplehave named their children after named their children
after sure? Did you ever hearof the Duncan sisters and dun kyote?
Oh? Well, after all,let it go? You'll the dunking songs
from the student prim Well, listento this. Ay. Everybody has a
(26:18):
complex for a certain things. Somelike bees, some like trees, some
like birds. That things. Ihave a complex for my own that no
one's had before. There is justone thing on earth that I keep crying
for. Oh, I don't care, but out for tennis. Don't like
parents, don't like tennis. Ilove potato pancakes. You can have those
(26:45):
red hot mammas with or without beefpajamas. I'll take potato pancakes. I
was pin for feeding in my brandwho rose Royce, But Judge was very
nice to me. He gave memy choice. He up to knee and
loudly hollers twenty names or twenty dollars. I suff potato pancakes while the light
(27:11):
burns into Seaple or Revere tried wastingpeople. I've got tootato a pancakes.
You know that Pattick Henry should I'vereckoned liberty or death? Come second?
Give me potato a pancakes and anotherthing. Oh they believe him, say
now that's terrible mass When as deadas er he made that famous to dress,
(27:37):
he said, by the people,for the people of the people.
Who wants people? I want potatopancakes. Hollywood means nothing to me.
If I'm wrong, go on andsee me. I love potato pancakes.
Movie queen to try to court meteven offered to support me. But I
(28:00):
want potato pancakes. One day,Marley and Dietrich called me your fam the
phone. I went to her houseand she was there all alone. She
said, sweetheart, I'll never leaveyou anything you want I give you?
So why cook potato pancakes? Thechase of Sanborn? Our ladies and gentlemen
(28:26):
with Rubenov handicap by Candor. Ihope you're enjoying it? Did I hear
a gentleman in Columbus, Ohio state? Queen? Come? Come now,
let's have cooperation here. Let's giveCandor a chance. After all of mister
Stanborne is satisfied, should you complain? All, Eddie, you're in a
(33:54):
position to help your company out ofthe ship. Want to tell of something
of your plans? M I've workedout a plan to yank prosperity around that
corner. I have a five yearplan with Russian dressing, a ten year
endowment plan, and one hundred paymentlife. Now, of course, I
could say to you, if youwanna know about Canadas plans, go buy
(34:15):
kandas book. But I wouldn't dothat. After all, what would Chasen
Sanborn think? We are selling coffeetonight? Much? Book? So I
wouldn't say to you that you canget Kandad's book for a dollar anyhow,
who's got a dollar? No,I wouldn't say things like that. I'm
too big hearted. I'll tell youabout my plans free. I have lots
of plans, but the first oneI would fly if elected is my great
(34:37):
doubling system. I'm surprised nobody hasthought of it before. How can we
put more people to work right away? Here is the answer. Why should
there be only nine men on abaseball team? Put eighteen on each side,
and the double employment. And whyonly a football eleven? We could
have sixty men on the team andone hundred and twenty piled on. Want
(34:59):
another one a simmer do? Itwould add for the complete games? Above
all, that is more wasteful thanto have one jockey on a horse.
The smallest person carry two jockeys,and some horses loose so far back they
can hold four two cow Things wouldimprove at once. If judges went in
pairs and watched each other, theentire depression could be cured overnight. All
(35:22):
you need to do is to doubleup. You can go wrong on this
Canta program. Two chauffeurs in eachcar, two plumbers for each leak,
two captains on each ship, andtwo presidents for each term. And now
canter things again? Who's going toprevent him? Eddie, you're in a
position to help the sentry out ofthe skiff party, or to tell us
(35:44):
something of your plan. You mean, I've worked out a plan for Yank
Pross thirty Around that corner, Ihave a five year plan with Russian dressing,
a ten year endowment plan and onehundred payment life. Now, of
course I could say to you wantto know about candas plans, go buy
Kanda's books. But I wouldn't dothat. After all, what would Chasen
(36:06):
Sanborn think? We are selling coffeetonight much book? So I wouldn't say
to you that you can get Candad'sbook for a dollar anyhow, who's got
a dollar? No, I wouldn'tsay things like that. I'm too big
hearted. I'll tell you about myplans free. I have lots of plans,
but the first one I would tryif elected is my great doubling system.
I'm surprised nobody's thought it as awhore. How can we put more
(36:30):
people to work right away? Hereis the answer. Why should there be
only nine men on a baseball team? Put eighteen on each side and the
double employment, and why only afootball eleven? We could have sixty men
on the team and one hundred andtwenty filed. I want another in the
symetry. It would add for thecontinual games. Above all that is more
(36:51):
wasteful than to have one jockey ona horse, the smallest horse, and
carry two jockeys, and some horsesroots so far back they can hold four
two cow Things would improve at once. If judges went in pairs and watched
each other, the entire depression couldbe cured overnight. All you need to
do is to double up. Youcan go along on this Canna program.
(37:13):
Two chauffeurs in each car, twoflummers for each leak, two captains on
each ship, and two presidents foreach term. And now cantor things again,
who's going to prevent him? Someboth need atmosphere, and they're making
(37:43):
love, They say, Old motherNature, make love land. I've got
my own idea attaining to love.If you're a Romio, you'll undersand it
isn't the paddle, It's not theto you. It isn't the river,
(38:04):
the sky that are blue. Itisn't the love dream that brings joy to
you. It's the girl. It'sthe girl. It isn't the brooklet that
you want. The tub, Itisn't the mountain, the flowers are dew.
It isn't the loveness that brings loveto you. It's a girl.
(38:30):
It's a girl, even though aretimes you often die them. What a
only world would be with all them. It isn't the song bird, the
song that's ay sing. It isn'tthe sunshine that makes you like drings.
(38:51):
For what is this magic that makeslove the thing? It's the girl.
It's the girl. It isn't themoonbeam of heavenly blue. It isn't the
fall light makes you bill and cool. It isn't the shadows encouraging you.
(39:13):
It's the girl. Oh, thatgirl. It isn't the wild wood that
makes the cat raise. It isn'tthe darkness that makes you so brave,
And it's not your conscience that makesyou behave it's that GUYO. It's that
guy O. On the way homefor some lunch. You take her to
(39:40):
a little bite. You gladly sayher you think it will cost you six
fifth at the most, because shesaid, now, honey, I'll lord
it your some tea and some toasts. Who starts with true salads and ends
up with a roast. It's thegirl. God love us. And there
(40:02):
you are girls so much for thewoman's votes. Mister Rubinov and his Brooklyn
Yankees will now give us enlive James, now gather here. You're going to
(41:15):
hear the infections of the lamp heremore than mine will fall in mine and
playing I'll give them a hand first. The thing too many to give each
name. You know, a violinsand things. I hear you, man
of Thames. And now three ofthe sanctions are ready to go, So
(41:44):
we'll just wait and see our Larry, Henry and Mittle Joel can get along
without the fourth. That's me firstcompany, second, first tom Boy,
(42:06):
You'll never hear anything to beat thatrants quality, rhythm, well displaying past.
Now I'm never a time for everything. Sol Pasamoni Jumplin asks them to
think, we go now from theridiculous. That's means we go from the
(42:57):
ridiculous to hubernot the case is born. Conductor plays mathonase elegies what a man
that Rubenos, what a man andwhat an energy? This is still the
(47:55):
chasing sam Born hour. Ladies andGentlemen, directed by Rubenov and explained by
Candor Rubenov and his Russian Wolves renderNini the Mocha in the Eddie, you
(50:45):
know one way to be elected issuemake commenting for the mother Nothing Oh Ruby,
(53:21):
that was sell. Next week,ladies and gentlemen, let's all get
together for another swell Rubenop program,interrupted constantly by Canada, who will be
wrapped in telephone to retain his pressure. Next week Eddie Canter will offer another
(54:06):
plank at his prosperity platform, thefamous banana plants both for counters and the
fold dinner pail full of potato pancakes. He'll announcer James Wallington. The title
(55:09):
Sanbone Hour has come here from theUndising studios in New York
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