Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Yes, yes, that's right.We do want satter, but to night
we can't have it. Good friendsof the air, I can tell to
announce with the deep feeling of theguests. But my friends and your friend
Eddie Canner is a president in theWaverley Hospital. Jim Me had to cancel
his ship. Yes, you're anEddie comes using in the hospital. Come
(00:24):
mo, Lassie, tell me aboutthe curious. Soon come the lasses.
I hope the coutn tall. Butmy friend Eddie is a real paper at
hut. He assists that he willtalk to you from the hospital. He
can talk. I'm sorry to hearthat time. Here we go buy the
most controls of the private ward ofEddie Cantor. Yes, hello, hello
(00:47):
ready, No, I don't wantthe mores. I want the hospital.
That's right to wrong. I'm gettingthe hospital out. Hello hello Eddie,
Hello, how are you so?What was your trouble? What was the
letter that has has cancers? Pas? I'm glad. I'm happy they can't
(01:12):
hear you. And I asked theforce to talk my cancers. My cancel.
I have that saying all your councils, Well, why about you having
done me? No I do Idid I'm telling you the siste and a
half this morning. No, no, no, I wouldn't base. I've
had been picked out at barns enough. My charncils were picking out today this
morning, nine o'clock. I've beenout tomorrow all there'll be out tomorrow and
(01:33):
I'm in a long time. Areyou that you've been off? Laughing human,
I've got a good mention to comeright over and suck them in the
there No, no, Eddie,that was a tomboy player. He's trying
out a new hat. Uh huh, Eddie, I able to sit up,
sho you they cut out my counselors, not not my beast. Well
(01:53):
tell me, Eddie, has yougot a good leg? Yeah? And
I was an induction. Oh holyadact. No, that's has for you.
I the tempo already, well,the tempers with the day man's associated,
but with the night names. Ihave receiver, no very a wordy
about its at house A litle purmy pays with hot concer. No,
(02:15):
no, Eddie, the intern,the doctor on the floor, the doctor
in the awards had a politician.Politician, Yeah, the redman same already,
I guess sick or not sick.So yadie. Did they give you
a local anesthetics local law? Hewas looking up for reason. He comes
to hun to hide that sir,this all day. That is a matter,
(02:38):
mister cancer doctor up road. Notwas my operational care. I have
only one trick. Fifty dollars fora visit to your residence. Ye wendy
dollars in my office, and tendollars for telephone. Council State says that
was just start to pass me onthe steam five dollars because that was just
(02:58):
not. You should do as you'retold and you'll get well. And besides,
make up your mind that you're welland you are well again. I've
gotta ask you walk through the operapast five hundred dollars, five hundred tunks,
make up your mind for pain andher wrappers. Don't talk. Save
your voice, please save your voice. So that's your job. Doctor.
(03:19):
You're gonna say, my voice,my patience is exhaust and if you pass
advancer, but tell me tell medoctor bas w my bray come back,
sill. Your voice will come backand make them back. Change. Though
you may be a base or asoprano prano, no wonder I do wanted
to cook and sent every Come onif this man is delirious. Hello,
(03:40):
Hello, this is Hillyadi is thedoctor guns and the talk chas. No
no, I want to talk towedding father nor missus Sada. I want
to talk to your husband. Eddie. You have the same that my brother
is change, but my nation isa story, Edie. I never want
(04:00):
to know you. You don't worrynobody. That's only temporary. You don't
want to come back to normal.Please rest and don't worry. Give me
I need something to use my nerves. I've got it, Eddie. It's
not music music foods even if savage. Yes, come on urban, I'll
put your rockster together and play ana beautiful food and melody. Come on,
you're gonna play something beautiful and asto give you everything. Go ahead,
(04:23):
you're gonnaugh Let me out of here. I assume that's Russia. Tellstand,
got just seen something in forget.Oh, you're right. The audience
(04:44):
will have set the song. ButI can't says one trip, but I'm
one of my records over there,and I never know the difference. Going
to ride on? Now you're lookingfor a funny day, I will look
first, siabuim so the poet betendsthat kind of you. Why the peuple
(05:08):
of electrifies when you're open, I'llrow row a lot about him the money.
You're the best smile on the boot. Many get up with a boom
revenue d the combat with the gun, and their coople do like the reserves.
(05:29):
I can go wrong if you rollout of bed with a time left
him in the four both the lieof the lad the frames. Why are
you singing him in the hour orthe vis bottling down the brains, appy
and rose with your honeymoon times aday with that comming, you find the
(05:50):
worth while you roll out of bedwith a mile, throw a lot about
in the monas. You're the bestsmile. I'm those new fami basically from
the lies and from the happiness ofthe ties. Need them to believe.
At the windows there's the one whosided you. Do thing I ride.
(06:14):
If you let out of that witha pound, have your happines with your
honey. You remember these your birthday. Let happy your honey you rather than
apply to surf around the rose whobos on a rolling of money, You're
the way roll around thee the fromthe coming. You're locking the frid You
(06:35):
you're not out of the wait alittle wa, wait, a lotta what's
(07:00):
what is got? And going onour program? Eddie, Eddie all rests
up at his hospital, right shirt, hot water bag at all? Eddie?
What are you doing here? You'retaking it awful change? Oh,
jimmy, I couldn't say this.I have that roup and I swinging.
I'll be glad when you're dead.You asked you. That's a fine shooting
none of these? Why did youplaying? Edgie doesn't leave you? And
(07:23):
there so I grewup an offensive himalready, But never mind forgetting your times
of operations. Certainly danks your boy, I would say so. But it's
not always hide you. Sometimes youthink they go again? You beteen your
hurried her? Yeah, what's Eddie? Can't tell you? I see you?
(07:45):
Where a terrible Who is this guy? Who are wait? Wait a
minute, what are you putting himself? I am living, not change ith
bad boy. Have you got anephew? You have some time to see
the last grupino lea lea. Ican't here sass spelling. You'll have to
stop sucks back my nephew like this. There is only two great whalennies.
(08:11):
Nita hellman at LEAs your ribana.Yeah, well that's right, and we'll
never meet your ruberna. And bythe way, I do a musician too.
I am a white chec m hm. I am the best roice teaching
in the way. What kind oftalk is that? The best? Ye?
(08:33):
What is that? I am alaw frol Teacher's lawful? I played?
You won't wait the moon? Yes, and place your outside the studio.
Wait a minute, eddie, waita minute. Yeah, maybe he
could traighten you up so you won'tbe down here. Jolly appra that's candling
dy for you. That's right,say mister Kikia. I had my conference
making out. I'm my friendship stages. By the time I will give you
this your word week walk ply threatenyou when you give mister canter breathing and
(08:58):
pressings. Yes, you know Ihave trouble with my breathing. Don't worry.
I'll stop that. Uh huh oh, here's rubeno sunk for all right.
I see the strap come throw yeah, well the six Rubno. Not
being garlic when you're here is yourfirst left You have the first lesson or
(09:22):
in your stomach, throw out yourpit, bring through your nose, and
see many many don't all that I'vegot down on one mean, I can
see many lap. If you'll reastento me, I can make you very
far. And I suppose I say, I'll never come back, and I
will be in the netro polity Michaeljoining somebody. I will do your sending,
(09:43):
ye will do my crow room,I will command, then you will
see. But I'm in the contrasta chasing Sambrough for five years, you
will not be holding problem. Yeah. Have you become a rallying in that
time? Why? Yes? Endswill come to deep night, big night.
You'd the polities of the need,the treaties will come to do the
(10:03):
room and the mad say the worlduse canting on the air again with chanty
Samber. You know the fun steams. You will learn enough you set me
here. Napis yes, and thefire yes. Never mind. You will
make you a race to sound likehow you preetly seeing reasonbly delivery deliver.
(10:26):
I'm probably blue to deliver the baby. O what are you doing? Godly?
Traumatics will to feel because you're fiftyanother vocals or the mice, he
said, easy, he wasted mynext you ver last seven fi. This
is how found up. I wouldn'tbe living up if I couldn't be camping,
(10:48):
if I couldn't be camp I said, they wouldn't be riven up.
That that's reminds me of mind youThat is that I'm here representing the world
of robing up. Yes, we'revery hungry about the way to talk about
our data. Yeah, he cannotgo No easy brings up peace you can.
(11:18):
He's a thief. You say,he's easy boy. He's on many
us and just time to your Hey, well wait a minute, wait a
minute, you're talking about him yourself. Yeah, I'm not alloy that you
knows better than me. Yes,then he was here up, what's what
happened? Then he was in lostyour head? He's so friends your horse
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Lorski. You well, how manyhorses can he feels maybe twenty thirty halsess
just nothing. He married three girlsand ran away from every one of them.
Bring in Russian and through in America. That makes fine such as a
male man, it's such a bousydo you miss? If I have I
had moved it my nephews agreement.I didn't know he's even rights my way.
(12:00):
Seven day we're not you sing andlet you said, give me comes
from why we were just talking aboutyou. I know I hide it every
while your said my beast uncle andmy best friends spending and knocking. Abby.
My my poise is what if yourcord he says something good about somebody,
don't say nothing at all? Right, this is having a great lesson.
(12:24):
If you can't do, don't knock. By the way, it was
up whether you last night? Lastnight I was home listening to the radio.
I listened to that fever player Benboy, that's what how was he?
Boy? He's terrible? But Iwas full of moon. The moon
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was full of miles, and Iwas still of joy and exu. So
I raised my hand. You raisethe rides. It was easy as they
please, area raise the bird upleof times, the sons of different end.
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But I raised my arm, raisedhermits. Then happy the man that
what you like the puddle? Wouldyou like a little of love the pas?
I like the puddle? How doyour things that I made? And
(13:33):
I was gonna house The house isfull of hood afse. You know we
gotta nurse the reason. Have Iraised my hand? Raise a ride?
Now we're raising a fair very Theguy was gonna move the moon was full
of miles, and I was stillaware an ecstasy. So I raise my
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hat, you raise her eyes.It was the as aby pres a Philip
birds the braisor fill of suns.The farm had laid this upend the lead.
But I raised my arm, youraise her list And now he belongs
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to me. Hi, don't aperomantic? Don't you run a kids a
little murder? He said, Causethat you romantic darling? What are we
raising her? And I look atmy view, might see a pill of
(14:41):
hers. But I'm as happy asa man candy that I raised my hands,
you raise her eyes, and wereraising a hammer. It's been a
(15:05):
long time coming. Let him both. Now two more days and repeal of
the eighteenth Amendments becomes affect that sellsthe repeal of the gangs. Oh no,
no, no, I'm afraid not. You will repeal the gangsters all
together. They'll be around, buta new territory. Let's see what we
can expect. You mean, whosay that you're a self defense whose name
is Lewis and I'm the danger tothe future. Oh you're going to make
(15:26):
that absolutely now. Look I'm standingin your doorway with two of my mobs.
Russy jakes and both tarts still handover there from will I talk to
to say, okay, if youmake con wrong move, let him happen.
Okay, all what's can I dofor you against? Iye a bulletized
never mind the press, hope you'resaying a social cars lets you're on a
(15:48):
business Lewis, Where have you beengetting your mark? Mollow? Well you
think you think? In lots ofplaces I've been not cut off the care
cup of gar wind on your buyingfrom, get the dukes, the must
women, on our marshmellow rackets,and we're gonna get him. Well you
see this is a good service andgood prices. And if I take the
cellar the minus he fails me.Am, I always showing you in the
lake and nobody obaid. Y'all comeon tell us? Have you been getting
(16:12):
your coat and of kisses from thedup? Yeah? Yeah, I have
his gifted the taste I pay thea Well you take our kissers or nothing?
I can all the girls come backflaws acquired of your sister another fan?
Where did you get your marbles?And Jack? Why? Why I
don't tell me? We know thatthat age the month of selling me well
you get them and take all hismarbles away. Come on, Solardi,
(16:33):
I wasn't full with age the month. If I were you, we delivered
a load of apple Donna sixty lastweek and he's you're carrying off a lot
of any Well, let me tellyou something. I got a bicycle waiting
with his house right now. He'splayed us for a ride. Onyone,
just soulardize, I'm gonna I'm aless spotful adized if I buy for you
even to do so get me.If I python them, you'll get me
what like you needs protective us there? Yeah, this is not Territoris.
(16:55):
Yeah, we were the fence wantsto boot the girls. These touches down
the huh yeah, and nobody mustlessgonna fans. I look out for a
talk. They come back to makea dia go can tie you put out
the city glow ros Ready, I'llcross the street loaded to the muddle.
You need got three to shoot thegay. I was afraid of that.
Give ready, give him the landof Sissy. S Oh look ver,
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oh pie, look hey down,looks at this some one's up again.
Give him another stake a look atthe house. Raven with the bean shooters
look up me, but ras hesup me last house. This is the
end I'll never feel, say Louisbefore I die, tell me you want
(17:49):
my sisters or not? Where itis? And is the early biggest gay
to be as bad as all thatgood Jamie. There's no telling how far
the peel will go. They're needingthe peel. Radio announcers and Jamadians no
(18:10):
more pulling jenise. I hear they'regoing to appeal Broadway timiss. Now there's
an idea, Yes, sir,what happened a fellow like Waller Winterlower?
You know all those fellers lead ananimal life, leading up the dirt and
others on the sun. You seemto be a peeper in the zoo.
Party of Leela is keeping of zoos. Oh sure, Winch's gonn become a
keeper in you? And can't youimagine USU's Monday morning reports for the parking
(18:30):
mission to listen, Yes, Tampenis wife, he plays miss life miserable
for him by eating Poenis of bed. You're romance betroen family to feel of
next tailor bear of cold seems Inever need her now, no matter how
you am addressed a leopard will notchange his back right compose. The elephants
are running around with nothing but theirfuck good I've seen them the main send
(18:51):
Sam Fox to the lease ticket everynight pass. Mister and Missus Heebra are
anticipating a blessed evank you. MissusZebra will present her hobby with a fourth
models left, ad and kid andoff to mister Wallace for the fe song
he dedicated to his wife, I'llbe loving you. Romissus Kangaroo was copping
(19:12):
mad because you were seen coming outof the hyena cage and a snow laughing
matter flank Smister and missus zack Rabbitsare renovating residents. She returned all his
littles, a staylon, a stallionfrom mister Stun for breaking up that party
last night. Everybody there was insans see but that Saturday. You know,
(19:34):
if you'll cut certainly go a longway according to your theory. You
know they might even it feel asock mark. Why not? You know
a stock roll sitsn't find another job? What for it? Well? For
instance, you know one thing,she should be a butler. Let's illustrator,
Jimmy, you're a wealthy man cominghome from the office. I am
a lector. Yeah well yeah haha, don't forget you already got that
(19:56):
metal prediction. I am I'm thebutler. To me, I'm the foremost
stock broker. I greet you areto go and say to eat me,
sir, rather now being palled outis the sir, Yes, I got
caught in that rainstorm. It's agood thing you gave me my rubbers this
morning, number thirty where Continental RubberSaty seven and three twelves, well Hives.
We're having a dinner party to night. Set the table for six food
(20:18):
and let me get either have thepearl handle, sin the further or the
steel shirt or I prefer the seal. Do you prefer success? Let me
just s. I want to seemore friendly Highs. You're generally mutter general
huffers. Take you two high andsin, I'll never see the fleetman.
I asked to come in to guidemy guests. Yes, that is the
police sifting that one stly palms acouple of dancer half feelings. I hope
(20:41):
the guests will arrive very soon.Highs. Here's the list. Send me
see the missus Lemington Rand seven.Listen to missus Surbanks Mass seven and a
half and the Going the Sea seventeenseventeen forty A fair day relevant to gains
to an arrow to an errol mindyou, I can't stand it. Turns
it a thirty one and a half. Among the guest hires will be my
(21:03):
sister from San Francisco's marry the boyto my faner Hm, I see arresting.
It is fan and Hi remind meof call along Whiston after a thirty
because I'm the race to see anice race announce a Hans surve the half
got of the door highs. Ibelieve the guest so love Oh yeah,
somebody you want to come in?I can announce you sister, Missus Jim
(21:26):
seven listen, Missus Fairbanks there sevenand a half and the day us team
thirty of them. I never heardthe firs see believe I must apologize for
my brother friendly. We will folkshave a costure before land. Thank you
though I never talked you. I'mnot drinking and missus ram I don't care
if any either say I see asafety of anood safety It's better just take
(21:48):
down that seating very well. NowI have some Bay Cognitivesoda I like thee
by Gobini and go to myself,I'm always said, just leaving three by
cobnate'soalidrated there thirty seven minute. Theday that we lived him has asly given.
There's plenty of things to enjoy,but Dad makes us jilous when he
(22:12):
stopped to tell us the funbody hadof a bell. Rose the wonderful day
ba bla bla lah sala la lala, the wonderful day when men were
brown derbies and things under best,and women were never considered well let unless
(22:33):
they were buffers and looked like mayweb Thase the wonderful day, Rose,
the wonderful day bla ba ba lahsala la la lah the wonderful day if
you met a girl at a party, or girl and then for the first
time you pay her a call,if you met her rive you got married
(22:56):
before Rose a wonderful day, Thosewonderful day Sala bla la lah, bala
la lahl bot wonderful day, thosethose melodramas the crowd that is you the
villain came out and your cases onyou to mada whatever and the horday to
(23:19):
you know, wonderful day, don'twonderful day sala la la lah sala la
la live both for wonderful days.What wonderful mothers those girls used to be.
They are beget mother. We allmust agree when they heard a dozen
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of my families world like wonderful daycollo the wonderful day bla bla blah blah
ba ba la lahlah gas was wonderfulday in summer. You see all the
(24:02):
ladies and gents when they were theirbaby shoo, they were a man.
Some men looked like armies, orgirls look like ten those the wonderful day,
Oh, the wonderful day, baala balla la la la broad the
wonderful day. They might have beenstandal and dustupin too, But how in
(24:26):
the world would they prove it wastoo when Winsor was too young to tell
one you thus that wonderful day.This ladies and gentleman's likes me as being
the most popular fang of the week. You'd betther loose you're there. You
(24:56):
don't know who you're girl? Actuallylike just you time lover, do not
the brother you re go Hanson thesuther. You wanna lose your death,
you wanna say away your mother Sather'sway, tell the How can you be
(25:17):
said to do the hard and fendsyou can't have not taken he is?
You wanna lose your death and winyour love. You don't stop then they
don't come back, don't come back. Run by gone. You wanna be
the broad you never real lone.I'm gone there him through her either.
(25:45):
No one else can you memoriter?No one else is a paradizer. You
wanna lose your guest. You're gonnalose your god. You wanna under girl
that like that two time lover notlove, you will come to go.
(26:07):
You gotta lose your gat You wanta fight of way, you gotta go
that way? Call your Russian?How can you su this and behind?
You can't have that pace man,You gotta lose your death and with your
(26:27):
you don't look back. They don'tcome back and come back and say God,
you gotta be the bribe never realline. I can't please my neither.
No one else is little writer.Someone else will hear thy nat lose
(26:52):
your gul You can't do this?What's man? Why you can't kill this?
It's all right for a radio audience, they can't see you, but
not hearing a studio in front ofa lot of people. You've acimate,
he addressed and nothing but lead whenI told him that human But they wouldn't
(27:15):
let me in without the league personally, not poss They wouldn't let you in
without the leaves. You know that'sall right in the mudist colony. Wait,
wait a minute, I am aNewton, Why a ready of all
people? Why did you become anewtist? Well, i'll tell you to
me, I lost my hat inthe less on, my suit and clk
my underwear in the laundry, myshake and the marketing you meet, those
(27:36):
are the bare pats. Well letme you know, I can tell you
right now that I'm a post toyou this. I like it. It's
just a fan that everybody connected withit should be its soul. It's so
the only thing they're covered by nowis in should. And I still say
that's pose to a human being arethe same as a body to an automobile.
It's the same. Huh. Absolutely? How would I look walking around
the self and there's a bumper anda tale eye? How do you like
that? And I can see yourselfsense? Now? Use you know he's
(28:00):
I mean, one good argument infavor of nudism, and I'll give it
a trial. Why we want tobe right, Jimmy, you loses have
millions of follow off, I listen, not to millions? Yeah, Ahmed,
this no come would need Jimmy,and I'll show you. I'll take
it to me to talk. Allright. Ver, we've been ready for
(28:25):
an hour. How much further isit to the Judish colon. It's right
here, Jimmy, here right infront of it. There we are that
you can't come in here with atire and that condition. What's the matter
with this car? I think I'lltell you, Jimmy, before you even
bring the car into the Utah colony. You have to stick the gears.
Oh, I see right. We'llhave to leave the car here and walk
in there. Now. Who isthis incident? This unbeliever? Why does
(28:47):
he not get his Raymond? Getthe clothes off? I mean, come
on, get the closer, Comeon, come on, Jimmy, Wait
a minute, hif here comes thetailor? Wait a tailor in a Judash
colony. Yeah, we all haveour leads. Make the order. Jimmy
Wis reminds you have a day tonight and I've gotta have my leaf press
you know, Eddie you have Ifeel terribly embarrassed. What do you mean
you feel embarrased? Running around withnothing with this leaf? Run? I
(29:11):
gotta have my leaf press what whatyou want to? Bad? And mine's
words and doesn't matter unless it don'tthe police ever bother you? Way,
Yeah, the police do? Theybothered us nothing to Why you know last
week this place looks like Raw Street? Looks like raw Street? What do
you mean? Well, the bullsraised the bears. But Eddie, he's
(29:32):
got he remember, Oh, he'sjust initiated in a Reportnity knows you mean,
he's just that's a laptove, allright, that's a laptove, all
right. M hm, Eddie shopyou know there's no hard takes the time,
(29:53):
take the time. It's for nothink. But I think you're right.
Why this sun is marble? Whois your son's bar? That son is
marvelous? I feel better already.You want to tell you this is a
great sun. Give me when Itend you a thing? So whoes depend
on a good house? I didn'thear what you said at it. I
didn't see the saying it a beetsunny right in the middle of my sentence.
(30:17):
Oh well, I'm gonna telling youso hard. And we the men
always expect those things. They're rightout of their fut be to rain.
I turned the rings off on myknees. Why don't be silly. Yet
it never rained out here? Youtell me yourself? And has the rain
here in six months? Yes?I know I can. Oh, my
head is Jimmy, I want tostand me. What you gonna do?
(30:41):
I don't worry about it. Dunninga sun's dollar, go roll under that
tree. Yeah, that's what I'mafraid of in the first place. I
don't know why you dragged me outhere again, like you out here?
You know, I could have beenhome in front of a nice and fire
and a set. I'm clamping therange trees of parry and looks to me,
what if it I'm afraid I'll leavethe live of the three. Oh
(31:06):
gim me. It's a good thing. It's a good thing. We're not
in the army, the court monstersso being applicants without leaves all all James,
I'll be glad when I get outof his plate right the way.
Thing about that somebody somebody throwing thecar, throw the car. Where we're
(31:26):
here? We are way out herein the country without their clothing all this
way? What do we do?Ready? What? I don't know?
Unless we do I know what youmean? You mean we'll have to use
that. I'm afraid. So,Jimmy, if I test pneumonia out here,
I have no idea what I'll testthe minder when I get high in
my rug got me in a twelvesix? Now what do we do?
(31:49):
I don't know, Jimmy. I'mso cold. I like a nice ago.
I'm raising the death. I gota idea. Listen to me.
You will tide me, and I'msad you and in that way we'll get
the bless of speculations a bird.Oh say that's a swell idea. Yea,
a swell idea, or you're marvelous. And then say, I feel
I didn't I see act to me, But I what wait a minute,
(32:12):
sat a little higher. I'm toldyou more than I'm place for there.
Stop? Why here's the pity?Hey, what's the idea? What do
you must take your door? So? I was just getting rare there because
you see I stop him, andwho gets them? And then he stops
me and I get them? Okay, Well you're warm now yes, that's
time, because I'm going to putyou in the coller. What officers to
(32:37):
see you that you don't know whowe are. I got a good idea
who you are. You're a coupleof actors looking for publicity. Where you're
getting see you mean while a MarvinYour names will be in the front pages
of every paper and the wait anyou mean I knew you get in the
papers running around you all on thecrow that's right, will be in the
headline. What job then big bym maxim me. I know you are
(33:01):
actors. I know it. Andyou you're little Fellow, that's your name,
f right man perpend BESI I've learnedto friend. I'm tell you to
(33:24):
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