August 6, 2025 • 50 mins
Lori Safford is a resilient widow from New Hampshire, dedicated to raising her children, who live with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. With unwavering strength, she balances caregiving, advocacy, and fostering hope for her family. Both Ben and Sam take part in her advocacy for the sanctity of all life.
Lori is an active member of her local community, supporting DMD awareness and research efforts to improve the lives of those affected by the condition. Her compassion and determination inspire those around her.
Thank you for watching The Ever-Living Podcast, a heartfelt space to share the stories and voices of women who champion a culture that values and protects life. Each episode we seek to empower, offering connection, hope, and strength through the journeys of those who work and pray for this cause. Crafted for women seeking purpose and community, we welcome you to join us in cherishing every single heartbeat.
NH Foster Care https://www.dhhs.nh.gov/programs-services/child-protection-juvenile-justice/foster-care
Joni and Friends ministries https://joniandfriends.org/
Two books edited by Lori about caring for those impacted by Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy:
Saving Our Sons and Daughters II by Misty Vanderweele https://www.amazon.com/Saving-Our-Sons-Daughters-II/dp/061558571X
Don’t Forget the Siblings Misty Vanderweele https://www.amazon.com/Dont-Forget-Siblings-Misty-Vanderweele/dp/0989324702
Lori is an active member of her local community, supporting DMD awareness and research efforts to improve the lives of those affected by the condition. Her compassion and determination inspire those around her.
Thank you for watching The Ever-Living Podcast, a heartfelt space to share the stories and voices of women who champion a culture that values and protects life. Each episode we seek to empower, offering connection, hope, and strength through the journeys of those who work and pray for this cause. Crafted for women seeking purpose and community, we welcome you to join us in cherishing every single heartbeat.
NH Foster Care https://www.dhhs.nh.gov/programs-services/child-protection-juvenile-justice/foster-care
Joni and Friends ministries https://joniandfriends.org/
Two books edited by Lori about caring for those impacted by Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy:
Saving Our Sons and Daughters II by Misty Vanderweele https://www.amazon.com/Saving-Our-Sons-Daughters-II/dp/061558571X
Don’t Forget the Siblings Misty Vanderweele https://www.amazon.com/Dont-Forget-Siblings-Misty-Vanderweele/dp/0989324702
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Welcome to Ever Living, a podcast about sharing the stories
and voices of those who work and pray to protect
life in New Hampshire and beyond. Welcome to the podcast.
Welcome Jason, Thanks Cindy, you're filling in for Jessica this week.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Yeah, I'm excited to be here.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Yeah. We're kind of a family, right Jason, Yeah, I
think we've met before. Yes, we're married. So do you
know any other cool families in New Hampshire.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Well, as a matter of fact, I do. There's a family,
the Staffords, who have been really active in pro life
for basically as long as I can remember. They show
up to all the hearings, they pray, they're just really
active trying to protect the innocent and protect their rights.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Awesome, I'd love I think our listeners would love a
chance to meet them today.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
I think so too.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Okay, let's everybody welcome. The Safford family today is Laurie,
Ben and Sam.
Speaker 3 (01:04):
Welcome, Thank you, thank you?
Speaker 1 (01:08):
All right, why don't you DoD you guys, introduce yourself,
tell us a little about yourselves and introduce yourself to
our audience.
Speaker 4 (01:16):
Sure, I'm Laurie Safford. We live in Pelham, New Hampshire.
I was raised in Massachusetts and moved to New Hampshire
in two thousand and oh no. Nineteen ninety five. Actually
Ben and Sam were born and we were living in Wyndham,
New Hampshire when our house was actually struck by lightning
(01:39):
and we were living in a hotel when Ben and
Sam were diagnosed with Dushene muscular dystrophe. So they were
four and six years old at the time. My husband
passed away in twenty and twelve. So I have a daughter.
Lydia is not here with us. She works in the
disability community. Though she's my youngest and then's my oldest
(02:03):
at twenty nine, and Sam is twenty seven, even though
everyone thinks he looks older because he has the beard.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
Yeah, in the green shirt and Sam can introduce himself.
Speaker 5 (02:16):
I'm Sam. I'm Sam Safford, a middle child, and I
do public speaking.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
Yep, great, great, So glad to have you on our
podcast today. Thanks for being here. Let's hear more. Can
you explain what is dushan muscular dystrophy for our listeners
who don't know much about it?
Speaker 4 (02:45):
Sure, most people don't know that there are about nine
different forms of muscular dystrophy, and dushan is the most
fatal childhood diagnosed muscular dist So it's an ex linked
genetic defect, and that means that the woman carries the
(03:06):
defective gene and it's usually passed from the mom. In
my case, there's a thing called spontaneous mutation, so my
mother did not carry the genetic defect. When I was conceived,
my DNA mutated, So I look at it as God
just touched my touched my embryo and gave us dushene
(03:32):
muscular dystrophy. So there was a fifty to fifty chance
that each one of my children would have dushen. We
did not know until Ben was six, Sam was four,
and Lydia was three, So I had three kids in
less than three years, so we were a very busy household.
(03:53):
So dushen is a progressive muscle wasting disease. So Ben
walked until he was eleven, no nine. Sam walked till
he was eleven. So it starts where they lose their
leg muscles and then lose their upper body functions. So
(04:13):
Ben and Sam can't feed themselves, scratch their nose, you know, toilet, shower,
dress themselves. They need pretty much help with all activities
of daily living. And because the heart and the lungs
are muscles, those are also affected so young men.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
About two years ago, I had a pneumonia episode to
put me in the hospital for eight days and it
was only through my mom's fighting advocacy that I made
it through that she was able to get a doctor
connected that was my specialist for lungs, and she was
even able to she actually had to fight the doctors
(04:56):
in a hospital to allow her to stay in my
room me when I went through that experience, and she
even ended up writing a letter to the hospital afterwards
after how terrible and how not life of farming experience was.
So as you can imagine, this is a disease that
totally takes over your life, but it hasn't broken us
(05:18):
or a spirit, and we don't see it as a
disability as many would. We see it as an opportunity
for a blessing that God can cause.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
Wow, it's an amazing perspective, so special.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Yeah, I love hearing I love hearing your your your
your attitude is one of grace and like, yeah, yeah,
I just I could I could see people becoming bitter
and I love to see that you're seeing the positive
and seeing how God has been working. Even even in
(05:55):
this this hospital episode, it sounds like God God prevailed
and the good things, good things happened.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
Yeah, with this hospital in New Hampshire. I don't know
if you want to give further details.
Speaker 4 (06:10):
Yeah, it was Lowell General. And like Ben said, our
doctors are all in Boston at Tuft's Medical Center, but
our pullmonologist was out of town. He was at a
conference in Texas when Ben landed at Lowell General. And
they're in the same Tought network. So the Lowell General
(06:32):
doctors can see all the pulmonology and cardiology notes from
the Boston hospital. So our pumonologist I have. How many
people have their doctor's cell phone numbers, I do, so
I was able to call him in Texas. He was
able to speak with the er doc and he essentially said,
(06:57):
if he you know, Ben needs an ICU room, and
if you don't put him in the ICU, he's not
going to survive. And so then spent eight days in
the ICU. And but anyway, like Ben said, it was
challenging and I didn't leave his side other than have
my daughter there because it just it was you know, Yeah,
(07:23):
it's it's hard.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
Do you know if there's a reason, like why wouldn't
they let you be in the room.
Speaker 4 (07:33):
So I think, yeah, it's complicated, but I I think
they don't really like you knowing what's going on twenty
four hours a day in the hospital with.
Speaker 3 (07:49):
Her sending them a letter and going through a whole thing.
But the unfortunate thing is, if it happens again, we're
probably going to be at Little General again because there's
really not a lot of places that are to be
able to deal with a wheelchair and vice versa.
Speaker 4 (08:04):
So I'll see that. Our pomonologist told the er doc
and in the ICU doctors that Ben needed twenty four
hour non invasive respiratory therapy, which means coffeist and BiPAP machine,
like twenty four hours a day. And so we ended
(08:26):
up in the ICU at about eleven o'clock, Yeah, eleven
o'clock at night, maybe ten thirty, and I called the
respiratory therapist. She came and said, I said, twenty four
hours we need to be doing coffeist and she said yep,
she said, you know, I'm going to be off at eleven,
but I'll send my coworker and we'll you know, she
(08:50):
left and we never saw anyone until like nine or
ten o'clock the next morning. So I did twenty four
hour respiratory.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
Our own machine, and we had to bring our machines
with us. They didn't have the machine on site. So yeah,
it was a whole experience, and we learned a lot
from that, more than we thought we needed to learn.
And I'd rather not learn it like that again. But
and let's just say we weren't exactly as gracious when
we went through that, but we learned a lot from better.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
It sounds like you were your your own advocates at
that hospital, but you're also active in advocacy in New
Hampshire for many people. And what what type of advocacy
have you all been active in and how did you
get started. We'd love to hear your experience about Yeah,
(09:44):
that's probl advocacy.
Speaker 4 (09:47):
So I would say that advocacy probably started when I
became a mother, but really started when Ben and Sam
were diagnosed with dushan. The two books that I have
edited and put together for Dushen muscular dystrophy families, So
I've always kind of advocated for families in the disability community.
(10:15):
And then one of the things that was really cool
is that Community Crossroads, which is our area agency in
New Hampshire that serves families with disabilities, children and adults.
They had a public policy course. It actually was a
whole year and we met monthly and we had a
(10:38):
list of activities that we had to do, including touring
the state House, testifying, emailing and meeting our state reps,
interviewing our state senator. We did all kinds of things.
So my daughter and I did that together back in
twenty twenty two and that really helped, I think, give
(11:02):
us a really good kind of understanding better how to advocate.
And that was for families with disabilities. But we took
that because life isn't really where our heart is just
protecting life from the womb to the tomb, and so
we've done every time that there has been an abortion
(11:26):
or an assistant suicide, Bill Ben Sam and Lydia and
I try to testify. So where.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
Yeah, can you can you just say a little bit
about like what's on your heart? I know assisted suicide
has been up for the past two years, it's probably
going to be brought up again, and can you just
say a little bit like your thoughts and how that
affects you.
Speaker 4 (11:52):
Yeah, why don't you go ahead?
Speaker 3 (11:54):
So for the assistant suicide, first of all, my perspective
in general with life, especially when people say, you know,
we have the right to have an abortion or we
have the right for assistant suicide. I've talked to many
people and told them that do you know that when
you say that without realizing it, you don't understand that
(12:16):
you're actually saying that my life has less worth. I know,
like when I say that to someone, they'll say, oh, no,
I would never say that a disabled because it's very
common for people to look at the disabled community as
an ally in a lot of ways to the liberal
view of advocating for abortion and race equity and things
(12:39):
like that. So when I tell them, it really opens
their eyes when I say that, when you claim that
this is a right to an abortion, your supportive abortion
actually jeopardizes the lives of disabled people like me who
are told by doctors in the womb that you're going
to have a child with a fatal illness. Doctors will
(13:00):
say to people I recommend an abortion, or even scarily
that doctors have even allowed for assistant suicide to the
patients who they say are in all this pain from
their challenges with disability or any other thing, and saying
that it's better for them not to live. And so
(13:20):
for me it's almost like an attack on my own
existence as a disabled person that has a good life.
I mean, I was blessed to have great parents who
wanted to keep us in the home and work hard
and to everything they needed so that we could be
in the zone and was born again Christians. We believe
that all life is sacred, from in the womb all
(13:43):
the way to the tomb and even after the great
because we believe this, this is not all there is.
We believe that there is a life hereafter. And for me,
assistant suicide and evolution shouldn't We should have a right
to life, not a right to death. That that's the
total opposite of why America was founded, in what the
(14:03):
whole point of liberty is. And so for us that
it's no question that it's just a suicide should be
another thing that we'll be advocates against. Personally, I don't
love going having to go to the state House every time.
It started for me when my mother said, then you
don't understand what an impact it would make for you
(14:24):
to go up to a committee and speak to them,
because a lot of times they could be on their phone,
or like when is this meeting going to end when
someone like me or Sam go up, or there's another
young man that goes up that as down center might believe.
And when we go up there, they everyone stops in
their tracks and says, like, wait a minute. These people
actually have great lives and they want they want to live,
(14:46):
they don't want to die. They believe that they have
a blessed life in that other people, if there was
ability for them to have whatever supports they need, could
have a great life too, and that realizing that life
has so much value, especially for us being made in
the image of God, as we believe that as Christians.
(15:07):
So that kind of fucked my is my perspective on
that particular issue.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
Wow, so Well said, yes, amazing.
Speaker 6 (15:16):
That that then when you're there, you you put a
face to an issue that maybe they never thought and
put anyone's face too, or that these like people, these
are real people's lives.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
That's that where that they're.
Speaker 7 (15:32):
Voting on and making decisions for so and actually I
think Sam could speak to that about one time you
went up there, and do you remember what you guys
decided to do when you went up there?
Speaker 3 (15:45):
Remember you want you to tell the story about the
machine you had. All yeah, I wore my five pat machine.
I wore my five pat machine. But I went up
there basically helps me.
Speaker 5 (16:01):
With breathing and gives me a helps me inhale and
exhale their so and I testify. So it was just
a good visual to show them. I don't want to say,
make it more dramatic, but m mommy, yeah, can you
tell them what toast Masters is? Can you explain a
(16:23):
little bit about what you do? And so I do public.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
Speaking, So I do to a.
Speaker 5 (16:28):
Toast Masters club, which is a public speaking organization that's
a nonprofit worldwide, and I, uh, that's uh. That makes
it easier for me to use use it for advocacy.
Speaker 4 (16:42):
So I do that.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
And yeah, so yeah, that part I guess. Yeah. So
Sam has been active in that for I don't know
what year you started, was a twenty seventeen is when
you started that, But Sam has been active in doing
that for a long time. And is that a lot
of opportunities to speak to high schools and many things
(17:06):
about his faith and going through his disability and so amazing.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
Yeah, just sharing what God has done in your life,
what he's doing, what he will do. And actually, Jason,
I we we we've been part of Postmasters a little
bit too.
Speaker 2 (17:21):
Right, Jason, you enjoy it tops, Yeah, as you should
come the Winning Speakers.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
That's the name of my club.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
Okay, yeah we should. Yeah, it'll be fun. So the
next question we have is about Johnny and Friends before,
can you explain what what Johnny and Friends is and
what your involvement is.
Speaker 4 (17:47):
Sure? Absolutely so. I first got introduced to Johnny and
Friends the year after Ben and Sam were diagnosed, and
I was really searching out another family with Duschen so
that I could, yeah, so that I could just have
somebody to relate to, because everyone I knew in my
(18:09):
world had typical children. Right. So the first family I met,
the Lafferty family in Nashua, New Hampshire. The first time
I called her on the phone and I was weeping
and I could hear her sons that were ten years
older than Ben and Sam. I could hear them in
the background laughing, and I thought, Okay, life is not over.
(18:35):
It's going to be different, but it's not over. And
she told me about Johnny and Friends and said, you
have to come to family retreat. And I knew who
Johnny Ricksintada was because when I was seventeen and her
movie came out, my mother dragged us to the movie.
And so the first time we went to family retreat
(18:59):
there was none in New England. We had to drive
down to Pennsylvania. But we fell in love with the ministry.
So for many years, probably from two thousand and five
to two thousand, I don't know, fifteen or sixteen, maybe seventeen,
(19:19):
we attended camp every year and there's about fifteen or
twenty Johnny and Friend family retreats across the country where
you spend a week with other families with disabilities, and
every person with a disability has a buddy or short
term missionary for the week, and we have mom's groups
(19:43):
and dad's groups and adults can have some time and
the kids have a blast from there. I co led
a Johnny and Friends Mom's morning out group for many
years with my friend Kim nine in Bedford, New Hampshire,
and so just you know, trying to share the love
(20:07):
of God and the gospel with families with disabilities and
just being an encouragement and a support. And from there
I started collecting wheelchairs all around New Hampshire and Massachusetts.
So I probably have twenty manual wheale chairs in my
back garage right now. And once I have you know,
(20:32):
fifteen to twenty whale chairs, we stack them all in
my big whale chair van and we drive down to
Liberty Liberty Church, I forget the name of the church
in Shrewsbury, Massachusetts, and we store them there and then
they go to prisons conquered mass and down in Connecticut,
(20:52):
and prisoners all over several prisons all over the country
restore so the prisoners trained to restore these used wheelchairs,
and then we send them overseas to twenty or twenty
five different countries a year, and we send them with
(21:13):
occupational therapists and physical therapists, seating specialists. My daughter and
I were able to go to Uganda twice in twenty
fifteen and twenty sixteen and serve people who are crawling
on the ground, who have you know, raised them up
(21:35):
and give them dignity and mobility. And that's in the gospel. Yes,
we partner with churches in those countries and you know
it's South America, Asia, you know, all over Africa, and
we partner with a local church in a village and
(21:58):
we Yeah, one who is waiting to get a wheelchair,
here's the gospel, gets a Bible or Johnny Book, hopefully
in their language. And yeah, it's wonderful. So I've been
doing that for many years.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
So Lori, you are you are collecting wheelchairs like all
the time?
Speaker 3 (22:18):
Yes, wow, strangers.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
Yeah, so people if your wheelchair, they can contact you
and your Facebook page.
Speaker 4 (22:28):
So if they go on Johnny and Friends dot org.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
Okay, let's go back to the website. Let's see that.
Speaker 4 (22:34):
They can go on the website and they can look
up ministries. They can look up New England Wills for
the World. It's called Wills for the World, and they
will find my name and my my phone number. And yes,
I have a.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
You have the website.
Speaker 4 (22:52):
Yep.
Speaker 8 (22:52):
It is where.
Speaker 3 (22:54):
Maybe under our work maybe ministries.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
Minister Us ministry, our work and the world. Well, oh,
I see Wheels for the World. Okay, click that and
then five is it donate a wheelchair, don't donate or
find Yeah, yeah, that's good.
Speaker 4 (23:17):
Click on. Yeah, donate a wheelchair.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
And then we can in your zip code.
Speaker 4 (23:25):
Yep, yep, absolutely, oh three or seven six is mine.
But uh, if you're in southern New Hampshire or northern Massachusetts,
when you when you click it, you should be able
to find my name and number.
Speaker 3 (23:40):
Yeah, there's people all over the country that all partner
to do this and use their homes as as a
storage place and you're sent to prisons and it's just
a wonderful thing that they've been able to do.
Speaker 4 (23:54):
It's great because the prisoners when they are released, they
actually have a skill that can be used and they
could perhaps go work for a durable medical equipment company
because they've again have some skill in learning to repair wheelchairs.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
That's pretty amazing. Like, you guys are not just active
in New Hampshire, but and you're helping people locally and
and and abroad. That's a that's an amazing minister you
guys have.
Speaker 4 (24:26):
Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
So if people and families want to be part or
support or be part of Johnny and Friends, they can
also go to the website and.
Speaker 4 (24:36):
Register. They can donate, they can they can uh yes,
sign up, they can look for their local joining in
Friend's office. So our office here is in Haveoral Mass
covers New England. There's an office in Connecticut, there's an
office in Pennsylvania, you know, up and down the East
(24:58):
coast Florida and across the country. So they can contact
their local their local office, and there's there's that I
don't know what they're called. It's not necessarily a church ambassador,
church engagement people in each office. So if you wanted
someone from Johnny and Friends to come and speak at
(25:21):
your church and talk about Johnny and Friends, talk about
their work, talk about you know, having a wheelchair collection
day at your church, then Liz Babbitt is the person
here in New England who does that work. But there's
people yeah, all.
Speaker 2 (25:40):
Over the well include that in the in the podcast notes.
But I've how to get in contact with Johnny and Friends.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
Have you have you guys got a chance to meet Johnny.
It's amazing how her one life has touched millions of lives.
Speaker 4 (25:55):
Yeah, we have more than We've met her several times.
I've met her more times than Ben So twice we
met her at the New England Family Retreat up here
in New Hampshire, and then I've been out to the
International Disability Center in California. That's where their international offices are.
(26:20):
And so yeah, we've met with Johnny and Friends there
and yeah, we met Ken and her husband. Yeah, she's great.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
And she has a YouTube channel where she does like
I think it's daily, daily like videos of short devotionals
where she speaks. She has music, she has, she has
a podcast that she does every week radio podcast. And
I've known her name since I was a little kid
and mom, Mom's listened to things that she said for
(26:52):
a long time.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
So yeah, on the Christian radio too.
Speaker 4 (26:58):
Yeah, she has a daily five minute radio but then
there's also a I don't know if it's used to
be weekly. There's a podcast. It's a longer thirty minute
podcast and Johnny and Friends. I forget what it's called,
but there's a longer podcast as well for families with disabilities,
(27:21):
some really great stories of how God has worked through
disability in people's lives.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
Yeah, it's amazing that. Yeah, her faith, her hope in
Christ and God's promises. Just yeah, that she doesn't give up.
Speaker 4 (27:41):
You know. One of my favorite quotes of hers is,
I'd rather be in this wheelchair with Jesus than on
my feet without him.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
Oh yeah, yeah. And speaking of speaking of media, you
guys have have participated in some books, right, Oh yeah, you.
Speaker 1 (28:02):
Want to share the books that your family has produced.
Speaker 4 (28:06):
Oh sure. This one is saving our sons and daughters
and there are stories of duchem muscul dystrophy. So that's
Sam and I on the front cover. This was printed
in two thy and twelve and then right after that,
(28:29):
so it's a compilation of stories. Some of the families
are Christians, some of them are not. It just gives
a really varied view of the disability. And then don't
forget the siblings. That's been Sam and my daughter Lydia again.
That photo was from twenty eleven, and it's just stories
(28:54):
of the siblings. And it's really interesting that siblings of
of children with disabilities when you're growing up. My daughter's
working in the disability community and she has pretty much
her whole young adult life and she works for Career
(29:16):
Career Opportunities Unlimited, which helps people with barriers to employment
either disability or could be an ex convict or elderly,
or have other barriers to employment, gain employment and keep employment.
But the siblings, and I think this is this might
(29:40):
have been one of your questions. Having a disability really,
and like Ben said, it is so much more of
a blessing than it is a challenge. And it's certainly
a big challenge. But I will say that God has
molded me and I'm still far from a vessel that
(30:03):
he wants me to be, but I'm able. I'm able
to be more patient and kind and compassionate. And my daughter,
you know, she has like an empathy that you don't
typically find in a twenty six year old. And I think,
like Ben said that, you know, it really is a
(30:24):
blessing to live this life of disability. It's a platform.
We don't want to waste it. We want to use
what God has given us.
Speaker 3 (30:34):
And one thought that I wrote down a while ago
is that my disability can bring glory to God. That's
the thought I have thought about over my life. It can,
but it may not if I display the wrong attitude.
So you know, someone once said, you know, the only
disability is a bad attitude, and it's a trite saying,
(30:57):
but I think it does have some value. So if
that's something that's guided us. But me and Say both
have had our time where we wrestled with the idea
of suffering it and not why me, But you know,
everyone wrestles with those feelings of anger about going through that,
and I had my time as a teenager, but really,
(31:19):
over the years, I've seen seen that perspective of no,
my disability can bring glory to God. Like the blind
man who was told by Jesus who sinned this man
or his parents that he was born blind and Jesus said,
you guys don't know what you're talking about. Jesus said,
this man not because of any sin, but so that
the works of God could be shown through him. And
(31:40):
of course Jesus healed that man. And my pastor even
has used that to explain about how you know this
life is not all there is, and that God can
work through even the most difficult things to show his glory,
not because someone did anything wrong. And so I think
that's something that's also I did Mom, especially when she
(32:01):
was first hearing of the diagnosis and the story of
Abraham and Isaac. You know, I mean to see that God,
it's not what you've given me, but even your own children,
you're not going to be able to protect them from Dushad.
And the story of Abraham and Isaac was something that
hurts her. When she was grieving diagnosed.
Speaker 4 (32:23):
One of the questions I think you had was, what
would I tell you know a family who has a
prenatal diagnosis and I didn't have a prenatal diagnosis. I'm
kind of grateful for that. I'm grateful I didn't know
when I was pregnant, or I didn't know until then
was six years old. But now they are pushing prenatal
(32:47):
diagnosis for dushene muscular dystrophy and for so many other diseases.
But I would say, you know what, when Ben and
Sam were diagnosed, I prayed, and I asked my church
to pray, and I fasted. Probably I wanted to do
(33:07):
it for a year. I think I only made it
like three months. And God clearly said to me, I
do not have physical healing in store for Ben and Sam,
but I have something much better. And so I stopped
praying for healing, I stopped fasting for healing. And right
(33:30):
about that time, my pastor, on it was either a
Sunday or Wednesday evening, did a message on Abraham and
Isaac and I sat in the back of the church,
and again the diagnosis was new, but he talked about
you know, Abraham having to sacrifice his one and only son.
(33:52):
And I sat there and I just wept because God
was asking me, you're going to have to bury your sons.
I mean, God comes back and raptures us, or unless
something you know, horrible happens to me, I will probably
have to bury Ben and Sam. And God said to me,
(34:14):
I did that. I sacrificed my son so that people
could have eternal life, so that you could have eternal life,
so that your children could have eternal life. I'm not
asking anything from you that I didn't already offer you.
And so from that, you know, I wiped my eyes.
(34:37):
I got up, and I said, Okay, We're going to
live a abundant life. We're not going to live, you know,
a sad life as victims or you know where. We're
going to live an abundant life. And it may not
be easy, but God gets all the glory.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
Oh yeah, well, I guess I guess part of the
story of God sending his son as a as a
human for us is that he understands what we're going through.
Speaker 4 (35:12):
Right right, yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (35:17):
Wow, that's profound.
Speaker 2 (35:23):
And that was you said, that was like a long
time ago, right, like.
Speaker 4 (35:27):
That was two thousand and two.
Speaker 2 (35:30):
Wow, so that was years ago. Yeah, yeah, And has
God been faithful since then?
Speaker 4 (35:36):
It has been so faithful. I mean, you know, I
think all of us right when we're teenagers or young adults,
if we knew what God had in store for us,
I'll be sixty three soon. And if I if anyone
had told me you will have two sons with dushen
muscular dystrophy, you will be a widow at forty nine.
(35:57):
So my husband passed away, he was fifty, I was
forty nine, I would have said, I am not signing
up for this, no, thank you. He has provided everything
that we need. You know, we were able to build
a beautiful handicap accessible home for Ben and Sam. We
(36:18):
use it. We've used it for Bible studies. We have
a guest suite we use for missionaries and visiting pastors.
And we're right now doing respite for an eleven year
old with dushen who's in foster care. And so God
has given us this home and my husband faithfully he
(36:42):
paid it off before he died. And so everything we
just walked through the door. God says here it is
walk walk through and by faith, you know, it's not
always easy and sometimes it's scary, but he is so faithful. Yeah,
He's provided everything that we need. He's a gracious God. Yeah.
Speaker 8 (37:07):
Well, one of our questions was how how can New
Hampshire be a safer, safer state for families with disabilities
or as you say, with families with blessings.
Speaker 1 (37:23):
So what can New Hampshire do better do?
Speaker 3 (37:27):
An answer that I do want to share some versions at.
Speaker 4 (37:30):
The end, so I think I'll let you do that, Okay.
So I think the church needs to be involved. So
I have been involved with this, this one family, this uh,
this foster child that we have right now. He's the
third child of a woman who has addiction problems. And
(37:53):
so I have been involved with the state with adult
protective services in d C YF. And the state is
not great at doing the things that families should be doing,
that churches should be doing. So I would say that
the churches in New Hampshire, if you're pro life, you're
(38:15):
watching this podcast and and you love life, then I
think we need to We need to we need to
step it up, we need to stand up, and we
need to serve those who whose lives are fragile or
in danger, or who are being abused or neglected. You know,
(38:36):
the foster care system is it's it's difficult, it's it's
I think it's in it's in disarray, it's and I've
I've tried to contact all the way up to the
governor's office, you know, and there's just roadblocks everywhere. And
(38:58):
I want, I'm sorry, I want. I want my little
friend to go to a home where they know and
love the Lord. And I've been looking for a home
for him for almost a year, and so has d
C YF. So Christian families who love the Lord, who
(39:19):
who are pro life. Then I think we need to
stand up and we need to serve this community.
Speaker 3 (39:27):
I think another go ahead, and I think another thing
would just be more and more people getting involved with
the issue of life and just more with people with
the state. But if the church doesn't do their part
as well, they're mistaken. You know, we can stave off
any bills about abortion or assistant suicide or all kinds
(39:49):
of other things, but if the people themselves don't get
involved and participate, including even in the church, then you know,
with just the government doing it, it's not We're just
going to be kind of in the middle ground of
just stating off defenses and not having an offense of
helping those in reaching out.
Speaker 4 (40:10):
Yeah, so Johnny ericson Tata who helped that pass the
ADA in nineteen nineteen ninety, Right, so they're just celebrating
their thirty fifth year this month. One of the things
that was said, the guy who was the head of
the committee she was on, said, you know, this law
(40:37):
is going to make it so people have transportation, so
the bus driver, you know, is able to take people
in wheelchairs, so restaurants in public spaces are accessible. However,
it's not going to change people's hearts. So we need
(40:59):
to change people's hearts. And he toasted, here's to change hearts,
So we need to move Yeah, he was a man
with brittle bone disease. I forget his name. But we
need to change people's hearts. Right. We can change laws,
like Ben said, we can try to hold off. Can
(41:20):
we make the twenty four week abortion law a twenty
two or a twenty or a fifteen week? But that's
not changing people's hearts. We need to change people's hearts
and minds, and only the gospel does that.
Speaker 1 (41:36):
Yeah, is there a website for the foster care in
New Hampshire.
Speaker 4 (41:43):
There is. Let me just look up an email. I
think it's DCYF Okay, let me just see all right,
it is www dot d h h S dot nh
(42:06):
dot gov backslash foster care.
Speaker 2 (42:10):
Okay, right, we'll include that. We'll include that in the
show notes for for our listeners. Laurie, So, I just
want to you said something earlier, you said the foster
care system needs help. Were you saying that Christians and
churches should step up and become foster parents or were
you suggesting something else?
Speaker 4 (42:30):
Yes, no, no, yeah, step up, become foster parents. You know,
we're providing respite as we can because we have a
handicap accessible home. But you know, I'm a widow and
I have been and Sam, we don't have. It's not
easy for us to do. And these especially young boys
(42:52):
need they need a dad, you know, they need a
foster dad. So yeah, I think if if God, families
who love the Lord and love life, yeah, step up
and give it a try. And you know when they
first asked me to do Restpit last year, I laid
in bed and I probably for probably two or three
(43:14):
nights beforehand, I had a really hard time sleeping. I
was so afraid. I'm like, can I do this? Because
I didn't have a lot of caregiving help and isn't
going to be up all night and and and it
was such a blessing. He's such a blessing. It's hard,
(43:34):
but I the blessing's far outweigh the trials.
Speaker 2 (43:38):
So yeah, I think I think we're Bible versus yeah
to share.
Speaker 4 (43:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (43:49):
Yeah. So when I saw the note that said, you know,
what are your hobbies? And for me, like, I love
classical music, and I love food and a lot of
other things. But for me, the main thing is I
wanted to find the truth spiritually, and I wanted to
learn the Bible. I've been working on a for the
last like three or four years. I'm learning the Bible.
(44:11):
And for me, theile I'm a Bible believer. So I
came to a conviction that I believe the King James
Bible is the only Bible, and when I look into it,
I find it as the authority for my life. And
so I thought, what does God think about life? So
when you look in the Bible and Genesis nine. Genesis
nine was right after Noah got off the arc with
(44:32):
his family and got an institute a government. And he
said that whoso shed is man's blood by man, shall
his blood be shed in the image of God. Man
was made. In Deuteronomy thirty, verse nineteen, in the Law,
it says, I call heaven and earth to record this
day against you that I've said before you life and death,
(44:55):
blessing is and cursing, blessing and cursing. Therefore, choose life,
both thou and thy seed may live. In Psalm ten
and Some one thirty nine by David and some kind
of talks about the wicked man and that in the
secret places he murders the innocent. But in Someone thirty
nine it says in verse fifteen, my substance was not
(45:20):
hit from the fee when I was made in secret,
So when murdering the secret places, you can apply that
to that verse. And basically what it's saying is that's
murdering that innocent life in the womb, in that secret
place of the mother's womb, that God knew, God knew
us before we were, before we were even born. And
(45:41):
then when I think about another verse, when I was
in front of the Judiciary Committee for the Senate in
twenty twenty three. I use the verse from proverb six.
These six things doth the Lord hate, seven are an
abomination unto him, And it gives a list of these things.
And in verse seventeen it says hands that shed innocent blood.
(46:03):
I read that to that committee, and in a wheelchair,
I read that to them. And then I thought of
John ten verse ten. The thief cometh not but forged
to steal and to kill and to destroy. And Jesus said,
I am come that they might have life, and that
they may have it more abundantly. You know, when I
(46:26):
got saved at eight years old and trusted Christ, it
was because of John three point sixty, where talks about
for God to love the world, that he gave us
only begotten son, that who's whoever believed in him should
not perish, but should have everlasting life. And Jesus said,
I am the Way, the Truth and the life. Of course,
(46:47):
Jesus talked about eternal life. Now his words were spirit
and they were life. But through all that you can
see how God affirms life all over the scripture. There's
many more verses, so anyone.
Speaker 4 (46:59):
That don't ask him, because he will recite them all.
Speaker 3 (47:02):
The only one that uses the Bible, like I have
heard at the State House people using the Bible to
say that abortion is a right for people, saying that
since a suicide is okay, that is not a firm
by scripture. God affirms life throughout the Bible.
Speaker 2 (47:19):
Man.
Speaker 4 (47:21):
Yeah, and then we'll be preaching this Sunday at kid
pastor is on vacation, so if anybody wants to hear,
what is your message on Sunday.
Speaker 3 (47:34):
So I'm going to be looking at a fuller understanding
of the new Birth and Sunday school But in the
morning service, I'm going to be talking about a Christian
attitude toward infirmities and for me personally, my infirmities my disability.
So I talked about my disability bringing glory to God.
We'll be discussing how infirmities affect our lives, how that
(47:56):
is shown in the Bible, and how we can have
a Christian attitude, remembering that this is not all there
is anyway.
Speaker 4 (48:03):
We'll be a pillar Baptist church if anybody wants to
join us this Sunday. Sunday schools at nine thirty in
the morning services at ten thirty. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (48:14):
Yeah, thank God, bless bless that message through you, Ben,
thank you, change many hearts.
Speaker 4 (48:21):
Yes, well, thank you.
Speaker 1 (48:23):
Should we close in prayer?
Speaker 4 (48:25):
Jason?
Speaker 2 (48:26):
Sure? Well, God, I thank you for these wonderful guests,
the the anointing you've given them to preach good news
Lord in New Hampshire and internationally. Lord, would you would
you please bless them and continue to fill them with
(48:46):
your spirit so that they may do the good works
you've called them too? And Jesus name, Yeah, Amen, thank you?
Speaker 1 (48:56):
What do you Laurie? Ben and I'll with Sam earlier.
It's been such an honor to just spend some time
with you all and hear your your lives and really
just encourage us all to run run the race like
(49:17):
you are you are, to run the race well, to
fight the good fight of faith.
Speaker 4 (49:23):
Yeah, thanks for all you do. We appreciate you both.
Speaker 2 (49:28):
Thank you all right, to see you soon. Take care,
I'll see you at the next hearing.
Speaker 3 (49:33):
Sounds good.
Speaker 1 (49:36):
That's episode. Goodbye everyone, Ye.
Speaker 9 (49:39):
Thank you for listening to the Ever Living Podcast. If
you have scripture questions or things you'd like to share,
please feel free to email us at ever livingpod at
gmail dot com. Also make sure to follow us on
Instagram at ever dot Living podcast and if you liked
this podcast, please make sure to subscribe and share with
(49:59):
a friend and give us a five star review.
Speaker 5 (50:02):
See you next week.
Speaker 9 (50:03):
May God bless you and be very near to you,
and may you be ever living
Welcome to Ever Living, a podcast about sharing the stories
and voices of those who work and pray to protect
life in New Hampshire and beyond. Welcome to the podcast.
Welcome Jason, Thanks Cindy, you're filling in for Jessica this week.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Yeah, I'm excited to be here.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Yeah. We're kind of a family, right Jason, Yeah, I
think we've met before. Yes, we're married. So do you
know any other cool families in New Hampshire.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Well, as a matter of fact, I do. There's a family,
the Staffords, who have been really active in pro life
for basically as long as I can remember. They show
up to all the hearings, they pray, they're just really
active trying to protect the innocent and protect their rights.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Awesome, I'd love I think our listeners would love a
chance to meet them today.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
I think so too.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Okay, let's everybody welcome. The Safford family today is Laurie,
Ben and Sam.
Speaker 3 (01:04):
Welcome, Thank you, thank you?
Speaker 1 (01:08):
All right, why don't you DoD you guys, introduce yourself,
tell us a little about yourselves and introduce yourself to
our audience.
Speaker 4 (01:16):
Sure, I'm Laurie Safford. We live in Pelham, New Hampshire.
I was raised in Massachusetts and moved to New Hampshire
in two thousand and oh no. Nineteen ninety five. Actually
Ben and Sam were born and we were living in Wyndham,
New Hampshire when our house was actually struck by lightning
(01:39):
and we were living in a hotel when Ben and
Sam were diagnosed with Dushene muscular dystrophe. So they were
four and six years old at the time. My husband
passed away in twenty and twelve. So I have a daughter.
Lydia is not here with us. She works in the
disability community. Though she's my youngest and then's my oldest
(02:03):
at twenty nine, and Sam is twenty seven, even though
everyone thinks he looks older because he has the beard.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
Yeah, in the green shirt and Sam can introduce himself.
Speaker 5 (02:16):
I'm Sam. I'm Sam Safford, a middle child, and I
do public speaking.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
Yep, great, great, So glad to have you on our
podcast today. Thanks for being here. Let's hear more. Can
you explain what is dushan muscular dystrophy for our listeners
who don't know much about it?
Speaker 4 (02:45):
Sure, most people don't know that there are about nine
different forms of muscular dystrophy, and dushan is the most
fatal childhood diagnosed muscular dist So it's an ex linked
genetic defect, and that means that the woman carries the
(03:06):
defective gene and it's usually passed from the mom. In
my case, there's a thing called spontaneous mutation, so my
mother did not carry the genetic defect. When I was conceived,
my DNA mutated, So I look at it as God
just touched my touched my embryo and gave us dushene
(03:32):
muscular dystrophy. So there was a fifty to fifty chance
that each one of my children would have dushen. We
did not know until Ben was six, Sam was four,
and Lydia was three, So I had three kids in
less than three years, so we were a very busy household.
(03:53):
So dushen is a progressive muscle wasting disease. So Ben
walked until he was eleven, no nine. Sam walked till
he was eleven. So it starts where they lose their
leg muscles and then lose their upper body functions. So
(04:13):
Ben and Sam can't feed themselves, scratch their nose, you know, toilet, shower,
dress themselves. They need pretty much help with all activities
of daily living. And because the heart and the lungs
are muscles, those are also affected so young men.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
About two years ago, I had a pneumonia episode to
put me in the hospital for eight days and it
was only through my mom's fighting advocacy that I made
it through that she was able to get a doctor
connected that was my specialist for lungs, and she was
even able to she actually had to fight the doctors
(04:56):
in a hospital to allow her to stay in my
room me when I went through that experience, and she
even ended up writing a letter to the hospital afterwards
after how terrible and how not life of farming experience was.
So as you can imagine, this is a disease that
totally takes over your life, but it hasn't broken us
(05:18):
or a spirit, and we don't see it as a
disability as many would. We see it as an opportunity
for a blessing that God can cause.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
Wow, it's an amazing perspective, so special.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Yeah, I love hearing I love hearing your your your
your attitude is one of grace and like, yeah, yeah,
I just I could I could see people becoming bitter
and I love to see that you're seeing the positive
and seeing how God has been working. Even even in
(05:55):
this this hospital episode, it sounds like God God prevailed
and the good things, good things happened.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
Yeah, with this hospital in New Hampshire. I don't know
if you want to give further details.
Speaker 4 (06:10):
Yeah, it was Lowell General. And like Ben said, our
doctors are all in Boston at Tuft's Medical Center, but
our pullmonologist was out of town. He was at a
conference in Texas when Ben landed at Lowell General. And
they're in the same Tought network. So the Lowell General
(06:32):
doctors can see all the pulmonology and cardiology notes from
the Boston hospital. So our pumonologist I have. How many
people have their doctor's cell phone numbers, I do, so
I was able to call him in Texas. He was
able to speak with the er doc and he essentially said,
(06:57):
if he you know, Ben needs an ICU room, and
if you don't put him in the ICU, he's not
going to survive. And so then spent eight days in
the ICU. And but anyway, like Ben said, it was
challenging and I didn't leave his side other than have
my daughter there because it just it was you know, Yeah,
(07:23):
it's it's hard.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
Do you know if there's a reason, like why wouldn't
they let you be in the room.
Speaker 4 (07:33):
So I think, yeah, it's complicated, but I I think
they don't really like you knowing what's going on twenty
four hours a day in the hospital with.
Speaker 3 (07:49):
Her sending them a letter and going through a whole thing.
But the unfortunate thing is, if it happens again, we're
probably going to be at Little General again because there's
really not a lot of places that are to be
able to deal with a wheelchair and vice versa.
Speaker 4 (08:04):
So I'll see that. Our pomonologist told the er doc
and in the ICU doctors that Ben needed twenty four
hour non invasive respiratory therapy, which means coffeist and BiPAP machine,
like twenty four hours a day. And so we ended
(08:26):
up in the ICU at about eleven o'clock, Yeah, eleven
o'clock at night, maybe ten thirty, and I called the
respiratory therapist. She came and said, I said, twenty four
hours we need to be doing coffeist and she said yep,
she said, you know, I'm going to be off at eleven,
but I'll send my coworker and we'll you know, she
(08:50):
left and we never saw anyone until like nine or
ten o'clock the next morning. So I did twenty four
hour respiratory.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
Our own machine, and we had to bring our machines
with us. They didn't have the machine on site. So yeah,
it was a whole experience, and we learned a lot
from that, more than we thought we needed to learn.
And I'd rather not learn it like that again. But
and let's just say we weren't exactly as gracious when
we went through that, but we learned a lot from better.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
It sounds like you were your your own advocates at
that hospital, but you're also active in advocacy in New
Hampshire for many people. And what what type of advocacy
have you all been active in and how did you
get started. We'd love to hear your experience about Yeah,
(09:44):
that's probl advocacy.
Speaker 4 (09:47):
So I would say that advocacy probably started when I
became a mother, but really started when Ben and Sam
were diagnosed with dushan. The two books that I have
edited and put together for Dushen muscular dystrophy families, So
I've always kind of advocated for families in the disability community.
(10:15):
And then one of the things that was really cool
is that Community Crossroads, which is our area agency in
New Hampshire that serves families with disabilities, children and adults.
They had a public policy course. It actually was a
whole year and we met monthly and we had a
(10:38):
list of activities that we had to do, including touring
the state House, testifying, emailing and meeting our state reps,
interviewing our state senator. We did all kinds of things.
So my daughter and I did that together back in
twenty twenty two and that really helped, I think, give
(11:02):
us a really good kind of understanding better how to advocate.
And that was for families with disabilities. But we took
that because life isn't really where our heart is just
protecting life from the womb to the tomb, and so
we've done every time that there has been an abortion
(11:26):
or an assistant suicide, Bill Ben Sam and Lydia and
I try to testify. So where.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
Yeah, can you can you just say a little bit
about like what's on your heart? I know assisted suicide
has been up for the past two years, it's probably
going to be brought up again, and can you just
say a little bit like your thoughts and how that
affects you.
Speaker 4 (11:52):
Yeah, why don't you go ahead?
Speaker 3 (11:54):
So for the assistant suicide, first of all, my perspective
in general with life, especially when people say, you know,
we have the right to have an abortion or we
have the right for assistant suicide. I've talked to many
people and told them that do you know that when
you say that without realizing it, you don't understand that
(12:16):
you're actually saying that my life has less worth. I know,
like when I say that to someone, they'll say, oh, no,
I would never say that a disabled because it's very
common for people to look at the disabled community as
an ally in a lot of ways to the liberal
view of advocating for abortion and race equity and things
(12:39):
like that. So when I tell them, it really opens
their eyes when I say that, when you claim that
this is a right to an abortion, your supportive abortion
actually jeopardizes the lives of disabled people like me who
are told by doctors in the womb that you're going
to have a child with a fatal illness. Doctors will
(13:00):
say to people I recommend an abortion, or even scarily
that doctors have even allowed for assistant suicide to the
patients who they say are in all this pain from
their challenges with disability or any other thing, and saying
that it's better for them not to live. And so
(13:20):
for me it's almost like an attack on my own
existence as a disabled person that has a good life.
I mean, I was blessed to have great parents who
wanted to keep us in the home and work hard
and to everything they needed so that we could be
in the zone and was born again Christians. We believe
that all life is sacred, from in the womb all
(13:43):
the way to the tomb and even after the great
because we believe this, this is not all there is.
We believe that there is a life hereafter. And for me,
assistant suicide and evolution shouldn't We should have a right
to life, not a right to death. That that's the
total opposite of why America was founded, in what the
(14:03):
whole point of liberty is. And so for us that
it's no question that it's just a suicide should be
another thing that we'll be advocates against. Personally, I don't
love going having to go to the state House every time.
It started for me when my mother said, then you
don't understand what an impact it would make for you
(14:24):
to go up to a committee and speak to them,
because a lot of times they could be on their phone,
or like when is this meeting going to end when
someone like me or Sam go up, or there's another
young man that goes up that as down center might believe.
And when we go up there, they everyone stops in
their tracks and says, like, wait a minute. These people
actually have great lives and they want they want to live,
(14:46):
they don't want to die. They believe that they have
a blessed life in that other people, if there was
ability for them to have whatever supports they need, could
have a great life too, and that realizing that life
has so much value, especially for us being made in
the image of God, as we believe that as Christians.
(15:07):
So that kind of fucked my is my perspective on
that particular issue.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
Wow, so Well said, yes, amazing.
Speaker 6 (15:16):
That that then when you're there, you you put a
face to an issue that maybe they never thought and
put anyone's face too, or that these like people, these
are real people's lives.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
That's that where that they're.
Speaker 7 (15:32):
Voting on and making decisions for so and actually I
think Sam could speak to that about one time you
went up there, and do you remember what you guys
decided to do when you went up there?
Speaker 3 (15:45):
Remember you want you to tell the story about the
machine you had. All yeah, I wore my five pat machine.
I wore my five pat machine. But I went up
there basically helps me.
Speaker 5 (16:01):
With breathing and gives me a helps me inhale and
exhale their so and I testify. So it was just
a good visual to show them. I don't want to say,
make it more dramatic, but m mommy, yeah, can you
tell them what toast Masters is? Can you explain a
(16:23):
little bit about what you do? And so I do public.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
Speaking, So I do to a.
Speaker 5 (16:28):
Toast Masters club, which is a public speaking organization that's
a nonprofit worldwide, and I, uh, that's uh. That makes
it easier for me to use use it for advocacy.
Speaker 4 (16:42):
So I do that.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
And yeah, so yeah, that part I guess. Yeah. So
Sam has been active in that for I don't know
what year you started, was a twenty seventeen is when
you started that, But Sam has been active in doing
that for a long time. And is that a lot
of opportunities to speak to high schools and many things
(17:06):
about his faith and going through his disability and so amazing.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
Yeah, just sharing what God has done in your life,
what he's doing, what he will do. And actually, Jason,
I we we we've been part of Postmasters a little
bit too.
Speaker 2 (17:21):
Right, Jason, you enjoy it tops, Yeah, as you should
come the Winning Speakers.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
That's the name of my club.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
Okay, yeah we should. Yeah, it'll be fun. So the
next question we have is about Johnny and Friends before,
can you explain what what Johnny and Friends is and
what your involvement is.
Speaker 4 (17:47):
Sure? Absolutely so. I first got introduced to Johnny and
Friends the year after Ben and Sam were diagnosed, and
I was really searching out another family with Duschen so
that I could, yeah, so that I could just have
somebody to relate to, because everyone I knew in my
(18:09):
world had typical children. Right. So the first family I met,
the Lafferty family in Nashua, New Hampshire. The first time
I called her on the phone and I was weeping
and I could hear her sons that were ten years
older than Ben and Sam. I could hear them in
the background laughing, and I thought, Okay, life is not over.
(18:35):
It's going to be different, but it's not over. And
she told me about Johnny and Friends and said, you
have to come to family retreat. And I knew who
Johnny Ricksintada was because when I was seventeen and her
movie came out, my mother dragged us to the movie.
And so the first time we went to family retreat
(18:59):
there was none in New England. We had to drive
down to Pennsylvania. But we fell in love with the ministry.
So for many years, probably from two thousand and five
to two thousand, I don't know, fifteen or sixteen, maybe seventeen,
(19:19):
we attended camp every year and there's about fifteen or
twenty Johnny and Friend family retreats across the country where
you spend a week with other families with disabilities, and
every person with a disability has a buddy or short
term missionary for the week, and we have mom's groups
(19:43):
and dad's groups and adults can have some time and
the kids have a blast from there. I co led
a Johnny and Friends Mom's morning out group for many
years with my friend Kim nine in Bedford, New Hampshire,
and so just you know, trying to share the love
(20:07):
of God and the gospel with families with disabilities and
just being an encouragement and a support. And from there
I started collecting wheelchairs all around New Hampshire and Massachusetts.
So I probably have twenty manual wheale chairs in my
back garage right now. And once I have you know,
(20:32):
fifteen to twenty whale chairs, we stack them all in
my big whale chair van and we drive down to
Liberty Liberty Church, I forget the name of the church
in Shrewsbury, Massachusetts, and we store them there and then
they go to prisons conquered mass and down in Connecticut,
(20:52):
and prisoners all over several prisons all over the country
restore so the prisoners trained to restore these used wheelchairs,
and then we send them overseas to twenty or twenty
five different countries a year, and we send them with
(21:13):
occupational therapists and physical therapists, seating specialists. My daughter and
I were able to go to Uganda twice in twenty
fifteen and twenty sixteen and serve people who are crawling
on the ground, who have you know, raised them up
(21:35):
and give them dignity and mobility. And that's in the gospel. Yes,
we partner with churches in those countries and you know
it's South America, Asia, you know, all over Africa, and
we partner with a local church in a village and
(21:58):
we Yeah, one who is waiting to get a wheelchair,
here's the gospel, gets a Bible or Johnny Book, hopefully
in their language. And yeah, it's wonderful. So I've been
doing that for many years.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
So Lori, you are you are collecting wheelchairs like all
the time?
Speaker 3 (22:18):
Yes, wow, strangers.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
Yeah, so people if your wheelchair, they can contact you
and your Facebook page.
Speaker 4 (22:28):
So if they go on Johnny and Friends dot org.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
Okay, let's go back to the website. Let's see that.
Speaker 4 (22:34):
They can go on the website and they can look
up ministries. They can look up New England Wills for
the World. It's called Wills for the World, and they
will find my name and my my phone number. And yes,
I have a.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
You have the website.
Speaker 4 (22:52):
Yep.
Speaker 8 (22:52):
It is where.
Speaker 3 (22:54):
Maybe under our work maybe ministries.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
Minister Us ministry, our work and the world. Well, oh,
I see Wheels for the World. Okay, click that and
then five is it donate a wheelchair, don't donate or
find Yeah, yeah, that's good.
Speaker 4 (23:17):
Click on. Yeah, donate a wheelchair.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
And then we can in your zip code.
Speaker 4 (23:25):
Yep, yep, absolutely, oh three or seven six is mine.
But uh, if you're in southern New Hampshire or northern Massachusetts,
when you when you click it, you should be able
to find my name and number.
Speaker 3 (23:40):
Yeah, there's people all over the country that all partner
to do this and use their homes as as a
storage place and you're sent to prisons and it's just
a wonderful thing that they've been able to do.
Speaker 4 (23:54):
It's great because the prisoners when they are released, they
actually have a skill that can be used and they
could perhaps go work for a durable medical equipment company
because they've again have some skill in learning to repair wheelchairs.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
That's pretty amazing. Like, you guys are not just active
in New Hampshire, but and you're helping people locally and
and and abroad. That's a that's an amazing minister you
guys have.
Speaker 4 (24:26):
Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
So if people and families want to be part or
support or be part of Johnny and Friends, they can
also go to the website and.
Speaker 4 (24:36):
Register. They can donate, they can they can uh yes,
sign up, they can look for their local joining in
Friend's office. So our office here is in Haveoral Mass
covers New England. There's an office in Connecticut, there's an
office in Pennsylvania, you know, up and down the East
(24:58):
coast Florida and across the country. So they can contact
their local their local office, and there's there's that I
don't know what they're called. It's not necessarily a church ambassador,
church engagement people in each office. So if you wanted
someone from Johnny and Friends to come and speak at
(25:21):
your church and talk about Johnny and Friends, talk about
their work, talk about you know, having a wheelchair collection
day at your church, then Liz Babbitt is the person
here in New England who does that work. But there's
people yeah, all.
Speaker 2 (25:40):
Over the well include that in the in the podcast notes.
But I've how to get in contact with Johnny and Friends.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
Have you have you guys got a chance to meet Johnny.
It's amazing how her one life has touched millions of lives.
Speaker 4 (25:55):
Yeah, we have more than We've met her several times.
I've met her more times than Ben So twice we
met her at the New England Family Retreat up here
in New Hampshire, and then I've been out to the
International Disability Center in California. That's where their international offices are.
(26:20):
And so yeah, we've met with Johnny and Friends there
and yeah, we met Ken and her husband. Yeah, she's great.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
And she has a YouTube channel where she does like
I think it's daily, daily like videos of short devotionals
where she speaks. She has music, she has, she has
a podcast that she does every week radio podcast. And
I've known her name since I was a little kid
and mom, Mom's listened to things that she said for
(26:52):
a long time.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
So yeah, on the Christian radio too.
Speaker 4 (26:58):
Yeah, she has a daily five minute radio but then
there's also a I don't know if it's used to
be weekly. There's a podcast. It's a longer thirty minute
podcast and Johnny and Friends. I forget what it's called,
but there's a longer podcast as well for families with disabilities,
(27:21):
some really great stories of how God has worked through
disability in people's lives.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
Yeah, it's amazing that. Yeah, her faith, her hope in
Christ and God's promises. Just yeah, that she doesn't give up.
Speaker 4 (27:41):
You know. One of my favorite quotes of hers is,
I'd rather be in this wheelchair with Jesus than on
my feet without him.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
Oh yeah, yeah. And speaking of speaking of media, you
guys have have participated in some books, right, Oh yeah, you.
Speaker 1 (28:02):
Want to share the books that your family has produced.
Speaker 4 (28:06):
Oh sure. This one is saving our sons and daughters
and there are stories of duchem muscul dystrophy. So that's
Sam and I on the front cover. This was printed
in two thy and twelve and then right after that,
(28:29):
so it's a compilation of stories. Some of the families
are Christians, some of them are not. It just gives
a really varied view of the disability. And then don't
forget the siblings. That's been Sam and my daughter Lydia again.
That photo was from twenty eleven, and it's just stories
(28:54):
of the siblings. And it's really interesting that siblings of
of children with disabilities when you're growing up. My daughter's
working in the disability community and she has pretty much
her whole young adult life and she works for Career
(29:16):
Career Opportunities Unlimited, which helps people with barriers to employment
either disability or could be an ex convict or elderly,
or have other barriers to employment, gain employment and keep employment.
But the siblings, and I think this is this might
(29:40):
have been one of your questions. Having a disability really,
and like Ben said, it is so much more of
a blessing than it is a challenge. And it's certainly
a big challenge. But I will say that God has
molded me and I'm still far from a vessel that
(30:03):
he wants me to be, but I'm able. I'm able
to be more patient and kind and compassionate. And my daughter,
you know, she has like an empathy that you don't
typically find in a twenty six year old. And I think,
like Ben said that, you know, it really is a
(30:24):
blessing to live this life of disability. It's a platform.
We don't want to waste it. We want to use
what God has given us.
Speaker 3 (30:34):
And one thought that I wrote down a while ago
is that my disability can bring glory to God. That's
the thought I have thought about over my life. It can,
but it may not if I display the wrong attitude.
So you know, someone once said, you know, the only
disability is a bad attitude, and it's a trite saying,
(30:57):
but I think it does have some value. So if
that's something that's guided us. But me and Say both
have had our time where we wrestled with the idea
of suffering it and not why me, But you know,
everyone wrestles with those feelings of anger about going through that,
and I had my time as a teenager, but really,
(31:19):
over the years, I've seen seen that perspective of no,
my disability can bring glory to God. Like the blind
man who was told by Jesus who sinned this man
or his parents that he was born blind and Jesus said,
you guys don't know what you're talking about. Jesus said,
this man not because of any sin, but so that
the works of God could be shown through him. And
(31:40):
of course Jesus healed that man. And my pastor even
has used that to explain about how you know this
life is not all there is, and that God can
work through even the most difficult things to show his glory,
not because someone did anything wrong. And so I think
that's something that's also I did Mom, especially when she
(32:01):
was first hearing of the diagnosis and the story of
Abraham and Isaac. You know, I mean to see that God,
it's not what you've given me, but even your own children,
you're not going to be able to protect them from Dushad.
And the story of Abraham and Isaac was something that
hurts her. When she was grieving diagnosed.
Speaker 4 (32:23):
One of the questions I think you had was, what
would I tell you know a family who has a
prenatal diagnosis and I didn't have a prenatal diagnosis. I'm
kind of grateful for that. I'm grateful I didn't know
when I was pregnant, or I didn't know until then
was six years old. But now they are pushing prenatal
(32:47):
diagnosis for dushene muscular dystrophy and for so many other diseases.
But I would say, you know what, when Ben and
Sam were diagnosed, I prayed, and I asked my church
to pray, and I fasted. Probably I wanted to do
(33:07):
it for a year. I think I only made it
like three months. And God clearly said to me, I
do not have physical healing in store for Ben and Sam,
but I have something much better. And so I stopped
praying for healing, I stopped fasting for healing. And right
(33:30):
about that time, my pastor, on it was either a
Sunday or Wednesday evening, did a message on Abraham and
Isaac and I sat in the back of the church,
and again the diagnosis was new, but he talked about
you know, Abraham having to sacrifice his one and only son.
(33:52):
And I sat there and I just wept because God
was asking me, you're going to have to bury your sons.
I mean, God comes back and raptures us, or unless
something you know, horrible happens to me, I will probably
have to bury Ben and Sam. And God said to me,
(34:14):
I did that. I sacrificed my son so that people
could have eternal life, so that you could have eternal life,
so that your children could have eternal life. I'm not
asking anything from you that I didn't already offer you.
And so from that, you know, I wiped my eyes.
(34:37):
I got up, and I said, Okay, We're going to
live a abundant life. We're not going to live, you know,
a sad life as victims or you know where. We're
going to live an abundant life. And it may not
be easy, but God gets all the glory.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
Oh yeah, well, I guess I guess part of the
story of God sending his son as a as a
human for us is that he understands what we're going through.
Speaker 4 (35:12):
Right right, yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (35:17):
Wow, that's profound.
Speaker 2 (35:23):
And that was you said, that was like a long
time ago, right, like.
Speaker 4 (35:27):
That was two thousand and two.
Speaker 2 (35:30):
Wow, so that was years ago. Yeah, yeah, And has
God been faithful since then?
Speaker 4 (35:36):
It has been so faithful. I mean, you know, I
think all of us right when we're teenagers or young adults,
if we knew what God had in store for us,
I'll be sixty three soon. And if I if anyone
had told me you will have two sons with dushen
muscular dystrophy, you will be a widow at forty nine.
(35:57):
So my husband passed away, he was fifty, I was
forty nine, I would have said, I am not signing
up for this, no, thank you. He has provided everything
that we need. You know, we were able to build
a beautiful handicap accessible home for Ben and Sam. We
(36:18):
use it. We've used it for Bible studies. We have
a guest suite we use for missionaries and visiting pastors.
And we're right now doing respite for an eleven year
old with dushen who's in foster care. And so God
has given us this home and my husband faithfully he
(36:42):
paid it off before he died. And so everything we
just walked through the door. God says here it is
walk walk through and by faith, you know, it's not
always easy and sometimes it's scary, but he is so faithful. Yeah,
He's provided everything that we need. He's a gracious God. Yeah.
Speaker 8 (37:07):
Well, one of our questions was how how can New
Hampshire be a safer, safer state for families with disabilities
or as you say, with families with blessings.
Speaker 1 (37:23):
So what can New Hampshire do better do?
Speaker 3 (37:27):
An answer that I do want to share some versions at.
Speaker 4 (37:30):
The end, so I think I'll let you do that, Okay.
So I think the church needs to be involved. So
I have been involved with this, this one family, this uh,
this foster child that we have right now. He's the
third child of a woman who has addiction problems. And
(37:53):
so I have been involved with the state with adult
protective services in d C YF. And the state is
not great at doing the things that families should be doing,
that churches should be doing. So I would say that
the churches in New Hampshire, if you're pro life, you're
(38:15):
watching this podcast and and you love life, then I
think we need to We need to we need to
step it up, we need to stand up, and we
need to serve those who whose lives are fragile or
in danger, or who are being abused or neglected. You know,
(38:36):
the foster care system is it's it's difficult, it's it's
I think it's in it's in disarray, it's and I've
I've tried to contact all the way up to the
governor's office, you know, and there's just roadblocks everywhere. And
(38:58):
I want, I'm sorry, I want. I want my little
friend to go to a home where they know and
love the Lord. And I've been looking for a home
for him for almost a year, and so has d
C YF. So Christian families who love the Lord, who
(39:19):
who are pro life. Then I think we need to
stand up and we need to serve this community.
Speaker 3 (39:27):
I think another go ahead, and I think another thing
would just be more and more people getting involved with
the issue of life and just more with people with
the state. But if the church doesn't do their part
as well, they're mistaken. You know, we can stave off
any bills about abortion or assistant suicide or all kinds
(39:49):
of other things, but if the people themselves don't get
involved and participate, including even in the church, then you know,
with just the government doing it, it's not We're just
going to be kind of in the middle ground of
just stating off defenses and not having an offense of
helping those in reaching out.
Speaker 4 (40:10):
Yeah, so Johnny ericson Tata who helped that pass the
ADA in nineteen nineteen ninety, Right, so they're just celebrating
their thirty fifth year this month. One of the things
that was said, the guy who was the head of
the committee she was on, said, you know, this law
(40:37):
is going to make it so people have transportation, so
the bus driver, you know, is able to take people
in wheelchairs, so restaurants in public spaces are accessible. However,
it's not going to change people's hearts. So we need
(40:59):
to change people's hearts. And he toasted, here's to change hearts,
So we need to move Yeah, he was a man
with brittle bone disease. I forget his name. But we
need to change people's hearts. Right. We can change laws,
like Ben said, we can try to hold off. Can
(41:20):
we make the twenty four week abortion law a twenty
two or a twenty or a fifteen week? But that's
not changing people's hearts. We need to change people's hearts
and minds, and only the gospel does that.
Speaker 1 (41:36):
Yeah, is there a website for the foster care in
New Hampshire.
Speaker 4 (41:43):
There is. Let me just look up an email. I
think it's DCYF Okay, let me just see all right,
it is www dot d h h S dot nh
(42:06):
dot gov backslash foster care.
Speaker 2 (42:10):
Okay, right, we'll include that. We'll include that in the
show notes for for our listeners. Laurie, So, I just
want to you said something earlier, you said the foster
care system needs help. Were you saying that Christians and
churches should step up and become foster parents or were
you suggesting something else?
Speaker 4 (42:30):
Yes, no, no, yeah, step up, become foster parents. You know,
we're providing respite as we can because we have a
handicap accessible home. But you know, I'm a widow and
I have been and Sam, we don't have. It's not
easy for us to do. And these especially young boys
(42:52):
need they need a dad, you know, they need a
foster dad. So yeah, I think if if God, families
who love the Lord and love life, yeah, step up
and give it a try. And you know when they
first asked me to do Restpit last year, I laid
in bed and I probably for probably two or three
(43:14):
nights beforehand, I had a really hard time sleeping. I
was so afraid. I'm like, can I do this? Because
I didn't have a lot of caregiving help and isn't
going to be up all night and and and it
was such a blessing. He's such a blessing. It's hard,
(43:34):
but I the blessing's far outweigh the trials.
Speaker 2 (43:38):
So yeah, I think I think we're Bible versus yeah
to share.
Speaker 4 (43:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (43:49):
Yeah. So when I saw the note that said, you know,
what are your hobbies? And for me, like, I love
classical music, and I love food and a lot of
other things. But for me, the main thing is I
wanted to find the truth spiritually, and I wanted to
learn the Bible. I've been working on a for the
last like three or four years. I'm learning the Bible.
(44:11):
And for me, theile I'm a Bible believer. So I
came to a conviction that I believe the King James
Bible is the only Bible, and when I look into it,
I find it as the authority for my life. And
so I thought, what does God think about life? So
when you look in the Bible and Genesis nine. Genesis
nine was right after Noah got off the arc with
(44:32):
his family and got an institute a government. And he
said that whoso shed is man's blood by man, shall
his blood be shed in the image of God. Man
was made. In Deuteronomy thirty, verse nineteen, in the Law,
it says, I call heaven and earth to record this
day against you that I've said before you life and death,
(44:55):
blessing is and cursing, blessing and cursing. Therefore, choose life,
both thou and thy seed may live. In Psalm ten
and Some one thirty nine by David and some kind
of talks about the wicked man and that in the
secret places he murders the innocent. But in Someone thirty
nine it says in verse fifteen, my substance was not
(45:20):
hit from the fee when I was made in secret,
So when murdering the secret places, you can apply that
to that verse. And basically what it's saying is that's
murdering that innocent life in the womb, in that secret
place of the mother's womb, that God knew, God knew
us before we were, before we were even born. And
(45:41):
then when I think about another verse, when I was
in front of the Judiciary Committee for the Senate in
twenty twenty three. I use the verse from proverb six.
These six things doth the Lord hate, seven are an
abomination unto him, And it gives a list of these things.
And in verse seventeen it says hands that shed innocent blood.
(46:03):
I read that to that committee, and in a wheelchair,
I read that to them. And then I thought of
John ten verse ten. The thief cometh not but forged
to steal and to kill and to destroy. And Jesus said,
I am come that they might have life, and that
they may have it more abundantly. You know, when I
(46:26):
got saved at eight years old and trusted Christ, it
was because of John three point sixty, where talks about
for God to love the world, that he gave us
only begotten son, that who's whoever believed in him should
not perish, but should have everlasting life. And Jesus said,
I am the Way, the Truth and the life. Of course,
(46:47):
Jesus talked about eternal life. Now his words were spirit
and they were life. But through all that you can
see how God affirms life all over the scripture. There's
many more verses, so anyone.
Speaker 4 (46:59):
That don't ask him, because he will recite them all.
Speaker 3 (47:02):
The only one that uses the Bible, like I have
heard at the State House people using the Bible to
say that abortion is a right for people, saying that
since a suicide is okay, that is not a firm
by scripture. God affirms life throughout the Bible.
Speaker 2 (47:19):
Man.
Speaker 4 (47:21):
Yeah, and then we'll be preaching this Sunday at kid
pastor is on vacation, so if anybody wants to hear,
what is your message on Sunday.
Speaker 3 (47:34):
So I'm going to be looking at a fuller understanding
of the new Birth and Sunday school But in the
morning service, I'm going to be talking about a Christian
attitude toward infirmities and for me personally, my infirmities my disability.
So I talked about my disability bringing glory to God.
We'll be discussing how infirmities affect our lives, how that
(47:56):
is shown in the Bible, and how we can have
a Christian attitude, remembering that this is not all there
is anyway.
Speaker 4 (48:03):
We'll be a pillar Baptist church if anybody wants to
join us this Sunday. Sunday schools at nine thirty in
the morning services at ten thirty. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (48:14):
Yeah, thank God, bless bless that message through you, Ben,
thank you, change many hearts.
Speaker 4 (48:21):
Yes, well, thank you.
Speaker 1 (48:23):
Should we close in prayer?
Speaker 4 (48:25):
Jason?
Speaker 2 (48:26):
Sure? Well, God, I thank you for these wonderful guests,
the the anointing you've given them to preach good news
Lord in New Hampshire and internationally. Lord, would you would
you please bless them and continue to fill them with
(48:46):
your spirit so that they may do the good works
you've called them too? And Jesus name, Yeah, Amen, thank you?
Speaker 1 (48:56):
What do you Laurie? Ben and I'll with Sam earlier.
It's been such an honor to just spend some time
with you all and hear your your lives and really
just encourage us all to run run the race like
(49:17):
you are you are, to run the race well, to
fight the good fight of faith.
Speaker 4 (49:23):
Yeah, thanks for all you do. We appreciate you both.
Speaker 2 (49:28):
Thank you all right, to see you soon. Take care,
I'll see you at the next hearing.
Speaker 3 (49:33):
Sounds good.
Speaker 1 (49:36):
That's episode. Goodbye everyone, Ye.
Speaker 9 (49:39):
Thank you for listening to the Ever Living Podcast. If
you have scripture questions or things you'd like to share,
please feel free to email us at ever livingpod at
gmail dot com. Also make sure to follow us on
Instagram at ever dot Living podcast and if you liked
this podcast, please make sure to subscribe and share with
(49:59):
a friend and give us a five star review.
Speaker 5 (50:02):
See you next week.
Speaker 9 (50:03):
May God bless you and be very near to you,
and may you be ever living
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