183. Our Favorite Boat Movies!

We’re on a boat! Well, quite a few of them actually. Christine and Emily go on a sailing expedition to discuss their favorite maritime movies. There will be pirates, snakes, ghosts, mystery, machetes, violins, time loops, and multiple Billy Zanes. Zip up that life vest and come aboard!

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:04):
Where you weave.

Speaker 2 (00:22):
It's an old live story said, it's a nold lives tale.
I say, love is glory until your love so frail
m m though.

Speaker 3 (00:37):
Then needs a bandage and tense silk care.

Speaker 2 (00:43):
And it's this sad advantage when you play the unfair
if you tread more around romances on the side, don't
you know?

Speaker 3 (01:00):
Oh, you have to swarm up something just a gig
club and.

Speaker 1 (01:14):
Welcome to a special maritime edition of The Feminine Critique.

Speaker 4 (01:19):
I'm Emily, I'm your ship's captain.

Speaker 1 (01:23):
No, you'd be the captain, you'd be the captain.

Speaker 4 (01:25):
Skipper, Christine, I'm skipper.

Speaker 1 (01:28):
Is that?

Speaker 4 (01:28):
No, that's the captain. I don't know.

Speaker 1 (01:30):
I think skipper is post because Gillian the skipper to
the skipper. Yeah, theiper is captain. Do you want to
be Gilligan in the scenario?

Speaker 4 (01:38):
I don't know. I don't want a lot of response.

Speaker 1 (01:40):
I did not. I finally got to the point where
I'm pretty good driving and I can like confidently say that,
and then when I tell my friends that, they laugh
at me and say, no, you're not.

Speaker 4 (01:48):
So.

Speaker 1 (01:48):
I just don't feel like I should be the captain.
I think I should be like not the first mate.
I should be the not the decade. I don't know
what job I'd have enough. I would be, let's face it,
I would be the MC like entertainment director.

Speaker 4 (02:03):
I think, Oh, well, I was thinking that you could
be missus Howell Lovey. Yeah, I'm really deep Gilligan's Island
lore for all them folks out there.

Speaker 1 (02:13):
Yeah, that's that's fair, that that's where I land.

Speaker 4 (02:15):
Definitely, Yeah, you could or like the glamorous movie star.

Speaker 1 (02:19):
Oh you're too kind. Well, folks, if you haven't figured
it out, today, we're going to talk about boat on boats.

Speaker 4 (02:27):
And I had no intention of talking about Gilligan's Island.
So I'm glad we got that out.

Speaker 1 (02:31):
Of the well. I mean, you have to start somewhere.

Speaker 5 (02:33):
It is.

Speaker 4 (02:34):
It is a television show about a boat that crashed.
I guess young people know Gilligan's Island. Maybe it's like
a casual reference. I know that there there was that
uptick of like younger folks really watching the Office and
they have on their boat episode. Essentially they have a
lot of so maybe they know by osmosis because.

Speaker 1 (02:58):
It's kind of the equivalent like Loogan violand was no
on like Live when we were kids. It was just
always in reruns and always on TV, so every kid
knew everything about Coligan's Island, same way we knew Brady
Bunch and other shows that were much before our time.

Speaker 6 (03:11):
Ye.

Speaker 1 (03:12):
So yeah, it was a big, big part of our
understanding of what life in a deserted island would look like.

Speaker 4 (03:16):
Coconut radios galore.

Speaker 1 (03:19):
We should hold off, though, because at some point we
will do island movies. But the way this came up
is I was thinking, like, hey, like, we haven't had
a list episodes in a while, and those are fun. Yeah,
and Christine said, yeah, I've been I have lists. And
Christine gave me like this amazing list of like twenty
different list based conversations we could have and one of
them was boats. And I'm like, let's talk about movies

(03:40):
on boats.

Speaker 4 (03:42):
I like a good self contained story, just period, and
I really like so this a lot of times. I
get it. Okay, that's all I'm gonna say. But when
you're looking at lists of movies on boats, people want
to talk about submarines. Again, I get it. That's not
what I want to do, though. I want to talk
about submarines, and it's time to talk about submarines. But

(04:04):
I really like how boats are like contained and like
you know, like a shark movie, like a like a
forty seven meters down shit. You have your own kind
of set of like elements you're up against. It brings
up unique challenges. Oh yeah, so I think you know
a lot can be done in that in that very
specific setting. I agree.

Speaker 1 (04:24):
I think what I love about when you said movies
on boats. To me, the beauty of any story told
on a boat is that you have this like gorgeous
insane dichotomy of a boat being a very contained, finite space. Right.
If somebody is chasing you on a boat, there are
only so many places you can hide. On a boat,

(04:45):
it's like a house, right, It is a a one structure.
Usually even a big one is fairly small. There are
only so many places you can be. And yet if
you are on a boat in the ocean, the irony
is you're on this very contained vessel end of least
contained space in the world. And so it's both like
overwhelming because once you jump off that boat, it's just

(05:07):
no man's land. But in the boat it is, you know,
a tiny room. And I love when those two things
like work against each other and work with each other.
So I feel like it is such a good setting.
I understand why a lot of movies aren't made on
them because they're expensive. Anytime you're dealing with water, that's
a lot you have to know how to film if
you're filming on a boat or creating a boat, because
you want that whole like structure of like you want

(05:31):
to make sure you know the geography. And it's kind
of in some ways, it's sort of like it's like
space and spaceships, but very different, right, the difference being
if you jump off a boat, you have a chance.
If you jump out of spaceship you do not.

Speaker 4 (05:43):
Oh yeah, no, you're done.

Speaker 1 (05:45):
We've all seen Mission to Marks. We know what happened,
we know what happens to So with that being said,
do you like boats?

Speaker 4 (05:52):
Also?

Speaker 1 (05:52):
Like do you ride boats? What is your boating experience?
Captain Christine?

Speaker 4 (05:56):
So, I used to take the ferry every morning to
work for about like a year and a half, maybe
a little longer. I enjoyed it quite a bit. I
used to take the Staten Island ferry just for like
a larf, because why not. I don't like small boats.
They make me nervous. Honestly, I don't like big boats.
They make me nervous. I don't like the water. It

(06:17):
makes me nervous, just like space. I feel like there's
just some places we don't belong.

Speaker 1 (06:24):
I get it.

Speaker 4 (06:25):
Yeah, in the water it's one of them. But I
like a boat. I've never been on a cruise. They
seem gross and weird.

Speaker 1 (06:32):
They's terrible. Yeah, but like sure, a boat.

Speaker 4 (06:35):
You know that's how we used to go places, right, Yeah,
I am.

Speaker 1 (06:40):
I think both you and I grew up in places
that were near water and involved ferries and boats on occasion.

Speaker 6 (06:47):
So I.

Speaker 1 (06:50):
Don't ever I was trying to think this through. Do
I know anybody that owns a boat, like an actual
like boat they would take out? And I think it
was like friends of friends of friends when I was
a kid, like some somebody would occasionally be like, Hey,
we're gonna go on my uncle's boat, but it wasn't
a common occurrence. And I'm the reverse of you. I
like a small boat. I don't. I don't like fairies.
I've had to I have to take them here and there.

(07:11):
Obviously Long Island, Connecticut and all that. I find fairies
kind of make me feel the same way buses do.
I get a little nauseous on them. It's like too
much of that like mix of like big mechanical smells
but also the ocean, and I don't like when they mix.
But like little like canoes, like a canoe. I like
like little like oh, we're hopping in this boat to
go like from fire island to the other island, like

(07:32):
that kind of thing. So I like them. I don't
know never uh, never had a terrible experience in one
yet oh shit, just waiting for it. But again, it's
it's a good place to set something. So with that
being said, we both of us just made our own lists.
I have no idea what's on Christine, she doesn't know
what's on mine. Of movies we enjoy on boats, and

(07:55):
then there's some other stuff going on. So Christine, without
further ado, tell me about one of your favorite boat movies.

Speaker 4 (08:04):
So one of my favorite boat movies would have to
be Dead Calm.

Speaker 1 (08:11):
Yep, that's on my list too.

Speaker 4 (08:12):
I started big because why not, like why bother easing
into it? So Dead Calm does what you were talking
about really, because it's not just a boat. It's like
dose boats. There's two boats. There's the boat in peril
and then the boat that Nicole Kidman.

Speaker 6 (08:32):
Is on, and it does so much with so little.
It it uses when I want, when I say a
good boat movie, I want to.

Speaker 4 (08:43):
Be told a story that could literally not be told
anywhere else. Yes, and that story cannot exist outside of
the boats in that movie. And and then also it's
a good movie on top of it, with really good
performances like really Zane and Sam Neil. And it's like
very of the time even but like a really strong
thriller that happens to be on a boat.

Speaker 1 (09:06):
It was. It was the first one I thought of
when I was trying to think it through, because I
think you make the great point this is a movie
that is only works on a boat like that is
a huge part of it is this middle of the ocean.
Nobody can hear them, nobody can find them. You don't
know what to trust, so you you decide to help
Billy's an because he's you know, seems like he needs help. Yeah.

(09:29):
I Also I love something I love about like any
kind of beach set movie or a movie that's like
takes place in a environment like that, is the idea
that like, yeah, you're always wearing beach clothing, right, that
means like sometimes you're not wearing anything, like you're just
in a bathing suit, You're just in shorts. Like there's
something about that that vary to me, like immediately puts
me in that space because.

Speaker 4 (09:49):
You're going like vulnerable, right it is.

Speaker 1 (09:51):
Yeah, really Sane is like in teeny tiny swimming trunks
for most of that movie, and he is at his
like peak fitness, and I mean he is like a
specimen in that movie. And he is also fucking terrifying
scar yep. And that he is like just so bare
in it just makes it that much more horrifying. There's

(10:12):
a That's a movie that to me also always I
always think of it like as a weird exception of
a movie. It's the one exception where I'm like kind
of rooting for the this is terrible to say out loud,
kind of rooting for that dog to die because that
dog is kind of an asshole in that movie.

Speaker 4 (10:26):
Ah, I love that dog.

Speaker 1 (10:27):
It's a great dog. And he actually read from one
I remember watching that movie when I was dog sitting
and the dog I was dog sitting was like hated
other dogs. So whenever he heard barking, he would flip out,
So I kept having to mute the movie in the
dog part. So that's a personal thing. But also like
there's a great moment where Nicole Cammin throws the keys
off the boat to like because then you know Samuel

(10:47):
is trying to get the boat or not Samuel, Billy
Zan's trying to get it away from them, and the
dog goes after them and brings them to Billy's ay
and not her. But that also could speak to her
and not being a good dog dog a dog on her.
So I digress, Dead Calm. A great boat movie. It
really is.

Speaker 4 (11:00):
And if you have not seen it, or you're a
little bit put off for some reason by like the
nineteen what is it eighty nine?

Speaker 1 (11:07):
Eighty nine?

Speaker 4 (11:07):
Yeah, geez, the nineteen eighty nine, like timestamp on it, Come.

Speaker 1 (11:12):
On, get over yourself. Let's let's Australia, so for all
you know, that's still how they are.

Speaker 4 (11:16):
Come on, for real, it's it is. It is very
it's got a dreamy quality. I don't know, it's really great.

Speaker 1 (11:23):
It's the waters. I love to a boat movie. The
water is very blue, Like that's important to me in
a movie.

Speaker 4 (11:28):
Yeah, it's it sets the stage. It's great. I want
to watch it right now. Excellent choice, good choice us.

Speaker 1 (11:34):
All right, so I'll go with the next one.

Speaker 5 (11:36):
Then.

Speaker 1 (11:36):
I wonder if this one made your list, because this
is a movie that, while the boat is not what
you think of in the movie, I think the fact
that the ensemble cast is on this boat for most
of the movie does affect a lot of what's going on,
and that is a little classic, a franchise starter, a
movie that built careers. I am obviously talking about Anaconda.

Speaker 4 (12:01):
Oh okay, so this is not on my list. I
did see it come up when I was researching other lists.
I just don't have like any fond feelings for this movie.
So I would love to hear you talk about it.

Speaker 1 (12:14):
Well, okay, my older brother Adam, this was his favorite
film for a very long time, and he wasn't like
a kid when he saw this. He was, I think
in his twenties, but he just became obsessed with so funny,
and he like made sure as soon as it came
on video, He's like, you have to watch the Anaconda.
And I did, and I actually really enjoyed it, and
I still do. I think anaconda is one of those,

(12:34):
like I hate to be like, they don't make them
like this anymore, but there is something about anaconda that
feels very You get that kind of movie every once
in a while where you have this very hot just
before a lot of them are famous, asked right. You've
got Jennifer Lopez kind of right ish, she's gonna make
it big. But then you also have like, what's his name? Eric?

(12:55):
Why am I suddenly blinking on? Eric Stoltz. You have
Air Stoltz there, you have a young Owen Wilson. You
have John Voight, just I mean, John Voight terrible, terrible
human being, idiot, all these things. But when John Voight
is an anaconda, the world forgives him because he's so
weird in it, and a lot of the like, you know,

(13:18):
kind of you're in the Amazon, but yet you're claustrophobic
because you can't really run out into the forest and
because you're going to get eaten by something, maybe an anaconda,
maybe something else, so instead you're on this kind of
rickety old boat for much of it. So I don't know,
it's not a movie I think of often with the
boat itself but it is a big part of the movie.

Speaker 4 (13:38):
You're right. I've seen it a few times. It just
never connects with me snating, but doesn't the snake eat
John Voight hole It.

Speaker 1 (13:45):
Does, and then it spits him out, and then John
Boight comes out on his knees and he winks at
Jennifer Lopez and then does It's beautiful spoiler alert to Annaconda.

Speaker 4 (13:53):
That is what I remember about it.

Speaker 1 (13:55):
It's a beautiful moment. Beautiful moment.

Speaker 4 (13:58):
Ooh, I have a really good one. Yeah, so this
movie I like doing the lead up. This movie is
pretty much universally reviled, if not completely forgotten about, except
for its opening. It also has one of the best
title cards of all fucking time. And I will fight

(14:18):
you in the street if you disagree.

Speaker 1 (14:20):
It's ghost Ship obviously, and I've still only seen the
opening of ghost Ship because that is a fucking great opening.

Speaker 4 (14:28):
It's so it's it's a tremendous opening. It kind of
speaks to what you were saying about Anaconda past. Wise,
there's not a single person in this cast that you
don't recognize. That's just a fact. You know, you might
not know why you know them when you're looking at them,
but you one hundred percent have seen them in a
bunch of stuff. And I like that feeling, especially like

(14:48):
in an early two thousands movie. It feels very nostalgic.
So for a very long time, obviously people would be like,
kind of like, what's that one without the House with
Matthew Lillard Thirteen Ghosts. For a while, people were like,
thirteen Ghosts is awful, but I kind of like it.
Oh wait, no, it's good. That's kind of how I feel.

Speaker 7 (15:07):
Well.

Speaker 4 (15:07):
I feel that way about thirteen Ghosts, but I feel
that way about this too, about Ghosts Ship. The last
time I watched it, I went, oh, wait a second,
this is a good movie. Everyone's wrong. We didn't know.

Speaker 1 (15:17):
We didn't know.

Speaker 4 (15:18):
It was one of those where like we had it's
on a boat, it's on a ship. Yeah, and all
these actors act in their asses off. Julianna Margalli's like
scrapping out ocean liners. What are we talking about here?

Speaker 1 (15:31):
People?

Speaker 4 (15:32):
Why are we not all on board with this?

Speaker 1 (15:34):
I need to watch it. I need to sit down
and watch it. Be getting ten because I have. I
have watched the first five minutes of it. It shows up,
you know, what. It shows up a lot during Halloween
on AMC. It's one of those movies in the rotation.
One of these days, I just I need to just
stream it and actually watch it in its entirety.

Speaker 4 (15:51):
I think it's interesting and it's got kind of like
intrigue and a twist, and it's like, what's actually going
on here? The order that people like die or aren't
there anymore in is really interesting and nice. I don't know,
and kind of like what I said, you can't really
tell this story not on a boat. Yeah, that's important

(16:13):
and it's cool. I think everyone should watch this one
as well.

Speaker 1 (16:16):
I'm going to. So I'm gonna go on that note
with another spooky movie, and it's one I only discovered
this past year. I was on Amazon Prime. I don't
know where it is now. It's a nineteen seventy something
TV movie called Satan's Triangle and it is a it's
very short, it's like seventy five minutes even that, and

(16:40):
it's like two coastguard pilots land on a boat that's
just in the middle of the ocean. They don't know
why it's there, and they can't get ahold of anybody,
and they land and there is a woman it's Kim Novak,
like a kind of in an odd time in her career,
and there's meanwhile, there is a priest hanging from like
the big mast, and there is another dead body and

(17:00):
she's there saying like this is haunted, something is wrong.
And it is just a really good, spooky, quick made
for TV ghost story. It's very seventies. It has a
great ending, really wonderful ending, and again, like you're saying,
it's just the guy lands on this boat and then
that's it, Like he's there. There's only so many places

(17:22):
he can go on this boat until he waits for
help to come, if it's going to come. And it's spooky.
It feels very like you can. You feel like you
could turn this into like a campfire ghost story very easily.
And I found it so rich and I hope more
people find it so Setan's.

Speaker 4 (17:39):
Triangle, I think I remember you mentioning it.

Speaker 1 (17:42):
I was very excited when I did.

Speaker 4 (17:44):
Yeah, yeah, that sounds good.

Speaker 1 (17:46):
Good times. I think you'd like it.

Speaker 4 (17:48):
It's interesting too, because I have a few spooky boat movies,
and it seems like you you have a few spooky
boat movies. It's a good cross section. It wouldn't you
wuldn't necessarily think it would be. But so that brings
me to Triangle.

Speaker 1 (18:05):
I had a feeling this would be on there. Yep,
I had a tentatively online. But I'm like Christine's gonna say, wait.

Speaker 4 (18:10):
You you were a champion of this movie for a
while and I didn't see it until, like I can
actually check because I have it logged semi recently. Twenty
twenty two was when I first watched.

Speaker 1 (18:20):
Yeah, I feel like I caught it quickly after everybody
was talking about it back what is this two thousand
and like not nine? Wow? Wow, I pulled that one out.

Speaker 4 (18:31):
Yeah, so it's if you don't know, it's uh, Melissa George, right, yeah,
Melissa George on.

Speaker 1 (18:38):
A boat to be confused with. Who's the actress that
she looks exactly like? Such is an r the one
from Silent Hill.

Speaker 4 (18:48):
I guess it doesn't Rhodemitrate. No, no, no, let's cape
and sell that's something that she's another person to look alike.

Speaker 1 (18:57):
Yeah, there's a yes, well because Running Hill Rudemitri as
the woman. I watched Underworld three the entire time. I
didn't realize she wasn't keep bucking sale, Rodi Mitchell, we
were That's why you were saying. Roda Mitchell and Melissa
George not the same person, correct.

Speaker 4 (19:09):
Melissa George is a lovely actress, lovely to watch. I
just never really heard people talking about this movie, which
is really strange because it's it is fantastic, and I,
I don't know. I guess that time period we talk
about it sometimes that like late two thousands could be

(19:31):
a little touch and go for horror, depending on the creators,
the budget where you were looking. So I maybe this
was just a case of this was marketed in a
way that made me feel like it wasn't for me
at the time, and I kind of just had to
find it myself. But it is a really fantastic I guess,
I don't know. I wouldn't call it a time loop,

(19:52):
but maybe like a time loopy movie, time.

Speaker 1 (19:55):
Loopy, very heavy time loopy things going on. Yeah, So,
like I guess that's a fair way to describe it.
There's a lot more going on.

Speaker 4 (20:02):
But like if you like that kind of like vibe,
this movie might not be rejecting to you that that's
what it is, but that's what it is.

Speaker 1 (20:11):
And it's almost like one of those things where you
it's one of those movies where it's great to go
in not knowing anything, because then it makes everything really
surprising because it starts like a very traditional movie, and
then when you realize there's something more going on, it's
a big like what But then the flip is like,
it's harder to get somebody to watch this movie if
you don't convince them like, no, no, no, there's some

(20:31):
really cool shit going down.

Speaker 4 (20:33):
Yeah for real? If it I guess maybe if you
thought it was just like a slasher or something on
a boat, that might not be as fun as what
it really is.

Speaker 1 (20:42):
Yeah, yeah, good way of looking at it. All Right,
I am going to pivot to my other favorite genre,
which after horror, would be what musical?

Speaker 4 (20:55):
Yes, is this a musical on a boat?

Speaker 1 (20:57):
There's a musical on a boat?

Speaker 4 (20:58):
What is there?

Speaker 1 (20:59):
There's several musicals on boats, So I mean, you've got
HMS Pinafore, You've.

Speaker 4 (21:02):
Got oh, is that the one that that psycho Bob sings?

Speaker 1 (21:05):
That's Pinfour. Often confused with the Pirates of Penzance, they
are both, and they're both musicals that involve like pirate
try and ships and such. However, I'm not here to
talk about the Pirates of Penzance. Could Steve make peace?
I am I find you might well, I am here
to talk about the greatest thing that came out of
the Pirates of Penzance, which is a little movie from

(21:28):
nineteen eighty two, the year we were both born, the
greatest year of all time, not just because we were born,
but also because it created this movie. And this is
one of those movies that my older sister was obsessed
with as a kid. And for you for like that
period of time between let's say, like when we were
late teenagers to like late twenties, when it took time

(21:53):
to be like, did I imagine this was this a
real thing? Because I can't find any information on this movie,
and because it was I think did not have a
DVD released for a very long time, you couldn't like
find people talking about it. In my head, I'm like,
it's the Pirates of pans Aance, but it's not the
Pirates of Penzance. It's like a modern telling of it,
but it's not modern because it is set in old timeies,
but then at the end they come back to the

(22:14):
new timeies. It's eighties and what is it. It's like,
we should just call it the Pirate Movie. But I
don't think that's the title. No, it is the Pirate Movie.
That is the title of this movie, The Pirate Movie.

Speaker 4 (22:24):
That's quite the journey it is.

Speaker 1 (22:26):
And again it's like songs from Pirates of Pen's Aance,
but they're updated to be like eighties lyrics and such.
It's Christy McNichol and Christopher Atkins.

Speaker 4 (22:37):
I'm checking it out now you have heard like this.

Speaker 1 (22:39):
I remember. I feel like I might have made it
like a recommend for a Gentleman's Guide back in the
day because it had like a little bit of like
our community watching it, because I think I was the
one that kept pushing it because I'm like, people, this
is a real movie. Everybody needs to see it.

Speaker 8 (22:52):
Yeah, I mean, it doesn't sound completely made up, but
like if I'm looking at the cover art on letterbox,
it doesn't look familiar, Like the name of it doesn't
seem familiar to me.

Speaker 4 (23:08):
Also, I'm realizing now I do not have a singular
movie with any type of pirate or swashbuckling.

Speaker 1 (23:14):
L Okay, I got there, So that.

Speaker 4 (23:16):
Shows where my interests were at Yeah, I never had
a pirate phase.

Speaker 7 (23:23):
Oh I did.

Speaker 1 (23:23):
I still do. I love a good pirate story.

Speaker 4 (23:26):
I love that. I don't know why it doesn't connect
to me and with me, and I feel like it's
really left me out on an entire like history of filmmaking.

Speaker 1 (23:35):
Did did you go to Disney as a child? Did
you have a moment at Pirates of the Caribbean that
like imprinted on you.

Speaker 4 (23:42):
I've never been to Disney, Okay, because I feel like
that for.

Speaker 1 (23:44):
Me was a big moment of like, this is the
coolest three minutes of my life. Because then for years
we didn't have pirate movies, and then every now and
then they tried to make one and it would fail miserably.
But the Pirate movie was always there in the back
of my mind, and I just didn't know if it
was real. But it's it's so it's really stupid. It's
it's fun like it's intended to. Again, it was contended to,

(24:06):
like I think, connect with young people. It was sort
of Xanaduey in that way. But I have not been
able to watch it in a long time because it's
not that easily defined. But it's it's a good time
it's a Parra movie.

Speaker 4 (24:18):
I mean it sounds kind of like Teen Witch but
not really.

Speaker 1 (24:22):
No, but it is, yeah, I would say even like
musically it has a lot in common with Teen Witch,
just in the way like these are songs, but they
feel like music videos. But it's sort of trying to
be within the story but also not No, it's very
much of that era.

Speaker 4 (24:39):
That's very funny. Well, maybe I'll watch that one day
if I'm feeling sassy. So I have one that's completely different,
let's hear it. Okay. So I've seen this movie a
few times. The details they elude me because I always
watch it when I'm watching a glut of other murder
myst but it's probably one of my favorite murder mysteries.

(25:04):
And it's fantastic and it's on a boat. It's called
The Last of Shila.

Speaker 1 (25:10):
I don't know what this is. So when.

Speaker 4 (25:15):
Knives Out came out or was coming out and back
when that was happening, Ryan Johnson mentioned this, okay, as
like one of his like seminal murder mysteries or a
murder mystery he really liked, or who done it he
really liked, and it kind of kicked up people talking
about it and finding it. So I watched it for
the first time back then, and I guess it's it's

(25:37):
fallen a little bit back into obscurity, which makes me sad.
But it's like such a good who done it on
a boat?

Speaker 1 (25:42):
I have never heard of it, so I'm really intrigued.

Speaker 7 (25:47):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (25:47):
It's a year after Shila is killed in a hit
and run, her multi millionaire husband invites a group of
friends to spend a week on his yacht playing a
scavenger hunt style mystery game.

Speaker 1 (26:00):
I like it.

Speaker 4 (26:01):
So it's like, and it's what is it seventy three? Yeah,
seventy three, so it's like in the seventies and like
it has that look and we're doing murder mystery shit
and James Koburn is there, so it's like, well, okay,
James Mason and this too. Hold on, yeah, James Mason
is there, so come on, I don't know, I'm you know,

(26:22):
I'm like, I who done it? Fan? So when you
say like things on a boat, my first thing was
I was trying to think of my favorite movie in
each genre.

Speaker 1 (26:33):
That would yeah, it happens to me on a boat.
I like that approach. I just certain that I have
enough of those.

Speaker 4 (26:39):
I really like boats, so this this to me, is
not just a good boat movie because it does, you know,
do that thing we've been talking about. It limits your
options like of who did it because it's a boat
and what's happening because it's a boat, but also like, yeah,
it's it's a good who done it too, so you

(27:00):
can't really go wrong.

Speaker 1 (27:01):
I like it so having gone through the or not
gone through, but I like that you have these like
super super rare gems of like discovery, and I have
reached the portion where I am going to go through
the ones that are like the most obvious boat movies,
but that I think are very enjoyable.

Speaker 4 (27:20):
Oh that's great because they're clearly not on my.

Speaker 1 (27:23):
Probably not well, you know what, because my first one,
it's the it's the first one. Look again, for years
we didn't have pirate movies. We had Cut through an
Island and it failed miserably, and then everybody was like,
we'll never make a pirate movie again. So then cut
to the year, I guess it's what two thousand and three,
with there's like all this news of this big budget
pirate movie in production and all of the the same

(27:45):
way they wrote about water World, like all the writing
of this movie was that it was going to be
such a bomb because it just was not gonna work.
But eight came out and I'm like, look, this might
be my only chance to see a big budget pirate
movie again. So I went with my friend to see
Pirates of the Caribbean and the The Black Pearl. And
you know what, I left that movie eating so fucking
pumped because that first Pirate Pirates of the Caribbean movie

(28:06):
is a blast.

Speaker 4 (28:08):
I don't really remember it. I remember watching it like
on like this, like home media, like some re rented
it when it came out, and I think that's the
one that heavily features the monkey.

Speaker 1 (28:21):
Right, there's there's the monkeys and all of them, but
he's definitely in that one a lot. He's Jeff because
he's Jeffrey Ush's monkey. There we go. Yeah, Yeah, he's
like stealing things and everything.

Speaker 4 (28:29):
Yeah, And I remember being like, Wow, this monkey is
really great. And that's I always think back, like, well,
if that was my immediate reaction, I clearly was not
connecting with anything else, but I think that's so wild.
I didn't. So did you.

Speaker 1 (28:44):
Fall off?

Speaker 4 (28:45):
Did you not enjoy them or did you just stop
seeing them.

Speaker 1 (28:48):
I watched the first I saw the for the trilogy,
I guess if you will. And I think that first
film is just it feels so fresh because you did
not have a movie like that that invests did so
much money into like big set pieces, Like yes, like
the actual ghost stuff is very cgi heavy, but they're
also on a friggin' ship, like they are they are

(29:09):
in the ocean filming it, and so a lot of
those stunts, a lot of like the boat feels like
a boat, like you understand the geography of that boat.
I think it's cast really well. I think I like
this was that era where I remember being very like,
I'm team Kiera Knightley, not team Natalie Portman. If Kiera
Knightley had been Padme, then the Star Wars movies would
have been better because I think Kiera Knightley is like

(29:31):
a star is born in the first Pirates movie. I
think she's like great and energetic and like you root
for her and I know he is a trash human being.
But at the time, and even upon rewatch of that
first film, Johnny Depp in Pirates comes into a movie
like a Disney movie that is a two hundred million
dollar movie. Probably at the time, i'd have been less

(29:53):
and says I'm gonna do my own weird thing and
and it's gonna work, trust me on it. And apparently
like the entire you're filming like every day, the producers
were like, you need to reel him in. He needs
to stop doing that, and they didn't, and it did
work because he actually did know what he was doing.
In this very traditional you have your young heroes, you

(30:14):
have your young romance, and then you have this weird
outlier of a character that makes that movie really something
weird and special. And then the problem is Part two
comes and you realize, oh no, now they're really like
trying to draw this out into a lot of movies
and then getting a little tired of the shtick. And
then Part three comes. I don't remember anything about Part
three by the time that happens, and I think they

(30:35):
made what like three more that I've just never even
bothered with.

Speaker 4 (30:38):
There's a surprising amount every time that I look, I'm like, oh,
I didn't realize they.

Speaker 1 (30:43):
Made one in X year, right, And like how many
different subtitles there are? Like I'll try to do trivia
with them, and I'm like, Okay, here's the Black Pearl
and wait, dead Man's Chest or Booty of the Something
or Davy Jones Live, I don't know. And I realized like,
oh no, I have seen a tiny midgeon of this series,
and yet all the movies are two and a half
hours long.

Speaker 4 (31:03):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (31:04):
Yeah, but I will vouch for that first one.

Speaker 4 (31:06):
I get that. I mean it was it was a
different time, and you're not wrong about like the sets
and the costuming obviously, and the commitment to trying to
make it this be this whole world. It clearly paid
off because it land launched this franchise we're now complaining
about exactly. So yeah, I think what's funny is when

(31:27):
you started to describe that movie, I was like, wait
a second, is she talking about my next movie? But
you're not.

Speaker 1 (31:35):
I'm not.

Speaker 4 (31:36):
Also in two thousand and three, this is a movie
that I only saw once very recently, and I'm terrified
to watch it again because I'm afraid it'll lose the
magic of that first time. I can't believe such a poetic, beautiful, masculine,
gorgeous movie exists, and like people don't talk about it

(32:00):
all the time, it's Mastering Commander the Far Side of
the World.

Speaker 1 (32:02):
Oh, that was the next one on my list. Yep.

Speaker 4 (32:05):
But also in two thousand and three.

Speaker 1 (32:06):
I didn't know. I had forgotten that they were the
same year because I think because both of those ended
up being surprising Oscar movies.

Speaker 4 (32:14):
Yeah, that's weird, and I guess it was in the
zeitgeist we were feeling.

Speaker 1 (32:17):
Both suddenly were like, let's do it, Let's go to
the ocean. Yeah, Master Commander of the Press of the World.
Is it like it's one of those movies show to
anyone and nobody's gonna want to watch it. Nobody's gonna
be like outside and what a two and a half
hour movie with the Russell Crowe about like ships, but
it's not even about pirates, it's just about what now?
And yet you sit anybody down for that movie. I

(32:39):
remember I was so excited to show to Branninguse he'd
never seen it, and he was like, I don't remember.
I'm like, no, trust me, sit down, you're gonna love it.
And so over I look at him and he's like
that's great, Like yeah, yeah, it's it's like the way
there's a handful of movies that you can like mention
in any room, and you know you're gonna have people

(33:00):
be like, yeah, great movie. And that's when.

Speaker 4 (33:03):
Yeah, and you want to fold your arms about it
for real, you want to be very like Because I
actually only watched that in twenty twenty three.

Speaker 1 (33:11):
So I remember when you watched it. I was so
sad for you.

Speaker 4 (33:13):
And I think Zach championed it and I and we
had been doing a lot of sub movies, like I
love submarine movies, and he was, you know, in the
spirit of that this is actually a good movie, and
you like Russell Crowe. I do like Russell Crowe a
lot of the time. And I still went into it
like me, I don't like me, I.

Speaker 1 (33:31):
Don't like yes, And then it was daunting. It's because
it's historical, but it's not action like yep.

Speaker 4 (33:39):
It's riveting and gorgeous and poignant and just like like
heartbreaking it is it's about male relationship. Oh my god,
what a movie.

Speaker 1 (33:50):
God, Master and Commander the Person of the World.

Speaker 4 (33:53):
So good cinema, yep, yep.

Speaker 1 (33:55):
I wondered if it would be on yours because I
was like, well, it was like the second one. I
thought of I'm like, god, it is the traditional pick, but.

Speaker 4 (34:01):
For a reason, it's the first on my list. I
just I just didn't didn't say it first because I
didn't want to be a hack.

Speaker 1 (34:08):
All right, So what is your next one?

Speaker 4 (34:13):
So this is again a movie I have not seen
in a very long time, which feels silly putting it
on here, but it is not only one of my
favorite movies from this director, but it's one of my favorite,
like truly limited location films of all time. Okay, and
that would be life Boat.

Speaker 1 (34:32):
I knew it. I was about to start a probing
questions and it does it involve Yes?

Speaker 4 (34:40):
Yeah, it's Tulula Bankhead in it.

Speaker 1 (34:43):
Yes.

Speaker 5 (34:44):
Uh.

Speaker 4 (34:44):
So this is one of my favorite Hitchcocks' And if
you don't know or haven't heard me talk about it
in a million years, Hitchhock is one of my favorite
direct directors. And I know people have things to say
about that, but for me, I just it's just him.
So so, uh, life is a bunch of people stuck
in a lifeboat. So it's kind of got that. I

(35:06):
know I'm oversimplifying it, but that like twelve Angry Men
kind of feel oh.

Speaker 1 (35:09):
No, completely like I like was it a stage play
it first?

Speaker 4 (35:13):
Honestly, I think it might have been. Yeah, I mean
it's Steinbeck, right, I'm not quite sure that I'm.

Speaker 1 (35:19):
Almost positive to actually read this.

Speaker 4 (35:21):
I'm not looking at it right now.

Speaker 1 (35:23):
Hold on nineteen forty four. It is a story by Steinbeck.

Speaker 4 (35:29):
Oh okay, I thought I maybe was made it up up.

Speaker 1 (35:31):
Now I need to read that story. M I don't
know a.

Speaker 4 (35:35):
Ton of but like, I didn't dig a ton into it.
I've read like critique and like analysis of it, but
I don't know a lot about the actual production of it.
But I love I'm a sucker for that kind of
like we're all trapped here and all there is to
do is discuss it kind of thing, and this really
does that well and everyone's really likable. I watched this

(35:59):
for the first time probably in the twenty tens, and
it's a forties film. It's black and white, and again
I just say, don't let the time period that a
movie was made in dissuade you from watching the movie,
because it's such a human story, and like the it's
about conflict and conflict resolution I guess at its heart,

(36:22):
and it's all relevant, like anytime you get people stuck
in an awful situation. There's this infighting, there's this who's
worthy of what and when type of stuff. So it's
a real great exercise I guess in that and I
love it, and honestly I should rewatch it.

Speaker 1 (36:37):
I should too. I remember watching that for the first
time as a child, like I don't think I was
older than ten, and it was wo on. I already
knew Hitchcock, and so I think I must have known
it was a Hitchcock movie and I was like, oh, yeah,
I'll watch this. Oh I like life Boats. But I

(36:57):
don't think I have not revisited it as an adult,
and I really need to because I just always remember
enough about it even then, and I mean to a
little bankhead, I didn't know everything I knew about her Ben,
but I remember just being riveted by this woman and
maybe it was on like a TCM type channel where
afterwards they would talk about it. I feel like I

(37:18):
must have had context, and it would have been before
the internet. Yeah, but yeah, I need I need to
read this. A Lifeboat got me excited for that now.

Speaker 4 (37:26):
Yeah, it's it's it's a great it's that type of story.
It's a great version of it was great of the
time cast and it just stars. It's it's great.

Speaker 1 (37:35):
It's weird and I say this not having done research
for just assuming it's weird that this hasn't been like
remade twelve times.

Speaker 4 (37:45):
That's interesting.

Speaker 1 (37:46):
Does it feel like something every couple of years that
you'd be like, Okay, we're gonna tell it, but instead
it's gonna be about about anti Semitism. It's gonna be
about uh translated like because there's a lot of that too.
There's a lot of me like who is the other
in this case? And it just feels like you could
constantly update that story for a different time and place.

(38:09):
But I don't know that it's ever had a remake.

Speaker 4 (38:14):
It surprises me what does and what Hitchcock does and
doesn't get remakes and what has been because I was
actually one of the few people that was like really
up for Birds Redo if they could do it in
an interesting way, I think because there's like environmental implications

(38:34):
in it, and actually you get into that in Burdemic,
which which which is the closest thing. I guess we're
gonna get some birds.

Speaker 1 (38:41):
Too, Lance End, which was they made for Showtime Seqol
in nineteen ninety something that might have had a little
more of the environmentalism to it too.

Speaker 4 (38:49):
I think it did. It's been I don't think i've
seen that since I have seen Burdemic, which is a
while now. I haven't watched it in a minute, but like, yeah,
I think a lot of that, those like class stories
could do with a little bit of a refresher, a
little bit of an updating.

Speaker 1 (39:05):
So apparently there was a nineteen ninety three made for
TV film called life Pod that was lifeboat in a
spaceship capsule, not the same. I know we can't talk
about it as a boat movie, but cch Pounder was
in it. So I go, I'm gonna do what I
can define this.

Speaker 4 (39:21):
That's cool.

Speaker 1 (39:22):
Yeah, all right, I'm gonna go to my next obvious pick.
But look, the other part about boats is that few
things are more terrifying than a like what would you
call it? A boating? Not a boat crash, but like
a sinking boat A boat.

Speaker 4 (39:40):
Yeah, I'll wait, shit, fuck, Okay, I guess maybe you
took it from me, but god, I might have go ahead.

Speaker 1 (39:47):
It's another It's well, until what nineteen ninety six, this
would have been the I think the most famous boat
movie of all time, most successful financially. I did not
see it until probably about five years ago, and I
it is uh, and that is the Poseidon Adventure.

Speaker 4 (40:03):
So this is yep, nighteen seventy two's the Poseidon Adventure
one hundred percent. My next one it is this cast.
I've been talking a lot about casts. This cast is
one of the best casts ever assembled to day. If you,
if you will, yep, yep, it's amazing. So Gene Hackman,

(40:25):
Ernest Borgnine, Roddy McDowell, Shelley Winters, Leslie Nielsen there, and
that's just like I just scanned it really fast, and
I just missed a ton of people. There's a ton
of people and I didn't expand it. Everyone's so good,
I would say. So the conversation is probably my favorite
Gene Hackman movement movie.

Speaker 1 (40:43):
But this is like.

Speaker 4 (40:45):
Maybe my favorite Gene Hackman performance if I could, if
I could take them apart like that. He is just
such a fucking star. What is he doing in this movie?
It is the way that he commands you to pay
attention to him even when he shouldn't be is like
almost like offensive, like stop it bro a movie's happening.

(41:07):
Stop pulling focus, but like in the best way.

Speaker 1 (41:10):
Yep, yep, it's so good, Emily, And it's just it's
so big budget. It's so big. It starts with a ball, right,
there's like a New Year's party, so everybody is dressed glamorous,
glamorlessly glamorously in the seventies. So you've got sequence, you've
got jewels, you've got like disaster after disaster in different ways, right,

(41:31):
because it's not just like, oh, we're sinking. It's like,
oh no, we're sinking, and then you have to climb
up this thing and then jump over this thing, and
it's like every action set piece is something new and
scary and you just lose people along the way and
you get Shelley Winters saving the day and gloriousness and
it's just, yeah, it's it is. I was so excited

(41:54):
to watch it because I had never seen it and
I'd been like, we don't have to think again. It
was a TCM was on there one day self recorded
that I was like, oh, this is one that like
I've kind of been like, without realizing it, I've been
saving it for like one of those nights when I
wanted something big and it's that it's so much that.

Speaker 4 (42:10):
It and it doesn't I know, like we could potentially,
like as people not of this time period, lump a
lot of like the disaster fair that came out together
because there was a glut of it, right, so much.

Speaker 1 (42:22):
Yeah, but I would say they just watched all of
the airports. Yes, there was a lot, right.

Speaker 4 (42:26):
So, but I would say that there's definitely like a
hierarchy to someone start and this movie though, if you
think that this is just going to be like disaster
crap with like very little budget and just no like.

Speaker 1 (42:40):
Right, like staring around and doing their thing like Nope, nope, movie.

Speaker 4 (42:46):
Down and dirty like the you're honestly like, so I'm
going to talk briefly about another movie that kind of
is tangential to this, but like the way that you
feel for everybody because everybody doesn't make it obviously, and
people have to make sacrifices as they do in these
types of films, and it's like heartbreaking in this You're.

Speaker 1 (43:05):
Like, oh no, this, this person's not gonna make it.

Speaker 4 (43:08):
And I think sometimes that that might fall flat in
the less successful versions.

Speaker 1 (43:13):
Of these movies, like the remake.

Speaker 4 (43:16):
I the Remake is really I was wondering if we
were going to touch on it. It's really disappointing, especially
when this exists.

Speaker 1 (43:22):
The remake is I mean jaw dropping in how like
when you want to kind of think back of like
what was the world, we say a lot of how like, oh,
you know, this is the dark timeline? Is that remake is?
What two thousand and five six? Maybe? Yeah, it's a

(43:42):
great reminder that we have come a long way, because
there is so much in that just politically in that
movie of how all the people of color die immediately
you're left with all of these awful white people who
are selfish and terrible and rich. There's some wild stuff
going on in that movie, and it's just not good.
Like the sequences aren't that good, the the the the

(44:05):
way in Posidon Adventure you are holding your breath because
you are thinking can she make it? And in the
remake you're like, okay, it's been eight minutes, he'd be dead.
Nobody can make it. You're making this ridiculous. It's yeah, it's.

Speaker 4 (44:19):
Uh yeah, there's there's no excuse for something to be
that ineffectual, Like when we have evidence that right.

Speaker 1 (44:28):
When there was like a blueprint, right there for you
to its done.

Speaker 4 (44:31):
No, no, no, it's not that like it's too hard
to do, Like you just didn't do it right right right,
it's frustrating.

Speaker 1 (44:36):
Yeah, whereas like a weird comparison to that, and they're
not like on my list, but I'll just say them
now because I'm actually I think out of my my
list is pretty much done. Is is It a Night
to Remember? And Titanic, which are very I mean Titanic
very much is a remake of that film when you
actually like even a lot of the detailed plot elements

(44:58):
are there and you can see like Titanic made sense
for doing this because basically they took all of the
things that work about that, about that movie and about
the Titanic disaster, the orchestra playing and the dancers downstairs
and all this, and then it just said, okay, but
if we give it more money and a lot more
stuff that we throw at it, we're going to make
the most epic film of our time. And it works

(45:21):
on that front. You still haven't seen Titanic, have you?

Speaker 4 (45:23):
I have never seen titan fascinating.

Speaker 1 (45:26):
It's fascinating to me that you escape that. And again
I say this out of affection because I do like Titanic.
I can't ever imagine sitting down and watching it again
on all three and a half hours. But it is
shocking to me that you missed literally the biggest movie
of our time for a very well, very long time.

Speaker 4 (45:42):
It was, you know, I've discussed it before. I think
it was. I tend to have a thing that I
do where I maybe am am like purposely counterculture for
no real reason other than that I don't want to
be populist or I don't want to put a flow
to much. I don't know who I'm what I'm doing,

(46:02):
or who I'm proving it to. But I think at
the time I wasn't interested in it, and the fact
that the world wanted me to be made me want
to be.

Speaker 1 (46:11):
It's the watch something, I'm with you, and we were
young at the time. I'm pretty sure we were the
exact demographic of that movie without it meaning to I think.

Speaker 4 (46:20):
I think I was watching watching Lion King in the
movie theater when that was and it's like, I just
I'm not here with you, guys. I don't I don't
get it. And then that song was everywhere, and I
think it did become something at a point where I
just said, like, no, I'm good. I don't need to
watch it.

Speaker 1 (46:35):
I get it.

Speaker 4 (46:35):
I get it, which is fun because we talk about
a lot. Sometimes if you don't actually see the thing,
you only get references. You don't really get it. And
and like I I don't know, man, I lived through that.
I feel like I got it. I got a girl
like like draw me like your French girls, like I
think eighty four years, I got the idea.

Speaker 1 (46:58):
I mean anything, I will say it does give you
another view into Billy's Anne on a boat.

Speaker 4 (47:06):
Honestly as a villain, he's really the only reason I
would show up. And how let's be real, it's two
VHS tapes. How much of that movie is he really
in a fair amount?

Speaker 1 (47:18):
Fount? I would say, if you're billing that movie, I
would put him maybe like fourth billed. He's he's got
more screen time than you think. Honestly, he's wearing too
much clothing.

Speaker 4 (47:29):
I but then you could say, well do you know
how much he's on screen?

Speaker 1 (47:32):
And Demon, Oh, well, come on, Christine, Demon Knight jumps everything.
You can't just you can't bring in a gun to
a knife fight.

Speaker 4 (47:41):
If I really not just jumped.

Speaker 1 (47:46):
Yeah, come on, Demon Knight, what's your next movie?

Speaker 4 (47:51):
So these I began to kind of be more like
this has an element on a boat. Okay, so honestly
like jays and Takes Manhattan, right, which.

Speaker 1 (48:02):
An element meaning three quarters of that movie? But what good?

Speaker 6 (48:06):
I know?

Speaker 4 (48:06):
But they want you to think that it's not all
going to be on a boat, right. It's not billed
as a boat movie.

Speaker 1 (48:12):
It's not. No, it's it's it is actually just a
cruise to New York City with ten minutes in New
York City. Uh.

Speaker 4 (48:19):
The first time I saw it, I was shocked, honestly.
Oh yeah, yeah, there's just so much like just being
in the bowels of a ship, like grates and stuff. Yes,
it's weird.

Speaker 1 (48:30):
H for me, it's always it's the disco scene. When
is it Kelly Hugh is in like the party room
on that boat. I was like a good ballroom in
a boat.

Speaker 4 (48:38):
No, that's so fun. Yeah, Like the geography of the
boat is really weird in that, right.

Speaker 1 (48:43):
I don't think it's.

Speaker 4 (48:45):
Like I'm not making all that up. I remember. That's
the reason I put it on this list because I
know it's not solely on a boat and the focus
isn't the boat. The focus is supposed to be Manhattan.
That's like when I think, yeah, you're we've talked about this.
They didn't even no effort on making it look good,
no whatever. But when I think of the movie, I

(49:08):
think of the boats stuff.

Speaker 1 (49:10):
As you should, because it is three quarters of the movie.

Speaker 4 (49:14):
It's so such a bizarre Now I want to rewatch that.

Speaker 1 (49:17):
Yeah, if we're moving two movies that are like with
big sequences on boats, yeah, then I have a few there.
So one of them is I'll go with the nineteen
what is it? Sixty something on the Beach one of
one of my favorite, one of my favorite End of
the world films, one of my favorite End of the

(49:38):
world stories. Definitely. The novel's very good. There's a mini
series adaptation of it as well, which I've only seen
one so I don't remember quite as well. But the
film with Gregory Packs an Ava Gardner, lots of good
people in it, and it is the basically disease has
wiped out the entire world and it is slowly moving

(50:00):
through the entire planet, and Australia is the last to
go because of where they are situated. They've been able
to escape it for a long time, but it's coming
to them. It's inevitable, they know it. But there is
an American ship that was stationed in Australia at the
time this happened. So and Gregory Pack is the captain
of that boat, and they say they decide to try

(50:20):
to see if they can get you know, they hear
a signal and they think maybe somebody else is out there,
maybe there's a cure, let's try it. So the majority
of the movie is not on the boat. It is
in Australia. It is people kind of figuring out what
they're doing at the end of the world. But there
is a rather touching sequent t like deep sad sequence
where the crew does get on the boat and travels

(50:41):
to see what they can find, and what they find
is not very reassuring, but it is a you know,
a strong sequence on a boat if you will.

Speaker 4 (50:49):
I love that. That's great. That's similar to one of
the ones on my list.

Speaker 1 (50:53):
Let's hear it.

Speaker 4 (50:54):
This movie is very long for no reason, and they're
on great many different transportation devices in this film, but
it's all leading to getting them on these big fucking boats.
And that would be twenty twelve. They have a big
boat sequence at the end of that, because you know,
on twenty twelve the world is ending, and so.

Speaker 1 (51:16):
Is it they have to get because I've never seen
twenty twelve. Is it to get to the boat in
order to survive? Is it like a pulse thing? Uh huh?

Speaker 4 (51:24):
Okay, so yeah, twenty twelve is basically like my husband
and boyfriend, John Cusack is a guy and he is
around the world ending, and he happens to get information
about like, oh, they knew this was going to happen,
and they have this like thing set up to save people.
So I have to get my family there to save them.

(51:46):
And I think they think it's supposed to be like spaceships,
but they're actually like water ships. Okay, So like it's
a surprise when they get there that it's boats.

Speaker 1 (51:57):
Okay. I like. I like that idea. I like in
general the There was a novel I read recently that
I think we'll probably get adapted somewhere called Cold People
that was a similar like the world Like aliens have
come and said the world's ending, yet the only place
we're not going to kill is Antarctica. So get on
a boat and get to get Antarctica and we'll let
you live. So it's like the first chapter is everybody
on boats trying to get into Antarctica, and it is

(52:19):
a like similar like where just the the idea of like, oh,
this is my salvation on a boat is kind of terrifying.

Speaker 4 (52:28):
It it is, right, so that that is the most
interesting part for me, Like I like, I get different
things out of that movie. But like with the end,
it's an extended sequence of them like getting onto the
boat and a bunch of people loading onto the boat
and like how many people can fit on the boat.

Speaker 1 (52:46):
Oh yeah, I always love that one of those sequences.

Speaker 4 (52:49):
So it is and then they're like get everybody in,
who the fuck cares? We gotta close this thing up
because the title wave it's coming like nice, I don't know.
It's very dramatic at the end, so I figured I
would count it.

Speaker 1 (53:00):
Okay, I'll say my favorite boat sequence, my favorite action
boat sequence in a movie Indiana Jones The Last Crusade.

Speaker 4 (53:09):
Honestly not on my list, but absolutely something that I
would say. It's an amazing boat sequences.

Speaker 1 (53:16):
It's great, it's Spielberg at his height, and I mean
that that is my favorite Indiana Jones movie that is
probably my top fifty. It's so good. It's so good.
There's recently every time that's one of those, Oh it's
on cable, Okay, well just leave it on because I
will just watch it again. It was once, it was
on twice in a row. It ended and started, and
I'm like, just leave it on. I'll watch it on

(53:36):
because it's so good. But that boat sequence is just
thrilling and no longer than it has to be, and
it's just great. And that is like, to me, the
epitome of boat chase.

Speaker 4 (53:48):
That is a really good call. I have a fun
boat entry that's not really good at all, but I
like to cheat. I only put this because for me,
when the boat is like, that's why we're here. We're
here to get to the boat. Okay, I have I

(54:09):
have included the boat the ending boat sequences in Dawn
of the Dead remake.

Speaker 1 (54:15):
Oh that's good.

Speaker 4 (54:17):
That's good because so it's very inconsequential, like but also
not so if you know, if you haven't seen that one,
the whole point is they're getting they don't know where
to go. They're gonna get out of them all and
they're gonna take a boat. They're gonna try to get
to an island that doesn't have anybody on it to
be safe. It's great, but the boat part is only
right at the end. But as the boat part happens,

(54:37):
you lose, you know, arguably the best character in the movie.

Speaker 1 (54:40):
Yes, you don well, quite a few actually on.

Speaker 4 (54:43):
It, that's true. You wipe out everybody. You get like
three or four people and the dog and the dog
and the dog actually get on the boat. And then
it's like handheld stuff that tells you like.

Speaker 1 (54:56):
Walking out of my theater. I've seen it three times
in the theater, so I'm like, people, sit.

Speaker 4 (54:59):
Down, you got to watch this part. And it's just
so hopeful and hopeless at the same part at the
same time. And there's like this really great shot of
Ving Raims on the boat and he has like you know,
like a billowing American flag behind him, and for me,
that just so encapsulates like the post nine to eleven
energy of the fucking movie. Yeah, and it's just on
this boat this like sign of freedom, but also they're

(55:22):
just boating into worse and worse circumstances.

Speaker 1 (55:25):
Yep.

Speaker 4 (55:27):
I love it.

Speaker 1 (55:28):
It's something I've I've seen it come up a lot
in like zombie fiction. I feel like I've written more
than one novel where it's like they get on a
boat and they're like, Okay, great, we're off land. We're safe. Fuck,
what do we do now? We can't eat anything. Maybe
you can fish, maybe you could catch seagulls if you're lucky,
but like, you're on a boat in the middle of nowhere.

Speaker 7 (55:48):
Now what.

Speaker 1 (55:49):
Maybe it's the kind of world like a zombie the
movie Zombie where great, we're on a boat. Oh and
the boat's the thing that actually brought the zombies over
to New York City. So yeah, that didn't help us much. Yeah. Yeah,
that's what it comes down to. I have probably one
more movie that I'd actually have two more one. I'm

(56:11):
just gonna throw out a title that's terrible, but it's
just very funny. I don't think this was intended to
be like an asylum version of ghost Ship. But there
is a movie called Haunted Boat that is one of
the dumbest horror movies I've ever seen. It was that
period of time where like I would find anything I
could and watch it, and this movie is bizarre. Uh,
And I don't know a single soul who has seen

(56:33):
it other than maybe the people that made the movie.
So if it ever haunted boat, it's called hunted boat.

Speaker 4 (56:38):
Okay, that's what I thought. Yeah, then I started to
type it and I was like, that can't be what
she really is.

Speaker 1 (56:43):
It's like early it's like two thousand and eight probably,
it's like a bunch of hot people are on a
boat that's haunted obviously haunted boat, and I think one
like they're all responsible for, like the death of somebody,
so like it's one of these like a cursors and
put on them. But it's all their biggest fears come
to life on this boat. And there's like Goblin at
one point, is it I know what you did last boat?

(57:04):
Kind of but you're giving it a lot more credit
than it deserves. But I just felt I need to
shout it out because there aren't many low budget horror
films on boats.

Speaker 4 (57:12):
Honestly, it looks like it might be on to be it's.

Speaker 1 (57:16):
Oh, it's such a too B movie, that's where it belongs. Definitely.

Speaker 4 (57:19):
Yes, it's only ninety seven minutes if I'm looking at
the right thing, So yeah, they made.

Speaker 1 (57:22):
Every one of those minutes count. Please watch it, tell
me what you think, haunted boat, hunted boat. I'm on
a haunted boat. Then my last one was going to
be where like it's kind of the reverse of your
twenty twelve, where it's all about getting to the boat.
This is a movie that kind of has to happen
because of a boat. It's in the title even, But
yet that is a very small part of the movie.

Speaker 4 (57:45):
I know.

Speaker 1 (57:45):
This is one of those movies that I have not
watched in probably thirty years, but as a kid it
was always on and I loved it, and I just
always remember things about it. And then of course it's
also one that if you think a little hard about
you realize it's a really fucked up story. And that
is Overboard.

Speaker 4 (57:59):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah it is not recently, but when
it came out, I watched the Overboard like read nick Yeah,
and that like you know, gender swapped it, I guess,
so that it was less weird weird. Yeah, but like, yeah,
that was a movie that was on when I was
a kid, But I don't think i've ever like seen it,
like as a person that could remember movies.

Speaker 1 (58:19):
Yeah, I can't. I mean, I'm guessing Kurt Russell and
Goldiehan are as charming as ever in that movie. But
I imagine if I watched just today, I have a
few more issues with it.

Speaker 4 (58:29):
Yeah, it's it's definitely a strange premise.

Speaker 1 (58:33):
Yes, and for those who don't know, it is rather
Kurt Russell is like a handyman for this very rich,
awful woman, Goldie Han. She falls overboard, as the title implies,
she wipes up on the like nobody knows who she is,
and her husband's like trying to leave her anyway. But
Kurt Russell is in the hospital when they bring her in,
and she has amnesia, so he's like, she's my wife

(58:55):
because I have five terrible sons and I need somebody
to take care of them. So come on, lady, take
care of your children. And she doesn't know because she
has amnesia, so she does, and that's you know, all
fucked up as premises go.

Speaker 4 (59:09):
But like, yeah, I mean it really reminds me of
like the while you were sleeping kind of premise, yes,
which all of it is really questionable about people's autonomy
when they can't remember things. I just don't really very much.

Speaker 1 (59:21):
But again, it also speaks to how good your actors
are because you watch while you were sleeping and you're like, oh, no,
it's okay. I mean it's singer. Look I love her,
so she's fine. And it's similar. It's like crysln Goldiehan,
Like they're made to be together, so it's fine, they'll
figure it out. It's okay, and it's not. But with
those movie stars it is.

Speaker 4 (59:40):
No, it's it's completely true. The remake was Anna Faris
and that handsome Latino gentleman whose name I don't know.
That's in everything for a while, I don't know. But
like it worked because it was charming because you're like, oh,
look at these two charming people, right right, Yeah, that's
a good pull.

Speaker 1 (01:00:00):
Yeah it's again, it's in the title. So do you
have any more films?

Speaker 4 (01:00:05):
I don't, but I think that it's fun the way
that you approached it, because it started making me think
of other things that like the boat is like the
lynch pin or like, because I was what is that?
Is it romancing the stone?

Speaker 1 (01:00:18):
That we were romancing stone?

Speaker 4 (01:00:19):
Yeah, that's a boat he brings to there's a city
after it. Oh that's right, which is weird.

Speaker 1 (01:00:26):
Yeah, but it's romantic because then they're on a boat
in Manhattan. Somehow it works.

Speaker 4 (01:00:30):
Yeah, but see that that's a good movie. That that's
a boat. I guess I think of because it popped.

Speaker 1 (01:00:35):
Into my head. It's it's a very big scene, so
I think sometimes that's a big part of it. And
the I feel like we had more boats in the eighties.
Maybe it was that like yuppie culture, that yachts were
a bigger thing.

Speaker 4 (01:00:48):
No, I think you're probably right. It's not really like
I think it now. It signifies the ultra rich, right, Oh,
you know what I came across. I don't want to
make this too long. I know we're rapid up, but
I was looking at lists for boats. I had my
main list, but I was looking for inspir you know.
So I actually happened across. I believe it might have
been the two thousand and eight film I could be

(01:01:09):
wrong in the year called Donkey Punch. Do you remember that.

Speaker 1 (01:01:13):
I do remember docu Pun because I watched Donkey Punch
very closely after or before watching Haunted Boat, and they're
similar in some ways.

Speaker 4 (01:01:21):
That's that's interesting, but not surprising. I have seen Donkey
Punch as well.

Speaker 1 (01:01:26):
I hate it.

Speaker 4 (01:01:28):
Yeah, I don't know if you hate it too.

Speaker 1 (01:01:30):
Oh. I remember just being very disgusted, thinking this isn't
a badly made film, but I hate this movie and
everybody involved in it.

Speaker 4 (01:01:37):
It's one of the reasons it started the magazine.

Speaker 1 (01:01:40):
I can see that because but or it would like
kind of exemplified like bro horror. Yeah, and again the
fact that it was like actually well made made it
kind of worse.

Speaker 4 (01:01:49):
You put a lot of effort into a really offensive idea. Yes,
so that's on a boat, that's my point. So hey everyone,
that's why I brought it up, because it's on like
a yacht. So to your point, I think maybe you
know the late two thousands boats were for like assholes.

Speaker 1 (01:02:05):
Yes, I think it's a good signifier of that. Like
I mean even like white Lotus Seasons have done that too,
where it's like, oh, if you own a yacht, that
tells us everything we need to know about you. It's
a good shorthand for a character.

Speaker 4 (01:02:16):
I guess at one point it really could just be
like well off or rich or like yeah, and now
it's just like like, maybe you shouldn't trust this person
because they're gonna they're gonna punch you in the back
of the head so hard. While they're having sex with
you that you die. Isn't that the plot of Donkey Punch?

Speaker 1 (01:02:34):
Yeah? Pretty much?

Speaker 4 (01:02:35):
Hey everyone don't watch that.

Speaker 1 (01:02:37):
Well that also takes me to for television. I had
too that I wanted to shout out because, one of
which was like thinking through of you know, like because
a lot of like and doing a lot of this
probably for you too, Like it brought up a lot
of like eighty stuff or things that we like watch
a lot more as kids, And I thought, I realized
what I would think of when I thought of boats
for a very long time was Bo Brady's house boat

(01:03:02):
on Days of Our Lives.

Speaker 4 (01:03:04):
Oh yeah, I watched a lot of Days of Our
Lives too, so I can totally boats right.

Speaker 1 (01:03:12):
The houseboats had a huge moment in like early nineties,
lady eighties, and for whatever reason, on Days of Our Lives,
the character of boat lived in a house and you
granted you like almost never saw it on water, like
you saw the bottom of the boat and then you
saw like a little bit of the deck. But as
a kid, it just seemed like this thing that a
lot of people did of like some people just live
in house, vote some people some what was Bo Bo

(01:03:34):
a cop or he was a retired cop. I can't
even remember.

Speaker 4 (01:03:37):
But you know I can't remember. I just I got
I've watched a lot of it, like when it was
all the Bow and Hope stuff.

Speaker 1 (01:03:44):
Oh yeah, I was more and Carly but yeah that
show Doctor Carly Manning was my favorite character.

Speaker 4 (01:03:51):
What are we doing? And then he had an eye patch?
Somebody on my.

Speaker 1 (01:03:55):
Patch had an eye patch, Steve Patch. He married Bo's
sister Kayla.

Speaker 4 (01:04:01):
Oh is that why he was around so much with
the IP?

Speaker 7 (01:04:04):
Yes?

Speaker 1 (01:04:04):
And Patch was also in whichboard? Oh?

Speaker 4 (01:04:07):
Whichboard?

Speaker 1 (01:04:08):
Yeah? Which does not have a boat?

Speaker 4 (01:04:09):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (01:04:10):
Oh? I like which more?

Speaker 7 (01:04:11):
Uh?

Speaker 1 (01:04:12):
The other the non soap opera related television I wanted
to shout out is probably my favorite story on a
boat uh. And it's like double boat because it's a
boat that is stranded and for me, it hits every
box because it's also in the Arctic, and it's also
kind of like I'm a huge explorer person. It is

(01:04:32):
the one nonfiction subject I can read about without any
hesitation whatsoever. I had a fifth grade teacher, Missus McCormack,
who was very passionate about his floorers, and it stuck
with me forever. So The television series in question, which
is also based on a novel, was the first season
of The Terror. What so you know Dan Simmons, the novelist.

(01:04:56):
It's a lot of horror and sci fi. No, what,
Christine make Peace?

Speaker 4 (01:05:04):
I don't even know what you're talking about.

Speaker 1 (01:05:05):
Okay, just google The Terror season one and you will
see Jared Harris, Kieran Hines.

Speaker 4 (01:05:12):
Oh, okay, this isn't new, this is much This is
from a couple of years ago.

Speaker 1 (01:05:16):
Yes, this is not this. The novel was probably I
think early two thousands, and then they adapt did it?
I want to say it was covid era. I want
to say it was like twenty twenty or so.

Speaker 4 (01:05:26):
No, yeah, twenty eighteen to twenty twenty five. Is it
still running.

Speaker 5 (01:05:30):
No.

Speaker 1 (01:05:30):
What they did was they did one season that was
based on the book, and then they had a completely
unrelated second season that is awful, that has nothing to
do with anything. I'm guessing maybe the show just hasn't
officially been canceled yet because I think they were trying
to do like American horror story Eskue of, like every
season is a different story, but it was different showrunners.
So season two just completely divorced from season one. Season

(01:05:50):
one is very closely based on the Dan Simons novel
and it is, Yeah, nineteenth century, a crew is stranded
in the Arctic and there's a monster. But the monster
is like a tiny part of it, because the rest
of it is like, Oh, you're on a boat and
that's it, and you have rotting canned meat and maybe

(01:06:11):
if you're lucky, you can catch a seal, and so
it's it's not just the boat. It's also like, you know,
the fact that they are stranded, but it's so good
and the cast is so good it never got the
attention to deserve, so I would get.

Speaker 4 (01:06:22):
Yeah, it looks decent that honestly, the post or four
or whatever the art for it looks familiar, but like
the name didn't ring anything in me. It's not surprising.
I find it very difficult to keep up with television.

Speaker 1 (01:06:35):
Yeah, this one only because I'd read the book, so
I had my eye out for it. And this it
was on Shutter at one point. I don't know if
it still is, but it's probably streaming somewhere. It aired
on AMC originally, think it was on Hulu at one point.

Speaker 4 (01:06:48):
That's good to know about about it not really being
three seasons, like maybe I could watch it.

Speaker 1 (01:06:56):
It's like eight episode. Just watch the eight episodes. Don't
bother with the second one because it's again terrible and unrelated.

Speaker 4 (01:07:02):
So that's good to know. M lots of boats, and
it's it's.

Speaker 1 (01:07:06):
Like boats where it's like they're setting off on an
exploration because they're trying to find the Northwest passage. So
it's also like you know, the and the book goes
into it more detail, but it's all of the like
stocking of the food and so they have to go
to like the best place to get.

Speaker 4 (01:07:23):
The camp food, and what to do about scurvy.

Speaker 1 (01:07:25):
I love scurvy and stories. So it's all like all
that boat shit of that era, boat shit where if
you were not like taking care of your boat and
the people on the boat. And also something I love
about that era is like did you know that most
sailers couldn't actually swim?

Speaker 4 (01:07:43):
Uh No, But I mean that's not super surprising.

Speaker 1 (01:07:46):
I guess the majority of like it was never if
you went overboard, you were just dead because you probably
couldn't swim. It was not something you learned how to do.

Speaker 4 (01:07:54):
That's awful, I know.

Speaker 1 (01:07:56):
And It makes every like old timey boat story you
watch that much more terrified because you realize, like, oh no,
they got stay on that boat.

Speaker 7 (01:08:03):
Wow.

Speaker 4 (01:08:03):
I love boat stuff, man, Yeah it's really interesting. Oh yeah,
good list.

Speaker 1 (01:08:09):
Thank you you as well.

Speaker 4 (01:08:11):
Good list.

Speaker 1 (01:08:11):
You came up with the idea.

Speaker 4 (01:08:13):
Oh well, I love I like boats, and I think
they are a unique storytelling devices, right, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:08:19):
No, I think if you can tell a story on
a boat, you are you give yourself this great like
limitation in the best of ways, because you now are
forced to be in the confines of a boat or
you're on the ocean, right, So it's either one or that,
and so it's always a fear of falling off. But
also this very like you need the geography down, You

(01:08:39):
need to know what works and what doesn't work, what
door goes to what, and it just means it just
is such rich for storytelling.

Speaker 4 (01:08:46):
So yep, I agree. Yeah, Well, good job there, good
job boss.

Speaker 1 (01:08:53):
All right, well we have no idea what we're doing next.
We can figure that out in a bit, but in
the meantime, now go sailing.

Speaker 4 (01:09:03):
Oh I don't know a lot of the examples end.

Speaker 1 (01:09:06):
Yeah, Like everything we've kind of said hasn't really necessarily
said you should go on a boat.

Speaker 4 (01:09:11):
Like maybe maybe not after the zombie apocalypse, or with
a mentally unwell man who wants to terrorize you, or with.

Speaker 1 (01:09:18):
A guy that's obsessed with Ana Conda's.

Speaker 4 (01:09:21):
I guess, be careful who you get on a boat with.

Speaker 1 (01:09:24):
I think that the actual lesson is really none of
these movies I'm looking at, like through the list, because
I was keeping track of them, I do, I mean nte.
The Pirate Movie might be the only one where you
go on a boat and you end up okay, you
have fun with it? Yeah, have fun, you sing, you dance,
literally the move spoiler alert. The end song of the

(01:09:47):
Pirate Movie is a song called give Me a Happy Ending.
So that's kind of the only one I would get on.
That's my advice.

Speaker 4 (01:09:55):
I think that's sound advice.

Speaker 1 (01:09:57):
All right, everybody. Well, with that being said, happy sailing, have.

Speaker 4 (01:10:00):
A nice summer.

Speaker 3 (01:11:10):
When the gold is rough and you happen, you need
to turn the out of the ship and forget your great.

Speaker 5 (01:11:33):
Time.

Speaker 2 (01:11:36):
This sad.

Speaker 5 (01:11:38):
That's three times.

Speaker 1 (01:11:53):
Great things.

Speaker 5 (01:12:01):
Sweep, Yes, sir no, when you had a job.

Speaker 7 (01:12:29):
Fell off life settings, take them off some gls and
take down fills, stand down.

Speaker 1 (01:12:51):
Time, yes, said, can be.

Speaker 4 (01:13:04):
Getting there a side.

Speaker 5 (01:13:09):
Door out, They will work out bar. Give me a
day in resid