Stocking Stuffer 10.3 Christian Mingle with Christine Makepeace

Whoa boy, this one is something! Original recipe cohost Christine returns to help Emily navigate the challenges of dating in 2014 with Christian Mingle (something titled Christmas Mingle), a 90 minute ad (sort of?) for a very confusing matchmaking app. This movie is streaming on Tubi and written and directed by Corbin Bernsen. It’s a LOT to take in, but thankfully, holiday stalwart Lacey Chabert is there to help us through. 

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Thirty years old and only a couple of lousy short
term relationships under my belt. But it wasn't for lack
of trying. I dated guy couldn't keep eye contact with
me for ten and seconds.

Speaker 2 (00:11):
Maybe if you're not careful, you're gonna be the last one.

Speaker 3 (00:13):
Standard you're single and you're looking for a meaningful relationship,
find God's match for you at christianmingle dot com.

Speaker 1 (00:25):
I'm Paul Gwyneth Hayden. It's a weird way to meet somebody.
It's a very strange new world. But the stuff between
never really changes.

Speaker 4 (00:32):
Family joy, I love for the Lord.

Speaker 1 (00:36):
You guys, he was so charming. This is a guy online,
I know, but it's not like that. When is the
last time you stepped into a church last month? You
went to church last month. So it was a wedding.
There was something about it all though.

Speaker 2 (00:47):
Everyone seems so happy.

Speaker 1 (00:54):
For the first time. I just have this sense of purpose.
Praise God, Praise Praise the Lord. We are back with
a new stocking stuffer. As you can guess, and I
know already people get itchy because they say God, Emily, Oh,
Emily and Jason. That's great, But where's Christine. There's Christine. Hi, Christine,

(01:19):
I'm here.

Speaker 2 (01:20):
Hello.

Speaker 1 (01:21):
How does the place look now that you know we've
redecorated for the holidays?

Speaker 2 (01:25):
Obviously very festive. I'm a little off put by that
massive crucifix that you put up in the corner.

Speaker 1 (01:33):
I thought it really got the room together.

Speaker 2 (01:35):
Braid it's gonna fall on me.

Speaker 1 (01:37):
Well, if you don't believe, then maybe it will.

Speaker 2 (01:43):
Uh oh uh oh what are you hitting at, Emily.

Speaker 1 (01:47):
What I'm trying to say is that after today's movie,
I have made some life changes. Christine. I don't know
about you, wow, but I think this movie taught me
that all I really need is the love of a
very bland man and a new copy of Christianity for Dummies,
and I am on my way to heaven.

Speaker 2 (02:09):
Yeah, I mean that's I think that's the entire point.

Speaker 1 (02:11):
Well yeah, also a pen pal relationship with a little
Mexican girl. Oh boy, guys, you think we're kidding. All
of these things happened in this movie and the movie
which now, okay, first peeling back the curtain. Everybody I'm
sure has heard. The last episode, of course, was the
Netflix's hot movie of the Year, Hot Frosty. And when

(02:34):
I said to Christine, Hey, you gotta come on a
stocking stuff or pick a movie, any movie. And I've thought,
I even thought to myself, I should tell her the
two movies that you can't pick that I've already done.
But what are the odds of? And then Christine text
mean says, have you done that Hot Snowman movie? And
I said, yes, actually we did, but so it's wide
open anything but Hot Frosty, and Christine came back with.

Speaker 2 (02:54):
Look, look, okay, before we reveal. I didn't say any
of this to you yet because I all wanted it
to be fresh. I this is not a Christmas movie.
I did not know that because the alternate title for
it is Christmas Mingle.

Speaker 1 (03:11):
There's a lot of Christmas in this movie. I was there.
I don't even know anymore.

Speaker 2 (03:17):
There's really not so what movie. So when I was
actually talking to a different group of friends about the
Hot Frosty movie, and I don't know how, I guess
I just googled like hot Frosty, and like a bunch
of Lacey Shabert stuff came up. And one of the
movies that came up was Christmas Mingle, and I was like,

(03:39):
Christmas Mingle, So I looked for it and found that
it was alternately called Christian Mingle and it was essentially
propaganda for the Christian Mingle dating website. And I said,
I should watch that, and I would make you watch

(03:59):
it too.

Speaker 1 (04:00):
You are not wrong in any of these things. And
I am actually so happy that you picked this movie
because it is such a great both contrast and like
also pairing to Hot Frosty, which this movie, so Christian

(04:23):
Mingle is twenty fourteen. Hot Frosty is twenty twenty four
So even ten year gap between Lacey Shebert and I'm
saying a ten year gap, Like, no, Lacey Shabert has
done at least one, sometimes two Christmas romances every year
since probably twenty thirteen or so, h probably even earlier
than that. I actually should check that, but I'm lazy

(04:43):
right now. I've got a lot going on, guys, the Lord.
So this what is great about this is seeing the
difference in quality of film of love interest. But here's
the best thing is that you're watching this movie and
I don't know how you felt, but as much as
this is just like, I mean, jaw dropping in some

(05:06):
of what it does, did you walk away thinking? But
you know, that Lacy Shaber is actually really good in
this kind of part.

Speaker 2 (05:14):
Lacey was not even remotely my problem right this film.

Speaker 1 (05:19):
She is.

Speaker 2 (05:22):
So you have to separate the actress from the character,
and I think that I can. This character is a
lot and I don't enjoy them, but like it's not Lacey,
Like she's still likable.

Speaker 1 (05:36):
She's really like, she's really good in this awful, awful movie.
It is sunning. I have really come to appreciate what
she is able to do in this type of film,
Like she understands how to do this and she.

Speaker 2 (05:53):
Makes it like it actually flew by for me, which
was I was very surprised once I tucked in. I
think it's like an hour forty and I was like,
oh no, this is gonna this is gonna take forever.
And then it was like, oh, well that actually went
by quite swiftly. So I think she's a big reason
for that.

Speaker 1 (06:10):
Yeah, I would agree. Now, written and directed by so
I did.

Speaker 2 (06:17):
I didn't know this going in.

Speaker 1 (06:18):
I mean neither. I mean as soon as it came
up on the credits, I was like, wait, why hang
on pause, I need to know everything. So it's Corbyn
Burnson or Rogers. I know him or the dentist however
you want to call him.

Speaker 2 (06:29):
Oh, yeah, the dentist.

Speaker 1 (06:31):
Soyad he is. This was apparently his fifth faith based
film that he made.

Speaker 2 (06:37):
He's done a few. I didn't notice. I went through
his filmography and.

Speaker 1 (06:42):
Look, because I was, I did start to read up
a little bit cause I'm like, how did this come
to be? Because I figured this was pure. Here's a
a company, Christian Mingle, which is a real company that
is still a dating website app whatever it's called today,
And I figured, like, oh, they commissioned this movie to
be made. They said, hey, why don't we make like
a romantic comedy, keep it in the family, keep it

(07:05):
as like other born again Christians doing this movie. But no,
do you know did you like, do you know how
this movie came to be? No?

Speaker 2 (07:12):
I thought it was a Christian Mingle commercial.

Speaker 1 (07:14):
Kurbin Bernson wanted to make a Christian Mingle commercial. He
went to his business partner. He's like, look, I what's
my next movie gonna be? I want to write and
direct another movie? And what he said and like, so,
just to give context to like where this movie came from,
this is a quote from an interview he said, why
can't there be Christian movies that are faith based but
are just genre films instead of the educational hit people

(07:37):
over the head with Jesus movies every time? Why not
a romantic comedy In theory, I think that's a fine idea. Like, again,
I am not Christian. I do not follow any of
the shit in this movie, but like, okay, look, if
you're if this is your faith and you know, you
take it seriously and you respect and stuff, like the

(07:58):
idea of that's fine, right, Like, Okay, why don't we
just there's other genres of movies out there. Every Christian
movie doesn't have to be an end of the World
or a you know this, like make a Christian I mean,
not like they don't make Christian horror movies, but in theory,
like I get where he comes from. But this is
just a commercial for Christian mingle, and it is a
hit your head. It is a bad things happened to

(08:19):
Mexico because of faith. I don't know.

Speaker 2 (08:21):
Oh it's yeah, so I don't necessarily I have a
lot of feelings just about the whole thing. So there
is a huge market for faith based scripts. I know
this firsthand because I see what people are looking for,
so like, yeah, since there's a huge market still for
Hallmark holiday Christmas romance, why not marry them? Yeah, people

(08:44):
people aren't writing them, so like, I get it. It's
but but it's not its existence that I struggle with.
It's I guess the execution. Yeah, it's I So I
appreciate what mister Burnston is saying, but like this is
a bit heavy hand.

Speaker 1 (09:02):
Yeah. So he went to Christian Mingle and was like, hey, guys,
I want to make a movie about your company. Maybe
why not?

Speaker 2 (09:12):
It's like that one we watched last year that was
just a K Jeweler's commercial.

Speaker 1 (09:16):
Oh my god, a Christmas Kiss Part two.

Speaker 2 (09:20):
You watched so many of these and I literally watched
one last year and I couldn't tell you.

Speaker 1 (09:25):
So in truth, like most of the time, I don't
remember which ones I have seen, like especially the titles
because they' very generic. But the Christmas Kiss franchise will
always be very dear to me because I think it
is one of the best examples of like the like
how cheaply you can make this but still have to
follow certain rules. I don't know those are. I think

(09:47):
those are very much like if you wanted to show
these to someone. Both of those are bonkers enough that
they're entertaining very.

Speaker 2 (09:56):
True, and you know what, honestly this kind of is
the same.

Speaker 1 (09:59):
I'm not gonna arg can you tell everybody the story
of Christian Miss Mingle.

Speaker 2 (10:08):
So I was shocked that this was the plot of
this movie, So Lacey should so. A thing you need
to know about this movie is that it pushes very traditional.

Speaker 1 (10:18):
Values, as most of them usually do.

Speaker 2 (10:21):
But this one's very explicit. I got I Got a
Little White a couple of times. But like so, Lacey
Schebt is just like this lady living her life and
everybody's pressuring her to like date and get married, and
she like for her, she's very much of the mind
that like dating is to get married. That is her
end goal to get married. And for some reason, I

(10:42):
guess she feels like Christian Mingle commercial speaks to her
through the television, even though she's not really religious, decides
to go make a profile on Christian Mingle in which
she lies about her the the the strength of her faith,
let's say. And then the movie is just trying to
like fake it through being like hyper devoted and until

(11:07):
she realizes that she is devoted and finds that on
her own. But then she still ends up with the guy.

Speaker 1 (11:15):
Does she?

Speaker 2 (11:16):
Yes?

Speaker 1 (11:17):
She does? Oh, yes she does, and.

Speaker 2 (11:20):
That like that's the message.

Speaker 1 (11:23):
The biggest problem in this movie for me, and I
mean I'm saying the biggest. There's quite a few, but
the biggest issue is that like the Okay, I get it, like, oh,
I'm dating, I can't find a guy. I don't know
all my friends are married, right, that seems to be
the thing. And the weird thing is like she doesn't
seem to like it's just one of these like set.
It's a very like also and again, a lot of

(11:44):
my friends are now also either like married or like
settled in life where they're like I don't need a
partner anymore and we're in our forties now it's different,
but like this is a case of like it doesn't
even seem like she wants to like be married and
have kids and do this. Like it's just like all
my friends are married, I'm supposed to be married, and
I'm not. I'm the last one. I feel stupid. So
I guess I need to find somebody that actually wants

(12:05):
to get married. So she goes on Christian mingle, and
she meets one guy, right, just one guy, one guy,
and he is his the character's name. It's the rare
case where I remember the character's name. Why because it
is indicative of this man's personality. This character's name is
Paul Wood, and he is a pile of wood. He

(12:26):
is kind of a jerk. Like he's not nice, he's
not funny, he's not that handsome, Like there's nothing about
this man that would make anybody read a how to book,
but well he is.

Speaker 2 (12:38):
He is a good, god fearing man, an example of
what you should be looking for. And I think that's
alarming God when like it's like ladies, set your sights
on a zilch. It's kind of like am low.

Speaker 1 (12:55):
He just needs to be taller than you, feel like
the message of this movie.

Speaker 2 (12:58):
She's like so super into him immediately, which I guess
I have to suspend his belief right and I have
to be like, Okay, well, maybe she's just super into him,
this unremarkable guy who she seems to have nothing in
common with. Yep, but like there are seeds plant of
him being like just be yourself. I like you for
you like, and that's nice, I guess like he's not

(13:21):
leading the charge of her.

Speaker 1 (13:23):
You're right, it is her being like, I'm really Christian.
He's like, okay, it's it's not him being like, but
tell me what John fifty one seventy two says, like
he's not grilling her now everybody and his family is
h and his family is star studded but fairly awful.
And there's also a like storyline where there is a

(13:45):
one other person who's just always there whenever he has
family events, and it's Kelly, who is a girl he
grew up with who of course everybody's like, yeah, they should,
and as soon as she was introduced, I'm like, they
do belong together. These two people need to make like
Christian babies. And you know, her eyes gaze in their neighborhood,
like this seems like the right path for these people.
And like at one point they break Lacey and Paul

(14:09):
would break up because Paul woods like, you lied to me.
And we find out during that time that like he's
back with Killy and she's like and then they have
a meeting. Right then it's like, hey, let's just have coffee.
There's because by this point she's a real Christian. She
found a gospel church. So now she's like, I don't know,
Jesus kind of cool guy.

Speaker 2 (14:27):
Uh so she's almost a real Christian.

Speaker 1 (14:30):
It's true, that's true.

Speaker 2 (14:31):
I think that's what this. I think this what you're
what you're about to detail. I think the story wants
us to know that. At that point, she's close, but
not quite because of the way she chooses to handle herself.

Speaker 1 (14:44):
Right, because she's like, you know, Kelly, isn't really that
good for you? And he's like, no, you're not Christian.
A real Christian wouldn't say that. So then she by
the other great part about this movie is that she
works in marketing.

Speaker 2 (15:00):
But you know, even if it's not a Christmas movie,
it's got all the trapping.

Speaker 1 (15:04):
Yes, completely, and she's a good marketer because she can
spin things. Right, that's in this movie. That is what
marketing is, purely is lying. But she's like, no, as
long as there's a kernel of truth, I can make this,
I can sell this, I can make a campaign about it.
And she realizes like, I can't do it without truth.
I'm gonna leave my marketing job and go be a

(15:25):
missionary in Mexico, right, And then so she's there and
she's teaching children the Bible, and the less we talk
about that the better because I'll start screaming. And she's
like in the middle of a lesson and then a
little boy runs in and is like, Senorita, Senorita, there
is a man here for you. And she's like, okay, sorry, kids,
I gotta go. And then he's there and it's like

(15:46):
I love you, I love you. Let's make Christian babies
and indoctrinate eight these poor Mexicans who just want to build,
like rebuild their town but have to do it for Jesus.

Speaker 2 (15:55):
Now, that aspect of it was very strange. I will
admit I think if you just pitched me like yeah,
and then she she tries to get with him, but
it's clear that she's still like not really there within herself.
So we need her to like actualize so that they

(16:18):
can be good together. But like it felt very inauthentic.
It was never like she never felt actualized, even though
this kept telling me that she was.

Speaker 1 (16:29):
And then.

Speaker 2 (16:31):
Yeah, it's it's very strange because at one point, so
this village in Mexico got destroyed by like some natural
disaster something, yeah, and like one of the kids was
like but like, if God's so good, why did he
let this happen? And like the movie's reason is because
it like makes people stronger. That's not a real reason.

(16:57):
Don't feel like that, Hey, movie, don't be like that.

Speaker 1 (17:00):
Come on, Corbyn Burnson, come on, come on.

Speaker 2 (17:03):
Hey, Like I get what it is, and would you
And I don't really know a lot about organized religion,
but you would describe this as like born again Christian.

Speaker 1 (17:11):
I you know I am. I am not the best.
I don't have the quick ability to be like which
kind of Christianity is that? On the imb to b
IMDb trivia, there's actually one very funny bit of trivia
is about where is it the did you know? They
make a comment that, let me see, the church they

(17:34):
visit with his family is a Catholic church and you
can tell that because of the crucifix over the over
the altar, but like they're clearly not Catholic. Like and like,
I mean I grew up somewhat Catholic. I mean you
tell from my last name, I'm Italian. I'm from Long Island.
Like that's what most of the people I knew growing
up was, so like I can recognize like Catholicism and things,

(17:54):
but like they're not they're definitely not Catholic. I don't
know there's some form of Yeah, there was.

Speaker 2 (18:03):
A line that made me think born again Christian as well,
and like then I was like, well, I don't even
know if I know why that would be relevant, like
and if it was, I don't, so I just I
just tapped out and was like, I don't think I'm
meant to understand this aspect of it.

Speaker 1 (18:20):
I certainly don't think the movie was going to actually,
although I wonder if you were to like send an
email on like probably Facebook, I'd like, Tor Corbyn Burnson,
what do he answer it for?

Speaker 2 (18:29):
You? You know what? Now I know what to ask
if I'm ever in a room, of course I was.

Speaker 1 (18:33):
I met him at a hororcanventionine years ago. I got
my brother a signed major league photo and he was
very pleasant. He didn't try to, you know, bless me
or anything.

Speaker 2 (18:40):
So who knows, Like if dudes just really into his
faith and he wants to make faith based movies for
other people that are into his faith, Like I can't
get mad at him for that, but there are and this. Honestly,
I thought this was going to be a lot more
misogynistic than it was, right, Like there's there's things in
it that may me bristle, like the whole dating for

(19:02):
the sole reason of marriage. Yes, I just I understand
that that is something that I don't agree with just
personally that other people are totally like normal with, so
like it just felt weird, but like it really wasn't
as mean like it.

Speaker 1 (19:16):
No, I agree, I think, Like again, to be clear
to everybody, this is not a good movie. This is
it has a lot of problems, Like we'll get into
the sushi bit too later, Like this doesn't seem to
understand like anything that isn't a very like white version
of something. But that being said, considering what you when

(19:39):
if I were to have told you, hey, did you
know there's a Christian mingle romantic comedy Christmas romance movie,
I know where my brain would go. And I think
this is a little bit less horrible than that. Like
there's moments where I'm like, you know, like the whole
thing about her mar right and how she's like kind

(20:02):
of figuring it out for herself. Of like I can't lie.
I can't tell a lie in my professional career, Like
I need to I'm a genuine person. I need if
I need to believe something to do it, and like
there's aspects of that. I'm like, Okay, I see what
they're doing, like they're making some parallels to faith, and
this is actually kind of smart, and Lisa Shpar's playing
it really well, like this is handled well. And then

(20:23):
you get to like, here are these poor children in
Mexico who have to reabuild their school and these very
nice white people have come to give them Bibles, and
you're like, ah, so it's you know, it's it's it's
not as bad as you might fear it is, but
there are elements there that are like whoo hoo boy.

Speaker 2 (20:42):
Yeah, I definitely agree. It's I would say quality wise.
The only thing that really got to me after a while,
and it was only evident when writer director Carbyn Bernson
was in the film Yes, is that he is writing
the way he talks and a lot of people are

(21:04):
having trouble with it, and he delivers the dialogue great because.

Speaker 1 (21:08):
He wrote yep, and other people.

Speaker 2 (21:11):
Didn't have as easy as the time with it, and
I think that that kind of hurt it.

Speaker 1 (21:16):
That's fair too. Yeah, So as much as you're saying
it's on a Christmas movie. I think it's still I
mean it ends with them kissing in front of a
Christmas tree spoiler alert, so I'm gonna still consider Christmas romance.

Speaker 2 (21:27):
It does say a year Christmas a year later at
the end, in the last two minutes, and I was like, Ah,
there's Christmas Christine.

Speaker 1 (21:34):
Did you watch past the credits?

Speaker 2 (21:37):
I don't think so.

Speaker 1 (21:39):
Were you not aware? Because I always like to watch
the credits on these movies, in part because like on
Hallmark movies, you can't watch the credits. They just go
by really quickly because they have to cram in the
next movie. So there's a party and that's like, ooh, credits.
I get excited. And I love usually seeing like how
many public domain how much, especially if a movie has
like a million sound bites and then there's like one

(21:59):
song in the song lists at the end, it's like,
oh wow, everything else they didn't have to pay for.
I usually appreciate the special things and so on. But
this movie actually did have a post credit sequence.

Speaker 2 (22:11):
I didn't. I got up while the credits were rolling,
and I think zactly shut it off.

Speaker 1 (22:14):
Yeah, Well, it's dangerous because if you got up at
the end if you waited like less than like I
don't know, like fifteen seconds. There was the coda where
it's a year later. But Christine at the end of
the credits credits end, and again for me, I had
time this morning, I'm like, oh, let me right, let
me let this run just in case. You see what
cute Christian logo we get at the end. No, we

(22:35):
don't get that. We just get two of the men
in Mexico sitting down once got a guitar, and it
ends with them saying Audios amigos. Why I don't know,
because they're in Mexico. Christine, Oh my, that's what we
have with Christian mingle. Now again, I'm still drigging this

(22:57):
as a Christmas movie, which means we need to go
through the list. The list, the list.

Speaker 2 (23:02):
So yes, you do, I've skimmed the list. I feel
good about the list.

Speaker 1 (23:09):
I trust you in the list. Uh. Female lead in
need of a lesson. We talked about Gwyneth It's wild.

Speaker 2 (23:16):
It's wild. She has a big city job and she
doesn't She's pointed in the wrong direction and she needs
this wild Christian mingle to shake everything up.

Speaker 1 (23:25):
Yeah, and we I'm trying to I get I guess
we'll we'll, we'll throw it in when we get to
the villain, because I we cannot not talk about John
O'Hurley in this movie. But moving on number two, our
Bland love interest, Paul Wood so Bland, I don't, I can't.
I'm mad at everything about this man that that this

(23:51):
like I look, nobody should ever change who they are
for another person. Right, At the same time, there's something
to I met somebody who so wonderful, and they inspire
me to be better, right, They they make me want
to rise to their level or to be worthy of them. Like,
I get that, And we are to take it that
this man is doing that for her? And what does

(24:13):
he even? What's what does he do for a living?
He's like he works for his dad. I think.

Speaker 2 (24:18):
I think so, because they go do the mission work
where they do construction.

Speaker 1 (24:24):
Oh my god, you know they are you know they
are not paying taxes on that ship? No all mother, Yeah,
I know.

Speaker 2 (24:33):
Okay, this is a very this is a very glossy
version of people like this that I've met.

Speaker 1 (24:42):
I bet all right, So are setting a big bad city,
trarmming small town magical winter water Land. We're in a town,
are we supposed to do they say they're in California
or do we just know that they're in California based
on the fact of how everybody's dressed in.

Speaker 2 (24:57):
Talks, I felt like it was extremely unclear where they were.

Speaker 1 (25:00):
Okay, Yeah, My favorite thing is that this office, which
is a I guess, like you know, marketing company, there
is not a single like she walks in the office
straight to her office. There is no number on her door,
there's no name on her door, Like, it's just a
bland hallway of blank doors, Like how do you know

(25:22):
which door to knock on to find someone?

Speaker 2 (25:24):
I've worked in offices like that.

Speaker 1 (25:25):
Oh, it was horrified. It was. It was like kind
of like it's not cough gesque like it was. There
was something very unsettling about that office space.

Speaker 2 (25:33):
It didn't feel it didn't feel like they staged it.

Speaker 1 (25:37):
No, No, it was uncomfortable. Yeah, but well there's a
lot more to that office that we're gonna get to.
Number four dead parents or dead wife.

Speaker 2 (25:44):
Look, I don't think they talked about her parents, no,
which is weird, which is especially because of how much
time we spend with his family.

Speaker 1 (25:52):
Yeah, and like you would think there would be like
because and again we don't even know, like you feel
like there was something there to hurt for her to
it would have been easy for her to be like, yeah,
well I lost my faith in Jesus after my parents died, right, Like,
it's easy, Cravin Burnson, have you watched a Christmas movie?
You could have thrown that in very easily.

Speaker 2 (26:09):
No, it would have. It would have explained kind of
her her motivation.

Speaker 1 (26:14):
I guess now there is a dead wife. Though you
clocked the dead wife. It takes a while to get there,
but we get there, Nate. Late in the movie, Lacey
Shavert goes to get her bike fixed and bike repairman

(26:35):
she has like a nice heart to heart with him.

Speaker 2 (26:37):
Yeah, Cravin Burnson's wife is dead. He will never date
again because she.

Speaker 1 (26:42):
Was she was the one, She was the one and only. Nope,
so there is a like and also that like the
whole like, oh, yes, I had one wife and I
will never have another wife because we are Christians and
that is how you should be too. So if that
would you know, falls off a building and in a
Mexican church, then she's stuck in that that.

Speaker 2 (27:00):
Life that's it's it's stuff like that that like subtle
seating of like like kind of like a belief system
that goes unsupported. That like really is off putting because
just because your your book says it and you're not
explaining any other reasons.

Speaker 1 (27:17):
Why yep, exactly. Oh and by the way, there is
there is a sprinkle sound effect. I don't know if
you clocked it. Do you know when it wasn't when
she meets Paul. No, it's when she opens a bible. Boy.
Let us talk about number five and the sassy sidekick.

Speaker 2 (27:38):
So we have a sassy sidekick. We have the sassiest sidekick.
You're talking about the lady that works with her in
that office.

Speaker 1 (27:45):
I have a lot of thoughts about this poor, clearly
very talented, very trained actress who is grinding her teeth
having to do this fucking role. That's how I felt.
Did you.

Speaker 2 (28:04):
She was always very fun?

Speaker 1 (28:06):
M Oh?

Speaker 2 (28:07):
She was recently in the four Amber Alert movie that
I want.

Speaker 1 (28:12):
There you go.

Speaker 2 (28:13):
There's also in six episodes of the League of their Own.

Speaker 1 (28:16):
So she does she does stuff. Yeah, she's been in
quite a few svus. She is, uh, she's a stage actress.
I think she won not the Tony but like a
couple of the other big awards very recently for a
play she I think, oh, I think on SVU she's
actually the woman who gets Alex's Cabot out of witness Protection.

(28:41):
Like her story is so moving. The lex Cabot's like,
I don't need to be a witness protection because this
woman was brave and I'm gonna now change my life
and go to Africa and help women in need. So
very pivotal role there. But like She's like to me,
I'm watching this and I'm like, the movie is treating
this character as just like, oh, you are this sidekick.
You work in the office with Lacey. We don't know

(29:02):
what your job actually is, but we know Lacey is
above you. That's clear. And there's my favorite is the
line where uh who when she when her name is Pamela,
when Pamela gives advice starts giving advice to Lacey Shabert,
and Lacey Shabert actually says thanks, Oprah.

Speaker 2 (29:25):
Oh that yes, fully, like, come on, guys, yeah.

Speaker 1 (29:30):
And I feel like the actress probably was the one
who was like, don't call me Oprah, like it wasn't
in the script for her to say that. She's like, no,
don't you fucking call me Oprah because I am tall
and black, Like that's what this is a wild in
a twenty fourteen movie. But again, the actress is great.
It's like this actress gets nothing to do other than
not along and prod Lacey Shabert on her way.

Speaker 2 (29:53):
Well, she says, you know that website is for real
Christian to meet real christ Christians, and then we get
the reveal at the end that she's been a secret
Christians the whole time and it's just not her style
to be showy about it.

Speaker 1 (30:10):
But also, like Lacy Saber says, like I've known you
for years and I didn't know, like first of all,
as if it was a weird, like the way it's like,
oh I didn't know, Like, yes, of course you didn't know,
because you have never asked this woman a single fucking
question about her own life. Right, Hey, Pamela, what are
you doing this weekend? On any given weekend, Pamela would

(30:32):
have said, probably going to church, but no, because you've
never thought that. You've only said, Pamela, I'm having such
a bad day. My weekend's gonna be terrible. Bye. I
bet that's their relationship, so you're completely right.

Speaker 2 (30:45):
It also frames it as this, like the whole movie
really does fame frame it as this clandestine thing in
which you have to stay in your like unit. Like yep,
that to me, Not to get too religious here, but
like I actually knew somebody really well that worked for
a company that was just run by people who weren't

(31:06):
born again Christian. That was like, it's not that's not
a read, that's what it was, and like that kind
of like grouping without letting other people in. Right, This
movie gave me that vibe big time, because that's what like,
while the love interest might be like kind of welcoming
to her, like his family is very much feels like

(31:27):
she is an other. She is an outsider, and like
that doesn't feel very welcoming or Christian to me.

Speaker 1 (31:34):
No, And there's an aspect of like, I don't know,
I guess you could make the comparison in any situation
of like, hey, we're a baseball family. So if you
marry into her family, you don't watch baseball, like we're
gonna be rough on you. It's gonna be different. Like
in a way, there's a part of me that's like well,
is it just, you know, am I just being too
hard on religion? But like no, they're assholes about it.

(31:55):
And it is does feel when Lacy goes on this
mission and the way these women grill her and test her,
and it's not like, oh, hey, are you going to
be good for my son? Are you going to be
good for my friend? Like who are you? It's like
you don't you know what John seventy two to forty

(32:16):
three says. And it's just weird. And the movie kind
of like says, yeah, that's not the way to be,
But it doesn't really because Lacy goes with it in
the end she can do John seventy two twenty five.

Speaker 2 (32:27):
So it doesn't actually have a stance on that like
exclusionary kind of exactly. Yeah, because now now Lacey could
very easily Gwyneth sorry, could very easily like become that
version of a Christian because but like I thought, like
religious people's whole deal was recruiting.

Speaker 1 (32:48):
I think it really depends. That's where the specific religion
depends very much, because you have some like Joba's witness
where the like it is part of the faith is
that you are you are bringing more people into it
you have other religions like Judaism, where it is much
more No, you were born here, it is very much

(33:10):
more difficult to bring anybody in because it is of
the blood and it is this. So I think it
very much depends in my experience just knowing things like
I would think the same, like this type of Christianity
would be much more indoctrinating than.

Speaker 2 (33:28):
Like the missionary stuff, right.

Speaker 1 (33:30):
Which is what they're literally doing.

Speaker 2 (33:32):
Yeah, because there's that episode of the Office where Michael
and Andy just decide to go on this mission tip
the one time they go to church and everybody's like, yeah,
come on, let's go. Maybe it's just because that's that's
my favorite.

Speaker 1 (33:45):
That's reference church. I could be so innocent.

Speaker 2 (33:50):
It felt just like very like really. I also read
on IMDb this will be one of two things I
tell you. I read on IMDb that some of the
actual Bible quotes in the movie are wrong. No, I
can't substantiate.

Speaker 1 (34:05):
Oh I love it. Yeah, I'm we keep a Bible
here just for reference that I you know, took up things.

Speaker 2 (34:12):
Well.

Speaker 1 (34:12):
No, I mean I think a lot of like you know,
a lot of atheists do, and this' you know what
we are when we have it for for that kind
of thing. I mean, if you're writing anything, a lot
of times it's a handy reference. But I don't know
the idea that anybody else, Like I never understand, Like
I don't know, like I've had trouble learning lines for
bit parts I had in plays in high school. Do

(34:32):
you like people really know all the Bible by heart?

Speaker 2 (34:37):
It just seems a lot there's different like kinds of Bible.

Speaker 1 (34:43):
Yes, some people.

Speaker 2 (34:45):
Some people are more acquainted with other versions. Yeah, Like
I know someone who knows Revelation really well. Okay, and
that's like the thing that they're into, right, Okay, that's
kind of the type of person I know. I don't
know that anybody knows all the Bibles really well unless
they're like a priest and that's or like a theologian,

(35:06):
and that's like a requirement.

Speaker 1 (35:08):
I mean, I like, I can identify a lot under
SVU episode by in one note. You know, Like literally
today I was like in the other room and Brandon
had an episode on and I heard the opening sound
for like no more than two seconds. I'm like, Oh,
that's the Grifter Hotel rape episode. So I guess that's
kind of the equivalent like if I put my mind

(35:30):
to it, I could learn the Bible, but I've got
better things to do.

Speaker 2 (35:34):
Yeah, you know, you know the SVU. I don't necessarily
know the criminal intent.

Speaker 1 (35:39):
I know in the book of SVU exactly exactly. Uh. Now,
there are a couple of other sassy sidekicks. Do you
want to talk about her terrible awful friends? Oh?

Speaker 2 (35:49):
Yeah, they're not in it a ton. Her friends are
very much the people that are like I get married.

Speaker 1 (35:57):
Or God, I set you up with my friend from
with a friend to mine And Okay, I know he
was looking at another woman the entire time, but it's
really your fault, like right, Like that's what they say
to her in the opening, Like we see her going
a date. He's a dick. Uh he leaves her. He's like,
I gotta go, and she's like okay. Then she's telling
her friends like, yeah, no, the date didn't go well.
They're like, yeah, no, he really like met somebody, like

(36:19):
it was somebody from high school. You should have been nicer,
like these fucking cunts, Like, no, wonder why Lacey wants
to find a new group to be with.

Speaker 2 (36:27):
I know. No one is very supportive of her and
and I would again like to circle back around to
the fact that she chose to lie on this dating profile.
She could have just said, like yeah, because they show
the dropout of like how how often do you go
to church? She picked like every second of my life.

(36:48):
She could have just picked like on holidays and then
like built this like loving God loving relationship like within her.

Speaker 1 (36:56):
But like, yeah, the initial motivation and well, you know what,
here's here. What's the problem. I think where the sponsorship
comes in because now again I don't know, I'm not
about to like log on and try to create a
fake profiling Christian Mingle because I don't need to be
targeted for those ads. But I wonder if there even
are those options because the movie You're right, the movie

(37:17):
kind of makes Lacy Shabber an idiot in order to
get her to Paul and to get her in this
particular situation, And I wonder how much of that was,
like maybe there isn't an option on Christian Mingle to
enter holidays, like maybe like it really is, Like no,
we need to make it look a certain way, so

(37:38):
we're not forcing this into her because like I don't know,
it feels You're right, Like, why did she feel like
she had to be the best Christian to be on
this website? Maybe it's because you have to be in
real life. I don't know anybody who's listening who's used
Christian Mingle. Please tell us everything.

Speaker 2 (37:52):
Why would it give you those options if you were meant.

Speaker 1 (37:55):
To like was it oh jeez, you're gonna make me do?

Speaker 2 (37:57):
But like it showed that, it showed her signing up
for it, and it like gave her different options for
like her level of faith.

Speaker 1 (38:06):
What she liked.

Speaker 2 (38:07):
Was she like high level or just getting started? And
I feel like this Paul guy would have been understanding, like, yeah,
I've been looking for a more meaningful God based relationship
and here you are. But like, no, for the movie
to happen, it has to be predicated on an outlandish
lie that she can't support.

Speaker 1 (38:27):
I mean, okay, here's I'm on Christian mingle dot com.
Now so great? Can't wait for those ads?

Speaker 2 (38:32):
Boy oh boy.

Speaker 1 (38:33):
Our only focus is on helping Christian men and women
find a loving, God centered relationship built on mutual faith
and love. Yeah, so it feels like it's like you,
if you're at this level, you're only gonna a match
to somebody at this level. I mean, oh god, should
I try to see what happens if a hill out
of profile? Oh no, within the film.

Speaker 2 (38:54):
Within the film they say about Christian Mingle, I just
lost my train of thought. I had such a good point, man,
that's a real shame.

Speaker 1 (39:02):
I was gonna make a.

Speaker 2 (39:03):
Really sweeping point about Christian Mingle and and the point
of it, but I lost it.

Speaker 1 (39:07):
Well, that's like the movie is making the site not
look like it is trying to like cultify people, right,
And it has to be because it is ultimately like an
ad for that.

Speaker 2 (39:17):
Oh I just remembered. So that movie itself tells me
that on Christian Mingle, you take like a personality quiz. Yeah,
that's how they match you. So did she take a
personality quiz and get matched with Paul Great? He's he's
like master level and she's just like a novice and
they can grow together. But like no, again predicated.

Speaker 1 (39:37):
On the line, oh boy, oh boy, I gotta turn this.
I will be tempted to just fill it out just
out of curiosity, and I should not do that into
my life. All right, Well, number six, we have our
evil women or our evil boss. So we're gonna collectively
call this the villain section, which kind of have a few.
So who do you want to start with?

Speaker 2 (39:57):
So I wouldn't classify her boss necessarily is a villain,
but in tandem with the with J Peterman, they they
come together as sort of like this oppressive thing in
her life.

Speaker 1 (40:12):
Yeah, and we get Stephen Tabolewski here. I would love
to know the story behind that and J Peterman John
O'Hurley what So. I was really disappointed that John O'Hurley
didn't come back at the end, that there wasn't any
like real closure there.

Speaker 2 (40:30):
There's no point to that subplot.

Speaker 1 (40:32):
Yeah, and this felt like I forget who. I read
an interview recently with a director who was doing like
low budget films and made a statement that I'm always
gonna remember now when I watch like a movie like this,
which is like talking about like, oh, the challenge of
casting of like gathering a cast when you're making a
low budget movie. And they said they're like, oh, here's
the secret. You wait until the last minute, and like

(40:57):
you talk to your if you're friendly with an actor
with somebody on your movie, you talk to them like
on Thursday, you're like, hey, doing anything are you in
town this week? And they're like, yeah, I'm in town.
I'm in between projects. Oh my god, would you come
for like two days and work on my movie? Like
I know it's a big favor, but like you're in town,
it'd be great. I haven't seen you in a while.
Like that's the trick is to like wait till the

(41:18):
last minute and be like no, uh, it's like the
to pull it back to the office.

Speaker 2 (41:22):
Episode, Michael sets up that fake project we.

Speaker 1 (41:26):
All have to work late tonight, guys, yep, oh no
we don't. So Jim, you want to come over for dinner.
I know you don't have plans because you were gonna
work late. Like that's kind of the way to do it.
So I feel like that's how they might have gotten
steam about tuble Owski, who's but then again, we're got
Tubleowski like is just having a ball in this movie.
It's like, okay, he.

Speaker 2 (41:45):
Is also really fun in this movie.

Speaker 1 (41:47):
Is yeah, he's having a good time, which is why.

Speaker 2 (41:49):
But like the whole thing, so that whole subplot is
that like she works at this ad agency or whatever,
she's a brand manager and jp Everman comes in with
this like hair growth yep, and like Steven Tobolowski is
bald as he has been. I just wanted something more there,
like it felt like a story left half told.

Speaker 1 (42:09):
It completely did because he like she doesn't believe that
it works. J. Peterman is like showing before and after pictures.
He's like, see it does work, and Stephen Tobolowski wants
it to work because he's like, no, we like this
is a good account for us, and if it works,
I can have hair. And Lacy Shavert like ends this
part of it with just saying to we don't see

(42:30):
her tell J Peterman, we see her tell Stephen Tablowski
like I can't do this. I don't believe it. I
can't do something I don't believe in. But like what
if Charlie did work? Yeah, I want to know. Yeah,
Like the real stinger at the end should have been
Stephen Tobolowski and John O'Hurley in Mexico, like brushing their
hair and saying audios amigos. That would have been better.

(42:50):
I would have at.

Speaker 2 (42:51):
Least put it like a tag on it.

Speaker 1 (42:54):
It's missing something. Maybe there's a sequel. I don't know
that I want to know, but yeah, we have other
villains have to talk about Oregon fucking Fairchild. That's mama.

Speaker 2 (43:06):
She was terrible in it. She was really mean.

Speaker 1 (43:10):
Also, can I look, I don't want to judge. Everybody
has different relationships with their parents. I get uncomfortable when
I hear grown women still call their father's daddy. I
get it, though, I don't know. Maybe you had whatever
kind of relationship you had, like it just might stay.
It's fine. But he calls his mother and father mama
and papa, and it really makes me uncomfortable because Nina,
I don't like it.

Speaker 2 (43:31):
I actually thought the papa thing was really charming.

Speaker 1 (43:34):
It made me uncomfortable. Papa wasn't as bad as mama.
Like I don't know, a calling his mother mama. No, no,
I don't like that. But yeah, Morgan Fairchild is very
mean and I wish she was meaner. That would have
been funner.

Speaker 2 (43:50):
It would have been. But like I think she she
managed to capture something.

Speaker 1 (43:54):
I suppose. Let's talk about the montages. There's quite a few.

Speaker 2 (43:59):
Montage is I'm just good at remembering mon.

Speaker 1 (44:02):
It's tough if you're not sitting there, you know, with
paper and pen in hand. I was telling Brandon like
I can't do these episodes, like I cannot watch one
of these movies passively, like it's this is not even
and even like if I go a lot of times,
i'll watch things at the gym on the elliptical. I
can't watch these movies on the elliptical because I have
to take too many notes. It's it's too ardent process.

Speaker 2 (44:24):
I get that I made notes too, because sometimes they're
so forgettable that they just zip out of my brain.
But I didn't note any montages I have learning about
God mom.

Speaker 1 (44:33):
Of course I think she has too. Okay, let me
say okay. In order, there's the opening credits are like
montages of people getting engaged because remember you're sad if
you're not partner, And.

Speaker 2 (44:43):
I think that's actually Christian mingle, like people.

Speaker 1 (44:46):
It Oh my god, it probably is. Yeah, I'm sure
it is. Okay. Then there is a montage when she's
creating her Christian Mingle account. It's her like first learning
about God montage because she's creating the account and she's
getting out, you know, books about Christianity and so on.
Then there is a reading montage where she's reading the
Bible for dummies and googling Bible verses. Oh but yeah.

(45:10):
Then there is the Helping the Mexicans montage where they
are doing things like painting and walking a donkey. Then
there is the Lacey finds God again, like for real
this time when she finds the Gospel Church, and then
she volunteers at a food bank. She's talking to her friends,
she's reading the Bible. And then the last we get

(45:32):
one my favorite thing in these movies when they're like
stretching for time, when they do a flashback montage of
things that only happened like five minutes ago in like
a fuzzy font. So, yes, we did get that. So
quite a few.

Speaker 2 (45:45):
Well, I mean this movie has a lot of ideas
to get out.

Speaker 1 (45:48):
This is true. I mean the Lord okay, eight slapstick,
I didn't clock that much. Do you remember anything? No?

Speaker 2 (45:54):
No, not really she has fallen down or dropping stuff.

Speaker 1 (45:58):
Yeah. Yeah, nine was our sage old person.

Speaker 2 (46:01):
So we do have the Lord.

Speaker 1 (46:03):
The Lord, how do I not write the Lord? But
we also do have you know, widow bicycle man urts So,
who gives advice about how you will only ever have
one love and if they die, good luck.

Speaker 2 (46:18):
He's like the Santa Claus of this movie.

Speaker 1 (46:20):
He has to be because there is no Santa Claus,
because I don't know how Christian Santa Claus is depending
on who you are, So yeah, we'll call him Santa
Claus as well. Bonus round all the fun stuff. There
is like not that much public domain Christmas music in
this movie, to your point that it's not overly Christmasy.
But I got really excited because I realized early on. Oh,

(46:42):
because it's not like entirely said at Christmas, We're gonna
get other public domain music. So we get like Anchors Away,
where Steph Tabolowski is like humming like maritime music. I'm like,
that's away. I played that in band in fifth grade.
That's public domain.

Speaker 2 (46:59):
Too, weird.

Speaker 1 (47:00):
We get a musical performance by Did you know that
David Keith could sing like that?

Speaker 2 (47:06):
I don't remember that.

Speaker 1 (47:08):
Yeah, because David Keith is Papa and he's like when
he's straming on his guitar in Mexico.

Speaker 2 (47:14):
You know what, I think I've blocked a lot of
the Mexico as well.

Speaker 1 (47:18):
You should. There's some gospel music. Oh, and there is
actual mariachi music playing when she goes to Mexico. Just
in case you didn't know, that it was Mexico guts
the Okay, where did I write? I cannot believe I
didn't write this now, Okay, no, no it's there. We'll get
to that secret family recipe. No small business in danger. No,

(47:41):
because it's a family business and they're using non taxable
money to do whatever the fuck they want to buy
all of that great Morgan Fairchild wardrobe product placement. What
do you think christ Christian Mingle the name of a
right Cloin child. Let's talk about the poor children in

(48:02):
this movie.

Speaker 2 (48:03):
That Mexican girl, that.

Speaker 1 (48:04):
Poor little girl.

Speaker 2 (48:06):
Oh my gosh. And so okay, so when I forgot
all about this aspect of it. So when Lacy goes
down to do mission work, first they meet this this
little girl and she has that question, and then like
after the fact, she gets a letter from her, and
then we proceed to as Lacey reads the letter, we
proceed to hear the girl reading it out loud like that.

(48:26):
But it's all in like very segmented English, and I
could just picture Corbn Burns and fucking pound in that
very questionable to me.

Speaker 1 (48:38):
Oh yeah, no, I wrote the opening of her letter
because I had to pause it because I was laughing
crying so hard. Dear Senorita, I am sorry for my English.
Not good. Oh somebody a grown man, a grown man
and adults, A man who was probably in his what
fifties when he wrote this, if not older, fucking wrote

(48:59):
that line and gave it to a woman because I'm
pretty sure that is an adult reading that line and
said okay, stand here in front of the microphone and
read this.

Speaker 2 (49:09):
It was wild.

Speaker 1 (49:10):
Oh my god, it really was like, oh, they're going there?
Oh boy, yeah.

Speaker 2 (49:15):
Wild.

Speaker 1 (49:17):
Weirdly, we don't have a finding the perfect tree montage
because again this is not fully Christmas empty coffee cup acting.
I didn't see any Oh no, there there are so
there's some.

Speaker 2 (49:27):
Man, I can't believe I missed it.

Speaker 1 (49:28):
Let me remind you. It is after they have a
hot dog date that they they are there to.

Speaker 2 (49:35):
Her apartment, right right, but they're walking to her apartment, Yes, her.

Speaker 1 (49:39):
Apartment that they had to show like fifty five times.
They must have like that must have been other product placement,
like whatever. The dude's like a clock shop or something.
Must have like allowed Corbyn Burns to film there and
he's like, as long as you show my business. So
like every five minutes, there's a cut to her the
awning of her building.

Speaker 2 (49:54):
Yeah, it was weird, all right.

Speaker 1 (49:56):
Now number eight, this is very important. We have so
much to talk about here, actors trying very hard to
not take a bite of something on camera. So so so.

Speaker 2 (50:08):
I know there's eating in this because we go to
the sushi place, we go to the coffee place, huh,
to hot place, and then there's the cakes and steaks.

Speaker 1 (50:18):
Oh no, I'm sorry, Christie, I believe you meant steak
and cake.

Speaker 2 (50:21):
Oh sorry, which I actually kind of felt like was
like a kind of like a good joke about like
uber religious people in certain southern areas. I mean I
lived in Texas.

Speaker 1 (50:32):
Yeah, I got that too. I thought that was the
one moment where I'm like, wait, I think this is ironic.
I think this is supposed to be funny. It is.
They she goes to church. It's the first time she
meets the family, and they are again as white as
can possibly be, and they say like, okay, we're gonna go.
You know, have have lunch, and I mean you must
have worked like Sunday. Oh boy, yeah, I've never been

(50:54):
worked really, I mean, aside from Chuck E cheese, I
did not work in food service, but I know many
people who did it. I have been in the South
on a Sunday, two places to eat, and it is
the families coming from church, and they're always You tell
me if I'm right about this? Are they not always
the shittiest tippers?

Speaker 2 (51:12):
So in New England it wasn't really a thing, or
rather it didn't affect me very much. Only when I
moved to Texas did become a real thing. I on
Mother's Day, I believe it was a Sunday after church
Mother's Day, I got tipped an empty pack of cigarettes.

Speaker 1 (51:31):
Oh motherfucker.

Speaker 2 (51:32):
So yes, the people coming from church, at least where
I was, yeah, did not.

Speaker 1 (51:38):
There is a very like real thing of like going
to you know, Chick fil a or some shit like. Well, no,
because they're not open on Sundays. They don't have to
pay anybody health benefits. But like any place like that
any day is just like white people food. So she
goes with them too, and the awning outside says steak
and cake and they sit down and it's just gigantic
dinosaur cuts of meat, chocolate, cakes, cakes, and no vegetables,

(52:05):
no bread.

Speaker 2 (52:07):
At the city. So the table is it's a big
table because it's like whole family shit, and it's full
fucking takes on take plate, multiple and then you're completely right,
like Flintstone style cuts of beef on this on this plate.
And she also can't pick the steak up because she knife.
She sticks a knife in it to pick it up,

(52:29):
and at one point she says, I don't know what
which start was easily the best part.

Speaker 1 (52:35):
Actually is genuinely funny, Like I get to feel like
cribbon person is probably you've seen major league. He's a
funny actor. He probably has some good jokes in him.
This is one of them.

Speaker 2 (52:47):
Yes it was.

Speaker 1 (52:48):
It was funny, Yes, now much funnier than the sushi scene. Oh,
so the year is twenty fourteen, which I don't know
if you're aware, was not that long ago, like by
twenty fourteen, and I don't know. I guess it's still
true like in certain parts of like I don't know

(53:08):
if I were to go to the south to small
town somewhere, like there is still a like ooh sushi.
I don't know about that, but like they go on
a sushi day and Paul Wood just it is he
has used chopsticks and he it is like he you know,
has been like if you ever took like if you

(53:29):
ever did you in school, like when they try to
simulate what it might might be like to be differently able,
so they like put gloves on your hands and things
like that, like that's how he holds chopsticks. And by
the way, Lacy Shber doesn't also know is not holding
chopsticks very well. It's just like they're playing like the
most stereotypical like gong music to signify it's asia. Oh oh,

(53:53):
it's bad. It's very very bad.

Speaker 2 (53:55):
It's really bad. And you're right, this is twenty fourteen.
And he said it's probably time to find out what
this hip new food is about or something something like that,
Like so you're just becoming aware of sushi now.

Speaker 1 (54:08):
Pre conas has been around for a long time, bro.

Speaker 2 (54:11):
But but that that speaks to you your thing about
like the big city girl in need of a lesson
kind of thing, like she's very much like I eat
sushi and I use chopsticks, and he's.

Speaker 1 (54:21):
Like, what I can't hear exactly.

Speaker 2 (54:24):
She's like some kind of like chic woman of the world,
but which is also reductive because like so if you
if you like, are a believer, like this movie repeatedly
says to me over and over again, you just our
des class a, like, what are we doing here? It's weird.
It's weird odd stereotypes that this wants to reinforce.

Speaker 1 (54:43):
Can we also talk about I don't know why, but
I also respect this about the movie. There are a
lot of mentions of cheese, was there? Yeah? A lot?
Now I know we are in different parts of the
world on cheese. It is not something you eat. For me.
It could be my only food group and I would
die happy. I'd also die very soon because I probably
shouldn't needt that as much as it as I do.

(55:05):
But yeah, there are so many just like mentions of
it throughout this movie. And I don't know what's going
on there, but I don't hate it.

Speaker 2 (55:16):
Oh I had it, so that's you know what I
was like, I don't remember them talking about cheese. And
then I was thinking about how Corbin wrote this and
directed it, so it's his singular vision. And then I
remember to note I did make they say stinky a lot.
Stinky is not like a thing that I say and

(55:37):
or write. But this says this movie says stink or
stinky four times in the first half.

Speaker 1 (55:43):
Hour, and sometimes it's about cheese, but not all the time.

Speaker 2 (55:46):
Yeah, it was about cheese when I wrote. When I
really noticed it, I was like, stinky cheese. Why why
are we saying the word stinky? But like I guess
because it's wholesome.

Speaker 1 (55:57):
I guess. I mean, it's funny, like I didn't pay
up on this the way you did. But it's really
smart of when you can tell that you know, somebody
has written a script and they are not a thirty
year old market female marketing executive, but they are a
sixty year old uh you know, guy who loves his
wife who says stinky and so therefore the whole movie

(56:20):
feels as if it is a sixty year old stinky
man giving these lines. So I didn't clock that, but
it is very interesting that that you did.

Speaker 2 (56:29):
H it felt like it was written by who it
was written by.

Speaker 1 (56:35):
Yes, yes, somebody who enjoys steaks and cake.

Speaker 2 (56:39):
Honestly again, and if I am, I'm at it, I
will be like, let's was this a joke because it
was hilarious?

Speaker 1 (56:47):
Yeah, I agree, I think if I am, Ever, and
like I mean, he probably still does like again, Like
I think he's been born again for like or at
least he's been like religious for a long time. So
when he was making The Dentist five, I think he
was still pretty Christian or like. I don't know, but

(57:08):
I just yeah, I wonder when he does horror conventions
how many people come up there, Like, you know, Christian
minglesa changed my life.

Speaker 2 (57:16):
If I ever had the seriously, I would bring it
up because I'm fascinated by it.

Speaker 1 (57:21):
I think what I would do is I would just
like hopefully, let's say I'm at exact I'm not going
to pay to get his autograph, but like hopefully I
would like see him walking down the hallway or like
in an elevator. That'd be the best scenario. You're in
an elevator with him and he like he walks in
and you kind of like do the nod of like, oh,
you're famous. Cool, And then I would I would before hopefully, Okay,

(57:41):
this is my fantasy, I get out a floor before
he does. Right, I'm in the elevator shorter than he is,
so that the door can open, I can step out.
I can turn around and say steak and cake, wink
and walk away. And just leave him with that so
he knows that he touched me.

Speaker 2 (57:59):
That's a power movie. So so what I would do,
Let me tell you what I would do. I would say,
oh my gosh, Corbyn Burns and I'm such a big fan.
I bet you get this all the time watch into
a very long winded question about this Christian Mingle movie
from a decade earlier. Yeah, and I don't know if
he would be able to take it. And I love that.

Speaker 1 (58:20):
I mean, he wrote and directed it. This is his child.
I guarantee he would the problem though, No, see, I
advise against that because I get the feeling if you
did that, it'd be one of those things where he's like,
you know, come, let's let I want to talk about
this more. You have time. I'll buy a coffee, we'll
drink it, have empty coffee cups and have hot dogs

(58:40):
and for dessert we're gonna go get cake. But the
entire time he's also talking to me about Jesus. That's
my theory, you know what.

Speaker 2 (58:46):
And I would occasionally be like, huh, that would make
a good movie. Maybe I could write it and.

Speaker 1 (58:52):
My dinner with Corbon yep or no, it would have
to be like my Sunday brunch with Corbin.

Speaker 2 (58:57):
Ah, Yeah, how wholesome steak and cake? Is that a
real place? Never mind, let's move on.

Speaker 1 (59:04):
God, I hope. So in my dreams, they only have
two things on the menu with steak and cake. You
can get steak or cake or steak and cake. So
it's actually three things on the menu. St yes they do,
you know, for those on the like Atkins type protein
diet or for those not right, all right, we didn't.

(59:25):
I think that's just about it. No canadianisms because it's
not Canada warm weather Watch, Like, the movie doesn't try
to pretend it's Christmas, so it's not or like they
don't pretend it's winter, right.

Speaker 2 (59:35):
Yeah, so it's not anything like over the top or weird.

Speaker 1 (59:38):
Yeah, old people aggressively matchmaking. It's the opposite here, because well,
I mean, they really want Paul Wood and Kelly to
be a thing, and honestly I do too. Those let
those people have very boring lives together.

Speaker 2 (59:49):
No, so that that is aggressive matchmaking, I suppose.

Speaker 1 (59:52):
Yeah. Did you have a favorite fashion moment? I like
to close on the fashion of the movies because usually
it's kind of fun. What what'd you think going on here.

Speaker 2 (01:00:03):
Well, it didn't strike me as overly tacky or like
like haphazard poorly done. It was just regular like clothes
of the time.

Speaker 1 (01:00:15):
I think it did.

Speaker 2 (01:00:16):
The clothes did feel really dated. It did feel like
somebody watched twenty fourteen old Navy commercial and then went
and got all the wardrobe for Lacey. But like I
wasn't mad at it.

Speaker 1 (01:00:27):
It's kind of crazy now that we're saying that, to
think like twenty fourteen was ten years ago, yes, which
doesn't seem like it would have been that different fashion wise,
Like it's not the aughts, right, it's not Hit two Q,
like it's not that. But then like you go back
in time and remember when we were teenagers and let's
say nineteen ninety five, Yes, nineteen eighty five was a

(01:00:49):
completely different fashion era, right, Like in nineteen ninety five
you could dress like the eighties and everybody knew that
you were dressing like the eighties. And I would never
have thought today that in twenty twenty four you could
dress like it's twenty fourteen and people would know. But
you're absolutely right. This movie. The fashion in this movie,
it's like, yeah, THISYEA had first twenty fourteen.

Speaker 2 (01:01:10):
Yeah, it really does. I've noticed a lot. And I
was talking to somebody else about this infinity scarfs, right, yeah,
so like just think about when women were like really
into scarfs, infinity scarfs, long drapy scarfs that they wrap
around their neck one hundred and fifty times. It's around
that time period, I would say, like twenty eleven to
maybe like twenty sixteen. But yeah, strange times.

Speaker 1 (01:01:34):
I always felt like an infinity scarf would be like
would lead to my death, you get stuck, right, Yeah,
Like that is an Isabella Duncan as well, Isabella Duncan
as a door A Duncan, the ballet dancer who like
did get decapitated from having a scarf in her car.
And but it just seems like for me, it's just
a final destination thing waiting to happen.

Speaker 2 (01:01:53):
So I would advise against it. Somebody's hook hand would
get stuck in it, and you'd get like pulled up
a flight of stairs.

Speaker 1 (01:02:00):
And anytime an item of clothing comes with a piece
of paper that shows me multiple directions for how to
use it, I'm out, absolutely, I'm out. No, no, no, no,
it's clothes. I can't, I can't follow directions for that. Yeah,
I mean she did. Lacey Shabert does. Is it's like
kind of a I think it's in her contract that
she has to have at least three pea coats in

(01:02:21):
every movie she does, so she I mean in this movie,
I'm watching it, I realize there a certain point. I'm like,
I'm only about thirty minutes in, and I think she's
worn three different coats.

Speaker 2 (01:02:30):
She did have really good coats. Oh and when she
first went on the mission and like she overdressed or
she like dressed for the beach and then she threw
on like a little tea over it. I thought she
looked cute.

Speaker 1 (01:02:39):
Cute. I agree. I was like, oh, that's actually a
cute look for like a casual type thing.

Speaker 2 (01:02:43):
I used to do that. I used to wear skirts
with like just a regular T shirt that to me
feels like a twenty fourteen.

Speaker 1 (01:02:49):
We need to bring that back.

Speaker 2 (01:02:50):
I think I really wish it like like elevated a
T shirt, And I think that we really need to
do that.

Speaker 1 (01:02:56):
Yeah, I'm always a fan of like, oh, I don't
want to if I don't know if this happens to you,
and like you wear pants most of the time, and like,
but you wear skirts, you wear dresses, but like every
time you do, somebody is like, oh, where are we
going today? And so it's almost like you want to
dumb it down. You're like, no, I'm not dressed up.
I'm just I happen to take something without us that
did not have extra material between my legs. But like

(01:03:18):
it's almost one of those like safety things of like,
see I'm not that dressed up and wear your T shirt.

Speaker 2 (01:03:22):
Yeah, I totally get that. I remember the last time
I wore a skirt to the office. People were like
they acted like I was going to a funeral and
I was like, just wearing a skirt, man.

Speaker 1 (01:03:31):
Right, it's such a weird, Like it just makes you
wonder because you sit back, You're like, what what do
you think I normally look like, like, the only difference
I'm doing here is that you can see my knee.

Speaker 2 (01:03:42):
But I also used to work in an office with
a group of ladies and who would very clearly be like, oh,
I put no effort into this at all. I like
wearing dresses because they're so lazy. I'm a very lazy person.
I'm so lazy, And that's where they were coming from
and I was like, huh huh. So really from the
people thinking you're dressing up, it makes it look like

(01:04:03):
there's so much effort, but like from a person doing it,
they're like, it's less effort.

Speaker 1 (01:04:08):
I feel like this is great, Like fashion advice to
everybody we've given you, It's like, I feel like you
can't like. What we're saying is Lady Shabert looks very
good in peacoats. And if you want people to either
think you're very fancy or that you don't care, but
that you're cool, don't repants.

Speaker 2 (01:04:27):
I really think that's true. You're not wrong, really smart.

Speaker 1 (01:04:30):
Well, having said all that, do you recommend anybody or
who do you recommend? Watch Christian Mingle?

Speaker 2 (01:04:38):
So no, thank you for listening to this. I think
that you should listen to this and listen to us
talk about it.

Speaker 1 (01:04:47):
But I pretty much think we covered I think it's
on TV, so it's there for the taken. It is like,
I don't know. I'm glad I watched this because it's
one of those things where like, oh, I had forgotten that.
When I first heard this movie was a thing, I
was like, oh God, of course I have to watch it.
And in this. Watching it like under these parameters where

(01:05:09):
I am actively taking notes looking for things for me,
made it probably more enjoyable than it may have been
if I just was like, yeah, let's see how bad
this is, because then I am looking for things and
noticing things and watching eagle eyed and pausing and rewinding.
So it's a different viewing experience for those at home.

(01:05:30):
I don't if you're a completist and you're like, look,
it's a fucking movie about Christian Mingle, I need to
watch it, then like, yeah, watch it. It's like it's
it is offensive at times, but it doesn't feel like
I don't feel gross having watched it, if that makes
sense the way I might have for other movies that

(01:05:50):
sort of do that. Like, I don't think anything is
malicious in this movie. I think it actually came from
like a good place. It's just a place that I
don't agree with with and is occasionally very ignorant about,
you know, the rest of the world. But yeah, it's
it's there.

Speaker 2 (01:06:08):
I completely agree with that.

Speaker 1 (01:06:10):
Yeah, and again, like Lacy Shabert is really good knit.

Speaker 2 (01:06:13):
In closing, I would like to read something that really
spoke to me from IMDb. So this is under the
goofs section, and I feel like it encapsulates the type
of people who watch this movie really well. Gwyneth says
a prayer, thanking God for quote unquote bringing Paul and

(01:06:37):
I together. It should be Paul and me. So this was.

Speaker 1 (01:06:46):
Oh, oh that's good. That's very good.

Speaker 2 (01:06:50):
Like that's what people are looking for while they're watching
this fucking thing.

Speaker 1 (01:06:54):
So I agree. I am going to counter your closing
with one more closing from IMDb. From the Book of IMDb,
one of the trivia bits Corey Feldman Comma, who was
Lacey Shabbert's spiritual advisor at the time, stop it right.

(01:07:14):
I feel like I could stop right there. Basically he
wanted he pleaded with her not to do this movie
and to do a different movie. She ended up doing
both movies. But Corey Feldman, who was Lacy Shabert's spiritual advisor, no.

Speaker 2 (01:07:28):
I like her, Moxie. She was like, fuck you guys,
I'm gonna.

Speaker 1 (01:07:30):
Doth do both. Corey Feldman, Spiritually, what was that? It's
kind of like, what is that relationship? Like it's like
I'm thinking of the Seinfeld mentor relationship, and like I
just want to know, like what and and now I
want to know who is Corey Feldman's spiritual advisor.

Speaker 2 (01:07:49):
Who advises the advisor?

Speaker 1 (01:07:53):
Indeed, it is all right. Well with that having been said,
everybody go, you know, be honest on your dating profiles.
It worked out for me, who did not lie about
being a Christian when I, you know, found my husband
some time ago. And Christine, any any closing remarks from
you from the Book of Christine.

Speaker 2 (01:08:15):
I don't know you could do better, You could do worse.

Speaker 1 (01:08:20):
But you could certainly do better than Paul Wood.

Speaker 2 (01:08:22):
Oh yeah, definitely he look, no, no pass.

Speaker 1 (01:08:27):
Indeed, very Christmas.

Speaker 4 (01:08:30):
We're gonna get all of our ingredients in four plastic cups.
Everything's ready. It's time to bake cambos spectacular Christmas cake. Currants, raisins,
sugar and spice will make it ever so nice. Cherries

(01:08:53):
and nuts and diamond paste. These will give it a
Christmas taste. Every won in the family master it twice