S6E40-David

Tragedy & Triumph are part of life but Victory & Harvest comes from God

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:06):
Broadcasting from the Golden spread of Texas. This is the
Fred Hughes Show. With each episode we introduce to you
an inspiring person or message to help you grow and
unlock your potential in life. I'm Fred Hughes, professional photographer, pastor, teacher,

(00:26):
author and your show host. Thank you for joining us
and welcome this episode brought to you by the faithful
partners of Decision Ministry. Well, welcome once again to the
Fred Hughes Show. Welcome to our getting together once more

(00:48):
on Thursday night. And we do this every Thursday night.
And we are excited about when you share those little
ring those little bells and share our program with whoever
is on your little playlist, that really does help us.
And so we're excited about bringing some good news to

(01:09):
you know, the airways. And we're excited about once again
sharing sharing some good good news to to you our
listeners and to anybody else that might be able to
listen in later on. So I have a nice looking
fellow right here. His name is David. I'm gonna let

(01:30):
him kind of give you the full introduction of hisself
in a few minutes, but I want to remind you
of our website. If you'll go there, and we have
all kinds of good things to look at downloads and
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(01:53):
some report, some support, get a minute, and that's always appreciated,
of course, and so that ministry is free, but you
know airtime isn't necessarily so we appreciate your support. So
I without a whole lot of do I want to

(02:14):
just pick it over to David. David, I want to
just let you share as much as I possibly can
tonight because I think you have some things on your
heart and so I want to turn you loose quickly.

Speaker 2 (02:26):
Well, Fred, it's it's great to be with you again
in ministry. We've had the opportunity to do. First of all,
my names David Jedediah. That's not my real name. But
I have kind of a sensitive ministry, at least i'd
like to think it's sensitive and security can be an issue,
so we'll just leave it at that for right now.

(02:48):
But yeah, Fred and I have had the opportunity to
work in I think several countries, certainly Mexico. We've been
there a couple of times together, and then Nicaragua and uh,
you know that that might have been the extent of
our journeys together. But boy, I really, uh really enjoyed

(03:12):
the anointing that that that Fred has on his life
and getting to see the Holy Spirit work in ways
that are just supernatural. Of course, he is supernatural. So
that's what we what what we expect, you know, and
and so but tonight, I feel like the Lord wants

(03:33):
me to talk about family and relationships and broken relationships
and and uh and and separation, you know, death uh
uh you know, destruction, things that that many of us
face but maybe don't necessarily know how to deal with.

Speaker 1 (03:57):
Uh.

Speaker 2 (03:58):
I was thinking of my brother and my dad in particular,
and uh, my dad was a very interesting guy. He
lived in ninety three and we grew up in a
suburb of Detroit. In Detroit as well as a suburb
of Detroit, my dad worked for one of the major

(04:21):
car companies and was a sales analysts. And my dad
was very committed to the family. He was committed to God.
He's committed to the family, and as a result of that,
he was kind of family centric centric. There wasn't many

(04:44):
relationships outside of the family except when he played golf.
And when he played golf, he also engaged in drinking,
and so he was kind of what I would call
a a drunk who was it was an event related drunk.

(05:04):
You know. He didn't didn't drink well, I don't think
he drank every day, but mostly on certain you know,
occasions throughout the week. And and so as a little
kid growing up, I was conflicted and angry because I

(05:25):
didn't know who was going to walk through the door
at that time. Was it going to be the the
calm demeanor, quiet but strict father, or is it going
to be some guy that I didn't know? And and

(05:47):
so it made growing up kind of kind of difficult
for me, in particular because my dad and I had
similar personality types, and we we clashed quite a bit.
We were both critical and gifted and creative and all
of that good stuff, but also being critical has its

(06:09):
has its downsides as well. Fred and and so anyway,
I had that going on growing up. My brother, on
the other hand, was if you understand personality types, he
was a phlegmatic melancholy and and the phlegmatic in him
and they got along with the cleric and my dad

(06:31):
and and they shared kind of a similar melancholic personality
type as well. But it it really was the basis
for how they lived their lives near the over the
last twenty years. And so fast forward, I've been through

(06:58):
a couple of doctorate departments degrees and one at the
University of Michigan, one at Texas Tech University, and then
had a chance to get well educated and groomed for
the professional life. But God had other plans for me.

(07:23):
We were talking earlier Fred about how some kids grow
up in a Christian home and and suddenly they go
off to college and don't need God anymore because they
become educated. And you know, it's it had the opposite

(07:44):
effect on me. I I got involved in a campus
Christian group, and I became more devout, more committed to
the Gospel of Jesus and and to getting his word
out to people. Then if you know, I hadn't gone
to college, and so not everyone has that that reaction,

(08:07):
of course, and and but it paved the way for
what God would eventually call me to in this life.
And I did some early mission trips to the United
Arab Emirates. And then when I got my pharmacy degree,
I spent a year in Saudi Arabia working as a
clinical pharmacist in a university hospital. That was great experience,

(08:33):
had a chance to understand cross cultural ministry and and
developing relationships and and uh, then uh, finally, when I
had the pleasure of getting married, I went to medical
school and residency and and uh, actually that where I

(08:54):
was used to excelling in most academic areas of my life,
I found that I did excel in medicine. And and
so eventually went back into pharmacy. And and after going
back into pharmacy, developed an adult seizure disorder. And it's

(09:18):
not very common, but tell you what, you have a
couple of Grandma seizures and you don't really need you
doesn't need to be common. You you you remember those
things sort of. You don't remember what happened while you're
doing it, but the the before and after certainly a
bad memory. But the Lord he had a plan, and

(09:43):
it's just like God to adjust the plan while you're
going through what you think is is important in life.
And and so I told my wife when we were
going through this ruggles, I said well, honey, we're going
to go down. We're going to go down serving the Lord.

(10:04):
And uh. So eventually we received disability and I was
able to uh sustain my family through that, and my
wife had some skill and she worked, and so that
was that was handy. Then UH then the Lord started

(10:25):
taking me to to West Africa. I had the privilege
of working with Pastor Joe Kirkwood and learning from him
and seeing the UH, seeing the the wondrous aspects of
the Holy Spirit and the prophetic and and UH healing
giftings and evangelism and oh, I just you know, I

(10:47):
got turned on to that and working in villages in
West Africa. And after a few years, the Lord called
me to my own ministry. And I won't mention that name.
I'm not here to remote the ministry. I'm here really
to talk about family relationships and tragedy that happens in

(11:08):
the lives of everyone. Bad things happen to believers just
like unbelievers. The only difference is we have a God
who knows and who cares, and he is able to
orchestrate circumstances in such a way where you see his

(11:29):
presence even in the midst of tragedy well for me.
You know, I apparently got crosswise with my dad and
my brother after my mom had died. She died in
two thousand and one of thyroid cancer, and as a

(11:50):
result of this estrangement, we didn't speak to each other
for twelve years. Finally, and my wife encouraged me to
send another Christmas card and I did, and I said,
you know, maybe we could bear the hatchet. I don't
even remember what the original problem was. And next thing

(12:12):
I know, we're at the Barfield Hotel in Amarillo and
having dinner with a couple of friends of ours, and
I get a call from my brother and it's like
we didn't skip a beat, you know that He just
it's like, hey, how's it going, you know, and yeah,

(12:33):
this is what we're doing. What are you doing? You know,
We're going to Florida play golf this winter, and you know,
blah blah blah, and and I was just thrilled to
tears that Jeff and Dad were doing well. First of all,
but I noticed a spiritual sensitivity that I hadn't seen before.

(12:54):
And they were into the Word of God. They were
watching YouTube pastors. On Sunday, they were going to church,
and their spiritual life had really blossomed during the twelve
years that we'd lacked contact. Well, continue to fast forward,

(13:15):
my dad now being older, he was like ninety when
he developed dementia, and my brother at that time was
I guess he would have been sixty, and you know,
he's having difficulty caring for my dad with this problem.

(13:40):
But while we were in the early stages, while he
was in the early stages of the disease, he managed
and so, you know, and I rarely saw them. I
saw them a couple of years ago in Florida. I
went to visit and Dad was still really relatively cognizant,

(14:06):
and he recognized me and we could have a conversation,
and and that was that was that was good. I
felt like I felt like life would continue that way
for a long time. But life is never static. You know.

(14:29):
There's there's ups and downs, and there's beginnings and ends
and obstacles that come along, conflicts and and and so
we as believers, we want to make sure that we
are walking with God, walking in the truth, staying in

(14:52):
the truth the Word of God, and and able to
respond in in go oddly ways to problems that come up.
In our lives. Well, then fast forward to this year.
You know, I'm I'm talking to Jeff and and Dad

(15:14):
on the phone, and uh, I'm noticing that he's calling
me more and more frequently. You know. For the longest time,
it would be I might talk to him once a month,
sometimes I'd I'd call him, sometimes he'd call me, and

(15:34):
uh so there wasn't a continuity, a strong continuity. But
but but this year it was. It became every week,
you know, And it seemed like the only time that
Jeff would call me is when when Dad was having
a problem with some delusion or some hallucination he was having.

(16:01):
And well that really that really concerned me. When they
first started happening. I found a way to get Dad
to laugh and chuckle, and and it was like when

(16:21):
I made Dad feel good, he just he just forgot
about whatever delusion he was focused on at the time,
and and we'd we'd laughed together, and he'd laugh and
then he'd forget what it was all about, why, why
he was, why he was hallucinating or whatever.

Speaker 1 (16:43):
That's so that's so cool, you know my dad. Yeah,
we started I started talking to him. He was ninety
four or ninety seven whenever he had and we started
having a visit about heaven, and uh so I started
kind of kept them visualize, you know, all the fishing
holes that were out there in the universe that's still

(17:04):
being made, you know today, And he really got got
into some of those things. But he was he was
pretty sharp until the end. I'm sure that you know,
whenever you have somebody that's a little delusional, it's a
little more difficult, I'm sure to share, you know. And
but still there's a joy in being able to have
that that that relationship.

Speaker 2 (17:27):
Yeah, you know, struggle life is all about relationships, and
Jesus' focus a lot of his teaching was not just
on relationships with the Father, but with one another, family, friends, enemies.
You know. He was very much and still is committed

(17:52):
to relationships. Yes, and so if you're struggling with relationship,
let me tell you something. That's something that God is
very interested in helping you with. And so I want
to encourage you. So you've been a strained from a

(18:13):
son or daughter or parent or relative for a while,
don't give up, keep praying for him. And when God
opens a door for you to reach out and and
re establish connection, and you know, don't don't don't think

(18:35):
it's not going to happen, because for a lot of us,
Fred and Fred and I in particular, that reunion results
in the feeling like, you know, you you didn't skip
a beat, you know that everything is was good and
so and and I'm really glad that we have ad Oh,

(19:03):
I'm really glad we had that time together the last
few years and that we were able to communicate.

Speaker 1 (19:13):
And kind of very precious. I remember, you know, some
of our conversation wasn't you know, wonderful, but it was
just some time. And I value that time that we
were spent together. And sometimes we just set and not
really do a whole lot. He liked to grow things,
and so I did Maris plants and we'd talk about,

(19:34):
you know, whether things are doing good or not or whatever,
you know, or transplant and stuff or repotting, you know,
and and then he he just you know, it was fun.
It was fun to have a relationship, even though it
wasn't the kind that you maybe would visualize when you

(19:54):
were a kid growing up or whatever. Cherished the moment
as much as some of those aha moments when we
were younger, and I had some big you know, different
kinds of relationship, but still relationship is relationship and it's important,
and it has a whole lot to do with the

(20:16):
soul and how we absolutely behind our will and our emotion.
I mean, that's that's where we live life, you know. Yeah,
but we have to have to move it over into
the spiritual realm if we can and have a you know,
spiritual conversation, and sometimes that moves it into a whole

(20:37):
different dimension. And sometimes that's possible, and sometimes that's not,
you know.

Speaker 2 (20:42):
I mean, yeah, it was.

Speaker 1 (20:43):
A good, strong Baptist, and so there was a lot
we could talk about, but there was some stuff we
didn't mess.

Speaker 2 (20:48):
With it, Yeah, that he wasn't perhaps comfortable with, ye know,
exactly in that spirit, and that's fine, you know. I
mean everybody has their their limits where they can go.
You can get red flagged if if you know, unbelief
takes you down a certain path. It doesn't mean you're

(21:10):
not saved, but you know, you're not going to be
able to experience some of the deeper things of the
spirit unless one you believe that they're possible and still
active these days, and and two that you've got the
boldness to want to operate in those spiritual gifts, and
we're not you know, we're not necessarily here to talk

(21:32):
about spiritual gifts today. But continuing on with the story
about my father and my brother. See, now I did
leave my mom out because she died in two thousand
and one of thyroid cancer. Did I say that? I
can't remember if I did or not, but wouldn't make
that clear. And Dad was such a strong cleric, you know,

(21:55):
he dealt with adversity and tragedy in his life by
a kind of controlling his environment as much as he could.
I mean from where he put his golf shoes in
the back of the mini van, you know. No, Jeff,
I put him over here, you know. And you know

(22:16):
I heard him say that once. I thought, whoa this, Uh,
this must be a tough time for for Jeff and
and Dad, you know, because and I knew the source
was the loss of his beloved wife and my mother,
who was really a beacon of light for our family.

(22:39):
It's just very outgoing, sanguine individual and just very very
loving parent. Well, uh, let's see where do we pick up.
I guess I've been noticing these increasing episodes of hallucinations

(23:01):
and delusions and and and different things. And I was
concerned that maybe Dad wasn't getting the best of care,
and so I suggested to my brother that he take
him immediately to to the doctor and get him on
some kind of antipsychotic or you know, I'm not an

(23:22):
expert in neurology or psychiatry, so I don't I don't
know exactly what's what's available, but I knew there were
things like hittle, paradol and and other medications that that
might be useful for controlling some of these negative aspects

(23:46):
of dementia. And so but I I felt some resistance
and and and my brother said, Oh, we're not gonna
We're not going to sedate Dad, you know. And and
it's funny because that's a common response I get from
a lot of people when I talk about major tranquilizer.

(24:09):
That doesn't mean they're going to be sedated. It just
means that that they're they're not going to be violent,
or have hallucinations or you know, other things. I don't
think people should should think it's an either or thing,
and so so I was dealing with that and and

(24:31):
kind of frustrated because I live so far away, thirteen
hundred miles away, and I couldn't do anything. And even
if I went up there and try to micro manage,
if you don't have support, you know, that's that's just
not going to happen. You've got to have family support,
don't your fred you know?

Speaker 1 (24:51):
Do you have to deal with what you have in
front of you.

Speaker 2 (24:54):
Yeah. So I started talking to a friend of mine
who's a social and he said, you know, you could
call Adult Protective Services, you know, and uh, I thought, Okay,
that gives me an ounce of control, you know, because
I can I can get them help, and and it's

(25:17):
kind of forced on them because it's governmental and we
know that all the government is here to do is
to help, right. You know, one thing you don't want
to hear in the afternoon is HI, I'm from the government,
and then I'm here to help you, you know. And
that was kind of reinforced when when well, at first,

(25:39):
when I called Adult Protective Services in Michigan, I got
a person who seemed very interested in helping both my
brother and my father, and I thought, oh, right, this
is I made the right decision, you know, this is
good and uh and then case worker came out, and

(26:04):
you know, she's got a tough job. And I, uh,
I don't want to I don't want to be critical.
I just want to say that my brother was there
were many things that were pointed out to my brother

(26:25):
about the house about uh, you know, old food on
the counters and the mess and you know, blah blah
blah blah blah and uh and uh. And it might
have been mentioned that he could he could be kicked
out of the house as a result of financial what

(26:45):
what what she called financial exploitation and and I and
I heard that, and I was like, oh, that's it's
pretty tough. And but you know, Dad went to see
the or she went to see his doctor, and the
doctor said there's no evidence of abuse or neglect. And

(27:09):
so she was about ready to shut down the case.
But she didn't want to tell Jeff because she wanted
him to have some motivation for change, you know. And
you know what I bought into that. I thought, Yeah,
motivation for change, okay, And what's going to motivate a
person as much as his security, you know. And so

(27:34):
I didn't tell Jeff either. And then you know, my
wife and I were going on vacation. Oh, let me
back up. My brother all he could focus on and
he had ADHD and he might have been a special

(27:55):
needs guy, although he was able to successfully go through
college with straight a's. And but anyway, there was something
something there, uh, some challenge. But he he was so
focused on me letting the government into their lives and

(28:16):
it was all my fault and this and that and
and I mean he must have said that to me
twelve times in several different calls. And finally I just said, Jeff,
you know, stop focusing on that one issue and focus
on the answer to whatever problems were brought up as

(28:37):
a result. Let's be problem oriented, not problem oriented, but
answer oriented here because it's it's so much more positive.
And and she had some had some good points, you know,
I mean not not everything she said was threatening. It

(28:58):
was you know, it was fact or truth. And so
apparently he got a start and he he would call
her and tell her what he's doing and cleaning the
house and ordering a washer, and so things looked really
positive to me going forward. But you know, at that point,

(29:26):
my my wife and I went on our first day vacation.
We landed in San Antonio, and uh, The next morning,
I got a call from the police and the local
police in Michigan, and they said, uh, sir, we've got
some bad news for you. Your dad's all right, he's

(29:50):
in the hospital, but your brother has passed away. And
I said, how did that happen? So well, he took
his life, He didn't suffer. He shot himself. As subsequently,
as we went up there, I found out it was
in a local park. He had gotten out of the car,

(30:11):
and even in his death, he was thinking about other people.
He didn't want to disturb Dad, although he left him there,
and he didn't want to make a scene in the
house or in the car, so he got out of
the car. And and that's that's how that happened. And
it's a anyway you look at it, it's it's tragic,

(30:35):
and you know what, what can we learn from it? Well,
we can learn. First of all, you've got to anticipate
when somebody's depressed. Sure, you know, it wasn't just calling
adult protective Services. It was the last straw for him.

(30:55):
He was obviously depressed. I didn't recognize it. And hard
to do long distance it is.

Speaker 1 (31:03):
And you know a lot of people have the same
kind of in fact, somebody out here watching maybe have
some similar you know, situation. That's why we all need
to be aware as best we can. But that's very
difficult long distance, you can't, you know, And that's why
we just need to pray sometimes and try to get

(31:26):
the leading of the spirit sometimes that that's the best way.
But it doesn't always work out to be the way
that it works, you know, because you do what you
think you can, and you you know, you make the
right calls as best you can, but it doesn't you know,
you can't jump in somebody else's mind and understand what

(31:48):
they're thinking. Yeah, and you can't really blame yourself for that,
even though it's the enemy will help you try to right,
but you have to resist that those kinds of thought
because that's not the truth.

Speaker 2 (32:02):
That's right. Maybe, Yeah, that that same friend of mine,
the social worker, was telling me, Look, uh, you cannot
blame yourself for this. Everyone's responsible for their own life,
their own decisions. You didn't pull the trigger, you know
your brother did and so and this would be a

(32:26):
good time to share Romans eight eight one. And while
you're queuing it up, I'll just continue on. Uh. So
you know, after after we had the had that that

(32:46):
bad news, we we had lunch with the family, a
couple of our friends of ours and San Antonio, and
we immediately left after lunch to to go to Morillo.
And then finally the next day we started on our
trek toward Michigan, which is a two day drive. Yeah,

(33:10):
Romans eight one is on your screen, I believe says
there is therefore, Yeah, let me get it up there.
There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are
in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh,
but according to the spirit. My translation says, for those

(33:31):
who are in Christ Jesus, who let's see I've forgotten already. Okay,
there is that therefore now no condemnation for those who
walk who are in Christ Jesus, for the law of
the spirit of life in Christ to set you free
from the lofts and in death. And I think whether

(33:58):
it doesn't matter which translation you're reading, we need to
focus on the first part. For sure. There is now
First of all, it's it's it's right now our relationship
with God. There is no condemnation for us who are
in Christ Jesus. Now do we make mistakes, sure, or judgment, Yeah,

(34:22):
you can see in my case. And but uh, there's
there's no condemnation. In other words, God doesn't look at
us any differently now now that we belong to Christ.
There is there is, there's absolutely no judgment on God's part.

(34:43):
There's you know, he sees us as children of God.
Any meta is in Christ. He's a new creature, the
oldest passed away. Behold the newest come. We are new
creations in Christ. We are not subject to judgment, but
we have passed from death to life, and that is
available to all of us who will put our trust

(35:07):
in Jesus. And you may ask what does it mean
to trust Jesus. It means to believe that the work
he did was sufficient so that your sins could be forgiven.
You're trusting in the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ

(35:28):
instead of your own good works, which aren't going to
get you anywhere anyway. The Word says that by grace
have we've been saved through faith. And this is not
of our own doing. This is a gift of God,
not the result of works, not the result of works
or being good. Lest anybody should boast. In other words,

(35:51):
the boasting is in Christ. The trust is in Christ,
in his work and his blood, and his perfection is righteousness,
which is now ours through exchange. We know from two
Corinthians five twenty one that says that He made him

(36:13):
to be sin, who knew no sin, that we might
become the righteousness of God in Christ. In other words,
God has traded our sin for his righteousness. Great trade.
I think, you know, we got the benefit of that,
you know, And I would say he didn't get much

(36:35):
out of that, but that's not true. He loved us
so much he just couldn't be without us. We are
his prize creation and he wants us to be seated
at his table. He wants us to be in relationship
with him, He wants us to be in union with him,
and that all comes about through that exchange that I

(36:55):
just mentioned.

Speaker 1 (36:57):
So, yeah, a lot of people out there, and and
I know we have an you know, experience kind of
a prodigal that has gone away, and it's just you
don't love them anymore. You don't love them any less,
You just your but your heart. I age for him
to have that relationship with you and to come come
back and to you know, do it. You can't help

(37:20):
for that. You know, that's the way God feels about us.
He loves us completely. He couldn't love us anymore, but
he you know. But but even though we might be
the ones that pull away for a while or duration,
you know, he always wants us to come back. And
and so you know, never give up hope on a prodigal,

(37:41):
even if maybe they have some mental challenges or whatever.
And and you have to be sensitive to what the
situation is. It's like like you had, but it it's
just God wants to God wants to everything good thing
for us, and He only has good in mind.

Speaker 2 (38:02):
And that's one of the things I wanted to make
sure we covered tonight, Bred is that God is good.
And you know, the story goes on. We run up
to Michigan and we're staying at a hotel and that evening,

(38:22):
I said, well, what do we do now, Lord? And
he said, well, what did your lawyer friends say to you?
And I said, well, he said to contact the state
bar and find an attorney who does probate. So I
pulled out my smartphone and didn't you know, if you
have the benefit of that technology, man, you just got

(38:44):
to use it anyway. Found an attorney that responded to
me that evening, and it was I think it was
an automated message, but I really appreciated the fact that
he did respond. And I let's see what I wanted

(39:06):
to say about that. Okay, well, I can't remember. But
the next morning, we were called by the Wayne County
morgue to identify Jeff's body. Fun thing, right, So we're
on our way to do that, and I get a

(39:28):
call from this attorney and oh, I know what it was.
I was thinking, well, he's gonna want five thousand dollars retainer,
and you know, I'm gonna try to talk him down
to twenty five hundred, you know, using my African communication skills.
But anyway, so he was telling me all they did

(39:51):
and how much experience they had in Probade and that's
all they do. And I'm feeling more and more confident
that this is God's choice for us us and so
he said, but I'm going to need a retainer of
twenty five hundred dollars. Well, that was the very amount
that I was going to be trying to obtain for

(40:17):
this relationship to go forward. To trust God with that,
and that was an indicator to me that this this
was our guy, and and he assigned another attorney his
his one of the partners, and the partner assigned one
of the other attorneys. But but she's she's good too.

(40:37):
I'm just glad to be with that that law firm.
And of course we we did I identify Jeff's body
that day, but they were located ten minutes away from
from the corner's office, so we we just went over
there and talked to him and and and the the
attorney started to counsel and say, look, when people make

(41:02):
this decision, it's usually not based on one single thing
that causes them to want to do this, and so
you can't be hard on yourself about, you know, why
your brother took his own life. And so it was very,

(41:23):
very difficult to experience. Fred. First of all, we don't
know anything about end of life law, you know, and
what to do. You know, my dad was in the
hospital because he was ninety three and had Alzheimer's, and
so the police didn't know what to do with them
other than put him in the hospital, which was a

(41:45):
good choice because he got good care there. And we
were excited. We on our part, we had to get
find go to the police station, get keys, get wallets,
get the you know, get as much stuff. And then

(42:06):
you know, my brother had leased a vehicle two months
prior to that, so we we had that that was
in an impound though, because the detective wanted to rule
out homicide, which he did, and so that was an
impound that was going to cost four hundred dollars to
get out in addition to the three hundred and fifty

(42:26):
dollars a month payment. And we're like, we got to
figure out what to do with this car. And so
our mind is just going bonkers with all of these
details and trying to check on dad twice a day,
trying to clean the house, and you know, the house
was and a total disaster. In my opinion, we must

(42:51):
have thrown away fifty bags of garbage. We took thirty
bags of clothes to the Salvation Army. We took books
and other things, and and oh my goodness, we were
able to clear out most of the house except for
the basement and the office closet where there are currently

(43:14):
some papers there. And we have to we're gonna have
to rent anyway. I don't want to get off on
a rabbit trail. My point is that we were overwhelmed
by everything that we had to do, and I was
waking up at two three in the morning, couldn't go
back to sleep. I'd go down work out and and

(43:34):
then be exhausted the rest of the day because I
didn't sleep, but my mind just wouldn't shut down. And
you know when you know, But I tell you there
were some observations I made. We were able to sell
back that vehicle to the dealer plus paying for the depreciation,

(43:59):
of course, and and that was an act of God,
and we got it out of impound before that that
that that took God's favor. The police were very kind
to us and got us all of the keys and
the wallets and stuff. And and even though we didn't
have an appointment, and in fact, one of the officers

(44:21):
had lost her dad that way, and so she felt
a definite kinship to me over that. And I won't
mention her name, but if she's listening, she knows. Yeah,
And I appreciate you real people out there. Yeah, the
doctors agreed that my dad to be needed to be

(44:42):
on comfort care, and so that's what we did, and
we started looking for we started looking for placement for Dad,
because I knew that Jeff's pineing the sky thinking about
not putting in a home was just no longer possible.

(45:04):
At first, I thought, well, maybe we could transport him
to Amarillo and he could stay in the VA home there.
But there's six weeks of bureaucracy that we're going to
be involved in that, plus along along an expensive ambulance
ride down to Amarillo. So we quickly rolled that out.

(45:28):
You know, It's like God was giving us these ideas
to encourage us, and then as we were working through
those things, it became clear, no, that's not really what
the Lord wants to do. He's got something else in mind.
But it was enough to bring some encouragement to us
along the way as we were swimming in this this

(45:54):
pit of adversity that we were going through at the time.
So anyway, finally the social worker connected us to a
private pay social worker and another one and see me
a private social work that referred people to private pay
homes and group homes, and we found a wonderful group

(46:18):
home a place for mom and Dad too, in Plymouth, Michigan.
And eventually, you know, now we're about ten or twelve
days down the road, and eventually at that point we
transferred Dad to that facility and he started to rebound.
He started to eat better, His blood sugar went up

(46:40):
as a result of his eating better. And so the
hospice doctor responded to that appropriately, and we got Dad
on some depth coote, which which helped him with his moods.
And and I'm thinking, oh, praise the Lord, we can relax.

(47:00):
And you know, after all we've been through, I think
it's safe to go back home. And so we started
back to Amarillo, and a couple of days we got
home and I guess it was about two weeks since
the time we had left. Yeah, it was two weeks,

(47:23):
and wow, so much had passed. And but the anxiety
of all of that continued, and the fears, and you know,
the Satan knows which buttons to push in our lives.
He is uh, he's he's not a roaring lion, but

(47:49):
he acts like a roaring lion seeking somebody to devour.
And and you know, I was thinking, well, my dad
already lost one son to dementia. You know, he's not
going to lose two. You know, I refuse to be
a victim. I refused to to uh, you know, let

(48:14):
my flesh go off into depression and isolation. And you know,
I wasn't going to do that, and and I'm still
committed to that, even though it's been so recent. Let's
see what happened after that. I was, I was speaking
at a church. And now before that, it was a

(48:36):
Saturday night, around midnight, we got a call from the
nursing home. Now he had been there about eight days,
and uh uh, the hospice nurse. He told me that
that Dad had desaturated. His oxygen levels dropped significantly and
they put him on five liters of oxygen by name

(49:00):
can anyway? They put him on oxygen, and he asked me,
can we give him morphine? I said, yeah, you know,
his respirations were high elevated and he was uncomfortable, and
I said, you know, you keep him comfortable. And that's
that's the whole point of hospice really is to help
people to make that transition comfortably as possible. And I

(49:24):
really appreciated that hospice people. They did a fabulous job.
I think their name was Serenity Hospice. I'm not mistaken anyway.
So the next morning I'm speaking at a local church
or in Amrello and I finished up at noon, which

(49:45):
was one pm Detroit time, and we went out to
a restaurant and I got a call about an hour
later and Dad had past, and you know, instead of
grieving and crying and feeling bad, I felt this weight

(50:07):
that had been lifted from my shoulders, you know, because
Dad was a very private individual. He wouldn't have liked
the group home, even if he could be cognizant of
what was going on, and and I knew it would
just be miserable for him, unfortunately. And so I, I,

(50:28):
just my wife and I were both, you know, separately
praying that God would take dead relatively soon. I didn't
think it'd be that soon. I thought, yeah, you know,
but never never quite ready for never, never quite ready
for that now. And so then our court date for

(50:53):
getting the guardianship and conservatorship these are all words that
I had no clue about beforehand, but that that was
canceled because Dad was no longer around, and so Jeff
was in a nursing home and they were waiting on
me to get the guardianship for Dad so I could

(51:15):
make a decision about Jeff's remains. And and uh so
that wasn't going to be possible. But now that they
had the death certificate for Dad and Jeff, we we
decided to cremate their their bodies. And you know, people

(51:36):
have strong feelings either way about that, and I'm not
gonna here to argue, but I'm i am going to say,
to be absent from the body is to be present
with the Lord. And that's that's all I need to know.
And as far as getting their ashes, if if we do,
we do, If we don't, we don't, I just uh,

(51:57):
we we just have We have the memories of Dad
and Jeff and know that they're with Jesus, and that
is that brings perfect comfort to me in the In
the meantime, the business end of it, our attorneys are
gonna file probate and and we'll see how that all goes.
I'm the I'm the last surviving relative, so I don't

(52:19):
think it'll be too.

Speaker 1 (52:20):
You know that there's so much to that, you know,
and especially when you have two at one time, and man,
I can't even imagine. I've been through the one at
a time, but I've never been through a two at
a time, and so those are different. I'm so glad though,
that the God that God says in his word, you

(52:41):
can cast your cares on me, because I care for you.
And I'm thankful that we that we have an advocate
and one that comes alongside this, especially in times like that,
you know, when we really need the consolance and the
reassurance that we've that we've not done the wrong thing,

(53:01):
but that we that we've walked as truly as we can.
And you know, all all of those decisions are hard decisions, difficult,
and but we have to deal with.

Speaker 2 (53:11):
Them, that's right. So somebody's got to do it if.

Speaker 1 (53:13):
I have the Holy spirit, yeah, you know, walking through
he said, you know, the Word says that to give
you wisdom, and and he will, you know. And sometimes
sometimes he uses this that scripture about you know, man
plans these ways, but I'll direct the steps, and sometimes
so glad he does.

Speaker 2 (53:31):
That Proverbs sixteen nine in my life verse. But you know,
one of the things fred I was actually encouraged about
is that at no time during this horrific affear, which
is still going on, but it's a lot less pressure now,
But at no time did I ever slip and blame

(53:54):
God or you know, say you should have done this,
or why did you do this? Question the potter, you know,
and the Clay doesn't question the potter. You know, the
potter there's his reasons for what he does. And I
just always remember, you know, God's good. He's good all
the time, and I'm not going to slip into immaturity

(54:18):
to blame him. You know. The ironic thing was, I
just finished job back in August, before all this started
coming down, and I had a conversation with the Lord.
I said, now, Lord, do you ever have a conversation
with Satan the way that you know about me as

(54:39):
you did about job. And I didn't hear the Holy
Spirit say anything. I just left it alone. But right
after that, hailed out our roof in our house, hailed
our truck. You know, my brother kills himself. My dad's
in the hospital, my dad's transferred. Dad dies within three
weeks from the time my brother does. And and then

(55:02):
you know, the hot water heater just broke down the
other day and had to get that replaced. And the
truck made it from from Detroit back to Amilla, but
it's in the shop now, and you know, and then
I'm having eye surgery on Monday, you know, And and
I'll cut this short fread, but I'm just saying that, yeah,

(55:24):
these somebody might say astuteley that these are just these
are just life events, but when they all happen within
four weeks of each other, it's not. It does feel
kind of intentional. And I'm just but I'm just so
glad though that I acknowledge and recognize that God is

(55:49):
still good and there are gonna be some good things
that come out of this. We've yet to see it,
but we we can see it. We can see it coming. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (56:00):
Yeah, and you know God has He gives us comfort
when we need comfort, he gives us wisdom when we
need wisdom, and he has good plans for us. I'm
so thankful that he's a good God. Oh many people, unfortunately,
think that he's not a good God, and I don't

(56:21):
know why, you know how they got so deceived, because
if you read the word, you understand that he loves
you to do anything for you, and he wants good
things to happen in your life.

Speaker 2 (56:32):
Yeah, you know, then the enemy wants us to think
God's not good, because then why would you want a
relationship with somebody's not good? That's right, Well, if you
understand that God is good, then you're gonna run to him.
And Jesus said, I think it's in Matthew eleven, twenty
twenty twenty four. Anyway, he said, come to me, all

(56:55):
who labor and are heavy laden, and I'll give you rest.
Take yokupon me on you and learn from me, For
I am gentle. Can try the spirit and you shall
find rest for your souls. From my burden is easy
and my my load is like. So you know, the
Lord wants us to rest, but it comes at a cost.

(57:18):
You've got to do it in him. You know, you
don't do it with self. The flesh isn't going to
give you rest. It's the spirit of Jesus that's going
to give you rest.

Speaker 1 (57:30):
And you know the enemy such comes to steal, kill
and destroy, it's the enemy that does that. Jesus in
that same verse goes on to say, I but I
come you know for all different every reason here, you know.
And so that's the kind of thing we need to
really lean on, especially in times like that, because the

(57:50):
enemy of our soul wants to kill, still and destroy
and then blame it on God. And we can't fall
for that. But we just have to place our cast
cast your cares upon him it because he cares for you.
And I just I just think that there's some people
out there probably that that have experienced some of the

(58:11):
same thing, and certainly all of us have have witnessed
some of those moments of it seems like the enemy
is really pouring it on a job moment almost, but uh,
you know it, it's not unusual that that that that happens.
Actually that the enemy wants it to happen all the time,

(58:33):
but we have to recognize that it's him and not God.
And so I just want you to pray over folks
that that that might be wrestling with some of the
same things or that your testimon has in it, and
uh and wrap us up tonight.

Speaker 2 (58:49):
Yeah, And I'm not going to quote James and tell
you to rejoice through various trials, but just realize that
God has a reason and a plan for why these
things are happening in your life. And I know he's good.
At sixty six, I finally got it. So I'm looking
for what that reason might be. But I trust him,

(59:13):
and if you will trust him, you will find the
same rest that is coming to me. I'm not saying
it's it's complete. But let me pray before we run
out of time. Fathering the name of Jesus, I pray
that the listening audience people going through the same types
of things that I am right now, that they would

(59:34):
find in you a faithful and good God. That they
would see that you're working in the in the midst
of their circumstances, that there are good things happening, that
the timing is right, that that something is there's some
evidence that you're in the situation no matter what the

(59:57):
decision was or the event, Lord God, that you are
working all things together for good because we love you
and are called according to your purpose. So bless these
folks right now, Father, and keep them from making the
same decisions.

Speaker 1 (01:00:18):
If you enjoyed the show today, be sure and get
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Speaker 2 (01:00:24):
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Speaker 1 (01:00:27):
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Signing off,