College Roommates, Parking Lot Fights & HBCU Talent Shows 😂 | Brotherhood, Growth & Real Talk 💯 - The Front Porch Chronicles

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome back Front Porch Chronicles where we keep it real,
rooty and raw. I'm your host, Clinton Fochet, and this
one is a special, special near and dear episode to
my heart, a guy that his energy is unmatched. We
went from dorm room talks to real life growth. Today

(00:22):
I'm joined by one of my day one brothers from
ayes Heys. Let's go back then. It was all struggle
and hustle. He was from Norfolk, Virginia. I was from Alabama,
trying to figure out what he was talking about. He
was trying to figure out what I was talking about.

(00:43):
Somehow we ended up in the same dorm, same for
seventh floor Benson Hall, still repping to this day. Now
we're grown men, fathers. He's an educator, I'm a real
estate agent, trying to do this little podcast thing. We're
still chased some purpose, just deeper roots. So let's get
into it. My brother by another mother, mister Winfrid Thomas.

(01:08):
Let's go, what's up, brother, How are you doing?

Speaker 2 (01:12):
I'm all right, I'm all right. Always good to hear
from you. You know, to this day, I still hear.

Speaker 3 (01:18):
Back from my friends who came down to Alabama State
and whatnot. You know, I guess to the world Clinton folksy,
but I met you as East asked me, Yo, what's
up with hell?

Speaker 2 (01:29):
You know, those who.

Speaker 3 (01:29):
Did not know, you know, Clinton was one of the
few Caucasian students on Alabama. He attended at HBCU, and
I you know, it's it's hard. It was hard to
miss him beyond the fact that you know, he was
his own guy, had his own energy or whatnot.

Speaker 2 (01:48):
You know, like I said, he was a Caucasian guy
on the yard, so.

Speaker 1 (01:51):
I would see I would see through. Now look that
that that talent show. You wouldn't have thought I was Caucasian.
That brou If we would have had video back in
the day, my kids would have hated me. With this day,
my kids would be like that, don't ever post that again. Yo.

Speaker 3 (02:14):
There's a reason why technology is the way.

Speaker 2 (02:20):
You know.

Speaker 1 (02:21):
Let's take it back to Alabama State days, the calf,
the dorm rooms, campus life. What stood out to you
the most about those days?

Speaker 3 (02:31):
I know, like initially coming to Alabama State. Alabama State
is in Montgomery, Alabama. It is decidedly the South. And
what stood out to me coming from north of Virginia,
which is in the South, but is not it's not
necessarily seen as south.

Speaker 1 (02:49):
It's not so O U F. It's south s O
U T H y'all speller speller right up there.

Speaker 3 (02:55):
And like I remember coming to the school, and you know,
when you go to college, whether going to a PW HBCU,
you know, typically you have factions in at Alabama State.
You know, there was obviously an Atlanta faction coming from
up north of Chicago faction, a Detroit faction, a Milwaukee
faction coming down on what I remember is being from Virginia.

(03:16):
It was just me and some guy, another guy from Hampton.
People on the yard, you know, trying to be helpful,
were like, oh, well he's from Hampton and you're from Norfolk,
y'all should link up, and they put us together, and
me and him just like we really didn't have much
in common because Norfolk back home then in Hampton, is
in Norfolk, even though they are literally across the water,

(03:37):
they're ten minutes away from each other. But it's two
different worlds, two different cities. And I found myself, like
you somehow, some way aligned with the guys from Detroit.
And you know, when you're young and you're obviously highly impressionable,
and you know I came there to Alabama State with
a sense of my self, but you still want to

(03:59):
find a click, find you people. And you know it
wasn't long til I'm in the cafeteria parking lot fighting.

Speaker 2 (04:07):
With Detroit with the against the Milwaukee Boars.

Speaker 1 (04:11):
We're gonna get We're gonna get into that in a minute.

Speaker 2 (04:14):
You know.

Speaker 1 (04:15):
For me going back one of the things that I
always respected about you, and I'm in this season right
now where I'm taking things back to my roots, but
I'm also really being intentional in my words. And one
of the things that I always respected and still to

(04:35):
this day was not only your energy, but your morals
and you always standing your ground on who you were
no matter who we hung out with, no matter where
we went. That was one of the things still to
this day. So when I got ready to do this
podcast and in this new season of getting away from

(04:58):
just being fighters, I wanted to reach out to people
that left the lifelong impression on me. And you were
one of those people that besides just like, oh that's
you know, that's somebody I went to school with, I
wholeheartedly always respected you on standing on business back before

(05:19):
they even had the term standing on business.

Speaker 3 (05:22):
Well, you know, and you we we we had a
couple of episodes and you know so much of who
you are initially when you you know, you get to
college that freshman. Yeah, you know, everyone owns with their
story and their yearbook. But I remember an episode, I
mean you have remember when we went over notes house
and one of him his friends opened up the door.

Speaker 2 (05:42):
With a gun.

Speaker 3 (05:44):
You remember that, Yeah, I remember you had And I
personally like, you know, that's not flat to me.

Speaker 2 (05:50):
I remember after that, I'm not gonna go over that much.

Speaker 3 (05:53):
And I remember No coming to me on the yard
and being like, Yo, I haven't seen you around.

Speaker 2 (05:57):
You know what's going on. You ain't been around.

Speaker 3 (05:59):
I'm like, hey, I got pulled a gun on me
and planted the door and that's not anything I play with.
That doesn't seem like a welcome environment to me. So
I'm gonna keep and you know, Nope. To credit was like, Yo,
that's not anything I stand on. I'm sorry that happened
to you, And he was like, I want to let you know.
You know, you're welcome at the apartment. You know, you
don't have to stay away or whatever. And you know,

(06:19):
I started to come around again. But you know when
that happened, I remember because I was at the door
and you just don't like you should have and what
like cause why you you know, coming to the door,
you know, with a gun out. And as you know,
there were several situations at Alabama State where you know,
gun play came into.

Speaker 2 (06:40):
Came into play.

Speaker 3 (06:41):
But my thing is, you know, to your point of
like standing on business and whatnot, I always looked at
it as, hey, my parents sent an individual down here,
and the expectation is that I make it back home
better than what they sent me to. So I never
really had an issue with remembering like who or what

(07:03):
sent me down there.

Speaker 1 (07:05):
You know, it's it's crazy and this is gonna sound
off cuff, but that person that pulled the gun? How
odd was you lived by the gun? You die by
the gun? You know what I mean? You know, I
tell people my story and they're like, what, Like I
can see in their face like half the time they're like,
ain't no damn way Like no Cracker was at Alabama

(07:26):
State and was living that life. Was the Fred too
in the mix. But I remember that situation, and I
remember you being upset about it. And for me, I
was so caught up in Number one is I didn't
grow up with an environment where I was taught Like

(07:49):
how you just said like you went there to be
a better man. I mean, I got kicked out of
high school and was on probation, so got my ged
and went to Alabama State. Not because I was trying
to better myself. Honestly, I didn't know no better. So
I was just trying to get in where I fit
in it and figure out life. As I feel to

(08:10):
this day, I felt bad because I didn't stand up
for you, because you were sad about it. When you
think back about us back there, what do you remember
if you were to go back and look at yourself
back then and look at me.

Speaker 3 (08:26):
Well, there's a couple of things about you that I
remember in particular, and I think it's the reason why,
like after so many years had passed, I'm just gonna
say this, Like you stuck out obviously, because you know
you're a white guy on the yard, and as cool
as I was, I wasn't from Detroit, I wasn't from Chicago,
I wasn't from Atlanta. I stuck out because I was Virginia,

(08:48):
And somehow even though we were both connected to the
Detroit Click, we kind of found each other. And something
that I always say when my friends ask about you,
what I always say is I'm always gonna have love
for Eastdale, for Clint, because I remember when I had
borrowed a friend of ours car and the car broke

(09:11):
down under my watch, and for like three straight days,
you got out out of your bed and drove me
to that car where I tried to get it fixed
when other people were like, I'm tired, I'm sleepy, and
that's always gonna stay with me because you didn't have
to do that.

Speaker 2 (09:30):
I merely like, east can you run me up here?

Speaker 3 (09:32):
And for three straight days you ran up to that
car till we got it together so we can get
it back to the yard. When everybody was telling me
you broke Will Carr and of course Will got to
the car and was like, oh, we just need to
fix it on me two thousand dollars and what you know,
and like, what that showed me was like, excuse my
language to motherfucker who I could fuck with long way,

(09:55):
you know, And that's what I looked back, because you know,
there was a couple of times, you know, when so debase.
Our team would be on the road and it would
just be me on on the yard, just hanging out
and whatnot. And because I personally like, when I got
to Montgomery, the city is so I don't know what
I'm going to be, but it wasn't what I thought
it was going.

Speaker 2 (10:12):
To be when I got there.

Speaker 1 (10:14):
It's still like.

Speaker 3 (10:15):
Look, I went back to Montgomery and Montgomery and three,
and I mean it obviously expanded some more, but I
was just like, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (10:24):
I guess I.

Speaker 3 (10:26):
Expected it to just move forward. I just, you know, hollower,
and I thought it would.

Speaker 1 (10:33):
Own a lot there. I bought some a piece of land,
and people are like, when are you gonna be a man? Never?
Because until the city gets fixed, man like it now.
It was hood is back in the day. But now bro,
you'll get murdered. Like if you go back to visit,
like every time I go back to visit, MPD. If

(10:56):
you're hearing this, don't pay attention to me. I keep
a gun. The car ain't no way, ain't no way.
I remember I went home two years ago and this girl.
We were on fine road and the girl was trying
to merge over and I couldn't let her merge over.
I was gonna run off and hit somebody head on it,

(11:17):
and I'm like I remember she pulled up aside me
and she was like, you cracker, and I at first
I was like, Okayna, I'm gonna take one for the team.
I'll be that. So I was like, okay, okay. So
she followed me into the thing. Oh old Clinton popped
out real quick. Zero to Chris Brown, I said, look,

(11:37):
I don't fight girls, but if you want to call
your baby, daddy, your boyfriend, or whoever else, I'm gonna
be in this store about thirty minutes. You let me
know what they want to go trigger play fighting, we
can go knives whatever. I'm gonna let them, Like Gangs
of New York, I'm gonna let them choose the weapon
of choice. But I'm gonna be here for about thirty minutes.
But that's how it's man, It's wow, wow, wow. Now

(12:01):
it's like the wild West, literally, but diving back in
for one of the things for me that I remember
about our connection specifically was I think just that I
think we were I was a minority, but you were
a minority as well, in the fact of you were
from Virginia. You had this overwhelming energy and the vibe

(12:25):
you were from VA. You had slick talk, like everybody's like,
what are you even talking about? Just like they would
say stuff and jitting and all that stuff that we
didn't really know. But we knew when it went down
that we at least had some people that we was down.
And there were some of them that were down. There
were some of them that weren't all the way down.

(12:48):
But you know, you get in where you fit in,
and it is what it is. Let me ask you
if you were some of our college selves, what would
that be.

Speaker 2 (13:00):
Well, I'm to Alabama State.

Speaker 3 (13:03):
When I left Alabama State, I absolutely positively believed.

Speaker 2 (13:07):
I was ready for the world i went.

Speaker 3 (13:10):
I went to Alabama State knowing I wanted to go
into education. I did not know when I got to
Alabama State that at the time, Alabama State was the
number two largest education educator producer for black educators in America.
I know that, but like they prepped me between testing

(13:30):
and schooling, I was ready beyond the classroom. What I
appreciate Alabama State was for opening me up to more
of just being honest the black experience. Like I met
people from Los Angeles from Detroit, I met people from Chicago.

(13:51):
I knew people from Atlanta, I met people from Mobile
I met. I remember like meeting a guy in him being,
you know, like hey, being like who's ugk?

Speaker 2 (14:06):
Or you don't like eight ball? And MJG, who's eight bar?

Speaker 3 (14:10):
I remember being upset because they weren't enough big at
the part. They were like, boy, you in the South,
the real South, the real South. And when I finished
at Alabama, say, I had met all these people and
they had like made it such an impression on me

(14:30):
that I could take away and speak, you know, genuinely
about people who I met. I remember like wearing a
shirt and he'll fit the shirt and a guy saying
to me, oh man, we couldn't never wear that back
of the crib And I'm like, why long, look all
these colors are your shirt? You think I could walk
in my high school gym with.

Speaker 2 (14:49):
This shirt on?

Speaker 3 (14:50):
I'm like, hold on, hold on, that's real. You really
can't wear this color, absolutely not. And I'm thinking I'm
just trying to get the shirt. Or even when I
used to.

Speaker 1 (15:01):
Wear my hat all crazy and cop remember I used
to be like brouh.

Speaker 3 (15:05):
And it would take someone to be like, that's Fred,
He's from Virginia. The moros don't apply to because I
was no idea first. So that that's what I would
say looking back, like Alabama mistake, you know, and everybody
has love for their school, but like it really rounded
me out to like whatever, like blindness I had on

(15:26):
on what you know, you know obviously the world, but
black people specifically are, could would.

Speaker 2 (15:32):
Be and whatnot.

Speaker 3 (15:33):
I left there knowing that there's a tremendous spectrum. And
that's before I got into the five percenters.

Speaker 1 (15:41):
You know. For me, keep it a bump. It taught
me what real injustice is. It taught me what racism
really is, right, It taught me a different perspective right
from all aspects. But because being Caucasian at at HBCU, man,

(16:03):
remember people used to yell remy across the thing. So
I got hammered that way until people got to know
kind of me. And even then some people were like
this cracker I ain't fulling with And it was okay,
it was what it was. But for me, I'll never
forget that one time we got we had the cops

(16:25):
come up to us, and I remember the cop put
the gun in my mouth and he was like, oh,
you think you wanted these ends? Huh? And I remember
thinking to myself like, wait a minute, what And I
had gone through I'm from the South and I dated
black girls back before it was cool. But it made

(16:47):
me see life and injustices and things going on in
this world from a different perspective. I'm forever grateful for
Alabama State for the experience that I had while I
was there. You know, what's a memory from ASU that
you still laugh about to this guy.

Speaker 3 (17:08):
So just just to catch the people up and at
the same call, which would be an opportunity for students
to act and do a dance routine that could wrap
whatever you wanted to do that was at entertainment value.
Clint was hanging you know, as we we talked about
we were with a Detroit click and Detroit you know,

(17:28):
they had their own dance style, their own dance music.
And he was part of this four or five man
group and what I mean. And so the guys, the
first four guys came out and at the end of
the Funny Bone, you always cheerful who did the best?

Speaker 2 (17:42):
They?

Speaker 3 (17:42):
I remember y'all had like the black like uh, black
black satin pants or whatever.

Speaker 2 (17:49):
We're done with the match in the nineties and Clint
came out last. After they had been dancing. He came
out the old house down. Hey, y'all. Clint was y'all
for the next two dacads, brou.

Speaker 1 (18:05):
Bro girls was flying me notes. This was back you know,
we ain't have cell phones back then. I was getting
notes slid to me. Hey, my girl over here wanted
you to I was Lord Jesus, that would be That
would be number one, A close second to me since
you hit on that one parking lot escapade. Bro. When

(18:26):
I tell people my life experiences, they they look at
me and they're like, it ain't no way. I'm gonna
set the scene. I'm gonna set the scene. It was me.

Speaker 2 (18:37):
It was you everybody.

Speaker 1 (18:40):
No no, no, pull.

Speaker 3 (18:42):
Up, remember no, no, no no, pulled off and set it off.

Speaker 1 (18:46):
Yeah, but I'm saying, who was standing there? Our crew
was sitting over here. They was across the parking lot.
It was Milwaukee, it was Detroy. We looking over there,
they looking at us.

Speaker 2 (18:59):
We're here's here's here's the thing.

Speaker 3 (19:01):
I'm out there in khakis, polo and polo boat shoes
right down, and here's and but that here, and here
was my thought my thought process, Clint, Okay, now this
ain't really your beef, but you could mix it up
in align yourself. Guys that you've met. Now, are you
going to die out here? Probably not, so you'll be okay,

(19:25):
let's let's go mix it up.

Speaker 2 (19:26):
Let's go mix it up, you know.

Speaker 3 (19:28):
And so I'm out there and we had sat like
thirty minutes, like you say, Milwaukee over here, Detroit over here,
nothing happening.

Speaker 2 (19:34):
In my line, I'm like, it was a battle.

Speaker 1 (19:36):
It wasn't a parking lot, bro it was a bat
at the point, it was a battle field like it
was a like a fifty yard line. Were looking at you,
looking at us.

Speaker 3 (19:45):
And in my mind, I'm thinking, after about twenty twenty
five minutes, now these guys know that I'm out here
to fight with them, but nothing's happening. So maybe I
can pick up some some cool points because Fred wanted
to fight after fight and they had come make.

Speaker 1 (20:00):
A phone call. Somebody made a phone call.

Speaker 3 (20:03):
Boy that was I say his name, that was Booby
from Detroit. I will say his name, Come get me.
Booby had to make a phone call.

Speaker 1 (20:12):
I've been about that life I'm picking out already who
I want.

Speaker 2 (20:18):
I wasn't about that life.

Speaker 1 (20:20):
You're button that you're button down and Khaki screamed it off.
Pelly Peal in jerseys and Detroit hats turned to the side,
and I'm thinking to myself, Okay, this ain't really gonna
go down. So and next thing we know that Bronco
pulls up.

Speaker 3 (20:40):
This day, I tell people I've never heard of punch.
The next so clean that it sounded like a gunshot
with no kid.

Speaker 2 (20:47):
That guy.

Speaker 1 (20:49):
I've been to UFC fights, I've been to bare knuckle fights.
No at the best precision I ever seen in my life. Bro,
I still remember that dude's yaw ya. Next thing I know,
I'm sprinting across. I go straight from my guy. He's down.
I'm like, okay, okay, I look around. What was the

(21:11):
big dude from Milwaukee?

Speaker 2 (21:13):
There was one I know you're talking about thet I
know you're talking. I can't I know you.

Speaker 1 (21:17):
I don't know who he was fighting with, but I
get it on his friend and his friend went down.
I turned around and I said, okay, two piece boom.
I don't know what happened to him, because the next
thing I know I heard and I was gone.

Speaker 3 (21:34):
So so while all of that is going on, so nope,
starts off guy from Milwaukee. He comes running towards me
and we swear up and we both stopped. Like it's
obvious to me looking back, neither one of us wanted
to fight, So in my mind, I was like, well,
if nothing else, get off first.

Speaker 2 (21:52):
And I swump and I missed how you missed? He
took me. He slammed me. He so he slams me,
and he's getting ready to start kicking me.

Speaker 3 (22:04):
And right when he was about to start kicking me,
Mark Will from Detroit came and cleaned his clock like
he just disappeared.

Speaker 2 (22:12):
Mark Will picks me up, and that's when I hit.

Speaker 1 (22:14):
The Mark Will had that man's strength. He's like a samoan.
You know what I'm Samoans are just born bench pressing
three hundred pounds. I'll never forget you coming up. And
you weren't mad that you got rolled up under the car.
You wasn't mad about all of that. You went straight
at booby, booby, how the hell you go get a phone?

(22:37):
So now he mad at me, he boom, he mad
at me.

Speaker 3 (22:41):
I'm like, holme on they seeing me, you was gone,
how you mad?

Speaker 2 (22:46):
Like fuck your friend? How you mad at me?

Speaker 1 (22:49):
I was praying. Let me ask you if if you
if that college version of you could see you now,
what do you think they would?

Speaker 2 (22:57):
Sorry, college virgin of me?

Speaker 3 (22:59):
Honestly, he probably be a little bit like you know,
this is how I ended up because the college version
of me all he wanted to do was get back
to Norfolk, get the work, not get rolled on the cars,
and not get rolled under cause you know, for so
long in my life, even back at Alabama State, my
life has been focused on my son who who I

(23:19):
had at Alabama State.

Speaker 2 (23:21):
I don't think Alabama State when.

Speaker 3 (23:25):
Fred would be up at where we are at right now,
I don't think.

Speaker 1 (23:31):
Definitely don't think thinking back about you. You were the
most consistent person that I've ever met. Like if I
was to say, hey, this is how here minus you
having Christian when you did, if I was to gamble,
this is what his life would be? It is exactly

(23:52):
you are the person and the energy and the vibe
that I always thought and knew that you would be
for me, I would say I would be shocked. Back then, man,
I didn't even know what real life was until I
went to like deep intensive therapy like six years ago,

(24:14):
I didn't know what real life was like. I didn't
know what healthy relationships were like. I knew what it
was to have connections, but I also knew that for me,
I had these things that were weighing on me that
I didn't want people to know, and some things that
were so traumatizing. So for me, I look back at

(24:38):
that kid and say, he would be proud because, you know,
over the past six years I worked really hard to
acknowledge and change myself as a person, as a father,
I would say, I'm proud of so fast forward, this
is crazy where dad's meantime five long pull out game week.

(25:03):
Now my fight game is strong. Don't get me wrong.
How was become How did becoming a dad shift your life?

Speaker 2 (25:13):
Well?

Speaker 3 (25:14):
I look at it kind of in like two phases.
There was Christian's birth and then me getting custody of Christian.
You know, at Alabama when he was born, his mother
went to Indianapolis to have him, and she brought him
back to Alabama State and that's when he would be
with me on the yard with Will and Steve, my

(25:34):
two roommates, and I'd be walking around the yard with him. Initially,
it really wasn't that big a deal, you know, because
I had a father growing up and to have a child.
Initially it was a whole thing of, well, I had
a father, my son is not is not not going
to have a father.

Speaker 2 (25:53):
And then like initially like he's on the yard or whatever.

Speaker 3 (25:57):
And then Keisha graduated, his mother graduate, and then they
came to stay with me in Norfolk. We had a
little bit of turbulence, and then I got a Christian
when he was five, So from five on.

Speaker 2 (26:10):
It was me and him.

Speaker 3 (26:11):
But once I got custody of him, everything that I
did was.

Speaker 2 (26:19):
All intents and purposes, just focused on him.

Speaker 3 (26:22):
I have this hashtag that I picked up called just
One Son, and I really like poured into him this
whole thing of like, hey, playboy, it's all you. You're
going to get it off. You don't have a sibling
to split it with, you don't have a sibling with
your dad. I couldn't make it because it's all you.
To the point where Christian, when he was like nine

(26:42):
to ten, he expressed to me he was like, you know, Dad,
I feel like you want me to be perfect. And
I was like, oh, it sucks for you, tough break,
You'll be all right, because I felt like, you know,
you're never going to feel like, well, my dad wasn't
there for me, or I didn't get enough, because you're
going to get it off. It's just me and you.

(27:04):
I don't have any other children. I'm in aught at
that time. Your grandparents are here, your aunts are here.
You're not gonna want for anything. And he's an adult now.
But I really dedicated of my life to like being like, yo,
if you want it, and if I can provide it
for you, you're gonna get it, with the hope that
it would pay off with him being a civilized human

(27:25):
being and being able to function in the world. And
so far as has seemed to pan out.

Speaker 1 (27:30):
One of the things I've learned is a parent, and
you know, people always trying to be like, I don't
know why, man. Kids are gonna do what they want
to do. All we can do is give them the tools.
My oldest daughter, I learned that with her, and it
took me going through a lot of therapy and stuff
to learn unlearned traits that I learned as a father.

(27:53):
Right because we're taught, we were taught in a different generation.
We were taught if your parents says that was you
didn't question it. It was just is what it is,
you better do it. Whereas now it's not that. So
like my daughter, I had to learn to listen to
to acknowledge.

Speaker 3 (28:14):
It's a different hold on. But that to your point,
I just want to add, it really is. It's a
toss up. Like you mentioned, I'm an educator. I work
with children who get everything they want, had their feet
turned over twice a month, and just to be honest
with you, they're horrible. And I work with babies who
have extreme home conditions and every day they come to

(28:36):
school with their face Like mister Thomas, what we learned
in the.

Speaker 2 (28:39):
Day, it really is a toss up.

Speaker 3 (28:42):
You can pour into a baby all you want, and
if they're determined, they're not gonna buy into what you
are sharing with them as a parent and what you're
gonna do.

Speaker 1 (28:49):
And one of the things that I've learned is with
emotional stuff, like I've got a friend of mine who
he had what you would prote typical say, had the
silver spoon life or whatever, but his dad didn't give
him attention or whatever and made it more about what

(29:12):
he could financially do for him instead of the time.
And so my friend will look at me and like
we'll talk about stuff, and he'll be like, well, I
feel bad talking about my stuff because of all of
the things you had to go through. And I'm like, man,
what's turmoil to me? I ain't gonna be turmoil to you.
And what was tough for me, it might not be
tough for you. So we all walk a ass And

(29:35):
so that's why with my kids, I know I learned
to just I give them the tools and then I,
quite honestly, I let them fail when they need, when
they when they want to choose, because it teaches them
to be more conscious with decisions as they get older.
So is there anything that you would do now as

(29:57):
a father that's intentional that we didn't have growing up?
Talking about how things are different.

Speaker 2 (30:04):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (30:05):
That's a tough question because you say that we didn't
have I personally, you know my father, you know super dad.

Speaker 2 (30:12):
I can't.

Speaker 3 (30:13):
I honestly, I can't find a fault with my father.
I can find a fault with myself as a father,
which Christian recently he took me out for father's day
last year, and he shared with me that he was like,
you know, I feel like we grew up in a
house that wasn't very big on sharing emotionally, and he

(30:33):
said that he felt that he wished there were times
when he felt like he could not share exactly how
he felt, which raising him I didn't feel that way.
I'm like, hey, I'm available talking to me. But guess what,
it doesn't matter how I felt he was sharing it.
He felt like there were times when he couldn't share
with me. And I told him, like, I hate that
you felt felt that way because I was always open

(30:54):
and available. But I also know from just who I
am or was the father, and from myself is telling
me I was hard on Christian. Now, part of me
being hard was because he was the only child, and
I told him I don't have another child to be like,
oh well, I get it right on this one.

Speaker 2 (31:08):
It's just you. So I was hard on him.

Speaker 3 (31:11):
So if I could go back and acknowledge that that
was something that you know, you can go back in time,
and I hate to play that game, but I would acknowledge, Okay,
maybe give an opportunity for Christian to be more expressive
in the house with his emotions.

Speaker 1 (31:27):
Fast forward. You're an educator. Now, what's something about teaching
that most people outside wouldn't understand?

Speaker 3 (31:35):
I think the general thinking of education is that students
come in and educators just teach, and on June first,
we get out and we have off till September something.
I mean, everybody don't teach us get summers off like
I've been teaching since two thousand. Summers off is not

(31:58):
a thing. First of all, school doesn't in June first.
This year, I got off on June twentieth. Second of all,
throughout the summer, your principals are reaching out to you.
You have to come back for professional development, you come
back a week earlier.

Speaker 2 (32:11):
This summer has encroached in.

Speaker 3 (32:13):
It's not teachers having summer offer thing, so I would
think I would think One is the fact that summersof
doesn't don't exist, and teachers are more than just teachers.

Speaker 2 (32:25):
Teachers are nurses, psychiatrists.

Speaker 3 (32:28):
Doctors, moms, dads, mentors, there, everything, and who knows who's
going to see this, but I want them to know
that's if the teacher chooses to take on that role.
Because I'm someone who I know I love teaching when
I walked on to Alabama State's campus, I know I
wanted to be a teacher. I got my degree, I

(32:50):
went home, started teaching, got my master's twenty five years
in rare as the day when I lead the classroom
thinking I should.

Speaker 2 (32:56):
Have took some business courses.

Speaker 3 (32:57):
I love teaching, but I've worked with some people, people
who know, hey, eight o'clock, I'm in the building. Three thirty,
I'm out the door. Don't ask me for nothing else.
If your baby gets one of those teachers. That's why
it's important for parents to be involved on all aspects
of their child's education. Like I know, like just finishing
during COVID. It's not required of me. But guess what,
a baby didn't have a book. I'm driving to that

(33:19):
baby house. Here, go to book. Here, go to book.
Other teachers weren't doing that, and guess what, that wasn't
part of their job description. They didn't have to do it.
I did because I wanted my babies to have a book.
Because that's how I and so like to answer your question,
what do people and I know, like teachers are asked
to do all of those things. Now, whether they do
it or not, that's up to the end of the day.

Speaker 1 (33:40):
That's there's not enough when Thomas is out there. And
I mean, I know, like my cousin is an educator
and she's bomb diggity, same way, like she stresses herself
out about ways that she can help the kids. But again,
there's a lot of people in there that are just
there for you know, a check, and I did it

(34:03):
being a teacher. It's hard, man. You don't get paid
a lot. It is and you it's multi faceted. It's
the same thing like with real estate. People think, oh,
you got a salesperson. No, brother, I am a psychiatrist
first and for the most because I'm juggling people's emotions,
the other agent's emotion, the sellers, the buyer like people

(34:24):
are so emotional. So it's a teacher. I couldn't even
imagine thirty sumi people in a class, six classes a day,
whatever the case. Maybe die. Speaking of that, what do
you think is the biggest difference between the classroom when
we grew up in the classroom.

Speaker 2 (34:42):
Well, here's the thing.

Speaker 3 (34:44):
Since I entered the classroom in twenty twenty twenty five,
literally I've taught two generations. Like I've taught students who
now have children, So I've taught two generations like I've
taught children who had parents and now those parents have
been made grandparents. The top of my head, the biggest
difference is I remember in two thousand, if I had
an issue with a child, I would go to the

(35:05):
parent and I say, hey, Joe is causing issues in
my class and on the whole it would get dealt
with right there in my face, in front of me.
Why are you giving mister Thomas a whole time? This
is that another as opposed to twenty twenty five. Joe
louis causing the problem with my time in my class
a lot of times, not all the times, but a
lot of the times. It's well, mister Thomas, what did

(35:27):
you do? And you know what I told Joe he
don't have to listen. That's a real thing, and it's
to the point as educator it's like, Okay, I see
this student knows. This child knows that they can do
no wrong. So they legitimately have entered my class with
the thinking why would I have to listen to what
you have to say, mister Thomas. No matter what you say,

(35:49):
my mom, my father, my grandparents, they're.

Speaker 2 (35:51):
Not buying it.

Speaker 3 (35:52):
That's that's the biggest difference. That in the explosion of
special education in the classroom so many students.

Speaker 1 (36:01):
Yes, back in the day, it used to be I know,
my daughter had a situation at school, and then we're
talking about documentation and I'm gonna tell you the whole dilemma.
So my nine year old, when she was in kindergarten,
she's not very fleet footed. She's kind of slow. She's
bein't gonna fight. Now, she's a mastermind. She'll get her

(36:23):
siblings to fight for her all day, but she ain't
gonna fight. And so she was at school and she
was in kindergarten and this girl was chasing her, trying
to fight her. So she ran. She said, Dad, I
ran as much as I could, but then I got tired.
I said, well, it probably wasn't much. She said, yeah,
it was just around the corner. And she told the
little girl, she said, if you put your hands on me,

(36:43):
I'm gonna call my daddy. He's gonna come up here
with his gun. We in California, bro them folks, call me.
Do you have a gun in the house. Yes, I
got a gun in the house. It's locked up it's key,
it's everything. So then come in and I said, hey, Stan,
she shouldn't have said that. I'm gonna take care of that.
But I think we're diverting from what the root of

(37:07):
that was, right, and I'm gonna handle my business. But
she wouldn't have had to say that if this girl
wouldn't trying to run up own her like, so are
we gonna handle that? So then they said something to her.
Then they came back and said that they wanted my
daughters suspended and they were gonna call the police. And man,
it turned into this big fiasco. And I'm like, back

(37:28):
in the day, it wouldn't have been all that. It
would have been like, hey, don't do that. We're grown
now and we've evolved. But what part of you had
to die for you this version of you.

Speaker 2 (37:40):
To be well?

Speaker 3 (37:42):
So much of this version in front of you right
now is the result of a divorce. But I got
married in two thousand and what twelve, and my marriage
I was married for six years and then I went
through a divorce, and you know, we want to have to
go into all that. My ex wasn't happy we're going

(38:04):
through a divorce. I wasn't I didn't want a divorce.
I wanted to work on the marriage. But you know,
it is what it is, and what happens is I'm
depressed and I've never been depressed in my life, and
I don't recognize it. And I have a free friends,
a few friends up here who recognize, like, yo, you

(38:26):
need to go to therapy. And you know, I grew
up in a you know, a Bible background. It's like,
you know, you go to God. You ain't going to
talk to nobody. But anyway, they convinced me, I go.
I go to therapy. It works, it's real. Anyone who
needs it, you should go to therapy. And I had
got to this point in therapy and I kept saying,
I just want to get back to being me. I

(38:47):
just I don't feel like myself. And it took a
friend of mine who said, you know, when Fred, you
keep saying that you want to get back to being you,
that's never going to happen to you. That you're seeking
was married, was happily married, and wanted to be with
your ex wife. She's gone, she's not coming back. You
have to craft a new you, and it's going to

(39:09):
be hard, but you have to do it. So if
something about that conversation resonated with me, because I literally
was saying, I just want to get back to the
old me. And there was no way ever I could
play lottery for one hundred years. I never was going
to give back to the old me. And you know,
through therapy, and you know, there was a friend of

(39:29):
mine who told me everything about you has to change.
You need a new cologne, you need new underwear, you
need new clothes, you need to leave that person.

Speaker 1 (39:37):
In the work out the maths yo.

Speaker 2 (39:41):
I started going to the and yo. And that's how
like this person that I am now.

Speaker 3 (39:49):
And the crazy thing about it is, you know, part
of it is, you know my son who when the
divorce happened, Christian was a sophomore in college, so he
saw his dad absolutely happy, and it's said his father
absolutely devastated.

Speaker 2 (40:04):
And he's seeing his father now.

Speaker 3 (40:06):
And you know, so much of me getting better was
and it goes back to my point of you know,
raising a decent child of like you know that boy
in college, you know, you on the yard ripping and running,
but you better believe like every Friday, I would get
a call from him like, hey Dad, just checking in.

Speaker 2 (40:23):
Are you doing okay and whatnot.

Speaker 3 (40:27):
But like like you said, the person I am today,
it's it's me like just essentially just changing my life
and closing that chapter and whatnot. Because like if I
had my druggs out and you know, everything could be right,
you know, I wouldn't have wanted a divorce, but these
are things that happen.

Speaker 1 (40:45):
And we evolved. That's the hardest party killing, Yeah, you
have to. That's the hardest part is killing that. And
that's where it's a scaredness. But it's also ego. There's
so many things and we don't know, uncomfortable with change.
And so for me, I know, it was really hard

(41:05):
for me saying like what happened to me as a kid,
because I went to therapy and that's where it was rebuilt.
I was sexually assaulted as a kid, and it was
by a family member, and you know, we're taught, you know,
you're not supposed to tell on family members. But it
all it all tied back because when I started going
to therapy, like I would talk and you know, we

(41:26):
laughed about But I've got at least five kids by
three different women, right, and there's no telling how many,
probably more kids I have out there, and I don't
say that is to be cool, but it's who I was, like.
I slept with any and everything. Once I was going
to therapy, my therapist was like, well, does this make
sense to you? And I'm like what? She was like,

(41:49):
You've gone through your life in projects and putting yourself
in dangerous gunplay situations. You've slept with hundreds of women,
you got all these You're a fighter, you're doing all
these things. She was like, you're trying to prove your
manhood through traits that you thought or think make you

(42:09):
more manly. And it was when she said that I
was like, damn, Like that's crazy and I had to
kill off that version of myself and put that ego
to the side. And when I first started talking about
my story, I didn't do it. People like some people
get on here and they want to sell you these
books and they want to talk about their now their gurus,

(42:33):
and they want you to buy their coaching. I don't
do any of that. I don't want money, I don't
need people. I share my story because I feel like
God put me on this earth and put me through
the pain that he put me through to be a
life changer for other people. And so I get on
here and I talk about things that are uncomfortable by

(42:54):
being sexually assaulted, being beaten, about being like all of
these things and killing that version of yourself off because
I kept thinking to myself, if I tell people, then
they're gonna judge me, they're gonna condemn me, They're gonna
But it's like, hey, a bra like until you can
be like, hey, this happened, and man, I had guys

(43:15):
like fighters, all these people that reached out. I've had
people that reached out and said, man like, I thought
about killing myself until I heard your story and realized
that there's more guys out there that there's happened to.
So that's the hardest part, is killing off that version
of ourselves. It's the struggle. But you know, I want

(43:37):
to talk about something that has been taboo in our
country and something people don't necessarily feel comfortable with talking
about because we want to sweep things under the rug
and we want to act like we live in a
society where all people are treated equal. But I wanted
to ask you specifically, it's a black father, how do

(44:02):
you raised your kids to feel seen and strong in
a world that often tells them that they're otherwise.

Speaker 3 (44:17):
I think for me, in particular with Christian, it was
twofold and tried to go out of my way to
expose Christian to as much of the world as I could,
whether that was through travel, whether that was through eating
in high end restaurants, whether that was making the most

(44:38):
of living in Washington, DC and hitting the Smithsonian and
walking Monument Road, because I felt like I never wanted Christian,
as a black male, to ever be in a room
and feel like he couldn't converse with anybody on any topic.
Like I tell people all the time, one of my
greatest moments as a father was Christian. I and my

(45:01):
ex wife were at a Grammy an Oscar party and
Christian was eating He had tried two different types of caviar,
and this lady was chatting him up like, oh, I
see you like the caviar or whatever, and he was
across the room for me, and I saw him talking
to a woman who I did not kind of like
moon walked over there to make to hear the conversation.
He was like, yeah, I like cavia and she was like, well,

(45:22):
what's your favorite food? And he was like, oh, my
favorite food is the grill squib in the ink sauce,
aid being a tecta this place in the city. And
I was like, talk that talk, talk that talk, you know,
just let her know that.

Speaker 2 (45:36):
Guess what.

Speaker 3 (45:37):
I've been places, I've seen things, I've tried things. This
cavia thing you see me doing, that's not new to me.
And the other piece of that is, you know, beyond
being able to talk in those certain rooms, the world
is the world. Be aware of who and what you are.
And I used to tell I said, Christian, here's the thing.
You are six foot one. I'm not six foot he's
taller than me. You're a six foot one black male.

(46:00):
That is a real thing. And you need to handle
yourself accordingly.

Speaker 2 (46:05):
When people see.

Speaker 3 (46:06):
You, you're going to draw attention. When you think you're
talking in your regular voice, they hear you screaming, when
you're approaching with caution, they feel they potentially would feel
like they're being attacked. And you need to remember that.
And especially when we first got to the city, coming
from Norfolk, where you know, his dad is kind of known,
people know his grandmother. And I told him, like, we're

(46:28):
new to this city. There's no one I can call
and be like, hey, I'm Veronica's.

Speaker 2 (46:32):
Son, like people know your grandmother.

Speaker 3 (46:33):
I was like, we have to have our head but
like you know, and that that was in regards to
him being a black male.

Speaker 2 (46:42):
This one.

Speaker 3 (46:43):
You should be comfortable in all spaces, but having awareness
that just because you're comfortable, other people may not be
comfortable in you being that. So that's that's that's what
I tried to teach him before he left me and
went off to school.

Speaker 1 (46:59):
That was deep. You know, even with all the growth,
there's a core in us that's never changed. Loyalty, brotherhood
and faith. Let me ask you, what does legacy mean
to you today as a man, as a father, someone
that's planting seeds for the next generation.

Speaker 3 (47:18):
I don't know, you know, you know people talk about
legacy and like, you know, my my father would say,
I don't care anything about it because if I did,
I'd have more children.

Speaker 2 (47:28):
But I got some of you want to that's my father.
He yo.

Speaker 3 (47:35):
My father says, I'm selfish because I don't care anything
about my name because I have more children. But when
I think of when I think of legacy, when I
think of legacy, I recently just had a student who
I taught in two thousand and two. A couple of
weeks ago, found me on social media. DMed me was like, hey,

(47:55):
mister Thomas, do you remember me. My name is Taate Swan.
I say, I remember you. She was like, do you
remember when in class on Fridays you would bake? Because
this was back when schools had actual kitchens. I said, yeah,
we used to do fun Friday. She was like, you know,
I'm a baker now and she was like, I really
think so much of me being a baker is like
how upset I would be whenever I didn't get chose

(48:19):
to go to the kitchen.

Speaker 2 (48:20):
To bake with. You said, well, I said it will
take sean.

Speaker 3 (48:24):
You know, you got chosen a lot, and she was
like yeah, but I wanted to get chosen every time.
And I was like, well, you know, we got to
spread the wealth. But she was she when we talk
about legacy, and you know, they always, you know, in education,
they say, you know, if you touch one child, you've
made a difference or whatever, and I like to believe that,
you know, over the course of my educational career at

(48:44):
this point, it's twenty five years that I've touched a
few students, not all of them, because you know their
students out there couldn't stand mister Thomas. But you know,
periodically you were coming across a child who you know
you absolutely positively made a difference in their life. And
you know, that's what I think about Legacy, someone who
is at this point about to be thirty years old

(49:07):
and they can take the time to, like, you know what,
I want to reach out to mister Thomas, you know,
because I remember when he was my teacher.

Speaker 2 (49:12):
He made an impact on my life. That's how I
look at Legacy.

Speaker 1 (49:17):
You know, that's how you always been the type that
breaks bread with people. So I could see how like,
if not to gash you up, because if you was
a horrible teacher, I'd be like, hey, you suck, but
you're still my homie. But I would definitely want my
kids in your class, and my daughter, especially my Savannah,
she would definitely be like, hey, you better pick me
every day. You my daddy's friends. She should use it too.

(49:41):
Let me, what do you want people to say about
you when you're not there to listen?

Speaker 2 (49:47):
You know what? For real, I don't require much.

Speaker 3 (49:50):
I want people like depending on who they are in
my life, I want my friends to be like you
know what, Whinfred is a good friend. When I call
on him, I can depend on him. I want people
who I just come across to say, I really don't
know him that well, but when I was around him,
when I did meet his acquaintance, it was a good time.
I want my parents to say that I was a

(50:10):
good son. I want my son to say I couldn't
imagine having anybody else's my father. So much of my life,
what I try to do is to give more than
I get, because I have an understanding that in my
life I've been given a lot, so I'm always trying
to put out more than I received.

Speaker 1 (50:28):
Couldn't see you in any other role but being a teacher.
You just have that natural instinct in that giving personality
and that vibrance that if I was a student, I
ain't gonna lie, I'd be signing up for your class.
I know. For me, one of the things that I'll
always remember about you is your willingness to always give.

(50:54):
But even more, one of the things that I were
always have an admiration is something I talked about before,
is you always staying true to who you are that
in this world is a tough thing for a lot
of people to do, and so you're a rare, rare

(51:18):
gem and that's why you'll forever have my loyalty in
my brotherhood, one of many reasons. But you know, I
ain't gonna lie to you. I've had a lot of
episodes and I've been trying to keep them with thirty minutes,
but I knew ours was gonna go longer than that.
But I honestly needed this episode. Uh. You know, I'm

(51:40):
trying to get back to my people and we're getting older.
I mean, I don't want to say how we are
well we even know. You know, Troy passed away probably
two three years ago. His passing away really weighed heavy
on me because I was a lot like man. I

(52:01):
probably should have called it more when I went to Montgomery.
I probably should have reached out more. And we get
caught up in this rat race we call life, and
we get caught up in doing everything else. And so
I'm in this season where where I want to get
back to my people and get back to the people

(52:23):
that feed my soul and that I can feed theirs.
And it's a mutual thing as opposed to feeling like
I have to over extend or feeling like that I
have to fit in a box with you, I can
just it's I mean, it's been I ain't gonna say
how many years, but still to this day, I can

(52:44):
just be real raw and there ain't no I feel
like I have to sit up and I feel like
I have to whatever. And you know, it's crazy. We've
come a long way, and the truth is we're still evolving.
You know, this conversation really reminded me you don't have
to be perfect. You just got to be present. And

(53:05):
that's one of the things that I've really been trying
to focus on. One of the things that I really
wanted this podcast to be about is about understanding life
from all different angles and understanding that everybody has trials
and tribulations and it's not about where you start. It's

(53:26):
not about how many times you get knocked down. It's
about getting up. And the real flex is staying solid
through the shift into your people. And for me, You'll
always be my Ace Boon com And before we get
out of here, I want to send a special shout
out from the yard to the real world. Alabama State

(53:50):
gave me a lot of memories, but bigger than that.
It gave me a lot of lifelong friends, and you're
one of them. And I want to tell you how
much I truly appreciate you. And you already know I'm
always here for you anything you need. We're signing out.
This is the Front Porch Chronicles. I hate to let

(54:10):
this one go because I could talk to you all night.
No homo, till next time, stay real, stay rooted, and
we'll see you next week on the Front Porch. Jacqueline
Jacqueline

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