May 23, 2024 • 29 mins
Ep. 12 – Birthdays That Count - “The Funny Life Podcast” with William Lee Martin
In this podcast episode:
o It’s William Lee’s Birthday!
o Top 5 Blankety Blanks – “Signs You’re Getting Old”
o Age is a number but so is back pain
o Best Birthday memories
o Ain’t seen nothing yet
Join comedian, writer, songwriter, actor, family man, William Lee Martin along with the fun bunch, tour manager, Lisa Bruce and producer Ron Phillips as they dive into life in and out of show business. Take us in the car, on a walk or watch on your phone while lying in bed or hiding out in the restroom at work! After all, all our lives are funny...lets talk about it. And we will do it in 30 minutes.
Be sure to share, like, and subscribe to this channel!
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-funny-life-with-william-lee-martin--5894622/support.
In this podcast episode:
o It’s William Lee’s Birthday!
o Top 5 Blankety Blanks – “Signs You’re Getting Old”
o Age is a number but so is back pain
o Best Birthday memories
o Ain’t seen nothing yet
Join comedian, writer, songwriter, actor, family man, William Lee Martin along with the fun bunch, tour manager, Lisa Bruce and producer Ron Phillips as they dive into life in and out of show business. Take us in the car, on a walk or watch on your phone while lying in bed or hiding out in the restroom at work! After all, all our lives are funny...lets talk about it. And we will do it in 30 minutes.
Be sure to share, like, and subscribe to this channel!
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-funny-life-with-william-lee-martin--5894622/support.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Well on this week on the podcast, it's a birthday's account because I guess
what, it's my birthday. Willwelcome. We are off to a wonderful
start with I might as well introduceher, since she's blown her horn already
(00:20):
too early. It's Lisa Bruce,everybody, and behind the controls is run
Philip, I go, and welcomeinto the Cantown Drive in Studios. I'm
your host, comedian Weemley Martin,and yes, today is my birthday.
Now, when you watch this,it's going to be Wednesday, but when
we taped it, it's Tuesday,which is my birthday. And if you
(00:43):
can see those of you who areare listening, you can't see the big
scar that I got from Oh thereit is there, we are there.
It's a little Frankenstein kind of Frankenstein, a lot longer than I thought it
would be. I've heard that before. Sorry, nice. So yeah,
(01:04):
So it's my fifty eighth birthday.Happy birthday, Thank you, Happy birthday.
Thanks. You know, I don'tknow if I get excited as much
as I should, because you know, we're not promised a second day.
We're not promised another birthday, andyou sometimes tend Now I will say I
(01:26):
love my wife. Y'all know Ilove my wife more than life itself.
She got me this wonderful book bySteve Martin, his new book all about
his movies, and it's illustrated.It's what I wanted. I didn't say
I even wanted it, but Iwhen I watched it on the documentary I've
been making it. She listened.Doesn't always happened, and she got exactly
(01:48):
what I wanted. Now, shecould have stopped right there. Then she
got me something I didn't want.No, she got It was sweet because
she's listening. But I think atsome point we had saw some guy with
a blow torch burning stuff in hisyard, you know, like weeds on
the concrete or something. I feellike this is setting you up for disaster.
(02:12):
That's what I think too. Iknow me. That's why I don't
think it's a great gift, becauseI do know me, and I I
will burn down the house. Iwill drink beer or burn the neighbor's house
down. Yeah uh so. Butit's this thing that you that you walk
with and it's a flame at theend, and you're supposed to, you
know, like go down the sidewalkand you burn it and they don't come
(02:34):
back and stuff, and it makesme a little nervous. I don't look
at the I mean, I didn'tdo that. The doctor do that.
But that's I got scars all overfrom your house, So be careful with
that little flamethrower thing. So that'swhat it feels like, just a flame
floor thrower. And uh so,uh yeah so, but she got me
those gifts and then and then,uh, I'm now at the age that
(02:58):
my kids don't get me any sortof a gift. I know, but
they expect their damn gift, youknow, but just don't get them one
show him. And normally I don'ttalk about the tour a whole lot because
people were like, we weren't atthe show. We don't care. But
(03:20):
uh, the show, uh hereat home in Arlington. It was a
lot of fun and it's a goodcrowd at the Arlington Music Hall. Thank
you to everybody that showed up.But I did an hour and fifty one.
Not tired. It was tired.But my my brother even said,
you know, it sounded like you'reyou got a little rasby and you kept
(03:43):
taking a drink. He said,you ought to just get you a glass
with just water in it, soyou don't have to mess with the top.
Well, here's here's my story fromthe because I was there. I
was honored to be there, andit was a great, great show.
But you did get raspy. Andthe funny thing, Bill is you picked
up that water bottle six times andit didn't drink from drink put it back.
(04:06):
That I do that because my mindis moving with the joke. So
you're trying to entertain, you know, these hundreds of people, and uh
so you you don't want to Idon't like the lull anything, but I've
gotten better at taking some of thedrinks, so I was maybe maybe I
was like a six for fourteen ofthe pickups. Maybe maybe maybe. Uh
(04:27):
but my brother's like, why don'tyou just get a glass of water so
you don't have to mess with it. I said, you have not been
in these old theaters with all thegnats. And I tried that once and
I go to drink it and there'sa floater right there in there, so
uh no, So you just restthe lid on top of the water bottle.
You're still gonna take it off.You got to put the I started
to say if there's a floater andI'm on stage. That floater is gone.
(04:51):
I'm not sing it because I'm notwell. Y'all both brought up a
thing. It's a great sec Wait, Lisa, you don't know that you
even did segues, but this timeyou did it because we might as well
get to our top five blankety blanks. And this week is our top five
signs you're getting old. Number fiveyou consider running for president. Oh god,
(05:18):
so that caught me off guard.Okay. Number four you tell the
same old story over and over again. Number three, you tell the same
old story over and over again.Number two when it's shorter to lists the
real body parts you got versus thefake body parts to the TSA agent at
(05:40):
the airport Michelle with one L.And the number one sign you're getting oldies
when your wife comes into the bedroomin a sexy neglige and asks you what
you want for your birthday and yourfirst thought is cake. There's your top
(06:00):
five for the week. And ifyou had comments, if you have a
top five sign that you're getting old, make sure you put them in the
comments. And we'll also cut thisup and put it in a reel and
a short and all those other things, so make sure you share that.
But yeah, that's a tough Getsome cake, all right, Michelle.
(06:20):
You know she's blessed her heart,but she's happy that I like cake.
Now, at last he got methis. I got a tear. See
there, And if you're listening,you don't know. And I knew i'd
look at that. You got abutton. I got a button, and
I got to be like all theblack ladies I used to work with and
stick a dollar on this. Youcan get lots of dollars, that's right.
(06:43):
And I have to admit. Thosebags are perfectly placed in this shot.
I know, Yeah, I gotand they're heavy. What's in them?
Well, you know there's no president. Actually, balloon holders, you're
helium. Yeah, I got allexcited. Oh she got me, got
me jewel. No, but Iknow you can recycle these and hold your
(07:06):
balloons at your next fie. Myballoon also a statement said when you're getting
old, your home on balloon,right or they're booby hiders either or so,
Yeah, turned fifty eight. It'sweird. You know. I don't
know how y'all feel about birthdays,but there are certain ones that really really
matter though that that you can lookback on that are that are pivotal moments
(07:28):
in my life. For me.Obviously, the first one because of the
podcast is when I turned thirty.You know, I went on stage the
first time when I was twenty nineyears old and three hundred and sixty one
days because it's four days for mythirtieth birthday. Yeah, it was a
pivotal moment in my life. AndI was like, you know what,
I uh, this is it.It's weird. After I got divorced.
(07:56):
Tim Gross song that song lived likeYou're dying. Oh yeah, it it
really Uh, I'm trying to cleanthis up. It really screwed with my
mind. I couldn't come up withthe word screwed. Isn't that funny?
I had the F word in myhead and I'm on the top sign you're
getting old is that you're like theF word a lot. Yeah. So,
(08:18):
but it really screwed in my mindbecause you know, when you're divorced
for a while and stuff, youstart thinking I'm going to die alone,
and it's it's here's here. Iheard somebody else say that the other that's
my biggest fear, actually dying alonealone. Guess what we all pretty much
die most of us die alone.Most of us is not a package deal,
(08:39):
correct. So uh, those ofyou who are single out there that
you're lonely, just got divorced andyou're like, I'm going to die alone.
Guess what, You're going to diealone if you're married unless you do
something stupid, right, You seewhat I'm saying. Well, I understand
there's a lot of people who thinkI'm going to die alone, but we
(09:01):
all have to face that thing mostof the time alone. And even when
you're dead, you're well, Ithink it's more for me the surrounded by
family, right, you know whatI'm saying. Right, Well, that
was so weird about the whole lockdownthing, you know, when they suddenly
wouldn't allow your family to come seeit when you were sick. I still
think about those people on the traumathat they must have gone absolutely and uh
(09:24):
lived through that. But but fordid y'all have a huge birthday in your
life? I'm not a huge No, not huge. I mean, you
know, of course you're sixteen isthan your twenty first is thirty was thirty
was pretty good? I Mean Ididn't like turning thirty, but didn't you
didn't we talk about this and youdidn't like the half numbers the thirty somebody
(09:45):
that I know hates half numbers likeshe did okay with thirty, but she
hated thirty five. Thirty five man, yeah, thirty five men that that
forty is looming. It's Michelle,That's who it is, my wife.
It's that the next numbers looming.Once you get to it's like it's like
an uphill slide and then a downhillslide, and you're on the downhill is
(10:05):
whole. Yeah, So once youmake it a forty, you know I'm
there, right, But when you'rein this, by the way, this
tier really does go perfectly with myhat and and the earphones and so and
my movie stuff. So I needto make sure I don't set, you
know, squat down because they startto sag. So there we go out
here. Do guys get guy boobs? Absolutely do they Just all you can
(10:30):
do is look at me once.No, no, no, I mean
boob implants, packing plants. Theymight get pecking plants, you think no,
But guys can get breast cancer.You do know that, right?
Yes? Well, thanks, Imean if we're talking about things I don't
know, I mean, why,why would you want boob implants? What's
happening here? Happy birthday to you. You're just going about to show I'm
(10:54):
feeling around my boobs now, justto see if I got a lump.
Are you talking reduction? No?No, no, like i'd heard and
this may not be true, andI am totally uh passing on a rumor,
but I'd heard that Kenny Chesney hadbicep implants. That's far different than
boom but pecks. I would thinkthat would be the same thing. You
(11:18):
know. Uh, we had tolook that up one of these days or
right in or comment on here ifyou've heard of somebody that got peck implants.
I think they do make them,because they also make like butt implants
and all this other stuff. It'sweird when a guy gets plastic surgery,
(11:39):
because you ever see the pictures ofKenny Rogers. Oh my goodness, yeah,
it's yeah. No, Jerry Joneswent back to the crypt keeper kind
of look he did facelift or somethingthat our boatox that went untalked, I
(12:00):
know, sim and Caw I thinkit was was getting botox and he said
he looked at himself in the mirrorone day and was like, I don't
even recognize myself. So he stopped. Thank goodness. Well with Kenny Rogers.
You know his famous song was theGambler, Right, and you're like
you didn't know when to hold him? There Kenny, your eyes actually starting
to touch each other on the nosebridge. Uh now what would you ever?
(12:24):
Uh? You can talk about itif you want to. Have you
ever done any lifting? Any talking? Zero? I've never had surgery,
nothing, So how about any botoxI want to I'm not above it.
I'm not above it. I'm justpoorn can't pay for it. Let's look
at Ron's beautiful face. Now,Ron, that has been botoxed. Right,
(12:45):
it has not been botoxic either.I'm as clean as you are,
buddy. Oh, I have uhyou know, white in the teeth and
there's no caps, there's no ButI have had people go, why did
you get faked? You know?Was deep? I've got fake teeth?
Yeah? Do you absolutely see?Are they really? Oh? That's why
they're so pretty all across the job. Well, it's there. They're what
(13:07):
do you call them? Veneers?Near camps? Yeah? Now, my
wife, uh, she and Italked about whether or not I want to
do veneer camps and make them lookyou know, uniform all the way across.
But I don't even know if Iwant to do that. I just
had them clean all the time forthose to be your real teeth, dude,
they look great. Honesty, goodness, Well, I've always hated my
(13:28):
smile. I used to always talkwith my hand over my face is like
that. Always. I was alwaysbuck toothed, and then uh, I
could eat corn through a picket fencewhen I was twelve. Kids of brutal
to are brutal, especially at thatage. Oh my goodness. So I
(13:48):
think one of the weirdest birthdays thatI had. I was probably seven or
eight and my uncle Caro, mydrunk uncle Caro, and that's what we
called him, and that's what hewas. But he's a good guy.
He got drunk once and brought meand my brother skunk for my birthday.
That would have been my favoritest thingever in the It was a lives gone,
(14:11):
like a live I feel like ifit was descended, I would just
kiss his face off. No,you would not, It would attack you.
It was the worst thing. Wehad it in our room for like
a year and a half. Yourmom allowed it. Oh my mother was
l a clamping. Oh okay,well so was that. My mom was
not. But every animal that couldpossibly come to the house, she didn't
care. Yeh, good for her, did not care, And so we
(14:33):
had it was obviously the stinks.I've told this story and they're like,
oh, didn't it stink? Backthen it was legal to they didn't talk
about that. There was no legality. Now there's a law that you can't
take out the thing because they can'tprotect themselves. And but so the stink
thing was gone, but he's stillstink. I mean the in the cage.
(15:00):
We had a rabbit cage and heso you, no, you don't.
You can't teach it, Scott,I don't know. I would try
that try. There was a reasonthey're not domesticated. But uh. And
then one year he came to mybirthday and he brought uh me uh boxing
(15:20):
gloves and he got my brother this. My brother's birthday is in August,
but he always brought him a gifttoo because he felt bad. He's only
at the house like three times ayear. Did he come to your brother's
birthday party? Came to mine becauseit was in May, and I guess
he was out of jail. Thenokay, gotcha, and uh makes sense.
It's it's my mother's brother. Youknow, there's a lot of brothers
(15:43):
that my mother had that uh youknow the scene and back to the future
when they throw down the cake andgo, well, your uncle Bobby didn't
get out of jail again. Uh, my uncle Caro, my uncle Junior
who died in prison, and uhso yeah, yeah, I had have
a I have a salty past.So but he brought me boxing gloves and
(16:06):
brought my brother, uh this greatmodel of this buffalo right, And I
was so pissed because the model makesmore sense for me. I was that
kind of studious kind of kid thatput together that kind of gloves. No,
well, the boxing gloves my brothertook and just beat the holy shit
out of me. I was theyoungest. I got the hell out of
(16:29):
me too. So the gift thatI was given was used to assault me,
to assault you. Yeah so,but probably you know there's there's a
couple of birthdays. You said sixteensixteen is not important to kids anymore,
is it? Because I don't Idon't think I think eighteen is the bigger
one nowadays. Well, sixteen,they don't even go out and get their
(16:52):
drivers lescense anymore. Oh my god, every kid I've ever known growing up
that day you or before, Yes, that was I got a hardship life.
And yes, sir, my son'ssixteenth birthday took him to get his
driver's license. Well, to thehouse, he dropped me off, and
there he went, and I neversaw him again. My youngest daughter,
(17:14):
she got her her driver's license atsixteen. She's eighteen now, probably driven
the car three times outside of goingto school. Really, my kid was
never home ever. I was neverhome. Well, you know, my
parents had these They moved East Texasby the time I was sixteen, and
so I had to you know,fin for myself and drive myself and and
(17:37):
but sixteen was a big birthday.Eighteen I was just graduating for me,
for me, I talked about itin the show. When I turned eighteen,
the legal drinking age for a littlebit for a minute. Yeah,
So the legislature changed it on Septemberfirst. So from May twenty first until
(18:00):
September first, I was Willimley Martindrunk guy in a ball. Then from
September first to I turned twenty one, I was Mark Avery, drunk guy
in a ball? Yeah? Okay, what was that? What was that?
Fake? Fake idea? I lovefake Did you have one? D
did not, But that's because mydad was a cop. Oh, you
got screwed. I did. Igot screwed. Yeah, Trader's Village.
(18:22):
You could go pay twenty bucks geta fake ID. I was Diane.
Can't remember my last name, Peter'sVillage, trader Village, Yeah, I
mean back in the eighties. Yeah. Now, what was your name,
Diane something? Because my middle nameis Diane. Okay, so from now
on, when we're pissed at her, Diane, her name is Diane alter
egos Diane. Yeah. So whatwould my alter ego be if I were
to go get a fake ID?I don't know. It would be weird.
(18:47):
Did you have Mark Avery? Wasyours? Yeah? Well no,
that was the guy just name thathe borrowed. I didn't go to Traders.
I didn't have twenty dollars to goto Traders have a fake ID.
I had a fake ID, MarkAvery. It was a it was a
real idea of somebody else. Yeah, it was. It was assistant manager
Kenny Hughes that I was working for, and uh, it looked nothing,
(19:07):
licking, probably nothing, nothing,red hair, short, stalky glasses.
I have no right. You gointo buy beer and they go, okay,
oh it was uh. I rememberthere was a place in north Side
and Fort Worth that you literally couldpull up on your big wheel and get
(19:27):
cigarettes. It's for your dad.So did your mom? Did your mom
or your parents ever send you tothe store to buy cigarettes? Did too,
And my dad would give me hischange out of his pocket to go
do it. And I'm like,come on now, I had to.
That's it was the weirdest thing.That's the one thing I would I drew
(19:48):
the that was. That's the onethat well, I'm sure that's the one
thing. I drew the line withmy mom on uh at a very young
age. Yeah, and I meanit. It was a source of really
arguments. But I refuse to goin there and buy them nasty cigarette's funny.
Probably wouldn't have done it for mymom, but I did it all
(20:08):
the time for a long time.Yeah, because I always kept a change.
He said, bring me my change. I wouldn't bring in his change.
He'd be drunk by then. Didyour dad drink? Yeah, but
he went and drunk. He would. I mean he drank it, you
know, he drink Yeah, Acouple of times he would. That's funny
because you know, now we thinkof our parents in those terms of where
(20:30):
they are drunk. I wonder ifour kids is a little you know,
because do they consider us a drunk? Do your kids consider I do not
think my son would consider me adrunk now, But I don't know about
mine. No. I stopped drinkingabout three years ago, and that was
for health reasons for me. Somy youngest daughter doesn't even know that I
have ever drink. Wow. Wow. My dad, my dad was,
(20:55):
as he would say, an alcoholicALKI yeah, and uh, but he
drove a truck, right, andhe told stories that him and the guy
that we called uncle Don, buthe was my dad's best friend who was
also his running partner on these youknow, they were tandem drivers, as
I guess is what they're called.So two guys, right and going all
(21:15):
over the country. But they wouldload up a case of beer before they
left out, and they would onewould drink and the other one drive,
and then they would switch and andthey did that for twenty years. Wow.
And then when I was like sixyears old, I was six years
old and my dad was in apizza hut and Lubbock and he was driving
(21:37):
with somebody else and my dad waslike, you know, I'm thinking about
giving up drinking. And the guybet him like a hundred bucks that he
wouldn't last a year, and hedrank. He said, I'll finish this
one, and he drank the mugof beer, turned it over and never
had a drop for the rest ofhis life. Wow. Yeah, you
(21:57):
know we've talked about him before.He had certain prices that that that was
the that was the place, thatwas one hundred dollars for him. But
I also know that he he lovedmy mother a lot. And my dad
wasn't a great drunk. I knowsome great drunks. I consider people who
can actually function as a drunk,not only function, but are friendly,
(22:19):
friendly and happy and not want tofight. Yeah. When I when I'm
drinking and stuff, I become morejovial, Yes, fun, I'm happy.
Mike is not. Yeah, yourhusband, yes. And we went
through that Friday night. Did yeah. Yeah. I was like, I'm
going to leave your budd at atand D Stadium. Oh that's right.
I went and saw kid Rock.How was that it was good. It
(22:41):
was very late. It was loud, it was it was fun. It
was really late. Top five Newsigns, You're Getting Go. It was
loud, loud, it's so loud. Was it was more late than anything
it was. It was supposed toend at eleven thirty. It didn't until
one thirty, and we had topick up the kids airport the next day,
so we cut it short. Andhe was mad that we were cutting
(23:03):
it short, but we had ouruber driver picking us up at eleven thirty
and he wanted to change it,and I wasn't changing it. There's a
I'm glad we didn't. It wasa great friend of mine, I say,
a great friend, a great comedianbuddy that I know. I can't
think of his first name, soI can't say he's a great friend.
But his last name was Bowman.But he does this great bit about going
to see Bruce Springsteen who played forfive hours, all right, and he
(23:27):
said, and I'm going to butcherthis bit, but sorry, John Bowman,
that's his name, so John,I apologize in advance. But he
does his great bit. He goes, you get to the concert and you're
like Bruce, and then an hourlater, it's like Bruce, and then
two hours later it's like Bruce,and then four hours later Bruce right,
(23:48):
and then five hours later Bruce gota babysitter. Bruce right right. Well,
Butcher benefit, he wasn't singing thewhole time. He did two songs
before and then it was a rodeoyeah, and then that he does?
Does he have more than two songs? I mean, thank god he played
the two songs I know at front, because after that I wouldn't have known
(24:10):
any I do not know. Doesdoes does kid rock have more than two
hits? Probably for the people wholisten to that kind of music? Yeah,
I have? Doesn't he have likeBall with Ball with the Ball by
the Bond the Bond? Yeah?Anyway, Uh, he had jelly Roll
(24:32):
with him for the first two songs, so I was glad I got to
see jelly because I like jelly Roll. But then the rodeo took way longer
than it should have, and thenmy friends who stayed said it was over
at one thirty. It was supposedto have been over at eleven thirty.
Stayed for no. We had anuber to pick us up at eleven thirty
when it was supposed to be over. You left two hours, Yes,
because I thought we were supposed tohave canton at eight and that does a
(24:53):
bull riding take No, it wasit's eight seconds at a time. It
was not bull riding. It wasI'll have to explain it. Yeah,
no, no, we got time. I want to hear. No.
It was a competition. They hadrodeo teams, so there were six teams,
so you would have barrel racing oneach end of the stadium going at
(25:15):
the same time. Because this team'srunning against this team. It was oh
when you were and you said youwere in at and T Stadium, so
this was aig. It was abig area, yes, and there was
no there was no nodding. Whenyou're ready to go, you better get
your on whatever you're getting on,and hang on because they're going to open
the gates and it's when you go. It was crazy, but it was
(25:37):
not It was not well thought.But all the regular rodeo events so is
without bull riding. Bull riding wasthe next two days on Saturday and Sundays.
So Friday was just a rodeo competitionbetween these rodeo teams that they put
together. But it was fun.But the bull riding was at at and
T as well, Yes, becauseI was. I was obviously busy on
Saturday, Saturday and Sunday thing.But we didn't go to that. We
(26:00):
were just going to I was goingto kid rock concert and then they just
happen to throw in a rodeo withit. So you saw two songs of
a kid rock a crazy chaotic rodeo, and then yeah, we left.
The rodeo wasn't even over when weleft. So yeah, Mike was mad.
And what were those tickets? Howmuch were those tickets? Uh?
(26:22):
The seats that we got in thetwo hundred section, there were nine.
Oh that's not bad the way yousaid it. I thought, I thought,
when you're buying six at a time, it has a yeah, a
ron so so I didn't bring inmy phone, Uh for the podcast?
Did you check your phone to seeif you got an invite to this rodeo
that I did? She bought sixtickets and I'll check it a little bit.
(26:45):
Well, I mean, I meanI got party favors, I got
I got a dollar you got toblow hard hard. I've never heard that
before, honestly, say, whichis nothing right phrase? Anyway? I
mean nobody blowing on anything anyway.But my point is my point is trying
(27:06):
to be Christian. That's my point. So uh yeah, so well,
thank you for all the birthday wishesand thank you for you know it was
it was pretty loud. Hey,I got tour dates coming up all in
(27:26):
June, all over the place,so check those out, go to my
website William Lee Martin dot cam anduh, don't buy any tickets from third
party places. Uh, it's ait's a fun show. You can also,
oh yeah, you had all thisstuff up there with TikTok and you
can go find me on Instagram,you can find me on the on the
(27:49):
YouTube, and we're thinking about we'rethinking about releasing a new special on just
YouTube. So and I'm not sure. I'm still trying to hold out to
see if if one of these networksyou want to pick it up. But
if not, we're just gonna giveit to the people. We're gonna give
it to the people what they want. You give the people what they want.
(28:11):
So, uh, there's other peoplethat's done that. If it's your
birthday, I think today, whichis Tuesday, is also Cody Johnson's birthday,
So mister Johnson, happy birthday.I'm sure he's a big fan of
this show. I'm certain he watchesever right and uh, and Cody,
I've got a great song called Godin a Bar, So just call me
(28:32):
and I'll send it to you andyou can record it. And then my
next birthday we will have strippers.No, that's for us, that's we
will know. It's for sixty,that's not for any It's not an odd
number. No, it's not number. It's not living like you're dying if
you if you got to wait fora zero, and how do you keep
topping them every year when you dokeep living and not dying? Boots,
(29:00):
just my word, it's always gotto be about the boobs. Okay,
well, of course, what doyou mean All men are reduced to two
things, either boobs or but asmy old friend Dan Davison says, there's
there's nobody that's a kidney lover kidneysanyway. Uh you know, well you
(29:22):
can't see their boobs unless you pay. My point is, my point is
thanks for all the happy birthday wishes, and we will see you on the
next episode of How to Kind OfSucceed in Comedy in life,
Well on this week on the podcast, it's a birthday's account because I guess
what, it's my birthday. Willwelcome. We are off to a wonderful
start with I might as well introduceher, since she's blown her horn already
(00:20):
too early. It's Lisa Bruce,everybody, and behind the controls is run
Philip, I go, and welcomeinto the Cantown Drive in Studios. I'm
your host, comedian Weemley Martin,and yes, today is my birthday.
Now, when you watch this,it's going to be Wednesday, but when
we taped it, it's Tuesday,which is my birthday. And if you
(00:43):
can see those of you who areare listening, you can't see the big
scar that I got from Oh thereit is there, we are there.
It's a little Frankenstein kind of Frankenstein, a lot longer than I thought it
would be. I've heard that before. Sorry, nice. So yeah,
(01:04):
So it's my fifty eighth birthday.Happy birthday, Thank you, Happy birthday.
Thanks. You know, I don'tknow if I get excited as much
as I should, because you know, we're not promised a second day.
We're not promised another birthday, andyou sometimes tend Now I will say I
(01:26):
love my wife. Y'all know Ilove my wife more than life itself.
She got me this wonderful book bySteve Martin, his new book all about
his movies, and it's illustrated.It's what I wanted. I didn't say
I even wanted it, but Iwhen I watched it on the documentary I've
been making it. She listened.Doesn't always happened, and she got exactly
(01:48):
what I wanted. Now, shecould have stopped right there. Then she
got me something I didn't want.No, she got It was sweet because
she's listening. But I think atsome point we had saw some guy with
a blow torch burning stuff in hisyard, you know, like weeds on
the concrete or something. I feellike this is setting you up for disaster.
(02:12):
That's what I think too. Iknow me. That's why I don't
think it's a great gift, becauseI do know me, and I I
will burn down the house. Iwill drink beer or burn the neighbor's house
down. Yeah uh so. Butit's this thing that you that you walk
with and it's a flame at theend, and you're supposed to, you
know, like go down the sidewalkand you burn it and they don't come
(02:34):
back and stuff, and it makesme a little nervous. I don't look
at the I mean, I didn'tdo that. The doctor do that.
But that's I got scars all overfrom your house, So be careful with
that little flamethrower thing. So that'swhat it feels like, just a flame
floor thrower. And uh so,uh yeah so, but she got me
those gifts and then and then,uh, I'm now at the age that
(02:58):
my kids don't get me any sortof a gift. I know, but
they expect their damn gift, youknow, but just don't get them one
show him. And normally I don'ttalk about the tour a whole lot because
people were like, we weren't atthe show. We don't care. But
(03:20):
uh, the show, uh hereat home in Arlington. It was a
lot of fun and it's a goodcrowd at the Arlington Music Hall. Thank
you to everybody that showed up.But I did an hour and fifty one.
Not tired. It was tired.But my my brother even said,
you know, it sounded like you'reyou got a little rasby and you kept
(03:43):
taking a drink. He said,you ought to just get you a glass
with just water in it, soyou don't have to mess with the top.
Well, here's here's my story fromthe because I was there. I
was honored to be there, andit was a great, great show.
But you did get raspy. Andthe funny thing, Bill is you picked
up that water bottle six times andit didn't drink from drink put it back.
(04:06):
That I do that because my mindis moving with the joke. So
you're trying to entertain, you know, these hundreds of people, and uh
so you you don't want to Idon't like the lull anything, but I've
gotten better at taking some of thedrinks, so I was maybe maybe I
was like a six for fourteen ofthe pickups. Maybe maybe maybe. Uh
(04:27):
but my brother's like, why don'tyou just get a glass of water so
you don't have to mess with it. I said, you have not been
in these old theaters with all thegnats. And I tried that once and
I go to drink it and there'sa floater right there in there, so
uh no, So you just restthe lid on top of the water bottle.
You're still gonna take it off.You got to put the I started
to say if there's a floater andI'm on stage. That floater is gone.
(04:51):
I'm not sing it because I'm notwell. Y'all both brought up a
thing. It's a great sec Wait, Lisa, you don't know that you
even did segues, but this timeyou did it because we might as well
get to our top five blankety blanks. And this week is our top five
signs you're getting old. Number fiveyou consider running for president. Oh god,
(05:18):
so that caught me off guard.Okay. Number four you tell the
same old story over and over again. Number three, you tell the same
old story over and over again.Number two when it's shorter to lists the
real body parts you got versus thefake body parts to the TSA agent at
(05:40):
the airport Michelle with one L.And the number one sign you're getting oldies
when your wife comes into the bedroomin a sexy neglige and asks you what
you want for your birthday and yourfirst thought is cake. There's your top
(06:00):
five for the week. And ifyou had comments, if you have a
top five sign that you're getting old, make sure you put them in the
comments. And we'll also cut thisup and put it in a reel and
a short and all those other things, so make sure you share that.
But yeah, that's a tough Getsome cake, all right, Michelle.
(06:20):
You know she's blessed her heart,but she's happy that I like cake.
Now, at last he got methis. I got a tear. See
there, And if you're listening,you don't know. And I knew i'd
look at that. You got abutton. I got a button, and
I got to be like all theblack ladies I used to work with and
stick a dollar on this. Youcan get lots of dollars, that's right.
(06:43):
And I have to admit. Thosebags are perfectly placed in this shot.
I know, Yeah, I gotand they're heavy. What's in them?
Well, you know there's no president. Actually, balloon holders, you're
helium. Yeah, I got allexcited. Oh she got me, got
me jewel. No, but Iknow you can recycle these and hold your
(07:06):
balloons at your next fie. Myballoon also a statement said when you're getting
old, your home on balloon,right or they're booby hiders either or so,
Yeah, turned fifty eight. It'sweird. You know. I don't
know how y'all feel about birthdays,but there are certain ones that really really
matter though that that you can lookback on that are that are pivotal moments
(07:28):
in my life. For me.Obviously, the first one because of the
podcast is when I turned thirty.You know, I went on stage the
first time when I was twenty nineyears old and three hundred and sixty one
days because it's four days for mythirtieth birthday. Yeah, it was a
pivotal moment in my life. AndI was like, you know what,
I uh, this is it.It's weird. After I got divorced.
(07:56):
Tim Gross song that song lived likeYou're dying. Oh yeah, it it
really Uh, I'm trying to cleanthis up. It really screwed with my
mind. I couldn't come up withthe word screwed. Isn't that funny?
I had the F word in myhead and I'm on the top sign you're
getting old is that you're like theF word a lot. Yeah. So,
(08:18):
but it really screwed in my mindbecause you know, when you're divorced
for a while and stuff, youstart thinking I'm going to die alone,
and it's it's here's here. Iheard somebody else say that the other that's
my biggest fear, actually dying alonealone. Guess what we all pretty much
die most of us die alone.Most of us is not a package deal,
(08:39):
correct. So uh, those ofyou who are single out there that
you're lonely, just got divorced andyou're like, I'm going to die alone.
Guess what, You're going to diealone if you're married unless you do
something stupid, right, You seewhat I'm saying. Well, I understand
there's a lot of people who thinkI'm going to die alone, but we
(09:01):
all have to face that thing mostof the time alone. And even when
you're dead, you're well, Ithink it's more for me the surrounded by
family, right, you know whatI'm saying. Right, Well, that
was so weird about the whole lockdownthing, you know, when they suddenly
wouldn't allow your family to come seeit when you were sick. I still
think about those people on the traumathat they must have gone absolutely and uh
(09:24):
lived through that. But but fordid y'all have a huge birthday in your
life? I'm not a huge No, not huge. I mean, you
know, of course you're sixteen isthan your twenty first is thirty was thirty
was pretty good? I Mean Ididn't like turning thirty, but didn't you
didn't we talk about this and youdidn't like the half numbers the thirty somebody
(09:45):
that I know hates half numbers likeshe did okay with thirty, but she
hated thirty five. Thirty five man, yeah, thirty five men that that
forty is looming. It's Michelle,That's who it is, my wife.
It's that the next numbers looming.Once you get to it's like it's like
an uphill slide and then a downhillslide, and you're on the downhill is
(10:05):
whole. Yeah, So once youmake it a forty, you know I'm
there, right, But when you'rein this, by the way, this
tier really does go perfectly with myhat and and the earphones and so and
my movie stuff. So I needto make sure I don't set, you
know, squat down because they startto sag. So there we go out
here. Do guys get guy boobs? Absolutely do they Just all you can
(10:30):
do is look at me once.No, no, no, I mean
boob implants, packing plants. Theymight get pecking plants, you think no,
But guys can get breast cancer.You do know that, right?
Yes? Well, thanks, Imean if we're talking about things I don't
know, I mean, why,why would you want boob implants? What's
happening here? Happy birthday to you. You're just going about to show I'm
(10:54):
feeling around my boobs now, justto see if I got a lump.
Are you talking reduction? No?No, no, like i'd heard and
this may not be true, andI am totally uh passing on a rumor,
but I'd heard that Kenny Chesney hadbicep implants. That's far different than
boom but pecks. I would thinkthat would be the same thing. You
(11:18):
know. Uh, we had tolook that up one of these days or
right in or comment on here ifyou've heard of somebody that got peck implants.
I think they do make them,because they also make like butt implants
and all this other stuff. It'sweird when a guy gets plastic surgery,
(11:39):
because you ever see the pictures ofKenny Rogers. Oh my goodness, yeah,
it's yeah. No, Jerry Joneswent back to the crypt keeper kind
of look he did facelift or somethingthat our boatox that went untalked, I
(12:00):
know, sim and Caw I thinkit was was getting botox and he said
he looked at himself in the mirrorone day and was like, I don't
even recognize myself. So he stopped. Thank goodness. Well with Kenny Rogers.
You know his famous song was theGambler, Right, and you're like
you didn't know when to hold him? There Kenny, your eyes actually starting
to touch each other on the nosebridge. Uh now what would you ever?
(12:24):
Uh? You can talk about itif you want to. Have you
ever done any lifting? Any talking? Zero? I've never had surgery,
nothing, So how about any botoxI want to I'm not above it.
I'm not above it. I'm justpoorn can't pay for it. Let's look
at Ron's beautiful face. Now,Ron, that has been botoxed. Right,
(12:45):
it has not been botoxic either.I'm as clean as you are,
buddy. Oh, I have uhyou know, white in the teeth and
there's no caps, there's no ButI have had people go, why did
you get faked? You know?Was deep? I've got fake teeth?
Yeah? Do you absolutely see?Are they really? Oh? That's why
they're so pretty all across the job. Well, it's there. They're what
(13:07):
do you call them? Veneers?Near camps? Yeah? Now, my
wife, uh, she and Italked about whether or not I want to
do veneer camps and make them lookyou know, uniform all the way across.
But I don't even know if Iwant to do that. I just
had them clean all the time forthose to be your real teeth, dude,
they look great. Honesty, goodness, Well, I've always hated my
(13:28):
smile. I used to always talkwith my hand over my face is like
that. Always. I was alwaysbuck toothed, and then uh, I
could eat corn through a picket fencewhen I was twelve. Kids of brutal
to are brutal, especially at thatage. Oh my goodness. So I
(13:48):
think one of the weirdest birthdays thatI had. I was probably seven or
eight and my uncle Caro, mydrunk uncle Caro, and that's what we
called him, and that's what hewas. But he's a good guy.
He got drunk once and brought meand my brother skunk for my birthday.
That would have been my favoritest thingever in the It was a lives gone,
(14:11):
like a live I feel like ifit was descended, I would just
kiss his face off. No,you would not, It would attack you.
It was the worst thing. Wehad it in our room for like
a year and a half. Yourmom allowed it. Oh my mother was
l a clamping. Oh okay,well so was that. My mom was
not. But every animal that couldpossibly come to the house, she didn't
care. Yeh, good for her, did not care, And so we
(14:33):
had it was obviously the stinks.I've told this story and they're like,
oh, didn't it stink? Backthen it was legal to they didn't talk
about that. There was no legality. Now there's a law that you can't
take out the thing because they can'tprotect themselves. And but so the stink
thing was gone, but he's stillstink. I mean the in the cage.
(15:00):
We had a rabbit cage and heso you, no, you don't.
You can't teach it, Scott,I don't know. I would try
that try. There was a reasonthey're not domesticated. But uh. And
then one year he came to mybirthday and he brought uh me uh boxing
(15:20):
gloves and he got my brother this. My brother's birthday is in August,
but he always brought him a gifttoo because he felt bad. He's only
at the house like three times ayear. Did he come to your brother's
birthday party? Came to mine becauseit was in May, and I guess
he was out of jail. Thenokay, gotcha, and uh makes sense.
It's it's my mother's brother. Youknow, there's a lot of brothers
(15:43):
that my mother had that uh youknow the scene and back to the future
when they throw down the cake andgo, well, your uncle Bobby didn't
get out of jail again. Uh, my uncle Caro, my uncle Junior
who died in prison, and uhso yeah, yeah, I had have
a I have a salty past.So but he brought me boxing gloves and
(16:06):
brought my brother, uh this greatmodel of this buffalo right, And I
was so pissed because the model makesmore sense for me. I was that
kind of studious kind of kid thatput together that kind of gloves. No,
well, the boxing gloves my brothertook and just beat the holy shit
out of me. I was theyoungest. I got the hell out of
(16:29):
me too. So the gift thatI was given was used to assault me,
to assault you. Yeah so,but probably you know there's there's a
couple of birthdays. You said sixteensixteen is not important to kids anymore,
is it? Because I don't Idon't think I think eighteen is the bigger
one nowadays. Well, sixteen,they don't even go out and get their
(16:52):
drivers lescense anymore. Oh my god, every kid I've ever known growing up
that day you or before, Yes, that was I got a hardship life.
And yes, sir, my son'ssixteenth birthday took him to get his
driver's license. Well, to thehouse, he dropped me off, and
there he went, and I neversaw him again. My youngest daughter,
(17:14):
she got her her driver's license atsixteen. She's eighteen now, probably driven
the car three times outside of goingto school. Really, my kid was
never home ever. I was neverhome. Well, you know, my
parents had these They moved East Texasby the time I was sixteen, and
so I had to you know,fin for myself and drive myself and and
(17:37):
but sixteen was a big birthday.Eighteen I was just graduating for me,
for me, I talked about itin the show. When I turned eighteen,
the legal drinking age for a littlebit for a minute. Yeah,
So the legislature changed it on Septemberfirst. So from May twenty first until
(18:00):
September first, I was Willimley Martindrunk guy in a ball. Then from
September first to I turned twenty one, I was Mark Avery, drunk guy
in a ball? Yeah? Okay, what was that? What was that?
Fake? Fake idea? I lovefake Did you have one? D
did not, But that's because mydad was a cop. Oh, you
got screwed. I did. Igot screwed. Yeah, Trader's Village.
(18:22):
You could go pay twenty bucks geta fake ID. I was Diane.
Can't remember my last name, Peter'sVillage, trader Village, Yeah, I
mean back in the eighties. Yeah. Now, what was your name,
Diane something? Because my middle nameis Diane. Okay, so from now
on, when we're pissed at her, Diane, her name is Diane alter
egos Diane. Yeah. So whatwould my alter ego be if I were
to go get a fake ID?I don't know. It would be weird.
(18:47):
Did you have Mark Avery? Wasyours? Yeah? Well no,
that was the guy just name thathe borrowed. I didn't go to Traders.
I didn't have twenty dollars to goto Traders have a fake ID.
I had a fake ID, MarkAvery. It was a it was a
real idea of somebody else. Yeah, it was. It was assistant manager
Kenny Hughes that I was working for, and uh, it looked nothing,
(19:07):
licking, probably nothing, nothing,red hair, short, stalky glasses.
I have no right. You gointo buy beer and they go, okay,
oh it was uh. I rememberthere was a place in north Side
and Fort Worth that you literally couldpull up on your big wheel and get
(19:27):
cigarettes. It's for your dad.So did your mom? Did your mom
or your parents ever send you tothe store to buy cigarettes? Did too,
And my dad would give me hischange out of his pocket to go
do it. And I'm like,come on now, I had to.
That's it was the weirdest thing.That's the one thing I would I drew
(19:48):
the that was. That's the onethat well, I'm sure that's the one
thing. I drew the line withmy mom on uh at a very young
age. Yeah, and I meanit. It was a source of really
arguments. But I refuse to goin there and buy them nasty cigarette's funny.
Probably wouldn't have done it for mymom, but I did it all
(20:08):
the time for a long time.Yeah, because I always kept a change.
He said, bring me my change. I wouldn't bring in his change.
He'd be drunk by then. Didyour dad drink? Yeah, but
he went and drunk. He would. I mean he drank it, you
know, he drink Yeah, Acouple of times he would. That's funny
because you know, now we thinkof our parents in those terms of where
(20:30):
they are drunk. I wonder ifour kids is a little you know,
because do they consider us a drunk? Do your kids consider I do not
think my son would consider me adrunk now, But I don't know about
mine. No. I stopped drinkingabout three years ago, and that was
for health reasons for me. Somy youngest daughter doesn't even know that I
have ever drink. Wow. Wow. My dad, my dad was,
(20:55):
as he would say, an alcoholicALKI yeah, and uh, but he
drove a truck, right, andhe told stories that him and the guy
that we called uncle Don, buthe was my dad's best friend who was
also his running partner on these youknow, they were tandem drivers, as
I guess is what they're called.So two guys, right and going all
(21:15):
over the country. But they wouldload up a case of beer before they
left out, and they would onewould drink and the other one drive,
and then they would switch and andthey did that for twenty years. Wow.
And then when I was like sixyears old, I was six years
old and my dad was in apizza hut and Lubbock and he was driving
(21:37):
with somebody else and my dad waslike, you know, I'm thinking about
giving up drinking. And the guybet him like a hundred bucks that he
wouldn't last a year, and hedrank. He said, I'll finish this
one, and he drank the mugof beer, turned it over and never
had a drop for the rest ofhis life. Wow. Yeah, you
(21:57):
know we've talked about him before.He had certain prices that that that was
the that was the place, thatwas one hundred dollars for him. But
I also know that he he lovedmy mother a lot. And my dad
wasn't a great drunk. I knowsome great drunks. I consider people who
can actually function as a drunk,not only function, but are friendly,
(22:19):
friendly and happy and not want tofight. Yeah. When I when I'm
drinking and stuff, I become morejovial, Yes, fun, I'm happy.
Mike is not. Yeah, yourhusband, yes. And we went
through that Friday night. Did yeah. Yeah. I was like, I'm
going to leave your budd at atand D Stadium. Oh that's right.
I went and saw kid Rock.How was that it was good. It
(22:41):
was very late. It was loud, it was it was fun. It
was really late. Top five Newsigns, You're Getting Go. It was
loud, loud, it's so loud. Was it was more late than anything
it was. It was supposed toend at eleven thirty. It didn't until
one thirty, and we had topick up the kids airport the next day,
so we cut it short. Andhe was mad that we were cutting
(23:03):
it short, but we had ouruber driver picking us up at eleven thirty
and he wanted to change it,and I wasn't changing it. There's a
I'm glad we didn't. It wasa great friend of mine, I say,
a great friend, a great comedianbuddy that I know. I can't
think of his first name, soI can't say he's a great friend.
But his last name was Bowman.But he does this great bit about going
to see Bruce Springsteen who played forfive hours, all right, and he
(23:27):
said, and I'm going to butcherthis bit, but sorry, John Bowman,
that's his name, so John,I apologize in advance. But he
does his great bit. He goes, you get to the concert and you're
like Bruce, and then an hourlater, it's like Bruce, and then
two hours later it's like Bruce,and then four hours later Bruce right,
(23:48):
and then five hours later Bruce gota babysitter. Bruce right right. Well,
Butcher benefit, he wasn't singing thewhole time. He did two songs
before and then it was a rodeoyeah, and then that he does?
Does he have more than two songs? I mean, thank god he played
the two songs I know at front, because after that I wouldn't have known
(24:10):
any I do not know. Doesdoes does kid rock have more than two
hits? Probably for the people wholisten to that kind of music? Yeah,
I have? Doesn't he have likeBall with Ball with the Ball by
the Bond the Bond? Yeah?Anyway, Uh, he had jelly Roll
(24:32):
with him for the first two songs, so I was glad I got to
see jelly because I like jelly Roll. But then the rodeo took way longer
than it should have, and thenmy friends who stayed said it was over
at one thirty. It was supposedto have been over at eleven thirty.
Stayed for no. We had anuber to pick us up at eleven thirty
when it was supposed to be over. You left two hours, Yes,
because I thought we were supposed tohave canton at eight and that does a
(24:53):
bull riding take No, it wasit's eight seconds at a time. It
was not bull riding. It wasI'll have to explain it. Yeah,
no, no, we got time. I want to hear. No.
It was a competition. They hadrodeo teams, so there were six teams,
so you would have barrel racing oneach end of the stadium going at
(25:15):
the same time. Because this team'srunning against this team. It was oh
when you were and you said youwere in at and T Stadium, so
this was aig. It was abig area, yes, and there was
no there was no nodding. Whenyou're ready to go, you better get
your on whatever you're getting on,and hang on because they're going to open
the gates and it's when you go. It was crazy, but it was
(25:37):
not It was not well thought.But all the regular rodeo events so is
without bull riding. Bull riding wasthe next two days on Saturday and Sundays.
So Friday was just a rodeo competitionbetween these rodeo teams that they put
together. But it was fun.But the bull riding was at at and
T as well, Yes, becauseI was. I was obviously busy on
Saturday, Saturday and Sunday thing.But we didn't go to that. We
(26:00):
were just going to I was goingto kid rock concert and then they just
happen to throw in a rodeo withit. So you saw two songs of
a kid rock a crazy chaotic rodeo, and then yeah, we left.
The rodeo wasn't even over when weleft. So yeah, Mike was mad.
And what were those tickets? Howmuch were those tickets? Uh?
(26:22):
The seats that we got in thetwo hundred section, there were nine.
Oh that's not bad the way yousaid it. I thought, I thought,
when you're buying six at a time, it has a yeah, a
ron so so I didn't bring inmy phone, Uh for the podcast?
Did you check your phone to seeif you got an invite to this rodeo
that I did? She bought sixtickets and I'll check it a little bit.
(26:45):
Well, I mean, I meanI got party favors, I got
I got a dollar you got toblow hard hard. I've never heard that
before, honestly, say, whichis nothing right phrase? Anyway? I
mean nobody blowing on anything anyway.But my point is my point is trying
(27:06):
to be Christian. That's my point. So uh yeah, so well,
thank you for all the birthday wishesand thank you for you know it was
it was pretty loud. Hey,I got tour dates coming up all in
(27:26):
June, all over the place,so check those out, go to my
website William Lee Martin dot cam anduh, don't buy any tickets from third
party places. Uh, it's ait's a fun show. You can also,
oh yeah, you had all thisstuff up there with TikTok and you
can go find me on Instagram,you can find me on the on the
(27:49):
YouTube, and we're thinking about we'rethinking about releasing a new special on just
YouTube. So and I'm not sure. I'm still trying to hold out to
see if if one of these networksyou want to pick it up. But
if not, we're just gonna giveit to the people. We're gonna give
it to the people what they want. You give the people what they want.
(28:11):
So, uh, there's other peoplethat's done that. If it's your
birthday, I think today, whichis Tuesday, is also Cody Johnson's birthday,
So mister Johnson, happy birthday.I'm sure he's a big fan of
this show. I'm certain he watchesever right and uh, and Cody,
I've got a great song called Godin a Bar, So just call me
(28:32):
and I'll send it to you andyou can record it. And then my
next birthday we will have strippers.No, that's for us, that's we
will know. It's for sixty,that's not for any It's not an odd
number. No, it's not number. It's not living like you're dying if
you if you got to wait fora zero, and how do you keep
topping them every year when you dokeep living and not dying? Boots,
(29:00):
just my word, it's always gotto be about the boobs. Okay,
well, of course, what doyou mean All men are reduced to two
things, either boobs or but asmy old friend Dan Davison says, there's
there's nobody that's a kidney lover kidneysanyway. Uh you know, well you
(29:22):
can't see their boobs unless you pay. My point is, my point is
thanks for all the happy birthday wishes, and we will see you on the
next episode of How to Kind OfSucceed in Comedy in life,
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