Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Fuzz, where we envision the ideas we'll
all be buzzing about in the future.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
The Fuzz, the future, black in the future, in the future,
in the future, in the future.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
While the things we talk about on this podcast might
seem impossible or even slightly insane, so did virtual cemeteries,
tattoo ink, incorporating human ashes, and freezing brains for future revival.
But all these things exist as a means of preserving
or remembering our loved one today.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
That's right. On today's episode, we're talking about death and
funerals next to Burton Ernie, everyone's favorite pairing, Death and funerals.
It's a dark side double header as we take you
into the future to see how our approach to endings
(01:23):
might change. So let's go find out how our future
friends will say goodbye.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
I need you all to remember not to trip though,
you know, as we make our way up into the
timeless year. The year is.
Speaker 4 (01:53):
Twenty two twenty five. You die, but your brand lives on.
In the future. Death is no longer the end. It's
a transitionary period. Funerals have evolved from somber ceremonies into
multi platform revenue generating brand activations called legacy launches. Forget
(02:18):
tombstones when you can upload your consciousness into forrever cloud tm,
a subscription based creation of your soul where you can chat, advise,
and post content long after you've left this earth. Loved
ones can subscribe to your feed, Strangers follow you for wisdom.
(02:42):
You can keep growing your audience from the grave. Once
called funeral homes, life cycle Studios offer afterlife packages sponsored
by Pepsi Eternity TM. Don't want to experience downtime after
you've died, planned for the worst with one of Amazon
(03:02):
Primes one hour uploads services. That's right, your whole soul
uploaded in one hour. Still want more, Upgrade your passing
with Mourning Merch because nothing means more to your loved
ones like a hoodie, hands sewn and digitally infused with
your fondest memories. Morning Merch is even partnering with morn
(03:27):
og tm. The number one app for sharing is sad
but sponsored moments. If you thought loving memories were great,
imagine them now, brought to you by Dorrito's the tastiest
celebration of eternal life. And when the big day finally comes,
your funeral and remains can be scattered in sponsored weathered events.
(03:52):
Imagine your loved ones watching your particles drift over the
Grand Canyon, carried by the wind and sponsored by Goodyear
Legacy launches. Because death isn't the end, so make it matter.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
Wow, how many trademarks do you think we got there?
Speaker 3 (04:19):
If you don't count the new trademarks. You've got Legacy Launches,
you've got life Cycle Studios, you've got Forever Cloud, You've
got more nog warning merch as well, which I think is.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
Great, got great play on words.
Speaker 3 (04:36):
But then you've got the brands that we know and
love today. Two hundred years from now, they're still going strong.
It seems.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
Yeah, nice to see Dorito's still doing it.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
Yeah. I like that they're the tastiest celebration of eternal life.
Imagine Dorito's two hundred years from now, What are they
gonna taste like? Are they gonna be the same? People
just love them just as much. There's some good stuff
in there. And I think, really, honestly, if we're talking
about death and funerals, this feels like a natural evolution.
Your consciousness lives on in some form the fact that
(05:10):
it can post content. It's not quite as crazy as
we've talked about in some of the other episodes. Your
consciousness is almost like a machine, just sort of a
gear churning out stuff. People are just consuming it that
they're not interacting with it, it seems.
Speaker 4 (05:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
And can you imagine you'd have nothing else to do
because you're dead or separated from the physical world. So
all you have to do with all your time, your
brain power, your energy just essentially post on social share
your thoughts with the world. I mean, that's all day,
every day. Dream or nightmare, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (05:48):
Well, it could be a nightmare, you know. Suddenly you
find yourself becoming the feed in the comments section, right,
like you're just commenting. You're trolling people all the time. Yeah,
that's the content you're producing. At the very least, they're
contributing to, you know, the universal information database, right, whether
(06:11):
that's spreading out into the galaxy or what have you.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
Can you imagine what our online traffic, our online bloat
is going to look like though, if we have all
the living posting along with all the dead posting.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
Yeah, good lord, I mean, it would be crazy. But
you know, that grieving process would be totally different for
those you've left behind after you've passed away, right, because
they would still be able to feel like they're connected
to you in some way. And you know what, there's
always going to be the detractors of that who are like,
it's immoral and it's not natural and all that stuff.
(06:48):
But beyond that, I can imagine people being happy that
they can still at least connect somehow with the loved ones.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
So do you have a you know, obviously there's all
these different sponsored events, experiences, whatever you want to call them.
Speaker 3 (07:04):
Do you go in?
Speaker 1 (07:05):
Can you choose what you're getting? Do you have some options?
You're getting all of this? How does this work?
Speaker 3 (07:11):
Yeah, it's definitely very ala carte like a buffet. Yeah,
you know, some of it costs money, some of it
won't cost as much because you have the sponsor that
kind of thing. So there's some trade offs, but beyond that, yeah,
you're just kind of choosing. And what I think is
interesting about that approach is it's a way to sort
(07:32):
of like monetize it, but also in a way that
allows people to sort of carry on, because you know,
that can't be cheap. You can't have a server there
indefinitely unless there was some way to pay for that,
so you've got those sponsorships that help with that, so
your consciousness can reside their imperpetuity for all eternity.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
Yeah, I mean this makes sense to me. It makes
sense to me as the next steps brands would take.
They haven't grabbed the death market yet, so it makes
sense that they would go there. And it also makes
sense that they would find a way, like, hey, we're
giving you something. You're getting something out of this that
you want, a way to live on, a way for
(08:15):
your memories to live on, your consciousness to live on,
your conversation, to live on with your loved ones, so
you feel like it's not manipulative. You know, they're getting
in this for all the right reasons, which is how
these things go sometimes. So definitely makes sense for a
future that may be in store for us.
Speaker 3 (08:36):
Yeah, and you know, Pepsi eternity tm.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
TM good to see the trademark. Lawyers will be getting
a lot of work in the future.
Speaker 3 (08:47):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Let me show you another potential vision of you know,
death and funerals in the future. I asked that you
put down any food or beverage. Is as we step
into the time.
Speaker 5 (09:12):
Ah, you've arrived just in time.
Speaker 4 (09:14):
Welcome.
Speaker 5 (09:15):
I'm Director Halden, fifth tier mortuary liaison for District nine
to L, certified in emotional streamlining and licensed by the
corporation since cycle eight one seven. First off, let me
extend our deepest gratitude for choosing our facility for your
loved one's final iteration. Here at eturnecare TM, we take
(09:38):
the sacred act of repurposing seriously. It's not just a process,
it's a celebration of continued usefulness. Every end is simply
a redirection of purpose, a more efficient kind of afterlife,
if you will. The repurposing chamber is just past the
(09:59):
reflectiontion alcove where mourners gather to view the elaborates beautiful
and highly entertaining ceremonial melting process. You'll notice the chamber
itself is sleek, soundless respectful. Of course, there's a curated
fragrance myths to ease the senses, white myrtle and carbon
neutral vanilla. This week, once the final scan verifies the
(10:23):
body authenticity and emotional clearance is secured from the next
of kinstream, the conversion pod descends. It's all very smooth.
Some clients say it's like watching as sunrise, but if
the sun were made of liquefied organic matter being rendered
into high performance lifestyle products. Now, I know some first
(10:44):
timers get a little emotional when the detachment arm begins
separating the neutral lattice. That's natural. It's a significant moment
where memory, essence, and matter all begin to diverge. But
I always tell families listen closely. You may catch something
an echo, a trace as the final thoughts pass through
(11:07):
the transfer stream. It's not sound exactly, more like a
shift in the atmosphere. And if you're lucky, that fragment
becomes part of what's to come, a turn of phrase
or a flash of memory embedded into the Revenix TM,
the versatile material used to create all the products you
know in love, from advanced pants to lawn drones. By
(11:32):
this evening, your loved one will be ready for distribution
in any number of approved forms a headphone spear perhaps,
or maybe a mind connected writing utensil, or even a
magnetic propulsion bike. And as always, every verified funeral attendee
receives a complimentary product of their choosing courtesy of the corporation.
(11:54):
It's not just closure, it's continuity because here at a
turn acare T, we don't say goodbye, we say reissue complete.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
A tournecare TM. I'm seeing a similarity there. There's a
lot of trademarks brands that are happening in the future
mix TM Is that what I heard?
Speaker 1 (12:25):
Revenex?
Speaker 3 (12:26):
Oh, Revenex Okay.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Another TM, So yeah, definitely some overlap here. We have
you go to the funeral home and essentially what they're
doing melting down your loved one's body to make Revenex,
which is this material that is then used to make
all sorts of consumer products in the future. And this
(12:50):
process which I got to witness that you watch through
the screen kind of imagine like an elaborate Rube Goldberg
machine where the body is just transferred into this material
basically used to produce everything. Parts are separated, yet somehow
they've made it so it's not gross or gory like
(13:11):
you might think, but more it's kind of like mesmerizing,
kind of part light show, pretty interesting thing, not like
a meat packing plant like you might think, but more
like technology at work, just doing something where you have
almost like a butterfly transformation, you know, where you've got
something completely different at the end and then you know,
(13:33):
you can walk into this shop they have and pick
your product, not necessarily made exactly from your loved one,
though their body will be used to produce all these
products by the corporation.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
You know, down the line.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
You don't know what it's necessarily going to. I don't
think they could turn it around that fast. But this
is kind of the idea.
Speaker 3 (13:54):
Right, kind of like recycling.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
Yeah, repurposing as they call it.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
Repurposing, is that in response to something that's happening in
the future where they need the materials or this.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
I don't know, you know, I went into the funeral
home I saw this. I know, I don't know if
it was you know, we don't we ran out of
resources or they just figured out, hey, we can make this,
which then you can make almost anything from this stuff,
but we need this one key ingredient found within the
human body. I don't know what's the case. You know,
(14:26):
how this discovery came about. Was it necessity or just
you know, a slightly mad mind. I'm not sure how
they got there, but this is where they.
Speaker 3 (14:36):
Are and this was in a funeral home that you
saw the video, what we would.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Call a funeral home today. There seems to be a
lot of these around, you know, dealing with the dead.
Speaker 3 (14:47):
Do they call them all eterne cares?
Speaker 1 (14:49):
I think that's one chain. I think there might be
some others, but I think they might all be connected
to the corporation. Interesting note, though, you know a lot
of the products mentioned that they made from this, things
that we've discussed on previous Fuzz episodes. Advanced pants, you know,
(15:09):
different kinds of pants, laundrones, headphones, spears, writing, utensils, bicycles.
So these are all things we've kind of looked at
going into the time machine at different future points made
from this, you know, product by the corporation.
Speaker 3 (15:28):
The corporation kind of ties up all the loose ends.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
Almost seems like it does, doesn't it.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
Huh. One might say we've come full circle on the Fuzz.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
I mean, endings they come for us, all, don't they
They do?
Speaker 3 (15:46):
And you go right back to the beginning again. The
one thing I will pull away from the futures of
this episode is that we started the Fuzz with this
idea of the future Buzz and the world of tomorrow
and how you know, we have a very marketing focus
to our podcasts and how that plays a big central
(16:08):
part to everything that we do. But you know, you
see these brands in this episode, and they've been trickled throughout.
I think all of the episodes we've done, right, and
all the futures we've seen, we've seen brands here and
there and products and things like that, But this one
a little bit more so maybe than recent ones anyway,
(16:29):
and I really like to see that and again kind
of seeing yours come full circle. Who knows that future
that you just saw might have been the precursor to
the first episodes.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
Yeah, we both had companies, corporations, brands kind of owning
death in the future, which is an interesting vision. No
matter where we go in the future, is that going
to be.
Speaker 3 (16:50):
The way brands capitalizing on the end the demise and
yet somewhat of a beginning for some of the people.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Way, I mean, that's the thing, there's always a possibility
for a new beginning.
Speaker 3 (17:06):
Well, we hope you enjoyed this episode of The Fuzz.
Tune in next time for more of tomorrow's Buzz Today
to to day