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March 11, 2025 15 mins
We’ve all received it — unwanted messages flooding our inboxes, social media, and phone lines. But how will our relationship with spam change in the chapters that lie ahead?

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#Future #Buzz #Predictions #Innovations #Inventions #Marketing #Advertising #Branding #Spam #JunkEmails #TimeTravel #MartyMcFly #SpeakingHuman #TimeMachine

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Fuzz, where we envision the ideas we'll
all be buzzing about in the future. The fuzz.

Speaker 2 (00:11):
The future, the future, in the future, in the future,
in the future.

Speaker 3 (00:37):
While the things we talk about on this podcast might
seem impossible or even slightly insane, so did email authentication,
gray listing and BAYSI and filtering. All these things are
methods for reducing the junk that stuffs are in boxes.

Speaker 1 (00:54):
Now on today's episode, we're diving into spam, those endless,
irrelevant and often inappropriate messages that clog up our digital lives.
How will we deal with this never ending stream of
noise in the millennia that lie ahead. Will we finally

(01:15):
stamp it out? Or will spam evolve in ways that
we can't even imagine. Let's find out spam.

Speaker 3 (01:22):
What's going to happen?

Speaker 1 (01:24):
Unclear, what's going to happen to us in the future.
And we often go into the time machine and we
come back with these crazy, crazy notions that maybe might
even influence the future in some way we don't know.
It might be like the butterfly effect. I guess you know.

Speaker 3 (01:41):
Yeah, are we creating the future? Are we reporting the future?
Hard to say, fine line true.

Speaker 1 (01:48):
And you know, today we're talking about something that is
probably on everyone's mind at least once a day, if
not multiple times.

Speaker 3 (01:58):
Yeah, when you're throwing something in a junk and you're like,
come on, I just already unsubscribed, I already canceled this,
I already put this in my junk mail ten times.
Why am I still getting this so hot button topic,
big one? Where's it going to go in the future.
Let's find out. Hop into the time machine.

Speaker 1 (02:15):
With me.

Speaker 4 (02:26):
To the esteemed the citizens of Bullet Tracks Avenantum Track nine, Quilocks,
We bring you great news of an extraordinary opportunity that
has reached us from beyond the stars.

Speaker 5 (02:41):
A message transmitted across countless light years has arrived, an
offering from a distant prosperous civilization known as Earth.

Speaker 6 (02:50):
The esteemed leaders of this distant world.

Speaker 5 (02:53):
Have contacted us directly with an exclusive proposition that promises.

Speaker 6 (02:58):
Immense fortune and un paralleled wealth. According to the.

Speaker 5 (03:02):
Message, they are seeking our aid in a manner of
great importance. In return for our assistance, they have promised
an extraordinarily generous reward, vast amounts of rare minerals, valuable technologies,
and resources beyond comprehension. However, the conditions are clear.

Speaker 6 (03:20):
They require us.

Speaker 5 (03:21):
To first send a small token of goodwill an insignificant
amount of our most precious energy resources. This initial investment
will unlock access to the wealth they have promised, ensuring
the prosperity of our people for millennia to come. The message,
sent from a secured quantum relay system contains all necessary

(03:44):
details for us to proceed. It is an incredible honor
to have been selected for such a privileged opportunity. The
liners of this distant planet have assured us that they
are trustworthy and that our contribution will result in a
windfall of resources that will our civilization to new heights.

Speaker 6 (04:02):
You are urged to respond swiftly.

Speaker 5 (04:04):
The opportunity is time sensitive, and only by acting properly
can we ensure a rightful place among the most advanced
civilizations of the universe.

Speaker 6 (04:14):
Sincerely, the Council of Vula.

Speaker 7 (04:16):
Tracks Alvandro Trux nine Quirmocks Guardians of Prosperity and progress PS,
please respond with your resource transfer details at your earliest
convenience to ensuring your participation in this unprecedented offer.

Speaker 1 (04:41):
Well wow, yeah, wow, that's what's happening. So let me
just see if I can dissect and break this down.
Is this a transmission that this alien civilization has received
from Earth or is it from another planet that spamming them?

Speaker 3 (05:01):
This is the real question. Okay, are they getting spam
from Earth? Are they getting spam from someone else pretending
to be a is it in fact coming internally?

Speaker 1 (05:10):
Uh?

Speaker 3 (05:11):
You know, the whole thing is spam just to spam
their own citizens. Someone's just kind of created this whole
hoax to get them and they've never even got a
message from anyone externally. Any of those three possibilities could
be happening here.

Speaker 1 (05:26):
Well, like all spam, it's just you never know, right,
it's a tangled web. It has similarities to some of
the spam that we receive today right on Earth, of course.
And I like to see that because it makes me
feel not alone. Yeah, because misery loves company, essentially, So

(05:48):
it's good to hear that alien civilizations are dealing with
the same amount of crazy spam.

Speaker 3 (05:53):
Yeah, timeless techniques, you could say, And who knows, maybe
if it is from Earth, maybe it's just we've gotten
so full here we've just kind of pushed it outward.

Speaker 1 (06:03):
Yeah, well, we're trying to get extraterrestrial resources, so might
as well, you know, start by spamming people to see
or you know, aliens, to see if we can get
them to just give it up, as opposed to going
and taking it right you're just like, hey, reply within
seven days or you'll have bad luck forever.

Speaker 3 (06:23):
That's probably another one we could have gone with that one.
If we're going interplanetary spam, that's probably you want to
throw out the classics to start with, right.

Speaker 1 (06:33):
Yeah, really interesting naming conventions. I mean, it does sound alien,
so you know it must be true.

Speaker 3 (06:40):
Yeah, if it sounds alien, it's probably alien. We thought
maybe spam was a local, as in local to our
planet problem, but here we see that spam has extended
out into the universe. Whether it's coming from us or
this is just something innate in all beings. I mean,
who's to say the animal Kingdom doesn't have their own

(07:01):
version of spam right now here on Earth, we don't know.
But yeah, we're seeing the extension of that on a universal,
a galactic We don't know how far this goes level.

Speaker 1 (07:12):
It's interesting that you say that, because I'm pretty sure
that i've heard some of the dogs and in the
neighborhood barking. I'm pretty sure that they're just spamming other
dogs in the neighborhood. Yeah, you know, that's why they
bark at each other.

Speaker 3 (07:25):
The other dog gets mad, They're like, shut up, come on.

Speaker 1 (07:28):
Not again, Like yeah, yeah, yeah, Fluffy fell for that
last week, buddy. So all right, well, let's see what
future holds in store for our listeners. Hop into the
time machine with me to the future. Welcome back to

(07:53):
the Fuzz, the show that explores the future. Today, we
set our sights on relic of the past that is
making a shocking comeback. Spam. No, not the canned meat
product that has somehow outlived every food trend. We're talking
about those unsolicited messages that used to clutter inboxes. That's right,

(08:16):
promising us riches from foreign princes and miracle weight loss pills. Yes,
my friends, the future is weird because in the year
twenty one twenty five, spam is highly sought after. For decades,
spam was an annoyance. It was poorly written, full of typos,
and usually included an offer to transfer twelve million dollars

(08:38):
into your account from a distant royal cousin you never
knew you had, But then something happened. AI took over
all human messaging. Emails, texts, and even personal letters became
perfectly optimized, algorithmically precise, and completely devoid of emotion. Conversations

(09:00):
became robotic. Love letters were structured in bullet points. Birthday
messages arrived in QR code form. People longed for anything
that felt human again. That's when they remembered the good
old days of spam. The Golden age of spam returns
in twenty one twenty five. Human crafted spam is a luxury.

(09:23):
People subscribe to it. They pay for it. A single
handwritten congratulations You've won a free cruise email can sell
for thousands of dollars on the black market. The sloppier
the better. A message full of grammatical errors, authentic, a
subject line that says, please respond fast, I need your help,

(09:44):
a masterpiece. If your message includes a long winded story
about an inheritance from a Nigerian prince, you might as
well be holding a rare first edition novel. Spam isn't
just tolerated in the future. It's a status symbol. Well
placed urgent account alert from a non existent bank could
mean you've literally made it. Behold. Celebrity spammers and exclusive scams.

(10:10):
With demand skyrocketing, elite spammers have risen to fame. The
best among them, known as scam fluencers, are crafting limited
edition phishing schemes. If you receive an exclusive hand typed
lottery scam from one of the greats, consider yourself hashtag blessed.
These messages are now considered art. Museums display lovingly crafted

(10:34):
spam emails from the early two thousands, and universities offer
PhDs in advanced spam composition. The best spam accounts have
waiting lists because only the most privileged get the chance
to be tricked by a well structured scam. Ladies and gentlemen,
loyal subjects of the Cosmic Toaster. The future is strange.

Speaker 6 (11:01):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (11:02):
I have a lot of uh, you know, a lot
of questions, some follow ups on that, the first of
which we're listening to the Fuzz in the future.

Speaker 1 (11:13):
It appears, so it caught me off guard. Yeah, I
wasn't expecting that because we've never traveled to the future
and come across our own podcast.

Speaker 3 (11:25):
Yeah, it's surprising. It's very surprising.

Speaker 1 (11:28):
So what year is that? It sounds like it's twenty
one to twenty five, which is about one hundred years
from now.

Speaker 3 (11:34):
Okay, well that's what's being discussed. But typically on the Fuzz,
we're hearing about the future. So on this version of
the Fuzz, are we hearing about the present? Have we
gone to the future listening to the Fuzz where we're
hearing about the present, or would we be hearing the
Fuzz where they're talking about the future. So have we
gone into the future hearing an episode of the Fuzz

(11:57):
where they're talking about the future?

Speaker 1 (12:01):
Yes, one of those things can be true, and I
don't know which one it is. I it seems to
me that in the future, the Fuzz is talking about
the future, but the future could have maybe it's I
don't know, maybe it's next week, five years in the making. Yeah,
it could be the next week. It could be like
this is actually happening. Like maybe the Fuzz is so

(12:22):
popular in the.

Speaker 3 (12:23):
Future, like nightly news.

Speaker 1 (12:25):
Yeah, it's become the buzz of today. The Fuzz is
the future buzz of tomorrow. Isn't that something to think about?

Speaker 3 (12:34):
So at some point the future caught up with the Fuzz.
It's like when will then become now soon.

Speaker 1 (12:42):
I think what we're seeing here is the future is
a paradox. If you're lucky, you'll just get a message
from you know, the Prince Abdul in Dubai promising a
fortune beyond your wildest dreams. You don't know, you know,
and also listening to the fuzz the same time, you
could be listening to this in the future and learning

(13:03):
about future spam.

Speaker 3 (13:05):
Yeah, as you're praying to get some spam of your own,
just wishing to have that that occurrence happened to you,
which is really interesting. It makes sense as it's laid
out here though, with Ai taking over communications, right yeah.
And then we become, as we so often do for everything,
even things we wouldn't expect, nostalgic for the things of

(13:27):
the past, right.

Speaker 1 (13:28):
Yeah. We've seen this as a reoccurring theme. I think
in many of the futures we've brought back, is this
idea that people do long for the past. There's this
like nostalgia. They romanticize the past a lot I think
we've seen which is not unlike today.

Speaker 3 (13:45):
No, right, even things, yeah, things from thirty years ago
you wouldn't have thought mullets and some of the music
of the eighties or things like that that at the
time you're like, this is is totally uncool. Now has
become like, ah, great, great memories of that, let's bring that.

Speaker 1 (14:02):
Back, you see it, even with things like it's why
people go to thrift shops and get vintage T shirts
and thinking that spam, something that we for the most
part pretty much hate today, could be so well loved
in the future. Is is kind of a it's an
insane thought, you know.

Speaker 3 (14:20):
And a thing of you know, value as a collectible
or an ownership or something you produce that's like a
valuable thing of content. I like scam scam fluencers.

Speaker 1 (14:32):
Mm hmmm, scam fluencers, museums displaying the spam messages from
the early two thousands. I mean, there's so much to
that that just seems really believable.

Speaker 3 (14:44):
Yeah, what a turn though for spam, from something that
you know is cold and makes people feel angry to
something that you know creates feelings of warmth and joy.

Speaker 1 (14:55):
Yeah, people crying happy tears because they have spam like
they really made it. They've really made it now that
they have spam.

Speaker 3 (15:04):
Truly a different world that future.

Speaker 1 (15:08):
So that's all for this episode of The Fuzz. Tune
in next time for more of tomorrow's buzz, Today

Speaker 3 (15:18):
To day
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