November 26, 2022 • 43 mins
In this episode, Mark and I chat in detail about how our son Mark Jr. came into the world! With the video we shared on social media going viral in hours, it was only right that we also sat down and talked in detail about the experience. Home birth is becoming more and more of a route people are choosing to take and we are HUGE advocates for it! Listen to the entire episode (and watch the video recording of this episode on Youtube !)
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Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
What's good, y'all. It's Markand Jade, God both here. We're
just a couple of millennials who metat the peak of our careers as a
beauty influencer and a corporate cool kidwho decided that life wasn't enough without God.
Our platform and this show are allabout how our journey to healing and
how following after Jesus really changed usand our marriage forever. We aren't your
(00:24):
traditional churchgoers, and we appreciate thatabout ourselves. Through our testimonies, we
hope that you find relief, comfort, revelation, and most importantly, the
spirit of God. Let's get intothis episode. Okay, So I am
thirty. I means right now I'mgonna try and talk about me fast because
(00:44):
I think I'm in labored Like,wait, what he's here, m J
is here? Really this video we'resupposed to talk about that experience. Honestly,
we had a totally different plan forwhat this was going to be,
how we're gonna tell this birth storybecause with Micah we had such an incredible
(01:04):
documentation of that birth and that wasthe plan this time. But you know,
God's plan in our plan didn't reallyline up. But it happened the
way God intended. So we'll throwout our plan for his any day,
anytime, and I'll at this likeit's dope that not even realizing that we
(01:26):
moved around different spaces in our livingroom to like figure out the best way
to like share this my lifty standpointand not wanting to have too much actual
equipment. And then sure enough weare literally like they have the view as
if they were here when m German, Yeah, oh yeah, that is
(01:46):
that. We did not plan that, but this is literally the location of
where he was born, right herein our living room, in this spot,
exactly where I am exactly. Yes, our plan initially was to have
a homewater birth with our midwife,Tari And if you all have been tapped
(02:10):
in on my YouTube channel, youwould know that I actually have a whole
pregnancy series called My Pregnancy Diary,where I've been documenting my entire pregnancy with
him and essentially I for the lastthree four months, I've been putting out
weekly episodes, and so I wassharing a lot of kind of how we
(02:32):
came to the idea of how wewere going to do this birth and everything,
and show you what our process waslike This time with Tari and doing
all of our prenatal experience and birthhere at home. And so this video
is actually going to be the lastvideo of that series as well as Yeah,
(02:55):
because like y'all, I ain't beenon that we're here, uh at
least in the beginning when we wentto gentle beginning. You're in it.
Okay, okay, that one.Yeah, yeah, but I've been watching
some of the recent ones my diary. You ain't putting notes in my diary,
(03:15):
it's from my pov even that you'vebeen so um, Like Ninja asked
what these videos too, I'm like, where does she? I'm watching something
of them. I'm like, whereis she? Where does she find the
time to like slip off and andand do this? And well that's the
point. You know, A diaryis something that you could, like you
(03:39):
write in your diary and privacy trueand in your own kind of like you
know moment. So that's how Itreated the series, was like I would
sneak off into the bathroom, Iwould go be in huh pat the patio
like in the backyard, like Iwould kind of do it in these moments
(04:00):
where I could just talk and kindof get out whatever was you know,
all my heart at the time,and that's how you know, I think
most of us, if you everwrote in a diary journaled like, that's
how you approached it. So thatis very much so how the series is
recorded and created. And so yeah, this is going to be the last
(04:23):
official video of the series because initiallythe plan was that our birth video would
be the last kind of climactic endingto the pregnancy series, but this is
now the climactic climactic ending of thepregnancy series because this is us telling and
(04:43):
sharing that story in this way versusin the way we originally planned, which
was working with our photographer and videographerCarmen Bridgewater again, who produced and created
the video of Micah's birth that wasso beautiful and has almost three million views
on YouTube, which is just insane. It's actually now my most viewed video
(05:04):
on my channel of being a creatorfor over ten years and I have like
over five hundred videos on my channel, and that video is now my most
viewed video in history. So kudosto God for creating that opportunity because that's
crazy but incredible. So yeah,we're talking about our plans too, So
(05:28):
our plan, our plan was to, yeah, I have a homewater birth,
and we had that plan. Itjust didn't necessarily go according to the
details of our version of the planbecause it went a lot differently than what
we anticipated. There was nothing,I don't want to say, there's nothing
like special the day, but itwas. It was a regular day.
(05:53):
It was a regular day. It'skind of crazy because you know, thinking
about the moments that we consider likebig moments, not even just us,
but like you know, we alwaystry to when I try to, but
it always comes up, Baba alwayscomes up. Right, So you think
about like the day that Moses seesGod in the burning bush. It was
(06:16):
a regular day. It wasn't likea, oh, today's something great,
it's gla to happen. Gone,let me make sure that I spend ten
extra minutes of the shower that maybebrush my teeth, actually two minutes now,
like spending some more time with goutto that. Like, it was
a very like regular day. Yeah. And honestly from my POV, like,
(06:43):
there's been moments throughout this entire pregnancythat I had to remind myself to
remind myself that you were pregnant.And I say that from a standpoint of
like me being cognizant of you beingcognizant. I keep I keep doing that.
(07:04):
But that's how it felt because whileyes, I know that you're pregnant
and all of that, because thisone has been so different, Yeah,
it's almost been like even even thepost and I'm sure we'll talk about this
later, but like even the post, it's continued to feel like, Okay,
like this is happening. She's actuallypregnant, like she had his baby.
(07:28):
So even though she's in a better, you know position, she's feeling
better, she has more energy thanshe's had. Yes, she had a
few labor I don't know if youcall them labor stairs what they want to
call him, but like, yeah, some pre term false labor moment,
but like you have so many ofthose in the past that it was like,
(07:53):
well, she had these for threeweeks last time before that happened.
Yeah, so still it's just aregular right, Yeah, And that's why
I felt that day. It wasI had, you know, been having
Braxton Hicks contractions every day for thelast couple of days, okay, and
that day they started as usual,kind of a few back to back,
(08:18):
but nothing, you know, crazy, I had been kind of just like
the previous few days just feeling um, you know, not necessarily like my
body was telling me that we weregetting closer to you know, game time,
but I definitely felt like I wasmentally and spiritually just holding back my
(08:39):
anxiety about you know, getting readyfor the birth, like not going into
like this obsession of like asking myselfevery day, it's today the day,
it's today the day, and hereyou know, on the podcast we kind
of shared that literally in the lastepisode, but before we actually went and
had him it gave birth to him. Was me expressing just like how I
(09:03):
was handling just being present and notbeing so caught up in just like the
anxiety of it all, because youknow, you wait your entire pregnancy for
birth, so it's like the closeryou get to it, and especially when
you're getting towards the end of thethird trimester, and it's really like the
baby could come at thirty eight weeks, thirty nine weeks, forty weeks,
(09:24):
forty one weeks, like you know, Sarai came naturally at thirty eight ish
weeks, and Micah came at fortyone weeks, almost like exactly forty one
weeks to day, and so thatwas such a drastic difference for me obviously
giving birth to Sara in a hospital, getting an epidural, and then giving
(09:45):
birth to Micah in a you know, birth center, no medication and in
water, and so those experiences wereso different. And so really with this
third baby, not knowing what toexpect, and you know, people say,
your third baby goes, you know, you give birth faster, you
know you probably are gonna go longer, and all these things. So I'm
(10:09):
just like, I don't know whatto expect, So managing my expectations there
was huge. But you know,I barely was thirty eight to thirty nine
weeks when he came, so I'mthinking, oh, he's going to go
longer like Mica did because he waskind of measuring the same way throughout the
(10:31):
pregnancy as far as like being youknow, just you know, I would
just assume that he was going tocome later versus earlier. But I will
say now looking back at that day, I was like weepy, Like I
had a moment like mid day whereI did get like very emotional, and
I didn't even really express it toMark because I thought I was just like
(10:54):
having a moment, a real pregnancymoment, where I just was like very
entired of being pregnant. And thatwas the first and only time I truly
felt like that this pregnancy. AndI thought it was because I had done
such a great job of managing myemotions the whole time, that I had
really kept that feeling at bay byjust like being like spiritually tapped in,
(11:20):
you know, being mindful of likewhere I was hormonally and things like that.
And so like that day, Ijust like started crying in our room
and I was just like upset becauseI was still pregnant and just kind of
like in all the unknowns of itall. And like Mark came in and
just like comforted me, and wedidn't even say anything, Like I didn't
(11:41):
feel the need to say anything,He didn't feel the need to like ask
me anything, because it was justone of those moments where you just like
needed to like get it out andmove on. Pause. And then I'll
say this because I think that's importantand it's important for me because that's something
(12:01):
that I wasn't I didn't always do, even as far as like even as
recent as earlier this year or thissummer. I mean because a few weeks
ago, Like true, Lali,that was the first time that without without
preparation, without conversation before or after, that you truly in a moment comforted
(12:22):
me without any explanation, like,that's the first time that to actually happened,
even though we've talked about it multipletimes of like as far as like
a if something happened and then wediscussed after like this could have gone better
this way or that way. Wehad had those conversations, but that was
the first time it actually came toaction. Yes, I'm saying for men
(12:46):
though, because we're wired to solvethe problem. We're wired to find the
solution and put the solution into action, and oftentimes that's my first goal to
so it takes work to pause andnot go there, to pause and think
about what does my wife need ina real way and have all the options
(13:11):
on the table, and then remember, oh, I don't have to always
have the answers. Sometimes I won'thave a response. God would just use
me to comfort her. So thatwas one of those moments that it was
like, Okay, if she didn't, you know, say anything or whatever,
she's pregnant, keeping that in mindas well, just go comfort and
(13:37):
like, yeah, I honestly didn'teven think of think of about that being
that day until you're telling the storynow, Wow. Yep, So that
was that day. Around six orseven pm, I was texting my midwife
and we were talking about something else, and then I just added on,
(13:58):
like, hey, I actually beenhaving contractions today. And I noticed at
that point that they had kind oflike been going on all day, maybe
one or two here, and they'renothing steady. So I didn't even notice
it until I was texting. Iwas like, oh, it's almost seven
o'clock, Like, I've been havinglow key contractions all day. Usually they
(14:20):
kind of doll out, you know, in the morning or in the afternoon
or whatever, but they had kindof come back, come back and forth
at that point. So she waslike, Okay, well, you know,
at this point, she's in Oklahoma, which is about a four and
a half hour drive from where welive. Again, I'm at like thirty
eight on the brink of thirty nineweeks on this day, so you know,
(14:46):
we're not thinking about it as faras like we may go into labor
today. Now, we did havea berthapool artist. Yes, we did
have that second that like because wehad a scare like a couple of weeks
prior. Yeah, And I waslike, you know what, let's blow
it up because in my mind,first off, I'm like I've never used
one or experienced one. Yeah,So like I don't even know how this
(15:07):
is gonna work, because how we'regonna put water in it without breaking a
hose in Like, so I'm like, okay, let's we somewhat prepared even
at that, because we still didn'tlike actually test it fully, if that
makes sense. So I was like, okay, we're to make sure there
were just someone unpare. Yeah.So we had the birthpool really blown up
in the middle of our living roomfor like two weeks, and we just
(15:30):
kind of got accustomed to it piningin our living room at that point.
And so I got in the bathtubbecause that's what Terrese said to do,
was just to like calm my bodydown, um and just kind of like
relax a little bit. Okay,So I am thirty and I meets right
now, I'm gonna try to talkwith you guys because I think I'm in
(15:52):
labor at texting my midwife. Sheis not even in town right now,
which is like a little bit.Flottle got my anxiety up, and then
um, obviously I'm wanted to staywant him to stay in for a little
while longer. So she said,want to bag, take some bena drill
(16:15):
or m drink some wine to justlike slow things down a little bit.
So I'm about to take a bag. That's the water running right now,
so that we can kind of slowthis down a little bit. Um.
Yeah, so we'll see, butI just wanted to do a little check
in. Well, I'm thinking aboutit because if something does happen, then
(16:37):
we ain't we ain't gonna have nofootage, no nothing of this, and
we'll be by herself. So yeah, let me go. So I actually
at that point cut my camera onbecause I was like, I don't know
if this is labor. I wantto have some footage because it just I
had this thing my entire pregnancy.I had multiple dreams about this, about
(17:03):
literally having a super super fast laborone, having my midwife not be here,
whether it be it happened so fastthat I forgot to call her,
or it happened so fast that Ididn't get a chance to call her,
multiple dreams that was the scenario.She was never there for my birth.
(17:25):
And then three that it was alwaysjust me and Mark giving birth to this
baby and me not like me beingshocked about it, like wait what?
And so those three things had poppedup for me my entire pregnancy. So
when I cut the camera on,I was like, okay, just in
(17:45):
case is that Sarridan Micah got intotub, even had Micah and side the
tub with me at that point becausewe were chilling. I had a glass
of wine and chilling clat out.She's said on this third very like that
chill, because it was chill atthat point. You called me in the
(18:08):
room. He was like, Mark, Mark, I'm like I was in
the kitchen. I'm like yeah,peeped my head in the door, and
you're like out of bed, bentover, breathing hard. I'm like web
and you're like, run me back, run me back. I'm like okay,
okay. And then you tell methat contractions are started and the slowed
them down because there's out of townand she won't be here tonight. Let's
(18:33):
try to get the contractions. Rememberthat intense, but again, like this
is how it worked your memory whenyou're in birth. Because I at this
point I don't remember being freaked out, and I don't think it was necessarily
freaked out. Maybe you were.Contractions were were, I guess like picking
up. I also didn't want tobelieve that I was going into labor because
(18:56):
it's going to be here, andI just was like fight that truth,
that potential truth that I could begoing into labor. So yeah, so
I get to the tub and things. Honestly did like chill out for a
couple hours. Tub, We said, we I put the kids to sleep.
I came out and you were likesitting down and you were just like
you looked like you were feeling better. Yeah. I felt normal, honestly,
(19:21):
like I felt normal. Where areyou going? What do you want?
You want to go play with yourtoys? Oh? Go ahead.
So yeah, we got the winepopping. She's calm now and having a
conversation about like not even about likehaving a baby tonight, but just talking
like there was a regular night.We called Teri finally, but we're letting
(19:45):
her know like how things are going. We're pretty sure that she's not gonna
be able to be here tonight.So yeah, we're just not feeling well.
Yeah, she's like six sick yeah, like food poisoning, sick.
Yeah, so she's in Tulsa factorshere that we're in hibiting her presence,
which you know could have been againone of those moments where you like start
(20:06):
freaking out, but we were socalm, and part of that was not.
No, I was not freaking out. You thought you Okay, so
it's clear that you thought that Iwas more scared or more freaking out in
these moments than I really was.I genuinely did not feel that way.
Was I worried about not having herhere? Yes? Did I prefer the
(20:32):
idea that, like I didn't gointo labor that night without her there?
Yes, But I was not freakingout at any point. That's genuinely not
how I felt. Was I worried, Yes, but I wouldn't call it
freaking out because in my mind,I was really trying not to go there,
like mentally, Okay, how didthe conversasion go with three? So
(20:56):
we got on the phone, andI had gotten on the phone with her
because you know, we were relaxed, but things kind of started picking back
up again, Like I started feelingthe contractions weren't regular, but they were
just getting more intense and I'm sitting, you know, in my bed and
kind of being like okay, likethings are kind of calling me down.
(21:19):
Now. Maybe this is not happeningtonight, but it could still happen.
And you know, she was justreally you know, mentally prepping me,
and we were just kind of talkingabout, you know, the conversations we
had our entire prenatal care. Like, our prenatal visits were never like quick,
(21:41):
okay, like she really became oursister. Me and her got very
close and comfortable with one another.Our visits were like, oh, it's
a minimum of two hours. Likewe just talked about everything and talked about
you know, our faith specifically andjust like spiritually navigating this pregnancy and just
life and things and motherhood and somuch. And so we really you know,
(22:03):
tapped back into those conversations of justlike, hey, you know,
we've shared this and that about whatwe thought was going to happen and how
we would respond in different situations,and this is one of those situations that
maybe it wasn't you know, somethingthat we thought would happen for sure,
but we've also talked about, youknow, this could happen very well,
(22:26):
could happen, and my dreams weresaying that it was going to happen,
and her dreams also were saying thatit was going to happen this way.
And so it was more of alike confirmation of like what God had already
kind of been planting in both ofus about this birth, because we were
both not shocked that like there couldbe a reality where it was just me
(22:49):
and Mark at this birth. Andso, you know, we're having conversations
and we're praying together, and she'sreally speaking over me and praying over me
and helping me kind of put thatworry aside that I was having about her
not being there, because at thatpoint, that was all I was really
worried about. I wasn't worried about, you know, giving birth by ourselves.
I wasn't worried about, you know, was the baby. Okay,
(23:12):
None of those fears manifested in meat all. It was more so that
like, this birth experience wasn't goingto go the way that I desired as
far as to read being here,and that that was incredible to me because
Oliver heard the conversation the prayer specifically, and it was so Nope, I
was just like, okay, loveto read like this is great. I
(23:36):
can tell that like Jay don't wantto have his baby tonight, But at
the same time, to read ata comfort level that was like, if
it happens, we're finding it evenwith her not physically being here. Like
so I ended up coming in theroom after I heard them praying. I'm
like, let me give them themoment. I come in the room afterwards
(23:59):
and just like let you or like, hey, no matter what happens,
you're prepared. Yeah, God's gotus. Clearly God knew this before we
did. So if we are ina position to where MJ's coming tonight,
I'm riddy. Yeah, I'm notanxious, I'm not stress. Like that
helps me too, Like you comingin and saying that, because like I,
(24:22):
you know, just knowing that youwere going to be calm and supportive.
I mean, obviously I know thesethings about you, but like I
needed to hear it affirmed in thatmoment, and you definitely felt led to
say that, and because I wasn'texpecting it, but it helped me,
you know, further feel like,Okay, I'm comfortable, I'm safe.
(24:44):
We can do this no matter whathappens. God's got us, and it
just yeah. It affirmed that securityin me that I knew I needed in
that moment. God knew I neededin that moment, even though I didn't
necessarily know I needed that specifically inthat moment. Ye. So yeah,
so you walk out, I'm chilling. Um, Mica is behind the camera,
(25:10):
SLF y'all, don't mind him andhis you know, Todd. They're
talking in the back. But thecontractions at that point got started getting intense.
Like you had come in after puttingthe kids to bed, and we're
literally sitting in the bed chatting likeany night, about to go to sleep
(25:30):
or relax after a long day,and Mica Micauld come here, come here,
come here. Things are getting Ihave like one bit of intense contraction,
like as well, because I hadjust actually finally like sat down.
So I'm like, okay, kidssleep, I'm about to find this rest.
(25:55):
Like her contractions they've subsided, solike we're good. I just cooked
chicken pot potter the night, soI was like, oh, good,
good, right, regular night.And I looked to my right and I
could tell that she's had like atense contraction. And after that, I
was like, maybe I'm gonna gomake sure there's a good amount of air
(26:18):
in this pool. I'm putting itin the pool. The Holy Spirit says,
put water in the pool. Mindyou, I haven't tried to put
water in this pool yet, soI didn't realize there was like a hole
they're going to fosset. I hadto do that and take the fosset off,
put the holes in, and thenstart the water. And so I'm
doing that as it's about halfway full. You come out the room and you're
(26:41):
like, are ready to get intowater? Somebody a right, which I
didn't even know. He was feelingthe pool up. So I thank god
you thought to do that, becauseit progressed, Like I had that really
intense contraction when you were in thebed too, and when you left,
they just kept coming. And that'swhen I actually realized, like, oh,
(27:03):
I really like I'm in labor.Like this got leveled up real quick,
and I couldn't have like predicted that, because it went from like level
maybe four or five to like sevento eight in a matter of like ten
minutes, like and they started gettingmore, you know, more intense quicker.
(27:27):
And so I texted to Read andwe or we got on the phone
and she was like, do youwant to wait another thirty minutes and like
time these out? Or do youwant me to send my backup midwife?
And so I was like, youknow what, I feel bad because if
I don't have this baby tonight,I don't want somebody to come all the
way to our house and you know, for nothing. She was like,
(27:49):
day, this is what we do. So it's fine. You're such a
mom, like, let if youwant, let's just overcome. And you
know, if you don't have ababy, don't have a baby, but
if you do, it'd be agreat thing that she's there. So I
was like okay. So she says, you know, it'll be about forty
minutes between now and when she canget to your house, and I was
(28:11):
like all right. So we getoff the phone and then I was like
okay, this is getting intense andI like stripped down, like and forty
minutes. Was was eleven thirty five. I remember this time more than I
remember his birthday. It was eleventhirty five when she said that the midwife
(28:33):
would actually arrive. So I'm like, okay, man, Lember thirty five,
so as long as this baby don'tWhen Jay came out the room,
now I have a fireplace going awayat a worship mushire plane and then my
mom, I'm Mike. Okay,she came up with the room. She
said she's ready to get in thepool. But she was in the water
with Mica hours before she actually gavebirth to him. So I'm like,
(28:57):
okay, yeah, yeah, Iwas in the water place. You don't
having this baby before them? Thirtyfive We're good. Yeah, I gotta
keep her comment to them. SoI'm gonna see in the water. I'm
getting water for her. I'm cheepingup and just time is passing and she's
probably in the water. For whatI mean. I got in the I
(29:18):
got into water, and I immediatelytold you put on my camera my phone
because you were like, should wecall Carmen? Oh yeah, And I
was like at this point no,because on top of everything, Carmen our
videographer, a photographer. She alreadyhad told me that this was the one
(29:41):
weekend that she wasn't going to beavailable because it was her daughter's birthday and
she had a backup, a backupphotographer ready. I would just need to
like obviously like hey, I reachedout, blah blah blah blah, blah,
and in that moment, I justknew. I was like, there's
not gonna be time. And Ialso like, don't even know. I
(30:02):
never even looked at the other photographerswork. I didn't even and I was
like, no, what, Idon't even care. I'm like literally contracting.
So that's how that happened. LikeI was like, just cut,
put my phone up, and let'sjust do that. So at that point,
that's the only way I even havean understanding of how quick this entire
thing happened, because we cut thatcamera one twenty minutes in she goes I
(30:30):
think I ready to push, andI'm like, oh, shoot, let
me wash my hands. Where Iwas sitting, I could tend to her,
but I could also see the clockon my oven, so I'm looking.
I'm like, okay, every thirtyfive, every thirty five, put
my hands down there. She's likepushing, pushing, like pushing, because
a couple of minutes before this,I legit felt my water break, and
(30:55):
with my other two pregnancies, Ididn't have like that, like, oh
my water broke, let's go tothe hospital or burst at a moment first
arrive my water broke. After Ihad the epidural. I just felt the
pop and the release, but Ididn't feel anything else, and so I
didn't really have that experience. Andthen with Mica, my water didn't break
until I literally pushed him out.My water broke and he came out at
(31:18):
the same time. So a lotof people actually don't have that like you
know movie scene where like there's agush of water on the floor and then
you know to go to the hospital. That's actually not as common as we
think it is. So for me, it didn't happen with either of my
pregnancies before. So when I wasin the tub, and I'm just kind
(31:40):
of like coaching myself mentally of justlike you know, I was speaking like
affirming just phrases over myself of justbeing like I'm strong enough for this,
I can do this, like reallysubmitting and relinquishing my control to my body
and having that like physical and spiritualconnection of like whatever he wants to do,
(32:00):
I'm allowing it to do. Sowhen I felt my water break,
I was like, oh my gosh, Okay, that's a real water breaking
moment. And then I immediately feltlike my body opening up like I could
only like be in like a squattingposition, holding over, holding onto the
(32:21):
edge of the pool, because thatwas like just innately how my body wanted
to position itself. So I wasalways in this like squatting kind of like
you know, on my knees kindof position to where gravity was helping MJ
come down, and so I feltthat happening. I just knew that it
was time, like it was happening, and so I told that's when I
(32:44):
said, you know, hey,like I'm ready to push. I'm like,
oh, the head. I canfeel the head, like, let's
go, like keep going, butthey're like you got pushed again. Heads
out, and I'll see the CORERDwrapped around his neck. So I paused
in that moment and like calmly andgently removed it from around his neck,
(33:05):
told her to keep pushing, andsure enough, I'm like, what just
have been? I caught him thirtythree and so at that moment I gave
him to her. I'm shocked,okay, because I can't believe that,
like this baby is actually outside ofmy body and in my arms because of
(33:29):
just how yes it was painful,Yes, it was like you know,
mind blowing experience, as every birthis. But I just couldn't believe how
my body, how efficient it allwas, because I don't remember being able
to feel the transitions of my laborthat intensely with even with Mica being unmedicated
(33:54):
and having a water birth before.So like this time being my third.
So you helped me step out ofthe tub, walk, Well, I
got a room, Well, Igot a rented the room. Um,
put some towels on the bed,came back in. I helped you out
the out the pool, um myholding baby boy, y'all down and rat.
(34:17):
At that moment, two things happen. Microwakes help, Yeah, which
mind you mic ins. Their bedroomsare right here, so they didn't wake
up at all. And when wewhen I got up, and you know,
I went and laid in the badand the bed, and then you
cut off the camera. I lookedat it after and it had only been
(34:40):
camera had only been on for fourteenminutes. Like that whole thing happened in
fourteen minutes of like active labor,really and yeah, three minutes of pushing
and three minute I mean, itwas just insane. Um if that,
yeah, I mean I could probablygo back and look at it and we'll
try to put some clips of ithere, but like truly, it's super
(35:05):
dark. The footage is so likeyeah, I mean it was literally like
that's all we had time to do, like literally like it was like we
were so like focused in Obviously,giving birth is way more important than trying
to worry about a camera's light andall that kind of stuff. So we
were even yes, because we actuallycare about these things. Yeah. But
(35:27):
it wakes up, Yeah, andthere's a knock on the door and everybody
five midwife yep. So I go, I'll opened the door for her,
and I'm like, he's here therein the room, in the bed,
and I walked up to the bedyeah, and it was just oh,
I was so glad when she walkedin because that's exactly when I felt like,
(35:51):
Okay, I knew I could pushthe baby out by myself. I
needed help getting the placenta out.I needed help with like just like everything
after, because that was the stuffthat I knew, like, I need
a midlife here to like help makesure that like my I'm not you know,
I'm not bleeding too much, thathe's good, weighing him, making
(36:13):
sure he's breathing right, making surehe's got all his fingers, his toes,
making sure of all of those things, because that's what you really do
need support for when you're giving birth, is like you know that person who
has all of that knowledge and wisdomas far as like making sure mom is
okay and baby is okay after you'veyou know, given birth. So she
came right on time in that aspectbecause I was good. I knew I
(36:38):
could was capable of pushing him out. It was all the extra stuff after
that I knew we would need helpwith. And so she was super sweet.
Mind you, I'd never met thiswoman before, but I knew,
you know, if to Yeah,she was recommending and had her as her
second. And I want to saythat either or she's birth helped birth one
(37:02):
of Ter's babies or they've been Iknow for sure they've been on multiple verse
together and she Ter has would trusther with her own babies. Um,
so that was also helped me justknow like, Okay, I trust Terse,
so I trust this midwife as well. And she was incredible, Like
she was super cental, super youknow, calm um and just great.
(37:24):
I feel like at this point rightin that process especially but at this point
in our lives, like God's favoris so on us from the lifestyle,
and we decide to live that.Like, even something like that, I'm
like, even something like that,I'm like, if God, if this
(37:50):
is the way God wanted that togo, I still don't have to worry.
Yeah, I still don't have toworry about Yeah, I know that
person God, that person. Yeah. So yeah, Like there were moments
throughout the night, like now thatI think about it, where we could
have questioned the situation, which wouldhave been questioning God. Yeah, and
(38:16):
we did it. We trusted him. Yeah, and I'm glad that we
did because the experience was exactly whatit was supposed to be, better than
we could have ever planned it.Like, there's great, She's incredible.
But even in like she shared outforwards that she had a dream as well,
that she wasn't going to be presidentand that like God wanted us to
(38:38):
have this moment right, And thatwas great too, because I know,
like sometimes, especially when this isyour job, you can feel so invested
that not even with bad intentions,but like I want to be there.
And she never made it about thatshe wanted us to have the best experience
(38:59):
for this and knew that at theend of the day, God's will was
going to be done. So youknow, again, like when we were
talking about it on the phone,um and praying about it and stuff,
you know, she just reminded methat like, no matter what, God's
will is being done, and youknow, He kind of in ways already
prepped us for this, for thisexact moment. He already put it on
(39:22):
our hearts and in our lives thatlike, you know, it's a possibility
that it could just be me andMark and also you know, to have
another like life you know, lifechanging experience with just us together, babe.
Like it's just like at this point, you know, we've literally brought
(39:43):
life into the world together us differentways, and I'm all leading to just
us literally just us and it havingzero issues even with his cord being wrapped
around his neck, like fear neverhad the opportunity to exist, Like it
literally never manifested itself because we wereso wrapped up in God's grace and his
(40:10):
security. Even when we may havefelt worried or or you know, unsure
or shocked or whatever through the entireprocess, it was just we knew that
there was a security surrounding us thatlike There was never a moment where we
were like something bad could happen,like that neverthing that core thing or tried
(40:32):
to creep in. It was justso quick and immediately I just felt a
calmness that was like just moving evenwhen you said it faith, like I
wasn't worried, like not even inthat moment, and I'm pushing him out,
like I just felt like we weregood and it was gonna be okay,
(40:58):
Like I was just focused on themission in that hand, which was
getting this baby out safely into theworld and completing that part of the journey.
And we did it. We didit just like this video. We
did it with Mica is running aroundhand yes, running around, yea.
They trying And our placenta isn't ourdeep freezer right now? Oh god.
(41:22):
Well, because I didn't really knowwhat I wanted to do with it.
With Mica, I actually encapsulated myplacenta with him to actually take them for
postpartum recovery. I ended up noteven taking them, which was on me.
So this time, you know,I just wanted to stick into the
freezer and if anything, we willyou know, do something with it,
(41:45):
or we'll get rid of it.On its own. But we're doing great.
Um. I felt like this wasmy best postpartum recovery journey so far.
We are almost three weeks out ofhim being born and he's doing great.
Um. He had a little bitof genes when he was first born,
but we didn't need to do anythingother than take him outside and let
(42:07):
us get some good vitamin D fromthe sun for you know, about a
little less than an hour, maybeit's twenty thirty minutes each day that first
week and a half or so,and he, you know, got all
that jaundice out, so no issuesthere. He's been nursing. We've been
exclusively breastfeeding. I'm pumping also tokind of create my stash. But I've
(42:28):
also been sharing online just some likepostpart of care and recovery things. That's
the birth story way, love y'all. Thanks for watching. Got us faithful
y'all, Yes, Mark and Ihope you enjoy today's episode. It's truly
(42:50):
a pleasure to be a part ofyour day. Keep up with us on
social media, but also feel freeto email us at team at the guidboatlife
dot com if you got any purquests or questions that we can answer.
Until next time. Chat soon Bye,
What's good, y'all. It's Markand Jade, God both here. We're
just a couple of millennials who metat the peak of our careers as a
beauty influencer and a corporate cool kidwho decided that life wasn't enough without God.
Our platform and this show are allabout how our journey to healing and
how following after Jesus really changed usand our marriage forever. We aren't your
(00:24):
traditional churchgoers, and we appreciate thatabout ourselves. Through our testimonies, we
hope that you find relief, comfort, revelation, and most importantly, the
spirit of God. Let's get intothis episode. Okay, So I am
thirty. I means right now I'mgonna try and talk about me fast because
(00:44):
I think I'm in labored Like,wait, what he's here, m J
is here? Really this video we'resupposed to talk about that experience. Honestly,
we had a totally different plan forwhat this was going to be,
how we're gonna tell this birth storybecause with Micah we had such an incredible
(01:04):
documentation of that birth and that wasthe plan this time. But you know,
God's plan in our plan didn't reallyline up. But it happened the
way God intended. So we'll throwout our plan for his any day,
anytime, and I'll at this likeit's dope that not even realizing that we
(01:26):
moved around different spaces in our livingroom to like figure out the best way
to like share this my lifty standpointand not wanting to have too much actual
equipment. And then sure enough weare literally like they have the view as
if they were here when m German, Yeah, oh yeah, that is
(01:46):
that. We did not plan that, but this is literally the location of
where he was born, right herein our living room, in this spot,
exactly where I am exactly. Yes, our plan initially was to have
a homewater birth with our midwife,Tari And if you all have been tapped
(02:10):
in on my YouTube channel, youwould know that I actually have a whole
pregnancy series called My Pregnancy Diary,where I've been documenting my entire pregnancy with
him and essentially I for the lastthree four months, I've been putting out
weekly episodes, and so I wassharing a lot of kind of how we
(02:32):
came to the idea of how wewere going to do this birth and everything,
and show you what our process waslike This time with Tari and doing
all of our prenatal experience and birthhere at home. And so this video
is actually going to be the lastvideo of that series as well as Yeah,
(02:55):
because like y'all, I ain't beenon that we're here, uh at
least in the beginning when we wentto gentle beginning. You're in it.
Okay, okay, that one.Yeah, yeah, but I've been watching
some of the recent ones my diary. You ain't putting notes in my diary,
(03:15):
it's from my pov even that you'vebeen so um, Like Ninja asked
what these videos too, I'm like, where does she? I'm watching something
of them. I'm like, whereis she? Where does she find the
time to like slip off and andand do this? And well that's the
point. You know, A diaryis something that you could, like you
(03:39):
write in your diary and privacy trueand in your own kind of like you
know moment. So that's how Itreated the series, was like I would
sneak off into the bathroom, Iwould go be in huh pat the patio
like in the backyard, like Iwould kind of do it in these moments
(04:00):
where I could just talk and kindof get out whatever was you know,
all my heart at the time,and that's how you know, I think
most of us, if you everwrote in a diary journaled like, that's
how you approached it. So thatis very much so how the series is
recorded and created. And so yeah, this is going to be the last
(04:23):
official video of the series because initiallythe plan was that our birth video would
be the last kind of climactic endingto the pregnancy series, but this is
now the climactic climactic ending of thepregnancy series because this is us telling and
(04:43):
sharing that story in this way versusin the way we originally planned, which
was working with our photographer and videographerCarmen Bridgewater again, who produced and created
the video of Micah's birth that wasso beautiful and has almost three million views
on YouTube, which is just insane. It's actually now my most viewed video
(05:04):
on my channel of being a creatorfor over ten years and I have like
over five hundred videos on my channel, and that video is now my most
viewed video in history. So kudosto God for creating that opportunity because that's
crazy but incredible. So yeah,we're talking about our plans too, So
(05:28):
our plan, our plan was to, yeah, I have a homewater birth,
and we had that plan. Itjust didn't necessarily go according to the
details of our version of the planbecause it went a lot differently than what
we anticipated. There was nothing,I don't want to say, there's nothing
like special the day, but itwas. It was a regular day.
(05:53):
It was a regular day. It'skind of crazy because you know, thinking
about the moments that we consider likebig moments, not even just us,
but like you know, we alwaystry to when I try to, but
it always comes up, Baba alwayscomes up. Right, So you think
about like the day that Moses seesGod in the burning bush. It was
(06:16):
a regular day. It wasn't likea, oh, today's something great,
it's gla to happen. Gone,let me make sure that I spend ten
extra minutes of the shower that maybebrush my teeth, actually two minutes now,
like spending some more time with goutto that. Like, it was
a very like regular day. Yeah. And honestly from my POV, like,
(06:43):
there's been moments throughout this entire pregnancythat I had to remind myself to
remind myself that you were pregnant.And I say that from a standpoint of
like me being cognizant of you beingcognizant. I keep I keep doing that.
(07:04):
But that's how it felt because whileyes, I know that you're pregnant
and all of that, because thisone has been so different, Yeah,
it's almost been like even even thepost and I'm sure we'll talk about this
later, but like even the post, it's continued to feel like, Okay,
like this is happening. She's actuallypregnant, like she had his baby.
(07:28):
So even though she's in a better, you know position, she's feeling
better, she has more energy thanshe's had. Yes, she had a
few labor I don't know if youcall them labor stairs what they want to
call him, but like, yeah, some pre term false labor moment,
but like you have so many ofthose in the past that it was like,
(07:53):
well, she had these for threeweeks last time before that happened.
Yeah, so still it's just aregular right, Yeah, And that's why
I felt that day. It wasI had, you know, been having
Braxton Hicks contractions every day for thelast couple of days, okay, and
that day they started as usual,kind of a few back to back,
(08:18):
but nothing, you know, crazy, I had been kind of just like
the previous few days just feeling um, you know, not necessarily like my
body was telling me that we weregetting closer to you know, game time,
but I definitely felt like I wasmentally and spiritually just holding back my
(08:39):
anxiety about you know, getting readyfor the birth, like not going into
like this obsession of like asking myselfevery day, it's today the day,
it's today the day, and hereyou know, on the podcast we kind
of shared that literally in the lastepisode, but before we actually went and
had him it gave birth to him. Was me expressing just like how I
(09:03):
was handling just being present and notbeing so caught up in just like the
anxiety of it all, because youknow, you wait your entire pregnancy for
birth, so it's like the closeryou get to it, and especially when
you're getting towards the end of thethird trimester, and it's really like the
baby could come at thirty eight weeks, thirty nine weeks, forty weeks,
(09:24):
forty one weeks, like you know, Sarai came naturally at thirty eight ish
weeks, and Micah came at fortyone weeks, almost like exactly forty one
weeks to day, and so thatwas such a drastic difference for me obviously
giving birth to Sara in a hospital, getting an epidural, and then giving
(09:45):
birth to Micah in a you know, birth center, no medication and in
water, and so those experiences wereso different. And so really with this
third baby, not knowing what toexpect, and you know, people say,
your third baby goes, you know, you give birth faster, you
know you probably are gonna go longer, and all these things. So I'm
(10:09):
just like, I don't know whatto expect, So managing my expectations there
was huge. But you know,I barely was thirty eight to thirty nine
weeks when he came, so I'mthinking, oh, he's going to go
longer like Mica did because he waskind of measuring the same way throughout the
(10:31):
pregnancy as far as like being youknow, just you know, I would
just assume that he was going tocome later versus earlier. But I will
say now looking back at that day, I was like weepy, Like I
had a moment like mid day whereI did get like very emotional, and
I didn't even really express it toMark because I thought I was just like
(10:54):
having a moment, a real pregnancymoment, where I just was like very
entired of being pregnant. And thatwas the first and only time I truly
felt like that this pregnancy. AndI thought it was because I had done
such a great job of managing myemotions the whole time, that I had
really kept that feeling at bay byjust like being like spiritually tapped in,
(11:20):
you know, being mindful of likewhere I was hormonally and things like that.
And so like that day, Ijust like started crying in our room
and I was just like upset becauseI was still pregnant and just kind of
like in all the unknowns of itall. And like Mark came in and
just like comforted me, and wedidn't even say anything, Like I didn't
(11:41):
feel the need to say anything,He didn't feel the need to like ask
me anything, because it was justone of those moments where you just like
needed to like get it out andmove on. Pause. And then I'll
say this because I think that's importantand it's important for me because that's something
(12:01):
that I wasn't I didn't always do, even as far as like even as
recent as earlier this year or thissummer. I mean because a few weeks
ago, Like true, Lali,that was the first time that without without
preparation, without conversation before or after, that you truly in a moment comforted
(12:22):
me without any explanation, like,that's the first time that to actually happened,
even though we've talked about it multipletimes of like as far as like
a if something happened and then wediscussed after like this could have gone better
this way or that way. Wehad had those conversations, but that was
the first time it actually came toaction. Yes, I'm saying for men
(12:46):
though, because we're wired to solvethe problem. We're wired to find the
solution and put the solution into action, and oftentimes that's my first goal to
so it takes work to pause andnot go there, to pause and think
about what does my wife need ina real way and have all the options
(13:11):
on the table, and then remember, oh, I don't have to always
have the answers. Sometimes I won'thave a response. God would just use
me to comfort her. So thatwas one of those moments that it was
like, Okay, if she didn't, you know, say anything or whatever,
she's pregnant, keeping that in mindas well, just go comfort and
(13:37):
like, yeah, I honestly didn'teven think of think of about that being
that day until you're telling the storynow, Wow. Yep, So that
was that day. Around six orseven pm, I was texting my midwife
and we were talking about something else, and then I just added on,
(13:58):
like, hey, I actually beenhaving contractions today. And I noticed at
that point that they had kind oflike been going on all day, maybe
one or two here, and they'renothing steady. So I didn't even notice
it until I was texting. Iwas like, oh, it's almost seven
o'clock, Like, I've been havinglow key contractions all day. Usually they
(14:20):
kind of doll out, you know, in the morning or in the afternoon
or whatever, but they had kindof come back, come back and forth
at that point. So she waslike, Okay, well, you know,
at this point, she's in Oklahoma, which is about a four and
a half hour drive from where welive. Again, I'm at like thirty
eight on the brink of thirty nineweeks on this day, so you know,
(14:46):
we're not thinking about it as faras like we may go into labor
today. Now, we did havea berthapool artist. Yes, we did
have that second that like because wehad a scare like a couple of weeks
prior. Yeah, And I waslike, you know what, let's blow
it up because in my mind,first off, I'm like I've never used
one or experienced one. Yeah,So like I don't even know how this
(15:07):
is gonna work, because how we'regonna put water in it without breaking a
hose in Like, so I'm like, okay, let's we somewhat prepared even
at that, because we still didn'tlike actually test it fully, if that
makes sense. So I was like, okay, we're to make sure there
were just someone unpare. Yeah.So we had the birthpool really blown up
in the middle of our living roomfor like two weeks, and we just
(15:30):
kind of got accustomed to it piningin our living room at that point.
And so I got in the bathtubbecause that's what Terrese said to do,
was just to like calm my bodydown, um and just kind of like
relax a little bit. Okay,So I am thirty and I meets right
now, I'm gonna try to talkwith you guys because I think I'm in
(15:52):
labor at texting my midwife. Sheis not even in town right now,
which is like a little bit.Flottle got my anxiety up, and then
um, obviously I'm wanted to staywant him to stay in for a little
while longer. So she said,want to bag, take some bena drill
(16:15):
or m drink some wine to justlike slow things down a little bit.
So I'm about to take a bag. That's the water running right now,
so that we can kind of slowthis down a little bit. Um.
Yeah, so we'll see, butI just wanted to do a little check
in. Well, I'm thinking aboutit because if something does happen, then
(16:37):
we ain't we ain't gonna have nofootage, no nothing of this, and
we'll be by herself. So yeah, let me go. So I actually
at that point cut my camera onbecause I was like, I don't know
if this is labor. I wantto have some footage because it just I
had this thing my entire pregnancy.I had multiple dreams about this, about
(17:03):
literally having a super super fast laborone, having my midwife not be here,
whether it be it happened so fastthat I forgot to call her,
or it happened so fast that Ididn't get a chance to call her,
multiple dreams that was the scenario.She was never there for my birth.
(17:25):
And then three that it was alwaysjust me and Mark giving birth to this
baby and me not like me beingshocked about it, like wait what?
And so those three things had poppedup for me my entire pregnancy. So
when I cut the camera on,I was like, okay, just in
(17:45):
case is that Sarridan Micah got intotub, even had Micah and side the
tub with me at that point becausewe were chilling. I had a glass
of wine and chilling clat out.She's said on this third very like that
chill, because it was chill atthat point. You called me in the
(18:08):
room. He was like, Mark, Mark, I'm like I was in
the kitchen. I'm like yeah,peeped my head in the door, and
you're like out of bed, bentover, breathing hard. I'm like web
and you're like, run me back, run me back. I'm like okay,
okay. And then you tell methat contractions are started and the slowed
them down because there's out of townand she won't be here tonight. Let's
(18:33):
try to get the contractions. Rememberthat intense, but again, like this
is how it worked your memory whenyou're in birth. Because I at this
point I don't remember being freaked out, and I don't think it was necessarily
freaked out. Maybe you were.Contractions were were, I guess like picking
up. I also didn't want tobelieve that I was going into labor because
(18:56):
it's going to be here, andI just was like fight that truth,
that potential truth that I could begoing into labor. So yeah, so
I get to the tub and things. Honestly did like chill out for a
couple hours. Tub, We said, we I put the kids to sleep.
I came out and you were likesitting down and you were just like
you looked like you were feeling better. Yeah. I felt normal, honestly,
(19:21):
like I felt normal. Where areyou going? What do you want?
You want to go play with yourtoys? Oh? Go ahead.
So yeah, we got the winepopping. She's calm now and having a
conversation about like not even about likehaving a baby tonight, but just talking
like there was a regular night.We called Teri finally, but we're letting
(19:45):
her know like how things are going. We're pretty sure that she's not gonna
be able to be here tonight.So yeah, we're just not feeling well.
Yeah, she's like six sick yeah, like food poisoning, sick.
Yeah, so she's in Tulsa factorshere that we're in hibiting her presence,
which you know could have been againone of those moments where you like start
(20:06):
freaking out, but we were socalm, and part of that was not.
No, I was not freaking out. You thought you Okay, so
it's clear that you thought that Iwas more scared or more freaking out in
these moments than I really was.I genuinely did not feel that way.
Was I worried about not having herhere? Yes? Did I prefer the
(20:32):
idea that, like I didn't gointo labor that night without her there?
Yes, But I was not freakingout at any point. That's genuinely not
how I felt. Was I worried, Yes, but I wouldn't call it
freaking out because in my mind,I was really trying not to go there,
like mentally, Okay, how didthe conversasion go with three? So
(20:56):
we got on the phone, andI had gotten on the phone with her
because you know, we were relaxed, but things kind of started picking back
up again, Like I started feelingthe contractions weren't regular, but they were
just getting more intense and I'm sitting, you know, in my bed and
kind of being like okay, likethings are kind of calling me down.
(21:19):
Now. Maybe this is not happeningtonight, but it could still happen.
And you know, she was justreally you know, mentally prepping me,
and we were just kind of talkingabout, you know, the conversations we
had our entire prenatal care. Like, our prenatal visits were never like quick,
(21:41):
okay, like she really became oursister. Me and her got very
close and comfortable with one another.Our visits were like, oh, it's
a minimum of two hours. Likewe just talked about everything and talked about
you know, our faith specifically andjust like spiritually navigating this pregnancy and just
life and things and motherhood and somuch. And so we really you know,
(22:03):
tapped back into those conversations of justlike, hey, you know,
we've shared this and that about whatwe thought was going to happen and how
we would respond in different situations,and this is one of those situations that
maybe it wasn't you know, somethingthat we thought would happen for sure,
but we've also talked about, youknow, this could happen very well,
(22:26):
could happen, and my dreams weresaying that it was going to happen,
and her dreams also were saying thatit was going to happen this way.
And so it was more of alike confirmation of like what God had already
kind of been planting in both ofus about this birth, because we were
both not shocked that like there couldbe a reality where it was just me
(22:49):
and Mark at this birth. Andso, you know, we're having conversations
and we're praying together, and she'sreally speaking over me and praying over me
and helping me kind of put thatworry aside that I was having about her
not being there, because at thatpoint, that was all I was really
worried about. I wasn't worried about, you know, giving birth by ourselves.
I wasn't worried about, you know, was the baby. Okay,
(23:12):
None of those fears manifested in meat all. It was more so that
like, this birth experience wasn't goingto go the way that I desired as
far as to read being here,and that that was incredible to me because
Oliver heard the conversation the prayer specifically, and it was so Nope, I
was just like, okay, loveto read like this is great. I
(23:36):
can tell that like Jay don't wantto have his baby tonight, But at
the same time, to read ata comfort level that was like, if
it happens, we're finding it evenwith her not physically being here. Like
so I ended up coming in theroom after I heard them praying. I'm
like, let me give them themoment. I come in the room afterwards
(23:59):
and just like let you or like, hey, no matter what happens,
you're prepared. Yeah, God's gotus. Clearly God knew this before we
did. So if we are ina position to where MJ's coming tonight,
I'm riddy. Yeah, I'm notanxious, I'm not stress. Like that
helps me too, Like you comingin and saying that, because like I,
(24:22):
you know, just knowing that youwere going to be calm and supportive.
I mean, obviously I know thesethings about you, but like I
needed to hear it affirmed in thatmoment, and you definitely felt led to
say that, and because I wasn'texpecting it, but it helped me,
you know, further feel like,Okay, I'm comfortable, I'm safe.
(24:44):
We can do this no matter whathappens. God's got us, and it
just yeah. It affirmed that securityin me that I knew I needed in
that moment. God knew I neededin that moment, even though I didn't
necessarily know I needed that specifically inthat moment. Ye. So yeah,
so you walk out, I'm chilling. Um, Mica is behind the camera,
(25:10):
SLF y'all, don't mind him andhis you know, Todd. They're
talking in the back. But thecontractions at that point got started getting intense.
Like you had come in after puttingthe kids to bed, and we're
literally sitting in the bed chatting likeany night, about to go to sleep
(25:30):
or relax after a long day,and Mica Micauld come here, come here,
come here. Things are getting Ihave like one bit of intense contraction,
like as well, because I hadjust actually finally like sat down.
So I'm like, okay, kidssleep, I'm about to find this rest.
(25:55):
Like her contractions they've subsided, solike we're good. I just cooked
chicken pot potter the night, soI was like, oh, good,
good, right, regular night.And I looked to my right and I
could tell that she's had like atense contraction. And after that, I
was like, maybe I'm gonna gomake sure there's a good amount of air
(26:18):
in this pool. I'm putting itin the pool. The Holy Spirit says,
put water in the pool. Mindyou, I haven't tried to put
water in this pool yet, soI didn't realize there was like a hole
they're going to fosset. I hadto do that and take the fosset off,
put the holes in, and thenstart the water. And so I'm
doing that as it's about halfway full. You come out the room and you're
(26:41):
like, are ready to get intowater? Somebody a right, which I
didn't even know. He was feelingthe pool up. So I thank god
you thought to do that, becauseit progressed, Like I had that really
intense contraction when you were in thebed too, and when you left,
they just kept coming. And that'swhen I actually realized, like, oh,
(27:03):
I really like I'm in labor.Like this got leveled up real quick,
and I couldn't have like predicted that, because it went from like level
maybe four or five to like sevento eight in a matter of like ten
minutes, like and they started gettingmore, you know, more intense quicker.
(27:27):
And so I texted to Read andwe or we got on the phone
and she was like, do youwant to wait another thirty minutes and like
time these out? Or do youwant me to send my backup midwife?
And so I was like, youknow what, I feel bad because if
I don't have this baby tonight,I don't want somebody to come all the
way to our house and you know, for nothing. She was like,
(27:49):
day, this is what we do. So it's fine. You're such a
mom, like, let if youwant, let's just overcome. And you
know, if you don't have ababy, don't have a baby, but
if you do, it'd be agreat thing that she's there. So I
was like okay. So she says, you know, it'll be about forty
minutes between now and when she canget to your house, and I was
(28:11):
like all right. So we getoff the phone and then I was like
okay, this is getting intense andI like stripped down, like and forty
minutes. Was was eleven thirty five. I remember this time more than I
remember his birthday. It was eleventhirty five when she said that the midwife
(28:33):
would actually arrive. So I'm like, okay, man, Lember thirty five,
so as long as this baby don'tWhen Jay came out the room,
now I have a fireplace going awayat a worship mushire plane and then my
mom, I'm Mike. Okay,she came up with the room. She
said she's ready to get in thepool. But she was in the water
with Mica hours before she actually gavebirth to him. So I'm like,
(28:57):
okay, yeah, yeah, Iwas in the water place. You don't
having this baby before them? Thirtyfive We're good. Yeah, I gotta
keep her comment to them. SoI'm gonna see in the water. I'm
getting water for her. I'm cheepingup and just time is passing and she's
probably in the water. For whatI mean. I got in the I
(29:18):
got into water, and I immediatelytold you put on my camera my phone
because you were like, should wecall Carmen? Oh yeah, And I
was like at this point no,because on top of everything, Carmen our
videographer, a photographer. She alreadyhad told me that this was the one
(29:41):
weekend that she wasn't going to beavailable because it was her daughter's birthday and
she had a backup, a backupphotographer ready. I would just need to
like obviously like hey, I reachedout, blah blah blah blah, blah,
and in that moment, I justknew. I was like, there's
not gonna be time. And Ialso like, don't even know. I
(30:02):
never even looked at the other photographerswork. I didn't even and I was
like, no, what, Idon't even care. I'm like literally contracting.
So that's how that happened. LikeI was like, just cut,
put my phone up, and let'sjust do that. So at that point,
that's the only way I even havean understanding of how quick this entire
thing happened, because we cut thatcamera one twenty minutes in she goes I
(30:30):
think I ready to push, andI'm like, oh, shoot, let
me wash my hands. Where Iwas sitting, I could tend to her,
but I could also see the clockon my oven, so I'm looking.
I'm like, okay, every thirtyfive, every thirty five, put
my hands down there. She's likepushing, pushing, like pushing, because
a couple of minutes before this,I legit felt my water break, and
(30:55):
with my other two pregnancies, Ididn't have like that, like, oh
my water broke, let's go tothe hospital or burst at a moment first
arrive my water broke. After Ihad the epidural. I just felt the
pop and the release, but Ididn't feel anything else, and so I
didn't really have that experience. Andthen with Mica, my water didn't break
until I literally pushed him out.My water broke and he came out at
(31:18):
the same time. So a lotof people actually don't have that like you
know movie scene where like there's agush of water on the floor and then
you know to go to the hospital. That's actually not as common as we
think it is. So for me, it didn't happen with either of my
pregnancies before. So when I wasin the tub, and I'm just kind
(31:40):
of like coaching myself mentally of justlike you know, I was speaking like
affirming just phrases over myself of justbeing like I'm strong enough for this,
I can do this, like reallysubmitting and relinquishing my control to my body
and having that like physical and spiritualconnection of like whatever he wants to do,
(32:00):
I'm allowing it to do. Sowhen I felt my water break,
I was like, oh my gosh, Okay, that's a real water breaking
moment. And then I immediately feltlike my body opening up like I could
only like be in like a squattingposition, holding over, holding onto the
(32:21):
edge of the pool, because thatwas like just innately how my body wanted
to position itself. So I wasalways in this like squatting kind of like
you know, on my knees kindof position to where gravity was helping MJ
come down, and so I feltthat happening. I just knew that it
was time, like it was happening, and so I told that's when I
(32:44):
said, you know, hey,like I'm ready to push. I'm like,
oh, the head. I canfeel the head, like, let's
go, like keep going, butthey're like you got pushed again. Heads
out, and I'll see the CORERDwrapped around his neck. So I paused
in that moment and like calmly andgently removed it from around his neck,
(33:05):
told her to keep pushing, andsure enough, I'm like, what just
have been? I caught him thirtythree and so at that moment I gave
him to her. I'm shocked,okay, because I can't believe that,
like this baby is actually outside ofmy body and in my arms because of
(33:29):
just how yes it was painful,Yes, it was like you know,
mind blowing experience, as every birthis. But I just couldn't believe how
my body, how efficient it allwas, because I don't remember being able
to feel the transitions of my laborthat intensely with even with Mica being unmedicated
(33:54):
and having a water birth before.So like this time being my third.
So you helped me step out ofthe tub, walk, Well, I
got a room, Well, Igot a rented the room. Um,
put some towels on the bed,came back in. I helped you out
the out the pool, um myholding baby boy, y'all down and rat.
(34:17):
At that moment, two things happen. Microwakes help, Yeah, which
mind you mic ins. Their bedroomsare right here, so they didn't wake
up at all. And when wewhen I got up, and you know,
I went and laid in the badand the bed, and then you
cut off the camera. I lookedat it after and it had only been
(34:40):
camera had only been on for fourteenminutes. Like that whole thing happened in
fourteen minutes of like active labor,really and yeah, three minutes of pushing
and three minute I mean, itwas just insane. Um if that,
yeah, I mean I could probablygo back and look at it and we'll
try to put some clips of ithere, but like truly, it's super
(35:05):
dark. The footage is so likeyeah, I mean it was literally like
that's all we had time to do, like literally like it was like we
were so like focused in Obviously,giving birth is way more important than trying
to worry about a camera's light andall that kind of stuff. So we
were even yes, because we actuallycare about these things. Yeah. But
(35:27):
it wakes up, Yeah, andthere's a knock on the door and everybody
five midwife yep. So I go, I'll opened the door for her,
and I'm like, he's here therein the room, in the bed,
and I walked up to the bedyeah, and it was just oh,
I was so glad when she walkedin because that's exactly when I felt like,
(35:51):
Okay, I knew I could pushthe baby out by myself. I
needed help getting the placenta out.I needed help with like just like everything
after, because that was the stuffthat I knew, like, I need
a midlife here to like help makesure that like my I'm not you know,
I'm not bleeding too much, thathe's good, weighing him, making
(36:13):
sure he's breathing right, making surehe's got all his fingers, his toes,
making sure of all of those things, because that's what you really do
need support for when you're giving birth, is like you know that person who
has all of that knowledge and wisdomas far as like making sure mom is
okay and baby is okay after you'veyou know, given birth. So she
came right on time in that aspectbecause I was good. I knew I
(36:38):
could was capable of pushing him out. It was all the extra stuff after
that I knew we would need helpwith. And so she was super sweet.
Mind you, I'd never met thiswoman before, but I knew,
you know, if to Yeah,she was recommending and had her as her
second. And I want to saythat either or she's birth helped birth one
(37:02):
of Ter's babies or they've been Iknow for sure they've been on multiple verse
together and she Ter has would trusther with her own babies. Um,
so that was also helped me justknow like, Okay, I trust Terse,
so I trust this midwife as well. And she was incredible, Like
she was super cental, super youknow, calm um and just great.
(37:24):
I feel like at this point rightin that process especially but at this point
in our lives, like God's favoris so on us from the lifestyle,
and we decide to live that.Like, even something like that, I'm
like, even something like that,I'm like, if God, if this
(37:50):
is the way God wanted that togo, I still don't have to worry.
Yeah, I still don't have toworry about Yeah, I know that
person God, that person. Yeah. So yeah, Like there were moments
throughout the night, like now thatI think about it, where we could
have questioned the situation, which wouldhave been questioning God. Yeah, and
(38:16):
we did it. We trusted him. Yeah, and I'm glad that we
did because the experience was exactly whatit was supposed to be, better than
we could have ever planned it.Like, there's great, She's incredible.
But even in like she shared outforwards that she had a dream as well,
that she wasn't going to be presidentand that like God wanted us to
(38:38):
have this moment right, And thatwas great too, because I know,
like sometimes, especially when this isyour job, you can feel so invested
that not even with bad intentions,but like I want to be there.
And she never made it about thatshe wanted us to have the best experience
(38:59):
for this and knew that at theend of the day, God's will was
going to be done. So youknow, again, like when we were
talking about it on the phone,um and praying about it and stuff,
you know, she just reminded methat like, no matter what, God's
will is being done, and youknow, He kind of in ways already
prepped us for this, for thisexact moment. He already put it on
(39:22):
our hearts and in our lives thatlike, you know, it's a possibility
that it could just be me andMark and also you know, to have
another like life you know, lifechanging experience with just us together, babe.
Like it's just like at this point, you know, we've literally brought
(39:43):
life into the world together us differentways, and I'm all leading to just
us literally just us and it havingzero issues even with his cord being wrapped
around his neck, like fear neverhad the opportunity to exist, Like it
literally never manifested itself because we wereso wrapped up in God's grace and his
(40:10):
security. Even when we may havefelt worried or or you know, unsure
or shocked or whatever through the entireprocess, it was just we knew that
there was a security surrounding us thatlike There was never a moment where we
were like something bad could happen,like that neverthing that core thing or tried
(40:32):
to creep in. It was justso quick and immediately I just felt a
calmness that was like just moving evenwhen you said it faith, like I
wasn't worried, like not even inthat moment, and I'm pushing him out,
like I just felt like we weregood and it was gonna be okay,
(40:58):
Like I was just focused on themission in that hand, which was
getting this baby out safely into theworld and completing that part of the journey.
And we did it. We didit just like this video. We
did it with Mica is running aroundhand yes, running around, yea.
They trying And our placenta isn't ourdeep freezer right now? Oh god.
(41:22):
Well, because I didn't really knowwhat I wanted to do with it.
With Mica, I actually encapsulated myplacenta with him to actually take them for
postpartum recovery. I ended up noteven taking them, which was on me.
So this time, you know,I just wanted to stick into the
freezer and if anything, we willyou know, do something with it,
(41:45):
or we'll get rid of it.On its own. But we're doing great.
Um. I felt like this wasmy best postpartum recovery journey so far.
We are almost three weeks out ofhim being born and he's doing great.
Um. He had a little bitof genes when he was first born,
but we didn't need to do anythingother than take him outside and let
(42:07):
us get some good vitamin D fromthe sun for you know, about a
little less than an hour, maybeit's twenty thirty minutes each day that first
week and a half or so,and he, you know, got all
that jaundice out, so no issuesthere. He's been nursing. We've been
exclusively breastfeeding. I'm pumping also tokind of create my stash. But I've
(42:28):
also been sharing online just some likepostpart of care and recovery things. That's
the birth story way, love y'all. Thanks for watching. Got us faithful
y'all, Yes, Mark and Ihope you enjoy today's episode. It's truly
(42:50):
a pleasure to be a part ofyour day. Keep up with us on
social media, but also feel freeto email us at team at the guidboatlife
dot com if you got any purquests or questions that we can answer.
Until next time. Chat soon Bye,
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