October 22, 2023 • 31 mins
Welcome to The Godbolt Life Podcast, hosted by Mark and Jade Godbolt. This episode explores Mark's journey of being a husband. Mark shares his intimate experiences and the spiritual lessons learned while transitioning from the corporate world to serving his family full-time at home. He discusses his challenges and breakthroughs in patience, being present, and service. This episode will resonate with anyone seeking guidance, inspiration, or simply looking to understand what it looks like to follow the Holy Spirit in your marriage.
Remember, life is a journey with its ups and downs, but it's how we navigate these changes that truly defines us. Join us on this journey and let's grow together!
Time Stamps:
00:00 - Introduction
00:35 - Marks’ POV on Being A Husband
15:15 - Struggles in Marriage
20:41 - Life Tensions
26:23 - The Obedience Journey
Tune in every Sunday at 3pm CST for new episodes!
Follow Us:
Tiktok @THEGODBOLTLIFEPODCAST @JADEGODBOLT @MARKGODBOLT
Instagram @THEGODBOLTLIFE @JADEGODBOLT @MARKZGODBOLT
Wanna Chat? Email us directly at Team@thegodboltlife.com
Want To Work With Us? Contact our management team at Jade@wearekomodo.com
Remember, life is a journey with its ups and downs, but it's how we navigate these changes that truly defines us. Join us on this journey and let's grow together!
Time Stamps:
00:00 - Introduction
00:35 - Marks’ POV on Being A Husband
15:15 - Struggles in Marriage
20:41 - Life Tensions
26:23 - The Obedience Journey
Tune in every Sunday at 3pm CST for new episodes!
Follow Us:
Tiktok @THEGODBOLTLIFEPODCAST @JADEGODBOLT @MARKGODBOLT
Instagram @THEGODBOLTLIFE @JADEGODBOLT @MARKZGODBOLT
Wanna Chat? Email us directly at Team@thegodboltlife.com
Want To Work With Us? Contact our management team at Jade@wearekomodo.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
And it hit me. Ralph.We talked the reason why I was feeling
that frustration and that friction was becauseI was trying to do my will and
his will at the same time,and you can't. So the only way
that you get tension if you havelike possessed his bands, is because two
things are going in opposite direction,which creates tension. So to release the
(00:24):
tension, that means you have tolet go of something. He loves us
so much that he gave us thechoice to let him go. Welcome to
the Godboat Life Podcast. I'm yourhost, Mark Godboat with my beautiful wife
Jane Godboat. We believe that marriageGod's way is the most powerful catalyst towards
healing and holiness for you and everybodyafter you. Welcome back. We are
(00:54):
kicking off this season a little bitdifferent. We are actually going to be
interview each other. I thought itwould be fun to ask each other questions
about the state of our marriage,where we oh, where we are,
(01:14):
and really be more self reflective,like I'm your wife, obviously, but
answering these things with a focus onyou and where you are at internally and
spiritually, not necessarily bouncing off ofme. But more so revealing what's on
your heart and on your spirit aboutyour role as a husband, as a
(01:38):
father, and the leader of ourhousehold and those kinds of things. So
I'm going to kind of put onmy interviewer hat and ask you questions that
you probably know I know, butI think questions that people would be interested
to hear they answer. Okay,So there's going to be like episode an
(01:59):
episode of this or yeah, sothis is about all about Mark. Didn't
know about this one, guys,I just gonna be interviewed. I's gonna
be like I couldn't. It wasn'tI couldn't, like, you know,
think about what to talk about her. Yes, now every episode is not
necessarily going to be like this,but this is what I felt led to
(02:19):
start off the season with. Sothat's why I have to do my alrighty,
then he'd be knowing, he'd beknowing. Okay, So what would
you describe this season of your lifeas being a husband? I am learning
how to walk and being a sonand the implications of that with everything around
(02:46):
me, which starts off with youand then our children. The click down
to that right now, it's patience, and patience has just been so just
there are seasons where I can feelwhen like the Holy Spirit is like really
(03:06):
trying to get something to me,and it's not through intensity or anything like
that. It's literally like I seea consistent pattern of this gentle guidance towards
something. So in Season one wetalked about indirectly, but we talked about
(03:31):
that for me being for a seasonservice and these lessons that I don't quote
unquote graduate from, but they justbecome tools on my quiver, tools of
my tool belt that I can likethat I am now expected to be able
(03:52):
to use consistently and have faith throughexperiences that they're going to work. Give
us a little bit of tangible physicalstory or how did that happen? Well,
give us since you mentioned the serviceseason, because that was a season.
And I think that breaking up yourrole in these ways is very good
(04:19):
for you, and I think goodfor me too because it kind of gives
us this guiding spirit of it inwhatever we're doing, and it allows me
to kind of hold you accountable aswell. And I watch for these things,
like I know patients is like athing for you right now. I
(04:40):
knew that service was a thing foryou back then, and so I was
able to actually watch you walk thesethings out, knowing that you were trying
to grow in that area specifically.So there were times even in the Service
season when I would not necessarily createan opportunity for you to serve me,
(05:05):
but when you did serve me,even if I didn't praise you in that
moment, I would make a notein my mind to communicate my appreciation more.
And actually that helped me get intoa cadence of actually like vocalizing my
appreciation for what you do on aregular basis, because I wasn't that person
(05:28):
before. I unless you did somethingincredible, I wasn't really saying anything because
I just had that you know,that was part of like who I used
to be. But when you communicatewhere you are, even if we don't
fully understand why God has you walkingthrough that season, it's been helpful for
me from a support standpoint to knowthat, like, Okay, God has
(05:51):
given you this message that like thisis your study focus for this season,
and so tell us a little bitabout what it was like when Service was
and real quick, because I reallywant to jump into the patients and kind
of where we're at now. ButI want to give people an idea of
like how it kind of works foryou, Yeah, so that I can
(06:13):
remember. The last three going toinclude decision I'm in right now. It
was service. It was president,not patients, and service was all around
me stepping outside of myself without gettinganything in return. I've always been a
giver and the world, you know, being in corporate America taught me networking
(06:41):
and like, I'm going to givethis to you now because later I may
need something, whether it's for meor someone else, but it's there's something
behind and why I'm doing it.And the service lesson was all about if
you don't receive anything, but Itold you to do it. When you
do it, it's selfless, it'shumbling, it's truly understanding what love is
(07:11):
because it wasn't about me getting anythingfrom you. It was strictly about,
well, I'm supposed to lead andlove and be gentle and be com passionate
with Huh what did that look like? So that looked like everything from well
at that time it was for orstarted as two weeks, then went to
(07:34):
a month, then to this day. Whatever she asks you to do,
do it as if you are happyto do it, so there would be
times where I would either say noor I would do it but begrudgingly doing
it, so like I really don'twant to do this, but I'm going
(07:56):
to do it. And it's crazybecause I even think about that this day
of like, wow, I reallyI've said this to you before. I
thought I was fooling God because wecan do things and we're thinking that,
like, well, I'm doing it, so that should be enough. But
heart matters, and you couldn't seemy heart. I mean, sometimes I
(08:16):
made it very obvious, but thenthere were other times that it wasn't so
obvious. And the only person whoknew how I really felt about whatever I
was doing was our father. Sothis taught me to not just care more
about you, but also to caremore about how he feels about me in
(08:41):
a real way, so that youknow, you would He made me a
sandwich at eleven PM a night afterI just took out my clothes off,
laid in the bed and it's coldand all of these things which you still
do, but now I can justdo it versus before maybe I would have
(09:03):
said no, or maybe I wouldhave like huffed and puffed, huffed and
puffed or maybe I would have saidsomething to make you feel bad about even
asking me to do it, sothen you would rescind the ask, Like
all of those things are forms ofmanipulation to get it back to what I
truly desire versus actually getting to aplace of not my will, but you'll
(09:28):
will be done. So that wasthe service part. Then the present part
was like, Okay, now there'sa new norm for me. So now
it's like I'm used to getting upevery single day and you know, going
to a job for twelve hours,but that's no longer my reality. So
(09:50):
what do I do now? Andit was a lot of studying, a
lot of in a work, alot of spending time with the father for
real, and it was always justlike, well, this is just gonna
be for three months, so thisis just going to be for unlimited time,
or later I'm gonna be able todo this, and later I'm gonna
be able to do that. Andthat may be the case, but while
(10:11):
I'm looking ahead, I can't actuallydo fully what is in front of me.
I can't honor the season that I'min if I'm looking at the next
season, because I'm not there.I'm here, So that would show up
in so many things to where Iwouldn't have been able to heal the way
that I'm here today at all hadit not been for me being present.
(10:35):
I didn't even realize what that wasdoing for me with our children. So
like not being able to have thatwith my oldest daughter because I was nineteen
and me and her mom lived inseparate places and that was just a whole
thing. Then I would move fromNew York to Texas, from Texas to
Oregon, organic so it's like Inever had that time to fully be present.
(10:58):
Even when I was with her,I always felt like I'm still trying
to establish myself and see what's nextin school and working through There was always
something where I'm going to stay,how I'm going to deal with the abuse.
There was always something that was distractingme, both good and bad,
from being present with her that Ididn't get to establish. And it's still
(11:20):
the things I get to do andthe other children because of not being present.
So after getting that under my belt, well here comes patience, because
you can't be patient without being present. Because part of the reason why we
can't be patient is because we're lookingat it. It's because I want you
(11:41):
to do this now? So howdo I be patient with a wife that's
not in my head to know whatI'm thinking, what I want done,
why I want it done, Withchildren that are even still learning how to
listen, how to obey, solike being able to be patient with them,
And then with people like now runa Bible study the memo, and
(12:05):
it's so much more than a Biblestudy. Now, it's like this group
of men who not rely a righteouscommunity for each other. We're all in
different paths in different places. Andsome of them look up to me as
a leader, being married and havingthe kids and doing all the things spiritually,
but they're in different places too.So how can I lead without there
(12:26):
being this expectation that you are likeme, that you are doing things the
way I would do things. Butwhen you ask me for guidance or assistance,
which is you really asking for thespirit that is operating in me?
How do I move mark out ofthe way so that I can give you
what the Holy Spirit wants me togive you for where you are. You
can't do that without patients. Sothat's why patience has been overwhelmed me.
(12:52):
Because even in season one of thepodcasts. I was not, you know,
spiritually God, no one really butmyself and y'all. Through my actions,
and as I've grown in that,the Holy Spirit has brought more men
to see that, to experience that. And it's like they'll, like they
tell me all the time, likeMarch third Pentent, because like we know
(13:16):
that if we need to hear confirmationfrom something Holy Spirit has shared with us,
we can come talk to you andknow that we're not going to get
marked. We're going to get theHoly Spirit through mark that has come from
patience. That's so good, andI think you touched on a lot of
things, but the first thing Iwant to speak on is actually being present.
(13:41):
And it's interesting how actually each oneof these things tied together because I
didn't even notice it until talking aboutit now. WHOA. It's so so
interesting how God has a purpose ineach season that he takes you through,
(14:01):
right, And it's not until youget a little bit farther down the road
that you can actually look back andsee how everything has been so connected and
very purposely connected when you actually obeythe call of each season, because it's
going to change. It's going likeyou went from working in this corporate setting,
(14:24):
being the guy and going out thereand bringing home money and all that
kind of stuff. Then our worldshifts and now you are at home with
the kids. You're essentially a stayat home dad, and at the same
time you are trying to figure outwhat is it that you're supposed to be
(14:45):
doing. And because of the waywe've grown up and the way the world
sees things is that, well,I've got to be in an occupation in
some way, shape or form,and being at home and serving my family
is enough. And think about thistoo, like it's wild because like when
(15:07):
Christ talks about renewing your mind beingborn again, I couldn't have or not
putting new wine and o wine skinbecause that's what I tried to do and
it wasn't working. And that waslike, honestly more friction because you had
you were trying to bring a Nikemindset into god Bolt the brand. But
(15:31):
even that, but even what Godboth the brand started, as to what
it's growing into and what it's goingto continue, like the revelations that we've
gotten even as of two weeks ago, it's wild because I wasn't I was
trying to bring just the world periodinto what God was asking me to do.
(15:54):
And that was why I was alwaysthinking that nothing that I was doing
was enough because of what I wasmeasuring it up against that was not God's
measurement. Yeah, that's so,that's so true, because we literally will
measure God things against world things.They don't compare, they cannot compete.
(16:15):
Yeah, and people in the worldwon't understand if you're looking to them.
That's why it's so important you haverighteous community because if you're looking at people
that are in the world, thatare only going to have to give to
you what they're experiencing. So ifI was to look to other men in
the world, they would, youknow. And I had some friends who
(16:37):
understood or who even if they didn'tunderstand, they were encouraging, Yeah,
supporting because they knew me. They'relike, yo, we know Mark,
Mark has been I've been working sinceI was fifteen years old, like none
stop. I would brag about workingtwenty five hour days like that was a
thing for me. I was goingto Nike early in the morning and you
(16:59):
would ask me, like, I'mlike, yeah, I do, but
I didn't. But I did becausework, like all I knew was work.
So coming out of that, andGod was trying to usher me and
guide me out of that, butI was still hanging on to what I
knew, to what was comfortable,to what I saw around me, to
what the world told me was thisis what a man is, especially when
(17:23):
it works for the world, especiallywhen it works because you obviously none of
us pursue anything without desiring the thingto be successful. Yet, like we
just said, you cannot measure godthings against world things. And when you
are looking at the world to seewhere you fit or where you stand,
(17:47):
you will be disappointed because the fruitof the world looks different than the fruit
of the Kingdom. And I thinkI wish somebody would have told us this
like back then, because I thinkit would have helped give us some relief
of the pressure we felt because we'rewalking into a new space knowing that god
Bolt was supposed to be something Godfocused, right like god Bolt is our
(18:10):
last name legally, But god Boltthe brand wasn't always God focused. It
was Mark and his creativity and likewhat he wanted to do in the clothing
space. But think about this,though, I don't mind that we didn't
have it, because if we wouldhave had it, then we wouldn't have
(18:37):
had this journey that taught it tous through experience so that we can share
with others. On top of that, the reason why we didn't is because
we were supposed to obey. Likethis hit me. We're got our first
memo men's trip, and I tookMicah and it was on a farm,
(19:02):
and we had all these plans toyou know, fish and raw horse just
do a lot of different things.But you know, MICA's first time being
away from his family, being awayfrom his sister, being away from you
for a fun extending period of time, and being in a car for twenty
plus hours and all of that.And he was just about two, he
(19:25):
wasn't even too yet. And weget there and he midway through he's like,
I'm ready to go home. Imiss my mommy. And his response
to this feeling is to cling tothe closest thing to home he has,
and that's me, which meant thatI couldn't do all of the things.
And the first time when that reallyhit me and became a reality, it
(19:51):
was hard for me to get past. I called you, I was frustrated.
I talked to one or the otherhomies always there. I was frustrated,
and I got exactly what I needed. You said that he needs you.
That's your first priority there, sowhatever that takes, he needs you.
And then right after that, oneof my friends called and he's like,
(20:12):
you know, talking to me aboutthe cows and all the stuff that
they're doing and needing help. Buthe also I start to share with him
our conversation and it hit me.Ralph. We talked the reason why I
was feeling that frustration and that frictionwas because I was trying to do my
(20:33):
will and His will at the sametime, and you can't. So the
only way that you get tension ifyou have like possessed his bands, is
because two things are going in theopposite direction, which creates tension. So
to release the tension, that meansyou have to let go of something.
So I said that to say,not having someone tell me about that taught
(21:00):
me that there was tension during thattime to where I couldn't be present,
so where I couldn't be patient becauseduring that time I was still trying to
do my will. Yeah, Ijust stressed it as God's will for me,
and it was clear through that tensionthat something ain't clicking. Heret so
(21:22):
we'll have tension in life and we'lljust say, oh, it's just this
season. Oh, it's just thisIt's like, no, it's not God's
will that we have tension. Soif there's tension there, that means there's
something that we're trying to do thatis opposite to what He's trying to do
through us, and we have tolet something go. We have that he's
given us the choice to. Heloves us so much that he gave us
(21:47):
the choice to let him go.So that season was teaching me and really
teaching us through me, to letmine will go. Yeah, And I
also think that that season helped yourelease whatever selfishness that was still living in
(22:14):
you, because I feel like asa woman, as a mother, I
went through that when I had Sarai, when I had our first daughter,
was that I did not realize becominga mother would be so much about serving
another person. I never thought ofmotherhood that way before I became a mom.
I just thought, Oh, youhave this cute little Miniu, and
(22:37):
like you do things together. Youof course you're gonna have to bathe them
and you know, feed them andyou know all the things, but you
really don't understand how much selfishness isin you. And it's not a bad
thing. It's just there's a seasonfor it, yea, before you have
a husband, before you have kids, before you are in that role as
a wife, mother. But it'staking care of yourself, looking for you
(23:02):
well. And but even that,though I would say truthfully I was selfish,
Yeah, like I was, itwas beyond just like taking care of
myself. It was I saw thingsthat I wanted for myself and I went
out and I got them. AndI wasn't really concerned about God's plan for
(23:23):
me, like as long as itkind of like it was around what I
was doing. I we oftentimes willlike merge God's paying for us with success,
yeah exactly if things are working,but I mean God doing it,
yeah, And that's not necessarily case. And that's why, you know,
(23:44):
we can get so confused in certainseasons when we're not spiritually tapped in,
because yeah, in order to knowwhen a season comes to an end and
a new season starts, you gotto be connected with the Father for him
to tell you where you are.Because the season of selfishness quot unquote ain't
selfish when you are living by yourselfand taking care of all your needs by
(24:04):
yourself and X, Y and Z. But it becomes selfishness when now you
are in companionship, in marriage,in motherhood, parenthood, and you're still
thinking about yourself, but there's otherpeople around you, especially for you as
a husband, because you were calledOnce you became my husband, you stepped
(24:26):
into a role of putting all ofus before you, literally, and that
was a season where that service,that real lesson of service had to be
hammered into you, and you tookit and you appreciated God walking you through
that lesson of a season. Youknow it's crazy too, and I really
(24:47):
I get emotionally thinking about it becauseI know no one knows than me that
I was at Nike better than me, and I know that if I was
still there, I wouldn't have beenable to have that lesson because everything I
(25:10):
was doing, everything that I thoughtI was doing, even in the selfishness,
was for everybody else, Like Ireally thought that. It was like
I thought I knew best. Ididn't even have the wherewithal to think about
things spiritually. It was I wastaking everything that I thought I learned in
(25:32):
the world. The example that Icompiled to make it myself, because we
do need guidance, we do needcommunity, we need relationships. That is
very true. So because we needthem if we're not getting them from God,
Satan sees that as a prime opportunityto insert whatever he desires. So
(25:55):
now it's like, now I've shapedall of these things based on a legit
intimate need, but it's me doingit. So thinking back to thinking back
now on like all of the lessonsthat seemingly happening spiritually, they were after
the obedience to leave, And ifit wasn't for that, those lessons don't
(26:21):
come because there wasn't space for them. Yeah, there wasn't space for me
to even think about, Like Iwas at capacity, still needing more than
more time or space all these things. So like adding on a marriage,
more children, like it feels toomuch, Like it feels like you can't
(26:44):
because you're busting your butt at workand you are trying to do all the
things, trying to get all thenew iPhones that come out, and do
all the trips every year and goto everybody's thing and do all the things
that ye idea of getting married tosomebody feels like, eh, that's a
bit much. It's like you know, and you under somehow we innately understand
(27:10):
the weight of those types of decisions. So we see the weight and we're
like, yeah, I'm not ready. How many times do people say I'm
not ready for that yet I'm notwhen that's actually the very thing that will
unlock. Yeah, that gives thatlike marriage was created and eating, kids
(27:30):
were created and eating. So we'retalking about marriage or companionship and everything that
comes with that, and then parenthood. But those are the two things that
we say, I don't know ifI'm ready for that. I don't know
if I'm ready for that, orI don't know if I can afford it.
And it's crazy because when I wasin Nikia, if somebody would have
(27:52):
been like, hey, Mark,once you go for this senior ass a
matter of fact, one time Iwent. I had a really good presentation
and I was in Proud of Creationand Merchandising was like his presentations are incredible.
You want an interview for this merchandisingrole. And like on paper,
that is a crazy jump, butin my mom like, oh yeah,
(28:15):
mo, money, want to let'sgo. I said that to say we
take those types of jumps without eventhinking. Somebody was like, Oh,
I'm a here's a job to paytwo hundred and fifty dollars. Bet,
let's go. Let me cram in. As much as I can't care what
I don't care what I gotta do. But as it pertains to being a
(28:38):
husband, to being a father,a wife, or mother, we're like,
ah, oh on if I'm readyfor that, it's just ironic.
But that's where I was. Andat the same time, as stark of
a contrast as that is, andI think as stark of a reality that
(28:59):
is for so many people our age. If you are a millennial or close
to millennial, you get this likethere is we've all hit the point in
life where it's like, okay,if you ain't having kids yet, or
if you're not getting married yet,there's a good chance that it's not gonna
happen for you. That's the realitywe start facing as we get older.
Because it's all cute when we're inyou know, high school, mid twenties,
(29:23):
you out here reaching your potential andall this kind of stuff, and
your cruising that in that world whereyou're finally getting some money in your pocket,
you're doing some things, and thenit's like, well, yeah,
I'm a way till I'm in mythirties to like do like the wife and
the mother type stuff or whatever.But the caveat to that is it's harder.
(29:45):
The more you know of the worldand what it's like to be in
singleness, it's harder. And whathappens is God has to take more drastic
measures to help you understand what youare going to need in order to be
the wife, the husband, themother, the father that He needs you
(30:06):
to be for the children and thepeople around you. Because it's not just
about you and your success. It'sabout everyone that you come in contact with
and everyone that you were attached to. So if you don't do well in
relationships, how are you going tobe able to impact with God's will in
(30:26):
mind and at the forefront, Howare you going to make true impact in
other people's lives? And how doesanyone make a divine impact in your life
if you don't have those types ofrelationships, Because it's not just about you
pouring out, it's also about youbeing able to receive. And thank you
(30:48):
so much for tuning in to thisepisode of the Godbot Life podcast. We'd
love to hear from you, shootus a DM or leave us a review.
Wherever you're listening, we really appreciatehaving you with us on this journey. Yeah,
And it hit me. Ralph.We talked the reason why I was feeling
that frustration and that friction was becauseI was trying to do my will and
his will at the same time,and you can't. So the only way
that you get tension if you havelike possessed his bands, is because two
things are going in opposite direction,which creates tension. So to release the
(00:24):
tension, that means you have tolet go of something. He loves us
so much that he gave us thechoice to let him go. Welcome to
the Godboat Life Podcast. I'm yourhost, Mark Godboat with my beautiful wife
Jane Godboat. We believe that marriageGod's way is the most powerful catalyst towards
healing and holiness for you and everybodyafter you. Welcome back. We are
(00:54):
kicking off this season a little bitdifferent. We are actually going to be
interview each other. I thought itwould be fun to ask each other questions
about the state of our marriage,where we oh, where we are,
(01:14):
and really be more self reflective,like I'm your wife, obviously, but
answering these things with a focus onyou and where you are at internally and
spiritually, not necessarily bouncing off ofme. But more so revealing what's on
your heart and on your spirit aboutyour role as a husband, as a
(01:38):
father, and the leader of ourhousehold and those kinds of things. So
I'm going to kind of put onmy interviewer hat and ask you questions that
you probably know I know, butI think questions that people would be interested
to hear they answer. Okay,So there's going to be like episode an
(01:59):
episode of this or yeah, sothis is about all about Mark. Didn't
know about this one, guys,I just gonna be interviewed. I's gonna
be like I couldn't. It wasn'tI couldn't, like, you know,
think about what to talk about her. Yes, now every episode is not
necessarily going to be like this,but this is what I felt led to
(02:19):
start off the season with. Sothat's why I have to do my alrighty,
then he'd be knowing, he'd beknowing. Okay, So what would
you describe this season of your lifeas being a husband? I am learning
how to walk and being a sonand the implications of that with everything around
(02:46):
me, which starts off with youand then our children. The click down
to that right now, it's patience, and patience has just been so just
there are seasons where I can feelwhen like the Holy Spirit is like really
(03:06):
trying to get something to me,and it's not through intensity or anything like
that. It's literally like I seea consistent pattern of this gentle guidance towards
something. So in Season one wetalked about indirectly, but we talked about
(03:31):
that for me being for a seasonservice and these lessons that I don't quote
unquote graduate from, but they justbecome tools on my quiver, tools of
my tool belt that I can likethat I am now expected to be able
(03:52):
to use consistently and have faith throughexperiences that they're going to work. Give
us a little bit of tangible physicalstory or how did that happen? Well,
give us since you mentioned the serviceseason, because that was a season.
And I think that breaking up yourrole in these ways is very good
(04:19):
for you, and I think goodfor me too because it kind of gives
us this guiding spirit of it inwhatever we're doing, and it allows me
to kind of hold you accountable aswell. And I watch for these things,
like I know patients is like athing for you right now. I
(04:40):
knew that service was a thing foryou back then, and so I was
able to actually watch you walk thesethings out, knowing that you were trying
to grow in that area specifically.So there were times even in the Service
season when I would not necessarily createan opportunity for you to serve me,
(05:05):
but when you did serve me,even if I didn't praise you in that
moment, I would make a notein my mind to communicate my appreciation more.
And actually that helped me get intoa cadence of actually like vocalizing my
appreciation for what you do on aregular basis, because I wasn't that person
(05:28):
before. I unless you did somethingincredible, I wasn't really saying anything because
I just had that you know,that was part of like who I used
to be. But when you communicatewhere you are, even if we don't
fully understand why God has you walkingthrough that season, it's been helpful for
me from a support standpoint to knowthat, like, Okay, God has
(05:51):
given you this message that like thisis your study focus for this season,
and so tell us a little bitabout what it was like when Service was
and real quick, because I reallywant to jump into the patients and kind
of where we're at now. ButI want to give people an idea of
like how it kind of works foryou, Yeah, so that I can
(06:13):
remember. The last three going toinclude decision I'm in right now. It
was service. It was president,not patients, and service was all around
me stepping outside of myself without gettinganything in return. I've always been a
giver and the world, you know, being in corporate America taught me networking
(06:41):
and like, I'm going to givethis to you now because later I may
need something, whether it's for meor someone else, but it's there's something
behind and why I'm doing it.And the service lesson was all about if
you don't receive anything, but Itold you to do it. When you
do it, it's selfless, it'shumbling, it's truly understanding what love is
(07:11):
because it wasn't about me getting anythingfrom you. It was strictly about,
well, I'm supposed to lead andlove and be gentle and be com passionate
with Huh what did that look like? So that looked like everything from well
at that time it was for orstarted as two weeks, then went to
(07:34):
a month, then to this day. Whatever she asks you to do,
do it as if you are happyto do it, so there would be
times where I would either say noor I would do it but begrudgingly doing
it, so like I really don'twant to do this, but I'm going
(07:56):
to do it. And it's crazybecause I even think about that this day
of like, wow, I reallyI've said this to you before. I
thought I was fooling God because wecan do things and we're thinking that,
like, well, I'm doing it, so that should be enough. But
heart matters, and you couldn't seemy heart. I mean, sometimes I
(08:16):
made it very obvious, but thenthere were other times that it wasn't so
obvious. And the only person whoknew how I really felt about whatever I
was doing was our father. Sothis taught me to not just care more
about you, but also to caremore about how he feels about me in
(08:41):
a real way, so that youknow, you would He made me a
sandwich at eleven PM a night afterI just took out my clothes off,
laid in the bed and it's coldand all of these things which you still
do, but now I can justdo it versus before maybe I would have
(09:03):
said no, or maybe I wouldhave like huffed and puffed, huffed and
puffed or maybe I would have saidsomething to make you feel bad about even
asking me to do it, sothen you would rescind the ask, Like
all of those things are forms ofmanipulation to get it back to what I
truly desire versus actually getting to aplace of not my will, but you'll
(09:28):
will be done. So that wasthe service part. Then the present part
was like, Okay, now there'sa new norm for me. So now
it's like I'm used to getting upevery single day and you know, going
to a job for twelve hours,but that's no longer my reality. So
(09:50):
what do I do now? Andit was a lot of studying, a
lot of in a work, alot of spending time with the father for
real, and it was always justlike, well, this is just gonna
be for three months, so thisis just going to be for unlimited time,
or later I'm gonna be able todo this, and later I'm gonna
be able to do that. Andthat may be the case, but while
(10:11):
I'm looking ahead, I can't actuallydo fully what is in front of me.
I can't honor the season that I'min if I'm looking at the next
season, because I'm not there.I'm here, So that would show up
in so many things to where Iwouldn't have been able to heal the way
that I'm here today at all hadit not been for me being present.
(10:35):
I didn't even realize what that wasdoing for me with our children. So
like not being able to have thatwith my oldest daughter because I was nineteen
and me and her mom lived inseparate places and that was just a whole
thing. Then I would move fromNew York to Texas, from Texas to
Oregon, organic so it's like Inever had that time to fully be present.
(10:58):
Even when I was with her,I always felt like I'm still trying
to establish myself and see what's nextin school and working through There was always
something where I'm going to stay,how I'm going to deal with the abuse.
There was always something that was distractingme, both good and bad,
from being present with her that Ididn't get to establish. And it's still
(11:20):
the things I get to do andthe other children because of not being present.
So after getting that under my belt, well here comes patience, because
you can't be patient without being present. Because part of the reason why we
can't be patient is because we're lookingat it. It's because I want you
(11:41):
to do this now? So howdo I be patient with a wife that's
not in my head to know whatI'm thinking, what I want done,
why I want it done, Withchildren that are even still learning how to
listen, how to obey, solike being able to be patient with them,
And then with people like now runa Bible study the memo, and
(12:05):
it's so much more than a Biblestudy. Now, it's like this group
of men who not rely a righteouscommunity for each other. We're all in
different paths in different places. Andsome of them look up to me as
a leader, being married and havingthe kids and doing all the things spiritually,
but they're in different places too.So how can I lead without there
(12:26):
being this expectation that you are likeme, that you are doing things the
way I would do things. Butwhen you ask me for guidance or assistance,
which is you really asking for thespirit that is operating in me?
How do I move mark out ofthe way so that I can give you
what the Holy Spirit wants me togive you for where you are. You
can't do that without patients. Sothat's why patience has been overwhelmed me.
(12:52):
Because even in season one of thepodcasts. I was not, you know,
spiritually God, no one really butmyself and y'all. Through my actions,
and as I've grown in that,the Holy Spirit has brought more men
to see that, to experience that. And it's like they'll, like they
tell me all the time, likeMarch third Pentent, because like we know
(13:16):
that if we need to hear confirmationfrom something Holy Spirit has shared with us,
we can come talk to you andknow that we're not going to get
marked. We're going to get theHoly Spirit through mark that has come from
patience. That's so good, andI think you touched on a lot of
things, but the first thing Iwant to speak on is actually being present.
(13:41):
And it's interesting how actually each oneof these things tied together because I
didn't even notice it until talking aboutit now. WHOA. It's so so
interesting how God has a purpose ineach season that he takes you through,
(14:01):
right, And it's not until youget a little bit farther down the road
that you can actually look back andsee how everything has been so connected and
very purposely connected when you actually obeythe call of each season, because it's
going to change. It's going likeyou went from working in this corporate setting,
(14:24):
being the guy and going out thereand bringing home money and all that
kind of stuff. Then our worldshifts and now you are at home with
the kids. You're essentially a stayat home dad, and at the same
time you are trying to figure outwhat is it that you're supposed to be
(14:45):
doing. And because of the waywe've grown up and the way the world
sees things is that, well,I've got to be in an occupation in
some way, shape or form,and being at home and serving my family
is enough. And think about thistoo, like it's wild because like when
(15:07):
Christ talks about renewing your mind beingborn again, I couldn't have or not
putting new wine and o wine skinbecause that's what I tried to do and
it wasn't working. And that waslike, honestly more friction because you had
you were trying to bring a Nikemindset into god Bolt the brand. But
(15:31):
even that, but even what Godboth the brand started, as to what
it's growing into and what it's goingto continue, like the revelations that we've
gotten even as of two weeks ago, it's wild because I wasn't I was
trying to bring just the world periodinto what God was asking me to do.
(15:54):
And that was why I was alwaysthinking that nothing that I was doing
was enough because of what I wasmeasuring it up against that was not God's
measurement. Yeah, that's so,that's so true, because we literally will
measure God things against world things.They don't compare, they cannot compete.
(16:15):
Yeah, and people in the worldwon't understand if you're looking to them.
That's why it's so important you haverighteous community because if you're looking at people
that are in the world, thatare only going to have to give to
you what they're experiencing. So ifI was to look to other men in
the world, they would, youknow. And I had some friends who
(16:37):
understood or who even if they didn'tunderstand, they were encouraging, Yeah,
supporting because they knew me. They'relike, yo, we know Mark,
Mark has been I've been working sinceI was fifteen years old, like none
stop. I would brag about workingtwenty five hour days like that was a
thing for me. I was goingto Nike early in the morning and you
(16:59):
would ask me, like, I'mlike, yeah, I do, but
I didn't. But I did becausework, like all I knew was work.
So coming out of that, andGod was trying to usher me and
guide me out of that, butI was still hanging on to what I
knew, to what was comfortable,to what I saw around me, to
what the world told me was thisis what a man is, especially when
(17:23):
it works for the world, especiallywhen it works because you obviously none of
us pursue anything without desiring the thingto be successful. Yet, like we
just said, you cannot measure godthings against world things. And when you
are looking at the world to seewhere you fit or where you stand,
(17:47):
you will be disappointed because the fruitof the world looks different than the fruit
of the Kingdom. And I thinkI wish somebody would have told us this
like back then, because I thinkit would have helped give us some relief
of the pressure we felt because we'rewalking into a new space knowing that god
Bolt was supposed to be something Godfocused, right like god Bolt is our
(18:10):
last name legally, But god Boltthe brand wasn't always God focused. It
was Mark and his creativity and likewhat he wanted to do in the clothing
space. But think about this,though, I don't mind that we didn't
have it, because if we wouldhave had it, then we wouldn't have
(18:37):
had this journey that taught it tous through experience so that we can share
with others. On top of that, the reason why we didn't is because
we were supposed to obey. Likethis hit me. We're got our first
memo men's trip, and I tookMicah and it was on a farm,
(19:02):
and we had all these plans toyou know, fish and raw horse just
do a lot of different things.But you know, MICA's first time being
away from his family, being awayfrom his sister, being away from you
for a fun extending period of time, and being in a car for twenty
plus hours and all of that.And he was just about two, he
(19:25):
wasn't even too yet. And weget there and he midway through he's like,
I'm ready to go home. Imiss my mommy. And his response
to this feeling is to cling tothe closest thing to home he has,
and that's me, which meant thatI couldn't do all of the things.
And the first time when that reallyhit me and became a reality, it
(19:51):
was hard for me to get past. I called you, I was frustrated.
I talked to one or the otherhomies always there. I was frustrated,
and I got exactly what I needed. You said that he needs you.
That's your first priority there, sowhatever that takes, he needs you.
And then right after that, oneof my friends called and he's like,
(20:12):
you know, talking to me aboutthe cows and all the stuff that
they're doing and needing help. Buthe also I start to share with him
our conversation and it hit me.Ralph. We talked the reason why I
was feeling that frustration and that frictionwas because I was trying to do my
(20:33):
will and His will at the sametime, and you can't. So the
only way that you get tension ifyou have like possessed his bands, is
because two things are going in theopposite direction, which creates tension. So
to release the tension, that meansyou have to let go of something.
So I said that to say,not having someone tell me about that taught
(21:00):
me that there was tension during thattime to where I couldn't be present,
so where I couldn't be patient becauseduring that time I was still trying to
do my will. Yeah, Ijust stressed it as God's will for me,
and it was clear through that tensionthat something ain't clicking. Heret so
(21:22):
we'll have tension in life and we'lljust say, oh, it's just this
season. Oh, it's just thisIt's like, no, it's not God's
will that we have tension. Soif there's tension there, that means there's
something that we're trying to do thatis opposite to what He's trying to do
through us, and we have tolet something go. We have that he's
given us the choice to. Heloves us so much that he gave us
(21:47):
the choice to let him go.So that season was teaching me and really
teaching us through me, to letmine will go. Yeah, And I
also think that that season helped yourelease whatever selfishness that was still living in
(22:14):
you, because I feel like asa woman, as a mother, I
went through that when I had Sarai, when I had our first daughter,
was that I did not realize becominga mother would be so much about serving
another person. I never thought ofmotherhood that way before I became a mom.
I just thought, Oh, youhave this cute little Miniu, and
(22:37):
like you do things together. Youof course you're gonna have to bathe them
and you know, feed them andyou know all the things, but you
really don't understand how much selfishness isin you. And it's not a bad
thing. It's just there's a seasonfor it, yea, before you have
a husband, before you have kids, before you are in that role as
a wife, mother. But it'staking care of yourself, looking for you
(23:02):
well. And but even that,though I would say truthfully I was selfish,
Yeah, like I was, itwas beyond just like taking care of
myself. It was I saw thingsthat I wanted for myself and I went
out and I got them. AndI wasn't really concerned about God's plan for
(23:23):
me, like as long as itkind of like it was around what I
was doing. I we oftentimes willlike merge God's paying for us with success,
yeah exactly if things are working,but I mean God doing it,
yeah, And that's not necessarily case. And that's why, you know,
(23:44):
we can get so confused in certainseasons when we're not spiritually tapped in,
because yeah, in order to knowwhen a season comes to an end and
a new season starts, you gotto be connected with the Father for him
to tell you where you are.Because the season of selfishness quot unquote ain't
selfish when you are living by yourselfand taking care of all your needs by
(24:04):
yourself and X, Y and Z. But it becomes selfishness when now you
are in companionship, in marriage,in motherhood, parenthood, and you're still
thinking about yourself, but there's otherpeople around you, especially for you as
a husband, because you were calledOnce you became my husband, you stepped
(24:26):
into a role of putting all ofus before you, literally, and that
was a season where that service,that real lesson of service had to be
hammered into you, and you tookit and you appreciated God walking you through
that lesson of a season. Youknow it's crazy too, and I really
(24:47):
I get emotionally thinking about it becauseI know no one knows than me that
I was at Nike better than me, and I know that if I was
still there, I wouldn't have beenable to have that lesson because everything I
(25:10):
was doing, everything that I thoughtI was doing, even in the selfishness,
was for everybody else, Like Ireally thought that. It was like
I thought I knew best. Ididn't even have the wherewithal to think about
things spiritually. It was I wastaking everything that I thought I learned in
(25:32):
the world. The example that Icompiled to make it myself, because we
do need guidance, we do needcommunity, we need relationships. That is
very true. So because we needthem if we're not getting them from God,
Satan sees that as a prime opportunityto insert whatever he desires. So
(25:55):
now it's like, now I've shapedall of these things based on a legit
intimate need, but it's me doingit. So thinking back to thinking back
now on like all of the lessonsthat seemingly happening spiritually, they were after
the obedience to leave, And ifit wasn't for that, those lessons don't
(26:21):
come because there wasn't space for them. Yeah, there wasn't space for me
to even think about, Like Iwas at capacity, still needing more than
more time or space all these things. So like adding on a marriage,
more children, like it feels toomuch, Like it feels like you can't
(26:44):
because you're busting your butt at workand you are trying to do all the
things, trying to get all thenew iPhones that come out, and do
all the trips every year and goto everybody's thing and do all the things
that ye idea of getting married tosomebody feels like, eh, that's a
bit much. It's like you know, and you under somehow we innately understand
(27:10):
the weight of those types of decisions. So we see the weight and we're
like, yeah, I'm not ready. How many times do people say I'm
not ready for that yet I'm notwhen that's actually the very thing that will
unlock. Yeah, that gives thatlike marriage was created and eating, kids
(27:30):
were created and eating. So we'retalking about marriage or companionship and everything that
comes with that, and then parenthood. But those are the two things that
we say, I don't know ifI'm ready for that. I don't know
if I'm ready for that, orI don't know if I can afford it.
And it's crazy because when I wasin Nikia, if somebody would have
(27:52):
been like, hey, Mark,once you go for this senior ass a
matter of fact, one time Iwent. I had a really good presentation
and I was in Proud of Creationand Merchandising was like his presentations are incredible.
You want an interview for this merchandisingrole. And like on paper,
that is a crazy jump, butin my mom like, oh yeah,
(28:15):
mo, money, want to let'sgo. I said that to say we
take those types of jumps without eventhinking. Somebody was like, Oh,
I'm a here's a job to paytwo hundred and fifty dollars. Bet,
let's go. Let me cram in. As much as I can't care what
I don't care what I gotta do. But as it pertains to being a
(28:38):
husband, to being a father,a wife, or mother, we're like,
ah, oh on if I'm readyfor that, it's just ironic.
But that's where I was. Andat the same time, as stark of
a contrast as that is, andI think as stark of a reality that
(28:59):
is for so many people our age. If you are a millennial or close
to millennial, you get this likethere is we've all hit the point in
life where it's like, okay,if you ain't having kids yet, or
if you're not getting married yet,there's a good chance that it's not gonna
happen for you. That's the realitywe start facing as we get older.
Because it's all cute when we're inyou know, high school, mid twenties,
(29:23):
you out here reaching your potential andall this kind of stuff, and
your cruising that in that world whereyou're finally getting some money in your pocket,
you're doing some things, and thenit's like, well, yeah,
I'm a way till I'm in mythirties to like do like the wife and
the mother type stuff or whatever.But the caveat to that is it's harder.
(29:45):
The more you know of the worldand what it's like to be in
singleness, it's harder. And whathappens is God has to take more drastic
measures to help you understand what youare going to need in order to be
the wife, the husband, themother, the father that He needs you
(30:06):
to be for the children and thepeople around you. Because it's not just
about you and your success. It'sabout everyone that you come in contact with
and everyone that you were attached to. So if you don't do well in
relationships, how are you going tobe able to impact with God's will in
(30:26):
mind and at the forefront, Howare you going to make true impact in
other people's lives? And how doesanyone make a divine impact in your life
if you don't have those types ofrelationships, Because it's not just about you
pouring out, it's also about youbeing able to receive. And thank you
(30:48):
so much for tuning in to thisepisode of the Godbot Life podcast. We'd
love to hear from you, shootus a DM or leave us a review.
Wherever you're listening, we really appreciatehaving you with us on this journey. Yeah,
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