Ryan Coogler is a menace and should be ashamed of himself 😈

I mean you read the title…the man is unwell 🤧 😈

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:06):
Then the two of them reconcile.

Speaker 2 (00:08):
We didn't get that because Nokia took what I think
really should have been in Michaun's place in the plot,
and I think only because they had to tie her
back in in order to bring out more of the
Chadwick memorializing stuff, and certainly to set up the end
credits scene, which really caps that thing off. It's another
example of how what the film wants to do for
Childwick is entirely different from what is best for the

(00:31):
story it's supposed to be trying to tell. In any case,
Ramanda's dead now, so Micheaun will never get that redemption.
She's never going to win back her honor in the
eyes of the woman she served. And you could still
do something pretty good with that. You'd have had to
have Michhaun very clearly torn up by her seemingly eternal failure,
pledging to give her life in return for it, then

(00:52):
to be redeemed in the end by Shuri as Ramonda's
royal and familial successor, finding some worth in herself. But
for what do we get instead, Well, Michauon returns to
the story. At this point, she's back, She's getting no
closure in her argument with the Queen, and we don't
even address that.

Speaker 1 (01:10):
She's just back and that's pretty much it. She appears in.

Speaker 2 (01:14):
The science lab, Surrey tells her that she's built her
a new suit and a new spear and she's going
to become the Midnight Angel. Micheau essentially says, now, bro,
I'm a sivvy now and that name sucks. But Suri says, bitch,
you better be ready when I call you, and Michaun's like, ah,
fuck it, why not? And yeah, that's it. That's all

(01:36):
we get. Extraordinary characterizing here, you have a film that
sells itself on the severity of its theme, the theme
of loss and mourning. You have an opportunity to explore
it further here, to deepen it. Because Michon has undergone
a traumatic loss of her own, a loss of honor
tied to the loss of a monarch that she wasn't
around to defend the cause of her perceived failings, it

(01:58):
directly parallels she Cury's own personal experience of the child's death,
someone she looked up to, someone she loved, someone she
believed she had the skills to protect, yet.

Speaker 1 (02:08):
Someone who failed to protect him.

Speaker 2 (02:10):
The film understands the basic utility of parallels, hence it
trying to control See control the character into Iron Child
by just replicating Shuri's skill set and interests. Yet now,
in the one scene where the parallel could have been
used to drive home the film's theme and its message,
in which you could have progressed that theme and message
through its secondary as well as its primary cast, the

(02:32):
writers either didn't see the point or couldn't be fucked
to think about it for more than five seconds. As
I've said many times across my videos, disappointment scales up
based on the amount of potential being wasted. There was
as I hope, I've shown significant potential in Mishone's arc here,
which makes her arc significantly disappointing. We then learned that

(02:52):
Shuri has made more than one new suit, so Michon
recruits discount mishone two. I don't know why this is narratively,
because Discount mischone is a complete redundancy. She affects nothing,
she's the cause of nothing, she has no pivotal role
in the plot.

Speaker 1 (03:08):
She's just kind of there.

Speaker 2 (03:09):
And now she's going to be another flying supersuit person
in the tedious final battle that I'm sure.

Speaker 1 (03:15):
The film is leading up to.

Speaker 2 (03:17):
Meanwhile, Shuri does indeed manage to synthesize the gooflower, and
Nokia turns up for a chat because she's still in
this film, remember, and she's very impressed that Shuri has
found a way to make more goo. Incidentally, if they
can synthesize this gou, they can find a way to
mass produce the gou. And if they can mass produce
the gou, then we've completed the wret Gunner. Perhaps the

(03:37):
only sensible narrative decision taken in the first Black Panther
film the destruction of the Gooflowers. That was necessary, as
I've explained before, because the existence of the goo flowers
poses way too many potentially universe breaking questions. Why wouldn't
they just give it to every Wakandan? Why wouldn't they
have shared it with the Avengers? Wouldn't the blue goo

(03:58):
have been just as valuable and sought after as the
vibranium if they hadn't given.

Speaker 1 (04:01):
It to everyone else.

Speaker 2 (04:02):
If all it takes to grow gooflowers is to infuse
the soil with vibranium, wouldn't Howard Stark have been better
off planting cap shield than giving it to CAP, thereby
being able to mass produce Gou of unfathomable potential. And
if they can mass produce the gou, and the goo
heals everyone of pretty much everything. Wouldn't they be able
to cure the world's population of the vast majority of
known causes of death, and moreover be probably the most

(04:26):
immoral jerks in history if they didn't do that, take
charging over the odds fit insulin that multiply the douchiness
by death, cancer, aids, malaria, cholera, basically every kind of
death besides murder and old age. The existence of the
blue Gou and the Bacandan's refusal to share it with
the suffering world makes Martin's scready look like Desmond fucking

(04:48):
Tutu by comparison. Destroying the gou flowers at least closed
off this near infinite line of questioning.

Speaker 1 (04:54):
But now the Gou is back.

Speaker 2 (04:57):
This has unfathomable consequences, so I'm pretty sure we will
never address a single one of them again. Sheri takes
the Gou and goes dream working, where she bumps into
kill Monger, who does the we're not so different, you
and I speech to the extent that he had any
character redemption in his dying under the Sunrise end at
the first film, dream Killer has forgotten all of that

(05:20):
and basically just justifies all of his actions, which causes
Shuri to wake up in annoyance. She's doubly annoyed because
she did the ritual and took the gou but none
of her ancestors bother to turn up. But hey, she
has super strength now and she picks up a black
panther helmet. The thing that kind of works our universe,
albeit slightly clumsily, just by kill. Munger's insertion is that

(05:41):
the film is trying to play up her teetering on
the edge of being consumed by vengeance, and is it
a reasonable way of depicting that it could have been better?
But I think it by and large does the job.
Shuri then arrives by ufo At and Baku's mountain fortress,
dressed in the black panther suit, which looks eh cold enough,

(06:01):
I guess, even though it takes some strain then to
beat him in an arm wrestle, despite his earlier seeing
her punch of mannikin straight through a wall. Mind you
if the bullshit go only builds on existing strength, and
Surrey here probably had to ingest several liters of it
just to get up to the strength of your average
fourteen year old vegetarian. But hey, we have a new
black panther now. She gives a stirring speech laying out

(06:23):
freakyfish guy's crimes, murdering the queen, etc. In fact, the
queen died saving ironchild, which isn't quite the same thing,
and which presents us with a host of questions we
probably don't have time to explore in their fullness here,
such as why the recountants have so quickly, so often,
and so strongly felt such an affinity with a girl.

Speaker 1 (06:43):
They met only a few hours ago, so.

Speaker 2 (06:46):
Strongly, indeed, that they're prepared to have their country invaded
in their queen drowned to save her. All I'll say
about it for now is that this seems especially drastic,
not because it's morally or logically indefensible to do any
of this necessarily, but because it's drastic. Conditionally sacrificing high
in political ideals in the name of love is a

(07:06):
well born and admirable trope. Greater love hath no man
than this the Bible says that a man may lay
down his life for his friends. Iam Forster once said
that if given a choice between betraying his country or
betraying his friend, he hoped he would have the guts
to betray his country. And I consider both of these
to be good and noble statements. But Iron Child isn't
a friend in this sense. She's practically a complete stranger.

(07:29):
The film has spent no time on her character or
her relationships. Most people's capacity for self sacrifice on the
part of complete strangers is much less than it is
on the part of good friends. If the Wakandan's actions
with respect to Iron Child seem unduly drastic, then it's
because the film hasn't given them anything worth dying for sure.
He continues all the same, saying their capital was destroyed,

(07:51):
which it categorically was not bits if it got a
bit wet a palace window. God smashed her plan to
get back of Riaky Fish guy is and I quote
to bring Namore to us, by which she means luring
him to and I quote again a distant location at sea.
I am now beginning to doubt the plain meaning of
words bring him to me is hard to reconcile with

(08:15):
in a place far away, it's not impossible to reconcile. Essentially,
she's selling the terms and the location of their engagement.
But then, if you live in a landlocked African country
miles from the coast, and you know your enemy is
primarily water based, if the only waterways into your kingdom
are a limited number of rivers that will be too
shallow and too narrow for attack whales and thousands of

(08:36):
sea people to perverse. If you know that this is
how the freaky fish people will have to approach your kingdom,
and you know that they will be coming back in
seven days by their own admission, why in the name
of Jeff Bezos's shiny head would you voluntarily take your
army into the ocean. Why would you not establish a
position miles inland, block your rivers, get some fucking beavers,

(09:00):
defend your waterways to thin their numbers, and then meet
them outside of their element. Why are you volunteering to
go to the one place that is best for your
enemy and worst for your own forces. Your tanks are
fucking rhinos. Rhinos are not aquatic mammals.

Speaker 1 (09:18):
Do Bocandans have a navy of armored hippos that can
take on the Aztec's fleet of killer whales. How does
Bacanda even have a.

Speaker 2 (09:25):
Navy through whose territory are you going to move all
the troops? The film still pretends the world knows nothing about.
Why have you not told the Americans about any of this?
Given you now how absolutely no reason not to enlist
their support in this fight?

Speaker 3 (09:38):
Ugh.

Speaker 2 (09:38):
The answer to all of this, by the way, is
because shut up, We've got a film to finish. And
Baku asks whether they would be right to kill freaky
fish guy because his people believe he's a god. Sure,
he takes him aside, and he explains that killing a
god could risk eternal war, which is, to be fair,
an interesting point that the obvious corona is. But what

(10:00):
if that god insists on wiping out everyone on earth?
Also because it's an interesting question, yep, highly doubtful will
touch on that one again either. He says it's not
what her mother would have wanted for her, and Shuri
gives another impassioned and fairly well performed spiel about her
mother being dead and her dreams and hopes being dead
as well. She Suri wants nay more dead and she
demands that, and back you help her achieve it. Once again,

(10:23):
I see what the film is going for, and once
again it's a creditable trope when deployed accurately. The problem,
as ever, with this film is that it's character and
well building are at odds with each other. Freakyfish Guy's
stated goal is global annihilation followed by global domination, including
the end of Wakanda. Unless Wakanda bends the knee, it
hasn't given us any way out for him. In fact,

(10:45):
it's being quite careful in closing down any potential avenues
for peace. That is kind of the point of the setup. Simultaneously,
it seems to have attempted to build up Shuri's personal
revenge motive in such a way that leaves us suspecting
she might have cracked. The similarity with Freaky Fish Guy
and with kill Kill Munger Killed why can't remember his name?
Killdozer Kill Manger that one and her angry and bitter

(11:07):
response to Umbacu in this scene. They both invite us
to read irrationality into her actions, someone corrupted by desperate anger.
Kill Munger was right, we aren't so different you and I.
These two build ups are fighting over the same conclusion.
If they have no choice but to kill Freaky Fish
Guy to end his evil plans, then Shuri's payoff struggles
to find a place. Sure, she might be motivated by

(11:29):
the wrong reasons, but the film has us thinking that
her proposed solution is the right one. If she goes
off to kill him based on what the film wants
us to think is flawed reasoning motivated by hatred and bitterness, well,
how can we regret her course of action if that's
the only course of action that could prevent World War
One possible way out would have been to at least
trail Freaky Fish Guy's persuadability to justify him climbing down

(11:51):
at some later point. The problem is that to get
us to where we are now, it's hard to portray
him as utterly uncompromising, and the film has worked so
hard to establish that that it actually had to compromise
on its sense making faculties.

Speaker 1 (12:04):
As already discussed at some length, Freakyfish Guy has been indissolubly.

Speaker 2 (12:08):
Focused on remaining hidden from the world, and then indisolubly
bent on going to war with the same world, which
would reveal him he didn't climb down from the first position.

Speaker 1 (12:17):
The writers just apparently forgot about it.

Speaker 2 (12:19):
He can't climb down from this position without wreckoning his
personality and his motives a second time. The only outcome
that makes sense is Freakyfish Guy's death or his defeat
with the promise of returning unbowed to try again. The
only narrative choice available on the character level is for
Shri to switch her motives, for her to do the
actually we are different you and I thing that would

(12:41):
fulfill her character arc, but it still amounts to you
very little narratively, A shift from killing you is the
right thing to do, but I'm doing it because I'm
angry to killing you is the right thing to do,
but I now regret that I have to do it.
Anything else would require a profound change in Freaky Fish
Guy's character and motives that the film literally does not.

Speaker 1 (12:57):
Have time to trail in any way.

Speaker 2 (13:00):
Which inevitably means that's exactly what it will do, and
the film will end in the least satisfying way imaginable,
but will come to that in the moment. Mbaku relents
and a motley collection of mostly spear armed not good
up Wakandan tribesmen board a Bacandon's ship.

Speaker 1 (13:14):
Again, not a good plan. Your enemies control the fucking water.

Speaker 2 (13:17):
Shuri and Nokia have a part in conversation which answers
that point I raised a moment ago. Shuri says that
she is already consumed by vengeance. It's her soul driving motive,
or at any rate, that's what she believes of herself. Honestly,
with these ingredients, the most interesting thing to do would
be for her to actually be consumed by vengeance and
for the film to end on a massive downer. Freaky
fish guy dead, but the black panther dead in spirit

(13:40):
as well. Not all wounds can be healed, but this
is a Marvel film, so so nah. The Macandans go
off to the Atlantic in one big ship, most powerful
nation in the world, and its army is a couple
of dozen people on one ship. It only has one ship.
It's a pretty big ship, and you have to wonder
where the hell layd been keeping it for the many

(14:00):
centuries of their existence where they had no business on
the sea. And Freakifish guy and his well riding army
go off to meet them incidentally in to touch on
this in a bit more detail. What is the Wakandan's
reason now for not having formed the Americans and the
rest of the world about what's going on. They had
to remain stumb to avoid war. Then they had to
remain stumb to avoid Freakyfish Guy from killing Shuri while

(14:21):
she was in captivity.

Speaker 1 (14:23):
Now they are.

Speaker 2 (14:23):
At war and he doesn't have Shuri, and the war
was the inevitable conclusion anyway. One of Freakyfish Guy's motives
was to remain hidden and unknown too, so unsuspected by
the rest of the world. The choice the Bacandans were
presented with was sided with Freaky fish Guy against the world,
or side with the rest of the world against Freaky
fish Guy. They've made the latter choice, but the film
doesn't seem to realize what that entails. Freakifish Guy has

(14:46):
no hold over them anymore. They've made their choice and
it's against him. He has no leverage. He lost Shuri,
he lost Iron Child. He poses a mortal threat both
the Wakanda and to the rest of the world. The
mcandons are still suspected by the rest of the world
for their involvement in the CIA's Atlantic incidents, and they
need to clear their name, so there's absolutely no reason
for them not to tell the rest of the world now,

(15:07):
And there is every conceivable reason for them too to
tell the rest of the world now. Given Freakyfish Guy's
ambitions are solely in their hands and he has no
hold over them that would prevent them.

Speaker 1 (15:17):
Destroying his dreams.

Speaker 2 (15:18):
The Candons would clear their name and salvage their international reputation.
They'd bolster their pathetic one ship navy and its small
battalion of spear wilding warriors with the combined might of
the international community. Everyone in the West would put Thecandan
flags in their Twitter buyers, and the world economy would
be boosted by armed sales from raytheon Bae and Lockheed Martin.
Thecandon soldiers could be good You dance on social media

(15:40):
to drum up support. Cringey celebrities could recite poems on
TikTok about Freakifish Guy's mother.

Speaker 4 (15:45):
I'm so sorry that I was not your mother. If
I was your mother, you would have been so loved.
Held in the arms of joyous light. Never would the
stories plight the world unfurled before our eyes appured in
mind of nations saying peaceful under a Knight scatch.

Speaker 1 (16:03):
Which would be very funny given that he doesn't have one.
There's no way the Aztecs could have survived this.

Speaker 2 (16:08):
I wouldn't be at all surprised to find the writers
had political objections to having the Americans serve in any
role that could be construed as rescuing the Wacandans or
that portrays them as the good guys. But I can
think of no narrative reason for the Candons not to
tell them, which is very shoddy writing. The Bacandon ship
emits a sonic boom and forces Freaky fish Guy's army

(16:28):
to the surface, but having been established they are very
vulnerable to sonic weaponry.

Speaker 1 (16:32):
Will we see it again? Probably not.

Speaker 2 (16:35):
The Wcandon's d cloak and the battle kicks off, featuring
Ironschild's incredibly silly looking Transformers get up.

Speaker 1 (16:41):
I'm sticking to my guns. By the way, I think
I said it in part one.

Speaker 2 (16:45):
I got some flag for it, but I'm right, Transformers
no shit. Gundam is better some of them. People decide
they don't much mind the sonic boom after all, and
so they disable it. Then they swarm up on the
big Wacandan ship on a subject of things we saw
earlier that we'll never see again, despite them being very
useful in this exact scenario, the more people just kind

(17:05):
of forget that they can lure their enemies into the
water with their death song and decide a straight fight
would just be much more fun. It would have been
so simple to show the we Candon's putting in ear plugs,
and it would have taken just a few seconds to
depict a failed attempt in a way that explains that
power's absence from precisely the situation in which it would
be most deadly. But nah, we've got loads of wirework

(17:25):
to do and some CG and some stunts to cram in.
There's not a huge amount to be said about the
battle itself. It's bark, standard MCU stuff, lots of flying around,
occasional lasers. Not quite as weightless as the fight at
the close of the first film, but not much weightier either.
Probably the only way to redeem Shee Hulk at this
point is to go out of your way to prove
that Jen Walters was right in her argument with Kevin

(17:48):
about superhero endings. This fight has its share of extraordinary
luck as usual, which is handy because the Thecandon's ludicrous
plan to mic away Freaky Fish Guy in mid air
relies on it just happens to shoot him in the
clouds at just the right altitude, at just the right moment,
with just enough force to set himone just the right
trajectory at just the right speed for just the right

(18:08):
amount of time to hit the pervaporation Fighter. Yes that's
a thing, No, it shouldn't be, which arise at just
the right moment for him to very conveniently fall inside,
meaning sure he can go up and have a confrontation
with him. Freaky Fish Guy, for his part, courteously waits
until she reaches the fighter before he remembers he's actually
still in the plot. Quick sidebar for any budding writers

(18:29):
out there, Characters do not just freeze when they're off screen.
The world doesn't stop save for the one bit you're
depicting at the time. Events off screen move at the
same pace as those on screen. Freaky Fish Guy has
the time while the ship descends low enough for Shury
to jump aboard to bust his way out of the jet,
or at least to begin trying to, but he doesn't,

(18:50):
so Shury plops into the ship and the AI hopefully
turns on the fucking microwave.

Speaker 1 (18:56):
Yes, yes, this really is their plan.

Speaker 2 (18:58):
It really is happening, and freakifish Guy's first reaction to
being trapped in a random fighter jet is not to
punch his way through it or to jump back out
through whatever hole he came in. No, that wasn't the
best choice of words in hindsight, but I've committed to
it now, so we'll have to see it through the
bitter end anyway. Instead, he waits until Sherry arrives. They
have a quick chat, then he gets microwaved. He having

(19:20):
been captured. The Bcandans decide to retreat back to Wakanda.
Don't know how they're gonna get there on this massive ship,
given that they can't possibly go all the way up
the river to Central Africa, but.

Speaker 1 (19:29):
To fuck it, who knows.

Speaker 2 (19:30):
However, inconveniently but entirely predictably, it turns out they have
no means of defending the underside of their big shep,
which is one of the countless reasons coming out to
see for this fight was a spectacularly dumb decision. This
means that one of the murd people can steadily smash
a hole in the bottom and put a big bomb.

Speaker 1 (19:47):
In it, which disables the shep. That in turn means
that a huge bundle of water bombs can be towed
toward it by some whales, which causes it to lean
and some were canandans to fall into the water. Not
many of them, mind a few of them.

Speaker 2 (20:00):
And this because rather than bringing a ship with any
weaponry on board, they all just stand on top of it, so.

Speaker 1 (20:06):
They haven't excused to swing their spears around.

Speaker 2 (20:08):
Most powerful nation in the world facing rival to that title.
But in what of the conceivable military engagement would this
tactic be useful. Most actual navies don't just stand men
on top of their ships, so you can't just beat
them by making the ship rock a bit. And that's
apparently all the Aztecs can do. Oh anyway, not to worry,

(20:32):
because Nokia and Micheon fly in on their suits and
they cause trouble in the pervaporation ship. Preaky fish Guy
tries to use his vibranium spear to escape, and the
AI tells us that for some reason, this means that
the ship could explode at any second. Surey tells it
to fly them into the desert that they should really
have been in from the off, and then the ship
does indeed explode. Just why why would you do any

(20:55):
of this? Even accepting that you should have left Wakanda
for the battle, which you definitely fucking should Why wouldn't
you have made the desert your base of operations. Why
wouldn't you attack from the desert. Why couldn't you use
Talakan's location which Nokia knows, to send drones down or
missiles down to smoke them out, lure them into the
desert fight from a position of strength. The entire battle

(21:17):
plan was devised solely because the writers wanted a sea battle.
There is no tenable in universe reason for it. They
just wanted it to happen, so they contrive their way
to making it happen. Absolute joke level writing. So now
we get two fight scenes the track, the one on
the big ship and the one in the desert. Michone
vesus headfish guy and iron child VI some mermaid bint

(21:39):
in the first instance, Schrei vesus no more in the
second one, which is all tedious and predictable. It's not
only the setup that's repetitious, it's the rhythm of the
fight scene, you already know that the heroes will be winning.
Then something will go wrong. In this case, Shuri gets
stabbed by Freaky Fish Guy's spear right through the gut,
and then everything will slow down and look desperate for

(21:59):
a while. Well, and then you'll have a moment of
awakening for the hero in this case, Shuri somehow surviving
and instant healing in a manner that would make Obi
Wan's Space Moses jealous, followed by some flashbacks, and then
a stand up between the hero and the villain, and
then things will turn out in our hero's favor after all.
Albeit here the last couple of steps are slightly tweaked
because in this telling, Freaky Fish Guy just happens to

(22:21):
be walking in the direct line of one of the
destroyed Pervaporation ship's engines, which is somehow still functioning despite
it being a complete wreck, and which Shury appears to
be able to activate using a risk computer, which causes
it to emit a burst of fire that hits Freaky
Fish Guy in the back and knocks him down. They
m they dried his back. I have elected not to

(22:43):
make that. Joe Shuri, who is now absolutely fine, stands
over him with his spear in hand, and we get
a long sequence of flashbacks in reverse, jumping between the
events of her past and the events of his. And
then Queen Ramanda Valarian appears to her in a vision
and Shary has her moment of moral away. In the end,
she demands the freaky fish guy yield in return for
Bacanda's protection, which he won't because he's a moral fanatic,

(23:07):
a committed genocider, a single minded So he accepts her
offer and it's all cool. Then both of them immediately
recovered from their injuries, They fly over the battlefield standing
on a ship together and announce that they're friends. Now
just really, that's that's what you've gone with. That's nonsense.
But we'll come back to it in a moment, because no,

(23:28):
well that's it. We're wrapping up now. That's basically the
end of the film. Suri and Iron Child have a chat.
It turns out they're going to let Ironchild go home,
but she has to leave the suit behind. Why she
can surely make it again herself. She can make another
vibranium detector herself. Why the hell would name More have

(23:48):
agreed to this? But no, and Shury also agrees to
replace Ironchild's muscle car. We get Shury's coronation ceremony on
top of the waterfall, except that she doesn't turn up.
An Embacua emerges from the plane and says that he
who wants the challenge for the throne over in Talakhan
freakifish guy and his cousin whose name is Namura or
is it Naymura?

Speaker 1 (24:09):
No?

Speaker 2 (24:09):
Namora must be Nomura naymore and Nomura mm hm. Anyway,
they have a slightly sinister chat in which she is
revealed to not like this new settlement, but he says
that Shuri's compassion for Talakhan might one day prove useful,
suggesting that I might have been right earlier about little
changing in the outcome from Shuri's moral awakening, but they'll
save the consequences for a later film. And then we

(24:31):
cut to Bilbo as a prisoner being transported in a
van which comes across a fallen tree and stops, and
Michone pops up and rescues him. She says, a colonizer
in chains. Now I've seen everything, except of course, that
he's American and he wasn't alive hundreds of years ago,
and Wakanda was never colonized. I'm going to come back
to this in the moment as well. Shuri, it turns out,

(24:53):
has buggered off to Haiti to meet Nokia, where she
finally gets to complete the ritual that was aborted when
Freakifish guy staged his first intervention in Wakanda's internal affairs.

Speaker 1 (25:02):
She has elected to be the black Panther, but not
the Queen.

Speaker 2 (25:06):
This prompts flashbacks if she and the Chada, which is
tasteful enough, I suppose, and she has a cry and
that's the end of the film proper. All it's left
is the mid credit scene where we learn that Nokia
and The'chada had a secret son in Haiti who they
kept away from the pressures of rulership, and that Ramonda
knew all about it. Actually, so there and that is

(25:26):
the end of the film. How to sum up Let's
kick off with the good. The meme is that current
Marvel film is the best Marvel film since the last
Marvel film. In this case, that is probably true narratively
and tonally. Wecand Off, ever, is maybe half a grade
above faor Love and Thunder. It's probably a few grades
above it. Actually, it doesn't treat every sentence as a joke.

(25:48):
It has the intelligence of a mentally stunted millennial rather
than a mentally stunted zuomer, in having a plot that
in places adds up and in not completely destroying the
known laws of the universe. It's also better, I think
the multiverse of madness. Really, it's hard to tell these apart.
They are so close together. You could just swap these
three around them. I would probably find a good argument

(26:09):
for your list. But no, I'm gonna say it's slightly
better than the two preceding. The soundtrack is creative enough.
It usually avoids being intrusive, with a couple of notable exceptions.
It features some fairly strong performances in the name from
Queen Ramanda and Shiri. The in universe suffering possibly conveys
the real world sense of lust. I don't doubt many

(26:29):
of the cast felt at the death of Chadwick Boseman.
It managed, for the most part, to avoid funeral kitsch,
never mind funeral pawn making for an homage and a
dedication that was, if not at all subtle, then at
least not offensively crass. It occasionally remembered that morals are
a thing that characters should have an experience, even if
it only selectively remembered them, and in displaying a basic

(26:49):
understanding of cause and effect, you could at least see
how events followed events. Again, with some notable exceptions. It
is staggering that something so elementary should need to be
pointed out for praise.

Speaker 1 (27:00):
But that's the world we now live in.

Speaker 2 (27:02):
Of the bad, there is inevitably much more to say
Wakanda is a memeable entity, because, as I've had to
say time and time and time again, it makes no
fucking sense. It's a kind of perverse achievement that the
MCUs now created a faction that makes less sense than Wakanda,
and that it's done so by destroying one of the
few solid rules established by the first Black Panther film.

(27:23):
Wacanada forever has no understanding of consequences as regards the
rules of world building. In the first film, it was
comically absurd that a magical meteor should land and produce
the world's most durable and valuable metal in functionally unlimited supply,
and also a magic flower that produced magic gou that,
if taken could cure all illnesses and imbue a person
with superpowers. Taken together, the entire edifice of Wakanda is

(27:46):
constructed on contrivance. How is it so advanced vibranium? How
is its technology capable of pretty much anything like anal
beads that serve as communicators and also grenades and also
heating tools.

Speaker 1 (27:57):
Well that's vibrainium and goo. Why don't all the Candons
get to take the goo? Good question? Becausem culture. Why
can't they take it in future?

Speaker 2 (28:07):
Well, we at least solved that problem by having kill
Monger burn all the flowers, meaning the substance might have
been unlimited in its potential, But that's unlimited potential and
its world breaking connotations had at least been safely compartmentalized
away from the world they might break. A rule has
been established that stops Wacandan nonsense trading on the MCU's
world markets. A terrible film at least limited the damage

(28:29):
it could do to those that came around it after it.
But Wacanda forever has broken that one rule, and so
all the sense that stemmed from it. Wacanda is no
longer the only source of vibranium, or the flour, or
the magic gu how many other meteors landed? Don't know
how widespread is the Aztec's vibranium deposit. Don't know Why
had nobody discovered it before now?

Speaker 1 (28:51):
Don't know?

Speaker 2 (28:52):
Now the CIA know roughly where to find it, why
haven't they gone back to try and look for it?

Speaker 1 (28:56):
Don't know? Why does it turn Aztecs into fish and
the Canda into strong man? Don't know?

Speaker 2 (29:02):
Why does it turn freaky fish guy into a jellyfish
with wings on his heels?

Speaker 1 (29:06):
Mutants?

Speaker 2 (29:07):
Now Shehery's been able to create synthetic blue goo and
potentially mass.

Speaker 1 (29:10):
Produce it, Will they give it to all the Candons
and even to.

Speaker 2 (29:12):
The rest of the world to cure the vast majority
of known causes of death and completely transform the world?

Speaker 1 (29:18):
Probably not.

Speaker 2 (29:19):
They could, but they won't is not an acceptable answer,
given not doing so would make them the biggest in
the long, sorry history of Cupdom. You can't overstate the
consequences of that reveal. Yet we're lucky of the film
that even acknowledges the questions have been raised, such as
when Maschone poses that how did the Aztecs get vibranium conundrum?

(29:39):
Most of the consequential world building questions have never even
raised in the film, and absolutely none of them are answered.

Speaker 1 (29:45):
For Again, the closest.

Speaker 2 (29:46):
We get to an answer to any of them is
Michone complaining that the fairy tale she heard as a
kid might not be true. This is not the first
thought that would have come into my mind if I
just discovered that the entire basis of my society had
been shattered. If Wacanda makes no sense, the assets make less.
They multiply the dumbfucktory of the goop by expanding its

(30:08):
range of seeming the arbitrary effects. Unlike the Wacandens, they
have never taken the trouble to turn their vibranium into
anything remotely approaching technology. With the exception of their breathers,
their spears, and possibly, but not certainly, their underwater city,
no attempt was made to conceal Talakan, or even to
guard its approach beyond its naturally secretive location down where
it's wetter. Wacanda, being land based, would be much easier

(30:31):
to stumble across by accident, Hence the trouble they go
to to conceal themselves and guard their borders. Talakan has
a high degree of natural concealment. Yet that high degree
of natural concealment when all but entirely out of the
windows centuries ago, when oil prospecting and submarine exploration became
the favored past time of capitalists, scientists, and board film directors.

(30:52):
They are more jealous of their privacy than even the Bacandans,
yet took no additional steps to conceal what was a
more naturally concealable home, preferring instead the world war option
that wasn't the plan until it was right up until
the point of which it wasn't. Again, this tires questions
of world building, plot, and character motivation together because Freakyfish
Guy's plan is and always was incomprehensible, and it's what

(31:14):
supposedly shapes and determines much of the plot. He wants
to kill Iron Child because she alone could build a
vibranium detector that could potentially reveal his nation to the world.
He wants to do that before he launches the world
war that would reveal his people to the world. He
forces them to kidnap Iron Child and Hunter over so
he can kill her in aid of the first goal. Then,
when it turns out that they don't kill her after all.

(31:36):
He tries to use Iron Child as a bargaining chip
to get Wakanda onside as an ally in his invasion
of the world, which again would have revealed himself, then
insists the Iron Child must die. Then he doesn't much
mind if she lives or dies, as long as Wakanda
joins his fishermen in going to war with the world.
The alternative is war with Wakanda, which would reveal his
people to the world. The mcandans don't tell anyone about

(31:57):
him in case he invades and reveals himself to the world.
Yet when the option presents itself, he keeps Ironchild alive
and in captivity for no discernible gain while he negotiates
with Shuri the most destructive way to ensure their mutual revelation.

Speaker 1 (32:09):
To the world.

Speaker 2 (32:10):
Then Thecandon's voluntarily go to war with someone whose driving
motive is that he doesn't want to be revealed to
the world, and they choose not to reveal him to
the world, despite having every reason to do so and
notice incentive from doing so. After their final confrontation, Freaky
Fish Guy relents and accepts Wacanda's protection using Wacandan's stealth
tech to ensure that he remains hidden from the world

(32:30):
his first goal once again, which option only makes sense
if the World War was purely optional and his only
unconditional motive was remaining hidden from the world, in which case,
given both he and the Wacandans had a powerful shared
interest in ensuring his vibranium deposit wasn't discovered, they could
have struck this bargain to their mutual benefit, forged a strong,
peaceful and profitable alliance, and avoided the entire nonsensical mess

(32:52):
that followed at their first meeting at the beginning of
the film. The only reason that wouldn't have worked is
if he was fanatic committed to the World War, which
he wasn't until he was right up until the pointer.
But she wasn't a game that the CIA already has
a fix on the likely location of his vibranium, and
Bilbo has already suggested to the CIA that another nation
might be out There are two more questions that are

(33:14):
too inconvenient for the film to bother addressing. Bilbo is
simply sent to prison, and that's it. The Americans are
an ever present threat to Wakanda in this film. The
film opens with their deteriorating relations. It reminds us often
of their presence, of their desire to move in on
Wakanda following the child's death, and then for the final.

Speaker 1 (33:32):
Act they just disappear.

Speaker 2 (33:33):
They do nothing, Nothing comes of the knowledge they have
or their threats of invasion and destabilization. They cease to exist.
As far as the plot is concerned. There's no payoff
to that entire arc. It's the narrative equivalent of a
ruined orgasm. And the Wecandons have shot themselves in the foot.
That's a mixed metaphor can you shoot.

Speaker 1 (33:52):
No, it's not.

Speaker 2 (33:53):
I guess if you shoot yourself in the foot, it
would ruin an orgasm. Anyway, the we Candons have shot
themselves in the foot because by not telling the America,
the Americans still suspect that they were behind the attack
on the CIA in the Atlantic. So actually, the Candons
have voluntarily left themselves in a significantly disadvantageous position compared
to the one they had every incentive of manufacturing. It's
almost as if the film makes no sense. The stakes

(34:17):
shifting constantly makes the plot less obviously observed than love
and thunder or multiverse of madness, but not much less
nonsensical in its own right. Character motives explain character actions,
which in turn form the basis of the plot. They
are the reasons things happen the way they do. If
these foundations are unstable, the resulting creation is liable to
collapse under the slightest bit of pressure or the first

(34:38):
hint of questioning. Where there are self evidently better, simpler
and more peaceful and profitable options that characters could have
taken but didn't that they could have repeatedly taken and
repeatedly didn't, then you need sincere and almost fanatical motivation
to the alternative to explain why that worst option was taken.
If those motivations don't exist, or if they change easily,

(34:59):
you don't have recourse to the insanity play, and the simpler,
better and easier options are then only avoided because otherwise
there wouldn't be a film. As I said on my
other channel, if you only have characters do implausibly dumb
shit because otherwise you wouldn't have a plot, your plot
is built on contrivance, not unsensible writing. This is especially
true a freaky fish guy. As we've discussed at some length.

(35:22):
Because the film evidently wanted to close on sequel base,
it felt it necessary to create what must turn out
to be a false piece between the Wecandans and the Aztecs.
Leaving aside the nonsense of the final battle and the
pervaporation plane plan, the great narrative issue with the non
climax is precisely that it was a non climax. These

(35:42):
weren't two long battling foes who fought each other to
exhaustion and a reluctant impasse. These were two enemies who
met a couple of days ago, who didn't need to
be enemies, who became mortal enemies later. Not at the
moment of Romando's death, though that was the triggering event,
but from the moment the film switched Freaky Fish.

Speaker 1 (35:59):
Guy his motives for no adequately explored reason.

Speaker 2 (36:02):
They became mortal enemies from the moment he decided he
was and had always been, set on the course of
global destruction and domination. Yet this is not a plan
that should end with a false peace, and his is
not a character who should have accepted it. Shuri's change
of heart at least forms part of an intelligible arc,
even if she's far too quick to elevate Freaky fish
Guy to the position of official ally rather than a

(36:25):
defeated subject. I don't think the moment of them flying
together proclaiming peace in our time can be excused by
her naivety as established in.

Speaker 1 (36:33):
The film, since a significant part.

Speaker 2 (36:34):
Of her arc involves her loss of that same innocence
and naivety. If the idea was to show her tacitly
accepting Ambaku's advice against killing someone his people believed to
be a god because that could risk eternal war, the
film did an appalling job of framing it in that way.
It made no attempt to justify it, and in any event,
Wo'd be left to ask just what the risk of
said eternal war actually years. Given this mighty army of

(36:57):
fish people could be fended off by one and a
few dozen Wacandan soldiers. You can make a decent sequel
premise from this raw material, but the film doesn't seem
especially aware of the fact. In the event, we have
Freaky fish Guy accepting an offer he should have made
at the beginning, but should not have accepted that the
point he actually accepts it. If he is to remain

(37:17):
in character, and Shrei elevating him well above the station
his actions warranted. The underlying political message is quite possibly
supposed to convey Indigenous solidarity against the white Westerners, which
is a point we might come back to presently, but
quite apart from that being a pretty ugly message, it
lends itself to this unsatisfying conclusion, But simply the film

(37:38):
bigged this up to be a final confrontation and turned
it into a damp squip. Its characters don't appear to
have been written with this type of ending in mind.
The plot begged for a conclusion, not for an interlude.

Speaker 1 (37:50):
Of the remaining characters.

Speaker 2 (37:51):
There's not a huge amount at the film deserves praise
for Ramanda's portrayal. Angela Bassett's performance likewise for making a
good fist of a difficult job elevating Shuri due to
Charla's old role, which he had handled quite sensitively and
without recourse to a cliche and triumphalist and that hers
as a character that could still be taken in interesting
and thoughtful directions is evidence that at the very least

(38:12):
the film didn't fuck her up. Praise is warranted too
for Umbaku, who managed to lighten the mood without recourse
to generic mcu cutt and page humor. In a slate
of films that have been largely lifeless, it is nice
to get a glimpse of a character who is larger
than life. He seldom prison for long, but he does
tend to steal his scenes, and his emergent fatherly relationship
with Shuri adds some much needed warmth to the film.

(38:35):
The lasting disappointment, not counting freakyfish Guy, who we have
thoroughly pervaporated by this point, has to be Reeary Williams
filling in the Hugo Chavez role of stock figure slash McGovern.
As we've said, both Macanda Forever and Multiverse of Madness
introduced new heroes as mere props or devices forgetting their
characters completely. Chaves and Williams make Kate Bishop's introduction in

(38:57):
Hawkeye seem like a masterful deployment by comparison of what
can be a creditable device introducing new heroes under the
egos of the old. The problem with the first two
of these is, again has pointed out on my second channel,
that they've been thrown into films with no capacity to
nurture them films where so much stuff is happening, where
so many people are present, where the stakes are so
incomprehensibly vast, and where the story makes no fucking sense whatsoever,

(39:21):
so that no time can actually be spent allowing these
new entrants to grow into their roles. I get that
the MCU needs to think about a refresh, about restocking
its roster, but its typical approach seems to be throwing
them into stories that don't especially need them, presumably in
a bit to fast forward their emergence beyond the first
introductory steps. This approach will come back to bite in

(39:42):
the medium term, because eventually these new characters will be
expected to play a much larger role, but we've been
denied the chance of any meaningful introduction to them. It's
not enough to say that the MCU now has important
female figureheads, because these figureheads are empty vessels, without character
or a relationship with the audience. Nobody gave shit when
Captain Carter died in Multiverse of Madness. Everyone gave a

(40:03):
shit when Captain America left the scene. Sex and gender
has nothing.

Speaker 1 (40:07):
To do with that.

Speaker 2 (40:08):
It has everything to do with character. Chavez and Williams
are no more fleshed out than Captain Carter was in
her Carrio, and we have no more reason to care
about them than we did about her. Finally, than a
meta observation, I get my political jibs in during the
course of these reviews. I like to think it's mostly
mean spirited, but it's all in a good fan They are,

(40:29):
in any case, almost exclusively reactionary jokes in their nature.
If there is political subtext or straightforward political text in
any film or TV show or work of literature, the
politics of same are fair game. Criticizing the injection of
politics is not in and of itself a positive political statement.
Criticizing force diversity or the sledgehammer to the face of
gender politics does not axiomatically make you a conservative, a Republican,

(40:52):
or even a right winger. I tend to think it
makes you merely a connoisseur of art for art's sake.
Whether this closing point strays a line into politicking of
my own, I'll let you be the judge it might
well do. I'm not going to run away from the
suggestion if you think that it does. But I think
it's important to say, and so say it I shall
The first Black Panther film was, as I said at

(41:14):
the top of the first video, deemed a cultural moment,
and I think from the reaction to it that it
would be churlish to deny that that is what it
amounted to. But not all cultural moments are good, and
not all the entailments of cultural moments are to be welcomed.
Wakanda as an entity as a premise, is an avowedly
political thing. Its formulation, its foundation, its relationship with the

(41:37):
wider world are implicit political statements off the back of
which a number of explicit political statements are often made.
I am more sympathetic to the notion of representation in
art than I think much of my audience is not
much more sympathetic to it, but I am a bit
more sympathetic to it. I think it is important, especially
to young people, that they are able to see on

(41:57):
screen or on the page, those who are.

Speaker 1 (41:59):
In the ineffable ways like them. That is not to say, as.

Speaker 2 (42:03):
Some people try it, to say that if you are
a white person looking at a black character, or a
black person looking at a white character, you can't sympathize
or empathize with them at all. It is though, to
say that there is something just a little bit extra
art in the Aritotelian conception performs a cathartic purpose. It's
a kind of blood letting for the emotions. You can lessen,
the very real psychological trials and tribulations, the fear that

(42:27):
comes from, for example, growing up gay or by or
as the one.

Speaker 1 (42:31):
Black kid in your class. If you have artistic outlets
depicting people who are just like.

Speaker 2 (42:35):
You, who go through the things you go through, and
have many of the same fears and doubts, and who
overcome them. It's all very well saying, well, black people
have blade, but it's not for anyone but you to
say which characters you resonate with, which means something to you,
which you love, whose stories you inhabit. So to the
extent young black kids watched the first Black Panther film

(42:56):
and felt empowered and inspired by it, so much the better.
But what matters is at least as much the ends
to which this inspiration is put and the baggage it
is or isn't attached to. There is a difference between
a personal attachment to a character and exclusionary attachment to
an ideal. The best examples of those inspirational characters of
the type I have said out above speak to you individually,

(43:19):
but their message is still universal. Anyone can love them
and be inspired by them in their own ways, and
your personal inspiration forms part of a much larger whole.
This is a way of bringing outcast peoples and groups
into the artistic society, emphasizing how each and every one
of us is an individual but fits into something greater
than ourselves, and showing the strength that results from alloying

(43:41):
ourselves as individuals to that grander place, purpose and sense
of belonging. Wakanda conceptually and has depicted both in the
First Black Panther and in Wakanda Forever is a different proposition.
One of the reasons it's so difficult to fit the
nation into the broader realm of the MCU is that
the philosophy underlies its depiction is one that is uneasy

(44:02):
and sometimes outright hostile to the very idea of universalism.
It's no coincidence that Black Panther comics have been turned
over to the kind of radical and exclusionary strand of
black separatist and Black nihilist thought, as represented by the
likes of Tannihisi coats. The films bear many of the
hallmarks of that strain of black intellectual thought as well.

(44:22):
The notion that Wakanda is only great because it never
assimilated or engaged with the outside world plays on the
anti colonialist myth that all was as heaven until white
western has showed up, bringing with them various strains of
original sin. Conceptually, Wakanda is a segregationist idyll leave us
alone and we will prosper. Our neighbors are poor because

(44:44):
they let you in. The fact that Wakanda's premise is
in an alarming number of ways indistinguishable from the presence
of apartheid South Africa is one of those things that
you're really not supposed to point out. The premise displays
a distinctive and unpleasant end of the chihotic, the fatalistic,
the avengeful, and the hypocritical.

Speaker 1 (45:04):
Hence the vast number of unanswerable questions about the place.

Speaker 2 (45:08):
Why, for example, to such a wealthy and powerful nation
not alleviate the suffering of its neighbours. Why does it
not cure diseases it alone contreat, provide food, it alone
can grow, empower its continent by the technology it alone
can produce. It's an example of the fictional playing notes
transposed from a real world ideology. Black Marxists, black separatists,

(45:28):
anti colonialists, and black supremacists in the real world and
almost exclusively in America, believe the world was destroyed by
the original sin of white Westerners and cannot account for
the fact that that same Western world has objectively done
more to alleviate poverty, starvation, and disease than the most
fervently anti imperialist and isolationist African nation ever could, including

(45:49):
those that were never colonized, which are invariably much poorer
and more destitute than those that were. This is an
ideological strain almost unique to African American intellectuals and their
white left wing supporters, and is born of their unique
and tragic history, which is indeed full of much injustice.
As wh Orden famously wrote, I and the public know

(46:10):
what all school children learn. Those to whom evil is
done do evil in return. But by clinging to this
creation myth, with its obsessive focus on original sin and
externalized injustice, it perpetuates its own condition. For all, the
history of Black America is full of tragedy.

Speaker 1 (46:27):
And torment.

Speaker 2 (46:27):
It is also full of liberation, affluent, education, fulfillment, and safety,
all of which must be overlooked in order to cling
to the Wakandan ideal that blacks must be separate to
be truly free. It's unpopular among the intellectual class when
you point this out, but America and Britain in particular
are the best places in the world to be black.
The total household wealth of African Americans exceeds the GDP

(46:50):
of every single African nation. Indeed, it exceeds the total
GDP of the vast majority of countries in the world.
As a whole, Americans are more free of crime, murder, discrimination,
and almost every other kind of injustice than minorities in
any part of Africa. Are attempting to externalize the source
of all your ills, as in various Bacanda's use of

(47:12):
the term colonizer to describe various white Americans, which I've
noticed bleeding into the real world as well, isn't always
consciously vindictive, but it all contributes to the myth that
black segregation is its pedal. The Bacanda itself was never colonized,
and no American alive today or was ever a colonizer
is proof of how lazy ideological frameworks bleed into art.

(47:32):
The term makes no sense in the context in which
it's deployed. It only makes sense out universe, in the
ears of an audience that is being told time and
again across so much media, like an incantation, that society
can be neatly divided into oppressed and oppressor, victim and victimizer,
colonizer and colonized. This is the reason Black Panther's cultural

(47:53):
moment is, I think, to be regretted. Many of its
underlying assumptions are toxic, Its messaging is exclusionary. An activist
ideals are snuck into the collective consciousness via the medium
of popular art. To say that this is just pop
culture is to miss the point. It's not just pop culture.
It is pop culture. If you think that there's a
hard divide between what you see on your screen and

(48:15):
what the audience will come to believe, you are flatly naive.
One of the permanent ironies of the activist class is
that by agitating along the lines they do, they tend
to increase the prevalence of the thing they are agitating against.
That's why messaging like this in films like Black Panther
are to be regretted. In Black Panther as a character,
though there was the prospect of redemption. Here was a

(48:39):
man of that place who suffered loss an injustice, who
embodies many of these unpleasant ideals, but who, like the
best heroes, transcends them finds a way to accommodate his
personal experiences in a wider world in a positive.

Speaker 1 (48:53):
And integrationist way.

Speaker 2 (48:55):
His opening up of a Canda at the close of
the first film didn't undo all the damage of its
man messaging, didn't let all the poison from the veins,
but it did at least offer a positive outcome and
ultimately inclusive message of mutual accommodation, understanding, and empowerment. I wonder, then,
if it isn't telling and in its own way symbolic,
that Wacanda forever lacked that sentiment, entirely returning to themes

(49:17):
of differentness and exclusion and distrust, and ending with a
theme of indigenous solidarity against what the film tacitly accepted
was a hostile world divided between us, the noble savages,
and them, the cynical western oppressors.

Speaker 1 (49:30):
It may then be that the greatest.

Speaker 2 (49:32):
Lost to culture bought by Chadwick Boseman's death was in
fact the death of his character and the death of
his symbol after all, And on that morose and foreboding note,
we have reached the end of this video. Next up
on this channel will either be Rings a Power Part three,

(49:52):
or say, black people, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to iron Heart.

Speaker 5 (50:02):
What you know you're girlfriend of? Right bigding games?

Speaker 6 (50:07):
Right?

Speaker 1 (50:07):
Um, right now?

Speaker 2 (50:09):
I don't think that's gonna getn't start here, No, no, no, no,
that's that's not how this kid, My dear, you've got
a Disney Plus mini series. You'll be lucky if you're
bigger than Agatha. I know they say it's good to dream,
but my job is to crush those dreams. Patriarchy is

(50:30):
my middle name. White supremacy is the name of the game,
et cetera. So let's begin. Iron Heart is a blissful
look back at peak twenty twenty two, marvel inexplicably judged

(50:54):
more deserving of a mini series than Rody who is
Armor War Show or possibly movie has been on hold
longer than your average call to the bank. Reary Williams
has been affirmatively actioned into both Wakanda Forever and now
her own show.

Speaker 1 (51:10):
We could have had more of this, but instead they've
decided to give us more of this.

Speaker 7 (51:23):
What can I say about this?

Speaker 1 (51:25):
It has already been saying about ever again estate.

Speaker 8 (51:28):
It looks bald and depleted, and of course the show
called beautiful.

Speaker 7 (51:34):
Why don't you click your heels together?

Speaker 1 (51:36):
Three towns and go back.

Speaker 7 (51:38):
To Africa.

Speaker 2 (51:47):
My Ironheart video as well. People are paid to make
these decisions and who are we to out them? In
Wacanada Forever, miss Williams distinguished herself for her ability to
make ludicrously important gadgets.

Speaker 1 (52:04):
And also murder policeman.

Speaker 2 (52:07):
She cooked up a vibranium detector no country on Earth
was able to make in about five minutes. She was
recruited by the Wacandons on good old ethno nationalist principles.
She created possibly the worst looking suit in the entire MCEU.

Speaker 1 (52:23):
With which she did mostly nothing.

Speaker 2 (52:26):
Then the Wacandons packed her off back to college and
they kept her suit because releasing it to the general
public would have been unspeakably embarrassing. And that's where we
join her here, some three years later than planned, because
the show was complete, and Disney was contractually obliged to
release it.

Speaker 1 (52:44):
So here we are any because.

Speaker 3 (52:47):
That can be the greatest invincment of my generation, which
doesn't mean much without the resources to bring my ideas
for life.

Speaker 8 (52:54):
Funny Stock was able to build this.

Speaker 6 (52:56):
In a cave straps.

Speaker 1 (53:01):
Much to learn you still have.

Speaker 2 (53:03):
Whether mis Williams will learn anything is, after a fashion,
the subject both of this video and the show, A
character beginning with hubris and jealousy blaming others for their
own shortcomings has conventionally been understood as the beginning of
a character arc. It's a flaw, and flaws are something

(53:23):
to be overcome. They make for good drama, modern marvel,
and modern storytelling generally has alas decided to exempt women minorities,
and especially women minorities from this rule. Rather too often
they're to be found complaining about cosmic injustice, and the
show or movie of which they are apart then spends

(53:44):
the remainder of its runt I am taking their side
and proving them right. They don't need to overcome, they
don't need to learn, they don't need to improve. They
were perfect from the beginning. Against the inevitable charge that
criticizing this show, like its many, is evidence of racism
and sexism and bigotry and all the rest. We give

(54:05):
a weary sigh and repeat what is by now an
exhausting but still essential rejoinder. No, you twat, go stick
your lady balls in a ceiling fan. This approach does
a disservice to the characters you claim you are supporting,
because it denies them meaningful stories, and so they're their
shot at popularity. Characters who are perfect and write about

(54:28):
everything are flat and tedious, and nobody likes them because
they're writers, and their fans think they are above the
careful storytelling and character crafting that went.

Speaker 1 (54:38):
Into older, more beloved heroes.

Speaker 2 (54:41):
It isn't that women are shit, it's that movies keep
giving us shit women. If you want miss Williams to
be as well regarded as Tony Stark, you have to
write her as well as Tony Stark was written. This
is the job facing iron Heart. To pull it off,
she must end by repudiating the center, and she has
just expressed.

Speaker 1 (55:01):
Let's see if they manage it.

Speaker 3 (55:03):
Do you think Tony Stark would be Tony Stark if
he wasn't a millionaire?

Speaker 1 (55:07):
No shade that's just the way the world works. No,
it isn't, and yes he would. No, please, please please.

Speaker 2 (55:15):
If you don't understand, the thesis is all I have
and nothing without this suit.

Speaker 1 (55:19):
If you're nothing without this suit, then you should know.

Speaker 2 (55:22):
It was quite an important part of several movies. Don't
get me wrong, it's early days. I mean, fuck it,
it's early seconds. But miss Williams now has two glaring
faults that must be corrected over the course of this show,
ego and stupidity. We've covered the ego point, so now
for stupid. Tony Stark is a public figure. Tony Stark

(55:43):
is probably the most public figure in the entire MCU.
His story is well known in universe, not least because
he saved the universe.

Speaker 1 (55:53):
To persist.

Speaker 2 (55:54):
In the belief just now expressed, Miss Williams has to
have neither read, watched herd, nor thought about Earth's most
beloved and recognizable hero, which is very silly, given he's
the focus of her aspirations. I know Harvard was recently
sued for admitting people who can neither read or think.
Ironheart confirms mit is at it as well, and the

(56:17):
AI from my protestype already cost millions of dollars, which
clearly I don't have.

Speaker 3 (56:22):
So yeah, my means of fundraising have been a little experimental.

Speaker 2 (56:27):
Okay, so she's an ego maniac, she's thick and she steals.

Speaker 1 (56:32):
What a terrific character.

Speaker 2 (56:33):
And we have to go along with the idea that
a kid on good terms with the wrecandons who's able
to build Stark level tech in her spare time has
not been snapped up by either the private or the
public sector.

Speaker 1 (56:47):
There's just no money in AI. Yes see fucking clown show.
But without real money.

Speaker 3 (56:53):
I got your creative mandic goes beyond rules and red tape.

Speaker 1 (56:56):
I want to continue.

Speaker 3 (56:57):
Mister Stark's legacy and revolutionary safety.

Speaker 2 (57:00):
Revolutionizing safety is just about the least sexy phrase you
can utter, unless you're a bureaucrat, in which case you
have a whole deep skill tree of unsexy utterances to
draw upon.

Speaker 1 (57:12):
But it's designed to tell us that.

Speaker 2 (57:13):
Even though miss Williams is a stupid, egomaniacal thief, she
is in fact really honestly, guys, she's good people. You see,
she does all of these things for the right reasons.

Speaker 3 (57:25):
Massives would shorten the response time of first responders, firefighters,
cutil rescue teams, et cetera.

Speaker 1 (57:31):
Working on this level of innovation is not come without reasons.
She's such good people, but to be good people, she
must sometimes do dumb, egomaniacal.

Speaker 2 (57:41):
Thievery because nobody will pay her for her AI driven
doctor suits with the capacity to save millions of lives.
Miss Williams risk taking Lancer in trouble with the university authorities,
which we are told is a common occurrence, and the
world is once again sacrificed for what this show can say.

Speaker 1 (58:00):
It is a character establishment scene.

Speaker 2 (58:02):
Miss Williams is scolded for having spent four years at
MIT while making no progress toward a degree.

Speaker 1 (58:09):
Do respecting joy, what do I get out a matriculation?

Speaker 9 (58:12):
Some job in pallow also with a tiny window and
a bunch of guys after Briton alike, As if.

Speaker 2 (58:17):
You wouldn't already have been lifted straight out of MIT
and made one of the best paid geniuses in all
Silicon Valley. Apparently it hasn't occurred to Miss Williams that
she has an instant solution to her inexplicable money problems.
But you know what a path forward might be emerging
She begins as a self obsessed, naive moron who is

(58:38):
somehow hella smart but also functionally written. Over the course
of the show, she learns that opposition to the system
for its own sake is infantile nonsense, and she stops
self sabotaging. She learns responsibility and teamwork, and she winds
up lending her skills to those best able to make
use of them.

Speaker 1 (58:57):
That would be a journey.

Speaker 2 (58:58):
And while that journey probably wouldn't fix the many problems
we have already identified, it would go a very long
way to redeeming them and making re re William something
like a character.

Speaker 1 (59:11):
I want to build something undeniable.

Speaker 3 (59:13):
I'm a real life scientific epiphanies want me to be small,
but I refuse.

Speaker 1 (59:18):
For now though.

Speaker 2 (59:19):
She's just insufferable, and if the past is any guide
to the future, this is how she's going to remain
while the entire universe nods sympathetically at her grievances.

Speaker 10 (59:31):
Trash and you know it. Who here ask you to
be small? It's not a hetorical question. I brought you
here because the field would have devoured fifteen year old you,
so we tail it a course of study to your needs.
And I work hard to get qualified people like us
into seats here, but you're making it impossible.

Speaker 1 (59:47):
Not for nothing.

Speaker 2 (59:47):
But if you ask a question and you don't wait
for the answer, it's kind of a rhetorical question.

Speaker 1 (59:53):
Love. Also, what do you mean people like us?

Speaker 2 (59:56):
Are you also a super genius inventor or do you
perhaps have something more identitarian in mind? I think she
might have something a bit more identitarian in mind. She's
playing nice cup, you see, because miss Williams is people
like us, whatever that might mean.

Speaker 1 (01:00:14):
Which is why she only gets a mile.

Speaker 2 (01:00:16):
Taking off for selling coursework to other students for pocket money.

Speaker 1 (01:00:20):
Rather than selling her fucking AI to Google.

Speaker 2 (01:00:23):
Also in the room, though, is a white man, and
the white man is not people like us, and this
makes him a dick.

Speaker 11 (01:00:32):
Quite frankly, you have been a horrible steward of Stark's legacy.

Speaker 2 (01:00:37):
Who even appointed her the steward of Stark's legacy to
begin with? I get this is something the show wants
it to be, but why would anyone in universe hand
out that title to a random criminal? Will be told
later that she was the beneficiary of something called the
Stark Fellowship because the September.

Speaker 1 (01:00:55):
Foundation Grand has just been memory houled.

Speaker 2 (01:00:58):
We don't watch older Marvel film, you know, we don't
actually know how this used to work. But it's not
at all clear to me why she would have been
left to matriculate in MIT rather than being taken straight
to work at stock industry is given how everybody acknowledges
her immense skill set and intelligence.

Speaker 10 (01:01:15):
MIT has a zero tolerance policy on plagiarism.

Speaker 1 (01:01:19):
Well, I'm evidently not.

Speaker 10 (01:01:21):
Given your history here in the financial impact of yesterday's accident,
it's too late, you're swelling me.

Speaker 2 (01:01:27):
Ah, Yes, the financial impact of frying a couple of
fuse boards is too great for MIT to cope with
no customed super AI and a bunch of iron man
zuits couldn't possibly offset the financial damage done by frying fuses.

Speaker 1 (01:01:43):
What even is the fuck?

Speaker 2 (01:01:48):
Nah, she's got no choice but to steal guys, speaking
of which.

Speaker 1 (01:01:55):
You trying to make sure she isn't, as I.

Speaker 5 (01:01:58):
Would never she felt that.

Speaker 1 (01:02:02):
Here I go stealing again.

Speaker 2 (01:02:04):
I do like that the guards there to stop their
stealing things were too busy telling a random stranger that
their job is to stop their stealing things to actually
stop her from stealing things.

Speaker 1 (01:02:18):
Oh my gosh, he's just so cool.

Speaker 2 (01:02:21):
Via some attempted humor with the suit's ai.

Speaker 11 (01:02:24):
To take.

Speaker 1 (01:02:27):
Another location, Chicago.

Speaker 5 (01:02:28):
Chicago is an American.

Speaker 1 (01:02:31):
Funny funny show.

Speaker 2 (01:02:33):
Via that attempted humor, Miss Williams flies home to Chicago, Illinois,
and we hop away to join some more thieves. Oh wait,
well no, I'm sorry that said. I misspoke. No, we
hop away to join some urban robin hoods, which is
honestly one of the best euphemisms I've ever heard. I
would have been proud to make that up, but I

(01:02:54):
also would have done it with ill intent.

Speaker 1 (01:02:56):
It's one of those irregular verbs.

Speaker 2 (01:02:58):
You see, I an urban robin hood, you are looting
those air Jordans. The urban robin Hoods are led somehow
by a character called Slug, who's one of those fancy
dress types that Russell T. Davis hires to ruin doctor
who The Urban robin Hoods are currently being let down
by one of their number.

Speaker 1 (01:03:18):
Whose name is Stuart.

Speaker 7 (01:03:20):
Stuart, my guy, what is the holder?

Speaker 1 (01:03:24):
This is Slug.

Speaker 2 (01:03:25):
You're probably going to be seeing clips of Slug all
over YouTube for the next few weeks, because obviously you are.
People will be very nice about Slug and.

Speaker 1 (01:03:35):
As will absolutely not spend ten four minutes of his
video laughing at him or her.

Speaker 2 (01:03:41):
Nobody will make any crude or off color or istaphobic
jokes about Slug, So let.

Speaker 1 (01:03:47):
Me be the first and only person to do a
hate speech.

Speaker 2 (01:03:51):
What do you call a Slug wearing a pair of
vans a Kamper van zing the urban robin hoods? I know,
forget it sounds so rare, but it's not my line.
They are looting some evil Richmond's house. But because Stuart
is useless and alarm goes off, this gives us our
first thrilling, high octane action set piece, and Slug is

(01:04:13):
just so very invested in the whole affair.

Speaker 7 (01:04:16):
The alarm such at a single black.

Speaker 2 (01:04:18):
The tension is positively impalpable. That follows a completely baffling
cut that I'm pretty damn sure was supposed to have
a scene in the middle of it.

Speaker 7 (01:04:28):
Slugs an attentional kick abord in this mill?

Speaker 2 (01:04:34):
Could we not afford to show them escaping? What happened
to the fight in the mansion? Slug just told us
the cops were on their way. How did they get
everybody out of the mansion and into the van and
escape the cops. Why didn't we just see them redecorating
the van before driving off, so we could at least
have inferred they escaped in disguise.

Speaker 1 (01:04:55):
How is this the show? Didn't you have time to
finish it?

Speaker 2 (01:04:59):
The Urban rob Hoods returned the van to some guy
who I guess will be relevant later, but who isn't
at all relevant at this time. This scene is here
because they need to cross paths with iron Heart, and
that is literally it. Words are exchanged, but nothing is said.
Then they hear the insufferable music.

Speaker 12 (01:05:17):
Any hardware for this one, Bro, We're gonna find someone
in the next couple of days.

Speaker 1 (01:05:22):
And look, what's that in the sky? Is it a bird?
Is it a plane?

Speaker 2 (01:05:27):
No, it's a woman in stem Tell them to meet
me in my mask. Now I'm just imagining Professor X
rolling up the hood. The people genuinely pronounce it Exavier
in relation to any other person. It's Javier or Javier
or Javier or Javier. I thought the ex in Exavier

(01:05:49):
was unique to the Professor. Oh hello, yeah, I mean
I agree. He really should have been In the end.
This is supposed to be a tense affair life for
death stuff as the suit begins to disintegrate whilst moving
at high speed. But it isn't It's none of these
things because Reary Williams doesn't really do acting, and the

(01:06:12):
fucking music still thinks it's cool.

Speaker 1 (01:06:14):
Shit. I clapped when I saw that, what what? When
I saw the name what? I clapped what? I saw
the name of the thing when she crashed on the pavement,
and it made the name of the thing appear in
the fuck it's a new one.

Speaker 2 (01:06:34):
For some reason, Miss Williams walks through the streets carrying
her ruined suit, and a small urban robin Hood offers.

Speaker 1 (01:06:40):
To help her. So now there's a child in the show.

Speaker 9 (01:06:44):
What does your Mama call you?

Speaker 1 (01:06:46):
Really?

Speaker 7 (01:06:46):
Willis?

Speaker 2 (01:06:50):
Because that is terrible and this I don't know what
this is supposed to be, but it's in the show.
So there's, you know, there's that really goes to visit
her mother and her sassy friends, one of whom deals Crystal.

Speaker 10 (01:07:07):
Which Crystal is the wise as is who they kicked
out of school, Black.

Speaker 1 (01:07:11):
Obsidianc Doc what I did there?

Speaker 2 (01:07:15):
We're fifteen minutes into episode one and we're already a
deaf con pun a bribe the janitor.

Speaker 5 (01:07:22):
There your first week to look out for you.

Speaker 1 (01:07:24):
We keep in touch.

Speaker 2 (01:07:25):
That's funny because where I come from, you know, people
just phone each other.

Speaker 3 (01:07:30):
Oh really, Black Obsidian is also really good to have
in times of grief.

Speaker 2 (01:07:35):
I don't know what problem we're trying to solve by
having this woman here, but I really do think we
should have started with more basic fundamental problems, like you know,
put character, world building, theme and such. We could have
maybe done something with those before we moved on to
comedic beats involving healing crystals. Sorry, black people, fucking h

(01:07:58):
it's a line. It's in the show, so it's it's
glorious exactly.

Speaker 1 (01:08:04):
He's Friday Night. I just sometimes wonder, you know, whether
I'm living in a simulation and is running out of
ram What just happened?

Speaker 2 (01:08:14):
Why is this the way the show is? What's even happening?
What we've just had is a succession of scenes that
are there to say, and apparently to say, only, Hey,
look these are people. These people are in the show.
Maybe they'll be relevant later, maybe they won't. Isn't the
suspense wonderful? The heist that heisted nothing and went nowhere.

(01:08:37):
A leader of the urban robin hoods who says thanks
for the heist of whatever it was.

Speaker 1 (01:08:42):
Oh look up there.

Speaker 2 (01:08:44):
The crash landing that introduced us to the child, the
family reunion scene, which was mostly a Nutter rambling about
her crystals before she got interrupted by hey, black people.

Speaker 1 (01:08:56):
Now, whoever the fuck this guy is? I think this
is Xavier.

Speaker 2 (01:08:59):
However they were the fuck long later, so many people,
and I know absolutely nothing about any of them. This
scene here could have been the first and only scene
after the crash landing.

Speaker 1 (01:09:11):
Have re read not go home.

Speaker 2 (01:09:13):
Because she can't face her mother, feature of the mother
in dialogue between these two in this scene, So we're
learning about her by one remove thereby accomplishing multiple things
in a single scene.

Speaker 1 (01:09:26):
Have characters say.

Speaker 2 (01:09:28):
Things that mean more than buymer crystal and a black people.

Speaker 13 (01:09:33):
So our girls supposed to be at the clubs trying
to get some drinks free, but you re read Williams
are making in a where's.

Speaker 1 (01:09:42):
The camera going? Why are we off over here now?
But you are making in iron soup? People are obsessed
with them? Are they though?

Speaker 2 (01:09:52):
Because you know, you'd think if they were, there'd be
more of them around. What happened to justin Hammer in
the end? Why can't he have his own show?

Speaker 1 (01:09:59):
He was good. I liked Hammer.

Speaker 10 (01:10:01):
I could go a thousand other things and no one looking.

Speaker 1 (01:10:04):
But if I had to be one of them, better
than everyone else, people don't not trust.

Speaker 2 (01:10:08):
But to resrectly, which is funny because real here is
basically just Hammer without the Riz or whatever incredibly stupid
people say these days.

Speaker 1 (01:10:17):
The motive is essentially the same.

Speaker 2 (01:10:19):
The suit is a means to an end, and the
end is a claim and a satisfied ego.

Speaker 1 (01:10:24):
Smarter ar, stronger arm. You want to stick around Chicago
a building?

Speaker 2 (01:10:29):
No, if I wanted something made in Chicago, I'd go
back to the nineteen fifties. Really tells Xavier that she
needs a job that pays, by which she inevitably means
in due course petty theft, and she gives her reasoning.
She gives her reasoning, and I really don't mean to
be insensitive, but I don't speak whatever language this is

(01:10:52):
lib so massive.

Speaker 3 (01:10:53):
Note of partness or resource here it is.

Speaker 2 (01:10:55):
She further complains that everything around here seems small, and
notwithstanding the Batwoman caliber writing and the rest of the show,
this does give me a teeny tiny little bit of
confidence on the character side.

Speaker 1 (01:11:09):
Of things.

Speaker 2 (01:11:10):
Obviously, the show isn't going to let her get away
with dismissing her hometown and its people because it likes them,
so by extension, it means she's probably going to have
at least a little bit of an awakening later on. Right,
she'll come to see that the value in seemingly small
things far out weighs the glitz and the glamor she

(01:11:32):
was searching for. Probably maybe, I mean, it might just
be wished thinking on my part, but it could happen anyway.
This part of the chat over, they drive off to
see a mural for some poor deadens, because stereotypes are
bad except when we do it. One of these deadens
is the girlfriend from the prolague, and the other is

(01:11:54):
some guy we've never met before who I guess was
Rary's father.

Speaker 1 (01:11:59):
And to compens for the fact we.

Speaker 2 (01:12:01):
Know nothing about our protagonist except that she is a narcissist,
we get a quick flashback montage while best friend guy
exit I think his name is Xavier, but I'm not
completely sure.

Speaker 1 (01:12:13):
He tells us how lovely father was.

Speaker 2 (01:12:16):
Possibly Xavier tells us that dead and dad used to
spend all his time working on a thing, and he
gave that thing to re rely but re resays she
doesn't have it anymore because she sold it for money
to build her suit.

Speaker 1 (01:12:31):
I sold it for money.

Speaker 5 (01:12:33):
She built that with her own money.

Speaker 14 (01:12:35):
I gave that right.

Speaker 2 (01:12:37):
I remain utterly confused about who paid for what, but
I'm morally certain that stealing is the only solution.

Speaker 1 (01:12:45):
Sorry, I wasn't there at night. Everything happy.

Speaker 2 (01:12:48):
We're at the point where obvious bathe lines are worthy
of praise because they at least show a partial understanding
of the most basic components in writing. In many other shows,
this would start out as a pretty jankie line, because
it is quite obviously saying to the audience, Mmmm, a
bad thing happened. Aren't you interested in what the bad

(01:13:10):
thing was and why it made re Rease such an
unlikable bitch? But in this show, it constitutes the first
hint that re re might have a bit of depth
to her character, and it stopped short of, as you know,
exposition like I'm sorry I wasn't there that night when
your father got shot by a racist policeman. Probably it

(01:13:30):
understands that mystery can be a useful tool, and given
there's been absolutely nothing else to latch onto it does
a serviceable job. Probably Xavier says he made re Re
a mixtape, and he hands her a Walkman with some headphones,
because apparently it's still the nineteen eighties in Chicago. This
is another of those scenes that exists solely to say

(01:13:53):
this will be relevant later, and if I had to guess,
it means that probably Xavier is going to diet at
some point in the near future, and a sad re
Re will lie down in her bed and listen to
it and be sad because she's realized that her selfish
actions have had terrible consequences for other people.

Speaker 1 (01:14:11):
This would be an incredibly.

Speaker 2 (01:14:13):
Generic bit, and it might still be too much to
ask of this show. This show might do something crazy
like have the Walkman feature the voice of the dead friend,
which prompts a dream which prompts Reread to accidentally create
an AI of her dead friend.

Speaker 1 (01:14:28):
You know, we'll get there in due course.

Speaker 2 (01:14:30):
The points I'm making is you don't typically have friendly
characters pop up pretty much devoid of context and say
I made you this object of sentimental value, unless you're
going to use that as a cheap payoff later.

Speaker 1 (01:14:44):
Do please watch this space rather than the show the.

Speaker 2 (01:14:47):
Next day, probably Xavier is back and he and re
Re are hunting through scrap metal for Pats.

Speaker 1 (01:14:54):
This isn't an efficient use of our time because probably
Xavier's immediate reappearance kind of rubs the previous scene of
some of its dramatic weight, and a title show might
have instead look to combine these two sequences into one,
thus saving itself time for other things. This will help all.

Speaker 5 (01:15:12):
The hardware, but I'm still gotta figure out my AI.

Speaker 2 (01:15:15):
I do not think your community has the tools to
let you work on AI. AI isn't just a thing
you can whip up in a garage, you know. For
all the MCU seems to forget this whenever re Rey
Williams is involved. It actually requires immense amounts of processing power,
data centers, deep learning models, and that's just to create

(01:15:36):
a gooner, bit chatbot anime girl. Lacking all of these things,
re really goes to visit a chap called Jim, whose job,
like Robably Xaviers earlier, is principally to invent a character.

Speaker 1 (01:15:49):
History for re Re. On the fly a little girl,
I am nine ten.

Speaker 7 (01:15:54):
You used to come in here and hengle with me.

Speaker 1 (01:15:58):
You always were with that best friend of your song?
What was her name? And Natalie?

Speaker 2 (01:16:05):
Hello, protagonist, I am old friend. Do you remember how
we knew each other when you were younger and you
used to come and hang out with me, That is,
when you weren't hanging around with that other person who
was your best friend. It's just that, but delivered with
an accent that I'm not going to attempt to mimic,
because I guess that would be racist. Re Rey has

(01:16:26):
come here to ask for a paid job, but before
she can get the words out, she is interrupted by
a new character.

Speaker 1 (01:16:34):
You're joking? Not another one? Oh, for God's sake, I can't. Honestly,
I can't stand this. Yep, another one? Are you keeping up?

Speaker 2 (01:16:44):
We've had really obviously, we've had dead best friend, she's
called Natalie. We've had kind diverse professor. We've had evil
white professor. We've had Slug. We've had Stuart. We've had
the rest of the urban robin hoods. We've had mother,
we've had Christian Deal, we've had small child.

Speaker 1 (01:17:02):
We've had implied leader of the Urban robin Hoods. We've
had Jim.

Speaker 2 (01:17:05):
We've had new best friend, probably Xavier.

Speaker 1 (01:17:08):
We've had dead dads.

Speaker 2 (01:17:10):
We've had probably some others that I've already forgotten.

Speaker 1 (01:17:13):
And now we have this guy.

Speaker 2 (01:17:15):
I genuinely don't know most of their names, and that's
because they've all been introduced within a span of about
twenty minutes, and I don't even remember people I like
if they all come at me at once. I'm beginning
to get the impression that this is a very, very
unwieldy show. New guy pays for whatever it is re
Re and Trend were presumably buying earlier, which I'm quite

(01:17:37):
sure is the last time any character in Ironheart will
pay for anything that they take.

Speaker 1 (01:17:42):
And then he joins in the.

Speaker 2 (01:17:44):
Fun old protagonist backstory exposition extravagancer that every other poor
fuck has been roped into already.

Speaker 12 (01:17:52):
A couple of years ago, could not open the low
possession of the trip in nassier story on her finished
ninth grader Lea's alone start at fifteen, and this is
here you shop.

Speaker 15 (01:18:04):
Or grown up.

Speaker 1 (01:18:05):
We already know she's a genius child prodigy. Damn.

Speaker 2 (01:18:08):
Near every scene has told us that either tell us
something we don't know, or tell us something about somebody else,
because we don't know anything about anyone else.

Speaker 1 (01:18:20):
And at this point.

Speaker 2 (01:18:21):
Frankly, anyone else is more interesting than re Ree. Out
on the Verandah new guy asks why re Rely isn't
working for Stark Industries. It is a very good question.
There is no satisfactory answer.

Speaker 1 (01:18:34):
How come we're not.

Speaker 12 (01:18:34):
We're gonna like, I don't know Stark Industries or something.

Speaker 3 (01:18:38):
And he contributed immensely to the fields, so I won't
roast Tony Stark.

Speaker 2 (01:18:42):
Offer it, and thanks for confirming you know as much
about this guy as we do, which is to say, naffle.
But what do you mean you won't roast Tony Stark.
I wouldn't be in the least bit surprised if his
foundation funded your education, you ungrateful cow.

Speaker 3 (01:18:59):
I'll have a billion and I can't compete without resources.

Speaker 16 (01:19:04):
I know, I know.

Speaker 2 (01:19:05):
The fuckery has gone in through the eye hole and
straight to the brain. You guys, says he couldn't tack
it in gainful employment either, and he invites it to
meet another guy at a pizza pala. This means that yes,
all the governments, all the intelligence services, all the private
companies in all the world are entirely disinterested in this

(01:19:26):
super genius.

Speaker 1 (01:19:27):
But random urban robinhood is no they'll snap her right.

Speaker 2 (01:19:31):
Up, and this takes us to the elevator scene from
one of the trailers.

Speaker 1 (01:19:35):
The elevators stop.

Speaker 2 (01:19:36):
Saying, mysterious timer goes our vans, smoke starts venging from
a device welcome in.

Speaker 17 (01:19:43):
Less than three minutes.

Speaker 2 (01:19:48):
Oh good, it's that sore sequel that nobody wanted. I
hope she fucking dies. It should be illegal, yes, but
it's currently streaming on Disney Plus.

Speaker 1 (01:19:58):
Ms Williams's task is.

Speaker 2 (01:20:00):
To break into a thing on the floor to retrieve
a gasmask, and she has to do this within three
minutes or else she'll suffocate and die.

Speaker 1 (01:20:07):
It is quite literally a ticking clock.

Speaker 2 (01:20:10):
Scenario, and the conventional use for a ticking clock scenario
is to plant stakes and drum up tension. Ideally, we
give a shit about the character who's in danger, which
is unfortunate because Miss Williams is about as endearing as
a colonoscopy. But we don't get any time to feel
anything either way.

Speaker 1 (01:20:28):
Because the writers have chosen to break another rule, the
mystery component.

Speaker 2 (01:20:33):
We can already be quite sure that the mysterious stranger
from earlier is involved, since he's the one who invited
her here, but we don't know why or for whom,
and we don't know how dangerous he is. That level
of mystery might have sufficed to make this elevator scene better,
but the writers don't think that's the case, and so

(01:20:53):
we get cutaways to the people watching it all unfold.

Speaker 9 (01:20:58):
Okay, totally, I became warrior Vibs for this one.

Speaker 11 (01:21:02):
What's perhaps, lads and gals, it is I the weekend Warrior,
once again gracing you with my presence.

Speaker 1 (01:21:09):
Poor weekend Warrior, Leave the guy alone.

Speaker 2 (01:21:11):
He's not part of your phag rabatic society sweats.

Speaker 1 (01:21:14):
Almost as much as used to. It's rampage.

Speaker 2 (01:21:20):
Apparently this guy this is rampage. We probably could have
kept this group's whole introduction until after this sequence, to
symbolize miss Williams entering a new and more dangerous world,
with each of them seemingly threatening and aloof, until over
time she comes to know them better, and we learn
about them and come to sympathize with them alongside her.

(01:21:42):
The problem is that we've already seen them, so we
already know that they are an insane clown party, and
so this entire bit.

Speaker 1 (01:21:49):
Has no weight whatsoever. What are we doing here? Her?
Thing is supposed to be that she's super smart.

Speaker 2 (01:22:01):
She can make Iron Man suits and ais I think
an iron Man's suit is a bit harder to figure
out than anything.

Speaker 1 (01:22:08):
In that elevator.

Speaker 2 (01:22:09):
So why is she brute forcing her way out when
she's not a strength Classary Williams was a genius.

Speaker 7 (01:22:16):
But I said to myself, Parker, you ar meet this
kid up close.

Speaker 2 (01:22:21):
This man is Parker Robins, otherwise known as the Hood.
I prefer the Hood from Thunderbirds because he's more menacing.

Speaker 1 (01:22:29):
And he has a greater dramatic range.

Speaker 18 (01:22:31):
At last, I have the information I require, and now the.

Speaker 19 (01:22:37):
Secrets are international rescue.

Speaker 7 (01:22:47):
What I don't believe it?

Speaker 1 (01:22:54):
You know, Jo bit thus you really lucky? Re Re
asks him why he did all that? The Hood says
that doesn't matter.

Speaker 2 (01:23:08):
What matters is I heard you were a genius, and
now I've seen you not use your genius to escape
my little trap. So join me and together we can
rule the galaxy as dumber and clunge you b Storre's.

Speaker 3 (01:23:21):
Time, Oh a Stuart Stuart Clark let the or X
fellow at Rampage on a tech Maker's Discord.

Speaker 2 (01:23:30):
I don't understand what any of those words mean, but
I'm pretty sure lots of people are very happy. Comics
Rampage was a sometimes supervillain, sometime homeless guy with exocuites
and vengeance, and his only friend in life was the
fucking Punisher. All that sounds incredibly dull, I'm sure you'll agree,
so having him instead be a sweaty nerd with an

(01:23:52):
afro who is renowned on a Discord server is obviously
an upgrade.

Speaker 1 (01:23:56):
Well done, writers, You've ft up.

Speaker 20 (01:24:00):
Yocre folks taking your spot, mediocre institutions, rejecting your genius.

Speaker 2 (01:24:04):
Who which mediocre person has taken what spot from her?
The girls at Discount Dei Tony Stark, she is mediocre.
She is the mediast of all the ocres, and.

Speaker 1 (01:24:16):
She was somehow given grant money in a fellowship and
an unlimited stay at MIT. When's your giant chip, Lady.

Speaker 20 (01:24:24):
Making yourself so smart of Pitsidel's awkward box as they
put you.

Speaker 2 (01:24:28):
No, she put herself in it. She made the suit,
she stole the suit. This is very much her problem.

Speaker 1 (01:24:35):
When you're ready for the respect and the money you deserve,
come work.

Speaker 2 (01:24:41):
For me or Google. I'm just putting it out there.
Google has a lot of money, and it pays pretty well.
I really don't know why you haven't considered Google. Google
does evil shit all the time. You'd fit right in,
says naw e'in out. And the Hood says, essentially, what's
the going rate for genius prostitutes these days? And he

(01:25:01):
pulls out a small box full of cash. This quite
clearly turns Miss Williams on, and she pulls a face
that says, oh shucks, I'm gonna be a whore. The
Hood says she'll get paid even more if she gives
them three jar I mean, if she does the next
three jobs for them, jobs that will quite obviously be illegal,

(01:25:22):
which Miss Williams will quite obviously give not one solitary
shit about, because she is such good people.

Speaker 5 (01:25:29):
Look, I don't want to hurt anyone.

Speaker 1 (01:25:30):
I don't believe you. Believe it or not, Jim right away,
Black lives good, Blue lives bad. I guess, okay, so
what do you do? Theft, extortion, breaking an enery.

Speaker 2 (01:25:45):
We must be working on a very very very specific
definition of hurt for none of these things to count.

Speaker 5 (01:25:53):
Why.

Speaker 20 (01:25:53):
I'm sure you have a good reason why you do
what you do, and I have rhythm.

Speaker 2 (01:25:57):
Out God, we're doing a lot of damage to Miss
Williams here. The Hood isn't yet a character, and if
the show wants us to sympathize with him in any way,
I've not yet detected an appeal. But for Really to
go along with this, asking no questions, not knowing the
reason why, not knowing the moral justification or the end goal,
then she is at best psychopathically a moral What has

(01:26:21):
essentially happened here is that the Hood has said, hey,
let's go looting and pillaging.

Speaker 1 (01:26:27):
That's how he sounds. Then Really said why.

Speaker 2 (01:26:30):
Then the Hood said it doesn't matter because money and
the prospect of money is so alluring. That re returned
into the Niagara Falls, and she said, yes, sloppily.

Speaker 20 (01:26:43):
Now you could try to get this cash out there,
but you already know what it's going to come with
red tape, delays, the strings attached. Join me, and I
will give you the tools to help you carry out
your vision. He said, you went around.

Speaker 2 (01:27:03):
Hano I think I hate you, really, and I don't
hate a lot of people. I reserve that level of
animosity for the only class of person as keen on
stealing things as you are.

Speaker 1 (01:27:17):
They're called the government the whod says.

Speaker 2 (01:27:19):
It'll definitely be worth it, but they're going to need
her iron Heart suit fully repaired and ready for the
first mission, which takes place tomorrow.

Speaker 1 (01:27:27):
Rerely goes home to build.

Speaker 2 (01:27:29):
It from a box of scraps because symbolism. While she works,
and this is such a slow process that I do
not believe she can possibly do it in the time
A loted she listens to that mixtape that Xavier gave her,
and it contains an audio log from her dead sister Natalie,
which means we get a bunch more flashbacks, or a

(01:27:50):
bunch more of the same stuff we've already seen in
case we'd missed the fact that dead sister Natalie meant
a lot to Really, I'm not entirely clear, by the way,
if she is sister biologically or sister in like the
slang you're my best friend from the hood sense. It
could be either, could be neither. I don't care. It
doesn't make a difference. The show is not confident that

(01:28:12):
every other flashback sequence has sufficiently established re rean sister's relationship,
so this beat is here to smash you in the
face with the brick of subtlety. This one extends into
a scene that makes you wonder whether her dad being
dead might be partly her fault, as she lectures him
he is a mechanic on how to do his job.

(01:28:32):
I literally get you from anywhere to swap it.

Speaker 1 (01:28:35):
Okay, but Jamie and Alice one cylinder here.

Speaker 10 (01:28:38):
Can literally get you anywhere from ten to over fifty
php extra.

Speaker 2 (01:28:43):
Maybe he's not dead, Maybe he just left because you're
a cow anyway. Having established once again that she is
a genius, the happy memory takes a turn for the
worst as sounds of gunfire and shouting errupt and the
frame rate drops.

Speaker 1 (01:28:57):
To sydnevide drama.

Speaker 2 (01:28:59):
Re retakes off the headphones before the urban Robin Hood's
or the police, whoever it is, murder her father and
probably also Natalie is being our allotted five minutes for
character work. Ree Rey and her mother then have a
fight about the terrible state that her mother left the
garage in.

Speaker 1 (01:29:16):
Very little is actually expressed here.

Speaker 2 (01:29:19):
Her mother says she didn't know, re recred about the garage,
re retries to guilt trip her because she's good people,
so now it's my.

Speaker 9 (01:29:27):
Fault that she let Gary's dream die.

Speaker 2 (01:29:30):
Her mother attempts to de escalate, and then an interesting
thing occurs. Quite clearly, re Re said something incredibly hurtful
in response. You can tell that from the door slam
and from the shocked and hurt look on her mother's face.

Speaker 1 (01:29:45):
But what seems to have happened.

Speaker 2 (01:29:47):
Is that the writers decided whatever re Re said took
things too far, made her seem like an unlikable bitch,
perish the thought, So they swapped out whatever the line was,
and they atey Guard in an incredibly generic response that
doesn't explain the mother's reaction. And I wonder what she

(01:30:11):
said originally Actually forget, I don't That was just me
rhetorically wondering. It's ironheart, I don't give a fuck over
with the Urban Robin Hoods, the Hood chats to one
of his incredibly generic fellow lagoons and weeklean a that
they are about to Urban Robin Hood someone called Sheila
b that this three mission plan has an ulterior motive,

(01:30:32):
which is to draw them out whoever they are, and
see that the Hood really really needs to get those
tattoos looked at because they seem to be infected. Then
we hop back to re Rey, who now isn't in
her room, at all. She's returned to fixing her suit,
which makes me think now that the.

Speaker 1 (01:30:52):
Entire mixtape scene was added after the fact because it
doesn't fit at all.

Speaker 2 (01:30:56):
There are parallel manufacturing scenes occurring re rebuilding her suit
and generic goon doing something to the Hood's tattoos. We
went from manufacturing scene A to mixtape scene D, to
parallel manufacturing scene B, back to manufacturing scene A.

Speaker 1 (01:31:15):
I don't know why they did this.

Speaker 2 (01:31:17):
I don't know why they didn't have the mixtape scene
after the manufacturing beats. Providing a bit of bathos and
intrigue to end the episode with almost makes you think
like they're totally fucking incompetent re resodfix, which she seems
to accomplish by connecting her galaxy sized brain directly to
her computer, requires four hours to complete, which will probably

(01:31:39):
be relevant in a future episode, as will the smelling
salts she conspicuously picked up for no particular reason. I
think I do detect me some Chekhov smelling salts. We
see then that the Hood seems to have Urban robinhooded
Doctor Stranger's from somewhere, So that's mysterious, and it means

(01:32:03):
that the Hood is probably magic, we get even more
dead sister flashbacks, re refalls asleep, and then she is
woken up by.

Speaker 6 (01:32:17):
Kill I.

Speaker 2 (01:32:18):
So, just to get this straight, she connected her brain
to her laptop, she fell asleep, she dreamed about her
dead sister, And because she dreamed about her dead sister
while her brain was connected to her laptop, her dead
sister is now a holographic AI assistant Natalie.

Speaker 9 (01:32:39):
Who the hell else would it? Besh and.

Speaker 1 (01:32:44):
Listen to it. It's a known risk, all right.

Speaker 2 (01:32:46):
I once went to sleep with my brain attached to
my computer, and I woke up to find the naked
Timothy Shallome flying around my living room.

Speaker 10 (01:32:56):
What time your leg?

Speaker 6 (01:32:57):
Look?

Speaker 7 (01:32:58):
I opened the window. You try it that cannithorn. Now
for now it's bit.

Speaker 5 (01:33:03):
Come out the window.

Speaker 7 (01:33:04):
I'll give you tea feeding not don't.

Speaker 8 (01:33:06):
Go off in a sonal tree for anyone, and cannabith.

Speaker 2 (01:33:09):
Three anyway, That, somehow is the end of episode one
of Iron Hut, which, in the grand scheme of superhero media,
probably ranks closer to Batwoman to anything we've seen since Batwoman.
It is black Woman, if you will, being a nice
and charitable sort, I do not.

Speaker 1 (01:33:27):
Consider this show to be irredeemable.

Speaker 2 (01:33:30):
Yet it just has an awful lot of redeeming to
do and not very much time in which to do it,
and the list keeps growing for every new scene it
gives us. I think it already has too many people
in it for them all to become characters, and it
is generally inadvisable to end your first episode with the
audience knowing fuck all about any of them. This is
especially true when the only things we really do know

(01:33:52):
are about the protagonist, and damn near all of those
things are bad. Redemption will require winnowing the cast down,
preferably through a good number of deaths. Re Re must
very quickly be shown forming doubts about her alliance with
the Hood, because having her doubt the morality of his
urban Robin hoodery will tell us that somewhere beneath the

(01:34:14):
psychopathic narcissism there is good in her, some reason for
her apparent hatred of Tony Stark, and indeed, of all
things good will have to be at least teased in
the next episode, and the show will have to make
clears sooner rather than later that this is among the
flaws that re rehas to overcome. We need to stop
jumping between groups of people, and as there is a

(01:34:36):
real point to us seeing them in order for something
like a through land to emerge, balked attempted humor should
be swapped for conversations that actually convey useful information. A
more sustainable reason than ego must be found for Rerea's
total disdain for the world of law abiding people, and
we probably do need a reason for the world of
law abiding people having no interest in her. It would

(01:34:59):
also help in ormously if something re redid in her past,
perhaps something related to her father's death was a wrong
be formative and see explanatory, since a single past mistake
could encompass a lot of the missing ingredients I've just listed.
In short, arranged the father's death just so, and we

(01:35:19):
have an explanation for why she is so unlikable at
the beginning of this show, and hopefully a clear destination
in mind.

Speaker 1 (01:35:26):
When she goes on a moral journey away from that position.

Speaker 2 (01:35:29):
She has to redeem not just her present day unpleasantness,
but her past mistake. I have no faith whatsoever that
they will do any such thing, but it is quite
easy to see ways to improve the show, and fuck it,
we've got to keep up some sort of pretense that
we're seriously reviewing it rather than just picking on the
mentally ill. I absolutely refuse to commit to finishing this

(01:35:50):
series because I have about fifty thousand more important things
I could be doing. And again, I didn't commit to
finishing she Hole Core Velma, and we saw how that
panned out. You know, sometimes we all just need a
little bit of lighthearted trauma bunding. It can't all be
four hour plot breakdowns, though there are more of those
on the horizon. This means you'll either see me next

(01:36:12):
on the second channel for a quick twenty eight years
later review, or on this channel in a few days
for Ironheart episode two, or on this channel in a
couple of weeks for the next of what I would
consider the main videos, Jurassic World after Birth. We shall see,
we shall see, and I shall see you in the
next one.

Speaker 1 (01:36:32):
Tata Hy Black.

Speaker 15 (01:36:36):
People, Hello Urger dot Com.

Speaker 18 (01:36:40):
It took a whole lot of try and just to
get up that hill, but here we are, after an
entire week. We've reached the finale of Ironheart, which also
happens to be the final chapter of Marvel Phase five,
And what a phase It's been Who could forget the coherent, engaging,
thrilling ground raking an iconic storytelling from Marvel's latest chapter.

Speaker 7 (01:37:04):
Don't imagine.

Speaker 1 (01:37:09):
No, no, no, no.

Speaker 5 (01:37:17):
Wait, missus marvels she got married again?

Speaker 1 (01:37:20):
Invite again?

Speaker 11 (01:37:21):
No, so what I've just been scouting nonsense and you've
just been humoring.

Speaker 1 (01:37:27):
Me, checking up all you.

Speaker 15 (01:37:29):
Oh my god, just do something.

Speaker 21 (01:37:31):
I mean, I know socialism is a charged word, but
we can learn.

Speaker 18 (01:37:35):
A lot from this, a phase that did admittedly have
a couple of hits that were completely engulten slop. That
was race swaps, gender swaps, mantle swaps, employment swaps, story swaps,
title swaps, villain swaps, and lots and lots of flops.
That's why Ironheart is an appropriate end to Marvel. You say, maybe,

(01:37:57):
but I was talking about Phase five, because surprisingly Ironheart
turned out to be just another piece of Disney Marvel
content for D plus with a bloated budget featuring a
race swap, gender swap, and mantle swapped insufferable and unlikable character.
And then they surrounded her with more insufferable and unlikable
characters in an incoherent story where everyone from executive producers

(01:38:19):
to writers to actors to directors were cast based on
their identity rather than hired for their ability.

Speaker 3 (01:38:25):
We brought in a lot of people who understand the
energy and the soul of that city, both in front
of and behind the camera, from cast members to directors, writer.

Speaker 22 (01:38:34):
Hair makeup teams from Chicago.

Speaker 5 (01:38:36):
There's sneaker game the lore.

Speaker 18 (01:38:40):
So Disney can brag about a one hundred and fifty
million dollars virtue signal conceived and born in the time
of BLM and the Summer of Love. Speaking of Infernos,
Disney Marvel's biggest crimes, introducing one of their best villains, Mephisto,
and this dumpster fire in the most meaningless way, and
we'll get to.

Speaker 1 (01:38:56):
That, believe me.

Speaker 18 (01:38:56):
But in the very long week between the season and
the season finale, you might ask yourself what kind of
debate was there around this series? Was there theory crafting
or hours long video essays NOE as predicted, There were
the accusations of review bombing, attacks on fandom, including but
not limited to Maga. Trolls are attacking Disney's Ironhart. But

(01:39:18):
here's how Black Internet is fighting back. What should have
been a momentous occasion for the MCU turned into an
ugly online spat thanks to some racist I would blame
Marvel and for a movie web let's call the Ironheart
hate what it really is? An article originally titled Ironheart
Racist review bomb, and it turns out to be just
another Disney Marvel flop. So what's one more kick in

(01:39:40):
the balls? Yeah, we've fit to be talking about Ironheart.
Previously on iron.

Speaker 1 (01:39:48):
Fart Lively, Gary would think of a So it really sucks.
I need cash money.

Speaker 3 (01:39:54):
Do you think Tony Stark would be Tony Stark if
he wasn't a dillionaire?

Speaker 1 (01:39:58):
I need cash money?

Speaker 13 (01:40:01):
Do you think Tony Stark would be Tony Stark if
he wasn't a billionaire billionaire? I don't want to to
mine in the barn or anything, but I'm kind of
want imagine personal Swanna.

Speaker 1 (01:40:23):
You know nothing about this bait.

Speaker 5 (01:40:25):
If you won't care.

Speaker 15 (01:40:26):
Because you only see it money, you're going to get caught.

Speaker 16 (01:40:32):
Good.

Speaker 17 (01:40:35):
No, I'm not.

Speaker 15 (01:40:39):
Boring.

Speaker 1 (01:40:40):
We already do that.

Speaker 18 (01:40:41):
So after wasting the opportunity of being invited to an
internship in the isolationist ethno state of Wakanda, and following
that wasting the opportunity of receiving four years of grant
money post graduation at MIT after being caught selling completed
tests all over. Wanting to build an iconic and undeniable
Ironman suit that's better than Tony Stark's Girl Genius, re

(01:41:02):
Re Williams finds herself out of resources and money. Now,
while she did consider going to work for a corporation
so big they wouldn't notice when she stole stuff.

Speaker 1 (01:41:11):
I need to drop that pace.

Speaker 3 (01:41:14):
Lad so massive they don't notice about from us a
resource here.

Speaker 18 (01:41:18):
It is the greatest mind of a generation that's smarter
than Hank Pim, Tony Stark, and Reed Richards combined. Does
not decide to sell the patents for the tech or
the tech itself to corporations four potential millions, hundreds of millions,
or hell billions. Re Ree Williams decides to forge ahead
and make thousands by joining a criminal organization. Considering the

(01:41:39):
vast majority of you won't be aware of this because
you didn't watch the show.

Speaker 7 (01:41:42):
We ended the three episode premiere, which happened just a.

Speaker 18 (01:41:45):
Week ago with re Re Williams being responsible for the
death of at least two men, and then when she
was asked if she was good.

Speaker 7 (01:41:51):
She said, no, no, I'm not, and I would agree.

Speaker 18 (01:41:54):
But this is where the media literate crowd from ex
Twitter will chime in and say it's all part of
her character, which is the transformative journey a character undergoes
throughout a story, reflecting their growth, change of perspective, or
moral journey. And after watching the final three episodes that
were in truth brutally boring yet filled with copious amounts
of cringe, I can definitively say none of that happens.

Speaker 7 (01:42:17):
The three episode season finale.

Speaker 18 (01:42:19):
That Marvel couldn't get out fast enough for you to
forget picks up on the inaction with another nauseating conversation
between re Rea and Natalie. Revey still feels really bad
for leaving Uncle John behind to die, but Natalie rationalizes
it with this.

Speaker 9 (01:42:32):
You day what you had to do to survive. John
would have done the same, And She's.

Speaker 7 (01:42:40):
Right, that's what John would do because he's a villain.

Speaker 18 (01:42:43):
Now, maybe it's my media illiteracy and I'm just too
dumb to understand, but I seem to recall countless times
throughout all of storytelling where the hero is at least
attempted to save the villain now, Reary is rightfully paranoid
that to Hood is plotting something because he thinks she
killed John.

Speaker 7 (01:42:59):
I don't know what gave it away.

Speaker 18 (01:43:00):
Maybe it was him looking her right in the face
and saying, I got plans for you.

Speaker 1 (01:43:03):
Hark, Are you got anything for me?

Speaker 15 (01:43:08):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:43:11):
I got plans for you.

Speaker 7 (01:43:12):
Now.

Speaker 18 (01:43:12):
After spending a good chunk of the third episode trying
to get a piece of d Hood's cloak that cost
a dozen men and women in their lives, rere accidentally
left a piece of tech that she borrowed from Zeke's
dame behind that got him arrested and blamed for their crimes.

Speaker 7 (01:43:26):
Then re revisits Zeke.

Speaker 18 (01:43:27):
And jail, and he gives a perfect description of our
hero's character.

Speaker 23 (01:43:32):
You're just suckage kid who can't take any responsibility for yourself.

Speaker 1 (01:43:37):
You lie, you cheat, you manipulent.

Speaker 23 (01:43:41):
You do anything you can to save yourself, even if
that means hurting other people in the process.

Speaker 10 (01:43:47):
Yay Lion.

Speaker 18 (01:43:48):
And if that wasn't enough, and a rare and fleeting
moment of self awareness, Rheree Williams goes to her NPC
boyfriend Xavier and asks this.

Speaker 5 (01:43:56):
Say, do you think I'm a good person?

Speaker 6 (01:44:01):
Mind.

Speaker 7 (01:44:02):
I like where they're going with this. It might have
led to some character development.

Speaker 18 (01:44:05):
Unfortunately, it leads to some intersectional postmodern gobbledygook.

Speaker 1 (01:44:09):
Good dad, where's not going to mean anything?

Speaker 7 (01:44:14):
So depending on who's labeling you, no fans, but it
sounds like that's a fun comedy gobbledy gook.

Speaker 1 (01:44:20):
But wait, dish blow you like spa spa Heath spocks name.

Speaker 6 (01:44:32):
Enough.

Speaker 18 (01:44:33):
As with all fan fiction, this series is filled with
a nauseating amount of boring, inane conversations between Rerey and
her mom, Rire and Natalie and Rere and Xavier, all
in some desperate hope to get the audience to like
the insufferable, unlikable character, with the added bonus of an
excessive amount of dramatic pauses to pad time for watch minutes.
And if you cut all that out, because it's completely

(01:44:55):
pointless in these final three episodes, you have about fifteen
minutes and I use the term loosely of substance any
who really needs to find the source of power for
that piece of da hood that she has, So she
and her mom go to a sweet book and magic shop,
which just so happens to be run by her Crystal
Hippie friend, and in Disney Marvel's continued efforts to show

(01:45:17):
the lived experience of marginalized people, we find out the
Crystal Hippie Mom is a sorceress who trained in Kamaratage
where Doctor Strange trained. She got knocked up and baby
Daddy went out to Katmandu to get some new ports
and never came back. And showing her questionable parenting skills,
she decided to leave Kamaratage and raise her daughter in Chicago.
And apparently both of them have the power to travel

(01:45:38):
to other dimensions.

Speaker 7 (01:45:39):
Well that's handy, I wonder if it comes up later.

Speaker 18 (01:45:41):
Well, Crystal Hippie Mom and her daughter Zelma, who is
from the Disney Marvel era of comics, figure out that
the piece of d Hood's cloak is evil and it's
from a dark dimension. If it wasn't bad enough that
re Re got Zeke arrested, she decides to break and
fuck up his silo while she's trying to figure out
what that piece of the Hood is. She can't figure
it out and decides that she needs to fight magic

(01:46:03):
with magic. She takes off and has a panic attack,
has trouble breathing.

Speaker 7 (01:46:07):
Also, we could get this subtle reference.

Speaker 1 (01:46:09):
I can't breathe, I can't.

Speaker 18 (01:46:11):
Meanwhile, the Hood breaks Zeke Stain out of jail and
ironically has the Drag Queen transition him into a supervillain, which.

Speaker 7 (01:46:18):
Means Ironheart now has three supervillain origin stories. Hell, they
should have called this bring on the bad guys.

Speaker 18 (01:46:24):
Then de Hood orders the trans Titans to kill re Re,
and quite frankly, I'm rooting for they of them. After
what feels like the fiftiest spat between Natalie and ree Re,
the acronym AI bestie takes off and gets abducted by.

Speaker 7 (01:46:37):
The Drag Queen and put into a van.

Speaker 18 (01:46:39):
Meanwhile, over at the White Castle, re Ree is meeting
with Zelma discussing the possible connections between the Hood and Dormamu.
I know some people say Dormamu. I say Dormamu. Deal
with it and Stammy if you've heard this one before,
A male presenting non binary female and a lesbian walk into.

Speaker 1 (01:46:57):
A White Castle and get violent.

Speaker 7 (01:46:59):
Hell, the thing missing was a restraining order in a
U haul.

Speaker 18 (01:47:02):
Anyway, Once again in Disney, Marvel's continuous efforts to spotlight
representation and show the lived experience of marginalized people.

Speaker 7 (01:47:11):
I present to you women.

Speaker 18 (01:47:12):
Of color throwing down in a fast food restaurant. It's
here we unfortunately have to stop what is the very
entertaining action to point out a couple of things. Yes,

(01:47:34):
the big bad butchers overtake the ninety pounds silken wet
Reeary Williams, and when they let her know she's about
to die, re Re says this.

Speaker 9 (01:47:41):
That headlines mar is going to be rough girl genius
dies much as we'll make the news.

Speaker 1 (01:47:46):
Well, damn that was dark.

Speaker 7 (01:47:48):
But then re retraps them when they step.

Speaker 18 (01:47:50):
On one of her watches that has a bubble force
field in it, which was the same watch that she
gave to a Xavier that he gave back door, and
she gave another to a mother.

Speaker 7 (01:48:00):
And this brings.

Speaker 1 (01:48:01):
Something to mind.

Speaker 7 (01:48:02):
And I'm just spitballing here, but maybe Rere Williams.

Speaker 18 (01:48:05):
Could have sold the patent for this technology, or the
useful technology itself to say, a corporation, for hundreds of
millions of dollars or even billions of dollars, instead of
joining a criminal organization to make thousands of dollars. AnyWho
now that the Indigo girls are trapped in a force
field bubble. It's back to the Woman of Color on
Woman of Color action and a fast food establishment. Meanwhile,

(01:48:38):
Natalie and re Re Suit are able to escape the mansheet.
I'm sorry, Slug reconnect with re Re in the most
hilarious scene in the series.

Speaker 5 (01:48:47):
I got ayes on.

Speaker 18 (01:49:07):
Well, I guess Slug does one thing like a woman
drive and after re Re scares off and sees Slug
for the last time, she has a truly visceral and
authentic reaction. Then Zeke Stain shows up and I know
it's subtle, but through my keen sense of observation, I
was able to surmise that this episode is brought to

(01:49:28):
you by White Castle. Outside of the White Castle that
serves delicious burgers and fries and a sort of beverages
whose mission statement is to create memorable moments every day
and feed the souls of craver generations everywhere, a young
black woman gets a ship out of her by a
white man. Zeke Stain was freed from jail and transitioned
into a superhero by the Hood. In return, he was

(01:49:49):
supposed to kill Rere, but decides not to and then
through a series of events too boring to recount.

Speaker 7 (01:49:54):
We end up at Gary Shop.

Speaker 18 (01:49:56):
Where re Re needs to build another suit and the
writers insist on another boring a name interpersonal drama scene,
and we are treated to something reminiscent of the Memory
Store from Doctor Strange Mom a full holographic memory of
Rehrey's childhood from the AI Natalie and.

Speaker 7 (01:50:12):
The only reason I tell you about this? And apologies,
I know I'm being a bit of a nitpicker here.

Speaker 18 (01:50:17):
What did you say that this technology, which was admittedly
stolen from the isolationist ethno state of Wakanda, I don't know,
valuable in any way and maybe you could, again hear
me out sell it for billions of dollars instead of
joining a criminal organization. Also, we're well over halfway through
the fifth episode of the series.

Speaker 1 (01:50:37):
Let's check in on.

Speaker 7 (01:50:38):
That ree Rey Williams character arc You good, No, I'm
not good.

Speaker 18 (01:50:44):
Meanwhile, back at the Hood, the X them figure out
that the Hood killed Eric Andre. Then they get fired
with the line that should apply to everyone involved in
this show, from the executives down to the janitor, fire
all of you. I'm still standing there, and before they
then leave us, let's take one last look at the
social justice society.

Speaker 7 (01:51:05):
Books will be written, Tales will be told.

Speaker 18 (01:51:07):
How the highest grossing cinematic franchise of all time went
from this to this. The absolute state of Disney Marble, then,
arguably the most offensive thing happens in this hate crime
against imagination when they had the unmitigated gall to utter
and invert one of the greatest lines from one of
the greatest films of all time.

Speaker 7 (01:51:26):
Hey, black people, report for duty.

Speaker 10 (01:51:29):
Captain of my friend, I can only say this, of
all the souls I've encountered on my travels, hers was
the most human.

Speaker 1 (01:51:40):
Shut up.

Speaker 18 (01:51:41):
Now that the Hood has gotten rid of the offenders,
he has taken control of Zeke's Stain and forced his
own father to sign one of those contracts that we'll
get to.

Speaker 7 (01:51:51):
The Hood is the son of.

Speaker 18 (01:51:52):
A venture capitalist who kicked him out when he was twelve,
obviously for good reason, and we are told through a
series of flashbacks that it was his first to tempt
to rob his father, where he runs across Mephisto played
by Sasha Baron Cohen, who again just had to pay
seventy five million dollars to his ex wife Isla Fisher.
Why does divorce cost so much because it's worth every

(01:52:13):
penny and for some there's some Marvel roll out there
that can help cover the costs. Now, Rear Williams, the
super Genius, has decided the only way to defeat the
Hood is to deconstruct her dad's exquisite nineteen seventy one
Plymouth Hemi Kuda, which are worth a few bucks in
this condition. And far be it for me to point
out that you could probably sell it instead of joining

(01:52:33):
a criminal organization.

Speaker 7 (01:52:34):
But I digress.

Speaker 18 (01:52:35):
They managed to make an ugly suit out of a
beautiful car, but it's still missing a power source, and
instead of displaying re Re Williams once in a generation.

Speaker 7 (01:52:44):
Intellect, they just fix it with magic.

Speaker 18 (01:52:46):
It's probably has a lot to do with unintelligent writers
being unable to write intelligent people. And never mind the
fact that it completely undercuts what there is of Rere
Williams's story.

Speaker 7 (01:52:55):
But if it gets it over quicker, I'm for it.
And it turns out the magic comes at a cost.
It wipes out the Natalie AI and I see this
as a win win.

Speaker 18 (01:53:02):
Reeory Williams easily defeats Zeke Stayin with the on brand
mc U kicking a male character and the balls, and

(01:53:25):
right after to Hood speaks some truth.

Speaker 7 (01:53:28):
He was so sure that you were one of the
good ones.

Speaker 1 (01:53:31):
But now look at you.

Speaker 20 (01:53:32):
You'll have your fancy suit, but you're not gonna use
it to stop a speeding train or say the city
from an asteroid.

Speaker 1 (01:53:39):
Oh, you just wants this power for yourself. You're a criminal.

Speaker 18 (01:53:44):
Then she easily defeats him in under five minutesence. This
brings us to Mephisto or Sasha Baron Cohen in a
fake Beard sitting at tables, goes his Josh.

Speaker 7 (01:53:56):
Now he is by far the best thing in the show,
but it's still not good.

Speaker 18 (01:53:59):
But we do get a peek at the real Mephisto
from the comics.

Speaker 7 (01:54:02):
In a reflection in a Spoon, he attempts.

Speaker 18 (01:54:05):
To manipulate re Re Williams into making a deal with some
very familiar words.

Speaker 1 (01:54:10):
I hope people realize their wildest ambitions. People like you,
people like me, someone who, due to no fault of
their own, finds themselves always at the show end of
the stick. And that's why I'm here to help the unseen.

Speaker 7 (01:54:32):
The und sounds like the modern Democrat Party.

Speaker 18 (01:54:36):
In the end, re Ree Williams makes a deal with
Mephisto to get her friend Natalie back in the flesh.
And this is where re Ree Williams officially becomes a
villain and completing her villain origin story by making a
deal with Mephisto, who turned out to be the hero,
by doing the Lord's work and putting re Re's soul
where it belongs. And yes, that's where it ends on

(01:54:57):
a cliffhanger that includes a post credit seem because somebody
who was working on the show was under the impression
they were going to get season two.

Speaker 7 (01:55:13):
And sure after watching this, I have a few questions now.
Being the sweet Summer child I am.

Speaker 18 (01:55:17):
I thought the Hood's contracts he was forcing everybody to
sign had something to do with their soul.

Speaker 7 (01:55:22):
No, it was just about him getting rich.

Speaker 18 (01:55:24):
Were the writers not aware that contracts signed under duress
or voidable? Was Disney not aware that the writers for
the show's contracts were voidable? Why did Rear Williams, the
super Genius have uber eats delivered to a secret bunker.
Why didn't the Magic Girl Zelma just teleport to Hood
and the Legion of Groom into a hell dimension. On
that note, why doesn't the Hood, who can teleport in

(01:55:45):
the comics at least turn invisible, sneak up on rear
and shoot her in the head.

Speaker 7 (01:55:48):
With one of his magic bullets.

Speaker 18 (01:55:50):
When the hell thought it was a good idea to
spend one hundred and fifty million dollars on this thing?

Speaker 7 (01:55:54):
Who thought it was a good idea to release it?

Speaker 18 (01:55:56):
How much damage have I done to what's left of
my brain after watching it? And there are so many
more questions, But in the interest of our collective time insanity,
and because I actually like my editors, we're gonna end
it here. Ultimately, the Chuds were right again, because Ironheart
was the most predictable Disney Marvel disaster since the last
Disney Marvel disaster. And you would like to think that
it's the MGU in its final form, but the Fantastic

(01:56:18):
four is.

Speaker 7 (01:56:19):
Right around the corner, and it better.

Speaker 18 (01:56:20):
Do good or this will be unquestionably Disney Marvel's worst year.

Speaker 7 (01:56:25):
And that's saying something.

Speaker 18 (01:56:26):
But I do think it's poetic that Ironheart the series
ends up just like Ironheart the comic canceled dot com.
If you like what you heard, please like, share, and subscribe.
If you didn't like what you heard, I thank you.
For listening this long.

Speaker 7 (01:56:41):
I will see you in the next video.

Speaker 11 (01:56:46):
Normally, I have a pretty strong answer if someone were
to ask me if I wanted to watch some new MCU.

Speaker 1 (01:56:54):
But with Ironheart, it's such a rollercoaster.

Speaker 11 (01:56:57):
On a Madam Web level that I almost looked forward
to these final three episodes. Yes, iron Heart's season has
already seen its conclusion. It's almost like Marvel knew they
had a complete bomb incoming, so they detonated it over
a one week period from June twenty fourth to July first.
My last iron Heart video got a totally reasonable reaction
from people defending it.

Speaker 1 (01:57:17):
I hope you get asked cancer and die, you son
of a bitch. I'll cut your throat. I'll come to
your house and kill your children.

Speaker 11 (01:57:23):
So I'm really looking forward to joining you all in
the comments. Again, it doesn't look like total war or anything.

Speaker 1 (01:57:30):
You get fun.

Speaker 11 (01:57:31):
No matter how you might feel about this show, there
are a hilarious amount of writing flaws that simply cannot
be ignored. Like, on a serious note, Rerey Williams is
a fucking monster. You'll see once I get to the
finale later in the video. But she effectively learns nothing
in the show at all. In fact, I would even
say she's in a worse spot in every conceivable way

(01:57:51):
by the end of the show. What's even crazier is
they decided to go through with that kind of storytelling,
knowing they wouldn't be doing an Iron Heart season two.
They held on to this battered around butt pirate of
a show for years, meaning there's no way they'll be
filming any more. So what we get at the end
of episode six will be the lasting impression of ree
Ree Williams and my god, the Tony Cope. First, no,

(01:58:12):
Tony and re Re are nothing alike. Tony had his
blind spots, he sold weapons of mass destruction, meaning there
is a massive degree of separation between him and people dying. Meanwhile,
re Ree is over here blatantly murdering people and covering
it up, not only across our debut in Wilkona Forever,
but here in her own spinoff show two. Not to mention,
re Re has effectively zero charisma. With great writing and acting,

(01:58:33):
you can make an unlikable character unlikable due to their
actions very likable because of their personality. You can root
for them and want them to do better. But re
Rea is not only too far gone, she was never
even in the fucking ballpark. That's just one of many
many issues with the show, which is best served as
its own analysis video. For now, though, let's get to
breaking down the final three episodes of this fucking train wreck.

Speaker 15 (01:58:55):
Episode full.

Speaker 11 (01:58:58):
We begin with a flash back of Dipshits, zoomed in
Face and his mentor, Minority Hero Number twelve, also known
as the guy re reallowed to die a savage death
just last episode. These two stand up citizens are about
to break into someone's mansion and do so with these
I guess they've been watching Larry Bird videos pro The

(01:59:19):
owner of this home is also conveniently too retarded to
invest in a security system, thank god, and it contrived
as all fuck circumstance. Just as he's about to break
into a safe, he's caught by a security guard and
promptly rescued by Minority Hero, who shoots the guy and
punches him in the face for good measure. Minority Hero
tells zoom Face and an awkward bit of cringe inducing
dialogue that they have.

Speaker 1 (01:59:40):
To split up, but he's never too far away.

Speaker 11 (01:59:42):
He'll always be with him, never too far away. That's
kind of writing my work if characters are escaping a
harrowing situation that they didn't put themselves in, but these
two did. They broke into the house, shot the guard,
Like what the fuck? Enough with the flashbacks, we fast
forward to present day, where they're reminiscing about what a
great but stubborn guy that dead dude was. Hood stands

(02:00:03):
up declaring that he wouldn't want this to stop their.

Speaker 1 (02:00:05):
Mission, and that made me think, what is their mission?

Speaker 11 (02:00:08):
Well, so far, it looks like it's to accumulate money
for themselves.

Speaker 1 (02:00:11):
That's it.

Speaker 11 (02:00:12):
They say their mission is to be the modern day
Chicago Hood version of Robin Hood, stealing from the rich
and giving to the poor. But the only people I
see them giving a fucking dying to are themselves. In fact,
they're so carefree with it. They were just throwing one
hundred dollars bills around, showering in them, and throwing a party.
Great use of resources, guys, you're truly doing the Lord's work. Hilariously,

(02:00:33):
Hood sticks to this motto and mission, despite also admitting
out loud to Rear that they're criminals last episode, she
just fucking retarded as almost lovable. Re Rey is hyper
paranoid that Hood's going to come after her and kill her.
Which wait, the only reason she's even upset is because
she knows what she did is traceable, so she's just afraid.

Speaker 1 (02:00:51):
She's not actually upset about what she did to poor
old John Boy at all. Holy shit, what a psycho
re rea.

Speaker 11 (02:00:57):
Future hero gets horrendous advice from her a dead best
friend that it's totally okay she let John die because
John would have done the same thing. My question is,
isn't the point to be better? At what point is
she supposed to learn this lesson? And do the writers
not realize that she's too far gone. John does get
a mention in a passing line of dialogue.

Speaker 9 (02:01:15):
You did what you had to do to survive. John
would have done the same, stressing over an act of
self defense is going to get you killed.

Speaker 11 (02:01:25):
The dude was basically incapacitated and she had her suit on.
He was absolutely harmless to her at that point, and
she didn't need to.

Speaker 1 (02:01:32):
Let him die at all.

Speaker 11 (02:01:33):
In fact, when she went looking for him, she still
could have saved him, and she just decided not to.

Speaker 1 (02:01:38):
That's not self defense. That is fucking murder.

Speaker 11 (02:01:41):
She leaves to see Joe aka Cux Solo, whose real
identity as the son of Obadiah Stein has been discovered.
Because she sees he's been arrested and framed for the
heist job and murder, she visits the walking humiliation ritual
in jail, where he at least has something legitimate to say.

Speaker 17 (02:01:56):
You're just something kid.

Speaker 1 (02:01:58):
You lie.

Speaker 23 (02:02:00):
She to do anything you can to save for yourself,
even if that means hurting other people in the process.

Speaker 11 (02:02:05):
God damn, this is what characters think of her who
don't know she's a murderer. She even gives her mom
a tracking device so she can keep an eye on her.
You see Rerey's paranoia about zoom faces peaking, but even
the penguin loved his mother too. Re Read gives one
to her not boyfriend too, and with dialogue that's as
subtle as a sledgehammer, point blank asks.

Speaker 1 (02:02:23):
Him, Hey, do you think I'm a good person?

Speaker 19 (02:02:25):
No?

Speaker 11 (02:02:26):
Thankfully, she receives crickets and backs off. And you know,
I think they go through every single stereotype they possibly can,
because they somehow even land on a fucking kool Aid
joke and drugs in a thirty second span, writer talk to.

Speaker 5 (02:02:38):
Me about what's going on.

Speaker 9 (02:02:40):
I'm fine, girl, you just busted down a dough like
the kool Aid ban you a magic almost got the plug.

Speaker 11 (02:02:46):
Writing characters like they have here in Ironheart means the
only argument for why this is good would be to
suggest it's authentic, which would be to suggest the black
people fulfill any and all stereotypes about themselves, including any
regarding crime and the even fucking kool Aid.

Speaker 1 (02:03:01):
That's how this show portrays people.

Speaker 11 (02:03:03):
This monumental achievement of peak representation gone so far backwards,
the writers fell inside the crevice of their own assholes.
To help ease Rebree's anxiety, her mom brings her to
a shop where they sell crystals in stage and a
bunch of you know that bullshit, and the owner's daughter's
wearing a shirt that I shit you not reads You're
too good for him. We're just checking every progressive talking
point from twenty twenty one off the list.

Speaker 15 (02:03:24):
Huh.

Speaker 11 (02:03:26):
Turns out the owner are sorcerers, you know, like doctor Strange,
and the daughter senses the piece of magical cape and
Reebe's pocket.

Speaker 1 (02:03:33):
I guess. So what does she do next?

Speaker 11 (02:03:35):
She decides to drag everyone into an alternate dimension.

Speaker 1 (02:03:38):
To study it.

Speaker 11 (02:03:38):
If that not only sounds super fucking convenient that re
reknew a magical being, but at the same time sounds
confusing and or makes absolutely no fucking sense.

Speaker 1 (02:03:47):
Don't worry, You're not alone.

Speaker 11 (02:03:49):
They tell her this magical cape shit is bad news.
It influences whoever's wearing it, and it's some dark evil stuff.
They kick Rerey and her mom out of the store,
where her mother gets upset that ree Rey keeps things
so seek But this just pisses the little bitch off.

Speaker 1 (02:04:02):
Even more and she, you know, flies off elsewhere.

Speaker 11 (02:04:05):
Zoom Face goes to visit Cux Solo in jail, where
the guy is so retarded He asks zoom Face aka
man who teleports and wears a cape, if he's a
fucking lawyer. In fact, the guy so dummy hides a
spare key to his hideout right under the doormat. Rayvery's
trying to figure things out, and well, oh no, she
can't figure things out, and after a while leaves because
she's having a panic attack.

Speaker 1 (02:04:26):
And man, this show is just so subtle.

Speaker 3 (02:04:29):
I can't breathe knowing everyone I love is going to die.

Speaker 1 (02:04:32):
I can't breathe.

Speaker 11 (02:04:33):
Really, you guys, how fucking low will you go? And
we can throw this Cope in there too, say.

Speaker 16 (02:04:38):
She's just like Tony because he had panic attacks and
Iron Man three. Remember remember back to Cux Solo, He's
been freed of his jail cell by zoom Face, who
gave him a job offer. The whole crew is there
to help break him out, including Slug the Green Haired.
They then typing on a keyboard like this.

Speaker 5 (02:04:57):
And come in, he said, it your way.

Speaker 11 (02:05:03):
As retarded as Cuckboy is, re Re is simply not
to be outdone. Her dead best friend Ai runs off
and grabs her not brother and brings him to Reread
to talk to her, and just decides it's cool to
reveal Natalie to him. The dude is rightfully horrified, and
re Re's like, oh hey, yo, what the fuck? You
just like get used to it. I'm surprised he didn't
haul off and strike her. The episode ends with Stayine

(02:05:25):
getting ready to have something crazy with his tech downe
to him, and zoom Face is ready to kill re
Rea for the.

Speaker 1 (02:05:30):
Murder of Johnny Boy. I'll give she Hulk this.

Speaker 11 (02:05:33):
At least that show is short, you know, like thirty
minute episodes. This at nearly an hour an episode is
pure fucking torture, no matter how laughably bad it is.

Speaker 1 (02:05:42):
Anyway, episode who Fucking Killed Me?

Speaker 11 (02:05:46):
We kick things off with a little reminder of how
much better re Rea is than everyone else. She literally
rattles off all the people she's going to usurp, including
Hank Pim and Tony Stark. It's just her dead AI
best friend reliving re Ree's memories when she's kidnapped by
a non binary person. Yes that's a real sentence. Diverse
and strong female character number seven is sitting down with

(02:06:07):
re retrying to break reality to her. She's dealing with
dor Mamu, and that means she's fucked.

Speaker 1 (02:06:13):
You remember Dormmu, right?

Speaker 11 (02:06:14):
He was the final boss of the first Doctor Strange movie,
the guy with such incredible design.

Speaker 1 (02:06:19):
He's at least one step up.

Speaker 11 (02:06:21):
From the Galactus Cloud and the Fantastic Four sequel. The
script thinks the audience is so fucking stupid. They have
characters spell everything out for us.

Speaker 9 (02:06:29):
They just need a puppet to carry out whatever plan
they're coming up with.

Speaker 7 (02:06:32):
In Parker, blinded by andition, easy to manipulate.

Speaker 11 (02:06:35):
Whatever screenplays have become, I absolutely hate it. This is
Madam web level retarded, and after hearing her diverse friends warning,
the Progressive Corridor crew arrives to apparently kidnap Rere in
broad daylight in front of people. This crew of do
gooders give to the poor rights they steal from the rich,
and ooh oh, look at how well they take care

(02:06:57):
of their people.

Speaker 5 (02:06:57):
He said, We're closed.

Speaker 11 (02:07:00):
What ensues is probably the most absurd fight scene this
side of his Zack Snender movie, with characters punching and
kicking and asking things like ha, you like that to
each other with no sense of just how unintentionally hilarious
the whole thing comes across. You got a Chicago born
black criminal fighting two lesbian sisters in a kitchen brawl.

Speaker 1 (02:07:27):
I don't know what's funny or.

Speaker 11 (02:07:28):
What I see on screen, or the fact that someone
actually made this up and thought it was a good idea, regardless.

Speaker 1 (02:07:33):
Of why we're here.

Speaker 11 (02:07:34):
Well we are, and so is Reray as she learns
the hard way never to hit a lesbian.

Speaker 1 (02:07:44):
Goddamn, that's right.

Speaker 11 (02:07:46):
She gets absolutely donkey kicked by this butch bitch, who
stands there prouder than Agent Smith giving reread the old
mister Anderson. Oh, and the dialogue here makes me want
to murder myself.

Speaker 9 (02:07:57):
A genius dies will make them well damn that was dark.

Speaker 1 (02:08:01):
Yeah, but I look yeah.

Speaker 11 (02:08:03):
Hike re asks them to just make it quick, and
they oblige by pulling out a gun, which why.

Speaker 1 (02:08:09):
Didn't they just fucking do that in the first place.

Speaker 11 (02:08:12):
She tricks the two lesbians, but there's still another one
to deal with, the girl who wears garbage bags for
some reason. She brawls out with this dumb ass, leaving
the White Castle to look like a BLM protest just
passed through, and although she escapes the they them final
boss is on her tail. Turns out, though the dead
AI best friend can just break out of the van
at the most convenient time and attach the suit to rere,

(02:08:34):
giving us the best scene in the entire show.

Speaker 1 (02:08:36):
I fucking bust out laughing at this shit. Check it out.

Speaker 11 (02:08:45):
The script has the scene written like we're clapping and
laughing along with it, so I don't want to spoil
it for the screenwriters, But dear God, are we not
laughing with you? Somehow, this fuggly thing doesn't even break
a fucking nail. Turns out that was just the transgender
final boss, though, because there's another one, Cuck Solo, who's
upgraded himself with some Spider Man villain like powers, we

(02:09:07):
get a fantastic dialogue exchange where once again everything's spelled
out for the characters because the screenwriters think the audience
is as stupid as they are. Pretty neat right, I
was bailed out by a mutual friend, Parker Robbins.

Speaker 1 (02:09:19):
Tell me my stuff back, what does he want to
return you? He thankfully whips her ass.

Speaker 11 (02:09:24):
But because there's one more episode, we know she's unfortunately
going to be back right now. Though, stand back, folks,
you're about to hear a compliment out of me because
something actually works in this show.

Speaker 1 (02:09:35):
In fact, it doesn't just work.

Speaker 11 (02:09:37):
If they could have followed up what happens next with
anything close to it in terms of quality, they might
have been able to redeem the show.

Speaker 1 (02:09:45):
I can't believe I'm about to say this.

Speaker 11 (02:09:47):
Re Re returns home, where her mom convinces her it's
time to fight back. She brings her to her dead
stepdad's old auto garage, where the also dead best friend
Ai projects an old memory of rereas for everyone to see.

Speaker 1 (02:09:58):
It's of her when she.

Speaker 11 (02:09:59):
Was a kid, but they're stepdad just hanging out in
the garage together. Not only it's this scene poignantly written,
it's also incredibly well acted. Yes, the actors who have
been redefining Cringe for the last five episodes put on
a stellar performance for this one singular, brilliant scene.

Speaker 1 (02:10:15):
It's so fucking good.

Speaker 11 (02:10:16):
It feels wildly out of place in this hell hole
of a TV program. I feel like I just sold
my soul to the fucking devil Oka. So back to
our regularly scheduled program. Yes, back to this show being
dumb as fuck. Her mom surprises re Read with the
old car that belonged to her stepdad, and it's just
sitting outside the building, meaning they walked right past it
when they walked in, yet re reshocked to see it

(02:10:37):
sitting there. So just, you know, right back to stupid.
Apparently the only reason zoom Face got cock Soolo out
of jail was so he could juice him up, making
him capable of killing ree Re Williams, even though Hood
is fully capable of killing re Re himself.

Speaker 1 (02:10:51):
So why didn't he just go do that? Because? Fuck you?
That's why.

Speaker 11 (02:10:55):
Elsewhere there's the sense amongst the gen Z cast, Because
of something re resent earlier, the plastic bag wearing girl
suspects Hood actually killed Eric Andre, which for whatever reason,
comes as a massive surprise to these criminals. This triggers
zoom Face into committing a hate crime when he attacks
the non binary thing. Not even the lesbian's powerful as
they are, can get him to let go of its neck.

(02:11:17):
He pisses everyone off into leaving because everyone's shocked at
the other murderer's criminals are full of betrayal.

Speaker 1 (02:11:24):
This show sucks so much cock.

Speaker 11 (02:11:26):
Back to Reary, She's apparently going to use dor Mamu
in some capacity to fight zoom Face, and who shows
up to say hello now that he's done crying?

Speaker 1 (02:11:33):
Why the hello? Black people?

Speaker 24 (02:11:35):
Guy?

Speaker 15 (02:11:35):
Black people?

Speaker 11 (02:11:36):
She gave him a note with some star Trek shit
on it to butter him up, so he just showed
up to make fun of her geekiness.

Speaker 1 (02:11:41):
I guess, yeah, fucking nerd.

Speaker 11 (02:11:43):
During this entire scene, they film it using Dutch angles
for some fucking reason.

Speaker 1 (02:11:47):
God damn do I hate Dutch angles.

Speaker 11 (02:11:49):
They do use this when magic is present in the show,
but I don't care.

Speaker 1 (02:11:53):
I fucking hate this shit.

Speaker 11 (02:11:54):
They're building a new suits wile Hood goes to fetch Cuckboy.
He doesn't want him to leave after all. Nope, he
plans the U use him as his own killing machine.
I guess, are we still planning on doing a ton
more heists and stealing from the rich and giving to
the poor?

Speaker 1 (02:12:07):
And does motivation even fucking matter? At this point?

Speaker 11 (02:12:09):
Most people's motivation in the show comes down to I'm
doing it because I can.

Speaker 16 (02:12:13):
Uh uh oh.

Speaker 1 (02:12:14):
And this has got to.

Speaker 11 (02:12:15):
Be one of the most ludicrous shots in the entire show.
Zoom Face is headed into the house he was in
during the flashback last episode. Turns out it's his father's house,
and what does his dad do well? First of all,
he joins in on delivering the vomit inducing dialogue.

Speaker 20 (02:12:28):
The only way to even get you to pay attention
to me was if I was in trouble, what's your spect?

Speaker 1 (02:12:32):
I didn't want you, so I thought it would be
better for both of us to cut our losses and
move on. Nothing personal.

Speaker 11 (02:12:37):
So you tried really hard with him, but he was
just a bad egg. Yet it was nothing personal. Sounds
pretty fucking personal anyway. The dude with the giant mole
to rival Rachel McAdams really triggers zoom Face, so at
the threat of a gun, he signs over his company
because once again, that's how this fucking stuff works, I guess. Meanwhile,
re Re's having her suit im viewed with Magic, but

(02:12:57):
to do so, the suit can't power both her day
AI best friend and Magic because the plot needs it
to happen that way, so her dead AI best friend disappears.

Speaker 1 (02:13:07):
Episode zick.

Speaker 7 (02:13:09):
It sucks, sucks, It sucks, It sucks.

Speaker 11 (02:13:13):
Finally, we're at the last episode of this pistain and
who gets revealed to get us started Why I'm a fisto.

Speaker 1 (02:13:20):
Yes, we're in a flashback.

Speaker 11 (02:13:21):
Scene where the villain people have been clamoring for, constantly
thinking he'd appear in this show, or that movie or
wherever the fuck well, he's finally here, and where does
he appear but an iron heart.

Speaker 1 (02:13:34):
Fuck you.

Speaker 11 (02:13:35):
He's played by Borat himself, who shows up to zoom
Face into a partnership. I can help you be King
of the Kiss. You will have jail, he promises, and
zoom Face is like.

Speaker 1 (02:13:45):
I'm fucking down like a clown Charlie Brown.

Speaker 11 (02:13:47):
In the present, He's accomplished that task living like a
king due to plot contrivances and general retardation of all
who stand before on each episode, and he's having a
Harry Potter level meal for himself and Couckboy. He tells
his bitch to trying the caveat, to which Old Kucky
responds that eating baby animals is unethical. This makes zoom
Face mad, but to be fair, I think he's holding back.

Speaker 1 (02:14:08):
Because I would have choked the fucker to death by
this point. The guy is such a buffoon.

Speaker 11 (02:14:11):
He picks up a fork with a clear intent to
stab him while zoom Face is fucking looking at him. Unsurprisingly,
Cut gets the fork right in the leg for his troubles.
Turns out that he's got that directive four in his brain. Yeah, boy,
he's got that RoboCop because his programming means he can't
allow harm to come to zoom Face, even.

Speaker 1 (02:14:29):
At his own hand. I told you.

Speaker 11 (02:14:31):
Solo was here for a humiliation ritual. Who takes this
kind of role. He went from playing the coolest dude
in the galaxy to this bruised up bitch. Anyway, Elsewhere,
Parker starts talking to Borat.

Speaker 1 (02:14:41):
In the ether. He even asks them important questions.

Speaker 11 (02:14:44):
When'd you get an accent Kazakstan being the obvious answer.
Borat fucks with him a bit playing hide and seek,
saying la la la la la, you'll never get these
Brewery's trying to find Parker at the same time this
is going on, that ends up running into Kuki boy instead.

Speaker 1 (02:14:58):
And just listen to how this fucking idiot talks. Can
you move? I totally hear your request. There's just one small, tiny,
little snack.

Speaker 11 (02:15:06):
And then to help the guy, she has to I
kid you not kick him in the fucking balls?

Speaker 1 (02:15:12):
What the fuck did this guy do? Fuck Bob Iger's wife.

Speaker 11 (02:15:16):
And now the finale, where a great character arc of
re re reaches its conclusion, where she's going to be
reborn as a hero. Like Tony said, never has a
greater phoenix metaphor been personified in human history.

Speaker 1 (02:15:27):
M I right.

Speaker 11 (02:15:28):
Parker even sets it up for re read and knock
it out of the park like fucking baby.

Speaker 1 (02:15:31):
Ruth face it re re you're a criminal like me.

Speaker 11 (02:15:34):
They fight for all of two seconds before he rips
her not arc reactor out and blows up the suit,
or so he thinks. Re re uses a hologram to
distract him and rips the cloak off him, leaving us
with a shell of a man getting paid real money
to be filmed rolling around on the ground.

Speaker 1 (02:15:49):
Screaming give it back.

Speaker 11 (02:15:52):
Yes, the final fight is that anti climactic, And just
when you think the writers might want to give re
Rea even the faintest skeleton outline of a character arc,
they fall flat on their face because this bitch.

Speaker 1 (02:16:03):
Makes a deal with the motherfucking devil. That's right.

Speaker 11 (02:16:06):
She goes from being a murdering, selfish criminal to start
the show too, essentially making a deal with the fucking
devil at the end. You can't make this shit up, folks,
and I'm called cynic. What could possibly be more of
a cynical way to end the story than that she
makes a deal with him to get her best friend
and stepdad back. Basically, so now she's about to go
from just your average everyday criminal to a full fledged

(02:16:29):
super villain.

Speaker 1 (02:16:29):
But anyway, that's it. That's the fucking show.

Speaker 11 (02:16:32):
I've said it once, but I will say it again.
This entire thing, all six episodes, has been one of
the most perplexing, hilarious, and baffling things I've ever watched.
It's a show that's incredibly of its time, a very
small window in time in which the most progressive, stereotypical,
trite trash could be thrown on a theater screen or
a television screen and it would garner critical praise and

(02:16:52):
not much else. Now, even though this set on the
shelf for a few years, it feels like a relic.
It feels like something that belongs in a museum, or
maybe a toilet would be more appropriate. Ironheart is, in
the end everything you expected it.

Speaker 1 (02:17:04):
To be in much more.

Speaker 11 (02:17:06):
Not only is it a complete piece of shit, it
also shocks at one of the best three minutes the
MCU might have ever produced, while the remaining ninety nine
percent is dog shit and pat form one of the
worst written products the MCU has ever produced, all wrapped
around an insane price tag and brought to you by
actors who seem to not give one single fuck about
what they're doing. I'm honestly shocked to anyone in the

(02:17:26):
show could take it seriously long enough to get a
fucking scene finished. It comes off like they made a
show in bad faith, going back to reshoot a few
scenes to give it a sad attempt at sincerity. It'll
get lost in the shuffle amongst all the Marvel trash,
but I'll put it right up there alongside She Hulk
is Marvel's greatest embarrassment. Before we depart, dear friends, I
just want to let you know I now have a
Patreon that's just five dollars a month and you get

(02:17:48):
access to exclusive reviews just like this one every single
week that aren't available on the main channel. And a
huge shout out to everyone over on Patreon who's supporting me.

Speaker 1 (02:17:56):
I really appreciate all of you.

Speaker 11 (02:17:58):
Link is on the screen and in the description until
next time.

Speaker 24 (02:18:01):
Gee geez, what t wats walks up?

Speaker 21 (02:18:40):
Takes whats wal.

Speaker 19 (02:18:51):
You give them to give them back?

Speaker 15 (02:18:54):
Six said same sad so that you can give him.

Speaker 19 (02:19:00):
The head is pete?

Speaker 17 (02:19:01):
You give about it?

Speaker 21 (02:19:02):
It's about last said say take you so last give.

Speaker 19 (02:19:07):
The buck gives a buck there I'm not said up
my phon.

Speaker 14 (02:19:10):
A lady pa only buck ship with the compot but
the number.

Speaker 15 (02:19:17):
One and he said the parsing the.

Speaker 19 (02:19:19):
One and it wasn't the funny time is but cous
the things about the age.

Speaker 15 (02:19:23):
Busy protest, what that different with you?

Speaker 19 (02:19:26):
It's I don't know what the fuck do tempo? You
what the doll brock down.

Speaker 6 (02:19:38):
Not pat sound pat.

Speaker 14 (02:19:52):
You get about the give about last success say taking episode.

Speaker 19 (02:19:56):
That you would give a bot it's about last.

Speaker 6 (02:19:59):
I'm not tell them.

Speaker 1 (02:20:03):
The s sixty ten.

Speaker 14 (02:20:06):
S about them selling another n talking about also show
the talk to the bird, so talking about also talk

(02:20:28):
to the bird.

Speaker 6 (02:20:30):
So I don't think that.

Speaker 22 (02:20:52):
I'm gonna do this may the nobel.

Speaker 6 (02:21:27):
Big Yeah.

Speaker 1 (02:21:54):
You about man success same.

Speaker 6 (02:21:57):
Man not best.

Speaker 21 (02:22:00):
I'm not senam before let said about they give a
come the success they tell you that.

Speaker 15 (02:22:09):
I give a come, then I have a penamafore.

Speaker 6 (02:22:12):
The love gets.

Speaker 15 (02:22:13):
Ye things.

Speaker 19 (02:23:08):
In the bottom going.

Speaker 15 (02:23:12):
Said by you weekdays.

Speaker 16 (02:23:28):
In the.

Speaker 19 (02:23:33):
End the conduct then the end and.

Speaker 15 (02:23:35):
Tell them I'm saying, oh the talking work there away.

Speaker 19 (02:23:41):
So people are not going out there about.

Speaker 6 (02:23:44):
Sister stop.

Speaker 21 (02:23:50):
Sat they say they stay.

Speaker 15 (02:24:15):
Again something I never stopping when he started.

Speaker 19 (02:24:18):
Straight down starting, I think you didn't something.

Speaker 15 (02:24:22):
The SE's a bit broken.

Speaker 6 (02:24:24):
The lady.

Speaker 17 (02:24:48):
So talk to by by s.

Speaker 15 (02:24:56):
By down.

Speaker 25 (02:24:59):
WHI same.

Speaker 16 (02:25:36):
S That is.

Speaker 6 (02:25:45):
Episode pleasy.

Speaker 26 (02:26:09):
Dictation bauble to buy cows.

Speaker 17 (02:26:30):
Payday for my downfall.

Speaker 19 (02:26:35):
The day was there from the wealthy I've.

Speaker 21 (02:27:22):
Been a paying past and from the themes of my
past because the fatality has been a part of me.

Speaker 17 (02:27:30):
But I've pomp this up to let as.

Speaker 19 (02:27:34):
And it is difficult not to repress, to go a
little way.

Speaker 15 (02:27:41):
But reassessed this situations.

Speaker 6 (02:27:44):
Because I have to learn some day.

Speaker 21 (02:27:48):
Desa my ampytype for nicasion and the strange.

Speaker 19 (02:27:54):
Relationships, trying to stay.

Speaker 6 (02:27:57):
Away from the cop.

Speaker 17 (02:28:00):
I say seeing you read sus had.

Speaker 27 (02:28:04):
Been phot so the past, the miss no shit, fasting
that I am no.

Speaker 19 (02:28:12):
Mo mine, no woman, no voice, and.

Speaker 6 (02:28:17):
Go for it.

Speaker 17 (02:28:20):
Every time.

Speaker 15 (02:28:20):
I love the way I'm feeling like I'm the.

Speaker 17 (02:28:22):
Worst saying destruction because I can not shake this feeling and.

Speaker 19 (02:28:25):
It's raking it.

Speaker 21 (02:28:27):
I'll hers all that biggest paintings. I need them the
way I'm trying. So why not you breaking something with
the day st shut? Do't hers all that biggest paintings.

Speaker 17 (02:28:43):
I need them the way I'm trying. Someone not breaking
something up with the bag suter think inside of me
and I cannot serve by were.

Speaker 22 (02:28:54):
Not to fall in love from my saying saying shit
and the woman I call mouth.

Speaker 6 (02:29:01):
But I can tell you of the harness.

Speaker 17 (02:29:04):
Home just trying to take my love away with that.

Speaker 1 (02:29:08):
I don't understand is the strength off I could vin.

Speaker 25 (02:29:11):
And that I love it to steady so out.

Speaker 17 (02:29:17):
And you know these spetis and oursge.

Speaker 27 (02:29:21):
You raise ship frustration strengthing the thor be and to
bees random with.

Speaker 6 (02:29:29):
How you got.

Speaker 15 (02:29:32):
These sights and our sage.

Speaker 27 (02:29:35):
You raise your frustration strength and thing know the thor
and to be random.

Speaker 6 (02:29:42):
Man, and how it's go.

Speaker 21 (02:29:47):
Every time I love the way I'm feeling like I'm
lover saying distressing.

Speaker 17 (02:29:51):
It's like, man, I think this feeling.

Speaker 21 (02:29:52):
And it's great, and all the birds all that this paintings,
I mean the way I'm trying, So why not you
breaking something into.

Speaker 17 (02:30:01):
She thought up hers all that make this paint inside
make a little way I'm trying, So why not to
breaking something for temptage?

Speaker 25 (02:30:14):
Every time I love some way, I'm feeling like I'm
will he take this for she is?

Speaker 17 (02:30:19):
I can't I.

Speaker 21 (02:30:19):
Take this feeling And it's crazy that i'ts on hers
all that make this paintings I think come away.

Speaker 17 (02:30:25):
I'm turning, So why not to breaking something?

Speaker 6 (02:30:27):
I feel temptation?

Speaker 3 (02:30:29):
You know.

Speaker 17 (02:30:32):
She thought of hers all that make this paint inside
may go away.

Speaker 15 (02:30:39):
I'm trying, So why not to breaking something?

Speaker 6 (02:30:41):
I feel temptage?

Speaker 1 (02:30:43):
What you don't go with her.

Speaker 17 (02:30:46):
But if she finds out on breaking her, it's what
you don't voting.

Speaker 14 (02:30:51):
Me wasting her time taking up them but graded okay
somewhere all right, So what you don't know with her?

Speaker 17 (02:31:00):
But if she finds out her baby and.

Speaker 19 (02:31:03):
What, she don't want to be wasting.

Speaker 17 (02:31:06):
Her time and taking up them with branding and messing.

Speaker 1 (02:31:09):
With her, she go, she go, she told, she told,
she told, don't want anything messing with her.

Speaker 8 (02:31:17):
Boy, she goes, She don't, she go, she go, she go,
woman messing with her, she go, she go, she go,
she go, she don't she don't want in messing with her.

Speaker 19 (02:31:31):
She don't, she don't, she don't, she don't.

Speaker 15 (02:31:35):
She go, woo me messing with her?

Speaker 19 (02:31:37):
Mon't don't don't want me?

Speaker 6 (02:31:44):
That's what my love.

Speaker 17 (02:31:46):
I'm like, I'm feeling like I want her to say this.
It's like I take this feeling and.

Speaker 21 (02:31:51):
This great I'm telling her, it's all that make this
grain inside me. Got like I'm trying so hard not
you bringing.

Speaker 26 (02:31:57):
Something, and she.

Speaker 21 (02:32:02):
Sure thoughts of hers all that make this pain inside
me go. Way, I'm trying so I'm not too breaking
something to damptage.

Speaker 27 (02:32:13):
Every time I'm away, I'm feeling Like I say this, trus,
I can't I shake this feeling and.

Speaker 21 (02:32:19):
This breaking thoughts of hers, all that this pain inside
me go. Way, I'm trying so I'm not too breaking.
Something in temptationed she know s thoughts of hers all
that big, this pain inside me go way, I'm trying
so I'm not too breaking.

Speaker 6 (02:32:39):
Something damptage.

Speaker 8 (02:32:41):
She can't.

Speaker 19 (02:32:42):
She don't, she don't, she too?

Speaker 7 (02:32:44):
She don't woman sit with her boy, she.

Speaker 19 (02:32:48):
Goes, She don't.

Speaker 3 (02:32:49):
She don't.

Speaker 19 (02:32:50):
She don't, she don't.

Speaker 17 (02:32:52):
Who mesten with her

Speaker 6 (02:33:00):
Ey