June 26, 2025 • 28 mins
A spin-off from a popular series, this show centers on a well-meaning but bumbling character whose everyday misadventures provide wholesome entertainment.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Craft presents the Great Kilder Slaves each week.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
At this time, Craft presents from Hollywood, California, Harold Perry
as the Great Kilder Slave, written by Leonard l Evanston.
We'll hear from the Great Yielders leave in just a moment.
But here's something I'd personally be puzzling about if ira
a housewife these days, and that's the problem of how
(00:39):
to serve my family all the wholesome, nutritious foods they
need and still keep within my budget. Well, here's one
way to help solve that problem, and it's a mighty
pleasant boy too. Yes, for nourishment your family needs and
for flavor they're short of, light, serve them delicious economical
parquet Marghinon made by Craft. You see, Park Margarine is
(01:02):
a highly nutritious food that's one of the best sources
of food energy and the Park's natural wholesome goodness. Craft
ad vitamin A nine thousand units to every single pound.
But rich food value isn't all important to is Park
Margarin's flavor, that delicate, appetizing taste that makes it the
favorite of thousands of families for table use, for seasoning,
(01:26):
for baking, and for pan frying. Just one taste will
tell you about Park's flavor. So why not try delicious
Park margarine tomorrow. Yes, ask your dealer for Park Pa
r kay. And now let's visit our friends. A great
(01:54):
guilder slave.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Don't eat your luncheon so fast, Leroy, Yes.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
Lee Roy, where do you think you're going in such
a hurry? Saw fire?
Speaker 4 (02:11):
Uncle, march in there quarter to burn the leaves, say
lead's brunning. Might be a good business for me to
go into.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
Better get outside, Leroy.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
There's a wind coming up in your libry to blow
your business. Ride down the street.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
Okay, there, anybody see my sweater?
Speaker 1 (02:26):
Yes, hello Berdy, come on in, Judge, thank you well,
Hello Ted, Hello Judge o Ker. This is an unexpected pleasure.
Speaker 5 (02:37):
Would you gentlemen care to indulge in a couple of
concert No, No, I'm only going to stay a moment. Mister
Wills and I have a little method we want to
discuss with you guilders. Leap in contest.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Oh surely, surely, let's go into the library.
Speaker 5 (02:47):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
Well, Leroy. What are you looking for my sweater? I
left it here somewhere, Yes, on my moosehead. That's no
place for sweater. I put it in your room ranks.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
Ah Hi, judge, Hey, who is what's gonna win the
game tomorrow?
Speaker 1 (03:01):
Be Royce. We've got some business to talk over. Please
imitate a priority and make yourself scarce. Twenty three schedo,
twenty thigh scado Yes, cram h I get yes.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
Twy spacekdo must be no kind of jive?
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Why all I play that the jazz jive?
Speaker 5 (03:19):
Well, now that we are alone, let's get to the point.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Yes, let's get right to the point. Judge, what is
the point?
Speaker 5 (03:24):
Well, Ted tells me that you're interested in civic a
municipal affair.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
Yes, I am. It was Thomas Jefferson who said, Or
was it Benjamin Franklin. No, it was Thomas Jefferson who said.
What did he say? Well, whatever it was, you can
be sure it was right to the point. Judge.
Speaker 5 (03:42):
We've got an organization here in Summerfield Guild us Leave
known as the CGAH. We strive to make our city
of Tina and clean up place to live in. And
now that you've become a resident of Summerfield, we want
you as a member.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Well that's a great honor. I'm not sure that I
deserve it. Judge, By the way, what is the CGA,
the Clean.
Speaker 6 (04:00):
Government Association TP I suggested that you were.
Speaker 7 (04:03):
Just the man to add the proper weight, I mean
the proper weight in the right place.
Speaker 5 (04:10):
We want you to head the committee investigating conditions at
our city jail.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
Oh well city jail? Well well thanks, what's wrong down there?
Speaker 5 (04:17):
If I told you what's going on is make your
mustache cur The place can't hold onto us.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
Guess what's the trouble?
Speaker 5 (04:23):
Poor service, No prisoners keep escaping, turnover suspiciously high.
Speaker 6 (04:28):
We're getting ready to demand the cleanup.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
We want to get rid of the jailer.
Speaker 6 (04:31):
Everybody says he's made the place what it is.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
Yeah, well, it sounds like he's created quite a stir.
Speaker 5 (04:39):
But we've got no evidence that we can put before
the grand jury. We need the testimony or a reputable
citizen who can gather the facts secretly.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Well, now, how did we do that?
Speaker 6 (04:47):
One of our members offered to have himself arrested on
some minor charge just so that he could get inside information.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
A splendid idea, it would have.
Speaker 5 (04:54):
Been, except everybody knows him, the jailer and his gang.
It's smell o rassy impact.
Speaker 6 (04:59):
All our man, A prominent, well known citizen.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
Oh that's too bad, would have been a peachy player.
Speaker 5 (05:04):
Well if there was some good, substantial citizen who is
new here in some.
Speaker 6 (05:08):
Upfield, Yes, who wouldn't be recognized when he broke some
petty law and landed in jail.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Oh that's right, A new man, A very excellent all
of you, don't I can see what's coming. I'm the
guy you're leading up to. I won't do it.
Speaker 5 (05:22):
Well, you're chin in jealously. I'm disappointed in you. I
thought you were going to be a useful citizen.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
But I don't like jails.
Speaker 5 (05:29):
What's wrong with him?
Speaker 1 (05:29):
I don't want to find out what's wrong with him?
The one thing, they're too confining. They give me claustrophobia.
Speaker 5 (05:35):
Oh, poppy cock, that's just your imagination.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
It is not. I've got claustrophobia so bad I can't
even wear a double breasted best. But you're just the
man we need.
Speaker 6 (05:44):
Where else can we find someone with your alertness and
intelligence and daring No place.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Thanks for the compliment ed, I appreciate the honor too,
But no matter how tenuse slice, it is still thirty
days in the clink.
Speaker 5 (05:56):
Oh what's the used head? He's all bull and bellow,
beef and brawn.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
No, look here, you one more crack like that and
I'll fracture your skull with a hot marshmallow.
Speaker 5 (06:06):
Guildersleeve. You couldn't fracture a postag without getting winded.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Why you little legal in head. I've got a good idea.
Speaker 5 (06:13):
Oh you haven't had a good idea since you put
on long pants.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
That settles its head. Don't hold me back. I'm good, gentleman.
Speaker 5 (06:19):
Please please, this is a meeting about law and order.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
Just because he's a law he can't order me around.
Speaker 5 (06:23):
I am not trying to order you around, guildy old man.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Oh so now I'm an old man.
Speaker 5 (06:30):
I stop acting like a baby. You had any ecumption
you'd help us clean up this town, guildless sleeve. It
could lead to a long and honorable civic career. Someday
they'd put your statue in the park. Who knows, maybe
they'd even name the park after you think of it,
the frock Morton Peek Guildersleeve Memorial Park.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
Memorial Park. You quit burying me. I'm not dead yet.
Put this plan is foolproof.
Speaker 6 (06:55):
TP the minute you have all the evidence, let us
know and judge Hooker will get you out of jail
with the retipabous corporate sure to see or will you
do it?
Speaker 1 (07:02):
What do you say, TP, Well, I didn't know about that,
as the behaviors about that, then you'll do it well.
If I really can make this town a cleaner, finer
place to live in. Yes, what am I saying?
Speaker 5 (07:15):
I knew he'd do it d well with our first move,
Guilda's got to get himself arrested for some minor offense.
I left c What could he do? I know, go downtown,
guild a sleeve and pick a fight with a policeman.
Got back, make him mad.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
Assassin say, that's something I've always wanted to do. Assass
a cop. This is gonna be fun.
Speaker 5 (07:38):
Yeah, maybe that'll pick a small cop.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
Well, if everything is settled, I'll drive you home. Kat
All right now, boys, don't forget Hooker. When I give
the CGA the so os, you get me out. PDQ. Well,
how do you like your uncle's new fall out there? Why?
Speaker 3 (08:02):
Uncle Mud, you.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
Look like a tramp.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
Yeah, what's the idea of the dark glasses?
Speaker 1 (08:07):
I'm going downtown to have myself arrested.
Speaker 3 (08:10):
What's the matter. Who's a bet on the Dodgers?
Speaker 1 (08:12):
Yeh, no, Leroy, I'm only doing this to help make
summer Field a finer, cleaner place to live. Its not
going to jail, yes, I don't tell us so, but
I'm going there to investigate conditions for the Clean Government Association.
Speaker 4 (08:24):
Oh I didn't understand you don't you get a chest
honk something like a g man?
Speaker 1 (08:29):
Poor boy? Wait'll I tell a gang, Lee Roy? If
one word leaks out about this, I'll be throwing right
out of jail.
Speaker 3 (08:34):
Oh, junker, I wouldn't want that to happen. I'll keep quiet.
But I still don't understand why you're wearing those terrible
looking old clothes. Yeah, boy, is that a corny outfist.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
It's a disguise, Leroy, you like it. It's an old
sack suit, n suit? Huh?
Speaker 3 (08:49):
Who's like I forgot to take out the potatoes.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
Yeah, well it's seven or eight years oldly Roy. I
wonder if suit's fitted tighter then, or if I've expanded.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
You wear those pants? Uncle Morse. You can't stand up
in jail all the time.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
Excuse me, miss Mark?
Speaker 3 (09:07):
Who that man?
Speaker 1 (09:08):
What you want with these children. Go ahead, you trying
take it easy? Bertie. It's me mister guilty sleeve. You sure, why?
Of course?
Speaker 3 (09:14):
Well you don't write me from get a Christmas? What
you doing dressed up like a chair.
Speaker 5 (09:18):
Crowl and not so skinny?
Speaker 1 (09:22):
Well, well, Bertie, is the truth of the matter is,
don't tell.
Speaker 3 (09:26):
Her uncle Morse.
Speaker 4 (09:27):
You know how women are, so I can't keep a secret.
She'll be telling it all around town before you even
get to jail.
Speaker 3 (09:32):
Jail, You'll go to jail.
Speaker 5 (09:34):
You'll goot to guilty.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
What are you going to the brokey?
Speaker 3 (09:40):
Why didn't I tell you? She's starting to broadcast.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Already, Leroy, Are you spill the beans yourself?
Speaker 3 (09:45):
What bes now? What's going on round here?
Speaker 1 (09:47):
Marsh You will explain to you later, Bertie. And meanwhile,
if you just keep quiet and don't mention this to anybody,
I'll be able to get any jail without any trouble.
You will.
Speaker 8 (09:54):
Well, there's a lot of things I could fit this point,
but I'm just gonna keep my mouth shut.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
I run along, Bertie. I'll explain to you later on
if I ever find out myself.
Speaker 5 (10:03):
Okay, But I've got a feeling in my bones and
it ain't rheumatism.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
Well, what do you think children? Do I look shabby enough?
Speaker 3 (10:10):
Sure? You look pretty good? That is pretty bad? Pretty good?
And don't you think so much? Well, I don't know.
Speaker 8 (10:17):
It's something that doesn't quite fit in with a wrist.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Oh oh yeah, your mustache stock I'll see here, Marjorie.
I'm not going to shave off my mustache, even if
it means I won't be able to get into that jail.
Speaker 3 (10:29):
Oh, you needn't shave it, just tim it a little
so I won't look for that.
Speaker 7 (10:32):
No, yes, come on, here's the bird.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
Man is here?
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Nothing going? Don't you care? Touch your hair?
Speaker 3 (10:37):
Does have LeRoi? Okay, fill stop that quick.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
It's taking me years to stop, Marjorie. You'll ruin the shape.
Feel leave my mustache alone. That's my nose. You're twimmy.
Speaker 3 (11:03):
You thing all right?
Speaker 4 (11:04):
Unclemore?
Speaker 1 (11:04):
Well, my upper lip was kind of cold.
Speaker 4 (11:07):
Keep it stuff, uncle, It looks great. Hey, is it
all right if we stick around and watch you get arrested?
Speaker 1 (11:12):
I should say not. I wouldn't have even let you
drive me downtown if that conductor hadn't torn me off
the street car.
Speaker 8 (11:17):
Hey, how do you plan to get arrested Uncle Moore.
I hope you're not going to do anything against the law.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
Well, nothing really bad. I'm just gonna tease a cop. Well,
I have fun getting that cop, mad Re Marsh.
Speaker 3 (11:28):
I see a policeman coming down the street. See him?
Speaker 5 (11:31):
Boy here a big guy too am for march.
Speaker 3 (11:35):
You're not stopping?
Speaker 1 (11:36):
No sense in taking just the first policeman you see?
Leroy coo, what's wrong with this one? Well, I'd kind
of like to shop around for a little for a
little while.
Speaker 3 (11:45):
I mean, you know how hard policeman not to find
when you want one? Now get a chance? Hey, young
can't you born?
Speaker 1 (11:52):
Well all right if you insist, come on answer, don't
rust me, young man?
Speaker 3 (11:58):
Well what are we waiting for?
Speaker 1 (12:00):
I just don't know how to begin this.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
Why don't you just bump into it?
Speaker 1 (12:02):
Look how big he is. It wouldn't be any fun
in that and step on his corn? Yes, step on
his corn. It's like putting one foot in the grave.
Oh yeah, before he's hat huh quit pushing me out
of the Collie Royds. I'll stop that.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
Oo.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
Say look where you're going? You you stepped right on
my foot, I did, officer. Well, why don't you keep
those big flat feet out of my way? Ye are big?
Speaker 5 (12:25):
Hunt h.
Speaker 7 (12:31):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (12:32):
Yes, they are big and clumsy too, that's true.
Speaker 5 (12:35):
You know I have the worst time with him, especially
when I then.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
Yes, I'm not interested in your lossing dogs on my
way before I get thus.
Speaker 5 (12:43):
Don't don't shout.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
I've got a splitting headache as it is. Oh you have,
I'll shout if I want to. Yes, by George, I
like to see you're stopping. Oh really, really, mister, If
you're going to create a disturbance, I'm not going to
stand here and take it. You're not a What are
you going to do? I'm going home bed. Oh wait
a minute. Aren't you going to arrest me?
Speaker 3 (13:04):
Ooh?
Speaker 1 (13:06):
A taxpayer? I insist on being arrested.
Speaker 5 (13:08):
Well, in that chase, you better find a policeman.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
Yeah, aren't you a policeman? Don't tell us so. But
I'm just getting home from a masquerade ball. I wish
you two children would stop following me around. You're just
a jink. No matter what I try, I can't get
(13:31):
myself arrested.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
Did you walk on the grass in the park and
pick the flowers.
Speaker 7 (13:35):
Like I told you to do?
Speaker 1 (13:36):
Yes? But that didn't work. You could have waited, police
I did, nor he did was wink at me.
Speaker 3 (13:40):
How about jaywalking? No, I sing people for that these days.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
I tried jaywalking right on a busy street.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
What happened?
Speaker 1 (13:46):
A couple of big trucks just missed me and ran
into each other.
Speaker 3 (13:48):
And the officer didn't arrest you.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
No, he was too busy separating the trunt drivers. I
even tried to steal a mounted policeman's horse.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
I should land of just smacking a horse down.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
Well, it would have, except this was a burglar proof horse.
What do you You just sat down in the gunner
and refused to move.
Speaker 3 (14:04):
Maybe you better give up, Uncle Moore.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
No, sir, I'm just as stubborn as the police department.
I'm going to jail this afternoon. If it takes me
all night.
Speaker 3 (14:10):
I've been thinking, I know it'll do the trick.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
What is it, my boy? What is it?
Speaker 3 (14:14):
That pile of bricks?
Speaker 1 (14:15):
The bricks? Yes, and you're a pretty straw window LeRoi.
I don't want to hurt those shopkeepers.
Speaker 4 (14:20):
Okay, then how about that row of empty stores across
the street. You couldn't hurt anybody there.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
You're a bright boy, leroy. Now you children, go back
to the car and pretend you don't know.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
All right, So long, Uncle Moore. I'll do you make
it this time?
Speaker 1 (14:34):
Ye? Thanks, better take an armful in case I miss well.
Here go. It doesn't seem to attract any attention. I
better try again. What kind of a neighborhood is this? Well,
i'll wake him up this time. Oh this is fun.
(15:06):
What's wrong, Marjorie?
Speaker 3 (15:07):
You look at this kind of those windows?
Speaker 1 (15:08):
You grow signs? Where?
Speaker 7 (15:10):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (15:10):
Yes, these stores for rent by the forest or estate frock, Martin's,
t Gillers leave agent.
Speaker 8 (15:15):
Oh my, come go on, I here comes the guy who,
as I told you, and I can't keep you out
of the coop.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
Oh but this is ridiculously roy. I'm a little embarrassed.
I'll get stage fright.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
Will you set up? Was for a worthy cause? I'll
be waiting.
Speaker 1 (15:37):
I don't like this. Excuse me, buddy, But could you
sparadigm for a worthy cup of coffee? Why? Sure, pal,
I've been up. I guess it myself. Here's a quarter.
Oh keep it up later.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
So many sort of complain to the cup on the corner.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Oh, the think a Giller's leave hustling handouts on the
highway there, okay makes me feel like a cat. Pardon me, lady,
because you bear a dime for a cup of coffee.
Speaker 8 (16:01):
Why you, poor man, I'll do better than that.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
I'm going to take you to the nearest restaurant and buy.
Speaker 3 (16:05):
You a nice hot meal.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
But madam, I've had my luncheon already. I just forgot
to drink buy coffee. No, leroy, I simply refuse to
ask another person for another dime for another cup of coffee. Why,
I've collected over seven dollars already here, So give it
a some worthy charity, sorry, the fund to buy glasses
(16:29):
for near sided policeman.
Speaker 3 (16:30):
What are you going to do now?
Speaker 1 (16:31):
I'm giving up. I never knew it would be so
hard to get yourself arrested. Come on, your sister's waiting
in the car. Oh, look that lady dropped her purse
handed here, leroy. Thanks, which lady was it, the one
with a hat like a waffle? Hey, lady, leroy, you
go to the car while I run ahead and give
it back to her.
Speaker 6 (16:48):
Lady.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
Oh, oh, lady, hell lady, old lady, lady. I've been
whistling at.
Speaker 5 (16:58):
You for a block.
Speaker 3 (16:59):
I heard, how dare you follow me?
Speaker 1 (17:02):
I wasn't following you. I was trying to catch you.
Here's your first lady, you dropped it back there. I
did not, but I thought I saw you.
Speaker 8 (17:08):
I have my purse right here in my hands.
Speaker 3 (17:10):
That was jess nixcuse just stop me and try to
furst you measure.
Speaker 8 (17:14):
Yes, a girl isn't safe anymore with wolves like you
roaming the street.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
Woof no, she here. I wish there was a policeman around.
Speaker 3 (17:21):
I teach you a liston.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
Quiet, lady, you're attracting me, proul.
Speaker 8 (17:24):
Why you want to be ashamed? You're twistling and shouting
at a poor girl.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
Girl.
Speaker 3 (17:28):
You wouldn't be so bold and patsy if my brother
in law was here.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
To track me. Oh my, juse me, lady, Maybe I
can help you.
Speaker 5 (17:35):
Cliss quiet, please?
Speaker 1 (17:36):
Quiet? Yes? Quiet? What's wrong?
Speaker 8 (17:39):
This man is bothering me?
Speaker 1 (17:41):
I am not move on from your father and the lady.
But I just ran after her. It bothered and I'll
run away, but I want to give her this purse.
Speaker 5 (17:48):
I don't want your whole purse, my purse, she says,
she don't want your press, and I'll beat it.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
All right, mister, if you wait a second, Who are
you to tell me I should beat it? I'm a
deputy sheriff. See if they don't want to be pulling
from But I swear this. Oh is this your first? Oh?
I thought along to the other lady in a lady's
pocket boots too. Now I got you on to chat
Mashion and trist natchal. But I tell you definitely I'm innocent.
(18:15):
Oh yeah, come on.
Speaker 5 (18:16):
Now, Patty, let's get down to the Sheriff's off.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
Well. I just saw it lying there on the sidewalk, mister,
and I thought, are you coming quietly? Or do I
have to drag you to jail? I won't come quietly.
You can't make me if what you're going to take
me to jails? You catch you on fat?
Speaker 5 (18:29):
Well?
Speaker 1 (18:30):
Why didn't you say so? Come on? Come on, come on,
I just can't wait till we get there. In here,
Patso that's so, come on step in there. You think
(18:51):
I'm going to carry you across the cresholds? No, no,
I'll walk.
Speaker 5 (18:57):
It's spotless. You got a room mate?
Speaker 1 (19:00):
Show this guy the rope.
Speaker 7 (19:01):
Sure well, make yourself at home, bunkie.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
What's your name Giler's leave. Fuck Morton, p boy.
Speaker 7 (19:10):
Did you pick yourself a pony Monika?
Speaker 6 (19:12):
What?
Speaker 7 (19:12):
Nobody'd ever believe that one?
Speaker 1 (19:14):
But I assure you, sir, that's my name. Let's look here.
I don't want to stay around here a moment longer,
isn't I have to? Who does? How's their chances of
getting out?
Speaker 7 (19:24):
I don't know you got a good lawyer?
Speaker 1 (19:26):
No, no, no, I mean, how's how's chances of escaping?
Speaker 7 (19:29):
You mean take it on the lamb?
Speaker 1 (19:31):
Well, if you want to be technically.
Speaker 7 (19:32):
Yes, not a chance in the world, bunkie. This joint
is air tight.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
But I've heard otherwise.
Speaker 7 (19:39):
Yeah, sure, so did I. But I'm still here?
Speaker 3 (19:41):
What why?
Speaker 7 (19:42):
I bet I tried everything and I know all the tricks.
Speaker 1 (19:46):
It's you do.
Speaker 7 (19:47):
Yeah, that's why I'm here on account of busting out
of all the other joints.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
But I was told that lots of you, Robert Chaps
got freeze.
Speaker 7 (19:55):
Then somebody gave you a bump steer pal. Why this
is the price that gave him the idea for rob
got you? Oh my goodness, nobody's ever cracked this jug.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
Oh, I can hardly believe that.
Speaker 7 (20:06):
Oh no, huh, Well, I'll show you, Hey, Jeffany, Yeah,
what is it's fun? Anybody ever escaped out of this cooler?
Speaker 1 (20:14):
No, nobody's ever escaped out of this cooler? Oh hey, yes,
let lay Yes sir, you got visited. Oh come on,
fine message. Judge Hooker and Ted have gotten me into
him hot cool old children? Are you all right?
Speaker 3 (20:30):
Uncle three? You made it after Alden junks? How did
you manage to do?
Speaker 1 (20:33):
Oh it's a long story, Marjorie. Remind me to tell
that the some cold winter night when we've got nothing
better to do. Now, I want you to get a
hold of Ted and Judge Hooker. Tell them that their
information was all wrong. Nobody's ever escaped out of this cooler.
Speaker 3 (20:44):
You mean it's just a life in your time.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
That's it, exactly, Roy. Now you tell them to get
me out of this rabbit hutch quick like a bunny.
Speaker 6 (21:05):
Judge Hooker, Chambers, let me talk to Judge Hooker please
this Ted Will's thinking, Oh sorry, will he just left?
I see you?
Speaker 2 (21:10):
When'll he be back?
Speaker 1 (21:11):
Well in about a week, he said, a week.
Speaker 7 (21:13):
He can't do that.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
Oh, yes he can. He's just gone to New York
and good, but he can't go. He's left someone in
the lurch. Oh my goodness, where's the judge stopping.
Speaker 6 (21:21):
In New York?
Speaker 4 (21:22):
Well, he hadn't decided he's going to let me know
what's the trouble.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
He's left an innocent man here in jail. Oh that's
what all you lawyers say. Goodbye, Marge Lee Roy. What
are we gonna do?
Speaker 3 (21:32):
Poor uncle more?
Speaker 9 (21:33):
Yeah, poor uncle Moore?
Speaker 1 (21:50):
Hal you know the reason why I'm going to get
out of this jail by and.
Speaker 5 (21:56):
By stop but stop at track one.
Speaker 7 (22:00):
But that's all you've been doing all day long? What
are you so cheerful about?
Speaker 1 (22:04):
You? Soon, see, Spud, I'll be out of here quick
and you can walk across the cell.
Speaker 7 (22:08):
Yeah, well cut out. That's singing. I'm funny, stand up
without that.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
I can't help it. I'm happy about leaving this place.
I've just got to say, darling, you and I.
Speaker 6 (22:19):
Guilllessly.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
Uh you gotta visit. Oh you see spun? What did
I tell you? Thank you? Definitely, Doli, you and I
know the reason why I am such a happy guy.
Oh well, Bertie, I'm glad to see it. Where is everybody?
Speaker 3 (22:35):
They was praid to come down?
Speaker 1 (22:36):
Mister gil Slee's afraid? What were they afraid of praidy you.
Speaker 3 (22:39):
They send me down to break the bad news?
Speaker 1 (22:41):
What bad news?
Speaker 5 (22:43):
Judge? Hook it on on for good, all about you
and let New York for all week? What yes, sir,
I told you something bad.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
Is gonna happen. He can't do this to me, Bertie,
Did you bring me a habeas harpers?
Speaker 3 (22:53):
I'm fine, Miss gill Sleave. All I brought you was
a roast chicken.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
I don't want to roast chicken. I would hey, I
do want to ROAs chickens.
Speaker 5 (23:00):
It demand at the door.
Speaker 3 (23:01):
You don't take it away?
Speaker 2 (23:02):
Some him?
Speaker 1 (23:02):
Why Patty Chiler?
Speaker 3 (23:03):
But I don't think he's gonna enjoy it?
Speaker 1 (23:05):
Why not? I thought it was some little.
Speaker 3 (23:08):
Stalls sometimes and the milk gun.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
Let me out of here. You can't keep me in here.
It's against the law, got barton.
Speaker 7 (23:28):
If you don't shut up to what's gonna send you
to solitary?
Speaker 1 (23:31):
Let him send me to any place, as long as
it's out of here.
Speaker 7 (23:34):
You know you're the stroliest cell made. I have a
room with funky Yes. The other person is a circulating
a petition demanding your remobile. Oh now, why don't you
just sit down like a good little coll and write
another letter to the newspaper.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
No, I've been praying the double cross, and they were
gonna name a statue after me in the memorial Park.
I'm really a member of the Clean Government Association.
Speaker 7 (23:54):
Well, you certainly don't act like it. In the past
three days, you've tried to set the cell on five
four times, and the rest of the time you're either
trying to bribe the gods or you're organizing a jail breaks.
Uldus leave skew ain't playing the game.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
I don't want to play any games. I just want
to play the anvil chorus on a certain judge's head
with a baseball bat. All right, guildous, leave, get your things,
you're leaving, leaving. I am oh, I can hardly believe that.
Oh this makes me very happy.
Speaker 8 (24:28):
That makes it unanimous.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
Oh goodbye, spud Ah, try try to keep out of
mischief from now on, spud Well, goodbye, boys, behave yourself. Yeah, yeah,
glad to Bob, you're prey. Oh hello children, Yeah, Hello Ted,
(24:52):
Hello hooker. Hell well, it took you long enough to
get me out of here.
Speaker 5 (24:57):
How guilly, it was all a mistake.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
Let's not discuss it. Here. Shall we go? Yes, But
first I want to ask you two great city leaders
a question. Where did you get your pony information from
a fortune tower?
Speaker 5 (25:07):
It wasn't pony. And why did you have to yell
your head off about our investigation?
Speaker 1 (25:11):
It's all over town? Now? What difference does that make? Now, hooker,
there's nothing to prosecute here. The jail is escape proof.
I found that out, and from what I saw, it's
run on the level too, of course it is.
Speaker 6 (25:20):
I knew that all along.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
And why are the name of common sister? Just send
me here? That's just it.
Speaker 5 (25:24):
We didn't tell you to come here, Gillless leave what No,
this is a county jail. We told you to go
to the city jail.
Speaker 9 (25:29):
Oh the great jailer's lay will be weap us again
(25:50):
in a few minutes.
Speaker 2 (25:52):
But right now, I wonder how many of you housewives
baked the cake or some cookies yesterday for your Sunday
dinner today. A lot of you did, I'm sure, because
there's nothing like that real home baked flavor. Well, here's
a hint for the next time you bake. For luscious
extra flavor in cookies, cakes, or pastries, use delicious parquet
margarine for the shortening. You see park margarine as a
(26:12):
genuine flavor shortening, not just a bland, tasteless fat. Yes,
the same delicious flavor that makes park grand for table
use makes it marvelous for baking too, And that's why
so many women also use Parkue margin for seasoning hot
vegetables and for pan frying. But whether you use Parkue
margarine at the tables for seasoning, for baking or for
(26:32):
pan frying, you're adding valuable nourishment to your family's diets.
And every pound of park contains nine thousand units of
vitamin A. And remember good as parks taste and nourishing
as it is, Park is so economical you can use
all you want. So why not join the thousands of
Park users and order a pound or two tomorrow? Just
(26:53):
ask for Park par Kay, it's the margarine that's made
by Crass.
Speaker 7 (28:04):
Hello rock Morton, Yes, rock Morton, this is but I
I just phoned it.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
Tell you I gave you a bump steer. You did well?
Speaker 7 (28:15):
Somebody did escape out of that cooler?
Speaker 1 (28:17):
They did? Who me?
Speaker 7 (28:19):
So long's.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
You're not playing the game? Good night?
Speaker 2 (28:34):
It was no music heard on This program was composed
and conducted by William Ramboph This is Jim Bannon thinking
for the Craft Cheese Company and in Batting You. The
bus is again next week at the same time, but
the further adventures of the Drake guildless lave.
Speaker 9 (28:47):
This is the National Broadcasting Company.
Craft presents the Great Kilder Slaves each week.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
At this time, Craft presents from Hollywood, California, Harold Perry
as the Great Kilder Slave, written by Leonard l Evanston.
We'll hear from the Great Yielders leave in just a moment.
But here's something I'd personally be puzzling about if ira
a housewife these days, and that's the problem of how
(00:39):
to serve my family all the wholesome, nutritious foods they
need and still keep within my budget. Well, here's one
way to help solve that problem, and it's a mighty
pleasant boy too. Yes, for nourishment your family needs and
for flavor they're short of, light, serve them delicious economical
parquet Marghinon made by Craft. You see, Park Margarine is
(01:02):
a highly nutritious food that's one of the best sources
of food energy and the Park's natural wholesome goodness. Craft
ad vitamin A nine thousand units to every single pound.
But rich food value isn't all important to is Park
Margarin's flavor, that delicate, appetizing taste that makes it the
favorite of thousands of families for table use, for seasoning,
(01:26):
for baking, and for pan frying. Just one taste will
tell you about Park's flavor. So why not try delicious
Park margarine tomorrow. Yes, ask your dealer for Park Pa
r kay. And now let's visit our friends. A great
(01:54):
guilder slave.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Don't eat your luncheon so fast, Leroy, Yes.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
Lee Roy, where do you think you're going in such
a hurry? Saw fire?
Speaker 4 (02:11):
Uncle, march in there quarter to burn the leaves, say
lead's brunning. Might be a good business for me to
go into.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
Better get outside, Leroy.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
There's a wind coming up in your libry to blow
your business. Ride down the street.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
Okay, there, anybody see my sweater?
Speaker 1 (02:26):
Yes, hello Berdy, come on in, Judge, thank you well,
Hello Ted, Hello Judge o Ker. This is an unexpected pleasure.
Speaker 5 (02:37):
Would you gentlemen care to indulge in a couple of
concert No, No, I'm only going to stay a moment. Mister
Wills and I have a little method we want to
discuss with you guilders. Leap in contest.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Oh surely, surely, let's go into the library.
Speaker 5 (02:47):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
Well, Leroy. What are you looking for my sweater? I
left it here somewhere, Yes, on my moosehead. That's no
place for sweater. I put it in your room ranks.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
Ah Hi, judge, Hey, who is what's gonna win the
game tomorrow?
Speaker 1 (03:01):
Be Royce. We've got some business to talk over. Please
imitate a priority and make yourself scarce. Twenty three schedo,
twenty thigh scado Yes, cram h I get yes.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
Twy spacekdo must be no kind of jive?
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Why all I play that the jazz jive?
Speaker 5 (03:19):
Well, now that we are alone, let's get to the point.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Yes, let's get right to the point. Judge, what is
the point?
Speaker 5 (03:24):
Well, Ted tells me that you're interested in civic a
municipal affair.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
Yes, I am. It was Thomas Jefferson who said, Or
was it Benjamin Franklin. No, it was Thomas Jefferson who said.
What did he say? Well, whatever it was, you can
be sure it was right to the point. Judge.
Speaker 5 (03:42):
We've got an organization here in Summerfield Guild us Leave
known as the CGAH. We strive to make our city
of Tina and clean up place to live in. And
now that you've become a resident of Summerfield, we want
you as a member.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Well that's a great honor. I'm not sure that I
deserve it. Judge, By the way, what is the CGA,
the Clean.
Speaker 6 (04:00):
Government Association TP I suggested that you were.
Speaker 7 (04:03):
Just the man to add the proper weight, I mean
the proper weight in the right place.
Speaker 5 (04:10):
We want you to head the committee investigating conditions at
our city jail.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
Oh well city jail? Well well thanks, what's wrong down there?
Speaker 5 (04:17):
If I told you what's going on is make your
mustache cur The place can't hold onto us.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
Guess what's the trouble?
Speaker 5 (04:23):
Poor service, No prisoners keep escaping, turnover suspiciously high.
Speaker 6 (04:28):
We're getting ready to demand the cleanup.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
We want to get rid of the jailer.
Speaker 6 (04:31):
Everybody says he's made the place what it is.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
Yeah, well, it sounds like he's created quite a stir.
Speaker 5 (04:39):
But we've got no evidence that we can put before
the grand jury. We need the testimony or a reputable
citizen who can gather the facts secretly.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Well, now, how did we do that?
Speaker 6 (04:47):
One of our members offered to have himself arrested on
some minor charge just so that he could get inside information.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
A splendid idea, it would have.
Speaker 5 (04:54):
Been, except everybody knows him, the jailer and his gang.
It's smell o rassy impact.
Speaker 6 (04:59):
All our man, A prominent, well known citizen.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
Oh that's too bad, would have been a peachy player.
Speaker 5 (05:04):
Well if there was some good, substantial citizen who is
new here in some.
Speaker 6 (05:08):
Upfield, Yes, who wouldn't be recognized when he broke some
petty law and landed in jail.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Oh that's right, A new man, A very excellent all
of you, don't I can see what's coming. I'm the
guy you're leading up to. I won't do it.
Speaker 5 (05:22):
Well, you're chin in jealously. I'm disappointed in you. I
thought you were going to be a useful citizen.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
But I don't like jails.
Speaker 5 (05:29):
What's wrong with him?
Speaker 1 (05:29):
I don't want to find out what's wrong with him?
The one thing, they're too confining. They give me claustrophobia.
Speaker 5 (05:35):
Oh, poppy cock, that's just your imagination.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
It is not. I've got claustrophobia so bad I can't
even wear a double breasted best. But you're just the
man we need.
Speaker 6 (05:44):
Where else can we find someone with your alertness and
intelligence and daring No place.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Thanks for the compliment ed, I appreciate the honor too,
But no matter how tenuse slice, it is still thirty
days in the clink.
Speaker 5 (05:56):
Oh what's the used head? He's all bull and bellow,
beef and brawn.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
No, look here, you one more crack like that and
I'll fracture your skull with a hot marshmallow.
Speaker 5 (06:06):
Guildersleeve. You couldn't fracture a postag without getting winded.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Why you little legal in head. I've got a good idea.
Speaker 5 (06:13):
Oh you haven't had a good idea since you put
on long pants.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
That settles its head. Don't hold me back. I'm good, gentleman.
Speaker 5 (06:19):
Please please, this is a meeting about law and order.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
Just because he's a law he can't order me around.
Speaker 5 (06:23):
I am not trying to order you around, guildy old man.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Oh so now I'm an old man.
Speaker 5 (06:30):
I stop acting like a baby. You had any ecumption
you'd help us clean up this town, guildless sleeve. It
could lead to a long and honorable civic career. Someday
they'd put your statue in the park. Who knows, maybe
they'd even name the park after you think of it,
the frock Morton Peek Guildersleeve Memorial Park.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
Memorial Park. You quit burying me. I'm not dead yet.
Put this plan is foolproof.
Speaker 6 (06:55):
TP the minute you have all the evidence, let us
know and judge Hooker will get you out of jail
with the retipabous corporate sure to see or will you
do it?
Speaker 1 (07:02):
What do you say, TP, Well, I didn't know about that,
as the behaviors about that, then you'll do it well.
If I really can make this town a cleaner, finer
place to live in. Yes, what am I saying?
Speaker 5 (07:15):
I knew he'd do it d well with our first move,
Guilda's got to get himself arrested for some minor offense.
I left c What could he do? I know, go downtown,
guild a sleeve and pick a fight with a policeman.
Got back, make him mad.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
Assassin say, that's something I've always wanted to do. Assass
a cop. This is gonna be fun.
Speaker 5 (07:38):
Yeah, maybe that'll pick a small cop.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
Well, if everything is settled, I'll drive you home. Kat
All right now, boys, don't forget Hooker. When I give
the CGA the so os, you get me out. PDQ. Well,
how do you like your uncle's new fall out there? Why?
Speaker 3 (08:02):
Uncle Mud, you.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
Look like a tramp.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
Yeah, what's the idea of the dark glasses?
Speaker 1 (08:07):
I'm going downtown to have myself arrested.
Speaker 3 (08:10):
What's the matter. Who's a bet on the Dodgers?
Speaker 1 (08:12):
Yeh, no, Leroy, I'm only doing this to help make
summer Field a finer, cleaner place to live. Its not
going to jail, yes, I don't tell us so, but
I'm going there to investigate conditions for the Clean Government Association.
Speaker 4 (08:24):
Oh I didn't understand you don't you get a chest
honk something like a g man?
Speaker 1 (08:29):
Poor boy? Wait'll I tell a gang, Lee Roy? If
one word leaks out about this, I'll be throwing right
out of jail.
Speaker 3 (08:34):
Oh, junker, I wouldn't want that to happen. I'll keep quiet.
But I still don't understand why you're wearing those terrible
looking old clothes. Yeah, boy, is that a corny outfist.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
It's a disguise, Leroy, you like it. It's an old
sack suit, n suit? Huh?
Speaker 3 (08:49):
Who's like I forgot to take out the potatoes.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
Yeah, well it's seven or eight years oldly Roy. I
wonder if suit's fitted tighter then, or if I've expanded.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
You wear those pants? Uncle Morse. You can't stand up
in jail all the time.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
Excuse me, miss Mark?
Speaker 3 (09:07):
Who that man?
Speaker 1 (09:08):
What you want with these children. Go ahead, you trying
take it easy? Bertie. It's me mister guilty sleeve. You sure, why?
Of course?
Speaker 3 (09:14):
Well you don't write me from get a Christmas? What
you doing dressed up like a chair.
Speaker 5 (09:18):
Crowl and not so skinny?
Speaker 1 (09:22):
Well, well, Bertie, is the truth of the matter is,
don't tell.
Speaker 3 (09:26):
Her uncle Morse.
Speaker 4 (09:27):
You know how women are, so I can't keep a secret.
She'll be telling it all around town before you even
get to jail.
Speaker 3 (09:32):
Jail, You'll go to jail.
Speaker 5 (09:34):
You'll goot to guilty.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
What are you going to the brokey?
Speaker 3 (09:40):
Why didn't I tell you? She's starting to broadcast.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Already, Leroy, Are you spill the beans yourself?
Speaker 3 (09:45):
What bes now? What's going on round here?
Speaker 1 (09:47):
Marsh You will explain to you later, Bertie. And meanwhile,
if you just keep quiet and don't mention this to anybody,
I'll be able to get any jail without any trouble.
You will.
Speaker 8 (09:54):
Well, there's a lot of things I could fit this point,
but I'm just gonna keep my mouth shut.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
I run along, Bertie. I'll explain to you later on
if I ever find out myself.
Speaker 5 (10:03):
Okay, But I've got a feeling in my bones and
it ain't rheumatism.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
Well, what do you think children? Do I look shabby enough?
Speaker 3 (10:10):
Sure? You look pretty good? That is pretty bad? Pretty good?
And don't you think so much? Well, I don't know.
Speaker 8 (10:17):
It's something that doesn't quite fit in with a wrist.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Oh oh yeah, your mustache stock I'll see here, Marjorie.
I'm not going to shave off my mustache, even if
it means I won't be able to get into that jail.
Speaker 3 (10:29):
Oh, you needn't shave it, just tim it a little
so I won't look for that.
Speaker 7 (10:32):
No, yes, come on, here's the bird.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
Man is here?
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Nothing going? Don't you care? Touch your hair?
Speaker 3 (10:37):
Does have LeRoi? Okay, fill stop that quick.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
It's taking me years to stop, Marjorie. You'll ruin the shape.
Feel leave my mustache alone. That's my nose. You're twimmy.
Speaker 3 (11:03):
You thing all right?
Speaker 4 (11:04):
Unclemore?
Speaker 1 (11:04):
Well, my upper lip was kind of cold.
Speaker 4 (11:07):
Keep it stuff, uncle, It looks great. Hey, is it
all right if we stick around and watch you get arrested?
Speaker 1 (11:12):
I should say not. I wouldn't have even let you
drive me downtown if that conductor hadn't torn me off
the street car.
Speaker 8 (11:17):
Hey, how do you plan to get arrested Uncle Moore.
I hope you're not going to do anything against the law.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
Well, nothing really bad. I'm just gonna tease a cop. Well,
I have fun getting that cop, mad Re Marsh.
Speaker 3 (11:28):
I see a policeman coming down the street. See him?
Speaker 5 (11:31):
Boy here a big guy too am for march.
Speaker 3 (11:35):
You're not stopping?
Speaker 1 (11:36):
No sense in taking just the first policeman you see?
Leroy coo, what's wrong with this one? Well, I'd kind
of like to shop around for a little for a
little while.
Speaker 3 (11:45):
I mean, you know how hard policeman not to find
when you want one? Now get a chance? Hey, young
can't you born?
Speaker 1 (11:52):
Well all right if you insist, come on answer, don't
rust me, young man?
Speaker 3 (11:58):
Well what are we waiting for?
Speaker 1 (12:00):
I just don't know how to begin this.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
Why don't you just bump into it?
Speaker 1 (12:02):
Look how big he is. It wouldn't be any fun
in that and step on his corn? Yes, step on
his corn. It's like putting one foot in the grave.
Oh yeah, before he's hat huh quit pushing me out
of the Collie Royds. I'll stop that.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
Oo.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
Say look where you're going? You you stepped right on
my foot, I did, officer. Well, why don't you keep
those big flat feet out of my way? Ye are big?
Speaker 5 (12:25):
Hunt h.
Speaker 7 (12:31):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (12:32):
Yes, they are big and clumsy too, that's true.
Speaker 5 (12:35):
You know I have the worst time with him, especially
when I then.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
Yes, I'm not interested in your lossing dogs on my
way before I get thus.
Speaker 5 (12:43):
Don't don't shout.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
I've got a splitting headache as it is. Oh you have,
I'll shout if I want to. Yes, by George, I
like to see you're stopping. Oh really, really, mister, If
you're going to create a disturbance, I'm not going to
stand here and take it. You're not a What are
you going to do? I'm going home bed. Oh wait
a minute. Aren't you going to arrest me?
Speaker 3 (13:04):
Ooh?
Speaker 1 (13:06):
A taxpayer? I insist on being arrested.
Speaker 5 (13:08):
Well, in that chase, you better find a policeman.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
Yeah, aren't you a policeman? Don't tell us so. But
I'm just getting home from a masquerade ball. I wish
you two children would stop following me around. You're just
a jink. No matter what I try, I can't get
(13:31):
myself arrested.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
Did you walk on the grass in the park and
pick the flowers.
Speaker 7 (13:35):
Like I told you to do?
Speaker 1 (13:36):
Yes? But that didn't work. You could have waited, police
I did, nor he did was wink at me.
Speaker 3 (13:40):
How about jaywalking? No, I sing people for that these days.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
I tried jaywalking right on a busy street.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
What happened?
Speaker 1 (13:46):
A couple of big trucks just missed me and ran
into each other.
Speaker 3 (13:48):
And the officer didn't arrest you.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
No, he was too busy separating the trunt drivers. I
even tried to steal a mounted policeman's horse.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
I should land of just smacking a horse down.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
Well, it would have, except this was a burglar proof horse.
What do you You just sat down in the gunner
and refused to move.
Speaker 3 (14:04):
Maybe you better give up, Uncle Moore.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
No, sir, I'm just as stubborn as the police department.
I'm going to jail this afternoon. If it takes me
all night.
Speaker 3 (14:10):
I've been thinking, I know it'll do the trick.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
What is it, my boy? What is it?
Speaker 3 (14:14):
That pile of bricks?
Speaker 1 (14:15):
The bricks? Yes, and you're a pretty straw window LeRoi.
I don't want to hurt those shopkeepers.
Speaker 4 (14:20):
Okay, then how about that row of empty stores across
the street. You couldn't hurt anybody there.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
You're a bright boy, leroy. Now you children, go back
to the car and pretend you don't know.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
All right, So long, Uncle Moore. I'll do you make
it this time?
Speaker 1 (14:34):
Ye? Thanks, better take an armful in case I miss well.
Here go. It doesn't seem to attract any attention. I
better try again. What kind of a neighborhood is this? Well,
i'll wake him up this time. Oh this is fun.
(15:06):
What's wrong, Marjorie?
Speaker 3 (15:07):
You look at this kind of those windows?
Speaker 1 (15:08):
You grow signs? Where?
Speaker 7 (15:10):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (15:10):
Yes, these stores for rent by the forest or estate frock, Martin's,
t Gillers leave agent.
Speaker 8 (15:15):
Oh my, come go on, I here comes the guy who,
as I told you, and I can't keep you out
of the coop.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
Oh but this is ridiculously roy. I'm a little embarrassed.
I'll get stage fright.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
Will you set up? Was for a worthy cause? I'll
be waiting.
Speaker 1 (15:37):
I don't like this. Excuse me, buddy, But could you
sparadigm for a worthy cup of coffee? Why? Sure, pal,
I've been up. I guess it myself. Here's a quarter.
Oh keep it up later.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
So many sort of complain to the cup on the corner.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Oh, the think a Giller's leave hustling handouts on the
highway there, okay makes me feel like a cat. Pardon me, lady,
because you bear a dime for a cup of coffee.
Speaker 8 (16:01):
Why you, poor man, I'll do better than that.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
I'm going to take you to the nearest restaurant and buy.
Speaker 3 (16:05):
You a nice hot meal.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
But madam, I've had my luncheon already. I just forgot
to drink buy coffee. No, leroy, I simply refuse to
ask another person for another dime for another cup of coffee. Why,
I've collected over seven dollars already here, So give it
a some worthy charity, sorry, the fund to buy glasses
(16:29):
for near sided policeman.
Speaker 3 (16:30):
What are you going to do now?
Speaker 1 (16:31):
I'm giving up. I never knew it would be so
hard to get yourself arrested. Come on, your sister's waiting
in the car. Oh, look that lady dropped her purse
handed here, leroy. Thanks, which lady was it, the one
with a hat like a waffle? Hey, lady, leroy, you
go to the car while I run ahead and give
it back to her.
Speaker 6 (16:48):
Lady.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
Oh, oh, lady, hell lady, old lady, lady. I've been
whistling at.
Speaker 5 (16:58):
You for a block.
Speaker 3 (16:59):
I heard, how dare you follow me?
Speaker 1 (17:02):
I wasn't following you. I was trying to catch you.
Here's your first lady, you dropped it back there. I
did not, but I thought I saw you.
Speaker 8 (17:08):
I have my purse right here in my hands.
Speaker 3 (17:10):
That was jess nixcuse just stop me and try to
furst you measure.
Speaker 8 (17:14):
Yes, a girl isn't safe anymore with wolves like you
roaming the street.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
Woof no, she here. I wish there was a policeman around.
Speaker 3 (17:21):
I teach you a liston.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
Quiet, lady, you're attracting me, proul.
Speaker 8 (17:24):
Why you want to be ashamed? You're twistling and shouting
at a poor girl.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
Girl.
Speaker 3 (17:28):
You wouldn't be so bold and patsy if my brother
in law was here.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
To track me. Oh my, juse me, lady, Maybe I
can help you.
Speaker 5 (17:35):
Cliss quiet, please?
Speaker 1 (17:36):
Quiet? Yes? Quiet? What's wrong?
Speaker 8 (17:39):
This man is bothering me?
Speaker 1 (17:41):
I am not move on from your father and the lady.
But I just ran after her. It bothered and I'll
run away, but I want to give her this purse.
Speaker 5 (17:48):
I don't want your whole purse, my purse, she says,
she don't want your press, and I'll beat it.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
All right, mister, if you wait a second, Who are
you to tell me I should beat it? I'm a
deputy sheriff. See if they don't want to be pulling
from But I swear this. Oh is this your first? Oh?
I thought along to the other lady in a lady's
pocket boots too. Now I got you on to chat
Mashion and trist natchal. But I tell you definitely I'm innocent.
(18:15):
Oh yeah, come on.
Speaker 5 (18:16):
Now, Patty, let's get down to the Sheriff's off.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
Well. I just saw it lying there on the sidewalk, mister,
and I thought, are you coming quietly? Or do I
have to drag you to jail? I won't come quietly.
You can't make me if what you're going to take
me to jails? You catch you on fat?
Speaker 5 (18:29):
Well?
Speaker 1 (18:30):
Why didn't you say so? Come on? Come on, come on,
I just can't wait till we get there. In here,
Patso that's so, come on step in there. You think
(18:51):
I'm going to carry you across the cresholds? No, no,
I'll walk.
Speaker 5 (18:57):
It's spotless. You got a room mate?
Speaker 1 (19:00):
Show this guy the rope.
Speaker 7 (19:01):
Sure well, make yourself at home, bunkie.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
What's your name Giler's leave. Fuck Morton, p boy.
Speaker 7 (19:10):
Did you pick yourself a pony Monika?
Speaker 6 (19:12):
What?
Speaker 7 (19:12):
Nobody'd ever believe that one?
Speaker 1 (19:14):
But I assure you, sir, that's my name. Let's look here.
I don't want to stay around here a moment longer,
isn't I have to? Who does? How's their chances of
getting out?
Speaker 7 (19:24):
I don't know you got a good lawyer?
Speaker 1 (19:26):
No, no, no, I mean, how's how's chances of escaping?
Speaker 7 (19:29):
You mean take it on the lamb?
Speaker 1 (19:31):
Well, if you want to be technically.
Speaker 7 (19:32):
Yes, not a chance in the world, bunkie. This joint
is air tight.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
But I've heard otherwise.
Speaker 7 (19:39):
Yeah, sure, so did I. But I'm still here?
Speaker 3 (19:41):
What why?
Speaker 7 (19:42):
I bet I tried everything and I know all the tricks.
Speaker 1 (19:46):
It's you do.
Speaker 7 (19:47):
Yeah, that's why I'm here on account of busting out
of all the other joints.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
But I was told that lots of you, Robert Chaps
got freeze.
Speaker 7 (19:55):
Then somebody gave you a bump steer pal. Why this
is the price that gave him the idea for rob
got you? Oh my goodness, nobody's ever cracked this jug.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
Oh, I can hardly believe that.
Speaker 7 (20:06):
Oh no, huh, Well, I'll show you, Hey, Jeffany, Yeah,
what is it's fun? Anybody ever escaped out of this cooler?
Speaker 1 (20:14):
No, nobody's ever escaped out of this cooler? Oh hey, yes,
let lay Yes sir, you got visited. Oh come on,
fine message. Judge Hooker and Ted have gotten me into
him hot cool old children? Are you all right?
Speaker 3 (20:30):
Uncle three? You made it after Alden junks? How did
you manage to do?
Speaker 1 (20:33):
Oh it's a long story, Marjorie. Remind me to tell
that the some cold winter night when we've got nothing
better to do. Now, I want you to get a
hold of Ted and Judge Hooker. Tell them that their
information was all wrong. Nobody's ever escaped out of this cooler.
Speaker 3 (20:44):
You mean it's just a life in your time.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
That's it, exactly, Roy. Now you tell them to get
me out of this rabbit hutch quick like a bunny.
Speaker 6 (21:05):
Judge Hooker, Chambers, let me talk to Judge Hooker please
this Ted Will's thinking, Oh sorry, will he just left?
I see you?
Speaker 2 (21:10):
When'll he be back?
Speaker 1 (21:11):
Well in about a week, he said, a week.
Speaker 7 (21:13):
He can't do that.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
Oh, yes he can. He's just gone to New York
and good, but he can't go. He's left someone in
the lurch. Oh my goodness, where's the judge stopping.
Speaker 6 (21:21):
In New York?
Speaker 4 (21:22):
Well, he hadn't decided he's going to let me know
what's the trouble.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
He's left an innocent man here in jail. Oh that's
what all you lawyers say. Goodbye, Marge Lee Roy. What
are we gonna do?
Speaker 3 (21:32):
Poor uncle more?
Speaker 9 (21:33):
Yeah, poor uncle Moore?
Speaker 1 (21:50):
Hal you know the reason why I'm going to get
out of this jail by and.
Speaker 5 (21:56):
By stop but stop at track one.
Speaker 7 (22:00):
But that's all you've been doing all day long? What
are you so cheerful about?
Speaker 1 (22:04):
You? Soon, see, Spud, I'll be out of here quick
and you can walk across the cell.
Speaker 7 (22:08):
Yeah, well cut out. That's singing. I'm funny, stand up
without that.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
I can't help it. I'm happy about leaving this place.
I've just got to say, darling, you and I.
Speaker 6 (22:19):
Guilllessly.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
Uh you gotta visit. Oh you see spun? What did
I tell you? Thank you? Definitely, Doli, you and I
know the reason why I am such a happy guy.
Oh well, Bertie, I'm glad to see it. Where is everybody?
Speaker 3 (22:35):
They was praid to come down?
Speaker 1 (22:36):
Mister gil Slee's afraid? What were they afraid of praidy you.
Speaker 3 (22:39):
They send me down to break the bad news?
Speaker 1 (22:41):
What bad news?
Speaker 5 (22:43):
Judge? Hook it on on for good, all about you
and let New York for all week? What yes, sir,
I told you something bad.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
Is gonna happen. He can't do this to me, Bertie,
Did you bring me a habeas harpers?
Speaker 3 (22:53):
I'm fine, Miss gill Sleave. All I brought you was
a roast chicken.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
I don't want to roast chicken. I would hey, I
do want to ROAs chickens.
Speaker 5 (23:00):
It demand at the door.
Speaker 3 (23:01):
You don't take it away?
Speaker 2 (23:02):
Some him?
Speaker 1 (23:02):
Why Patty Chiler?
Speaker 3 (23:03):
But I don't think he's gonna enjoy it?
Speaker 1 (23:05):
Why not? I thought it was some little.
Speaker 3 (23:08):
Stalls sometimes and the milk gun.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
Let me out of here. You can't keep me in here.
It's against the law, got barton.
Speaker 7 (23:28):
If you don't shut up to what's gonna send you
to solitary?
Speaker 1 (23:31):
Let him send me to any place, as long as
it's out of here.
Speaker 7 (23:34):
You know you're the stroliest cell made. I have a
room with funky Yes. The other person is a circulating
a petition demanding your remobile. Oh now, why don't you
just sit down like a good little coll and write
another letter to the newspaper.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
No, I've been praying the double cross, and they were
gonna name a statue after me in the memorial Park.
I'm really a member of the Clean Government Association.
Speaker 7 (23:54):
Well, you certainly don't act like it. In the past
three days, you've tried to set the cell on five
four times, and the rest of the time you're either
trying to bribe the gods or you're organizing a jail breaks.
Uldus leave skew ain't playing the game.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
I don't want to play any games. I just want
to play the anvil chorus on a certain judge's head
with a baseball bat. All right, guildous, leave, get your things,
you're leaving, leaving. I am oh, I can hardly believe that.
Oh this makes me very happy.
Speaker 8 (24:28):
That makes it unanimous.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
Oh goodbye, spud Ah, try try to keep out of
mischief from now on, spud Well, goodbye, boys, behave yourself. Yeah, yeah,
glad to Bob, you're prey. Oh hello children, Yeah, Hello Ted,
(24:52):
Hello hooker. Hell well, it took you long enough to
get me out of here.
Speaker 5 (24:57):
How guilly, it was all a mistake.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
Let's not discuss it. Here. Shall we go? Yes, But
first I want to ask you two great city leaders
a question. Where did you get your pony information from
a fortune tower?
Speaker 5 (25:07):
It wasn't pony. And why did you have to yell
your head off about our investigation?
Speaker 1 (25:11):
It's all over town? Now? What difference does that make? Now, hooker,
there's nothing to prosecute here. The jail is escape proof.
I found that out, and from what I saw, it's
run on the level too, of course it is.
Speaker 6 (25:20):
I knew that all along.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
And why are the name of common sister? Just send
me here? That's just it.
Speaker 5 (25:24):
We didn't tell you to come here, Gillless leave what No,
this is a county jail. We told you to go
to the city jail.
Speaker 9 (25:29):
Oh the great jailer's lay will be weap us again
(25:50):
in a few minutes.
Speaker 2 (25:52):
But right now, I wonder how many of you housewives
baked the cake or some cookies yesterday for your Sunday
dinner today. A lot of you did, I'm sure, because
there's nothing like that real home baked flavor. Well, here's
a hint for the next time you bake. For luscious
extra flavor in cookies, cakes, or pastries, use delicious parquet
margarine for the shortening. You see park margarine as a
(26:12):
genuine flavor shortening, not just a bland, tasteless fat. Yes,
the same delicious flavor that makes park grand for table
use makes it marvelous for baking too, And that's why
so many women also use Parkue margin for seasoning hot
vegetables and for pan frying. But whether you use Parkue
margarine at the tables for seasoning, for baking or for
(26:32):
pan frying, you're adding valuable nourishment to your family's diets.
And every pound of park contains nine thousand units of
vitamin A. And remember good as parks taste and nourishing
as it is, Park is so economical you can use
all you want. So why not join the thousands of
Park users and order a pound or two tomorrow? Just
(26:53):
ask for Park par Kay, it's the margarine that's made
by Crass.
Speaker 7 (28:04):
Hello rock Morton, Yes, rock Morton, this is but I
I just phoned it.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
Tell you I gave you a bump steer. You did well?
Speaker 7 (28:15):
Somebody did escape out of that cooler?
Speaker 1 (28:17):
They did? Who me?
Speaker 7 (28:19):
So long's.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
You're not playing the game? Good night?
Speaker 2 (28:34):
It was no music heard on This program was composed
and conducted by William Ramboph This is Jim Bannon thinking
for the Craft Cheese Company and in Batting You. The
bus is again next week at the same time, but
the further adventures of the Drake guildless lave.
Speaker 9 (28:47):
This is the National Broadcasting Company.
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