January 16, 2024 • 49 mins
Jana Wilson is an emotional healing educator, meditation teacher, retreat leader, hypno therapist, Heart Math Facilitator, and founder of the Emotional Healing System. For the past two decades, she has taught thousands internationally in group and private retreats. Jana trained with best-selling author and physician, Deepak Chopra MD and NY Times best-selling author, Debbie Ford. She lives off the grid in the foothills of the Sangre de Christo mountain range in Santa Fe, NM, with her husband and business partner, Dr. Lance Wilson. When she is not guiding clients to heal, she enjoys hiking, yoga, and watching documentaries.
Website: http://www.emotionalhealingretreats.com/
Jana's book:
Wise Little One: https://amzn.to/3HMWqVv
Book recommended by Jana:
Many Lives, Many Masters by Brian L. Weiss
Connect wth Jana:
emotional_healing_retreats - IG
janawilson2017 - FB
Join our supportive Facebook group community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/healthrivedream
Connect with me:
Gmail: healthrivedream@gmail.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/healthrivedream_
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/healthrivedream
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@traumarecoveryexpert
Twitter: https://twitter.com/healthrivedream
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/karenrobinson2022/
Website: https://www.healthrivedream.com/ Podcast: http://healthrivedreampodcast.com/abuse
Loved this episode? Leave us a comment below.
Website: http://www.emotionalhealingretreats.com/
Jana's book:
Wise Little One: https://amzn.to/3HMWqVv
Book recommended by Jana:
Many Lives, Many Masters by Brian L. Weiss
Connect wth Jana:
emotional_healing_retreats - IG
janawilson2017 - FB
Join our supportive Facebook group community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/healthrivedream
Connect with me:
Gmail: healthrivedream@gmail.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/healthrivedream_
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/healthrivedream
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@traumarecoveryexpert
Twitter: https://twitter.com/healthrivedream
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/karenrobinson2022/
Website: https://www.healthrivedream.com/ Podcast: http://healthrivedreampodcast.com/abuse
Loved this episode? Leave us a comment below.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
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(00:02):
Welcome to the Heal Thrived Dream Podcast, where trauma survivors become healthy thrivers.
Each month will feature a theme inthe trauma recovery and empowerment field to promote
your recovery, healing and learning howto build dreams. Here's your host,
Karen Robinson, transformational coach and therapist. Hi, Welcome back to the Heal
(00:28):
Thrived Dream Podcast. Our guest isJana Wilson. Janna is an emotional healing
educator, meditation teacher, retreat leader, hypnotherapists, heart math facilitator, and
founder of the Emotional Healing System That'sQuite the bio Already. For the past
(00:52):
two decades, she has taught thousandsinternationally in group in private retreats, trained
with best selling author and physician DeepakChopra. In New York Times best selling
author Debbie Ford, I'm excited aboutyour bio. Anything else you want to
(01:14):
aduate about your husband or your family? Now? Where you live, Well,
I'm an author that's not on there. Finally, Well, I'll be
a published author in July. AndI live in Santa Fe. We live
off the grid. We have Teslabattery, you know, backup batteries we're
all solar. I have a healingcenter here. Yeah. My husband's a
(01:37):
physician and he's my partner as well. Very cool. And the book that's
coming out by the time this podcastair is that it'll already be out,
and I want to encourage people togo out and grab a copy. Do
you want to share the title andwhat inspired you to write it? Oh?
Sure, I'd love to. Thanks, Karen. I the the you
(02:00):
know, writing the book. Titleis interesting when you're writing a book because
you really got to get the storiesout. Title is just like not even
important at some point towards the end. Is when the title really started.
I was like, okay, Ihave to come up with the title,
and so much of my story asyou're reading, you know, it starts.
(02:21):
I'm twelve years old. I havethis out of body experience based you
know, in a traumatic event that'shappening between my mom and dad. My
inner child and my cultivating a connectionwith my emotional self, which is what
the inner child is, began veryyoung. I lived a lot in my
imaginary world, of course, disassociatingfrom the domestic violence and the things that
(02:46):
was going on around me. Andwriting the book brought up a lot of
that, you know. Of course, I've spent almost twenty years teaching and
before that healing myself. So Icould be at a place, but I
don't believe we fully arrive. Ibelieve that life is a journey of peeling
back, that never ending onion,right the layers, and Wise Little One
(03:09):
came to me. Actually, Iwas getting a massage, laugh and it
just popped in right when I wasin that really relaxed state. I heard
it, whise Little One, learningto love and listen to my inner child,
because that's really what catapulted me ontothis path of healing, was my
connection to my emotional self, whichis the inner child. So Wise Little
(03:35):
One is the name of it.It is a memoir. So I'm sharing
my own personal story of how myparents were conditioned and then of course how
they conditioned me, and then whatthat conditioning did, so that the reader
understands the journey of how our psycheis formed, how our personalities are formed,
(03:57):
the journey of you know, thiswhole path of growth from developmental trauma
to even pre cognitive, pre conscioustrauma. You've read the book, so
what in chapter I believe two orthree I share about being in the womb.
And I found this out through myhypnotherapy school training, that I wrapped
(04:21):
the cord around my neck and breachedmyself attempting to commit suicide in the womb.
That sounds kind of crazy, butonce you understand that, now we
have research and knowledge that we aresentient beings clearly, and that pre conscious,
precognitive I'm being fed through an umbilicalcord of hormones of my mom being
(04:44):
beaten and depressed. Of course,who wants to live? Right? So?
Yeah, there you were born withthe cord actually around your neck.
Yeah, and now I knew thatinformation. I had that knowledge of being
breach and the cord. I justdidn't know I did it until you know,
I was in my thirties and Iwent through a hypnotherapy session and saw
(05:09):
it. How did you help?I don't know if you have words.
Do you have words to describe howthat impacted you? To have that knowledge,
Well, it gave me a deepsense of compassion for myself. You
know, this journey that my soulI believe contracted for with these parents who
were deeply you know, and let'sface it, parenting doesn't come with a
(05:31):
manual. You know, and youknow, we aren't taught emotional intelligence,
and so my parents were extremely ignorantand unconscious and acting out their conditioning.
And you know, it just gaveme compassion, like a deep compassion for
little Jana that bless her heart.You know, there's a part of me
(05:51):
that that That's why when I haveclients or people come to me and they've
had suicide ideation, I understand.You know that life it's difficult being in
this human body. It's difficult inthis experience, and when we don't have
the necessary spiritual tools to manage ourselves, it becomes even more difficult. So
(06:16):
it's an option that many people,you know, entertain, Yeah, I
would it be okay if we stayedon the suicide track for a second?
Sure? Yeah. How many timesin your lifespan after you know in utero,
did you have thoughts and feelings orurges to complete suicide or considered suicide?
(06:42):
Yeah? I think when I so, then you it starts in the
prologue at twelve, So what precipitatedthat event at twelve years old? Well,
we'd have to go back in timea little. So when I'm eight,
my mom puts a shotgun to myhead and my brother and she's in
a blackout. And my mom wasdiagnosed. You know, she was mentally
(07:05):
ill and she never drank, butthis time she had drank with valume and
she was and we got taken away, and I remember starting to wet the
bed. I started waiting the bedat my aunt's house while I was staying
with her. After my mom wastaken away, and I was in a
(07:25):
pretty dark place. So my grandmotherintervened, who I was very close to,
and she came and took me soI didn't have to live with that
aunt and things got better. Butas soon as Mom got out of the
hospital, she was in it foralmost a year, and they would do
electroshock treatment. The interesting thing thegift in my mom's trauma, and my
(07:46):
mom would attempt suicide all the time. She would slice her wrist. I
would find her with a razor blade. She never cut deep enough, but
she certainly And that's why she wastaken away a lot, right, because
she was behaving this way. Andso when I saw that behavior model to
me in other words, is whatI'm saying. I saw my mom attempting
to check out. So that wasmodeled to me, oh, that's an
(08:09):
option, right though, I don'treally think about it until around twelve when
I'm back with her after the gun. I'm like reunited with her around nine
years old, so it's been afew years. She allows my dad to
come back. It's the battered womansyndrome and that he's beating her once again,
and I'm praying for help. Butright before that event, I remember
(08:33):
feeling like I should take this bottleof aspirin. I was given some or
tile and all or something. Iwas given something Mom had given me and
I knew where it was, andI remember registering, if you know,
that could be an option if Iwant to just check out. So that's
the only time then I had theout of body experience, and then I
(08:54):
really never experienced it again. Youknow, I had depressed of episodes because
I didn't have tools to manage myemotions, but I never wanted to completely,
you know, check out and killmyself. You knew you had a
purpose, right, is that right? Yeah? Yeah. The being pulled
(09:15):
out of my body and told thoseare not your parents, I am,
that is not your life. Thisis woke me up. It was a
mystical spiritual awakening. That happened soyoung that it it completely altered my view
of myself and the world after that, so I was I was good to
(09:37):
go. You know. I wasthe first in my family to graduate high
school. I was the first togo to college. I was the first
to you know. It's like afterthat experience, I had a mission and
then I got I read a book. It changed my life Many lives,
Many Masters by doctor Brian Weisse.I am to say that again, many
(09:58):
lives my doctor Brian Wisse. Iended up training with him. He's a
head of psychology at Mount Sinai Hospitalin Miami Beach. That book was life
changing. It helped me reframe mychildhood from a perspective that empowered me,
Like I began to look at myself, Karen, like I am a badass
(10:22):
whole, or I wouldn't have chosethose two parents, or I wouldn't have
went through all that, Like Imust have some purpose, right, Yeah,
And it is a special person whocan take their parents' limitations and see
that there's a message that will helpyou have strength in the healer that you
(10:46):
are today. Right, Like that'snot an easy thing to see, but
you see it and you've dedicated yourlife and your career to you know,
being a healer. And I don'tknow if that's if you don't if you
haven't had the opportunity to heal yourself. Absolutely yeah, you can heal or
heal thyself. I started to recognizethis actually later, but early in my
(11:13):
career. So I'm in my latethirties, I've you know, launched a
retreat business. I've trained with DebbieFord at that point, so I'm an
integrative coach. I had three yearsof training, so I was at the
master level. I was, youknow, just launching my business. And
I remember I had a retreat inJupiter, Florida, where I'm from,
(11:35):
where I lived and raised my daughter, and my mother came and cooked for
us. It was like twenty fiveladies, and I remember having this awareness.
It was like a download, youknow how like it was just all
came really fast, and it waslike spirit showed me the connection between my
(11:56):
mom and myself that as a littlegirl, she was having electroshock treatment for
her depression. That's rewiring the brain. Now we know through neuroplasticity, we
can rewire our own brain. Wedon't need electro shock treatment. They still
do electro convulsive therapy, and it'sactually necessary, it's not inhumane, and
(12:20):
it rewires the patient's brain. However, if they come back to the same
environment, they don't have any modifiedchange or behavior. Right, they go
back, but my mom would comeback in an altered state. You'll read
it in the book she would bereading teaching me Raymond Moody Near Death Experiences.
We read the Bible, I mean, she was very kind of mainstream
(12:43):
Biblical, and then she would goshe started to download all this information,
even astrology, a lot of esotericmystical teachings. And I was a sponge.
Now what if I didn't have thatmuch who lit me up at such
a young age with these concepts andideas that were absolutely mind expanding, I
(13:09):
might not be who I am today. Right. It was all a part
of that contract. So I beganto look at my mother through the lens
instead of of the victim, mentallyill, weak woman that I thought she
was, to living more in amystery of you know, maybe my mom
(13:31):
sacrificed to be here, you know, to guide me to help so many
people. That's one way of lookingat her differently, Right, that's more
empowering than oh she's a victim andweak and you remember that song like what
if God was one of us?A slob? Like one of us like
(13:54):
yes, like we don't know,you know, yeah, yeah, yeah,
I love that refrain, you know. And I also think it shows
like how complicated we are as people. You know, people that hurt us,
we know that they've been hurt significantlythemselves, and we know that that
(14:15):
that it doesn't make them bad.Yeah, maybe their behavior is what we
could label as bad, but there'salso so much good, you know.
So it's when people are complex,our feelings about them are usually complex.
Has that been your experience? Oh? Yeah, I mean, I you
know, I'm I mean I thinkthat hurt. As you said, hurting
(14:37):
people hurt people, and you know, we we as one of my teachers
around Dads says, we're all walkingeach other home, I mean back to
the heart. Right. So it'slike, how can I, to the
degree that I've healed my own sayanger, I can sit and be present
(14:58):
with you and yours. If Ican't be with my anger, then when
you're angry, I'm of course goingto project it, vilify it, and
be angry you're angry, which isa real cosmic joke. It's like,
wait a minute, I'm judging youfor judging me. I'm angry, You're
(15:18):
angry, Yes, that's yeah.It's hard to wrap our head around that
for sure. But it's projection shadowand you know, that's one of the
main things that I teach with theEmotional Healing System is how to see yourself
in the mirror of relationship. Sobefore we dive into that, because I
(15:45):
definitely want to, I'm curious aboutwhat happened to your brother over times.
How is he doing? Are youcomfortable with talking about him at all?
Sure? I worry about I'm worriedabout him. Yeah, yeah, he
So you know Roy was abused.I wasn't by my dad. I was
by my mother. Of course hewas too, but Dad's fury was insane
(16:10):
and it really wounded my brother.He's not had the best relationships. He's
been married twice and divorced, andhe's in a good place now. We
buried my mom last year. Shehad Alzheimer's and she still remembered us though
in the end, even late stage, like she still knew. She would
(16:32):
say, do you belong to me? You belonged to me? Like she
knew, you know, like therewas a it was sweet. But I
looked at the Alzheimer's from I reframedit and I began to see it instead
of again as a victim, thatit was really grace because she lived in
so much turmoil from the past,she didn't remember anything. So she was
(16:53):
just in the present moment, youknow, happy as she could be.
But Roy, my brother, andI, spiritually speaking, went very opposite
directions. He's and I talk aboutit in the book. He's very fundamentalist
Christian and I'm a Christian, butI'm open to all viewpoints, so I
(17:15):
don't feel there's one way, andyou know, so there's a big fundamental
difference in our beliefs. I lovemy brother consciously speaking, though you know,
we're we're in you know, Ispeak Greek and he doesn't understand it
real well. So there's not alot to talk about, right So,
but he's a good person and Ilove him, and you know, I
(17:37):
it's when you trauma bond with somebodylike he and I did, that bond
is really hard to break. Imean, we he was my protector for
many years and I love him dearly, but he's struggled with drug addiction,
and you know he's doing good nowthough, and he has been for a
while. So yeah, I'm reallyglad to hear that. Yeah, thank
(18:00):
you for asking. Yeah, becausesometimes, well, the research shows us
in domestic violent situations that you know, people think child abuse is worse than
domestic violence for kids, but theresearch shows the kids witnessing domestic violence is
very, very threatening for them becauseif your protectors can't protect each other or
(18:26):
get on a similar page, itjust threatens everything for children. So you
had that going on, you hadto worry about your brother, You had
the gun thing with your mom.Does this summarize most of your traumas or
is there even more on top ofthat? Oh, there's more, you'll
get to them. I don't thinkyou're there in the story yet. So
(18:48):
I was date raped in college.Somebody put something in my drink. I
mean, when we're raised, whenwe have parents, as you said,
that can't manage their emotions and theyaren't functioning well as a healthy adult,
they're arrested. Developed Really, bothmy parents did not develop beyond stages of
(19:10):
childhood right because they didn't have thesupport they needed and what they needed.
So now they're having children and they'reteenagers. I mean, my mom was
I think nineteen when she had mybrothers, was twenty two when she had
me. You know, they're underthe age of twenty five. Their brain's
not developed. I mean, itwas, you know, a recipe for
disaster, but they you know,when it puts us in survival. Like
(19:33):
you said, witnessing someone that broughtyou into the world trying to kill each
other and tarry each other apart meansyou might be next. And sometimes we
were, you know, Roy forsure, Me not so much. I
got lots of bankings though, witha belt and stuff with my mom and
you know, so that was definitelyabuse as well. I think, you
(19:57):
know, I just my parents.I can't even say they did the best
they could because they didn't. Theyjust didn't know better. They were unconscious,
and like you said, you knowthey you know, I live pretty
much in survival mode in complex posttraumatic stress disorder, you know, which
(20:18):
makes me pretty complicated. You know, I'm a highly sensitive person. I
have to be. I can't bein crowds a lot, you know,
loud noises, a lot of thingsupset me. You know, I live,
like I do, off the gridand nature, because right, I
need lots of and of course I'msupporting a lot of people, holding space
(20:38):
for a lot of people to healthat have had significant traumas. And I'm
not a trained clinician in the termsof traditional therapy because frankly, I don't.
I believe it works somewhat, butit's top down. It's addressing symptoms,
not root cause. You go toa therapist, Oh I'm depressed,
Okay, here's a pill. I'manxious, here's a pill. You know,
(21:00):
it's let's talk about it for fiftyminutes. Not enough time, and
there's no tools given. So Iobject a little bit because I'm a trauma
recovery expert and a therapist, butI hear what you're saying, and that's
often true, but it's more psychiatrygives mess. Therapists don't prescribe meds.
(21:23):
But even in psychotherapy, there's notenough time and the system isn't created.
You know. I'm also trauma andform trained, and you know, when
we are dealing with root cause,it's different than going and to a therapist
and speaking about our doing all cognitivesay CBT, cognitive abel therapy or you
(21:48):
know, that's why I feel like, I mean, I think one person,
yeah, the whole person, thewhole and also going back and you
know, through hypnotherapy or using differenttypes of motive to really get to the
root cause of what so, becausea lot of people are operating too from
emotional addiction right just to their story, and cookie cutter approaches just don't work.
(22:15):
Like everybody is a unique individual.And I agree with what you're saying
in terms of we've got to lookat the spiritual moral injuries. We got
to look at the body and what'shappening inside, you know, the body
and the nervous system, you know, the medical issues that come up,
the mental issues that come up.You treat the whole person. So I
(22:36):
think we agree on that. Buttell me a little more about go ahead,
I want to hear more about youremotional healing system. I think it's
very exciting. Yeah. So thesystem is, you know, nothing that
I obviously created on my own.It's you know, really some of these
teachings go back six thousand years.So its foundation is it's really in a
(22:59):
life alignment with emotional intelligence and theskills of emotional intelligence. So the foundation
of emotional intelligence is self awareness.So the system we create, I mean,
we teach meditation. So meditation isfoundational for self awareness because essentially all
(23:21):
you're doing in meditation is becoming awarewhen you're lost in thought, and your
attention is your most valuable asset.So if you're aware throughout the day when
you're lost in thought, because youmeditated that morning and built a muscle,
say, of awareness, of strengtheningwhat you're aware of, what your where
(23:41):
your mind and your attention is,becomes a superpower because then you have free
will to put it on that whichyou desire. Right. So a lot
of people, as I said,are have emotional addiction, and they're addicted
to stories and woe is Me andvictimization and they don't even know it.
They're not even aware of it,right, It's just and so once you
(24:04):
start to meditate, you start togo into what we call witnessing awareness,
so you are the witness of whatyou're thinking and doing. You're so aware
of what you're feeling in the midstof feeling, right, you're aware of
what you're thinking in the midst ofthinking that you have maustery and you can
shift your attention on what you chooseat will. So that's foundational meditation.
(24:32):
I won't work with anyone who whogets into a story or complains and says
they can't meditate. My opinion is, if you can't, you can't do
nothing well. How do you expectto do anything well when you're sitting to
meditate the benefits of meditation. Deepakalways said this, and doctor Simon,
(24:52):
so Deepak's indracinologists, doctor Simon wasneurologists. They both said if they were
ever diagnosed with any kind of lifethreatening disease or diagnosis, and they only
had one thing to choose, it'dbe meditation. So that's very telling,
isn't it. Yeah, So meditationis key balanced the autonomic nervous system,
(25:15):
you know, activate your pair sympathetic, get you in a really rest and
repair, rest and digest state soyou can be more resilient to stressors and
you know, be able to manage. Then once people we solidify, really
it's psycho spirituality, So we solidifyreally connection, what is spiritual guidance for
(25:36):
you? Supporting them to learn howto pray affirmatively, to connect to a
source of power that you know givesthem meaning and purpose. And a lot
of people are suffering because they're inan existential crisis because they have no connection
to spirit. It's like, what'sthat. They even confuse it with religion,
(25:56):
right, they think it's religion andit's not religion and is man made.
So spirituality is you know, itcan happen in nature, It can
happen. You know, it's cultivatinga relationship with something outside the five senses.
Right. I can't see it,taste it, touch it, here
it, or smell it. ButI'm making it more real than this real
(26:19):
world. I faith. So we'reconnecting. Really, you're here for a
purpose. You are unique, youare lovable, you are loved, you
are being supported. You're really supportingpeople in their spiritual journey. Once that's
established, we begin moving them intounderstanding their psyche and under it would teach
(26:40):
psychosynthesis and shadow work, combining thetwo and really helping people understand that you
know, they are a three sixtydegree personality. You know that that we
have you know, parts therapy,parts of ourself, and that we have
split off parts. You know,I don't want to be called a bitch.
(27:03):
Say so I split that part off. Then I'm bitchy to people at
home and I'm nice to everybody andfake outside because I'm repressing that aspect of
my personality. I become a doormat, I become I have no voice,
you know. So shadow works reallyabout reclaiming the lost parts of ourselves and
bringing them back into wholeness. Andthen once people understand that, we do
(27:26):
different practices, like we'll do mirrorwork. So in the mirror relationship,
you know, say I don't wantto be I said weak, mentally ill
and you know lost, say likemy mother. So then I would work
with the client and mirror that back. You are weak, lost, and
mentally ill just like your mother,and they have to step into it.
(27:49):
Disposure therapy around those triggers. Webegin to soften the trigger when it's too
intense, because I don't believe IAM can be those things. Is really
a way that we speak about God. So the I am of us can't
be sick, mentally ill, whatever. So sometimes we'll add it into more
(28:10):
the psychosynthesis. Sometimes I'm this wayor there's a part of me that's this
way, because I'm you know,got lots of parts of me. So
people start to have big breakthroughs,big breakthroughs because they're saying out loud,
the things they would never want saidto them. Right, it's like whoa.
(28:30):
They're scared of it at first,but the floodgates open and when they
do the healing that occurs, it'slike they just dumped the huge tumor that
was killing them, you know,and they're powerful. Yeah, completely different.
After a thirty minute mirroring exercise,then we go into repairenting, teaching
(28:52):
steps of repairenting and how to connectwith your emotions like a child go through
certain steps. I teach step bystep up and asking questions and connecting to
spiritual guidance because that's a big pieceof it, really understanding. And so
many people operate from what I callthe operating system of their childhood, right,
(29:12):
their conditioning I'm not good enough,I'm unlovable. Somewhere they made a
decision, a false belief about themselves. So now we're working with them to
see it was a child that madethat, To find the memory of what
happened when they made that belief,and then go back and rescue the child
through hypnotherapy, bring it back intothis present moment and hear the truth that
(29:36):
you are loved, You are lovable. What do I need to do every
day to show that to myself andcreate that bond right with self where my
internal dialogue is one that's now,I'm proud of you. You're doing a
great job, and instead of whatan idiot you were. I can't believe
you did that, you know.So we begin to befriend ourselves like would
(30:00):
a little child. And I'll tellpeople to take a picture of themselves,
put it on your wallpaper, onyour phone, put it everywhere. Start
to dialogue, Start to think aboutthat little child and the challenges they were
going through, and open your heartlike a loving parent would and listen and
learn what is that child trying totell you? Wow? Wow, that's
(30:29):
a lot. It's so crazy powerfulthough. It's like everything that I teach
and talk about and beyond, youknow, is you know, I talk
about reparenting. You know, Italk about that wounded child inside of us
and source and you know that thespirit within us that's rooting for us and
(30:52):
can heal us, can do anythingwe want. You know. It was
just you know, faith. Sowhat you're doing is so beautifully powerful,
and I just don't understand the timeline, Like do you do this all during
a retreat. Do you have coursesas well, like how do you do
all this work? So we yeah, so we do do it. And
(31:18):
so private work a minimum is aweek so people will come here and stay.
You know, private is really it'sit's very expensive because we don't take
insurance, so you're looking at closeto ten thousand dollars for a week.
But we provide everything. I mean, we're with you six to eight hours
a day. You know, youalso massage, body work, you know,
(31:40):
there's other things shamanic healing, energyhealing. So we really created an
experience equine therapy, like a wholeexperience, right, sound, bath,
breath work, you know, soit's a whole. Now, group retreat
we do almost very similar to theprivate work. However, it's a five
(32:02):
day as well. On Monday throughFriday. We're in a resort. You
know, we're somewhere lovely and youknow, by the beach or somewhere nice.
But everybody's individual, right, IfI take a group through a hypnotherapy
process, I can't take notes.They have to remember and be very engaged.
So groups are powerful. I mean, you know, you can't compare
(32:25):
them to private though, even thoughit's the same content. But the book,
the workbook that they get, Imean you can see it's it's a
lot. It's six almost seventy pages, and it's you know, a lot
of information. My husband and Iare actually co authoring the Emotional Healing System
book, the guidebook now it'll bepublished sometime late this year, early next
(32:50):
year. And we have an onlinecourse and we just recorded this online course
Karen, with the intention people whocan number one, because we have a
foundation, a nonprofit, so weoffer I was a single mom for seven
years, so I offer private usuallyfull scholarship for a single mom who applies
about three or four a year.I'll do and in group we give scholarships
(33:16):
as well. But you know,still even groups a couple grand private,
I told you, is very expensive. So we wanted to offer this retreat
in an online platform. So wejust did professional recording a couple of weeks
ago. It's getting put up,it should be launching soon, and it'll
be very affordable, you know,like three hundred bucks and you have it
(33:38):
for life, and it's done verywell, right, so everything so excited.
Yes, we're very excited about thisone. Yeah, and I think
like the individual retreat price is youknow, market, like you can't really
(33:59):
go on to reach treat and getthat kind of attention for hundred ten thousand.
So but I understand like only certainclientele. Maybe I'll come with that,
But if you think about the longterm benefits of just going away where
you're focusing on just you and yourspirituality, your mental health, your physical
body. Yeah, and do youguys, do any relationship work too as
(34:22):
well as they're all just solved atthe mirror. Yeah. So I'm trained
in imago therapy, but I stopdoing couples because I always found, you
know, one wanted it more thanthe other, so I would end up
just saying that person comes. Itonly takes one person to change your relationship,
you know, the person who's reallyinvested come. Then I just moved
(34:43):
away from doing it, and Ireally the intent with the book is to
reach more people, to build thegroups bigger. We have a teacher training
as well, so we've trained abouta dozen people so far, so every
time we open it up and we'vebeen kind of inconsistent with that. But
we have another one starting probably inthe fall. It'll opposed to October of
(35:06):
this year for the next cohort,but we teach people in this so that
they can essentially coach people on thephone and use this model of you know
what we teach to people. Sowe're trying to reach people as many ways
as possible, right from the lowestto a book, say under twenty bucks,
(35:27):
to you know, how can weshare this knowledge in the best way
with the highest integrity and make itaffordable for everybody and then still offer it
also to people who really need andcan't afford it. Oh beautiful, Yeah,
I think you're in your husband's background. Yeah, so he's so an
(35:51):
empty Yeah, he's an MD.He was trained in emergency medicine. He
did that for about fifteen years andthen he went into the corporate side of
the business. So now he runslarge groups. So he's usually running a
group of you know, four orfive hundred clinicians doctors. So one of
his things that he loves to dois healing the healers, So we do
(36:15):
have that at our website too.For clinicians, we're really trying to support
them have a very high suicide rate, a lot of addiction. You know,
they do have God complex, butthey also don't feel like they can
ask for help because they're the oneswho always help, so it's challenging and
(36:35):
you know, working with them toget them across the line to say I
need help. I'm unhappy, andusually their unhappiness is what everybody else is.
It's a lack of spiritual connection.Some of us were born with it.
You. Yeah, I feel thesame way about myself. You do.
(36:57):
Yeah. Well, I I can'tremember where I read this or where
I heard it, but somebody ifsomething like survivors are more spiritually enlightened or
had the possibility of being more spiritualenlightened. And I just love that because
I think, you know, oneour spidey senses, intuition, spirit is
(37:22):
on higher, it's just more evolved. I think we're incredibly compassionate. I
think that's just a beautiful mix.Now, of course, there's people that
have been hurt and have shut downtheir ability to connect with spirit, but
I think if they want to changethat around, there's hope for that.
(37:45):
Yeah. I agree. I feellike I feel like it comes really to
the soul that you know. Ihave a teacher who's who runs a shamanic
institute here and he taught me.He said, Jana, did you ever
wonder why you weren't born like inplaces where life expectancy was maybe forty and
(38:09):
you were having your volva cut outlike they do in the congo or starving.
You know, I grew up poor, but I still had awareness that
I was privileged in a lot ofways, right because I was American and
anyway, I said, yeah,I have thought about that a lot when
I was a child, especially growingup being called trailer trash and on welfare
(38:30):
and food stamps. And he said, well, it's because you're not an
infant soul. And I had neverheard of infant soul. So I was
like, oh, okay, infantstill with survival. You already got that
check, you did that, Okay. This is of course in the perspective
of reincarnation. The soul keeps growing, it gets the baby soul. Baby
(38:52):
soul's stranger danger. They seek othersto be like them, kind of a
more fundamentalist type religious viewpoint that Ineed you to be like me, and
you're going to go to hell ifyou're not, and you know all of
that. Babies. But when hetold me this, Karen, I was
(39:12):
like, I never got mad anymoreat my family or people. You're going
to help you don't believe the waywe do. I'm like I immediately in
my heart, I think, oh, they're a baby, they don't know
any better. I can't be madat them. They're trying to help me.
And then the soul keeps advancing.It goes to young soul. Young
souls are very interested in the materialgain game of life, and they see
(39:37):
others as something they need to getsomething from. They're young, right,
they're America is a young soul country, collectively, China young soul country,
United Emirates. You know, there'sa lot of young souls on the planet.
Young and baby souls make up themost people he set on the planet.
Then you know mature souls that aremore relationship orients to their growing.
(40:00):
Their interpersonal relationship with self with othersis important. And then you get the
old soul, old souls or visionaries. They're here to make a difference in
the world as they advance. Youdon't see them. They're in Ostrom's monasteries,
nunrees, meditating, praying all day. They're checked out of the material
game. So there's, you know, all these different soul ages. So
(40:22):
my viewpoint now is not so muchthat because I went through trauma, I
had a deep spiritual connection to spirit. No, I never not had that
connection. I remembered it because I'man old soul. It was nothing was
more important to me, even asa teenager. I mean, I like
(40:45):
nothing, nothing, I'm never Ibet you and I could both agree on
this. We're not small talkers.Go deep or go home. I don't
want to talk about the weather,you know, Oh my god, where
you've been on my life? Like, let's get down to the nitty gritty,
you know, yeah, yeah,yeah that. I used to work
(41:08):
in the er and I would walkin and I would, you know,
greet people. But I'm like,I'm here because someone you love believes that
you're planning to complete suicide or attempt. Can we talk about that, please,
Let's not beat around the bush,because I'm here to try to save
(41:28):
you if you want to be saved, you know. And they'd be like,
well, no one's ever said thatto me like that. I'm like,
yeah, I'm busy. I'm busy, and I'm sure you've got better
things to do and staying in theed all day. So let's let's talk
about this, because I believe yourlife has purpose, you know, but
what do you think about that?You know, and it really it really
helped disarm people to so I couldhelp them more quickly, you know,
(41:52):
like, you know, I dowant to live, but I just don't
have the skills. I don't knowhow I'm going to do this, Like
okay, well let's get you morehop you know, there's other ways.
And sometimes it's just bills. Likesome people, they just felt so overwhelmed.
I'm like, oh, money issuch a temporary thing. It's it
comes, it goes, it flows. Please don't take your life over money.
(42:15):
You know, you could wake uptomorrow and money be flowing, you
know. And just educating people andhelping them see their problems from different perspectives.
Yeah, that's beautiful. Thank youfor doing that work. I'm sure
that was very impactful to the peopleyou helped. Yeah, it was.
It was. I did a lotof learning and growing during that time,
(42:37):
and I had a suicide attempt myselfwhen I was I think twelve, Oh
okay, and God's like, nope, you were not chicken out. Yeah
we got we got you got lotsto do for me. Yeah yeah,
yeah, I love it. Sopeople listening to us today and they think
(43:00):
you're the BEA's knees, like you'relike an answer prayer for them. What's
the best way to reach out toyou through my website either Janawilson dot com
or going to the Emotional Actually JanelWilson. It says work with Jana and
you can click on it and it'lltake you over to the Emotional Healing Retreat
website, and that's the best waywe do have. When this podcast airs,
(43:24):
we'll have already had a group retreat, but we'll have another one,
So do check the website and we'llhave one a quarter somewhere in the country
or possibly somewhere else, maybe CostaRica or somewhere else. But yeah,
we were wanting in twenty twenty fourto have one every quarter. With the
(43:45):
pandemic, we went down to oneand then two a year. So yeah,
right now we've just been doing two. We just wrapped San Diego and
we try to do California and Floridaand somewhere in the middle. But your
website's beautiful, by the way,Oh, thank you, thank you very
much. Yeah, i'd like tosay to the listeners just to you know,
(44:09):
self love. I began this journeybecause I knew I didn't love myself
right because it wasn't modeled right tohow to love myself. My mom didn't
love herself. I didn't. Igave myself up to men, to anybody
who would give me attention. AndI was really interested in my twenties about
(44:30):
you know, in psychology. Iwas in college of course, taking courses
and understanding how do we love ourself? And it's so much more than a
bubble bath, right and a dayat the spot spot. So there's six
ways I came up that we loveourselves. One is emotionally to emotionally like,
connect with ourself, tell ourself lovingthings physically, the food we eat,
(44:53):
the way we move our body.Third, spiritually, do you have
spiritual practice or you daily have adevotion something nature somewhere where you're really connecting
to the unseen. Organizationally, childrenthrive and organize environments, right, we
want to keep things clean and clutterlessand organize ourselves. Financially, we don't.
(45:17):
We want to make sure the lightsstay on and everything's paid, and
maybe we're debt free and we're takingcare of ourself, being a good steward
over our finances and last as relationships. How are you loving yourself in relationships?
Because in the mirror relationship, everybody'sreflecting you back to you. I'm
in relationship with somebody who continually dismissesme, disrespects me. What does that
(45:39):
say about me? That I mustbe doing that to myself? So I
must be disrespecting myself or I wouldn'tallow it. Right, because birds of
a feather flock together, Water seeksits own level. Like attracts like,
And beknownst to some people who saythat opposites a tract, you're your strategies
(46:00):
might be opposite, but you're goingto attract the same person as you.
If you're abusive to yourself, you'regoing to attract somebody who's abusive. So
really, just if you're loving andkind to yourself, you're going to attract
someone living in kind. Yeah,it took me a while to get it,
but I agree with you, andnow I have the most amazing spouse.
(46:22):
But Mien, I kiss a lotof frogs. First, Yeah,
we're not amazing to me. Therewere teachers they were showing us where we
had growth. Yeah. Yeah,Well, I hate to end this because
I think you have a lot ofwell, I know, you have a
lot of value to share with theworld and the women out there that are
(46:45):
suffering right now. So I justwant to say I appreciate you work,
the work you do. It's notoften I see someone that is wrapped around
the whole person, you know,spiritually, mentally, physically, and really
like it says something that you gotthe Mago therapy experience because you don't unlearn
(47:07):
what we learn, and you gotthe heart mouth experience and the teaching you
do and the meditation you do.You just offer such a great package.
Do you know that about yourself?Right? Yeah? Thank you. I
mean that's what started me on thispath. I was like, I know
there's certain pieces and the more Istudied with this teacher that I started to
say, this is important, Ohthis, Oh this is what it needs.
(47:30):
If I could teach somebody this system, I mean there's only one or
two they could take just meditation andchange your life, but if they practiced
everything from the shadow work to repairentingto even envisioning. We didn't even get
into that. How I teach youknow, I was trained law of attraction,
(47:50):
but even goes back so much deeper. How to manifest, how to
begin to develop these supernatural powers basedon your desires and your wants. So
we kind of it's a full youknow, definitely, I knew that was
the whole system. Yeah, yeah, I knew that was there just from
the book and what you said aboutyour spiritual beliefs. You know, it's
(48:16):
when people believe that they're a wayof honoring God is the only way.
It's very limited thinking, you know. So I loved what you said.
Well, you know, I'm aChristian, but I'm open to all aspects
of spirituality. I think that's justhuge. Yeah, thank you, Karen,
(48:38):
and thank you so much for whatyou're doing, you know, for
having me on. I'm so appreciativeand thank you so much. And I'm
enjoying your book. That's the wrongway to say it. I think I'm
finding your book to be powerful,and once I'm finished, I will be
writing a review and I wish youlots of success with that. Thank you
(49:00):
so much. I appreciate it.Okay, thank you again, Thank you,
Thank you for listening in today.Please join us next week, same
day and time. Also, Iwould love for you to check out my
website heel thrivedream dot com.
Welcome to the Heal Thrived Dream Podcast, where trauma survivors become healthy thrivers.
Each month will feature a theme inthe trauma recovery and empowerment field to promote
your recovery, healing and learning howto build dreams. Here's your host,
Karen Robinson, transformational coach and therapist. Hi, Welcome back to the Heal
(00:28):
Thrived Dream Podcast. Our guest isJana Wilson. Janna is an emotional healing
educator, meditation teacher, retreat leader, hypnotherapists, heart math facilitator, and
founder of the Emotional Healing System That'sQuite the bio Already. For the past
(00:52):
two decades, she has taught thousandsinternationally in group in private retreats, trained
with best selling author and physician DeepakChopra. In New York Times best selling
author Debbie Ford, I'm excited aboutyour bio. Anything else you want to
(01:14):
aduate about your husband or your family? Now? Where you live, Well,
I'm an author that's not on there. Finally, Well, I'll be
a published author in July. AndI live in Santa Fe. We live
off the grid. We have Teslabattery, you know, backup batteries we're
all solar. I have a healingcenter here. Yeah. My husband's a
(01:37):
physician and he's my partner as well. Very cool. And the book that's
coming out by the time this podcastair is that it'll already be out,
and I want to encourage people togo out and grab a copy. Do
you want to share the title andwhat inspired you to write it? Oh?
Sure, I'd love to. Thanks, Karen. I the the you
(02:00):
know, writing the book. Titleis interesting when you're writing a book because
you really got to get the storiesout. Title is just like not even
important at some point towards the end. Is when the title really started.
I was like, okay, Ihave to come up with the title,
and so much of my story asyou're reading, you know, it starts.
(02:21):
I'm twelve years old. I havethis out of body experience based you
know, in a traumatic event that'shappening between my mom and dad. My
inner child and my cultivating a connectionwith my emotional self, which is what
the inner child is, began veryyoung. I lived a lot in my
imaginary world, of course, disassociatingfrom the domestic violence and the things that
(02:46):
was going on around me. Andwriting the book brought up a lot of
that, you know. Of course, I've spent almost twenty years teaching and
before that healing myself. So Icould be at a place, but I
don't believe we fully arrive. Ibelieve that life is a journey of peeling
back, that never ending onion,right the layers, and Wise Little One
(03:09):
came to me. Actually, Iwas getting a massage, laugh and it
just popped in right when I wasin that really relaxed state. I heard
it, whise Little One, learningto love and listen to my inner child,
because that's really what catapulted me ontothis path of healing, was my
connection to my emotional self, whichis the inner child. So Wise Little
(03:35):
One is the name of it.It is a memoir. So I'm sharing
my own personal story of how myparents were conditioned and then of course how
they conditioned me, and then whatthat conditioning did, so that the reader
understands the journey of how our psycheis formed, how our personalities are formed,
(03:57):
the journey of you know, thiswhole path of growth from developmental trauma
to even pre cognitive, pre conscioustrauma. You've read the book, so
what in chapter I believe two orthree I share about being in the womb.
And I found this out through myhypnotherapy school training, that I wrapped
(04:21):
the cord around my neck and breachedmyself attempting to commit suicide in the womb.
That sounds kind of crazy, butonce you understand that, now we
have research and knowledge that we aresentient beings clearly, and that pre conscious,
precognitive I'm being fed through an umbilicalcord of hormones of my mom being
(04:44):
beaten and depressed. Of course,who wants to live? Right? So?
Yeah, there you were born withthe cord actually around your neck.
Yeah, and now I knew thatinformation. I had that knowledge of being
breach and the cord. I justdidn't know I did it until you know,
I was in my thirties and Iwent through a hypnotherapy session and saw
(05:09):
it. How did you help?I don't know if you have words.
Do you have words to describe howthat impacted you? To have that knowledge,
Well, it gave me a deepsense of compassion for myself. You
know, this journey that my soulI believe contracted for with these parents who
were deeply you know, and let'sface it, parenting doesn't come with a
(05:31):
manual. You know, and youknow, we aren't taught emotional intelligence,
and so my parents were extremely ignorantand unconscious and acting out their conditioning.
And you know, it just gaveme compassion, like a deep compassion for
little Jana that bless her heart.You know, there's a part of me
(05:51):
that that That's why when I haveclients or people come to me and they've
had suicide ideation, I understand.You know that life it's difficult being in
this human body. It's difficult inthis experience, and when we don't have
the necessary spiritual tools to manage ourselves, it becomes even more difficult. So
(06:16):
it's an option that many people,you know, entertain, Yeah, I
would it be okay if we stayedon the suicide track for a second?
Sure? Yeah. How many timesin your lifespan after you know in utero,
did you have thoughts and feelings orurges to complete suicide or considered suicide?
(06:42):
Yeah? I think when I so, then you it starts in the
prologue at twelve, So what precipitatedthat event at twelve years old? Well,
we'd have to go back in timea little. So when I'm eight,
my mom puts a shotgun to myhead and my brother and she's in
a blackout. And my mom wasdiagnosed. You know, she was mentally
(07:05):
ill and she never drank, butthis time she had drank with valume and
she was and we got taken away, and I remember starting to wet the
bed. I started waiting the bedat my aunt's house while I was staying
with her. After my mom wastaken away, and I was in a
(07:25):
pretty dark place. So my grandmotherintervened, who I was very close to,
and she came and took me soI didn't have to live with that
aunt and things got better. Butas soon as Mom got out of the
hospital, she was in it foralmost a year, and they would do
electroshock treatment. The interesting thing thegift in my mom's trauma, and my
(07:46):
mom would attempt suicide all the time. She would slice her wrist. I
would find her with a razor blade. She never cut deep enough, but
she certainly And that's why she wastaken away a lot, right, because
she was behaving this way. Andso when I saw that behavior model to
me in other words, is whatI'm saying. I saw my mom attempting
to check out. So that wasmodeled to me, oh, that's an
(08:09):
option, right though, I don'treally think about it until around twelve when
I'm back with her after the gun. I'm like reunited with her around nine
years old, so it's been afew years. She allows my dad to
come back. It's the battered womansyndrome and that he's beating her once again,
and I'm praying for help. Butright before that event, I remember
(08:33):
feeling like I should take this bottleof aspirin. I was given some or
tile and all or something. Iwas given something Mom had given me and
I knew where it was, andI remember registering, if you know,
that could be an option if Iwant to just check out. So that's
the only time then I had theout of body experience, and then I
(08:54):
really never experienced it again. Youknow, I had depressed of episodes because
I didn't have tools to manage myemotions, but I never wanted to completely,
you know, check out and killmyself. You knew you had a
purpose, right, is that right? Yeah? Yeah. The being pulled
(09:15):
out of my body and told thoseare not your parents, I am,
that is not your life. Thisis woke me up. It was a
mystical spiritual awakening. That happened soyoung that it it completely altered my view
of myself and the world after that, so I was I was good to
(09:37):
go. You know. I wasthe first in my family to graduate high
school. I was the first togo to college. I was the first
to you know. It's like afterthat experience, I had a mission and
then I got I read a book. It changed my life Many lives,
Many Masters by doctor Brian Weisse.I am to say that again, many
(09:58):
lives my doctor Brian Wisse. Iended up training with him. He's a
head of psychology at Mount Sinai Hospitalin Miami Beach. That book was life
changing. It helped me reframe mychildhood from a perspective that empowered me,
Like I began to look at myself, Karen, like I am a badass
(10:22):
whole, or I wouldn't have chosethose two parents, or I wouldn't have
went through all that, Like Imust have some purpose, right, Yeah,
And it is a special person whocan take their parents' limitations and see
that there's a message that will helpyou have strength in the healer that you
(10:46):
are today. Right, Like that'snot an easy thing to see, but
you see it and you've dedicated yourlife and your career to you know,
being a healer. And I don'tknow if that's if you don't if you
haven't had the opportunity to heal yourself. Absolutely yeah, you can heal or
heal thyself. I started to recognizethis actually later, but early in my
(11:13):
career. So I'm in my latethirties, I've you know, launched a
retreat business. I've trained with DebbieFord at that point, so I'm an
integrative coach. I had three yearsof training, so I was at the
master level. I was, youknow, just launching my business. And
I remember I had a retreat inJupiter, Florida, where I'm from,
(11:35):
where I lived and raised my daughter, and my mother came and cooked for
us. It was like twenty fiveladies, and I remember having this awareness.
It was like a download, youknow how like it was just all
came really fast, and it waslike spirit showed me the connection between my
(11:56):
mom and myself that as a littlegirl, she was having electroshock treatment for
her depression. That's rewiring the brain. Now we know through neuroplasticity, we
can rewire our own brain. Wedon't need electro shock treatment. They still
do electro convulsive therapy, and it'sactually necessary, it's not inhumane, and
(12:20):
it rewires the patient's brain. However, if they come back to the same
environment, they don't have any modifiedchange or behavior. Right, they go
back, but my mom would comeback in an altered state. You'll read
it in the book she would bereading teaching me Raymond Moody Near Death Experiences.
We read the Bible, I mean, she was very kind of mainstream
(12:43):
Biblical, and then she would goshe started to download all this information,
even astrology, a lot of esotericmystical teachings. And I was a sponge.
Now what if I didn't have thatmuch who lit me up at such
a young age with these concepts andideas that were absolutely mind expanding, I
(13:09):
might not be who I am today. Right. It was all a part
of that contract. So I beganto look at my mother through the lens
instead of of the victim, mentallyill, weak woman that I thought she
was, to living more in amystery of you know, maybe my mom
(13:31):
sacrificed to be here, you know, to guide me to help so many
people. That's one way of lookingat her differently, Right, that's more
empowering than oh she's a victim andweak and you remember that song like what
if God was one of us?A slob? Like one of us like
(13:54):
yes, like we don't know,you know, yeah, yeah, yeah,
I love that refrain, you know. And I also think it shows
like how complicated we are as people. You know, people that hurt us,
we know that they've been hurt significantlythemselves, and we know that that
(14:15):
that it doesn't make them bad.Yeah, maybe their behavior is what we
could label as bad, but there'salso so much good, you know.
So it's when people are complex,our feelings about them are usually complex.
Has that been your experience? Oh? Yeah, I mean, I you
know, I'm I mean I thinkthat hurt. As you said, hurting
(14:37):
people hurt people, and you know, we we as one of my teachers
around Dads says, we're all walkingeach other home, I mean back to
the heart. Right. So it'slike, how can I, to the
degree that I've healed my own sayanger, I can sit and be present
(14:58):
with you and yours. If Ican't be with my anger, then when
you're angry, I'm of course goingto project it, vilify it, and
be angry you're angry, which isa real cosmic joke. It's like,
wait a minute, I'm judging youfor judging me. I'm angry, You're
(15:18):
angry, Yes, that's yeah.It's hard to wrap our head around that
for sure. But it's projection shadowand you know, that's one of the
main things that I teach with theEmotional Healing System is how to see yourself
in the mirror of relationship. Sobefore we dive into that, because I
(15:45):
definitely want to, I'm curious aboutwhat happened to your brother over times.
How is he doing? Are youcomfortable with talking about him at all?
Sure? I worry about I'm worriedabout him. Yeah, yeah, he
So you know Roy was abused.I wasn't by my dad. I was
by my mother. Of course hewas too, but Dad's fury was insane
(16:10):
and it really wounded my brother.He's not had the best relationships. He's
been married twice and divorced, andhe's in a good place now. We
buried my mom last year. Shehad Alzheimer's and she still remembered us though
in the end, even late stage, like she still knew. She would
(16:32):
say, do you belong to me? You belonged to me? Like she
knew, you know, like therewas a it was sweet. But I
looked at the Alzheimer's from I reframedit and I began to see it instead
of again as a victim, thatit was really grace because she lived in
so much turmoil from the past,she didn't remember anything. So she was
(16:53):
just in the present moment, youknow, happy as she could be.
But Roy, my brother, andI, spiritually speaking, went very opposite
directions. He's and I talk aboutit in the book. He's very fundamentalist
Christian and I'm a Christian, butI'm open to all viewpoints, so I
(17:15):
don't feel there's one way, andyou know, so there's a big fundamental
difference in our beliefs. I lovemy brother consciously speaking, though you know,
we're we're in you know, Ispeak Greek and he doesn't understand it
real well. So there's not alot to talk about, right So,
but he's a good person and Ilove him, and you know, I
(17:37):
it's when you trauma bond with somebodylike he and I did, that bond
is really hard to break. Imean, we he was my protector for
many years and I love him dearly, but he's struggled with drug addiction,
and you know he's doing good nowthough, and he has been for a
while. So yeah, I'm reallyglad to hear that. Yeah, thank
(18:00):
you for asking. Yeah, becausesometimes, well, the research shows us
in domestic violent situations that you know, people think child abuse is worse than
domestic violence for kids, but theresearch shows the kids witnessing domestic violence is
very, very threatening for them becauseif your protectors can't protect each other or
(18:26):
get on a similar page, itjust threatens everything for children. So you
had that going on, you hadto worry about your brother, You had
the gun thing with your mom.Does this summarize most of your traumas or
is there even more on top ofthat? Oh, there's more, you'll
get to them. I don't thinkyou're there in the story yet. So
(18:48):
I was date raped in college.Somebody put something in my drink. I
mean, when we're raised, whenwe have parents, as you said,
that can't manage their emotions and theyaren't functioning well as a healthy adult,
they're arrested. Developed Really, bothmy parents did not develop beyond stages of
(19:10):
childhood right because they didn't have thesupport they needed and what they needed.
So now they're having children and they'reteenagers. I mean, my mom was
I think nineteen when she had mybrothers, was twenty two when she had
me. You know, they're underthe age of twenty five. Their brain's
not developed. I mean, itwas, you know, a recipe for
disaster, but they you know,when it puts us in survival. Like
(19:33):
you said, witnessing someone that broughtyou into the world trying to kill each
other and tarry each other apart meansyou might be next. And sometimes we
were, you know, Roy forsure, Me not so much. I
got lots of bankings though, witha belt and stuff with my mom and
you know, so that was definitelyabuse as well. I think, you
(19:57):
know, I just my parents.I can't even say they did the best
they could because they didn't. Theyjust didn't know better. They were unconscious,
and like you said, you knowthey you know, I live pretty
much in survival mode in complex posttraumatic stress disorder, you know, which
(20:18):
makes me pretty complicated. You know, I'm a highly sensitive person. I
have to be. I can't bein crowds a lot, you know,
loud noises, a lot of thingsupset me. You know, I live,
like I do, off the gridand nature, because right, I
need lots of and of course I'msupporting a lot of people, holding space
(20:38):
for a lot of people to healthat have had significant traumas. And I'm
not a trained clinician in the termsof traditional therapy because frankly, I don't.
I believe it works somewhat, butit's top down. It's addressing symptoms,
not root cause. You go toa therapist, Oh I'm depressed,
Okay, here's a pill. I'manxious, here's a pill. You know,
(21:00):
it's let's talk about it for fiftyminutes. Not enough time, and
there's no tools given. So Iobject a little bit because I'm a trauma
recovery expert and a therapist, butI hear what you're saying, and that's
often true, but it's more psychiatrygives mess. Therapists don't prescribe meds.
(21:23):
But even in psychotherapy, there's notenough time and the system isn't created.
You know. I'm also trauma andform trained, and you know, when
we are dealing with root cause,it's different than going and to a therapist
and speaking about our doing all cognitivesay CBT, cognitive abel therapy or you
(21:48):
know, that's why I feel like, I mean, I think one person,
yeah, the whole person, thewhole and also going back and you
know, through hypnotherapy or using differenttypes of motive to really get to the
root cause of what so, becausea lot of people are operating too from
emotional addiction right just to their story, and cookie cutter approaches just don't work.
(22:15):
Like everybody is a unique individual.And I agree with what you're saying
in terms of we've got to lookat the spiritual moral injuries. We got
to look at the body and what'shappening inside, you know, the body
and the nervous system, you know, the medical issues that come up,
the mental issues that come up.You treat the whole person. So I
(22:36):
think we agree on that. Buttell me a little more about go ahead,
I want to hear more about youremotional healing system. I think it's
very exciting. Yeah. So thesystem is, you know, nothing that
I obviously created on my own.It's you know, really some of these
teachings go back six thousand years.So its foundation is it's really in a
(22:59):
life alignment with emotional intelligence and theskills of emotional intelligence. So the foundation
of emotional intelligence is self awareness.So the system we create, I mean,
we teach meditation. So meditation isfoundational for self awareness because essentially all
(23:21):
you're doing in meditation is becoming awarewhen you're lost in thought, and your
attention is your most valuable asset.So if you're aware throughout the day when
you're lost in thought, because youmeditated that morning and built a muscle,
say, of awareness, of strengtheningwhat you're aware of, what your where
(23:41):
your mind and your attention is,becomes a superpower because then you have free
will to put it on that whichyou desire. Right. So a lot
of people, as I said,are have emotional addiction, and they're addicted
to stories and woe is Me andvictimization and they don't even know it.
They're not even aware of it,right, It's just and so once you
(24:04):
start to meditate, you start togo into what we call witnessing awareness,
so you are the witness of whatyou're thinking and doing. You're so aware
of what you're feeling in the midstof feeling, right, you're aware of
what you're thinking in the midst ofthinking that you have maustery and you can
shift your attention on what you chooseat will. So that's foundational meditation.
(24:32):
I won't work with anyone who whogets into a story or complains and says
they can't meditate. My opinion is, if you can't, you can't do
nothing well. How do you expectto do anything well when you're sitting to
meditate the benefits of meditation. Deepakalways said this, and doctor Simon,
(24:52):
so Deepak's indracinologists, doctor Simon wasneurologists. They both said if they were
ever diagnosed with any kind of lifethreatening disease or diagnosis, and they only
had one thing to choose, it'dbe meditation. So that's very telling,
isn't it. Yeah, So meditationis key balanced the autonomic nervous system,
(25:15):
you know, activate your pair sympathetic, get you in a really rest and
repair, rest and digest state soyou can be more resilient to stressors and
you know, be able to manage. Then once people we solidify, really
it's psycho spirituality, So we solidifyreally connection, what is spiritual guidance for
(25:36):
you? Supporting them to learn howto pray affirmatively, to connect to a
source of power that you know givesthem meaning and purpose. And a lot
of people are suffering because they're inan existential crisis because they have no connection
to spirit. It's like, what'sthat. They even confuse it with religion,
(25:56):
right, they think it's religion andit's not religion and is man made.
So spirituality is you know, itcan happen in nature, It can
happen. You know, it's cultivatinga relationship with something outside the five senses.
Right. I can't see it,taste it, touch it, here
it, or smell it. ButI'm making it more real than this real
(26:19):
world. I faith. So we'reconnecting. Really, you're here for a
purpose. You are unique, youare lovable, you are loved, you
are being supported. You're really supportingpeople in their spiritual journey. Once that's
established, we begin moving them intounderstanding their psyche and under it would teach
(26:40):
psychosynthesis and shadow work, combining thetwo and really helping people understand that you
know, they are a three sixtydegree personality. You know that that we
have you know, parts therapy,parts of ourself, and that we have
split off parts. You know,I don't want to be called a bitch.
(27:03):
Say so I split that part off. Then I'm bitchy to people at
home and I'm nice to everybody andfake outside because I'm repressing that aspect of
my personality. I become a doormat, I become I have no voice,
you know. So shadow works reallyabout reclaiming the lost parts of ourselves and
bringing them back into wholeness. Andthen once people understand that, we do
(27:26):
different practices, like we'll do mirrorwork. So in the mirror relationship,
you know, say I don't wantto be I said weak, mentally ill
and you know lost, say likemy mother. So then I would work
with the client and mirror that back. You are weak, lost, and
mentally ill just like your mother,and they have to step into it.
(27:49):
Disposure therapy around those triggers. Webegin to soften the trigger when it's too
intense, because I don't believe IAM can be those things. Is really
a way that we speak about God. So the I am of us can't
be sick, mentally ill, whatever. So sometimes we'll add it into more
(28:10):
the psychosynthesis. Sometimes I'm this wayor there's a part of me that's this
way, because I'm you know,got lots of parts of me. So
people start to have big breakthroughs,big breakthroughs because they're saying out loud,
the things they would never want saidto them. Right, it's like whoa.
(28:30):
They're scared of it at first,but the floodgates open and when they
do the healing that occurs, it'slike they just dumped the huge tumor that
was killing them, you know,and they're powerful. Yeah, completely different.
After a thirty minute mirroring exercise,then we go into repairenting, teaching
(28:52):
steps of repairenting and how to connectwith your emotions like a child go through
certain steps. I teach step bystep up and asking questions and connecting to
spiritual guidance because that's a big pieceof it, really understanding. And so
many people operate from what I callthe operating system of their childhood, right,
(29:12):
their conditioning I'm not good enough,I'm unlovable. Somewhere they made a
decision, a false belief about themselves. So now we're working with them to
see it was a child that madethat, To find the memory of what
happened when they made that belief,and then go back and rescue the child
through hypnotherapy, bring it back intothis present moment and hear the truth that
(29:36):
you are loved, You are lovable. What do I need to do every
day to show that to myself andcreate that bond right with self where my
internal dialogue is one that's now,I'm proud of you. You're doing a
great job, and instead of whatan idiot you were. I can't believe
you did that, you know.So we begin to befriend ourselves like would
(30:00):
a little child. And I'll tellpeople to take a picture of themselves,
put it on your wallpaper, onyour phone, put it everywhere. Start
to dialogue, Start to think aboutthat little child and the challenges they were
going through, and open your heartlike a loving parent would and listen and
learn what is that child trying totell you? Wow? Wow, that's
(30:29):
a lot. It's so crazy powerfulthough. It's like everything that I teach
and talk about and beyond, youknow, is you know, I talk
about reparenting. You know, Italk about that wounded child inside of us
and source and you know that thespirit within us that's rooting for us and
(30:52):
can heal us, can do anythingwe want. You know. It was
just you know, faith. Sowhat you're doing is so beautifully powerful,
and I just don't understand the timeline, Like do you do this all during
a retreat. Do you have coursesas well, like how do you do
all this work? So we yeah, so we do do it. And
(31:18):
so private work a minimum is aweek so people will come here and stay.
You know, private is really it'sit's very expensive because we don't take
insurance, so you're looking at closeto ten thousand dollars for a week.
But we provide everything. I mean, we're with you six to eight hours
a day. You know, youalso massage, body work, you know,
(31:40):
there's other things shamanic healing, energyhealing. So we really created an
experience equine therapy, like a wholeexperience, right, sound, bath,
breath work, you know, soit's a whole. Now, group retreat
we do almost very similar to theprivate work. However, it's a five
(32:02):
day as well. On Monday throughFriday. We're in a resort. You
know, we're somewhere lovely and youknow, by the beach or somewhere nice.
But everybody's individual, right, IfI take a group through a hypnotherapy
process, I can't take notes.They have to remember and be very engaged.
So groups are powerful. I mean, you know, you can't compare
(32:25):
them to private though, even thoughit's the same content. But the book,
the workbook that they get, Imean you can see it's it's a
lot. It's six almost seventy pages, and it's you know, a lot
of information. My husband and Iare actually co authoring the Emotional Healing System
book, the guidebook now it'll bepublished sometime late this year, early next
(32:50):
year. And we have an onlinecourse and we just recorded this online course
Karen, with the intention people whocan number one, because we have a
foundation, a nonprofit, so weoffer I was a single mom for seven
years, so I offer private usuallyfull scholarship for a single mom who applies
about three or four a year.I'll do and in group we give scholarships
(33:16):
as well. But you know,still even groups a couple grand private,
I told you, is very expensive. So we wanted to offer this retreat
in an online platform. So wejust did professional recording a couple of weeks
ago. It's getting put up,it should be launching soon, and it'll
be very affordable, you know,like three hundred bucks and you have it
(33:38):
for life, and it's done verywell, right, so everything so excited.
Yes, we're very excited about thisone. Yeah, and I think
like the individual retreat price is youknow, market, like you can't really
(33:59):
go on to reach treat and getthat kind of attention for hundred ten thousand.
So but I understand like only certainclientele. Maybe I'll come with that,
But if you think about the longterm benefits of just going away where
you're focusing on just you and yourspirituality, your mental health, your physical
body. Yeah, and do youguys, do any relationship work too as
(34:22):
well as they're all just solved atthe mirror. Yeah. So I'm trained
in imago therapy, but I stopdoing couples because I always found, you
know, one wanted it more thanthe other, so I would end up
just saying that person comes. Itonly takes one person to change your relationship,
you know, the person who's reallyinvested come. Then I just moved
(34:43):
away from doing it, and Ireally the intent with the book is to
reach more people, to build thegroups bigger. We have a teacher training
as well, so we've trained abouta dozen people so far, so every
time we open it up and we'vebeen kind of inconsistent with that. But
we have another one starting probably inthe fall. It'll opposed to October of
(35:06):
this year for the next cohort,but we teach people in this so that
they can essentially coach people on thephone and use this model of you know
what we teach to people. Sowe're trying to reach people as many ways
as possible, right from the lowestto a book, say under twenty bucks,
(35:27):
to you know, how can weshare this knowledge in the best way
with the highest integrity and make itaffordable for everybody and then still offer it
also to people who really need andcan't afford it. Oh beautiful, Yeah,
I think you're in your husband's background. Yeah, so he's so an
(35:51):
empty Yeah, he's an MD.He was trained in emergency medicine. He
did that for about fifteen years andthen he went into the corporate side of
the business. So now he runslarge groups. So he's usually running a
group of you know, four orfive hundred clinicians doctors. So one of
his things that he loves to dois healing the healers, So we do
(36:15):
have that at our website too.For clinicians, we're really trying to support
them have a very high suicide rate, a lot of addiction. You know,
they do have God complex, butthey also don't feel like they can
ask for help because they're the oneswho always help, so it's challenging and
(36:35):
you know, working with them toget them across the line to say I
need help. I'm unhappy, andusually their unhappiness is what everybody else is.
It's a lack of spiritual connection.Some of us were born with it.
You. Yeah, I feel thesame way about myself. You do.
(36:57):
Yeah. Well, I I can'tremember where I read this or where
I heard it, but somebody ifsomething like survivors are more spiritually enlightened or
had the possibility of being more spiritualenlightened. And I just love that because
I think, you know, oneour spidey senses, intuition, spirit is
(37:22):
on higher, it's just more evolved. I think we're incredibly compassionate. I
think that's just a beautiful mix.Now, of course, there's people that
have been hurt and have shut downtheir ability to connect with spirit, but
I think if they want to changethat around, there's hope for that.
(37:45):
Yeah. I agree. I feellike I feel like it comes really to
the soul that you know. Ihave a teacher who's who runs a shamanic
institute here and he taught me.He said, Jana, did you ever
wonder why you weren't born like inplaces where life expectancy was maybe forty and
(38:09):
you were having your volva cut outlike they do in the congo or starving.
You know, I grew up poor, but I still had awareness that
I was privileged in a lot ofways, right because I was American and
anyway, I said, yeah,I have thought about that a lot when
I was a child, especially growingup being called trailer trash and on welfare
(38:30):
and food stamps. And he said, well, it's because you're not an
infant soul. And I had neverheard of infant soul. So I was
like, oh, okay, infantstill with survival. You already got that
check, you did that, Okay. This is of course in the perspective
of reincarnation. The soul keeps growing, it gets the baby soul. Baby
(38:52):
soul's stranger danger. They seek othersto be like them, kind of a
more fundamentalist type religious viewpoint that Ineed you to be like me, and
you're going to go to hell ifyou're not, and you know all of
that. Babies. But when hetold me this, Karen, I was
(39:12):
like, I never got mad anymoreat my family or people. You're going
to help you don't believe the waywe do. I'm like I immediately in
my heart, I think, oh, they're a baby, they don't know
any better. I can't be madat them. They're trying to help me.
And then the soul keeps advancing.It goes to young soul. Young
souls are very interested in the materialgain game of life, and they see
(39:37):
others as something they need to getsomething from. They're young, right,
they're America is a young soul country, collectively, China young soul country,
United Emirates. You know, there'sa lot of young souls on the planet.
Young and baby souls make up themost people he set on the planet.
Then you know mature souls that aremore relationship orients to their growing.
(40:00):
Their interpersonal relationship with self with othersis important. And then you get the
old soul, old souls or visionaries. They're here to make a difference in
the world as they advance. Youdon't see them. They're in Ostrom's monasteries,
nunrees, meditating, praying all day. They're checked out of the material
game. So there's, you know, all these different soul ages. So
(40:22):
my viewpoint now is not so muchthat because I went through trauma, I
had a deep spiritual connection to spirit. No, I never not had that
connection. I remembered it because I'man old soul. It was nothing was
more important to me, even asa teenager. I mean, I like
(40:45):
nothing, nothing, I'm never Ibet you and I could both agree on
this. We're not small talkers.Go deep or go home. I don't
want to talk about the weather,you know, Oh my god, where
you've been on my life? Like, let's get down to the nitty gritty,
you know, yeah, yeah,yeah that. I used to work
(41:08):
in the er and I would walkin and I would, you know,
greet people. But I'm like,I'm here because someone you love believes that
you're planning to complete suicide or attempt. Can we talk about that, please,
Let's not beat around the bush,because I'm here to try to save
(41:28):
you if you want to be saved, you know. And they'd be like,
well, no one's ever said thatto me like that. I'm like,
yeah, I'm busy. I'm busy, and I'm sure you've got better
things to do and staying in theed all day. So let's let's talk
about this, because I believe yourlife has purpose, you know, but
what do you think about that?You know, and it really it really
helped disarm people to so I couldhelp them more quickly, you know,
(41:52):
like, you know, I dowant to live, but I just don't
have the skills. I don't knowhow I'm going to do this, Like
okay, well let's get you morehop you know, there's other ways.
And sometimes it's just bills. Likesome people, they just felt so overwhelmed.
I'm like, oh, money issuch a temporary thing. It's it
comes, it goes, it flows. Please don't take your life over money.
(42:15):
You know, you could wake uptomorrow and money be flowing, you
know. And just educating people andhelping them see their problems from different perspectives.
Yeah, that's beautiful. Thank youfor doing that work. I'm sure
that was very impactful to the peopleyou helped. Yeah, it was.
It was. I did a lotof learning and growing during that time,
(42:37):
and I had a suicide attempt myselfwhen I was I think twelve, Oh
okay, and God's like, nope, you were not chicken out. Yeah
we got we got you got lotsto do for me. Yeah yeah,
yeah, I love it. Sopeople listening to us today and they think
(43:00):
you're the BEA's knees, like you'relike an answer prayer for them. What's
the best way to reach out toyou through my website either Janawilson dot com
or going to the Emotional Actually JanelWilson. It says work with Jana and
you can click on it and it'lltake you over to the Emotional Healing Retreat
website, and that's the best waywe do have. When this podcast airs,
(43:24):
we'll have already had a group retreat, but we'll have another one,
So do check the website and we'llhave one a quarter somewhere in the country
or possibly somewhere else, maybe CostaRica or somewhere else. But yeah,
we were wanting in twenty twenty fourto have one every quarter. With the
(43:45):
pandemic, we went down to oneand then two a year. So yeah,
right now we've just been doing two. We just wrapped San Diego and
we try to do California and Floridaand somewhere in the middle. But your
website's beautiful, by the way,Oh, thank you, thank you very
much. Yeah, i'd like tosay to the listeners just to you know,
(44:09):
self love. I began this journeybecause I knew I didn't love myself
right because it wasn't modeled right tohow to love myself. My mom didn't
love herself. I didn't. Igave myself up to men, to anybody
who would give me attention. AndI was really interested in my twenties about
(44:30):
you know, in psychology. Iwas in college of course, taking courses
and understanding how do we love ourself? And it's so much more than a
bubble bath, right and a dayat the spot spot. So there's six
ways I came up that we loveourselves. One is emotionally to emotionally like,
connect with ourself, tell ourself lovingthings physically, the food we eat,
(44:53):
the way we move our body.Third, spiritually, do you have
spiritual practice or you daily have adevotion something nature somewhere where you're really connecting
to the unseen. Organizationally, childrenthrive and organize environments, right, we
want to keep things clean and clutterlessand organize ourselves. Financially, we don't.
(45:17):
We want to make sure the lightsstay on and everything's paid, and
maybe we're debt free and we're takingcare of ourself, being a good steward
over our finances and last as relationships. How are you loving yourself in relationships?
Because in the mirror relationship, everybody'sreflecting you back to you. I'm
in relationship with somebody who continually dismissesme, disrespects me. What does that
(45:39):
say about me? That I mustbe doing that to myself? So I
must be disrespecting myself or I wouldn'tallow it. Right, because birds of
a feather flock together, Water seeksits own level. Like attracts like,
And beknownst to some people who saythat opposites a tract, you're your strategies
(46:00):
might be opposite, but you're goingto attract the same person as you.
If you're abusive to yourself, you'regoing to attract somebody who's abusive. So
really, just if you're loving andkind to yourself, you're going to attract
someone living in kind. Yeah,it took me a while to get it,
but I agree with you, andnow I have the most amazing spouse.
(46:22):
But Mien, I kiss a lotof frogs. First, Yeah,
we're not amazing to me. Therewere teachers they were showing us where we
had growth. Yeah. Yeah,Well, I hate to end this because
I think you have a lot ofwell, I know, you have a
lot of value to share with theworld and the women out there that are
(46:45):
suffering right now. So I justwant to say I appreciate you work,
the work you do. It's notoften I see someone that is wrapped around
the whole person, you know,spiritually, mentally, physically, and really
like it says something that you gotthe Mago therapy experience because you don't unlearn
(47:07):
what we learn, and you gotthe heart mouth experience and the teaching you
do and the meditation you do.You just offer such a great package.
Do you know that about yourself?Right? Yeah? Thank you. I
mean that's what started me on thispath. I was like, I know
there's certain pieces and the more Istudied with this teacher that I started to
say, this is important, Ohthis, Oh this is what it needs.
(47:30):
If I could teach somebody this system, I mean there's only one or
two they could take just meditation andchange your life, but if they practiced
everything from the shadow work to repairentingto even envisioning. We didn't even get
into that. How I teach youknow, I was trained law of attraction,
(47:50):
but even goes back so much deeper. How to manifest, how to
begin to develop these supernatural powers basedon your desires and your wants. So
we kind of it's a full youknow, definitely, I knew that was
the whole system. Yeah, yeah, I knew that was there just from
the book and what you said aboutyour spiritual beliefs. You know, it's
(48:16):
when people believe that they're a wayof honoring God is the only way.
It's very limited thinking, you know. So I loved what you said.
Well, you know, I'm aChristian, but I'm open to all aspects
of spirituality. I think that's justhuge. Yeah, thank you, Karen,
(48:38):
and thank you so much for whatyou're doing, you know, for
having me on. I'm so appreciativeand thank you so much. And I'm
enjoying your book. That's the wrongway to say it. I think I'm
finding your book to be powerful,and once I'm finished, I will be
writing a review and I wish youlots of success with that. Thank you
(49:00):
so much. I appreciate it.Okay, thank you again, Thank you,
Thank you for listening in today.Please join us next week, same
day and time. Also, Iwould love for you to check out my
website heel thrivedream dot com.
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My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
My Favorite Murder is a true crime comedy podcast hosted by Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark. Each week, Karen and Georgia share compelling true crimes and hometown stories from friends and listeners. Since MFM launched in January of 2016, Karen and Georgia have shared their lifelong interest in true crime and have covered stories of infamous serial killers like the Night Stalker, mysterious cold cases, captivating cults, incredible survivor stories and important events from history like the Tulsa race massacre of 1921. My Favorite Murder is part of the Exactly Right podcast network that provides a platform for bold, creative voices to bring to life provocative, entertaining and relatable stories for audiences everywhere. The Exactly Right roster of podcasts covers a variety of topics including historic true crime, comedic interviews and news, science, pop culture and more. Podcasts on the network include Buried Bones with Kate Winkler Dawson and Paul Holes, That's Messed Up: An SVU Podcast, This Podcast Will Kill You, Bananas and more.