November 5, 2024 • 27 mins
Dora Spectacular is a fashionista and personality who was born in Pittsburgh and raised in Dallas.
Dora dreams, eats, sleeps, lives and breathes fashion, and loves to wear it, too. At a young age, Dora realized that she wasn't cut out to be a scientist like her parents who sent people to other planets. She was already living on another 'planet'.
Growing up, Dora's Dad showed favoritism towards her two brothers which left her feeling belittled. She became a recluse, hiding behind the walls she created, not realizing at this time that many other people around the world were in a similar discouraging predicament.
Dora began her serious focus on a journey of self-discovery living abroad in Paris, France. Her passion for "zany" people and fashion came together while interviewing celebrities and fashion icons at New York Fashion Week and the Paris Haute Couture. Dora loved that people informed her how much they enjoyed the interactions; some had even giggled away their feelings of depression.
With the help of brilliant ministry and counselling, Dora understood the challenges others face, and she discovered it takes conscious effort to stop the sneaky cloud of negativity spreading its shadow upon one's spirit! She learned to see beyond her dad's flaws and love him unconditionally.
Thanks to the freedom that Dora found through UP shifting and some serious healing, quirkiness is now her natural state of being she's a rather fashionable nerd!
Dora Spectacular is a comedic personality, fashion maven, and Motivational Personality all rolled in to one.
Connect with me:
Gmail: healthrivedream@gmail.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/healthrivedream_
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/healthrivedream
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@traumarecoveryexpert
Twitter: https://twitter.com/healthrivedream
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/karenrobinson2022/
Website: https://www.healthrivedream.com/
Podcast: http://healthrivedreampodcast.com/abuse
Loved this episode? Leave us a comment below.
Dora dreams, eats, sleeps, lives and breathes fashion, and loves to wear it, too. At a young age, Dora realized that she wasn't cut out to be a scientist like her parents who sent people to other planets. She was already living on another 'planet'.
Growing up, Dora's Dad showed favoritism towards her two brothers which left her feeling belittled. She became a recluse, hiding behind the walls she created, not realizing at this time that many other people around the world were in a similar discouraging predicament.
Dora began her serious focus on a journey of self-discovery living abroad in Paris, France. Her passion for "zany" people and fashion came together while interviewing celebrities and fashion icons at New York Fashion Week and the Paris Haute Couture. Dora loved that people informed her how much they enjoyed the interactions; some had even giggled away their feelings of depression.
With the help of brilliant ministry and counselling, Dora understood the challenges others face, and she discovered it takes conscious effort to stop the sneaky cloud of negativity spreading its shadow upon one's spirit! She learned to see beyond her dad's flaws and love him unconditionally.
Thanks to the freedom that Dora found through UP shifting and some serious healing, quirkiness is now her natural state of being she's a rather fashionable nerd!
Dora Spectacular is a comedic personality, fashion maven, and Motivational Personality all rolled in to one.
Connect with me:
Gmail: healthrivedream@gmail.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/healthrivedream_
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/healthrivedream
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@traumarecoveryexpert
Twitter: https://twitter.com/healthrivedream
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/karenrobinson2022/
Website: https://www.healthrivedream.com/
Podcast: http://healthrivedreampodcast.com/abuse
Loved this episode? Leave us a comment below.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome to the Heel Thrived Dream Podcast, where trauma survivors
become healthy thrivers. Each month will feature a theme in
the trauma recovery and empowerment field to promote your recovery,
healing and learning how to build dreams. Here's your host,
Karen Robinson, transformational coach and therapist.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Hi, everyone, Welcome back to the Heel Drive Dream Podcast.
Today our gas is Dora. Dora Spectacular is a fashion
esca and personality who was born in Pittsburgh and raised
in Dallas. Dora dreams, eats, sleeps, lives in Bruce fashion,
(00:51):
and loves to wear it. At a young age, Dora
realized she wasn't cut out to be the scientist like
her parents who set people to other planets. She was
already living on another planet. Growing up, Dora's that showed
favoritism toward her two brothers, which left her feeling a
little She became a recluse, riding behind the walls that
(01:15):
he created, not realizing at this time that many other
people around the world were in a similar discouraging predictment.
So I'm going to stop there. I know your bio
is a lot longer, but I don't want to be
the one talking the whole time during the show. So
(01:35):
welcome to the show.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Thank you so much. I'm thrilled, of course to be here.
And you're beautiful and hello, beautiful audience. You're spectacular too.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
That's so sweet. What in the bio did I not
hit upon that? You think it's really important for people
to know.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
I think what really has motivated me to go into
wellness and bring comedy to it is that my journey
has been very painful, but I've gotten a lot of
healing and through well I had to find my heavenly
source of course first, but there's so many oh, how
(02:23):
do I say, facets of healing. You know, we peel
and cry, We some of us have to work harder
than others. But it's really worth the journey. And when
you go after healing, you actually become better. You can
(02:43):
become a better version of yourself. It's kind of like
most of us were born with issues. We're not born
all you know, great and everything and things that have
and sometimes bring out our problems or make them worse.
And we can look at obstacles and difficult occurrences as
(03:05):
hard as they are to get over it, over as
opportunities to become the person that we're meant to be.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
That's right.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
I used to interview at events. I interviewed at fashion events.
I was a zany character with classes and class excuse me,
excuse me, and it was thank you. It was so fun.
There's been this zany part of me that came out
after I got healing, and I've toned it down now
(03:38):
for other projects, but that quirkiness is a big part
of me and I love it. And making people laugh
and having fun is it's the best And laughter, they
say is the best medicine.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
I agree with that a lot. Yeah, we get into
laughter and your healing journey. Is there any piece and
you can see now about the pain that you went
through that you will move to share with the audience
because they'll identify with you more. Is there something that
you're to share?
Speaker 3 (04:18):
Yes. We put out a little clip on Instagram a
couple of days ago. We put it out on Thursday,
and I had done a talk at a summit. It
was a very it's just a very small piece and
it was a very casual summit, and I talked about
(04:39):
a moment where I saw my family take a walk
without me. I was just a toddler, and it really affects.
It affected me for my life. I mean now I'm
gotten healing. But so when I this is just an
example something that could happen. When I saw them walk off,
(05:01):
I told myself, and that's the key. I told myself
that something was wrong with me, and I told myself
that I was an outcast. So the rest it was.
I was traumatized and I was telling myself these things.
And we're hit when we're in a difficult situation, and
what you tell yourself is what sticks with you. It's
(05:23):
been proven in neuroplasticity. Doctor Amen of the aim In
Clinics has done that research. So I had to recognize that.
And you know, forgive my parents were all other things
that happened to They were Asian. They only knew they
knew rice cookers, math equations, and they didn't have doctor Laura,
(05:48):
they didn't have child psychology videos, they didn't have fun
So it's it's kind of like I grew up in
a very strict Asian household.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
No.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
I did a little funny piece. It's on another video,
But can I show you what my father was like? Okay,
this is my dad? Why have you not eaten egg? Five? Wise?
Watched your brother and done composed a molecular equation? Okay?
(06:22):
And I'd be like, Dad, I'm like, you know, do
something fun and he'd be like, no, you have to
you know, composed equation or you must so and so
it was. It led to me having a lot of problems.
And you know my parents. Of course, we know that
our parents, they just do their best, but it's not
(06:43):
always what we think or what would be considered, you know,
great parenting. And it left me with a lot of
problems and I was very angry and it took some
time to unwrap that, and my life had to kind
of fall apart first. But out of that came freedom
and purpose. And I've been going through a rough journey
(07:07):
just this last month. But you know, once you start
going through roughness and you get out of it, the
next time, it's still going to hit you hard, but
it's going to be a little easier to get out
of if you recognize you.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
Can get through it.
Speaker 3 (07:22):
Yeah, yeah, fight, but you recognize the traps that you
can fall into, you know, the doubt, the depression, all
that stuff. You recognize that, and you know, to get
the other way hopefully. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
So with having the childhood that you had, did you
feel like you had to reparent yourself? Did you have
to do some inner child healing? And if so, what
did that look like?
Speaker 3 (07:51):
That involved some counseling, some of my own introspection in
some ministry, and I kind of found that there would
be people that came into my life that would trigger
like what my parents did. You know, we get triggered
a lot. You know, when your buttons get pushed, it's
(08:13):
because it triggers something in you. And for example, I
remember I was working with someone. We were on a
project and she was Asian and she caused the project
to go down, and I realized that there are a
lot that I had kind of reaped a person who
(08:35):
represented in some ways, but she hit it. You know,
the things that I didn't like about my parents there were,
you know, and so I had to forgive my parents
and then recognize what did I believe about myself that
was wrong because of what happened with my parents. Does
that make sense? It's not just forgiving, but you have
(08:57):
to go back and change those lies that you believe
in yourself. And we make those lies like that. So
that's the project that we're working on now, we've had
a project in Los Angeles. There's going to be some shuffling,
but we deal. It's comedy, but it's also the fact
that we're dealing with these initial reactions that we as
(09:19):
children make, and back to the inner child, Yes, you
have to kind of go back and look at your
inner child. But I do want to say that I
have a friend who's older than I am, and she's
gone through a lot of change and she is doing
so well. We talked about it, and it's the older
(09:40):
she gets now, the more like a child she becomes.
She's so much fun now, and she didn't needs to
be that way. But it's like, when you get in
touch and get that healing, your inner child comes out.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
Yes, and how has your inner child come out? How
is that impacting your work?
Speaker 3 (10:05):
I well, for the years that I spent interviewing, it
enabled me to just be a kook because I kind
of I interviewed at New York Fashion Week about four
or five times, and then I did the Paris Okutur
and I mean, I look back, there's certain things that
that happened that I thought, oh my gosh, I could
(10:26):
have done this like at one Paris show, I had
to walk the runway to go to the restaurant. You know,
it was a very elite Paris Oku tour show. I
had to walk the runway to go to the bathroom.
And I'm like, oh, I could have done all these
fun things going down there, you know, but I still
had fun. And I and people we did funny things.
(10:46):
We did funny you know, we made jokes. There was
one great thing I did this in New York where
I would I figured out pretty quickly that celebrity he's
felt awkward when I put them in front of the
camera and I said, or I said, I was in
(11:07):
front of the camera. I said, join me, and we're
going to clap for you. And I noticed that they
just felt awkward. So I made them come in. I
made them stand and I ran in and they would
clap for me. Yeah. Yeah, and they got it. Like
I'll never forget some of them, the looks they had
(11:29):
in their face because they knew that they was they
knew that they wrote the celebrity and I was just
you know, trying to get some air done with them
or whatever. And it was just so much fun, Like
you know, it's it's a little absurd. Like absurd comedy
is the best. And I have studied improv and that's
one thing I have to tell you. That improvisational comedy.
(11:49):
It's like what you said, see on Sorday Night Live,
that kind of comedy. Well, I have worked with the people,
actually worked with a guy that's on Saturday Night LIVEE.
He's he's a writer, he'll be on it. He's an
amazing actor too. And I work with some of these
people that here in Dallas at four Day Weekend and
then in La at the Groundlings. They're just there's just
(12:12):
a whole nother avenue to go. And improvisational humor has
been very healing. It teaches you to just have, like
you said, faith in yourself because you learn to react
according to what you have and you're not trying to
be funny, but when it ends up being funny, it's great.
(12:33):
And there are certain tools, there are certain you know
type things that you do. Let me try something with you.
I'm not going to promise anything great, but give me
a sentence about yourself.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
I love sushiet and could eat it every meal.
Speaker 4 (12:53):
Okay, so to second, I also love books and I
love traveling.
Speaker 3 (13:04):
Okay, all right, okay, so I okay, hold on, I
let's just let me just try this. Okay, hold on,
just give me another minute because I'm trying to build something.
Just a second, okay. So, whereas most people would rather
(13:30):
go off to the Islands to get a tan, Karen's
ideal trip would be eating sushi and traveling through Japan.
Huh okay, thank you, okay, thank you. Give me a
little bit more time, and I could have come up
with something else. But you know, I'm relatively whatever. But
(13:52):
what's so great is that there's a musical comedy where
I could have made a song about it, you know,
you know, the course would have been Karen in Japan,
and then we would have found about you eating sushi
and reading Japanese and everything. So you see how it goes.
It's fun, isn't it.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
Oh, it's so fun. It's so fun. Like, we have
a friend Ellen, who does some improv classes, so I've
joined in a couple of her virtual and it's just
so fun. Oh.
Speaker 3 (14:22):
That is awesome is that in Alexandria.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
Just virtually she lives in New Jersey.
Speaker 3 (14:28):
Okay, okay, wow, well she's close to New York. Well,
and then I know they have some great improv up there.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Yes, yes, yeah, she's done improv and stage.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
Ye yes, oh that isn't that isn't she a fun person?
Speaker 2 (14:44):
Oh would be so great? Yeah before pardon, you've been
on this podcast too before?
Speaker 3 (14:53):
Oh wow, oh my gosh, we should all come on sometimes.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
That would be fun. Be careful what you wish? Okay,
oh yeah, Now I think improv is fun. I think
how you do fashion being quirky, that's so fun. It's like,
you know, like after you've gone through challenges, it's really
important to look at like, Okay, what could I do
(15:20):
to make my life a little brighter, a little more hopeful?
And also like your work probably inspires a lot of
other people, especially you know, younger people. Would you say
that's true.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
I would say that my target market, the people that
follow me have always been younger than I am. I'm
older than well, I'm older than forty five, and most
of the people that follow me are twenty five to
forty five. And when I started blogging fashion ten years ago,
it was twenty five to thirty five. But now they've
(15:55):
you know, kind of grown up a little bit. Yeah,
I think it's just the cookiness and cold when you
want to talk about fashion for a minute, because that's
something that women. We all love fashion. It's a pretty
well known fact that when times get rough, men go like,
let's just say fishing, and women go fishing for something
to wear. It's you know, it can be a challenge
(16:17):
for your credit cards. But I love making things over,
and I would say that I've spent a great deal
of my life at the alterations place. I always find
someone great, and I've gone through a couple of people
they've retired or just you know, moved on or other
(16:42):
things place closed, And it's so fun to make over
an outfit. So it's great to like shop your closet
and go through and you can take a dress and
you can like maybe take the sleeves off and make
an extra hem, or you could take the hem off
(17:03):
and make sleeves. There's so many that you can add, trim,
you can make the dress polish, especially if it's a
beautiful piece. So I strongly, strongly believe that most women
want to look beautiful, and there is something about how
fashion can bring out a part of you that you
(17:25):
didn't know you had. I do want to say that
I love a few designers, and when I started interviewing,
I kind of stucked up on their stuff. I got
it on resale. I got it on sale, and I
just had it altered to fit me a couple of
brands like Samona Rocha, and wearing it back then made
me feel really special. And now I don't have to
(17:46):
wear it to feel special. Became of it, you know,
it became a part of.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
My fashion self that you internalized. The feeling I internalized
it was external. Then you turned it internal with your.
Speaker 3 (18:00):
Yeah, yeah, and it became a part of you know,
of me. And moving forward, I may not wear all
those designer pieces anymore that I had from that designer.
I've kind of outgrown some of them, but I still
can integrate that whole look or some of the pieces
just to bring back a little bit. But I don't
need that whole thing anymore. And then she actually did
(18:23):
a collaboration with H and M about two or three
years ago, and a lot of her stuff became very mainstream,
but it was very special before that. You know, not
a lot of people knew about her before she did
that H and M. But she's a very accomplished designer
in London, she's you know, won many awards and her
(18:43):
stuff gets a lot of attention now, but back then
it was like, ah, there's this like she makes me
feel like so like I think it just made me
feel it was it was kind of bad girl, good girl,
sweet girl, that kind of a whole thing. A little
bit of grunge, but a lot of like flounce and
tool and she's just she's really good. Yeah, but fashion
(19:09):
is something that good.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
I was gonna say, I think you're the first person
that has said to me. You know, I've been a
trauma therapist for twenty five years. You're the first person
that's mentioned fashion is healing.
Speaker 3 (19:24):
I would say it is, and yes, it can be
very healing, because you know that old saying when you
look good, you feel good, and it's really true. How
just spending a little bit of time to find out
what works for you. I don't I'm a big proponent
(19:45):
of shopping thrift and resale. Just be sure what you
walk home with is clean. You know, you never know now,
So I would I usually dunk stuff in like a
disinfectant wash, I put it my washer right away, or
I take it to the rye cleaners, which I don't
like to do the dry cleaners so much. I go
to a green one. I pay more, but it's green,
(20:05):
and because dry cleaning can ruin your clothes very easily.
So it's like this jacket. I got this at forty
percent off on a resale site and it makes me
feel like it just I've worn it when I've needed
to feel confident, like I wore it to a thing
a couple of months ago this summer. I've warned it
(20:28):
just a few times, but when I put it on,
it makes me feel confident. And there was a wonderful
designer trying to think if he's still I don't know,
if he's passed it on him, so embarrassed. Albert Albaz
he designed for Lon Vaan many many years ago, We're
talking like decades ago, and he would talk about how
(20:51):
his clients would wear his dresses to divorce Kurt because
they knew they had to fight and they wanted to
look powerful. They want to feel powerful. Clothes can give
you something, they really can, And as Musha Pratte says,
it's like fashion is instant instant knowledge, Like it's instant,
(21:13):
like you can look at someone and you know if
I see someone and they're dressed a certain way, I
pick up certain things about them. I can. Yeah, but
I think that self, Like.
Speaker 2 (21:27):
What would you say to someone who's listening and maybe
they're kind of struggling with depression, they left a situation
where there was domestic violence, or they had a recent
sexual assault, what would you say to them about what
to do with their fashion that might help them feel
just a little bit better. Like, obviously it's not gonna
(21:49):
make everything go away, but what would it be helps
them feel a little bit better?
Speaker 3 (21:56):
I think for them to recognize that taking care of them,
that they could put themselves first, not first over a child,
you know, or or like that. I'm not talking about that,
but I'm talking about looking at themselves and recognizing that
they're worthy of spending time on themselves and that, you know,
(22:21):
if they liked to shop, they could go to the
local resale store or go online and go to the
thirst store and maybe find a few pieces that makes
them feel good about themselves.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
It's okay to do that for themselves.
Speaker 3 (22:37):
Oh my gosh, Yes, it's so important, Like you know,
a touch, like I know that there are a lot
of women that really overdo in the makeup and then
I know people that don't. And I had to in
somebody a couple of weeks ago at a business meeting,
and she does it ever wear makeup. So when she
shut up, I brought a new lipstick and I said,
(22:59):
hold on, and I put some color in her cheeks
and then gave her some loops. She looks so much better.
She just looked more polished. Because I was going to
introduce her to someone to help do videos for them,
and I'm like, she can't, you know, I mean, you
want to present yourself and just that little touch, you know,
whether you touch up like I usually do my eyebrows,
(23:21):
I brush them and I add some brow mescara, and
you know, for you today, I put my lashes on
and but I don't usually, you know, do very much.
I usually just do my brows and that's enough and
I protect my skin. But you know, just those little
extra things can go a long way. And you know,
(23:42):
when you go to that place and when you're online,
I mean, don't be discouraged. You know, find stuff that
isn't expensive, Maybe play around, find out, you know, give
yourself a certain budget, get something maybe once a week,
once a month, whatever your budget is once every two
months and get a few pieces and things that you
(24:02):
can experiment with and say, hey, I'm going to wear
this when I go my meeting, you know, because it's
going to give me an extra baste and all those
little things really help. When you're a woman. We're just
made to care about that stuff. We're made to want
to feel beautiful.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
You know.
Speaker 3 (24:19):
It's even in the Bible about the wise woman making
fine cloth for her clothes. Now, a little bit of fashion, guys,
a long way, yes, treat yourself a little bit. Be
good to yourself.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
No, yeah, So what is what is it that you're
working on right now that people that feel inspired by
listening to you? What is it that they can look
forward to? Are you able to give us anything or
is it so.
Speaker 3 (24:56):
Well it is? I do want to say we've had
a project in Los angele lists. We're going to have
to do some shuffling. But I would say that if
you want to follow me on Instagram at Dora Spectacular
in your spectacular too, but it's Dora Spectacular door like
Door Explore And we're probably maybe a little quiet for
(25:18):
a while, but we're going to be I always usually
post fashion pics and there should be two projects coming up,
and one of them is I Am We are writing
a one woman show right now that I'm going to
do that's going to talk and combine narrative and laughter
(25:40):
and wellness. Plus we have a show for TV which
is going to be more laughter focused but also wellness.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
Hey, well, you keep us updated so we can add
it to the show notes.
Speaker 3 (25:53):
Oh, definitely, definitely for you. Yes, I have so fun.
Thank you. I am positive Karen that I will have
some updates. Yes, yes, thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
Awesome. Yes, well, Zara, thank you so much for being
on our show today. You know, we often have like
therapists and coaches and hypnotists and pastors, so it's so
nice to have someone you know that's in a different
field altogether. You know, let meet it more fun and
and trauma impacts I believe all women and often Yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:32):
There there is no one that is immune from it.
It's it's a world that we live in, but it's
it just remember to you know, address those reactions that
you have to it. Recognize that you're getting some hard
messages when you're going through trauma. Your self talk is
going to be much more negative and you have to
(26:53):
really filter that because it really steps up at trauma. Yeah,
would you agree?
Speaker 2 (27:00):
Yeah? Thousand?
Speaker 3 (27:03):
Yeah, and get a new dress.
Speaker 4 (27:09):
And laugh.
Speaker 3 (27:10):
You know. Comedy show, Yeah, watch my comedy show. May
I tell you about my comedy show?
Speaker 2 (27:20):
Thank you all right, well, thank you so much Dore
for being on today. We really appreciate you.
Speaker 3 (27:26):
Thank you, and you're beautiful. Thank beautiful you, and thank
your beautiful audience. And y'all are spectacular. Don't forget okay,
you are spectacular.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
Thank you for listening in today. Please join us next week,
same day and time. Also, I would love for you
to check out my website, He'll thrive dream dot com
Welcome to the Heel Thrived Dream Podcast, where trauma survivors
become healthy thrivers. Each month will feature a theme in
the trauma recovery and empowerment field to promote your recovery,
healing and learning how to build dreams. Here's your host,
Karen Robinson, transformational coach and therapist.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Hi, everyone, Welcome back to the Heel Drive Dream Podcast.
Today our gas is Dora. Dora Spectacular is a fashion
esca and personality who was born in Pittsburgh and raised
in Dallas. Dora dreams, eats, sleeps, lives in Bruce fashion,
(00:51):
and loves to wear it. At a young age, Dora
realized she wasn't cut out to be the scientist like
her parents who set people to other planets. She was
already living on another planet. Growing up, Dora's that showed
favoritism toward her two brothers, which left her feeling a
little She became a recluse, riding behind the walls that
(01:15):
he created, not realizing at this time that many other
people around the world were in a similar discouraging predictment.
So I'm going to stop there. I know your bio
is a lot longer, but I don't want to be
the one talking the whole time during the show. So
(01:35):
welcome to the show.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Thank you so much. I'm thrilled, of course to be here.
And you're beautiful and hello, beautiful audience. You're spectacular too.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
That's so sweet. What in the bio did I not
hit upon that? You think it's really important for people
to know.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
I think what really has motivated me to go into
wellness and bring comedy to it is that my journey
has been very painful, but I've gotten a lot of
healing and through well I had to find my heavenly
source of course first, but there's so many oh, how
(02:23):
do I say, facets of healing. You know, we peel
and cry, We some of us have to work harder
than others. But it's really worth the journey. And when
you go after healing, you actually become better. You can
(02:43):
become a better version of yourself. It's kind of like
most of us were born with issues. We're not born
all you know, great and everything and things that have
and sometimes bring out our problems or make them worse.
And we can look at obstacles and difficult occurrences as
(03:05):
hard as they are to get over it, over as
opportunities to become the person that we're meant to be.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
That's right.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
I used to interview at events. I interviewed at fashion events.
I was a zany character with classes and class excuse me,
excuse me, and it was thank you. It was so fun.
There's been this zany part of me that came out
after I got healing, and I've toned it down now
(03:38):
for other projects, but that quirkiness is a big part
of me and I love it. And making people laugh
and having fun is it's the best And laughter, they
say is the best medicine.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
I agree with that a lot. Yeah, we get into
laughter and your healing journey. Is there any piece and
you can see now about the pain that you went
through that you will move to share with the audience
because they'll identify with you more. Is there something that
you're to share?
Speaker 3 (04:18):
Yes. We put out a little clip on Instagram a
couple of days ago. We put it out on Thursday,
and I had done a talk at a summit. It
was a very it's just a very small piece and
it was a very casual summit, and I talked about
(04:39):
a moment where I saw my family take a walk
without me. I was just a toddler, and it really affects.
It affected me for my life. I mean now I'm
gotten healing. But so when I this is just an
example something that could happen. When I saw them walk off,
(05:01):
I told myself, and that's the key. I told myself
that something was wrong with me, and I told myself
that I was an outcast. So the rest it was.
I was traumatized and I was telling myself these things.
And we're hit when we're in a difficult situation, and
what you tell yourself is what sticks with you. It's
(05:23):
been proven in neuroplasticity. Doctor Amen of the aim In
Clinics has done that research. So I had to recognize that.
And you know, forgive my parents were all other things
that happened to They were Asian. They only knew they
knew rice cookers, math equations, and they didn't have doctor Laura,
(05:48):
they didn't have child psychology videos, they didn't have fun
So it's it's kind of like I grew up in
a very strict Asian household.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
No.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
I did a little funny piece. It's on another video,
But can I show you what my father was like? Okay,
this is my dad? Why have you not eaten egg? Five? Wise?
Watched your brother and done composed a molecular equation? Okay?
(06:22):
And I'd be like, Dad, I'm like, you know, do
something fun and he'd be like, no, you have to
you know, composed equation or you must so and so
it was. It led to me having a lot of problems.
And you know my parents. Of course, we know that
our parents, they just do their best, but it's not
(06:43):
always what we think or what would be considered, you know,
great parenting. And it left me with a lot of
problems and I was very angry and it took some
time to unwrap that, and my life had to kind
of fall apart first. But out of that came freedom
and purpose. And I've been going through a rough journey
(07:07):
just this last month. But you know, once you start
going through roughness and you get out of it, the
next time, it's still going to hit you hard, but
it's going to be a little easier to get out
of if you recognize you.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
Can get through it.
Speaker 3 (07:22):
Yeah, yeah, fight, but you recognize the traps that you
can fall into, you know, the doubt, the depression, all
that stuff. You recognize that, and you know, to get
the other way hopefully. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
So with having the childhood that you had, did you
feel like you had to reparent yourself? Did you have
to do some inner child healing? And if so, what
did that look like?
Speaker 3 (07:51):
That involved some counseling, some of my own introspection in
some ministry, and I kind of found that there would
be people that came into my life that would trigger
like what my parents did. You know, we get triggered
a lot. You know, when your buttons get pushed, it's
(08:13):
because it triggers something in you. And for example, I
remember I was working with someone. We were on a
project and she was Asian and she caused the project
to go down, and I realized that there are a
lot that I had kind of reaped a person who
(08:35):
represented in some ways, but she hit it. You know,
the things that I didn't like about my parents there were,
you know, and so I had to forgive my parents
and then recognize what did I believe about myself that
was wrong because of what happened with my parents. Does
that make sense? It's not just forgiving, but you have
(08:57):
to go back and change those lies that you believe
in yourself. And we make those lies like that. So
that's the project that we're working on now, we've had
a project in Los Angeles. There's going to be some shuffling,
but we deal. It's comedy, but it's also the fact
that we're dealing with these initial reactions that we as
(09:19):
children make, and back to the inner child, Yes, you
have to kind of go back and look at your
inner child. But I do want to say that I
have a friend who's older than I am, and she's
gone through a lot of change and she is doing
so well. We talked about it, and it's the older
(09:40):
she gets now, the more like a child she becomes.
She's so much fun now, and she didn't needs to
be that way. But it's like, when you get in
touch and get that healing, your inner child comes out.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
Yes, and how has your inner child come out? How
is that impacting your work?
Speaker 3 (10:05):
I well, for the years that I spent interviewing, it
enabled me to just be a kook because I kind
of I interviewed at New York Fashion Week about four
or five times, and then I did the Paris Okutur
and I mean, I look back, there's certain things that
that happened that I thought, oh my gosh, I could
(10:26):
have done this like at one Paris show, I had
to walk the runway to go to the restaurant. You know,
it was a very elite Paris Oku tour show. I
had to walk the runway to go to the bathroom.
And I'm like, oh, I could have done all these
fun things going down there, you know, but I still
had fun. And I and people we did funny things.
(10:46):
We did funny you know, we made jokes. There was
one great thing I did this in New York where
I would I figured out pretty quickly that celebrity he's
felt awkward when I put them in front of the
camera and I said, or I said, I was in
(11:07):
front of the camera. I said, join me, and we're
going to clap for you. And I noticed that they
just felt awkward. So I made them come in. I
made them stand and I ran in and they would
clap for me. Yeah. Yeah, and they got it. Like
I'll never forget some of them, the looks they had
(11:29):
in their face because they knew that they was they
knew that they wrote the celebrity and I was just
you know, trying to get some air done with them
or whatever. And it was just so much fun, Like
you know, it's it's a little absurd. Like absurd comedy
is the best. And I have studied improv and that's
one thing I have to tell you. That improvisational comedy.
(11:49):
It's like what you said, see on Sorday Night Live,
that kind of comedy. Well, I have worked with the people,
actually worked with a guy that's on Saturday Night LIVEE.
He's he's a writer, he'll be on it. He's an
amazing actor too. And I work with some of these
people that here in Dallas at four Day Weekend and
then in La at the Groundlings. They're just there's just
(12:12):
a whole nother avenue to go. And improvisational humor has
been very healing. It teaches you to just have, like
you said, faith in yourself because you learn to react
according to what you have and you're not trying to
be funny, but when it ends up being funny, it's great.
(12:33):
And there are certain tools, there are certain you know
type things that you do. Let me try something with you.
I'm not going to promise anything great, but give me
a sentence about yourself.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
I love sushiet and could eat it every meal.
Speaker 4 (12:53):
Okay, so to second, I also love books and I
love traveling.
Speaker 3 (13:04):
Okay, all right, okay, so I okay, hold on, I
let's just let me just try this. Okay, hold on,
just give me another minute because I'm trying to build something.
Just a second, okay. So, whereas most people would rather
(13:30):
go off to the Islands to get a tan, Karen's
ideal trip would be eating sushi and traveling through Japan.
Huh okay, thank you, okay, thank you. Give me a
little bit more time, and I could have come up
with something else. But you know, I'm relatively whatever. But
(13:52):
what's so great is that there's a musical comedy where
I could have made a song about it, you know,
you know, the course would have been Karen in Japan,
and then we would have found about you eating sushi
and reading Japanese and everything. So you see how it goes.
It's fun, isn't it.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
Oh, it's so fun. It's so fun. Like, we have
a friend Ellen, who does some improv classes, so I've
joined in a couple of her virtual and it's just
so fun. Oh.
Speaker 3 (14:22):
That is awesome is that in Alexandria.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
Just virtually she lives in New Jersey.
Speaker 3 (14:28):
Okay, okay, wow, well she's close to New York. Well,
and then I know they have some great improv up there.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Yes, yes, yeah, she's done improv and stage.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
Ye yes, oh that isn't that isn't she a fun person?
Speaker 2 (14:44):
Oh would be so great? Yeah before pardon, you've been
on this podcast too before?
Speaker 3 (14:53):
Oh wow, oh my gosh, we should all come on sometimes.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
That would be fun. Be careful what you wish? Okay,
oh yeah, Now I think improv is fun. I think
how you do fashion being quirky, that's so fun. It's like,
you know, like after you've gone through challenges, it's really
important to look at like, Okay, what could I do
(15:20):
to make my life a little brighter, a little more hopeful?
And also like your work probably inspires a lot of
other people, especially you know, younger people. Would you say
that's true.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
I would say that my target market, the people that
follow me have always been younger than I am. I'm
older than well, I'm older than forty five, and most
of the people that follow me are twenty five to
forty five. And when I started blogging fashion ten years ago,
it was twenty five to thirty five. But now they've
(15:55):
you know, kind of grown up a little bit. Yeah,
I think it's just the cookiness and cold when you
want to talk about fashion for a minute, because that's
something that women. We all love fashion. It's a pretty
well known fact that when times get rough, men go like,
let's just say fishing, and women go fishing for something
to wear. It's you know, it can be a challenge
(16:17):
for your credit cards. But I love making things over,
and I would say that I've spent a great deal
of my life at the alterations place. I always find
someone great, and I've gone through a couple of people
they've retired or just you know, moved on or other
(16:42):
things place closed, And it's so fun to make over
an outfit. So it's great to like shop your closet
and go through and you can take a dress and
you can like maybe take the sleeves off and make
an extra hem, or you could take the hem off
(17:03):
and make sleeves. There's so many that you can add, trim,
you can make the dress polish, especially if it's a
beautiful piece. So I strongly, strongly believe that most women
want to look beautiful, and there is something about how
fashion can bring out a part of you that you
(17:25):
didn't know you had. I do want to say that
I love a few designers, and when I started interviewing,
I kind of stucked up on their stuff. I got
it on resale. I got it on sale, and I
just had it altered to fit me a couple of
brands like Samona Rocha, and wearing it back then made
me feel really special. And now I don't have to
(17:46):
wear it to feel special. Became of it, you know,
it became a part of.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
My fashion self that you internalized. The feeling I internalized
it was external. Then you turned it internal with your.
Speaker 3 (18:00):
Yeah, yeah, and it became a part of you know,
of me. And moving forward, I may not wear all
those designer pieces anymore that I had from that designer.
I've kind of outgrown some of them, but I still
can integrate that whole look or some of the pieces
just to bring back a little bit. But I don't
need that whole thing anymore. And then she actually did
(18:23):
a collaboration with H and M about two or three
years ago, and a lot of her stuff became very mainstream,
but it was very special before that. You know, not
a lot of people knew about her before she did
that H and M. But she's a very accomplished designer
in London, she's you know, won many awards and her
(18:43):
stuff gets a lot of attention now, but back then
it was like, ah, there's this like she makes me
feel like so like I think it just made me
feel it was it was kind of bad girl, good girl,
sweet girl, that kind of a whole thing. A little
bit of grunge, but a lot of like flounce and
tool and she's just she's really good. Yeah, but fashion
(19:09):
is something that good.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
I was gonna say, I think you're the first person
that has said to me. You know, I've been a
trauma therapist for twenty five years. You're the first person
that's mentioned fashion is healing.
Speaker 3 (19:24):
I would say it is, and yes, it can be
very healing, because you know that old saying when you
look good, you feel good, and it's really true. How
just spending a little bit of time to find out
what works for you. I don't I'm a big proponent
(19:45):
of shopping thrift and resale. Just be sure what you
walk home with is clean. You know, you never know now,
So I would I usually dunk stuff in like a
disinfectant wash, I put it my washer right away, or
I take it to the rye cleaners, which I don't
like to do the dry cleaners so much. I go
to a green one. I pay more, but it's green,
(20:05):
and because dry cleaning can ruin your clothes very easily.
So it's like this jacket. I got this at forty
percent off on a resale site and it makes me
feel like it just I've worn it when I've needed
to feel confident, like I wore it to a thing
a couple of months ago this summer. I've warned it
(20:28):
just a few times, but when I put it on,
it makes me feel confident. And there was a wonderful
designer trying to think if he's still I don't know,
if he's passed it on him, so embarrassed. Albert Albaz
he designed for Lon Vaan many many years ago, We're
talking like decades ago, and he would talk about how
(20:51):
his clients would wear his dresses to divorce Kurt because
they knew they had to fight and they wanted to
look powerful. They want to feel powerful. Clothes can give
you something, they really can, And as Musha Pratte says,
it's like fashion is instant instant knowledge, Like it's instant,
(21:13):
like you can look at someone and you know if
I see someone and they're dressed a certain way, I
pick up certain things about them. I can. Yeah, but
I think that self, Like.
Speaker 2 (21:27):
What would you say to someone who's listening and maybe
they're kind of struggling with depression, they left a situation
where there was domestic violence, or they had a recent
sexual assault, what would you say to them about what
to do with their fashion that might help them feel
just a little bit better. Like, obviously it's not gonna
(21:49):
make everything go away, but what would it be helps
them feel a little bit better?
Speaker 3 (21:56):
I think for them to recognize that taking care of them,
that they could put themselves first, not first over a child,
you know, or or like that. I'm not talking about that,
but I'm talking about looking at themselves and recognizing that
they're worthy of spending time on themselves and that, you know,
(22:21):
if they liked to shop, they could go to the
local resale store or go online and go to the
thirst store and maybe find a few pieces that makes
them feel good about themselves.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
It's okay to do that for themselves.
Speaker 3 (22:37):
Oh my gosh, Yes, it's so important, Like you know,
a touch, like I know that there are a lot
of women that really overdo in the makeup and then
I know people that don't. And I had to in
somebody a couple of weeks ago at a business meeting,
and she does it ever wear makeup. So when she
shut up, I brought a new lipstick and I said,
(22:59):
hold on, and I put some color in her cheeks
and then gave her some loops. She looks so much better.
She just looked more polished. Because I was going to
introduce her to someone to help do videos for them,
and I'm like, she can't, you know, I mean, you
want to present yourself and just that little touch, you know,
whether you touch up like I usually do my eyebrows,
(23:21):
I brush them and I add some brow mescara, and
you know, for you today, I put my lashes on
and but I don't usually, you know, do very much.
I usually just do my brows and that's enough and
I protect my skin. But you know, just those little
extra things can go a long way. And you know,
(23:42):
when you go to that place and when you're online,
I mean, don't be discouraged. You know, find stuff that
isn't expensive, Maybe play around, find out, you know, give
yourself a certain budget, get something maybe once a week,
once a month, whatever your budget is once every two
months and get a few pieces and things that you
(24:02):
can experiment with and say, hey, I'm going to wear
this when I go my meeting, you know, because it's
going to give me an extra baste and all those
little things really help. When you're a woman. We're just
made to care about that stuff. We're made to want
to feel beautiful.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
You know.
Speaker 3 (24:19):
It's even in the Bible about the wise woman making
fine cloth for her clothes. Now, a little bit of fashion, guys,
a long way, yes, treat yourself a little bit. Be
good to yourself.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
No, yeah, So what is what is it that you're
working on right now that people that feel inspired by
listening to you? What is it that they can look
forward to? Are you able to give us anything or
is it so.
Speaker 3 (24:56):
Well it is? I do want to say we've had
a project in Los angele lists. We're going to have
to do some shuffling. But I would say that if
you want to follow me on Instagram at Dora Spectacular
in your spectacular too, but it's Dora Spectacular door like
Door Explore And we're probably maybe a little quiet for
(25:18):
a while, but we're going to be I always usually
post fashion pics and there should be two projects coming up,
and one of them is I Am We are writing
a one woman show right now that I'm going to
do that's going to talk and combine narrative and laughter
(25:40):
and wellness. Plus we have a show for TV which
is going to be more laughter focused but also wellness.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
Hey, well, you keep us updated so we can add
it to the show notes.
Speaker 3 (25:53):
Oh, definitely, definitely for you. Yes, I have so fun.
Thank you. I am positive Karen that I will have
some updates. Yes, yes, thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
Awesome. Yes, well, Zara, thank you so much for being
on our show today. You know, we often have like
therapists and coaches and hypnotists and pastors, so it's so
nice to have someone you know that's in a different
field altogether. You know, let meet it more fun and
and trauma impacts I believe all women and often Yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:32):
There there is no one that is immune from it.
It's it's a world that we live in, but it's
it just remember to you know, address those reactions that
you have to it. Recognize that you're getting some hard
messages when you're going through trauma. Your self talk is
going to be much more negative and you have to
(26:53):
really filter that because it really steps up at trauma. Yeah,
would you agree?
Speaker 2 (27:00):
Yeah? Thousand?
Speaker 3 (27:03):
Yeah, and get a new dress.
Speaker 4 (27:09):
And laugh.
Speaker 3 (27:10):
You know. Comedy show, Yeah, watch my comedy show. May
I tell you about my comedy show?
Speaker 2 (27:20):
Thank you all right, well, thank you so much Dore
for being on today. We really appreciate you.
Speaker 3 (27:26):
Thank you, and you're beautiful. Thank beautiful you, and thank
your beautiful audience. And y'all are spectacular. Don't forget okay,
you are spectacular.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
Thank you for listening in today. Please join us next week,
same day and time. Also, I would love for you
to check out my website, He'll thrive dream dot com
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