May 24, 2025 • 17 mins
Laura Lorenz is a speaker of Finding Revitalization After the Physical Effects of Trauma Summit Talk Title: The Chicken or the Egg?
Join us: https://www.healthrivedream.com/Finding-Revitalization
Laura Lorenz is a dedicated and compassionate professional with a background in Residential Architecture, holding a B.A. in Architecture from the University of Illinois at Chicago and over 17 years of industry experience. In addition to her architectural work, Laura has spent more than a decade tutoring students of all ages and abilities, where she discovered a deeper calling: helping those who struggle not just academically, but emotionally.
Through her work with students, Laura noticed that anxiety, low self-esteem, and unresolved trauma were often at the root of academic challenges. While she is not a licensed therapist, Laura brings powerful lived experience to her work. Having navigated her own learning disabilities and survived multiple life traumas, she offers deep empathy, patience, and insight to those facing similar struggles.
Laura is now a proud Survivor and Thriver, using her journey to inspire others. She is a multi-passionate entrepreneur and business owner, with ventures in photography, investing, art, writing, tutoring, and life coaching. Her personal transformation was accelerated through the powerful teachings of Tony Robbins. Over a three-year period, she completed “Unleash the Power Within,” the “Ultimate Mastery Program,” and “Leadership Mastery,” graduating from the Leadership Mastery program in December 2024.
Inspired by the impact of her own Tony Robbins coaches, Laura became a life coach herself. She is passionate about helping others uncover their inner strength, find joy, and build confidence by overcoming fear and self-doubt. With a heart for service and a story of resilience, Laura is committed to guiding others on their paths to healing, growth, and purpose.
Photography website: https://www.ljlorenzphotoart.com/
Connect with Laura:
https://www.instagram.com/ljlorenzphotoart/
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61550735014551
Join our supportive group community:
https://healingfromtraumatogether.com/
www.facebook.com/groups/healthrivedream
Connect with me:
Gmail: healthrivedream@gmail.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/healthrivedream_
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/healthrivedream
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@traumarecoveryexpert
Twitter: https://twitter.com/healthrivedream
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/karenrobinson2022/
Website: https://www.healthrivedream.com/
Podcast: http://healthrivedreampodcast.com/abuse
Loved this episode? Leave us a comment below.
Join us: https://www.healthrivedream.com/Finding-Revitalization
Laura Lorenz is a dedicated and compassionate professional with a background in Residential Architecture, holding a B.A. in Architecture from the University of Illinois at Chicago and over 17 years of industry experience. In addition to her architectural work, Laura has spent more than a decade tutoring students of all ages and abilities, where she discovered a deeper calling: helping those who struggle not just academically, but emotionally.
Through her work with students, Laura noticed that anxiety, low self-esteem, and unresolved trauma were often at the root of academic challenges. While she is not a licensed therapist, Laura brings powerful lived experience to her work. Having navigated her own learning disabilities and survived multiple life traumas, she offers deep empathy, patience, and insight to those facing similar struggles.
Laura is now a proud Survivor and Thriver, using her journey to inspire others. She is a multi-passionate entrepreneur and business owner, with ventures in photography, investing, art, writing, tutoring, and life coaching. Her personal transformation was accelerated through the powerful teachings of Tony Robbins. Over a three-year period, she completed “Unleash the Power Within,” the “Ultimate Mastery Program,” and “Leadership Mastery,” graduating from the Leadership Mastery program in December 2024.
Inspired by the impact of her own Tony Robbins coaches, Laura became a life coach herself. She is passionate about helping others uncover their inner strength, find joy, and build confidence by overcoming fear and self-doubt. With a heart for service and a story of resilience, Laura is committed to guiding others on their paths to healing, growth, and purpose.
Photography website: https://www.ljlorenzphotoart.com/
Connect with Laura:
https://www.instagram.com/ljlorenzphotoart/
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61550735014551
Join our supportive group community:
https://healingfromtraumatogether.com/
www.facebook.com/groups/healthrivedream
Connect with me:
Gmail: healthrivedream@gmail.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/healthrivedream_
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/healthrivedream
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@traumarecoveryexpert
Twitter: https://twitter.com/healthrivedream
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/karenrobinson2022/
Website: https://www.healthrivedream.com/
Podcast: http://healthrivedreampodcast.com/abuse
Loved this episode? Leave us a comment below.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome to the Heal Thrived Dream podcast, where trauma survivors
become healthy thrivers. Each month will feature a theme in
the trauma recovery and empowerment field to promote your recovery,
healing and learning how to build dreams. Here's your host,
Karen Robinson, transformational coach and therapist.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Hi, and welcome to the Heal Thrive Dream Podcast. Today,
my guest is Laura Lorenz who is also a speaker
at the upcoming summit Finding Revitalization after Trauma and it's
a summit about health after trauma.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Laura grew up with shyness, multiple traumas, and learning disabilities. However,
she was able to put herself through college debt free
and she earned a degree in architecture. Although she found
joy in her career, he found that she had even
more joy and she worked with students, so teenagers is
(01:02):
one of her passions, working with adult survivors is another.
So Laura has been in and out of the architectural
field and then and also had more trauma experience as
an adult. Long story short, Laura is an independent, resilient
survivor that very much wants to gear help others and
(01:25):
gear them towards a life of joy by helping them
find their gifts with them. Laura, I know I did
clunky job with your bio, and that's.
Speaker 4 (01:33):
Okay because no, that worked great.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
Because everybody that listens to my podcasts know that Butcher
people's name. Sometimes I word solid issues that kind of thing. So, Laura,
I know you've been a successful architect. I also know
that you've been a volunteer and also worked with students
tutoring and coaching. Tell us about what your passion is
your work passion right now, like what you're working towards.
(01:56):
I know it's coaching, but you want to say a
little more about that.
Speaker 5 (02:00):
So I had gone through a major trauma of kicking
out my boyfriend and his teenage time out of my
place back in twenty twenty one. So after that, like
I was, I'm safe and I'm okay and everything, but like,
I just want to help others that have gone through
similar issues to deal with their trauma because when I
after it was like the after fact that really the
(02:20):
trauma set in because I was thinking about it so much.
I kept on worrying about it and worrying about it
and worrying about it. I realized like I was in more.
I was feeling the fear more so after it, because
while I was going through it, I was like just
in survival mode and having to fake it to make it,
like trying to just get through it and before I
can kick them out. And yeah, I don't know how
much detail you want to go into, but I always
(02:42):
start talking too much detail, so stop me if I am.
But yeah, like I was originally going to kick him
out because of his drinking and his disrespect and flirting
with other girls in front of me, kissing other girls
in front of me. Who knows what else he's doing
because's out till six in the morning, drinking all night,
and I didn't know where he was.
Speaker 4 (02:58):
At first.
Speaker 5 (02:59):
I was just worried about him. He started this, and
I was texting him and calling him and he wasn't
answering me whatever. Anyway, So like I'd been trying to
kick him out for over two and a half years,
because it all started after my mom had passed away,
that he started disrespecting me and staying out all night.
My mom passed away March of twenty nineteen, and so anyways,
it was around Yeah, I guess it was around a
(03:19):
little after a little more than a year and a half,
I was trying to kick him out. Actually not two
and a half years, but it all came to a
crazyness of major a lot of crazier things happening. And
when I was talking to my therapists, like, she told
me he was a narcissist, and I started realizing that,
and there was just more and more crazy things that
kept happening. So then I started decided to get a lawyer,
(03:40):
decided to go back to work because I was working
from home during COVID, but I begged to come back
to work, so I worked from the office so I
could start talking to lawyers from my work and anyway,
so I actually the person who's in charge of human
resources where I worked, she was also a lawyer, and
so I talked to her one day and she helped
me figure.
Speaker 4 (03:54):
Out how to get a lawyer and wear different resources
and how I can get.
Speaker 5 (03:57):
One, and I talked to three different layers on the
phone and finally got one. And anyways, like during the time,
it was like only a month from the time I
got a lawyer, I started talking to one from when
I got actually kicked out, and things and things were
escalating really fast, Like he started buying more guns, which
he bought a gun back in March.
Speaker 4 (04:15):
And it's just it was a very I don't even
know how to explain it.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
A lot.
Speaker 5 (04:17):
It was a lot of stuff going on. Every weekend,
I was worried, like something else, what would happen, Like
while I was home and baby were doing stuff together.
I was having to pretend that I was still in
love with him. I had to pretend that nothing was
going to happen. But I realized he was able to
get He put WhatsApp on my phone, which in the
past WhatsApp was not a good thing because they would
people who would put it on your phone, I guess
were able to get somehow a recording on tech to
(04:40):
text of everything you said.
Speaker 4 (04:42):
So I knew.
Speaker 5 (04:42):
I figured out he knew I was saying what I
was saying to my lawyer. But yeah, he started buying
more guns, and I realized while during the time that
thirty like thirty days or less, whatever it was, I
realized he was plotting to kill me.
Speaker 4 (04:53):
So I was even more.
Speaker 5 (04:54):
Scared as like days for so the night before I
turned in the paperwork, I was praying to God that
I would live that night, and I always slept like
a couple hours of that and got up it before
in the morning and left the house by five and
got went to work to edit what I was turning
in to the judge, and met my lawyer down in
downtown Denver, and and I didn't see him every yeah,
until the cops came. I had to have they had
(05:15):
to come and help or be there while he moved
his stuff out.
Speaker 4 (05:18):
But yeah, I had no idea even how to get him.
Speaker 5 (05:20):
Out of my place before I talked a lawyer, because
I was like, it's COVID, there's laws in place.
Speaker 4 (05:25):
I don't know, Like I had no idea.
Speaker 5 (05:27):
So I'm very thankful for my therapists helped me guide me,
and also very thankful for the lawyers. I talked to
the person HR person my work, other people. I talked
to my friends like they were tired of hearing my story.
I had been talking to them a bunch when ever
since my mom died, about all the things he was
doing wrong and staying out all night and stuff and.
Speaker 4 (05:46):
Anyways, it was just a crazy time.
Speaker 5 (05:48):
I like started writing out like the details of all
things I happened the other daycause I'm trying to formulate
my speech for the summit, and I was just like,
I don't even I don't even like I remember it all,
but I'd like, I don't remember feeling anything during it.
And the feeling, like I said, the feelings started happening
after I was safe, and I was scared to death,
Like I was like locking the door all the time
at my dad's house, worried.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
Yeah, it honestly sounds very terrifying. I was stalked before,
so it's the only thing that I can that's happened
to me that I remember being scared like that. I
actually wrote about it in a book that just got
published this week. I wrote about my being stock story
and my ex boyfriend speeding up the card towards me.
(06:28):
It's a very it's very scary when you don't feel
safe for sure. So I know you had this a
lot of this fight or flight going on, like just
being scared out of your mind. At what point do
you think you had the thought of I deserve more
than this. I deserve to be with somebody healthy, I
deserve to be safe. At what point do you think
you got there?
Speaker 5 (06:50):
So there's a couple of answers for that, because like
when he started disrespecting me, I was like, I need
him out here.
Speaker 4 (06:56):
I did not want to deal with him. We talked
about it a few times.
Speaker 5 (06:59):
He would say he will change, that he's not gonna
drink anymore, and that would last week and then he
goes back to drinking.
Speaker 4 (07:05):
So I kept on.
Speaker 5 (07:05):
I knew I loved him, and that's why I kept
on allowing him to keep on saying that he was
gonna change and saying that he was going to stop drinking,
and believed in him that he was.
Speaker 4 (07:14):
But yeah, like.
Speaker 5 (07:16):
It came to the point where and I saw him
kissing another girl and I was like, forget it, this
is But at the same time, like I couldn't unlove him,
And so I talked to my friends about it, and
one of my friends gave me who was she's a
therapist for her schools in Denver, and she was she
gave me phone number of a certain therapist group or
whatever that I can talk to online because everything was
(07:36):
shut down during COVID, Like I had no idea, like
how do I even get it to talk.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
To about so isolated and alone in this Yeah, I.
Speaker 5 (07:43):
Was talking to her online on zoom in my car
on my laptop, like in my car in the parking
lot of where I lived. So yeah, it was freaky
because I was like, what if he comes home and
sees me, or what if he comes down here because
he was upstairs and I kind of when I was
talking to her, or what if he's tapping into my laptop.
Speaker 4 (07:57):
I had no idea.
Speaker 5 (07:58):
Actually that didn't cross my mind then, But I'm just
saying there was like a lot of things I didn't
know what was happening.
Speaker 4 (08:02):
But yeah, So also later, like now, in the last
year or so, is when I was like, I'm ready
for something else.
Speaker 5 (08:11):
But at the same time, I've been in the last
since this happened in twenty twenty one, in September when
I kicked him out with so like in January of
twenty twenty two is when I found twenty Robbins and
I started going to like all of his classes, signing
up for all of his stuff upw Life, Mastery, Date
with Destiny, and like other things that he saws.
Speaker 4 (08:30):
I mean, it's a package deal. I did Business Mastery
of them was one of them.
Speaker 5 (08:34):
But yeah, like I did all these things and I
started learning more and I just was like a sponge.
I started learning, I started signing up for other classes,
Like I signed up for a real estate program. I
signed up for the program that I met you through
the Wealth Wealth program stuff for Aspire, and yeah, so
like I signed up for all these other programs and
(08:55):
I was just a sponge like learning learning. And last
year actually, like I started having health issues with my legs,
Like I couldn't even sit down at Easter last year,
Like it hurt so bad in my hips my legs,
and so I was like slow down, Like.
Speaker 4 (09:08):
I was doing so much.
Speaker 5 (09:09):
I felt like I was telling me slow down because
I started I looked at late Off two years ago.
Speaker 4 (09:12):
Also, so I started.
Speaker 5 (09:14):
My own businesses and that's where I started being like, okay,
I need to be a bunge and started learning all
this stuff and figuring it out this out because I
don't want to work for anyone else again.
Speaker 4 (09:19):
I want to do my own thing. So there was
just like so much like I was driven.
Speaker 5 (09:23):
And I was working with one of my students also
who was an adult student with severe learning stabilities, and
I just started realizing like all these different things about
the brain and like what you eat and what you
drink and like everything that you consume in your body
affects how you learn. So I started like going down
that path and Okay, maybe I should be putting.
Speaker 4 (09:43):
That into my tutoring services.
Speaker 5 (09:45):
And then I started thinking, maybe I should be a
coach like I with this Fire group. I was taking
the stages of fire business classes and learned to realize, Okay,
what I'm really doing when I tutor students is I
coach Them's the answer, So why don't I saw myself
as a coach and start doing that. So over the
past like nine months, I've been trying to figure that
out and trying to figure out how do I get
my message across, how do I put in there like
(10:06):
all these things I've learned from Tony Robbins, and how
how I can help somebody learn better? And also how
can I help them get over their traumas or get
past their traumas and become who they want to be
and become their best selves. And that's how I feel
like now that's more of my mission, is helping anyone
who's dealt with traumas. And I feel like a lot
of students that have blockages with learning is also because
(10:27):
they'd had traumas in their young life percent.
Speaker 4 (10:31):
So yeah, I've learned stuff about myself, my.
Speaker 5 (10:34):
Own disabilities and like what they could have been caused
by and stuff like that. And it could be also
generational traumas and whatever else, like just habits that other
people around me were just people making fun of me,
stuff like that. So it just makes your anxiety go higher,
and that just doesn't help your brain either.
Speaker 3 (10:48):
Yeah, that was a lot. You're reminded me of myself
when you were talking about learning about this, learning about that.
I'm addicted to learning and reading, and I think about
my coaching. There's just so much we can coach about.
I think your ambition and your interests and your talents
really is setting you up to be an amazing coach.
(11:11):
I know you're diverting back and forth from architecture and
are you still doing some real estate too? Right now?
I can't remember.
Speaker 5 (11:17):
No, I have investments in it, But like I said,
I start. I signed up for a class with Dave
Lindall actually, and I was getting coached by one of
the coaches all year last year. But like I said that,
in April, like last year, around Easter, all of a sudden,
like my body was just hurting and I was like,
what is going on?
Speaker 4 (11:31):
I stopped. I was like, I need to take a
break from this. I feel like my body's seeing it
too stressed out.
Speaker 5 (11:35):
I don't know what this is, but actually, like this
bring me back to what you asked before, is I
feel like my body was affected by my traumas and
I hadn't released it yet and I had to figure
that out. And that's when I actually, like I think
started and I was like, maybe in Obust last year,
I started getting closer to God and just.
Speaker 4 (11:50):
Talking to him every day. And actually, through my twenty.
Speaker 5 (11:52):
Ro hours coach the year before, she told me to
start writing thank you, keeping a journal, writing thank you
for everything each night, and I started writing thank you
Lord to the Lord, thank you the Lord for this,
thank you Lord for that.
Speaker 4 (12:01):
So I started doing that like every night.
Speaker 5 (12:03):
And I noticed when I don't do it, like the
next day, I'm not having this good of a day.
But yeah, anyway, so I've been very like communicating with
God and just that's just been my path. Other people
can talk about their universe or whoever they're connected to
with the Creator or whatever you want to call it,
if you want it but I'm not going to tell
people that they have to believe in God. But and
that's where my roots are and that's who I am.
(12:24):
But I realized that I needed to forgive myself and
like also ask God for for forgiveness for all the
things that I felt guilty for in my life.
Speaker 4 (12:35):
And that's where I felt like.
Speaker 5 (12:37):
Finally I'm healing. Finally I'm able to cry a little
bit more and get rid of some of the stuff
that has been holding me back and keeping me stuck.
So that was another thing that I needed to share.
Speaker 3 (12:48):
Yeah, No, I have Christian but also just very spiritual
in general. And so I tell my clients, like, you
get to choose what you believe in, but just know
that the research shows if you have faith and some
higher power that actually helps your mental health a lot,
and it also helps your healing a lot from anything.
And research has studied this extensively. So I'm so thankful
(13:10):
I'm a believer because I'm like, I need to have
that hope in that faith. But yeah, so far, I
don't even know if you realize this, but you've talked
about several healing ways to heal. You talked about the
gratitude practice and journaling. You've talked about your spirituality and
talking to God, and I don't know if you mentioned
it now, but I know you've mentioned it to me before. Nutrition,
(13:34):
nutrition and movement for healing. So you really are like
a holistic healer too.
Speaker 5 (13:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (13:41):
I've been doing meditation as well.
Speaker 5 (13:43):
Yeah, meditation, yoga in the morning, and the thank you
notes at night and praying every day.
Speaker 4 (13:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (13:48):
While I was doing twenty rounds pro ram, anytime I
started having a bad thought, like my coach was like,
you're having monkey thoughts again.
Speaker 4 (13:55):
You have to change it to unicorn thoughts.
Speaker 5 (13:56):
Like as soon as you have that monkey thought, changed
to unicorn thought, And I was like yeah. So I
was like starting to come up with my own sayings
too as well, and saying every time I started having
a bad thought about anything, I started saying, I love God.
God loves me. He wants me to be so happy.
Everything's going to be all right, Everything's going to be
all right. I got God on my side, I got
got by my side. So this came into my mind,
like I beautiful all the time. I remember sharing that
(14:17):
when I was on my first date with Destiny with
Tony Robbins, I shared it with a group of people
like it in the chat and I was like, I
would say that to myself even if I didn't believe it, And.
Speaker 3 (14:27):
I was, well, that's how you believe it. That repetition.
Speaker 4 (14:29):
Repetition.
Speaker 5 (14:30):
Like all these things that I learned, Like, it's been
so helpful because I feel like my mind always used
to have negative thoughts and I didn't know how to
control it or know how to get out of it.
Speaker 4 (14:40):
So doing that really helped me. And like I said,
it brought me closer to God.
Speaker 5 (14:44):
I feel like a lot and it really like having
a mantra, no matter what it is, will help anything
that's positive.
Speaker 4 (14:50):
Would you repeat it in your mind? It'll help?
Speaker 3 (14:52):
So yeah. I also like the one I am safe
for people that had unsafe lives prior. So now in
your home when you know, like you have your alarm on,
the door is locked, you're in the safety of your bedroom.
If you start to feel anxious or triggered, I am safe.
God's looking up for me. All the things that you
were saying, I think it's really powerful. I teach CBT
(15:15):
kind of bayoral therapy, and that's a lot about what
it is. Learning how to replace your thoughts. I don't
like the word unicorns so much. If it works for people, great,
I'm a realist. I hope I'm not a negative Nelly.
I hope I've worked enough about that. But I like
the word. I like the thought of the concept of
healthier thoughts. So that's like that realm Okay, I just
work really short on time. I think you shared a lot,
(15:36):
like a lot of goodness in this episode. But I
want you to pretend there's a woman right now or
man that's listening to this podcast, who was you when
you were living with someone that was emotionally abusive and
potentially very threatening. What is your recommendation for them or
(16:01):
what are your words of encouragement for them?
Speaker 5 (16:04):
Everything that you're experiencing, write it down, write the date,
and getting a lawyer.
Speaker 4 (16:10):
But you can't afford a lawyer.
Speaker 5 (16:11):
There's the ability to just go to the courthouse and
get the paperwork and fill it out and try to
go live with someone else if you can. I was
still living with him and have a pretend and that
was probably the hardest thing. But like I said, was
during COVID, I didn't think anybody would want me to
live with them. But the more I thought about leaving
than he would know. I don't know what it's like.
(16:31):
It was a confusing situation. But I just also though,
keep your spirits high as much as you can.
Speaker 4 (16:36):
I get out nature. That's the other thing I should
have mentioned.
Speaker 5 (16:38):
I love getting out nature to take in beauty and
take in any kind of glimmer I could possibly get
so that I can still feel like the connection to
the universe, to the connection to something good instead of
living in corror.
Speaker 4 (16:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (16:55):
No, that was great, and we did not mention yet
because you have a lot of skills, is Laura is
also if for tis my pictures behind me? Yeah, it's
a beautiful picture. I've looked at that website. You've got
some really gorgeous photos there too, So we can add
that to the show notes as well. Even though that's
not the main business you're promoting for the summit, people
may want to look at your pretty picture.
Speaker 4 (17:15):
Still.
Speaker 3 (17:15):
I think it's that they can be soothing and healing
as well.
Speaker 5 (17:18):
Yes, it's totally been my passion to love. I love
taking pictures, especially with the sunlight coming through where sun sunrises, sunsets, moonlights, whatever.
Speaker 3 (17:26):
So yeah, thank you so much Laura for being a
guest on our show today and for being a speaker
at our summit.
Speaker 4 (17:33):
Thank you so much. Thanks for the opportunity, Karen.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
Thank you for listening in today. Please join us next week,
same day and time. Also, I would love for you
to check out my website Heal Thrive dream dot com.
Welcome to the Heal Thrived Dream podcast, where trauma survivors
become healthy thrivers. Each month will feature a theme in
the trauma recovery and empowerment field to promote your recovery,
healing and learning how to build dreams. Here's your host,
Karen Robinson, transformational coach and therapist.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Hi, and welcome to the Heal Thrive Dream Podcast. Today,
my guest is Laura Lorenz who is also a speaker
at the upcoming summit Finding Revitalization after Trauma and it's
a summit about health after trauma.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Laura grew up with shyness, multiple traumas, and learning disabilities. However,
she was able to put herself through college debt free
and she earned a degree in architecture. Although she found
joy in her career, he found that she had even
more joy and she worked with students, so teenagers is
(01:02):
one of her passions, working with adult survivors is another.
So Laura has been in and out of the architectural
field and then and also had more trauma experience as
an adult. Long story short, Laura is an independent, resilient
survivor that very much wants to gear help others and
(01:25):
gear them towards a life of joy by helping them
find their gifts with them. Laura, I know I did
clunky job with your bio, and that's.
Speaker 4 (01:33):
Okay because no, that worked great.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
Because everybody that listens to my podcasts know that Butcher
people's name. Sometimes I word solid issues that kind of thing. So, Laura,
I know you've been a successful architect. I also know
that you've been a volunteer and also worked with students
tutoring and coaching. Tell us about what your passion is
your work passion right now, like what you're working towards.
(01:56):
I know it's coaching, but you want to say a
little more about that.
Speaker 5 (02:00):
So I had gone through a major trauma of kicking
out my boyfriend and his teenage time out of my
place back in twenty twenty one. So after that, like
I was, I'm safe and I'm okay and everything, but like,
I just want to help others that have gone through
similar issues to deal with their trauma because when I
after it was like the after fact that really the
(02:20):
trauma set in because I was thinking about it so much.
I kept on worrying about it and worrying about it
and worrying about it. I realized like I was in more.
I was feeling the fear more so after it, because
while I was going through it, I was like just
in survival mode and having to fake it to make it,
like trying to just get through it and before I
can kick them out. And yeah, I don't know how
much detail you want to go into, but I always
(02:42):
start talking too much detail, so stop me if I am.
But yeah, like I was originally going to kick him
out because of his drinking and his disrespect and flirting
with other girls in front of me, kissing other girls
in front of me. Who knows what else he's doing
because's out till six in the morning, drinking all night,
and I didn't know where he was.
Speaker 4 (02:58):
At first.
Speaker 5 (02:59):
I was just worried about him. He started this, and
I was texting him and calling him and he wasn't
answering me whatever. Anyway, So like I'd been trying to
kick him out for over two and a half years,
because it all started after my mom had passed away,
that he started disrespecting me and staying out all night.
My mom passed away March of twenty nineteen, and so anyways,
it was around Yeah, I guess it was around a
(03:19):
little after a little more than a year and a half,
I was trying to kick him out. Actually not two
and a half years, but it all came to a
crazyness of major a lot of crazier things happening. And
when I was talking to my therapists, like, she told
me he was a narcissist, and I started realizing that,
and there was just more and more crazy things that
kept happening. So then I started decided to get a lawyer,
(03:40):
decided to go back to work because I was working
from home during COVID, but I begged to come back
to work, so I worked from the office so I
could start talking to lawyers from my work and anyway,
so I actually the person who's in charge of human
resources where I worked, she was also a lawyer, and
so I talked to her one day and she helped
me figure.
Speaker 4 (03:54):
Out how to get a lawyer and wear different resources
and how I can get.
Speaker 5 (03:57):
One, and I talked to three different layers on the
phone and finally got one. And anyways, like during the time,
it was like only a month from the time I
got a lawyer, I started talking to one from when
I got actually kicked out, and things and things were
escalating really fast, Like he started buying more guns, which
he bought a gun back in March.
Speaker 4 (04:15):
And it's just it was a very I don't even
know how to explain it.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
A lot.
Speaker 5 (04:17):
It was a lot of stuff going on. Every weekend,
I was worried, like something else, what would happen, Like
while I was home and baby were doing stuff together.
I was having to pretend that I was still in
love with him. I had to pretend that nothing was
going to happen. But I realized he was able to
get He put WhatsApp on my phone, which in the
past WhatsApp was not a good thing because they would
people who would put it on your phone, I guess
were able to get somehow a recording on tech to
(04:40):
text of everything you said.
Speaker 4 (04:42):
So I knew.
Speaker 5 (04:42):
I figured out he knew I was saying what I
was saying to my lawyer. But yeah, he started buying
more guns, and I realized while during the time that
thirty like thirty days or less, whatever it was, I
realized he was plotting to kill me.
Speaker 4 (04:53):
So I was even more.
Speaker 5 (04:54):
Scared as like days for so the night before I
turned in the paperwork, I was praying to God that
I would live that night, and I always slept like
a couple hours of that and got up it before
in the morning and left the house by five and
got went to work to edit what I was turning
in to the judge, and met my lawyer down in
downtown Denver, and and I didn't see him every yeah,
until the cops came. I had to have they had
(05:15):
to come and help or be there while he moved
his stuff out.
Speaker 4 (05:18):
But yeah, I had no idea even how to get him.
Speaker 5 (05:20):
Out of my place before I talked a lawyer, because
I was like, it's COVID, there's laws in place.
Speaker 4 (05:25):
I don't know, Like I had no idea.
Speaker 5 (05:27):
So I'm very thankful for my therapists helped me guide me,
and also very thankful for the lawyers. I talked to
the person HR person my work, other people. I talked
to my friends like they were tired of hearing my story.
I had been talking to them a bunch when ever
since my mom died, about all the things he was
doing wrong and staying out all night and stuff and.
Speaker 4 (05:46):
Anyways, it was just a crazy time.
Speaker 5 (05:48):
I like started writing out like the details of all
things I happened the other daycause I'm trying to formulate
my speech for the summit, and I was just like,
I don't even I don't even like I remember it all,
but I'd like, I don't remember feeling anything during it.
And the feeling, like I said, the feelings started happening
after I was safe, and I was scared to death,
Like I was like locking the door all the time
at my dad's house, worried.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
Yeah, it honestly sounds very terrifying. I was stalked before,
so it's the only thing that I can that's happened
to me that I remember being scared like that. I
actually wrote about it in a book that just got
published this week. I wrote about my being stock story
and my ex boyfriend speeding up the card towards me.
(06:28):
It's a very it's very scary when you don't feel
safe for sure. So I know you had this a
lot of this fight or flight going on, like just
being scared out of your mind. At what point do
you think you had the thought of I deserve more
than this. I deserve to be with somebody healthy, I
deserve to be safe. At what point do you think
you got there?
Speaker 5 (06:50):
So there's a couple of answers for that, because like
when he started disrespecting me, I was like, I need
him out here.
Speaker 4 (06:56):
I did not want to deal with him. We talked
about it a few times.
Speaker 5 (06:59):
He would say he will change, that he's not gonna
drink anymore, and that would last week and then he
goes back to drinking.
Speaker 4 (07:05):
So I kept on.
Speaker 5 (07:05):
I knew I loved him, and that's why I kept
on allowing him to keep on saying that he was
gonna change and saying that he was going to stop drinking,
and believed in him that he was.
Speaker 4 (07:14):
But yeah, like.
Speaker 5 (07:16):
It came to the point where and I saw him
kissing another girl and I was like, forget it, this
is But at the same time, like I couldn't unlove him,
And so I talked to my friends about it, and
one of my friends gave me who was she's a
therapist for her schools in Denver, and she was she
gave me phone number of a certain therapist group or
whatever that I can talk to online because everything was
(07:36):
shut down during COVID, Like I had no idea, like
how do I even get it to talk.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
To about so isolated and alone in this Yeah, I.
Speaker 5 (07:43):
Was talking to her online on zoom in my car
on my laptop, like in my car in the parking
lot of where I lived. So yeah, it was freaky
because I was like, what if he comes home and
sees me, or what if he comes down here because
he was upstairs and I kind of when I was
talking to her, or what if he's tapping into my laptop.
Speaker 4 (07:57):
I had no idea.
Speaker 5 (07:58):
Actually that didn't cross my mind then, But I'm just
saying there was like a lot of things I didn't
know what was happening.
Speaker 4 (08:02):
But yeah, So also later, like now, in the last
year or so, is when I was like, I'm ready
for something else.
Speaker 5 (08:11):
But at the same time, I've been in the last
since this happened in twenty twenty one, in September when
I kicked him out with so like in January of
twenty twenty two is when I found twenty Robbins and
I started going to like all of his classes, signing
up for all of his stuff upw Life, Mastery, Date
with Destiny, and like other things that he saws.
Speaker 4 (08:30):
I mean, it's a package deal. I did Business Mastery
of them was one of them.
Speaker 5 (08:34):
But yeah, like I did all these things and I
started learning more and I just was like a sponge.
I started learning, I started signing up for other classes,
Like I signed up for a real estate program. I
signed up for the program that I met you through
the Wealth Wealth program stuff for Aspire, and yeah, so
like I signed up for all these other programs and
(08:55):
I was just a sponge like learning learning. And last
year actually, like I started having health issues with my legs,
Like I couldn't even sit down at Easter last year,
Like it hurt so bad in my hips my legs,
and so I was like slow down, Like.
Speaker 4 (09:08):
I was doing so much.
Speaker 5 (09:09):
I felt like I was telling me slow down because
I started I looked at late Off two years ago.
Speaker 4 (09:12):
Also, so I started.
Speaker 5 (09:14):
My own businesses and that's where I started being like, okay,
I need to be a bunge and started learning all
this stuff and figuring it out this out because I
don't want to work for anyone else again.
Speaker 4 (09:19):
I want to do my own thing. So there was
just like so much like I was driven.
Speaker 5 (09:23):
And I was working with one of my students also
who was an adult student with severe learning stabilities, and
I just started realizing like all these different things about
the brain and like what you eat and what you
drink and like everything that you consume in your body
affects how you learn. So I started like going down
that path and Okay, maybe I should be putting.
Speaker 4 (09:43):
That into my tutoring services.
Speaker 5 (09:45):
And then I started thinking, maybe I should be a
coach like I with this Fire group. I was taking
the stages of fire business classes and learned to realize, Okay,
what I'm really doing when I tutor students is I
coach Them's the answer, So why don't I saw myself
as a coach and start doing that. So over the
past like nine months, I've been trying to figure that
out and trying to figure out how do I get
my message across, how do I put in there like
(10:06):
all these things I've learned from Tony Robbins, and how
how I can help somebody learn better? And also how
can I help them get over their traumas or get
past their traumas and become who they want to be
and become their best selves. And that's how I feel
like now that's more of my mission, is helping anyone
who's dealt with traumas. And I feel like a lot
of students that have blockages with learning is also because
(10:27):
they'd had traumas in their young life percent.
Speaker 4 (10:31):
So yeah, I've learned stuff about myself, my.
Speaker 5 (10:34):
Own disabilities and like what they could have been caused
by and stuff like that. And it could be also
generational traumas and whatever else, like just habits that other
people around me were just people making fun of me,
stuff like that. So it just makes your anxiety go higher,
and that just doesn't help your brain either.
Speaker 3 (10:48):
Yeah, that was a lot. You're reminded me of myself
when you were talking about learning about this, learning about that.
I'm addicted to learning and reading, and I think about
my coaching. There's just so much we can coach about.
I think your ambition and your interests and your talents
really is setting you up to be an amazing coach.
(11:11):
I know you're diverting back and forth from architecture and
are you still doing some real estate too? Right now?
I can't remember.
Speaker 5 (11:17):
No, I have investments in it, But like I said,
I start. I signed up for a class with Dave
Lindall actually, and I was getting coached by one of
the coaches all year last year. But like I said that,
in April, like last year, around Easter, all of a sudden,
like my body was just hurting and I was like,
what is going on?
Speaker 4 (11:31):
I stopped. I was like, I need to take a
break from this. I feel like my body's seeing it
too stressed out.
Speaker 5 (11:35):
I don't know what this is, but actually, like this
bring me back to what you asked before, is I
feel like my body was affected by my traumas and
I hadn't released it yet and I had to figure
that out. And that's when I actually, like I think
started and I was like, maybe in Obust last year,
I started getting closer to God and just.
Speaker 4 (11:50):
Talking to him every day. And actually, through my twenty.
Speaker 5 (11:52):
Ro hours coach the year before, she told me to
start writing thank you, keeping a journal, writing thank you
for everything each night, and I started writing thank you
Lord to the Lord, thank you the Lord for this,
thank you Lord for that.
Speaker 4 (12:01):
So I started doing that like every night.
Speaker 5 (12:03):
And I noticed when I don't do it, like the
next day, I'm not having this good of a day.
But yeah, anyway, so I've been very like communicating with
God and just that's just been my path. Other people
can talk about their universe or whoever they're connected to
with the Creator or whatever you want to call it,
if you want it but I'm not going to tell
people that they have to believe in God. But and
that's where my roots are and that's who I am.
(12:24):
But I realized that I needed to forgive myself and
like also ask God for for forgiveness for all the
things that I felt guilty for in my life.
Speaker 4 (12:35):
And that's where I felt like.
Speaker 5 (12:37):
Finally I'm healing. Finally I'm able to cry a little
bit more and get rid of some of the stuff
that has been holding me back and keeping me stuck.
So that was another thing that I needed to share.
Speaker 3 (12:48):
Yeah, No, I have Christian but also just very spiritual
in general. And so I tell my clients, like, you
get to choose what you believe in, but just know
that the research shows if you have faith and some
higher power that actually helps your mental health a lot,
and it also helps your healing a lot from anything.
And research has studied this extensively. So I'm so thankful
(13:10):
I'm a believer because I'm like, I need to have
that hope in that faith. But yeah, so far, I
don't even know if you realize this, but you've talked
about several healing ways to heal. You talked about the
gratitude practice and journaling. You've talked about your spirituality and
talking to God, and I don't know if you mentioned
it now, but I know you've mentioned it to me before. Nutrition,
(13:34):
nutrition and movement for healing. So you really are like
a holistic healer too.
Speaker 5 (13:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (13:41):
I've been doing meditation as well.
Speaker 5 (13:43):
Yeah, meditation, yoga in the morning, and the thank you
notes at night and praying every day.
Speaker 4 (13:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (13:48):
While I was doing twenty rounds pro ram, anytime I
started having a bad thought, like my coach was like,
you're having monkey thoughts again.
Speaker 4 (13:55):
You have to change it to unicorn thoughts.
Speaker 5 (13:56):
Like as soon as you have that monkey thought, changed
to unicorn thought, And I was like yeah. So I
was like starting to come up with my own sayings
too as well, and saying every time I started having
a bad thought about anything, I started saying, I love God.
God loves me. He wants me to be so happy.
Everything's going to be all right, Everything's going to be
all right. I got God on my side, I got
got by my side. So this came into my mind,
like I beautiful all the time. I remember sharing that
(14:17):
when I was on my first date with Destiny with
Tony Robbins, I shared it with a group of people
like it in the chat and I was like, I
would say that to myself even if I didn't believe it, And.
Speaker 3 (14:27):
I was, well, that's how you believe it. That repetition.
Speaker 4 (14:29):
Repetition.
Speaker 5 (14:30):
Like all these things that I learned, Like, it's been
so helpful because I feel like my mind always used
to have negative thoughts and I didn't know how to
control it or know how to get out of it.
Speaker 4 (14:40):
So doing that really helped me. And like I said,
it brought me closer to God.
Speaker 5 (14:44):
I feel like a lot and it really like having
a mantra, no matter what it is, will help anything
that's positive.
Speaker 4 (14:50):
Would you repeat it in your mind? It'll help?
Speaker 3 (14:52):
So yeah. I also like the one I am safe
for people that had unsafe lives prior. So now in
your home when you know, like you have your alarm on,
the door is locked, you're in the safety of your bedroom.
If you start to feel anxious or triggered, I am safe.
God's looking up for me. All the things that you
were saying, I think it's really powerful. I teach CBT
(15:15):
kind of bayoral therapy, and that's a lot about what
it is. Learning how to replace your thoughts. I don't
like the word unicorns so much. If it works for people, great,
I'm a realist. I hope I'm not a negative Nelly.
I hope I've worked enough about that. But I like
the word. I like the thought of the concept of
healthier thoughts. So that's like that realm Okay, I just
work really short on time. I think you shared a lot,
(15:36):
like a lot of goodness in this episode. But I
want you to pretend there's a woman right now or
man that's listening to this podcast, who was you when
you were living with someone that was emotionally abusive and
potentially very threatening. What is your recommendation for them or
(16:01):
what are your words of encouragement for them?
Speaker 5 (16:04):
Everything that you're experiencing, write it down, write the date,
and getting a lawyer.
Speaker 4 (16:10):
But you can't afford a lawyer.
Speaker 5 (16:11):
There's the ability to just go to the courthouse and
get the paperwork and fill it out and try to
go live with someone else if you can. I was
still living with him and have a pretend and that
was probably the hardest thing. But like I said, was
during COVID, I didn't think anybody would want me to
live with them. But the more I thought about leaving
than he would know. I don't know what it's like.
(16:31):
It was a confusing situation. But I just also though,
keep your spirits high as much as you can.
Speaker 4 (16:36):
I get out nature. That's the other thing I should
have mentioned.
Speaker 5 (16:38):
I love getting out nature to take in beauty and
take in any kind of glimmer I could possibly get
so that I can still feel like the connection to
the universe, to the connection to something good instead of
living in corror.
Speaker 4 (16:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (16:55):
No, that was great, and we did not mention yet
because you have a lot of skills, is Laura is
also if for tis my pictures behind me? Yeah, it's
a beautiful picture. I've looked at that website. You've got
some really gorgeous photos there too, So we can add
that to the show notes as well. Even though that's
not the main business you're promoting for the summit, people
may want to look at your pretty picture.
Speaker 4 (17:15):
Still.
Speaker 3 (17:15):
I think it's that they can be soothing and healing
as well.
Speaker 5 (17:18):
Yes, it's totally been my passion to love. I love
taking pictures, especially with the sunlight coming through where sun sunrises, sunsets, moonlights, whatever.
Speaker 3 (17:26):
So yeah, thank you so much Laura for being a
guest on our show today and for being a speaker
at our summit.
Speaker 4 (17:33):
Thank you so much. Thanks for the opportunity, Karen.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
Thank you for listening in today. Please join us next week,
same day and time. Also, I would love for you
to check out my website Heal Thrive dream dot com.
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