Episode Transcript
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The following is a presentation of FCBFaith This It's the hour Glass on the
FCB Radio Network. Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello everybody. How's everybody
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doing today? Welcome to another episodeof the hour Glass. I am Bruce
Lamont Hagens the second and I amRashima Hagens. Hey, what's going on?
Everybody? What's going on? Howare you doing today? Wonderful?
Yeah? Great? Good good?You know I ain't doing too well.
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I'm gonna let me. I'm gonnashare this with you and I'm gonna share
this with our audience. Went toMcDonald's today, goodness, Yeah. Went
to McDonald's today. All I askedthe lady. Yeah, young lady,
I said, I will like uhsausage egg McMuffin, and I want an
egg McMuffin. She said, okay, gave me the price. I said,
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thank you very much. Get getmy food, get it to the
house. So I bite into thesandwich and I'm trying to fight. I'm
trying to figure out where is theham the bacon on here? You know,
I'm chewing and you know, mymy taste Budds is looking for this
piece of ham and I can't findit. So I opened up the sandwich
and you know, they just gaveme an egg McMuffin sandwich. No,
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what happened to the Canadian baking that'ssupposed to be on there? You know
I got a problem with that.Yeah, that was terrible. It was
terrible. But that's what you getfor going to mc donald But do you
ain't say that when I actually wasyou on d well because you weren't cooking.
Well, that's why we want tomcdowald. Yeah, my food was
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okay, but I would prefer so, so you'll be cooking next time?
Yeah, I guess so. So, you know, I guess I will
forgive them on that ness upright state, aren't you? Aren't you just great?
And you know what? And heyguys, and today that's what we
want to speak on. We wantto do our part two series of forgiveness.
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You know, my wife and Iwe were you know, she brought
it to my attention that we needto, you know, come back and
revisit this because I believe we spokeon forgiveness, but we didn't speak on
um, how to forgive? Arethe steps of what to do to forgive?
And what the word says on forgiving? That person that this these steps
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will help you in your process orin your walk forgiving someone else. But
we also ended the show. Weended the first episode of forgiveness, we
ended it with forgiving yourself a man, and I believe that was the most
important part of that into that.Yeah. Yeah, so let's let's get
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on end then. You know,uh, you know, UM's you know,
you can read quite a few bookswith that. Pastors famous pastors,
right, you know, like yougot Joyce Myers, you may have Tony
Evans. You know, you havea few pastors out there that speak on
forgiveness. And you know, wekind of dived into the word and and
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we even re read a few oftheir things on what they say about forgiveness.
So, you know, let usdive in in so richid alon't you
go ahead and start first on uhwhat what what? What we think?
You know, what the forgiveness thinglooks like? And that walk is that
step we do? Okay, Sothe first thing we should mention is,
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um that forgiveness is a process.It's not something you just do one time.
It's a continuous action. It's notjust saying, um, you know,
I forgive you and move on.It's also important to note that you
have to forgive yourself before you canforgive others. So we want to talk
about these steps and how do weforgive, how do we move on?
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And please, as you listen,keep it in context to your you know
your situation, how it applies toyou, and remember that the first person
you have to forgive is yourself.Amen. Amen, You know, I
just want to start off, andthis is a very very familiar prayer,
and you know it goes our Father, who are in heaven. Hello,
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be thy name, thy Kingdom.Come, Thy will be done on earth
as it is in heaven. Giveus this day our daily bread, and
here we go and forgive us ourdebts as we forgive our dead towards.
And I'm gonna leave it right there. You know, everybody want to say
the Our Father as a as amodel prayer, but when it comes to
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that given part, you know,we got to throw the baby out with
the bath for it. Everybody wantto forgive, but you know we have
to understand, you know, andthis forgiveness walk thing that Jesus wants us
to do. You know, it'snot about accepting the person, and it's
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not about trusting the person. Really, But the thing is is to release
that person of that debt because ofthe debt that was released for you.
And we just want to come todayand just discuss some steps that we believe
that we can share with you guysthat will help you in your walk with
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forgiveness. So okay, so we'rejust gonna dive in and go into the
steps. Yeah, okay, Sohopefully you got a pencil on paper together.
Step one is anowledgement, So you'reacknowledging, let me, let me
say it, acknowledge that the hurtis there, acknowledging that the pain is
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real, and acknowledging that your feelingsare valid. So what that means is,
you know, this would be easierif I wasn't looking at Bruce,
But you know, because you're right, because because because you know I'll be
feeling it right now just just talkingabout it. Well, this is obviously
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for you, is it? Solet me help to God be the glory
because you know it's gonna be savingsomebody else, you know, so so
let me help you, right,Okay. So acknowledgement, acknowledgement. Acknowledgement
is important because you are not denyingthat it even exists. A lot of
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times you can't A lot of us, you know, we can't get back
to the first step of forgiveness becausewe don't even want to acknowledge that the
pain is even there. And it'simportant to say, you know this,
this happened, and this hurt youknow, stand stand in that, don't
don't marinate in it. Just acceptthat it happened. I was hurt by
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it, and I just need toacknowledge that it's that it exists, and
the fact that I am hurt isokay. You know a lot of times
in the process of forgiveness, you'refine, giuse me multiple times that you
just have to give yourself permission tofeel some things, and when you do
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that, it allows you to healfrom it. But if you don't acknowledge
that the issue is even there,you'll never get through forgiveness. So that's
step one. Did you want tocomment before I move on? No,
I don't want you to, okay. Step two. Step two is reflect
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reflect And I like to use theword reflect because it forces you to think
before you draw a conclusion, beforeyou make a decision about you know what
your next step is. You haveto sit and reflect and reflecting takes time.
Okay, so do you analyze that? Then? Do you analyze your
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emotions when you're doing that? Youknow what I mean? Because yes,
that's what that's what reflection is.That ain't really what reflection is, but
you say, you know, yougotta analyze that. Are you with are
you with me today? Are youon my team right now? I don't
know? Okay, well maybe thisshould be the eye reglass of Regimah.
Yeah, so reflect I can forgiveyou for that. We'll go back to
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step number one. Okay, Soreflecting. So reflecting means that you're thinking
about, you know, what happened, um, And that's what I'm asking
you to do. When I'm askingyou to reflect, I'm asking you to
think about how this pain or howthis whatever the situation is, How did
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it affect you? How did itchange you? Did it carry over into
other relationships? Did it cause youto not do some things? You know,
were you in a bad place becauseof your hurt? That you had
opportunities you didn't accept or you didn'tyou know, you you had a job
offer that you didn't take it becausethe person that hurts you might be at
that particular company. Or did younot pursue this relationship because it was connected
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to somebody you knew that hurt you? Or you know, how did it
How did this pain hurt you?And how did it carry over? And
how is it affecting you? Nowthat's it's that's hard to do, but
it's it's very important that you understandhow has this pain changed you? Because
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to say it hasn't is also aform of denial because if it hasn't changed
you, why is it still there? So think about that, you know,
and reflect, and when you startthe process of forgiveness, I really
want to encourage you to write orrecord, you know, journal some kind
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of way that will allow you torecord what you're doing. And I like
when when I'm coaching people through forgiveness, a journal is an absolute necessary tool
because from the beginning of the processto the end you can see your progress
when when you start journaling to whenyou get to that place where you can
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say, I really did forgive thatperson. You go back and you when
you read what you wrote, likethe first couple of days of the process,
you're like, oh my god,you know, I was a mess
and but it's okay, you know, it's okay to say this hurt me,
this is how it hurt me.You know, five years later,
I'm still dealing with it. Allthat's okay because it's honest and it's your
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truth. And I just want toencourage everybody to stand in their truth and
own whatever it is. Um that'sthat's that's hurting you and holding you back.
So let me ask you, So, being easily offended doesn't mean that
how you feel it's being downplayed you. I'm trying to say, I think
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you know, you know, youdon't know what I'm trying to say.
Okay, break it down, Okay, So you know how some people get
offended and you like, you know, you all in your fellers just that
another. But you, like yousaid, your truth is your truth.
So you know, not being downplayedon how you feel, there's nothing wrong
with that. You know? Whatdo you question that that thing? Are
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you easily offended? You know?Yeah? Yeah? And that comes into
reflection too, because sometimes you haveto ask, did this pain come upon
because I was offended? Or tothis pain come upon because I was I
was brought was wrong? But whatif they don't they weren't trying to hurt
you? If that's that's part ofthe next few steps. Okay, next
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step is acceptance. Acceptance is it'sthis is this real talk. Acceptance is
when you just sit back and say, you know what, I can't change
anything that's already happened. Oh,we were gonna do the serenity prayer high.
No, so what we do.We're gonna say, I can't accept
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any I can't change anything that's alreadyhappened. That's what. That's what.
No matter how much you wish umthings could change. You can reflect,
then you can think back. Thisis the time where you accept all roles
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in the issue, the problem,the situation. For the second of this
conversation, I'm just gonna keep referringto it as a situation. So this
is the part where you sit backand you say, I can't do anything
about what was done. I can'tdo anything about what I did, I
can't do anything about what that persondid and you and in coming to that.
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The reason that we encourage you toaccept is because this is the crossroads
where you have to decide are youable to move forward and actually forget,
Because if you can't accept where youare and what happened, you probably won't
be able to go to the nextstep. That makes sense. Well,
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yeah, you know, because Ibelieve what in Matthew the eighteen twenty one
to thirty fifth verse, you know, Jesus talks about that person that's uh
not unforgiving. He said that personis wicked. You know, you wicked
if you can't forgive, you know, right, So that's you know that
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that speaks volume because he wants youto you know, it's like he wants
you to forgive, and it's hard. It's hard to forgive. I mean
because some some situations. Yeah,all right, Like I'll speak for myself.
You know, I've been put insituations where, you know, as
a man, I'm like this here, you know what, I ain't gonna
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forget this, but just you know, just somebody got to get dealt with.
But you know, I mean,you know, somebody, you know.
So before we go to that point, I also want to remind everybody
that the Bible does tell us toforgive as God has forgiven us. I
have to forgive so we can beforgiven. So that's my other little tidbit
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on that. So say I forgive, but somebody still got to get dealt
with. Okay, So then wego okay, so stop because you're going
ahead of me. Okay, okay. So the last part of acceptance,
this is a deliberate decision to forgiveand move on. So I can't deal
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with listen, I need to puta step in here. Something. You
also have to exercise some patience.Forgiveness is not easy and it does not
happen right away. It takes time. There are some things you're gonna be
able to forgive people in a week. Something's gonna take six months. Some
things don't take a year. Alldepends on where you are, and uh,
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excuse me, emotionally, all dependson where you are spiritually. All
depends on where you are mentally.Next step, Yeah, recognize, write
this down. Recognize that unforgiveness.I'm looking right at you. Recognize that
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unforgiveness is a trick of the devil. That's right. Remind him he is
a liar. Because what happens iswhen you stay in that place of unforgiveness,
you're allowing the devil to trick youto think you are still in control.
You are not in control when you'rein a space of unforgiveness. It's
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not what it's really excuse me,it's a smoke screen. It's a smoke
screen that allows you to keep functioning. But you are not in control by
not exercise and forgive forgiveness because theperson that you're not forgiven is still living
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their life and moving on. Inmost cases, they don't even know your
harboring autist resentment. So what areyou in control over? So recognize and
when you recognize that, I wantto encourage you and empower you to take
your power back. You know,refused to be the victim of this situation.
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Cancel whatever issue it really is,and seek God and allow him to
be the justice maker that you're lookingfor. You know, if you're looking
for um. I've heard people say, you know, I can't move on
until I know they're hurting like Ihurt. Well, by what authority can
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you say that you can't exact revengeon anybody? You don't even have that
kind of power. And if youdid anything physical, that's not legal and
we don't want you to get introuble. So by what by what authority
do you think revenge is yours?Because the Bible tells us that vengeances the
lords right, so it may feelgood for a minute, but it does
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not work. It does not haveany permanent you know, in a minute.
Well, but that's but it's notgonna change that. You still have
no power. Revenge is not power. Revenge is not power. But somebody
getting deal with don't mean okay,but the pain, the pain you can
inflict, is not going to changewhat's already been done to you. That
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is true. So what's the point. I don't know what is the point
for Sima? What is the point? Is you're gonna heal, You're gonna
forgive, and you're gonna move on, okay, and you're gonna let God
handle whoever you feel has done youwrong. Okay, Hey, let let
God handle it all right? Okay, Lord helped me, so get out
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of the way. Let God doit, do what he gonna do for
all, you know. And Iremember one time in particular, I was
talking to somebody about this exact topicand she said, you know, I
can't move on till I know thatthey've been hurt like me. And I
asked her was this someone that shetalked to on a regular basis. She
said no, And I said,well, how do you know God hasn't
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already dealt with them. How doyou know he hasn't already answered your pain
and you still sitting here talking aboutyou can't move on. They could have
been dealt with and have recovered fromthat and moved on, and you still
sitting in the same spot. Yeah, where is the sense in that?
So I want to encourage you allto just remember, so we got acknowledge,
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reflect, except and recognize. Thoseare the first four. Yes,
okay. Number five is where Iusually and I'm gonna be honest, I'm
a life coach and this is usuallywhere I lose clients. Number five,
that's when that my client is usuallydost take accountability. Nobody likes to take
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accountability for the part they played inthe situation, not saying you're always going
to be, you know, apart of it. And I'm just being
real. I'm not talking about peoplethat have been you know, violated,
or victims of painous crimes or anythinglike that that I'm not even going there.
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We're talking about just relationships and yourfeelings have been hurt, things like
that. But before you can forgiveanybody, you have to take accountability and
stand in your own mess and say, you know, this is the part
I played in this mess, whetherit was something you did or something you
didn't do, Because there are timesin relationships when you know something's going left
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and you might not always do something. Sometimes sitting back and not doing anything
is your answer to the to theproblem, but that just makes it worse.
So you have to take accountability forwhen you didn't do anything, and
for when you did something that didn'thelp the situation at all. You know,
think about the words that came outof your mouth during this moment,
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or or you know, things youdid, things you said, things you
put out to their families and France. You have to take accountability for your
own mess. So now y'all understandwhy I lose people here? Yeah,
so you have to um acknowledge andtake accountability for the decline that the part
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of the decline of the relationship ordersituation. Ask yourself, and be very
honest, ask yourself, what didI do that cause A, B and
C not saying. Don't ever saywhat did I do that that I deserved
it? You don't. It's notabout deserving. But we have to be
honest and understanding that there are thingswe do for every for every reaction,
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there's a reaction, what action ofhours caused a reaction of something else.
And that's when you forgive yourself forwhatever you did and you learn from it
because you're not gonna do it inthe next relationship. Doesn't help if you
just repeat the same behavior. Youhave to commit to making the change.
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Okay, you're gonna say something,Okay, okay. Next one is this
is my favorite one. Release.This is the fun part because you get
to let go of the negativity,the negative thoughts, the pain, and
however you have to do it.Some people just journal it and once they
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write it out, it's like arelease. It's cathartic and they get it
out. Some people have to verbalizeit, you know, actually just you
know, stand in the room andsay it. And you know, however,
you have to do it, cryit out, talk it out,
write it out, do all threeif that's what you know, If that's
what you need, um, butwhatever it takes to get it out and
commit to never picking up those sameold habits and that old baggage, do
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that and take as long as youneed to do it. You know,
I tell people all the time,nobody can put a time limit on your
forgiveness. Just like, nobody canput a time limit on your recovery.
This is personal and its individual.So however long it takes you, that's
how long it takes you. Ifyou feel like you're getting stuck in one
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part of the process so you can'tget past a certain part of the process,
that's when you reach out to myselfas a life culture. That's when
you reach out to Bruce as aminister, or whoever you trust that you
talk to. That's when you reachout to someone that can help you get
a little further. But that releasepart is amazing. You'll come out of
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it feeling ten pounds lighter because you'renot carrying all that weight. And that's
the ultimate, you know, that'sthe goal, to just be able to
release and let that stuff go.Would you say unforgiveness as a sin?
You asked me that the last time. I think I said yes, because
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we are given instruction to forgive,So forgiving instruction to do something and we
don't do it. Well, I'mwe're asking that because you were saying,
you know, to release it tosomebody, because the word says confess your
sins to one another so that youmay be healed. So you know,
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That's why I asked that. Yeah, I was waiting for you to with
some word. You know, Igot the word, but you know,
I'm I'm just sharing it. I'mjust sharing the platform at all. Right.
So my last one, last step, Yeah, now you're ready to
forget? How because you went throughthe first six steps. So you you
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went through the first six steps.Now we're ready to forgive? Sure?
Ready? Though, if you're notgoing back to the step that you think
you need to go back to,I mean, you know, if you
if you sincerely go through these stepswholeheartedly, openheartedly, yes, when you
get to this last one, you'llbe ready. Okay, Okay, forgive
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and pray there you go. Okay, you have to pray for yourself to
continue this journey of forgiveness. Youhave to pray that you're constantly in a
place of forgiveness. And I knowyou're not gonna want to, but you
have to pray for the person youhave to forgive you. I know you're
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not gonna want to, and Iknow it's not always easy, um,
but it is necessary. And justlike anything else, you know, the
more you do it, the easierit gets, the better it gets.
I personally pray for people. Youknow, I know folks that are trying
to do me wrong. Now Ipray for them this morning. Oh yeah,
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I don't have a problem with it. Yeah, I'll bless you because
you see what I'm saying. Becausesee, I mean, because it all
sounds good. I mean it's good. I mean what you're saying is good
word and it's good. But aperson like myself, with this attitude that
I got, you know, weread these steps all day. Well you
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know what, I how many timesI got to go back to Step one
as often as you need to,Okay, as often as you need to
because I look at it like this. You know, forgiveness is not that
hard for me, you know,because I know. But I'll tell you
why, because I've been in aplace of unforgiveness. I've been in a
place of forgiveness. So I've gotboth to you know, I can,
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I can relate to both. Forgivenessmakes me happier than being in a place
of unforgiveable. Well, I wouldhave unforgiveness makes me happier. Well,
it's something it makes you happier becauseyou haven't experienced forgiveness. What you mean,
maybe I have to forget. Youknow, some people you forgive,
some people you might not want toforgive. Either way, I'm happy,
but you know because at the butat the end of the day, that
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the forgiveness is about you and God. It's not about you and that person
anymore, because the Bible tells usthat we are to forgive, right,
Yeah, so all right, sowe gotta forgive. Be mad and sin
not. Huh, that's what youtrying to say, be mad, but
said not said not? You couldbe bad on you. You could be
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bad on you. What you can'tsaid those? Don't you know? For
me, it takes a lot moreenergy to remember that Proverbs I gave y'all
at the first beginning where we started, what probably would it say those?
Now I'll just playing don't don't,don't don't do that? You know,
but it said you know how longyou got to wait before God hit this
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dude in the mouth for once?Well, my question would be, why
are you even concerned? But becausebecause because that that hurts distilling? But
you know, there's so much todo in this walk, and there's so
much to do in life period,Why would you Why am I going to
waste time wondering about what's going tohappen to somebody else that ain't even in
my house. It's a sidebar.You got to use a sidebar, you
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know. But I understand that you'resaying, and that's true, it's true.
But I'm just throwing out scenarios becausepeople are in a real place of
her. Yes, and you know, this a forgiveness thing. You know,
it's hard, and it's it's hard. It is people are hurting.
People do need to understand. Ithink we've always in church, you know,
we've always told people what to do, but we have forgotten to tell
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people how to teach people how todo those things. Yeah, so that's
why we're here. We can tellpeople all the time what to do,
but I think the purpose, oneof the purposes of the hour glass is
to give people the twols to knowhow. Yeah, and that's what I'm
just gonna stay focused on that andand minister to my husband sometimes. But
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you know that's what we gotta do. You ain't gotta side jabs with me,
because yeah, I thought the sidejabs with me, I would saying,
I'm just you know, making makinga point, so we're gonna come
back. I don't want to comeback. We're gonna come back. I'm
gonnaa lay hands on, Bruce.We're gonna come back to the second half
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forgiveness. Yes, thank you guys. We'll be back. This is the
Hourglass, the hour Glass Radio Network. Welcome back, y'all. Second part
of the hour Glass. I amBruce Lamont. Hagen's the second with Hagens.
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What's happening? So listen. Wewas just on the break and you
have said something very profound about learningwhat to do that sometimes the church has
strayed away on teaching how to dealwith unforgiveness. Kind of elaborate on that.
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What you were saying that we hadwith the falling away of the teaching,
Well, I was saying, youknow, um, being somebody that's
grown up in church, I've beenin church all my life. Um,
I remember a time when the churchtold you what to do and they taught
you how to do it. Andit seems like now a lot of churches
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tell you what to do and thenthat's it. They tell you what to
do on Sunday, then next Sundayit's another topic. So I want to
go back to a time a placewhere, um, you know, we
had we can teach how to dothings. You know, we can teach
you how to forgive, We canteach you how to pray, we can
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teach you how to how to tearryuntil the Holy Ghost coming. You know,
that's what you want to do UM, you know, because there's a
there's a need for it. Ithink people nowadays are hungry for the explanations
and a deeper understanding. You know, people are smarter now, you know,
with technology being what it is,and and we know kids are born
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smarter, you know, you know, just coming out the wound, they're
smarter, so they're learning faster,and they're trying to learn deeper and go
deeper. And I think as justas Christians, you know, I don't
think we need to walk away orstep back from going deeper. You know,
you don't wait till somebody is maturingchrist or until they get a certain
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title, you know, to startdiving, taking those deep dives in the
UM conversations. And I think alot of times the church has dropped the
ball on, you know, tellingpeople this is what you need to do,
this is what's wrong with you.Well, if something's wrong with me,
tell me how to fix it.Yeah, you know, don't just
let me go out of church broken. That's how it came in. I'm
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not supposed to leave the same way. So I think, as you know,
as Christians and as ministers, asleader leaders in the church, we
are responsible for giving people the toolsthat they need. And I was saying
to you that I think, youknow, the hourglass is definitely a place
where people can get the tools thatthey need to um go deeper. Yeah,
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yeah, you know. And Iyou know, I don't. I
like to joke and I like tobring up scenarios on issues on how people
may think or either how I think. But you know, when when the
rubber meets the road and we're talkingabout forgiving and trying to leave unforgiving,
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you know, we're looking at asociety now, I mean where our babies
are getting killed and mothers are arewe I mean mothers are weeping, sons
are dying, you know, andthey're trying to figure out how do you
forgive such a thing? How doyou know? What is it? How
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do you forgive that? How doyou forgive just knowing your your son was
was shot or killed? You know, the steps that we know that the
Bible tells us what to do.I believe, as we are speaking this,
we have to let the audience knowthat God's word is real. Yes,
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his word is true. His worddoes not come back void to him,
but he say it is. That'swhat it is. Even through hurt,
pain, tribulations, trials, thewhole temptation thing, whatever, you
know, we have to realize firstand foremost that God has forgiven us right,
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right. So that's one of thesteps I would like to say,
God has forgiven us for what wehave done. You know, and you
know, and it's a it's ait's a funny thing because you you asked.
You know, something has been doneto you. Okay, let me
use myself. Something has been doneto me, right And at that moment,
(34:16):
I'm not saying, uh, well, you know, the devil used
him, Satan has used it.I'm saying, this dude right here has
offended me. We have to realizeand it's hard, and it's hard,
even hard for me. I haveto realize if someone has offended me,
(34:38):
maybe it wasn't the person than thespirit that is in him. Yes,
you follow, I'm saying, Socan I look at forgiving a little easier?
Yeah, I can't yes, Imean it's hard though. You know,
(34:58):
someone just lost their child. They'renot trying to hear it was the
spirit that was any right, youknow, right, But we have to
know what the word says. Andit's so clear, you know when we're
when we're praying for those who offendedus, you know, the word says,
(35:19):
love your enemies, and pray forthose who persecute you, those who
you know who are at you,those you know, like you said,
you got some people at you rightnow and we know that, you know,
And I remember we disgusted it.I said, you know when you
got to pray for them? Yea, you know, pray for your enemy.
And I did, right, butyou know that's easier said than done.
(35:42):
Yeah, and you know what Iwhat I don't And even in church,
I think there's like some forgiveness MythBusters, you know, or you hear
people say, you know, letyour let your haters be your motivators and
all the kind of you know I'msaying, and not trying to keep it
moving, you know, I wantto me that's just stupid. And no,
(36:05):
I can motivate myself, thank youvery much. First and foremost,
I can motivate myself, thank you. Second, encourage myself. Second,
I think for me, if I'maware, like I I you know,
I've been made aware there are somethings going on right now, it doesn't
(36:27):
bother me, and it doesn't takeme to a place where I need to
forgive because the offense, first ofall, hasn't been committed towards me.
The offense has been committed towards God. Because that's a spiritual issue. And
I leave all things spiritual, youknow that's God. I don't have to
worry about that. But in mynatural self, I know I have to
pray for those people because of thespirit that is operating in them. Yeah,
(36:53):
and you know that I'm not eventhough I talk about it easily.
I'm not trying to give the impressionthat it's just blam band one two three.
You know, there are times whenI have to do it. I
don't want to, you know,there are times when I have to do
it and I'll you know, talkto God and said, Lord, I
really don't want to do this,but I'm gonna do it anyway. You
(37:14):
know, I don't just go intomy prayer room skipping and you know,
happy with a with a with abowl full of daisies, happy that I
got to do this all the time. Sometimes it really is hard, sometimes
I really don't want to do it. But for me, the reward is
bigger than the problem. So forthe reward is that once I pray,
(37:37):
I release anything that is offensive tome. And once I start praying,
I release God's angels to act onmy behalf. So once I've done that,
I don't have anything to worry about. And if that person or those
people want to steal, you know, like everybody wants to call haters haters
(38:00):
still want to do what they do, that's fine. You know, that's
them that has nothing to do withme. Yeah, but you know,
with that being said, even ifnothing that's really done to you, and
say it was done to a familymember, you know that that unforgiving.
(38:23):
That forgiving. I mean, it'shard to do when when you are harming
my family, you know, allbets of you know, okay, here
we go, somebody do something toyou, all bets off? What what?
What? What am I forgiving?I gotta forget? Yeah, yeah,
yes, I gotta forgive. Wetalked about it, even you,
(38:49):
so even you, something happened toyou, you like this here Oh,
Bruce, you go ahead and forgivethem. That's what you're gonna tell me,
is what I don't know. That'show to con say. She's gonna
go verbatim, but we are goingto have a conversation and I'm going to
encourage you to forgive that. Yeahit's okay. I don't say it was
(39:10):
okay, but but forgive them andyou're okay with that, You're good that.
Yeah, a lot of people don'tfeel that way, and I actually
I'm the only one that feels theway that I do that. I know,
you know a lot of people arefeeling that. You know, I
(39:30):
know, you know, I know, you know people people get into a
situation and they get hit, theywant to hit back. But you know,
forgiveness, it is bigger than biggerthan forgiveness is ultimately your healing,
you know, your whole healing,and it's it's part of your healing to
forgive. Yeah, you know,I'm more focused on the reward and the
(39:51):
goal than i am on the steps. The steps don't bother me if I'm
focused on what I'm trying to getout of it. Okay, that's good.
So that's how that's just how mymind works. You know. That's
just how I go about things,so things don't catch me necessarily. Yeah,
And like I said, when itwhen it comes to people, I
(40:12):
have one rule from my for dealingwith people in general, and that rule
is I accept people where they areokay. You know, it's like if
you if you if you know somebody'sa thief, you don't hand them your
wallet, right, you know somebodya liar, you don't really listen to
anything. Can you just me?But you know what I'm saying, I
(40:39):
accept people where they are, youknow, just like if I know somebody
the fool, I expect them toact foolishly. Right. So stuff doesn't
bother me as much as as Iknow it bothers other people. And I
know a lot of times people thatknow me will say, you know,
maybe you know Hima's kind of nonchalant. I'm not nonchalant. I care very
deeply act, but once I seewho you are, I just accept you
(41:05):
right where you're at. Okay,So there's no need for me to get
it. It's it's not impossible,but it takes a lot for me to
be moved by anything you do.Because whatever you do, nine times I
ten it's going to be part ofyour character, So why why am I
gonna get bad? You know,It's like if you see a snake and
a snake trist to bite you,you don't get mad at the snake.
It's just doing what it It's what'sin its nature. So it's in your
(41:29):
nature to be that way. Sowhy would I get upset with you about
it? Why? And I don'tget offended easily because it's in your nature
to be in a certain way.So it's just like, you know,
some some people that are you knowthat you know, God has shown me
it's coming, are coming at meright now. It's in their nature to
be that way. So I'm notoffended. Yeah, yeah, I'm well,
(41:55):
you know I was, even thoughI know I was hoping and praying
that they wouldn't. Yeah, butthey did. Yeah, so here we
are. And yeah, I meanI just believe, you know, for
me, I just believe when youcan accept people where they are, you
have a there's a lot more peaceabout me. I don't have a lot
of stress, thank God, um, because I don't. I don't really
(42:21):
look for people to be outside ofwho they are. Yeah, now people
want to change, that's great.If they want to change, I can
help them, or I can praythem into whatever they gotta do, but
not to change for me. Butyou know what was good and what is
what is so loving and caring aboutour God is that he says, you
(42:43):
know, cash your cares on theLord and he will sustain you. I
thought you're gonna say, what's soloving and caring about me? He will?
Well, what you want to discussthat you will girlhead and start talking
about that. I'll just say thatI thought you. I thought you still
give you at a girl or somethingyou want to talk about that you want
to you want to stop that,Okay, go ahead, thank you.
(43:06):
And he said, cast your careson the Lord and he will sustain you.
He will never let the righteous beshaken. And I'm speaking on that
because we can get into a placewhere we thought that we forgave and has
not right, and He will bringthat back to you, especially especially when
(43:28):
he wants to do something in you. You can't do nothing for God until
you get all that out. That'strue. You may thought I was not
even gonna go there, But sinceyou went there, I was gonna talk
about that. So many people,so many leaders in church professionalize whatever.
(43:51):
I'm not attacking the church, soplease don't take it that way. But
there's so many people of influence thatare ministering or teaching or leading out of
places of unforgiveness. And all you'rereally doing is sharing your pain and sharing
your hurt and teaching people how towalk into pain with you. You're not
(44:12):
helping anybody. You're not you knowyou're you're not. You're not even having
therapy because they say sometimes you knowwhen you talk, when you talk about
it's cathartic and it helps you whenyou're in the leadership. If you haven't
gotten all that mess out of you, all you're doing is is um science.
Scientists say that when we speak um, things are released in the atmosphere.
(44:37):
Right, yes, so when wespeak, things are released in the
in the atmosphere that actually initiate whatwe speak to manifest. Right when you're
especially in the spiritual because if you'reif you're speaking the word of God,
(44:58):
God's word is always alive and active. So when you're speaking his word,
his word is already moving right right, It's already alive, it's already moving.
If you didn't catch it, thenext person next to you will because
his word when I fall to theground. BOYD right, that's right.
Okay. So when you're speaking andyou're you're coming out of that place,
all you're doing is spreading little seedsof unforgiveness and bitterness and anger and hurt.
(45:22):
All you're doing is replanting what's inyou. And if you haven't gotten
that out, I really would encourageyou to step back for a minute,
a moment and get that out soyou can actually teach and influence from a
place of love and recovery. It'sso many people, you know. I've
(45:46):
heard people say, you know,I forgive, but I won't forget.
Then you haven't forgiven, right,and you haven't forgetten you that's lip service.
You haven't forgiven a dog on thing. You know. I forgiven,
I've forgotten, and you know howI am bruise. I can forgive,
forget, move on. I've seenpeople I've forgotten you even existed. Because
(46:10):
I when I say it's I'm done, it's not just a cute phrase.
I'm not being dramatic. I havegone through the process and I've done the
work to be done. I don'twant to be done, just figuratively.
I want to be done literally soI can move on. You cannot get
(46:31):
to the place God wants you togo staying in unforgiveness. We talked about
that on the first segment. Wetalked about how unforgiveness stunt your growth.
It doesn't just stunt you, youknow, physically, it's stunt you professionally,
spiritually, through your relationships. Youknow, maybe the marriage didn't work
(46:53):
because of your unforgiveness. Maybe youand a sibling aren't talking because there's unfair
giveness that should be resolved that wasnever that big of an issue. Yeah,
you know, it's just it.It hurts my heart when people in
leadership are leading from a place ofpain. Yeah, yeah, you know,
(47:17):
it's a it's a hard thing whenyou don't, I believe, surrender
your whole self to God. Youknow, he says, bring it to
the altar, you know, bringit there and leave it there. But
(47:38):
you know, even myself, I'llbring it to the altar, and as
soon as the thought come back,I'll take it right back from the altar
and put it back in my bag. And here I am harboring unforgiveness again.
You know, he says, youknow, ask and they will be
(48:00):
given. Seek and you will findknocking the door will be open. God
can help you with this unforgiven.He can help you because He wants you
to forgive. When he was onthe cross, he said, Father,
forgive them, for they do notknow what they do. Sometimes people doing
stuff and they don't even know thatthey're doing it right, Forgive them,
(48:22):
you know. And that's that's ahard thing to do. Like I say,
especially when someone has hurt you orhurt someone in your family. When
you have situations and you know,I don't mean the harbor on this,
more situations when women have been violatedor even men have been violated, you
know, and they look for,you know, reconciliation. They need they
(48:44):
need some you know, something done. And Jesus like he'll having that for
you. He'll handle that for you, you know. And I'm gonna share
this. I'm gonna share this.How much time we got, I'm gonna
share this. We're good, okay. I'm gonna be very transparent with my
(49:05):
people in here and the people outthere in the audience. This segment,
this segment that we're doing, Ihad no idea it would bring something up
out of me that I didn't knowthat was still deep down inside of me
of unforgiveness. Something happened to mein the transition of my dad passing,
(49:34):
and it happened file and I thoughtI forgave because I thought it was over.
And as we go through the scripturesand as we go through the steps
of forgiving, it just gave mea feeling of that I had not forgave.
(49:59):
I still, you know, wantto want to get at that person
or the people that had did myfamily wrong at the at the homegoing.
But I'm so glad that we revisitthis because before I can even move further
in the ministry, or if Icould, before I could move further,
(50:22):
for what the Lord has me todo right now, I'm hindered. I'm
at a standstill because see, Ineed to take this back to the Father,
back to the altar. I needto analyze, like you said,
no one who them people are andtake them for who they are and what
(50:43):
they're worth. This is the Iwant to say this to our family out
there. This is the healing process. Know who they are, whoever did
anything to you, analyze yourself firstand figure out who they are and what
(51:04):
kind of person they are. Soyou can go to the altar and pray
to God and ask him to liftthis up off you of unforgiveness, just
like I will do, and prayfor yourself like I will do. That
I can move forward. Now.You know, we've talked about this,
and I didn't realize again that Idid not forgive. I thought I did,
(51:31):
but I did not. So doingthis gives me the tools to really
forgive, because, as my wifesays, I want the blessing that comes
with the forgiveness. I want todo a better job is servicing our people.
(51:52):
That's listening to us in a cheerfulway. You know a lot of
times when we you know, wetalk out of experience and and and you
know, and sometimes out of hurt. And this may be one of the
cases because I did not let allthe way go because it was personal to
me. But I'm glad we talkedabout this because this gives us all the
(52:20):
tools and it gives us everything weneed that the Father wants us to do.
Now now I can sit back andsay that our Father in truth and
not just a cliche, because Iknow what I know the words my heart,
and that's why so I wanted tosay, that's why prayer during this,
(52:40):
during this time of trying to getto a place of forgiveness, that's
my prayer is so important because inprayer, God will explain a lot of
this to you. You know,he'll help you. Like you said,
you sometimes you have to recognize thespirits that the people are operating in and
why things are happening. Sometimes thatclarity is brought to you by prayer.
(53:04):
And it's so important that when yougo through this um that you actually stay
in a place of prayer through eachstep. You know, before you start,
during each step, when when you'vegone through the steps, because He
will open you up to see andunderstand things about yourself, about the person
(53:25):
that you're praying about. You know, um, the old school, back
in the old days, the ladiesused to pray, Lord, show me
me, you know, show mewhat I'm doing that's not pleasing to you,
or show me what I'm doing thatplayed a part in all of this,
and show me how to fix it. Because you know, when you're
when you're done praying, you know, one of the things you want is,
(53:46):
of course you want to you wantto come into an understanding of how
you do better so you don't keeprepeating these same behaviors. And if you
find that you're at fault, youknow, for some of some of the
things that have gone on, youdefinitely want to know, how do I
not do that again? And ifI hurt somebody else that I'm you know
what, if I'm praying to forgivesomebody and find out or realize that I
(54:10):
should be asking them for forgiveness,how do I do that? How do
I pray and forgive myself because Iwas wrong? But all that in prayer
becomes clearer to you. Yeah,and it's it's it's nice that you said
that, because even during communion,you got to examine yourself. Yes,
(54:34):
you know, before you do anything, examine yourself. Jesus my Man said,
take the plank out your eye beforeyou take the salt does out of
somebody else's eye, you know,So forgive first, First of all,
forgive yourself. It's crazy because youhave to forgive yourself for not forgive it,
(55:00):
you know, you know what I'msaying you before you got to go
this this process, But it's aprocess that's necessary. Forgive yourself for not
forgiven, forgive them, you know, And hopefully that you can push forward
to whatever that's going to come next. Yes, you know, but we
(55:23):
have to realize that the forgiveness partwhat the first forgiver. The first forgiver
was Jesus. You know what theydid to him, you would think,
by our standards it's unforgiving. Yes, But if he said, and that's
(55:45):
who we follow, and that's whowe say. You know, we always
talk about I plead the blood,the blood cleanses me from the crown of
my head to the souls of myfeet. Is the blood of Jesus,
nothing but the blood. Okay,if that's if that's what we doing forgive,
right, if that's what we're saying, that's what we're pleading. He
(56:06):
was the first one to forgave,forgives, you know, as a matter
of fact, he was forgiven beforehe even went to the cross. What
do you do with the woman thatgot caught in adultery? You know they
wanted to stole this woman. Theyyou know, they weren't showing her no
slack, My lad, I say, you know, whoever perfect, you
gonnahead and cash that first one?Right, I'm just paraphrase, you know,
(56:29):
whoever perfect? He started drawing whatthey say he started doing stuff in
the sand. You know, theydon't know. It could have been it
could have been my name. Hewas, you know, he was putting
in there, and you know,and then the woman still standing there,
You're like, you know what youwant? You know you're still standing there,
Go and send no more. Right, he forgave, He forgave.
(56:51):
Then he has been forgiving us allthrough his walk. But the truth forgiveness
is when he went on that crossfor us, and he's told and he
asked the Father, you know,forgive them for which they do not know
what they do. Man, youknow what if I may, you know,
do due, diligent and just andjust send out a prayer for those
(57:15):
who are struggling with unforgiveness. IfI may just pray for you guys along
with myself, you know I wouldtruly truly be humbled by it. Gracious
heavy Father, in the name ofJesus the First forgive. We thank you,
Father, and we thank you Fatherfor this lesson that we have learned
(57:37):
through you. We ask your Fatherthat let the scriptures come live in us
on forgiveness. We thank your Fatherthat you said forgive, because you have
forgiven us but we ask your Fatherto give us that strength to forgive,
to move forward out of that fleshand let the Holy Spirit that dwells in
us to forgive whatever the case mayhave been. I asked you Father right
(58:01):
now to touch your people out there, that they Father may be able to
forgive, and you Father see themwholly inacceptable in your sight. We thank
your Father that you move forward intheir lives, Father, to truly show
them the scriptures on forgiving. Sowe lift you up, Father, and
I asked you to touch everyone atthe sound of my voice that is listening,
(58:23):
that you give them the strength,the knowledge, the wisdom, the
courage and the power to forgive.And Jesus name, we pray Amen Amen.
Man. So you know this one, this one, this one here
was a rough one for me.You know, man, I got to
you know, I got to seethings in a different light. And now
(58:45):
I appreciate h Yurroshima for bringing whatGod put on your heart on forgiveness of
this segment too. You know thisthis was good. You know, there's
your ada, girl, that's whatyou want to That's what you got there
because it opened up something and meand I hope it opened up something to
(59:06):
you guys out there that are listening, because it's well needed. It's needed
for not for that other person,but for your life, for your life
so you can move forward in thethings of what God wants you to have.
So uh no, nothing further fromme any any words. You got
to save Hima. Um No.I just want to let everybody know they
(59:30):
can catch us. Follow us onFacebook at the Hourglass with Bruce and Rashima.
That's me do Yeah, it's checkus out and we'll be uploading episodes
and more. More things are coming, so stay tuned. Hey man,
it's about to be fire up atthis boy for real, for real.
So thank you guys for hanging outwith us again. We hope to be
(59:53):
able to service you through the workof the Lord. May peace and blessing
be upon you. We love you. Ending the Hourglass. The FCB Radio
Network first class broadcasting worldwide.