May 18, 2025 • 15 mins
Beyond Infographics
Tears are more than just drops of emotion—they’re a powerful biological and psychological signal. In this episode, we dive into why we cry, exploring the neuroscience behind tear production, the different types of tears, and the emotional and social roles crying plays in our lives. From grief and frustration to joy and empathy, we unpack what tears reveal about the human experience—and why they might be one of our most misunderstood behaviors.
Tears are more than just drops of emotion—they’re a powerful biological and psychological signal. In this episode, we dive into why we cry, exploring the neuroscience behind tear production, the different types of tears, and the emotional and social roles crying plays in our lives. From grief and frustration to joy and empathy, we unpack what tears reveal about the human experience—and why they might be one of our most misunderstood behaviors.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Welcome to beyond infographics. Today we're diving deep into something well,
pretty universal, but maybe something we don't think about too much. Tears.
We're really going beyond the surface level today. We want
to explore what they're actually made of, why we produce them,
and you know, what they might tell us about ourselves,
our biology, our feelings, even how we connect with others.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
It's surprisingly complex stuff.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Exactly, So forget the simple diagrams. Think of this as
a journey through the science, the emotion, even the culture
around crying. We've gathered some fascinating insights.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Yeah, there are definitely some surprises in there.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
Get ready for some aha moments, hopefully as we unpack
this seemingly simple thing.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
Okay, so where do we start composition?
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Maybe, yeah, let's do that, because when you think tears,
you just think salty water.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Yeah, but it's actually way more than that. Tears are
quite a sophisticated fluid. They've got electrolytes, of course, but
also different proteins lipids. Those are fats and musins, musins
like nucut sort of. Yeah, it all comes together to
form these really important layers on the surface of your eye.
It's not just a drop of water.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
It's structured layers, okay, and these layers do different things exactly.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
They keep the eye healthy, lubricated, protected. It's a pretty
complex system.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
Right, And I think you mentioned before we started there
isn't just one kind of tear.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
No, that's one of the really fascinating parts. We actually
make three different types, basil reflex and emotional tears.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Basil reflex, emotional.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
And the amazing thing is they're chemical makeup. It's slightly
different for each one. It's like they're tailored for the
job they need to do.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Okay, let's break those down. Basil tears, what are they for?
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Basil tears are your everyday tears. Your eyes are producing
them constantly all day long.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
You don't even notice them, right.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
They're there to lubricate and nourish the cornea, the front
part of your eye. Think of them like like constant maintenance,
keeping everything smooth and clear, washing away tiny bits of dust.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
So they're the baseline. What's in them? Is it just
the water and electrolytes.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
Well, water and electrolytes are key, but also that muse
and we mentioned for even spreading lipids to stop them
evaporating too. Quickly, and importantly, stuff like lysizyme and.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Lactoferrin, which sound like defenders.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
They are. They're antibacterial proteins helping to fight off potential infections.
There's also glucose urea, sodium potassium. It's a whole cocktail
keeping your eye healthy.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
Wow, okay, so they're the quiet protectors. Yeah, then reflex tears.
I think I know these ones.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
Yeah, you definitely do. These are the ones that gush
out when something irritates your eye.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Chopping onions that's a classic one, or getting dust in
your eye.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Exactly, or smoke, strong perfumes, even tear gas. Unfortunately, it's
your eye's emergency flush system.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
How does that get triggered?
Speaker 2 (02:58):
There are these tiny sensors TRP channels in the ophthalmic nerve,
the nerve for your eye. Irritants activate them and boom.
The tear ducts open the floodgates.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
And is the recipe different from basal tears.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
It's similar, but the volume is much higher obviously, and
they tend to have higher levels of certain proteins like
tear lipicalin maybe to help deal with the irritant. The
main job is just washing things out fast, makes sense.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Lubrication, defense, emergency flesh. So that leads emotional tears the
ones we usually mean when we talk about.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
Crying, right, The tears linked to strong feelings stress, sadness, grief,
even intense joy or relief, sometimes anger or frustration.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
And these are chemically different.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
Again, Yes, and this is where it gets really intriguing.
From a biological standpoint, emotional tears have been found to
contain higher concentrations of certain things compared to basal or
reflex tears likewise. Well, for one, protein based hormones, things
like prolactin and adrenocordicotropic hormone ACTCH, which is a stress hormone.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
So crying might literally be releasing stress hormones from your body.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
That's one of the leading theories. Yeah, and get this,
They also contain higher levels of lucine and kephalin, which
is it's an endorphin, a natural painkiller produced by the body.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
Wow, So emotional tears carry stress signals and potentially a
natural soother.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
It strongly suggests a role in emotional regulation, in helping
the body kind of rebalance itself after a strong emotional surge.
It's not just symbolic. There's biochemistry happening.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
That's fascinating. And you mentioned neurotransmitters too, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
Things like acetylcholine, adrenaline, neu adrenaline there and there too.
Linking the tears directly to the autonomic nervous system, which
controls our fight or flight responses and other automatic emmertional reactions.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
It's like our body is trying to physically wash away
the stress, or at least signal that it's happening. This
leads to the big question, then, why do we try emotionally?
It's not always obvious. You mentioned even happy news can
do it.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
That's right. It brings us into the realm of evolutionary
psychol One really compelling idea is that emotional crying is
linked to a feeling of perceived helplessness.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Helplessness even when you're happy.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Think about overwhelming joy like winning the lottery or seeing
a loved one after years, there can be this underlying
sense of this is too big. I can't quite process it.
I'm overwhelmed, a sort of temporary helplessness in the face
of massive emotion.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Okay, I can see that it's not just about negative
feelings exactly.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
And then there's the evolutionary signaling aspect. Consider what crying
does physically. It blurs your vision.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Right, makes it hard to see, hard to fight or
run precisely.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
So one theory is that by handicapping you slightly blurring
your vision, crying evolved as a signal. It could signal
appeasement like I'm not a threat, I'm vulnerable.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Ah okay, a way to de escalate potential conflict in
early human groups.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
Potentially, Yes, Or it could signal a need for help,
for comfort, for attachment. It's a very visible sign of vulnerability.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
So it's so elicit sympathy and aid from others.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
That's a major part of it. Yes, it's a powerful
social signal that can strengthen bonds and indicate shared emotional states. Atachments,
it says I need support or I share your feeling.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
That makes a lot of sense, and its social species
like ours. Now, how does this change as we grow up?
Do babies cry for the same reasons adults do? Well?
Speaker 2 (06:20):
Babies cry primarily to signal basic needs hunger, discomfort, pain, meeting, closeness.
The frequency of crying actually tends to decrease as we
get older, peaking in infancy and then dropping off until adolescence.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Okay, so we cry less often overall as.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Adults generally, Yes, But interestingly, the meaningly attached to tears
compared to just say, shouting or vocal sounds, seems to
become more significant as we age, especially for conveying deep emotion.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
A single tear can say a lot more for an.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
Adult exactly, and the triggers change too. Physical pain is
a huge trigger for kids.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Right, definitely, scrape knees, bumps, that sort of thing.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
But for adults, while pain can still make us cry,
it's often less likely to trigger those deep emotional tears
compared to say, feelings of loss, grief, or powerlessness. Those
remain powerful triggers throughout life.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
And what about empathy? When do we start crying for others?
Speaker 2 (07:12):
Ah? That's a crucial development. As kids develop empathy the
ability to understand and share the feelings of another and
what psychologists call theory of mind.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
Understanding that other people have their own thoughts and feelings.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Right, as those abilities develop, we start to cry not
just for our own pain or frustration, but when we
see or understand someone else's suffering. It moves beyond purely
egocentric reasons.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
A big step in social emotional development. Now, let's talk
about something many people notice differences between individuals and maybe
between genders, in crying. Is it true that women cry
more than men?
Speaker 2 (07:49):
The data, especially from Western cultures, generally shows that adult
women report crying more often than adult men report.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
So maybe there's a reporting bias.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
That's always a possibility in self reported studies. Yeah, but
the consistency across studies suggests there probably is a difference
in frequency on average. However, the reasons can be different too,
which is important. Ye. Also, some research suggests women may
cry more often in situations involving conflict or perceived criticism,
while men might report crying relatively more often in response
to positive events like triumphs or moments of connection, or
(08:21):
sometimes related to loss.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
Oh. Interesting, So it's not just about.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
Sadness, not entirely, And when it comes to really profound
experiences like bereavement or relationship breakups, those big losses, the
gender differences in crying frequency tend to be much smaller.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
So deep grief hits everyone similarly.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
It seems. So it highlights that it's really complex. It's
not just biology, it's personality, culture, how we're raised.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
What other factors influence how much someone cries?
Speaker 2 (08:48):
Oh, quite a few. Personality is a big one. People
hire in neuroticism or hire in empathy tend to cry
more often.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
That makes sense.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
Attachment style matters too. People with a more dismissive attachment
style who tend to downplay emotions and relationships often report
crying less. Then there's mental health status depression or anxiety
can affect crying patterns. Culture plays a massive role in
how acceptable crying is, especially for men. Socialization, what we
learn about expressing emotions as kids, are current relationships, past trauma.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
It's a huge web of influences.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
Yeah, and even temporary things being sleep deprived, feeling stressed
under the weather, all that can lower your threshold for tears.
There's also some thought that hormonal differences like testosterone levels
in men might contribute to a higher crying threshold biologically.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
So biology and environment are constantly interacting.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
Absolutely and learned control is huge. We learn consciously or unconsciously,
when and where it's okay to cry.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
Speaking of cultural expectations, especially around men crying. That poetry
collection you mentioned A Boy's Tears on Earth's Tongue, hmm,
it sounds like it tackles this head on.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
It really does. The review highlights how the poems explore
the frigility and a mo emotional depth of boyhood that
society often doesn't want to acknowledge.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
That title alone is quite evocative, a boy's tears on
Earth's tongue, like they're lost or absorbed without notice exactly.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
It challenges those stereotypes that demand boys be stoic, tough,
suppress everything. The review talks about boys being cast as
muted actors in their own emotional.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Lives, forbidden from showing vulnerability.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
Right, and the poet questions all that. Looking at coming
of age individuality, the review mentions this beautiful phrase, the
inequality of the fingers, meaning how unique everyone is.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
So the poems try to give voice to those suppressed feelings.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
That's the aim, yes to make the world pay attention
to the inner lives, the sorrows and experiences of the
boy child. As the reviewer puts it, it defines the
taste of tears on the lips of sorrow. It's powerful
stuff about the pressure not to cry.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
It sounds incredibly moving, and it connects to this wider
idea about how we perceive crying in society, is it
always seen negatively? What about say, crying during a sad movie.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
That's an interesting one. Some people feel embarrassed, but there's
an argument that letting yourself cry during a movie or
reading a sad book can actually be well kind of
healthy healthy. The idea is it helps keep your emotional
circuits active and responsive, like a safe way to exercise
empathy and process feelings without real world consequences. It might
(11:25):
even make you more attune to your own emotions in daily.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
Life, like emotional flexibility training something like that.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
Yeah, and just showing emotion, even in that context, can
sometimes feel like a small act of pushing back against
rigid expectations, especially around gender.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
That's a nice way to put it. What about in
more serious settings like healthcare, how do doctors and nurses
react to patients crying?
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Generally, studies suggest attitudes among medical professionals are thankfully pretty
positive and supportive. They see it as a valid expression
of distress or fear.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
That's good to hear.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
There can be some differences. Nurses, perhaps because of the
nature of their role, sometimes report offering more physical comfort,
like holding a hand makes sense. Interestingly, some studies found
that medical students might be slightly less supportive initially than
more experienced professionals. Maybe that empathy and comfort level develops
more with time and practice.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
Experience probably makes a difference in knowing how to respond effectively.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
It likely does, And of course context is everything. How
people react to tears depends hugely on who is crying,
why they're crying, who's watching, and whether the tears seem
appropriate for the situation.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
It's not as simple thumbs up or thumbs.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
Down, not at all, and perceptions are changing. We are
seeing more public figures men included politicians, athletes crying in
the media. That visibility might be slowly shifting norms around
male emotional expression.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
Yeah, maybe making it slightly more acceptable. Now you mentioned
another perspective, more philosophical one from Jacques Derrida about the
taste of tears.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
Yes, it's from an essay where he reflects on losing
a close friend. It's a really profound take. He connects
the very act of having a friend with the knowledge
that loss and therefore tears are almost inevitable.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
Wow, so friendship itself contains the seed of future tears.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
That's the implication. To have a friend is to know
somewhere deep down that one of you will likely mourn
the other. Crying for Dereta is linked to this active
memory of still seeing or feeling the presence of someone
who isn't there anymore.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
That's incredibly poignant.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
He also talks about this idea of not really tasting
your own tear. It's a subtle point, but it suggests
the focus shouldn't be on your own feeling of sadness,
like self pity, but on the other person, the one
who is lost.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
So the tear originates from your connection to.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
Them, exactly, the connection to the other, the friend, the
living being, that's the source. He argues that morning is necessary,
it's human, but we shouldn't develop a taste for mourning,
meaning we shouldn't linger in or almost cultivate sorrow for
its own sake.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
Navigate grief through the connection, not getting lost in the
grief itself.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
Precisely, every tier in this view is fundamentally about that
relationship that bond with another, that really.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
Has another layer entirely. It takes us from biochemistry right
through to philosophy. So as we start to wrap up
this deep ties, it's clear that tears are so much
more than just water leaking from our eyes.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
Absolutely, we've seen this incredible interplay of biology, psychology, evolution,
social dynamics, culture, even.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
Philosophy, from the specific hormones and emotional tears to the
way society shapes our responses. There's just so much to
learn by paying attention to crying. If you listening found
this exploration thought provoking, maybe consider giving Beyond Infographics a
five star rating. It genuinely helps other people find these conversations.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
Yeah, really does. And remember you can always check out
our website for more information on this topic and others
we've explored. The link is right there in the description.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
We really encourage you to think about your own experiences
with tears through some of these lenses we've disc us today.
What part of this stood out most to you.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
It's definitely something to ponder.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
And maybe here's a final thought to leave you with.
If tears really do carry these biochemical traces of our emotions,
our stress, our connections, what untold stories might each single
tear drop hold a powerful thought, something to think about
until our next deep dive
Welcome to beyond infographics. Today we're diving deep into something well,
pretty universal, but maybe something we don't think about too much. Tears.
We're really going beyond the surface level today. We want
to explore what they're actually made of, why we produce them,
and you know, what they might tell us about ourselves,
our biology, our feelings, even how we connect with others.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
It's surprisingly complex stuff.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Exactly, So forget the simple diagrams. Think of this as
a journey through the science, the emotion, even the culture
around crying. We've gathered some fascinating insights.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Yeah, there are definitely some surprises in there.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
Get ready for some aha moments, hopefully as we unpack
this seemingly simple thing.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
Okay, so where do we start composition?
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Maybe, yeah, let's do that, because when you think tears,
you just think salty water.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Yeah, but it's actually way more than that. Tears are
quite a sophisticated fluid. They've got electrolytes, of course, but
also different proteins lipids. Those are fats and musins, musins
like nucut sort of. Yeah, it all comes together to
form these really important layers on the surface of your eye.
It's not just a drop of water.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
It's structured layers, okay, and these layers do different things exactly.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
They keep the eye healthy, lubricated, protected. It's a pretty
complex system.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
Right, And I think you mentioned before we started there
isn't just one kind of tear.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
No, that's one of the really fascinating parts. We actually
make three different types, basil reflex and emotional tears.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Basil reflex, emotional.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
And the amazing thing is they're chemical makeup. It's slightly
different for each one. It's like they're tailored for the
job they need to do.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Okay, let's break those down. Basil tears, what are they for?
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Basil tears are your everyday tears. Your eyes are producing
them constantly all day long.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
You don't even notice them, right.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
They're there to lubricate and nourish the cornea, the front
part of your eye. Think of them like like constant maintenance,
keeping everything smooth and clear, washing away tiny bits of dust.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
So they're the baseline. What's in them? Is it just
the water and electrolytes.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
Well, water and electrolytes are key, but also that muse
and we mentioned for even spreading lipids to stop them
evaporating too. Quickly, and importantly, stuff like lysizyme and.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Lactoferrin, which sound like defenders.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
They are. They're antibacterial proteins helping to fight off potential infections.
There's also glucose urea, sodium potassium. It's a whole cocktail
keeping your eye healthy.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
Wow, okay, so they're the quiet protectors. Yeah, then reflex tears.
I think I know these ones.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
Yeah, you definitely do. These are the ones that gush
out when something irritates your eye.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Chopping onions that's a classic one, or getting dust in
your eye.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Exactly, or smoke, strong perfumes, even tear gas. Unfortunately, it's
your eye's emergency flush system.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
How does that get triggered?
Speaker 2 (02:58):
There are these tiny sensors TRP channels in the ophthalmic nerve,
the nerve for your eye. Irritants activate them and boom.
The tear ducts open the floodgates.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
And is the recipe different from basal tears.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
It's similar, but the volume is much higher obviously, and
they tend to have higher levels of certain proteins like
tear lipicalin maybe to help deal with the irritant. The
main job is just washing things out fast, makes sense.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Lubrication, defense, emergency flesh. So that leads emotional tears the
ones we usually mean when we talk about.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
Crying, right, The tears linked to strong feelings stress, sadness, grief,
even intense joy or relief, sometimes anger or frustration.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
And these are chemically different.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
Again, Yes, and this is where it gets really intriguing.
From a biological standpoint, emotional tears have been found to
contain higher concentrations of certain things compared to basal or
reflex tears likewise. Well, for one, protein based hormones, things
like prolactin and adrenocordicotropic hormone ACTCH, which is a stress hormone.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
So crying might literally be releasing stress hormones from your body.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
That's one of the leading theories. Yeah, and get this,
They also contain higher levels of lucine and kephalin, which
is it's an endorphin, a natural painkiller produced by the body.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
Wow, So emotional tears carry stress signals and potentially a
natural soother.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
It strongly suggests a role in emotional regulation, in helping
the body kind of rebalance itself after a strong emotional surge.
It's not just symbolic. There's biochemistry happening.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
That's fascinating. And you mentioned neurotransmitters too, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
Things like acetylcholine, adrenaline, neu adrenaline there and there too.
Linking the tears directly to the autonomic nervous system, which
controls our fight or flight responses and other automatic emmertional reactions.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
It's like our body is trying to physically wash away
the stress, or at least signal that it's happening. This
leads to the big question, then, why do we try emotionally?
It's not always obvious. You mentioned even happy news can
do it.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
That's right. It brings us into the realm of evolutionary
psychol One really compelling idea is that emotional crying is
linked to a feeling of perceived helplessness.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Helplessness even when you're happy.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Think about overwhelming joy like winning the lottery or seeing
a loved one after years, there can be this underlying
sense of this is too big. I can't quite process it.
I'm overwhelmed, a sort of temporary helplessness in the face
of massive emotion.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Okay, I can see that it's not just about negative
feelings exactly.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
And then there's the evolutionary signaling aspect. Consider what crying
does physically. It blurs your vision.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Right, makes it hard to see, hard to fight or
run precisely.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
So one theory is that by handicapping you slightly blurring
your vision, crying evolved as a signal. It could signal
appeasement like I'm not a threat, I'm vulnerable.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Ah okay, a way to de escalate potential conflict in
early human groups.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
Potentially, Yes, Or it could signal a need for help,
for comfort, for attachment. It's a very visible sign of vulnerability.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
So it's so elicit sympathy and aid from others.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
That's a major part of it. Yes, it's a powerful
social signal that can strengthen bonds and indicate shared emotional states. Atachments,
it says I need support or I share your feeling.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
That makes a lot of sense, and its social species
like ours. Now, how does this change as we grow up?
Do babies cry for the same reasons adults do? Well?
Speaker 2 (06:20):
Babies cry primarily to signal basic needs hunger, discomfort, pain, meeting, closeness.
The frequency of crying actually tends to decrease as we
get older, peaking in infancy and then dropping off until adolescence.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Okay, so we cry less often overall as.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Adults generally, Yes, But interestingly, the meaningly attached to tears
compared to just say, shouting or vocal sounds, seems to
become more significant as we age, especially for conveying deep emotion.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
A single tear can say a lot more for an.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
Adult exactly, and the triggers change too. Physical pain is
a huge trigger for kids.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Right, definitely, scrape knees, bumps, that sort of thing.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
But for adults, while pain can still make us cry,
it's often less likely to trigger those deep emotional tears
compared to say, feelings of loss, grief, or powerlessness. Those
remain powerful triggers throughout life.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
And what about empathy? When do we start crying for others?
Speaker 2 (07:12):
Ah? That's a crucial development. As kids develop empathy the
ability to understand and share the feelings of another and
what psychologists call theory of mind.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
Understanding that other people have their own thoughts and feelings.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Right, as those abilities develop, we start to cry not
just for our own pain or frustration, but when we
see or understand someone else's suffering. It moves beyond purely
egocentric reasons.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
A big step in social emotional development. Now, let's talk
about something many people notice differences between individuals and maybe
between genders, in crying. Is it true that women cry
more than men?
Speaker 2 (07:49):
The data, especially from Western cultures, generally shows that adult
women report crying more often than adult men report.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
So maybe there's a reporting bias.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
That's always a possibility in self reported studies. Yeah, but
the consistency across studies suggests there probably is a difference
in frequency on average. However, the reasons can be different too,
which is important. Ye. Also, some research suggests women may
cry more often in situations involving conflict or perceived criticism,
while men might report crying relatively more often in response
to positive events like triumphs or moments of connection, or
(08:21):
sometimes related to loss.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
Oh. Interesting, So it's not just about.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
Sadness, not entirely, And when it comes to really profound
experiences like bereavement or relationship breakups, those big losses, the
gender differences in crying frequency tend to be much smaller.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
So deep grief hits everyone similarly.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
It seems. So it highlights that it's really complex. It's
not just biology, it's personality, culture, how we're raised.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
What other factors influence how much someone cries?
Speaker 2 (08:48):
Oh, quite a few. Personality is a big one. People
hire in neuroticism or hire in empathy tend to cry
more often.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
That makes sense.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
Attachment style matters too. People with a more dismissive attachment
style who tend to downplay emotions and relationships often report
crying less. Then there's mental health status depression or anxiety
can affect crying patterns. Culture plays a massive role in
how acceptable crying is, especially for men. Socialization, what we
learn about expressing emotions as kids, are current relationships, past trauma.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
It's a huge web of influences.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
Yeah, and even temporary things being sleep deprived, feeling stressed
under the weather, all that can lower your threshold for tears.
There's also some thought that hormonal differences like testosterone levels
in men might contribute to a higher crying threshold biologically.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
So biology and environment are constantly interacting.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
Absolutely and learned control is huge. We learn consciously or unconsciously,
when and where it's okay to cry.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
Speaking of cultural expectations, especially around men crying. That poetry
collection you mentioned A Boy's Tears on Earth's Tongue, hmm,
it sounds like it tackles this head on.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
It really does. The review highlights how the poems explore
the frigility and a mo emotional depth of boyhood that
society often doesn't want to acknowledge.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
That title alone is quite evocative, a boy's tears on
Earth's tongue, like they're lost or absorbed without notice exactly.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
It challenges those stereotypes that demand boys be stoic, tough,
suppress everything. The review talks about boys being cast as
muted actors in their own emotional.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Lives, forbidden from showing vulnerability.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
Right, and the poet questions all that. Looking at coming
of age individuality, the review mentions this beautiful phrase, the
inequality of the fingers, meaning how unique everyone is.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
So the poems try to give voice to those suppressed feelings.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
That's the aim, yes to make the world pay attention
to the inner lives, the sorrows and experiences of the
boy child. As the reviewer puts it, it defines the
taste of tears on the lips of sorrow. It's powerful
stuff about the pressure not to cry.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
It sounds incredibly moving, and it connects to this wider
idea about how we perceive crying in society, is it
always seen negatively? What about say, crying during a sad movie.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
That's an interesting one. Some people feel embarrassed, but there's
an argument that letting yourself cry during a movie or
reading a sad book can actually be well kind of
healthy healthy. The idea is it helps keep your emotional
circuits active and responsive, like a safe way to exercise
empathy and process feelings without real world consequences. It might
(11:25):
even make you more attune to your own emotions in daily.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
Life, like emotional flexibility training something like that.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
Yeah, and just showing emotion, even in that context, can
sometimes feel like a small act of pushing back against
rigid expectations, especially around gender.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
That's a nice way to put it. What about in
more serious settings like healthcare, how do doctors and nurses
react to patients crying?
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Generally, studies suggest attitudes among medical professionals are thankfully pretty
positive and supportive. They see it as a valid expression
of distress or fear.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
That's good to hear.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
There can be some differences. Nurses, perhaps because of the
nature of their role, sometimes report offering more physical comfort,
like holding a hand makes sense. Interestingly, some studies found
that medical students might be slightly less supportive initially than
more experienced professionals. Maybe that empathy and comfort level develops
more with time and practice.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
Experience probably makes a difference in knowing how to respond effectively.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
It likely does, And of course context is everything. How
people react to tears depends hugely on who is crying,
why they're crying, who's watching, and whether the tears seem
appropriate for the situation.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
It's not as simple thumbs up or thumbs.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
Down, not at all, and perceptions are changing. We are
seeing more public figures men included politicians, athletes crying in
the media. That visibility might be slowly shifting norms around
male emotional expression.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
Yeah, maybe making it slightly more acceptable. Now you mentioned
another perspective, more philosophical one from Jacques Derrida about the
taste of tears.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
Yes, it's from an essay where he reflects on losing
a close friend. It's a really profound take. He connects
the very act of having a friend with the knowledge
that loss and therefore tears are almost inevitable.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
Wow, so friendship itself contains the seed of future tears.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
That's the implication. To have a friend is to know
somewhere deep down that one of you will likely mourn
the other. Crying for Dereta is linked to this active
memory of still seeing or feeling the presence of someone
who isn't there anymore.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
That's incredibly poignant.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
He also talks about this idea of not really tasting
your own tear. It's a subtle point, but it suggests
the focus shouldn't be on your own feeling of sadness,
like self pity, but on the other person, the one
who is lost.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
So the tear originates from your connection to.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
Them, exactly, the connection to the other, the friend, the
living being, that's the source. He argues that morning is necessary,
it's human, but we shouldn't develop a taste for mourning,
meaning we shouldn't linger in or almost cultivate sorrow for
its own sake.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
Navigate grief through the connection, not getting lost in the
grief itself.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
Precisely, every tier in this view is fundamentally about that
relationship that bond with another, that really.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
Has another layer entirely. It takes us from biochemistry right
through to philosophy. So as we start to wrap up
this deep ties, it's clear that tears are so much
more than just water leaking from our eyes.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
Absolutely, we've seen this incredible interplay of biology, psychology, evolution,
social dynamics, culture, even.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
Philosophy, from the specific hormones and emotional tears to the
way society shapes our responses. There's just so much to
learn by paying attention to crying. If you listening found
this exploration thought provoking, maybe consider giving Beyond Infographics a
five star rating. It genuinely helps other people find these conversations.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
Yeah, really does. And remember you can always check out
our website for more information on this topic and others
we've explored. The link is right there in the description.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
We really encourage you to think about your own experiences
with tears through some of these lenses we've disc us today.
What part of this stood out most to you.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
It's definitely something to ponder.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
And maybe here's a final thought to leave you with.
If tears really do carry these biochemical traces of our emotions,
our stress, our connections, what untold stories might each single
tear drop hold a powerful thought, something to think about
until our next deep dive
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