October 8, 2025 • 50 mins
09 - Part 9. The Intrusion of Jimmy by P.G. Wodehouse.
The action begins with playboy bachelor Jimmy Pitt in New York; having fallen in love on a transatlantic liner, he befriends a small-time burglar and breaks into a police captain's house as a result of a bet. The cast of characters head to England, and from there on it is a typically Wodehousian romantic farce, set at the stately Dreever Castle, overflowing with imposters, detectives, crooks, scheming lovers and conniving aunts.
The action begins with playboy bachelor Jimmy Pitt in New York; having fallen in love on a transatlantic liner, he befriends a small-time burglar and breaks into a police captain's house as a result of a bet. The cast of characters head to England, and from there on it is a typically Wodehousian romantic farce, set at the stately Dreever Castle, overflowing with imposters, detectives, crooks, scheming lovers and conniving aunts.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Part nine of The Intrusion of Jimmy by P. G. Whitehouse.
This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. The Intrusion
of Jimmy, Chapter twenty five explanations. Jimmy, like his Lordship,
had been trapped at the beginning of the Duelog and
had not been able to get away till it was
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nearly over. He had been introduced by Lady Julia to
an elderly and adhesive baronet who had recently spent ten
days in New York, and escape had not been won
without a struggle. The baronet, on his return to England,
had published a book entitled Modern America and Its People,
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and it was with regard to the opinions expressed in
this volume that he invited Jimmy's views. He had no
wish to see the Duolog, and it was only after
the loss of much precious time that Jimmy was enabled
to tear himself away on the plea of having to dress.
He cured the authority on Modern America and its People
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freely as he ran upstairs. While the duolog was in progress,
there had been no chance of Sir Thomas taking it
into his head to visit his dressing room he had been,
as his valet detective had observed to mister Gaylor, too
busy jollying along the swells. It would be the work
of a few moments only to restore the necklace to
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its place. But for the tenacity of the elderly baronet,
the thing would have been done by this time. Now, however,
there was no knowing what might happen. Anybody might come
along the passage and see him. He had one point
in his favor. There was no likelihood of the jewels
being required by their owner till the conclusion of the theatricals.
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The part that Lady Julia had been persuaded by Chartres
to play mercifully contain no scope for the display of gems.
Before going down to dinner, Jimmy had locked the necklace
in a drawer. It was still there, Spike having been able,
apparently to resist the temptation of recapturing it. Jimmy took
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it and went into the corridor. He looked up and down.
There was nobody about. He shut his door and walked
quickly in the direction of the dressing room. He had
provided himself with an electric pocket torch equipped with a
reflector which he was in the habit of carrying when
on his travels. Once inside, having closed the door, he
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set this aglow and looked about him. Spike had given
him minute directions as to the position of the jewel box.
He found it without difficulty. To his untrained eye, it
seemed tolerably massive and impregnable, but Spike had evidently known
how to open it without much difficulty. The lid was shut,
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but it came up without an effort when he tried
to raise it, and he saw that the lock had
been broken. Sps coming on. He said. He was dangling
the necklace over the box preparatory to dropping it in.
When there was a quick rustle at the other side
of the room, the curtain was plucked aside, and Molly
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came out. Jimmy, she cried. Jimmy's nerves were always in
pretty good order, but at the sight of this apparition
he visibly jumped. Great Scott, he said. The curtain again
became agitated by some unseen force violently this time, and
from its depths a plaintive voice made itself heard. Dash
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it all, said the voice, I've stuck. There was another upheaval,
and his lordship emerged, his yellow locks ruffled and upstanding
his face. Crimson calt my head in a coat or something,
he explained at large hullo Pitt pressed rigidly against the wall.
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Molly had listened with growing astonishment to the movement on
the other side of the curtain. Her mystification deepened every moment.
It seemed to her that the room was still in darkness.
She could hear the sound of breathing, and then the
light of the torch caught her eye. Who could this
be and why had he not switched on the regular
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room lights. She strained her ears to catch a sound.
For a while, she heard nothing except the soft breathing.
Then came a voice that she knew well. And abandoning
her hiding place, she came out into the room and
found Jimmy standing with the torch in his hand over
some dark object in the corner of the room. It
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was a full minute after Jimmy's first exclamation of surprise
before either of them spoke again. The light of the
torch hurt Molly's eyes. She put up a hand to
shade them. It seemed to her that they had been
standing like this for years. Jimmy had not moved. There
was something in his attitude that filled Molly with a
vague fear. In the shadow behind the torch, he looked
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shapeless and inhuman. You're hurting my eyes, she said at last,
I'm sorry, said Jimmy. I didn't think. Is that better?
He turned the light from her face. Something in his
voice and the apologetic haste with which he moved the
torch seemed to relax the strain of the situation. The
feeling of stunned surprise began to leave her. She found
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herself thinking coherently again. The relief was but momentary. Why
was Jimmy in the room at that time? Why had
he a torch? What had he been doing? The question
shot from her brain like sparks from an anvil. The
darkness began to tear at her nerves. She felt along
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the wall for the switch and flooded the whole room
with light. Jimmy laid down the torch and stood for
a moment undecided. He had concealed the necklace behind him.
Now he brought it forward and dangled it silently before
the eyes of Molly and his lordship. Excellent, as were
his motives for being in that room with the necklace
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in his hand. He could not help feeling as he
met Molly's startled gaze, quite as guilty as if his
intentions had been altogether different. His Lordship, having by this
time pulled himself together to some extent, was the first
to speak. I say, you know what ho he observed,
without emotion, what Molly drew back? Jimmy, you were Oh
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you can't have been looks jolly like it, said his
lordship judicially. I wasn't, said Jimmy. I was putting them back,
putting them back, pit old Man, said his lordship solemnly.
That sounds a bit thin. Dreever old Man said, Jimmy,
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I know it does, but it's the truth. His Lordship's
manner became kindly. Now look here, pit old son, he said,
there's nothing to worry about. We're all paws here. You
can pit it straight to us. We won't give you away.
We be quiet, cried Molly. Jimmy. Her voice was strained.
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She spoke with an effort. She was suffering torments. The
words her father had said to her on the terrace
were pouring back into her mind. She seemed to hear
his voice, now cool and confident, warning her against Jimmy,
saying that he was crooked. There was a curious whirring
in her head. Everything in the room was growing large
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and misty. She heard Lord Dreaver begin to say something
that sounded as if some one were speaking at the
end of a telephone, and then she was aware that
Jimmy was holding her in his arms and calling to
Lord Dreever to bring water. When a girl goes like that,
said his lordship, with an insufferable air of omniscience. You
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want to cut her, Come along, said Jimmy. Are you
going to be a week getting that water? His lordship
proceeded to soak a sponge without further parley. But as
he carried his dripping burden across the room, Molly recovered.
She tried weakly to free herself. Jimmy helped her to
a chair. He had dropped the necklace on the floor,
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and Lord Dreaver nearly trod on it. What ho observed
his lordship picking it up, Go easy with the jewry
Jimmy was bending over Molly. Neither of them seemed to
be aware of his lordship's presence. Spenny was the sort
of person whose existence is apt to be forgotten. Jimmy
had a flash of intuition. For the first time, it
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had occurred to him that mister mc keechorn might have
hinted to Molly something of his own suspicions. Molly, dear,
he said, it isn't what you think. I can explain everything.
Do you feel better now? Can you listen? I can
explain everything. Peit old boy protested his lordship. You don't understand.
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We aren't going to give you away. We're all Jimmy
ignored him. Molly, listen. She sat up. Go on, Jimmy,
She said, I wasn't stealing the necklace. I was putting
it back. The man who came to the castle with me,
Spike Mullins, took it this afternoon and brought it to me.
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Spike Mullins, Molly remembered the name. He thinks I'm a crook,
a sort of raffles. It was my fault. I was
a fool. It all began that night in New York
when we met at your house. I had been to
the opening performance of a play called Love the Cracksman,
one of those burglar plays. Jolly good Show, interpolated his
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lordship chatterly. It was at the Circle over here. I
went twice. A friend of mine, a man named Mifflin,
had been playing the hero in it, and after the
show at the club, he started in talking about the
art of burglary. He'd been studying it, and I said
that anybody could burgle a house, And in another minute
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it somehow happened that I had made a bet that
I would do it that night. Heaven knows whether I
really meant to. But that same night, this man Mullins
broke into my flat and I caught him. We got
into conversation and I worked off on him a lot
of technical stuff I'd heard from this actor friend of mine,
and he jumped the conclusion that I was an expert.
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And then it suddenly occurred to me that it would
be a good joke on Mifflin if I went out
with Mullins and did break into a house. I wasn't
in the mood to think what a fool I was
at the time. Well, anyway, we went out, and well
that's how it all happened. And then I met Spike
in London, down and Out and brought him here. He
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looked at her anxiously. It did not need his lordship's
owlish expression of doubt to tell him how weak his
story must sound. He had felt it even as he
was telling it. He was bound to admit that if
ever a story rang false in every sentence, it was
this one pit old man, said his lordship, shaking his
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head more in sorrow than in anger. It won't do,
old top. What's the point of putting up an old
yawn like that? Don't you see? What I mean is
it's not as if we minded, Don't I keep telling
you we're all pass here. I've often thought what a
jolly good federald Raffles was, regular sportsman. I don't blame
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it Chappy for doing the gentleman burglar touch. Seems to
me it's a dashed spouting Molly turned on him, suddenly
cutting short his views on the ethics of gentlemanly theft
in a blaze of indigna. What do you mean? She cried?
Do you think I don't believe every word Jimmy has said?
His lordship jumped, Well, don't you know it seemed to
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me a bit thin? What I mean is he met
Molly's eye? Oh well, he concluded lamely. Molly turned to Jimmy, Jimmy,
of course I believe you. I believe every word. Molly,
his lordship looked on, marveling. The thought crossed his mind
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that he had lost the ideal wife, a girl who
would believe any old yarn a feller cared to if
it hadn't been for Katy. For a moment, he felt
almost sad. Jimmy and Molly were looking at each other
in silence. From the expression on their faces, his lordship
gathered that his existence had once more been forgotten. He
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saw her hold out her hands to Jimmy, and it
seemed to him that the time had come to look away.
It was embarrassing for a chap. He looked away. The
next moment the door opened and closed again, and she
had gone. He looked at Jimmy. Jimmy was still, apparently
unconscious of his presence. His lordship coughed pit old man
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Hullo said, Jimmy, coming out of his thoughts with a start,
you still hear by the way he eyed Lord Dreaver curiously.
I never thought of asking before, what on earth are
you doing here? Why were you behind the curtain? Were
you playing hide and seek? His lordship was not one
of those who invent circumstantial stories easily. On the spur
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of the moment, he searched rapidly for something that would
pass muster, then abandon the hopeless struggle. After all, why
not be frank. He still believed Jimmy to be of
the class of the hero of love the cracksman. There
would be no harm in confiding in him. He was
a good fellow, a kindred soul, and would sympathize. It's
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like this, he said, And having prefaced his narrative with
the sound remark that he had been a bit of
an ass, he gave Jimmy a summary of recent events.
What said, Jimmy, you taught Hargate Piquet. Why, my dear man,
he was playing Piquet like a professor when you were
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in short frocks. He's a wonder at it. His lordship started,
how's that? He said? You don't know him, do you?
I met him in New York at the Stroller's Club,
A pal of mine, an actor, this fellow Mifflin, I
mention just now put him up as a guest. He
coined money at Piquet, and there were some pretty useful
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players in the place too. I don't wonder you found
him a promising pupil, then then why dash it? Then
he's a ballysharpa. You're a genius at crisp description, said Jimmy.
You've got him summed up to Wright's first shot. I
sha'n't pay him a belly penny, of course, not if
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he makes any objection refer him to me. His Lordship's
relief was extreme. The more overpowering effects of the elixir
had passed away, and he saw now what he had
not seen in his more exuberant frame of mind, the
cloud of suspicion that must have hung over him when
the loss of the bank notes was discovered. He wiped
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his forehead. By jove, he said, that's something off my mind.
By George, I feel like a two year old. I say,
you're a dash of good sort. Pitt, you flatter me,
said Jimmy. I strive to please. I say, Pitt, that
yawn you told us just now, the bat and all
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that honesty. You don't mean to say that was true,
was it? I mean, by jove, I've got an idea.
We live in stirring times. Did you say your act
of POW's name was Mifflin? He broke off suddenly. Before
Jimmy could answer, Great Scott, he whispered, what's that, good Lord,
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somebody's coming. He dived behind the curtain like a rabbit.
The drapery had only just ceased to shake when the
door opened and Sir Thomas Blunt walked in Chapter twenty six,
stirring times for Sir Thomas. For a man whose intentions
toward the jewels and their owner were so innocent and
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even benevolent, Jimmy was in a singularly compromising position. It
would have been difficult, even under more favorable conditions, to
have explained to Sir Thomas's satisfaction his presence in the
dressing room. As things stood, it was even harder for
his Lordship's last action before seeking cover had been to
fling the necklace from him like a burning call. For
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the second time in ten minutes. It had fallen to
the carpet, and it was just as Jimmy straightened himself
after picking it up that Sir Thomas got a full
view of him. The Knight stood in the doorway, his
face expressing the most lively astonishment. His bulging eyes were
fixed upon the necklace in Jimmy's hand. Jimmy could see
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him struggling to find words to cope with so special
a situation, and felt rather sorry for him. Excitement of
this kind was bad for a short necked man of
Sir Thomas's type. With kindly tact, he endeavored to help
his host out. Good evening, he said, pleasantly. Sir Thomas stammered,
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he was gradually nearing speech. What what? What? What? He said?
Out with it, said Jimmy. What I knew a man
once in South Dakota who stammered, said Jimmy, he used
to chew dog biscuit while he was speaking. It cured him.
Besides its being nutritious, another way is to count ten
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while you're thinking of what to say, and then get
it out quick, you you bluggard. Jimmy placed the necklace
carefully on the dressing table. Then he turned to Sir
Thomas with his hands thrust into his pockets. Over the
Knight's head, he could see the folds of the curtain
quivering gently, as if stirred by some zephyr. Evidently, the
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drama of the situation was not lost on Hildebrand Spencer,
twelfth Earl of Driver, nor was it lost on Jimmy.
This was precisely the sort of situation that appealed to him.
He had his plan of action clearly mapped out. He
knew that it would be useless to tell the Knight
the true facts of the case. Sir Thomas was as
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deficient in simple faith as in Norman Blood. Though a
Londoner by birth, he had won at least of the
characteristic traits of the natives of Missouri. All appearances, this
was a tight corner, but Jimmy fancied that he saw
his way out of it. Meanwhile, the situation appealed to him.
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Curiously enough. It was almost identical with the big scene
in Act three of Love the Cracksman, in which Arthur
Mifflin had made such a hit as the debonair Burglar.
Jimmy proceeded to give his own idea of what the
rendering of a debonair burglar should be. Arthur Mifflin had
lighted a cigarette and had shot out smoke rings and repartee. Alternately,
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a cigarette would have been a great help here, but
Jimmy prepared to do his best without properties. So so
it's you, is it, said Sir Thomas, who told you thief? Low, thief?
Come now, protested, Jimmy, Why low? Just because you don't
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know me over here? Why scorn me? How do you know?
I haven't got a big American reputation? For all you
can tell, I may be Boston Billy or Sacramento Sam
or someone. Let us preserve the decency of debate. I
had my suspicions of you. I had my suspicions from
the first when I heard that my idiot of a
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nephew had made a casual friend in London. So this
is what you were. A thief who I don't mind
personally interrupted Jimmy. But I hope if ever you mix
with cracksmen, you won't go calling them thieves. They are
frightfully sensitive. You see, there's a world of difference between
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the two branches of the profession, and a good deal
of snobbish caste prejudice. Let us suppose that you were
an actor manager. How would you enjoy being called a
super You see the idea, don't you? You'd hurt their feelings. Now,
an ordinary thief would probably use violence in a case
like this, but violence except in extreme cases, and I
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hope this won't be one of them. Is contrary I
understand to cracksman's etiquette. On the other hand, Sir Thomas
candor compels me to add that I have you covered.
There was a pipe in the pocket of his coat.
He thrust the stem earnestly against the lining. Sir Thomas
eyed the protuberance apprehensively and turned a little pale. Jimmy
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was scowling ferociously. Arthur Mifflin's scowl in Act three had
been much admired. My gun, said Jimmy, is as you
see in my pocket. I always shoot from the pocket
in spite of the tailor's bills. The little fellow is
loaded and cocked. He's pointing straight at your diamond solitaire,
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that fatal spot. No one has ever been hit in
the diamond solitaire and survived. My finger is on the trigger,
so I should recommend you not touch that bell you
are looking at. There are other reasons why you shouldn't,
but those I will go into pre Sir Thomas's hand wavered.
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Do if you like, of course, said Jimmy, agreeably. It's
your own house. But I shouldn't. I am a dead
shot at a yard and a half. You wouldn't believe
the number of sitting haystacks. I've picked off at that distance.
I just can't miss. On second thoughts, I shan't fire
to kill you. Let us be humane on this joyful occasion.
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I shall just smash your knees, painful but not fatal.
He waggled the pipe suggestively. Sir Thomas blinched, his hand
fell to his side. Great, said Jimmy, after all, why
should you be in a hurry to break up this
very pleasant little meeting. I'm sure I'm not. Let us chat.
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How are the theatricals going? Was the duelog of success.
Wait till you see our show. Three of us knew
our lines. At dress rehearsal, Sir Thomas had backed away
from the bell, but the retreat was merely for the
convenience of the moment. He understood that it might be
injudicious to press the button just then, but he had
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recovered his composure by this time, and he saw that
ultimately the game must be his. His face resumed its
normal hue automatically, his hands began to move toward his
coat tails, his feet to spread themselves. Jimmy noted with
a smile. These signs of restored complacency. He hoped ere
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long to upset that complacency somewhat. Sir Thomas addressed himself
to making Jimmy's position clear to him. How may I ask,
he said? Do you propose to leave the castle? Won't
you let me have the automobile? Said Jimmy. But I
guess I shan't be leaving just yet, Sir Thomas laughed shortly. No,
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he said, no, I fancy not. I am with you there,
great mindines, said Jimmy. I shouldn't be surprised if we
thought alike on all sorts of subjects. Just think how
you came round to my views on ringing bells. But
what made you fancy that I intended to leave the castle?
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I should hardly have supposed that you would be anxious
to stay. On the contrary, it's the one place I
have been in in the last two years that I
have felt really satisfied with. Usually I want to move
on after a week, but I could stop here forever.
I am afraid, mister Pitt, by the way, and alias,
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of course, Jimmy shook his head. I fear not, he said.
If I had chosen an alias, it would have been Tresalian.
Or travillian, or something I call Pitt, A poor thing
in names. I once knew a man called Ronald chalesmore
lucky devil. Sir Thomas returned to the point on which
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he had been about to touch. I am afraid, mister Pitt,
He said, that you hardly realize your position. No, said Jimmy,
interested I find you in the act of stealing my
wife's necklace. Would there be any use in telling you
that I was not stealing it but putting it back?
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Sir Thomas raised his eyebrows in silence. No, said Jimmy,
I was afraid, not you were saying, I find you
in the act of stealing my wife's necklace. Proceeded Sir Thomas.
And because for the moment you succeed in postponing arrest
by threatening me with a revolver. An agitated look came
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into Jimmy's face. Great Scott, he cried, He felt hastily
in his pocket. Yes, he said, as I had begun
to fear, I owe you an apology, Sir Thomas. He
went on, with manly dignity, preceding the briar. I am
entirely to blame how the mistake arose I cannot imagine,
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but I find it isn't a revolver at all. Sir
Thomas's cheeks took on a richer tint of purple. He
glared dumbly at the pipe. In the excitement of the moments,
I guess began Jimmy, Sir Thomas interrupted. The recollection of
his needless panic rankled within him. You you, you count
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ten you what you propose to gain by this buffoonery.
I am at a loss. How can you say such
savage things, protested Jimmy. Not buffoonery, wit espree flow of soul,
such as circulates daily in the best society. Sir Thomas
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almost leaped toward the bell with his finger on it.
He turned to deliver a final speech. I believe you're insane,
he cried, But I'll have no more of it. I
have endured this foodery long enough. I'll john one moment,
said Jimmy. I said just now that there were reasons
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besides the revol well pipe why you should not ring
that bell. One of them is that all the servants
will be in their places in the audience so that
there won't be any one to answer it. But that's
not the most convincing reason. Will you listen to one
more before getting busy? I see your game. Don't imagine
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for a moment that you can trick me. Nothing could
be further You fancy you can gain time by talking
and find some way to escape. But I don't want
to escape. Don't you realize that in about ten minutes
I am due to play an important part in a
great drama on the stage. I'll keep you here, I
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tell you you'll leave this room, said Sir Thomas grandly.
Over my body steeple chasing in the home, murmured Jimmy,
No more dull evenings. But listen, do this. I won't
keep you a minute. And if you want to push
that bell after I'm through, you may push it six
inches into the wall if you like, well, said Sir
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Thomas shortly. Would you like me to lead gently up
to what I want to say, gradually preparing you for
the reception of the news, or shall I the night
took out his watch. I shall give you one minute,
he said, heavens, I must hustle. How many seconds have
I got? Now? If you have anything to say, say
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it very well, then, said Jimmy. It's only this that
necklace is a fraud. The diamonds aren't diamonds at all.
They're paste Chapter twenty seven, a Declaration of Independence. If
Jimmy had entertained any doubts concerning the effectiveness of this disclosure,
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they would have vanished at the sight of the other's face.
Just as the rich hues of a sunset pale slowly
into an almost imperceptible green, so did the purple of
Sir Thomas's cheeks become in stages, first a dull red,
then pink, and finally take on a uniform pallor. His
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mouth hung open, his attitude of righteous defiance had crumpled.
Unsuspected creases appeared in his clothes. He had the appearance
of one who has been caught in the machinery. Jimmy
was a little puzzled. He had expected to check the enemy,
to bring him to reason, but not to demolish him
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in this way. There was something in this which he
did not understand. When Spike had handed him the stones
and his trained eye, after a moment's searching examination, had
made him suspicious, and when finally a simple test had
proved his suspicions correct, he was comfortably aware that though
found with the necklace on his person, he had knowledge which,
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communicated to Sir Thomas, would serve him well. He knew
that Lady Julia was not the sort of lady who
would bear calmly the announcement that her treasured rope of
diamonds was a fraud. He knew enough of her to
know that she would demand another necklace and see that
she got it, And that Sir Thomas was not one
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of those generous and expansive natures which think nothing of
an expenditure of twenty thousand pounds. This was the line
of thought that had kept him cheerful during what might
otherwise have been a trying interview. He was aware from
the first that Sir Thomas would not believe in the
purity of his motives, but he was convinced that the
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night would be satisfied to secure his silence on the
subject of the paced necklace at any price. He had
looked forward to baffled rage, furious denunciation, and a dozen
other expressions of emotion, but certainly not to collapse of
this kind. The other had begun to make strange gurgling noises.
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Mind you, said, Jimmy, it's a very good imitation. I'll
say that for it. I didn't suspect it till I
had the thing in my hands, looking at it, even
quite close. I was taken in for a moment. Sir
Thomas swallowed nervously. How did you know? He muttered again.
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Jimmy was surprised. He had expected indignant denials and demands
for proof, excited reiteration of the statement that the stones
had cost twenty thousand pounds. How did I know, he repeated,
If you mean what first made me suspect? I couldn't
tell you. It might have been one of a score
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of things. A jeweler can't say exactly how he gets
on the track of fake stones. He can feel them,
he can almost smell them. I worked with a jeweler once.
That's how I got my knowledge of jewels. But if
you mean, can I prove what I say about this necklace?
That's easy, there's no deception. It's simple. See here, these
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stones are supposed to be diamonds. Well, the diamond is
the hardest stone in existence. Nothing will scratch it. Now
I've got a little ruby out of a college pin,
which I know is genuine by rights. Then that ruby
ought not to have scratched these stones. You follow that,
but it did. It scratched two of them, the only
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two I tried. If you like, I can continue the experiment,
but there's no need. I can tell you right now
what these stones are. I said they were paste, but
that wasn't quite accurate. There is stuff called white jargoon.
It's a stuff that's very easily faked. You work it
with the flame of a blowpipe. You don't want a
(32:52):
full description, I suppose anyway. What happens is that the
blowpipe sets it up like a tonic, gives it increased
specific gravity and a healthy complexion, and all sorts of
great things of that kind. Two minutes in the flame
of a blowpipe is like a week at the seashore
to a bit of white jargoon? Are you satisfied if
(33:14):
it comes to that, I guess you can hardly be
expected to be convinced is a better word? Are you convinced?
Or do you hanker? After tests like polarized light and
refracting liquids? Sir Thomas had staggered to a chair, So
that's how you knew he said that was began Jimmy,
(33:37):
when a sudden suspicion flashed across his mind. He scrutinized
Sir Thomas's pallid face. Keenly, did you know, he asked.
He wondered that the possibility had not occurred to him earlier.
This would account for much that had puzzled him in
the other's reception of the news. He had supposed, vaguely,
(34:00):
without troubling to go far into the probabilities of such
a thing, that the necklace which Spike had brought to
him had been substituted for the genuine diamonds by a thief.
Such things happened frequently, he knew, But remembering what Molly
had told him of the care which Sir Thomas took
of this particular necklace and the frequency with which Lady
(34:20):
Julia wore it, he did not see how such a
substitution could have been effected. There had been no chance
of anybody's obtaining access to these stones for the necessary
length of time. By George, I believe you did, he cried,
you must have. So that's how it happened, is it?
(34:41):
I don't wonder. It was a shock when I said
I knew about the necklace, mister pitt Well, I have
something to say to you. I'm listening. Sir Thomas tried
to rally. There was a touch of the old pomposity
in his manner when he spoke, mister Pitt, I find
(35:02):
you in an unpleasant position, Jimmy interrupted, Don't you worry
about my unpleasant position? He said, fix your attention exclusively
upon your own. Let us be frank with one another.
You're in the cart. What do you propose to do
about it? Sir Thomas rallied again with the desperation of
(35:24):
one fighting a lost cause. I do not understand you,
he began. No, said Jimmy, I'll try and make my
meaning clear. Correct me from time to time if I
am wrong. The way I size the thing up is
as follows. When you married Lady Julia, I gather that
it was so to speak up to you. To some extent,
(35:48):
people knew you were a millionaire, and they expect something
special in the way of gifts from the bridegroom to
the bride. Now, you, being of a prudent and economical nature,
began to wonder if there wasn't some way of getting
a reputation for lavishness without actually unbelting to any great extent,
Am I right, Sir, Thomas did not answer, I am,
(36:13):
said Jimmy, Well, it occurred to you naturally enough that
a properly selected gift of jewelry might work the trick.
It only needed a little nerve. When you give a
present of diamonds to a lady, she is not likely
to call for polarized light or refracting liquids, and the
rest of the circus. In ninety nine cases out of
(36:34):
a hundred, she will take the things on trust. Very well,
you trotted off to a jeweler and put the thing
to him confidentially. I guess you suggested paste, But being
a wily person, he pointed out that paste has a
habit of not wearing well. It is pretty enough when
it's new, but quite a small amount of ordinary wear
(36:56):
and tear destroys the polish of the surface and the
sharpness of the cutting. It gets scratched easily. Having heard this,
and reflecting that Lady Julia was not likely to keep
the necklace under a glass case, you rejected paste as
too risky. The genial jeweler then suggested white jargoon, mentioning,
(37:16):
as I have done that after an application or so
of the blowpipe its own mother wouldn't know it. If
he was a bit of an antiquary, he probably added
that in the eighteenth century jargoon stones were supposed to
be actually an inferior sort of diamond. What could be
more suitable make it jargoon? Dear heart, you cried joyfully,
(37:38):
and all was well? Am I right? I notice that
you have not corrected me so far. Whether or not
Sir Thomas would have replied in the affirmative is uncertain.
He was opening his mouth to speak when the curtain
at the end of the room heaved and Lord Dreaver
burst out like a cannonball in tweeds. The apparition effectually
(38:00):
checked any speech that Sir Thomas might have been intending
to make. Lying back in his chair, he goggled silently
at the new arrival. Even Jimmy, though knowing that his
lordship had been in hiding, was taken aback. His attention
had become so concentrated on his duel with the Knight
that he had almost forgotten that they had an audience.
(38:20):
His lordship broke the silence, Great Scott, he cried. Neither
Jimmy nor Sir Thomas seemed to consider the observation unsound
or inadequate. They permitted it to pass without comment, You
old scoundrel, added his lordship, addressing Sir Thomas, and you'll
(38:42):
the man who called me a welsha. There were signs
of a flicker of spirit in the Knight's prominent eyes,
but they died away. He made no reply. Great Scott
moaned his lordship in a fervor of self pity. Here
have I been all these years, letting you give me
hades in every shape and form, when all the while,
(39:05):
my goodness, if i'd only known earlier. He turned to Jimmy,
pit old man, he said, warmly, I dash it. I
don't know what to say if it hadn't been for you.
I always did like Americans. I always thought it barely
rot that that fuss happened in in whenever it was.
(39:26):
If it hadn't been for fellows like you, he continued,
addressing Sir Thomas once more, there wouldn't have been any
of that frightful declaration of independence business, would there, pit
old man? These were deep problems, too spacious for a
casual examination. Jimmy shrugged his shoulders. Well, I guess Sir
(39:48):
Thomas might not have got along with George Washington anyway,
he said, of course not well. Spenny moved toward the door.
I'm off downstairs to see what Aunt Julia has to
say about it all. A shudder, as if from some
electric shock, shook Sir Thomas. He leaped to his feet. Spencer,
(40:09):
he cried, I forbid you to say a word to
your aunt, oh, said his lordship. You do, do you,
Sir Thomas shivered. She would never let me hear the
last of it. I bet she wouldn't. I'll go and
see stop well, Sir Thomas dabbed at his forehead with
(40:31):
his handkerchief. He dared not face the vision of Lady
Julia in possession of the truth. At one time, the
fear lest she might discover the harmless little deception he
had practiced had kept him awake at night. But gradually,
as the days went by, and the excellence of the
imitation stones had continued to impose upon her and upon
(40:53):
everyone else who saw them, the fear had diminished. But
it had always been at the back of his mind,
even in her calmer moments. His wife was a source
of mild terror to him. His imagination reeled at the
thought of what depths of aristocratic scorn and indignation she
would plum in a case like this, Spencer, he said,
(41:16):
I insist that you shall not inform your aunt of
this what you want me to keep my mouth shut?
You want me to become an accomplice in this beastly
low down deception. I like that, The point, said Jimmy
is well taken. No bless obleedg and all that sort
(41:36):
of thing. The blood of the Dreaver's boils furiously at
the idea. Listen, you can hear it. Sizzling. Lord Dreaver
moved a step nearer to the door. Stop, cried Sir
Thomas again. Spencer, Well, Spencer, my boy. It occurs to
me that perhaps I have not always treated you very well,
(42:00):
perhaps not always great, Scott. I'll have a fiver each way,
and both those, considering you've treated me like a frightful
kid practically ever since you've known me. I call that
pretty rich. Why what about this very night when I
asked you for a few pounds it was only the
(42:21):
thought that you had been gambling? Gambling? How about palming
off faked diamonds on Aunt Julia for a gamble a
game of skill, surely, murmured Jimmy. I have been thinking
the matter over, said Sir Thomas. And if you really
need though, was it not fifty pounds? It was twenty,
(42:43):
said his lordship. And I don't need it. Keep it.
You'll want all you can say for a new necklace.
His fingers closed on the door handle. Spencer stop, well,
we must talk this over. We must not be hasty.
Sir Thomas passed the handkerchief over his forehead. In the past, perhaps,
(43:06):
he resumed, our relations have not been quite the fault
was mine. I have always endeavored to do my duty.
It is a difficult task to look after a young
man of your age. His Lordship's sense of his grievance
made him eloquent. Dash it all, he cried, That's just
what I jolly well complain of. Who the Dickens wanted
(43:27):
you to look after me? Hang it, you've kept your
eye on me all these years, like a frightful policeman.
You cut off my allowance right in the middle of
my time at college, just when I needed it most,
and I had to come and beg for money whenever
I wanted to buy a cigarette. I looked a fearful
ass I can tell you men you knew me used
to be dashed funny about it. I'm sick of the
(43:48):
whole Bally business. You've given me a jolly thin time
all this while, and now I'm going to get a
bit of my own back, wouldn't you pit? Old man?
Jimmy thus suddenly appealed to admitted that in his lordship's place,
he might have experienced a momentary temptation to do something
of the kind, of course, said his lordship, any fellow would.
(44:13):
But Spencer, let me. You've soured my life, said his lordship,
frowning a tense by Ronick frown That's what you've done,
soured my whole Bally life. I've had a rotten time.
I've had to go about touching my friends for money
to keep me going. Why I owe you a fiver?
Don't I pit? Old man? It was a tenor to
(44:36):
be finickingly accurate about details, but Jimmy did not say so.
He concluded rightly that the memory of the original five
pounds which he had let Lord Dreaver at the Savoy Hotel,
had faded from the other's mind. Don't mention it, he said,
But I do mention it protested his Lordship, shrilly. It
(44:58):
just proves what I say. If I had had a
decent allowance, it wouldn't have happened, and you wouldn't give
me enough to set me going in the diplomatic service.
There's another thing. Why wouldn't you do that? Sir Thomas
pulled himself together. I hardly thought you qualified, my dear boy.
His Lordship did not actually foam at the mouth, but
(45:21):
he looked as if he might do so at any moment.
Excitement and the memory of his wrongs, lubricated as it were,
by the champagne he had consumed both at and after dinner,
had produced in him a frame of mind far removed
from the normal. His manners no longer had that repose
which stamps the caste of Vere de Vere. He waved
(45:41):
his hands. I know, I know, he shouted. I know
you didn't you thought me a fearful fool. I tell you,
I'm sick of it, and always trying to make me
marry money dash it humiliating. If she hadn't been a
joy sensible girl, you'd have spoiled miss mc keekin's life
(46:03):
as well as mine. You came very near it. I
tell you I've had enough of it. I'm in love.
I'm in love with the rippingest girl in England. You've
seen her pit old top. Isn't she a ripper? Jimmy
stamped the absent lady with the seal of his approval.
I tell you, if she'll have me, I'm going to
(46:24):
marry her. The dismay written on every inch of Sir
Thomas's countenance became intensified at these terrific words. Great as
had been his contempt for the actual holder of the title,
considered simply as a young man, he had always been
filled with a supreme respect for the dreaver name. But Spencer,
(46:44):
he almost howled, consider your position. You cannot, can't I
by jove? If she'll have me, and damn my position?
What's my position got to do with it? Katie's the
daughter of a general. If it comes to that, her
brother was a co with me. If I'd had a
penny to call my own, I'd have asked her to
marry me. Ages ago, don't you worry about my position,
(47:08):
Sir Thomas croaked feebly. Now look here, said his lordship
with determination. Here's the whole thing in a jolly old nutshell.
If you want me to forget about this little flutter
in the fake diamonds of yours, you've got to pull
up your socks and start in to do things. You've
got to get me attached to some embassy for a beginning.
(47:29):
It won't be difficult. There's dozens of old boys in
London who knew the Governor when he was alive, who'll
jump at the chance of doing me a good turn.
I know I'm a bit of an ass in some ways,
but that's expected of you in the diplomatic service. They
only want you to wear evening clothes as if you
were used to them, and be a bit of a
flyer dancing. And I can fill the bill all right
(47:49):
as far as that goes. And you've got to give
your jolly old blessing to Katie and me if she'll
have me. That's about all I can think of for
the moment. How do we go? Are you on? It's preposterous,
began Sir Thomas, Lord Dreaver. Gave the door handle a rattle.
It's a hold up, all right, said Jimmy soothingly. I
(48:12):
don't want to bud in on a family conclave, but
my advice if asked, would be to unbelt before the
shooting begins. You've got something worse than a pipe pointing
at you now as regards my position in the business,
don't worry. My silence is presented, gratis, give me a
loving smile, and my lips are sealed. Sir Thomas turned
(48:34):
on the speaker. As for you, he cried, Never mind
about Pitt, said his lordship. He's a dashed, good fellow, Pitt.
I wish they were more like him. And he wasn't
pinching the stuff either. If you had only listened when
he tried to tell you, you mightn't be in such
a frightful hole. He was putting the things back, as
(48:55):
he said, I know all about it. Well, what's the answer.
For a moment, Sir Thomas seemed on the point of refusal,
but just as he was about to speak, his Lordship
opened the door, and at the movement he collapsed again.
I will, he cried, I will good, said his Lordship
(49:16):
with satisfaction. That's a bargain coming downstairs, Peter old Man,
we shall be wanted on the stage in about half
a minute. As an antidote to stage fright, said Jimmy,
as they went along the corridor. Little discussions of that
kind may be highly recommended. I should mind bidding that
you feel fit for anything. I feel like a two
(49:39):
year old assented his lordship enthusiastically. I've forgotten all my part,
but I don't care. I'll just go down and talk
to them. That said, Jimmy is the right spirit. Chartress
will get heart disease, but it's the right spirit. A
little more of that sort of thing and amateur theatricals
(49:59):
would be worth listening to. Step Lively Roscius the stage
waits end of Part nine
Part nine of The Intrusion of Jimmy by P. G. Whitehouse.
This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. The Intrusion
of Jimmy, Chapter twenty five explanations. Jimmy, like his Lordship,
had been trapped at the beginning of the Duelog and
had not been able to get away till it was
(00:21):
nearly over. He had been introduced by Lady Julia to
an elderly and adhesive baronet who had recently spent ten
days in New York, and escape had not been won
without a struggle. The baronet, on his return to England,
had published a book entitled Modern America and Its People,
(00:41):
and it was with regard to the opinions expressed in
this volume that he invited Jimmy's views. He had no
wish to see the Duolog, and it was only after
the loss of much precious time that Jimmy was enabled
to tear himself away on the plea of having to dress.
He cured the authority on Modern America and its People
(01:03):
freely as he ran upstairs. While the duolog was in progress,
there had been no chance of Sir Thomas taking it
into his head to visit his dressing room he had been,
as his valet detective had observed to mister Gaylor, too
busy jollying along the swells. It would be the work
of a few moments only to restore the necklace to
(01:24):
its place. But for the tenacity of the elderly baronet,
the thing would have been done by this time. Now, however,
there was no knowing what might happen. Anybody might come
along the passage and see him. He had one point
in his favor. There was no likelihood of the jewels
being required by their owner till the conclusion of the theatricals.
(01:48):
The part that Lady Julia had been persuaded by Chartres
to play mercifully contain no scope for the display of gems.
Before going down to dinner, Jimmy had locked the necklace
in a drawer. It was still there, Spike having been able,
apparently to resist the temptation of recapturing it. Jimmy took
(02:09):
it and went into the corridor. He looked up and down.
There was nobody about. He shut his door and walked
quickly in the direction of the dressing room. He had
provided himself with an electric pocket torch equipped with a
reflector which he was in the habit of carrying when
on his travels. Once inside, having closed the door, he
(02:31):
set this aglow and looked about him. Spike had given
him minute directions as to the position of the jewel box.
He found it without difficulty. To his untrained eye, it
seemed tolerably massive and impregnable, but Spike had evidently known
how to open it without much difficulty. The lid was shut,
(02:52):
but it came up without an effort when he tried
to raise it, and he saw that the lock had
been broken. Sps coming on. He said. He was dangling
the necklace over the box preparatory to dropping it in.
When there was a quick rustle at the other side
of the room, the curtain was plucked aside, and Molly
(03:12):
came out. Jimmy, she cried. Jimmy's nerves were always in
pretty good order, but at the sight of this apparition
he visibly jumped. Great Scott, he said. The curtain again
became agitated by some unseen force violently this time, and
from its depths a plaintive voice made itself heard. Dash
(03:36):
it all, said the voice, I've stuck. There was another upheaval,
and his lordship emerged, his yellow locks ruffled and upstanding
his face. Crimson calt my head in a coat or something,
he explained at large hullo Pitt pressed rigidly against the wall.
(03:57):
Molly had listened with growing astonishment to the movement on
the other side of the curtain. Her mystification deepened every moment.
It seemed to her that the room was still in darkness.
She could hear the sound of breathing, and then the
light of the torch caught her eye. Who could this
be and why had he not switched on the regular
(04:17):
room lights. She strained her ears to catch a sound.
For a while, she heard nothing except the soft breathing.
Then came a voice that she knew well. And abandoning
her hiding place, she came out into the room and
found Jimmy standing with the torch in his hand over
some dark object in the corner of the room. It
(04:40):
was a full minute after Jimmy's first exclamation of surprise
before either of them spoke again. The light of the
torch hurt Molly's eyes. She put up a hand to
shade them. It seemed to her that they had been
standing like this for years. Jimmy had not moved. There
was something in his attitude that filled Molly with a
vague fear. In the shadow behind the torch, he looked
(05:04):
shapeless and inhuman. You're hurting my eyes, she said at last,
I'm sorry, said Jimmy. I didn't think. Is that better?
He turned the light from her face. Something in his
voice and the apologetic haste with which he moved the
torch seemed to relax the strain of the situation. The
feeling of stunned surprise began to leave her. She found
(05:28):
herself thinking coherently again. The relief was but momentary. Why
was Jimmy in the room at that time? Why had
he a torch? What had he been doing? The question
shot from her brain like sparks from an anvil. The
darkness began to tear at her nerves. She felt along
(05:48):
the wall for the switch and flooded the whole room
with light. Jimmy laid down the torch and stood for
a moment undecided. He had concealed the necklace behind him.
Now he brought it forward and dangled it silently before
the eyes of Molly and his lordship. Excellent, as were
his motives for being in that room with the necklace
(06:10):
in his hand. He could not help feeling as he
met Molly's startled gaze, quite as guilty as if his
intentions had been altogether different. His Lordship, having by this
time pulled himself together to some extent, was the first
to speak. I say, you know what ho he observed,
without emotion, what Molly drew back? Jimmy, you were Oh
(06:37):
you can't have been looks jolly like it, said his
lordship judicially. I wasn't, said Jimmy. I was putting them back,
putting them back, pit old Man, said his lordship solemnly.
That sounds a bit thin. Dreever old Man said, Jimmy,
(06:58):
I know it does, but it's the truth. His Lordship's
manner became kindly. Now look here, pit old son, he said,
there's nothing to worry about. We're all paws here. You
can pit it straight to us. We won't give you away.
We be quiet, cried Molly. Jimmy. Her voice was strained.
(07:22):
She spoke with an effort. She was suffering torments. The
words her father had said to her on the terrace
were pouring back into her mind. She seemed to hear
his voice, now cool and confident, warning her against Jimmy,
saying that he was crooked. There was a curious whirring
in her head. Everything in the room was growing large
(07:44):
and misty. She heard Lord Dreaver begin to say something
that sounded as if some one were speaking at the
end of a telephone, and then she was aware that
Jimmy was holding her in his arms and calling to
Lord Dreever to bring water. When a girl goes like that,
said his lordship, with an insufferable air of omniscience. You
(08:04):
want to cut her, Come along, said Jimmy. Are you
going to be a week getting that water? His lordship
proceeded to soak a sponge without further parley. But as
he carried his dripping burden across the room, Molly recovered.
She tried weakly to free herself. Jimmy helped her to
a chair. He had dropped the necklace on the floor,
(08:25):
and Lord Dreaver nearly trod on it. What ho observed
his lordship picking it up, Go easy with the jewry
Jimmy was bending over Molly. Neither of them seemed to
be aware of his lordship's presence. Spenny was the sort
of person whose existence is apt to be forgotten. Jimmy
had a flash of intuition. For the first time, it
(08:48):
had occurred to him that mister mc keechorn might have
hinted to Molly something of his own suspicions. Molly, dear,
he said, it isn't what you think. I can explain everything.
Do you feel better now? Can you listen? I can
explain everything. Peit old boy protested his lordship. You don't understand.
(09:10):
We aren't going to give you away. We're all Jimmy
ignored him. Molly, listen. She sat up. Go on, Jimmy,
She said, I wasn't stealing the necklace. I was putting
it back. The man who came to the castle with me,
Spike Mullins, took it this afternoon and brought it to me.
(09:32):
Spike Mullins, Molly remembered the name. He thinks I'm a crook,
a sort of raffles. It was my fault. I was
a fool. It all began that night in New York
when we met at your house. I had been to
the opening performance of a play called Love the Cracksman,
one of those burglar plays. Jolly good Show, interpolated his
(09:56):
lordship chatterly. It was at the Circle over here. I
went twice. A friend of mine, a man named Mifflin,
had been playing the hero in it, and after the
show at the club, he started in talking about the
art of burglary. He'd been studying it, and I said
that anybody could burgle a house, And in another minute
(10:17):
it somehow happened that I had made a bet that
I would do it that night. Heaven knows whether I
really meant to. But that same night, this man Mullins
broke into my flat and I caught him. We got
into conversation and I worked off on him a lot
of technical stuff I'd heard from this actor friend of mine,
and he jumped the conclusion that I was an expert.
(10:40):
And then it suddenly occurred to me that it would
be a good joke on Mifflin if I went out
with Mullins and did break into a house. I wasn't
in the mood to think what a fool I was
at the time. Well, anyway, we went out, and well
that's how it all happened. And then I met Spike
in London, down and Out and brought him here. He
(11:04):
looked at her anxiously. It did not need his lordship's
owlish expression of doubt to tell him how weak his
story must sound. He had felt it even as he
was telling it. He was bound to admit that if
ever a story rang false in every sentence, it was
this one pit old man, said his lordship, shaking his
(11:26):
head more in sorrow than in anger. It won't do,
old top. What's the point of putting up an old
yawn like that? Don't you see? What I mean is
it's not as if we minded, Don't I keep telling
you we're all pass here. I've often thought what a
jolly good federald Raffles was, regular sportsman. I don't blame
(11:47):
it Chappy for doing the gentleman burglar touch. Seems to
me it's a dashed spouting Molly turned on him, suddenly
cutting short his views on the ethics of gentlemanly theft
in a blaze of indigna. What do you mean? She cried?
Do you think I don't believe every word Jimmy has said?
His lordship jumped, Well, don't you know it seemed to
(12:11):
me a bit thin? What I mean is he met
Molly's eye? Oh well, he concluded lamely. Molly turned to Jimmy, Jimmy,
of course I believe you. I believe every word. Molly,
his lordship looked on, marveling. The thought crossed his mind
(12:33):
that he had lost the ideal wife, a girl who
would believe any old yarn a feller cared to if
it hadn't been for Katy. For a moment, he felt
almost sad. Jimmy and Molly were looking at each other
in silence. From the expression on their faces, his lordship
gathered that his existence had once more been forgotten. He
(12:56):
saw her hold out her hands to Jimmy, and it
seemed to him that the time had come to look away.
It was embarrassing for a chap. He looked away. The
next moment the door opened and closed again, and she
had gone. He looked at Jimmy. Jimmy was still, apparently
unconscious of his presence. His lordship coughed pit old man
(13:20):
Hullo said, Jimmy, coming out of his thoughts with a start,
you still hear by the way he eyed Lord Dreaver curiously.
I never thought of asking before, what on earth are
you doing here? Why were you behind the curtain? Were
you playing hide and seek? His lordship was not one
of those who invent circumstantial stories easily. On the spur
(13:43):
of the moment, he searched rapidly for something that would
pass muster, then abandon the hopeless struggle. After all, why
not be frank. He still believed Jimmy to be of
the class of the hero of love the cracksman. There
would be no harm in confiding in him. He was
a good fellow, a kindred soul, and would sympathize. It's
(14:07):
like this, he said, And having prefaced his narrative with
the sound remark that he had been a bit of
an ass, he gave Jimmy a summary of recent events.
What said, Jimmy, you taught Hargate Piquet. Why, my dear man,
he was playing Piquet like a professor when you were
(14:27):
in short frocks. He's a wonder at it. His lordship started,
how's that? He said? You don't know him, do you?
I met him in New York at the Stroller's Club,
A pal of mine, an actor, this fellow Mifflin, I
mention just now put him up as a guest. He
coined money at Piquet, and there were some pretty useful
(14:49):
players in the place too. I don't wonder you found
him a promising pupil, then then why dash it? Then
he's a ballysharpa. You're a genius at crisp description, said Jimmy.
You've got him summed up to Wright's first shot. I
sha'n't pay him a belly penny, of course, not if
(15:12):
he makes any objection refer him to me. His Lordship's
relief was extreme. The more overpowering effects of the elixir
had passed away, and he saw now what he had
not seen in his more exuberant frame of mind, the
cloud of suspicion that must have hung over him when
the loss of the bank notes was discovered. He wiped
(15:34):
his forehead. By jove, he said, that's something off my mind.
By George, I feel like a two year old. I say,
you're a dash of good sort. Pitt, you flatter me,
said Jimmy. I strive to please. I say, Pitt, that
yawn you told us just now, the bat and all
(15:54):
that honesty. You don't mean to say that was true,
was it? I mean, by jove, I've got an idea.
We live in stirring times. Did you say your act
of POW's name was Mifflin? He broke off suddenly. Before
Jimmy could answer, Great Scott, he whispered, what's that, good Lord,
(16:17):
somebody's coming. He dived behind the curtain like a rabbit.
The drapery had only just ceased to shake when the
door opened and Sir Thomas Blunt walked in Chapter twenty six,
stirring times for Sir Thomas. For a man whose intentions
toward the jewels and their owner were so innocent and
(16:38):
even benevolent, Jimmy was in a singularly compromising position. It
would have been difficult, even under more favorable conditions, to
have explained to Sir Thomas's satisfaction his presence in the
dressing room. As things stood, it was even harder for
his Lordship's last action before seeking cover had been to
fling the necklace from him like a burning call. For
(17:01):
the second time in ten minutes. It had fallen to
the carpet, and it was just as Jimmy straightened himself
after picking it up that Sir Thomas got a full
view of him. The Knight stood in the doorway, his
face expressing the most lively astonishment. His bulging eyes were
fixed upon the necklace in Jimmy's hand. Jimmy could see
(17:21):
him struggling to find words to cope with so special
a situation, and felt rather sorry for him. Excitement of
this kind was bad for a short necked man of
Sir Thomas's type. With kindly tact, he endeavored to help
his host out. Good evening, he said, pleasantly. Sir Thomas stammered,
(17:41):
he was gradually nearing speech. What what? What? What? He said?
Out with it, said Jimmy. What I knew a man
once in South Dakota who stammered, said Jimmy, he used
to chew dog biscuit while he was speaking. It cured him.
Besides its being nutritious, another way is to count ten
(18:03):
while you're thinking of what to say, and then get
it out quick, you you bluggard. Jimmy placed the necklace
carefully on the dressing table. Then he turned to Sir
Thomas with his hands thrust into his pockets. Over the
Knight's head, he could see the folds of the curtain
quivering gently, as if stirred by some zephyr. Evidently, the
(18:26):
drama of the situation was not lost on Hildebrand Spencer,
twelfth Earl of Driver, nor was it lost on Jimmy.
This was precisely the sort of situation that appealed to him.
He had his plan of action clearly mapped out. He
knew that it would be useless to tell the Knight
the true facts of the case. Sir Thomas was as
(18:48):
deficient in simple faith as in Norman Blood. Though a
Londoner by birth, he had won at least of the
characteristic traits of the natives of Missouri. All appearances, this
was a tight corner, but Jimmy fancied that he saw
his way out of it. Meanwhile, the situation appealed to him.
(19:08):
Curiously enough. It was almost identical with the big scene
in Act three of Love the Cracksman, in which Arthur
Mifflin had made such a hit as the debonair Burglar.
Jimmy proceeded to give his own idea of what the
rendering of a debonair burglar should be. Arthur Mifflin had
lighted a cigarette and had shot out smoke rings and repartee. Alternately,
(19:33):
a cigarette would have been a great help here, but
Jimmy prepared to do his best without properties. So so
it's you, is it, said Sir Thomas, who told you thief? Low, thief?
Come now, protested, Jimmy, Why low? Just because you don't
(19:54):
know me over here? Why scorn me? How do you know?
I haven't got a big American reputation? For all you
can tell, I may be Boston Billy or Sacramento Sam
or someone. Let us preserve the decency of debate. I
had my suspicions of you. I had my suspicions from
the first when I heard that my idiot of a
(20:16):
nephew had made a casual friend in London. So this
is what you were. A thief who I don't mind
personally interrupted Jimmy. But I hope if ever you mix
with cracksmen, you won't go calling them thieves. They are
frightfully sensitive. You see, there's a world of difference between
(20:37):
the two branches of the profession, and a good deal
of snobbish caste prejudice. Let us suppose that you were
an actor manager. How would you enjoy being called a
super You see the idea, don't you? You'd hurt their feelings. Now,
an ordinary thief would probably use violence in a case
like this, but violence except in extreme cases, and I
(21:00):
hope this won't be one of them. Is contrary I
understand to cracksman's etiquette. On the other hand, Sir Thomas
candor compels me to add that I have you covered.
There was a pipe in the pocket of his coat.
He thrust the stem earnestly against the lining. Sir Thomas
eyed the protuberance apprehensively and turned a little pale. Jimmy
(21:23):
was scowling ferociously. Arthur Mifflin's scowl in Act three had
been much admired. My gun, said Jimmy, is as you
see in my pocket. I always shoot from the pocket
in spite of the tailor's bills. The little fellow is
loaded and cocked. He's pointing straight at your diamond solitaire,
(21:43):
that fatal spot. No one has ever been hit in
the diamond solitaire and survived. My finger is on the trigger,
so I should recommend you not touch that bell you
are looking at. There are other reasons why you shouldn't,
but those I will go into pre Sir Thomas's hand wavered.
(22:04):
Do if you like, of course, said Jimmy, agreeably. It's
your own house. But I shouldn't. I am a dead
shot at a yard and a half. You wouldn't believe
the number of sitting haystacks. I've picked off at that distance.
I just can't miss. On second thoughts, I shan't fire
to kill you. Let us be humane on this joyful occasion.
(22:26):
I shall just smash your knees, painful but not fatal.
He waggled the pipe suggestively. Sir Thomas blinched, his hand
fell to his side. Great, said Jimmy, after all, why
should you be in a hurry to break up this
very pleasant little meeting. I'm sure I'm not. Let us chat.
(22:47):
How are the theatricals going? Was the duelog of success.
Wait till you see our show. Three of us knew
our lines. At dress rehearsal, Sir Thomas had backed away
from the bell, but the retreat was merely for the
convenience of the moment. He understood that it might be
injudicious to press the button just then, but he had
(23:08):
recovered his composure by this time, and he saw that
ultimately the game must be his. His face resumed its
normal hue automatically, his hands began to move toward his
coat tails, his feet to spread themselves. Jimmy noted with
a smile. These signs of restored complacency. He hoped ere
(23:29):
long to upset that complacency somewhat. Sir Thomas addressed himself
to making Jimmy's position clear to him. How may I ask,
he said? Do you propose to leave the castle? Won't
you let me have the automobile? Said Jimmy. But I
guess I shan't be leaving just yet, Sir Thomas laughed shortly. No,
(23:53):
he said, no, I fancy not. I am with you there,
great mindines, said Jimmy. I shouldn't be surprised if we
thought alike on all sorts of subjects. Just think how
you came round to my views on ringing bells. But
what made you fancy that I intended to leave the castle?
(24:15):
I should hardly have supposed that you would be anxious
to stay. On the contrary, it's the one place I
have been in in the last two years that I
have felt really satisfied with. Usually I want to move
on after a week, but I could stop here forever.
I am afraid, mister Pitt, by the way, and alias,
(24:35):
of course, Jimmy shook his head. I fear not, he said.
If I had chosen an alias, it would have been Tresalian.
Or travillian, or something I call Pitt, A poor thing
in names. I once knew a man called Ronald chalesmore
lucky devil. Sir Thomas returned to the point on which
(24:57):
he had been about to touch. I am afraid, mister Pitt,
He said, that you hardly realize your position. No, said Jimmy,
interested I find you in the act of stealing my
wife's necklace. Would there be any use in telling you
that I was not stealing it but putting it back?
(25:18):
Sir Thomas raised his eyebrows in silence. No, said Jimmy,
I was afraid, not you were saying, I find you
in the act of stealing my wife's necklace. Proceeded Sir Thomas.
And because for the moment you succeed in postponing arrest
by threatening me with a revolver. An agitated look came
(25:40):
into Jimmy's face. Great Scott, he cried, He felt hastily
in his pocket. Yes, he said, as I had begun
to fear, I owe you an apology, Sir Thomas. He
went on, with manly dignity, preceding the briar. I am
entirely to blame how the mistake arose I cannot imagine,
(26:00):
but I find it isn't a revolver at all. Sir
Thomas's cheeks took on a richer tint of purple. He
glared dumbly at the pipe. In the excitement of the moments,
I guess began Jimmy, Sir Thomas interrupted. The recollection of
his needless panic rankled within him. You you, you count
(26:23):
ten you what you propose to gain by this buffoonery.
I am at a loss. How can you say such
savage things, protested Jimmy. Not buffoonery, wit espree flow of soul,
such as circulates daily in the best society. Sir Thomas
(26:44):
almost leaped toward the bell with his finger on it.
He turned to deliver a final speech. I believe you're insane,
he cried, But I'll have no more of it. I
have endured this foodery long enough. I'll john one moment,
said Jimmy. I said just now that there were reasons
(27:05):
besides the revol well pipe why you should not ring
that bell. One of them is that all the servants
will be in their places in the audience so that
there won't be any one to answer it. But that's
not the most convincing reason. Will you listen to one
more before getting busy? I see your game. Don't imagine
(27:26):
for a moment that you can trick me. Nothing could
be further You fancy you can gain time by talking
and find some way to escape. But I don't want
to escape. Don't you realize that in about ten minutes
I am due to play an important part in a
great drama on the stage. I'll keep you here, I
(27:47):
tell you you'll leave this room, said Sir Thomas grandly.
Over my body steeple chasing in the home, murmured Jimmy,
No more dull evenings. But listen, do this. I won't
keep you a minute. And if you want to push
that bell after I'm through, you may push it six
inches into the wall if you like, well, said Sir
(28:10):
Thomas shortly. Would you like me to lead gently up
to what I want to say, gradually preparing you for
the reception of the news, or shall I the night
took out his watch. I shall give you one minute,
he said, heavens, I must hustle. How many seconds have
I got? Now? If you have anything to say, say
(28:31):
it very well, then, said Jimmy. It's only this that
necklace is a fraud. The diamonds aren't diamonds at all.
They're paste Chapter twenty seven, a Declaration of Independence. If
Jimmy had entertained any doubts concerning the effectiveness of this disclosure,
(28:55):
they would have vanished at the sight of the other's face.
Just as the rich hues of a sunset pale slowly
into an almost imperceptible green, so did the purple of
Sir Thomas's cheeks become in stages, first a dull red,
then pink, and finally take on a uniform pallor. His
(29:16):
mouth hung open, his attitude of righteous defiance had crumpled.
Unsuspected creases appeared in his clothes. He had the appearance
of one who has been caught in the machinery. Jimmy
was a little puzzled. He had expected to check the enemy,
to bring him to reason, but not to demolish him
(29:36):
in this way. There was something in this which he
did not understand. When Spike had handed him the stones
and his trained eye, after a moment's searching examination, had
made him suspicious, and when finally a simple test had
proved his suspicions correct, he was comfortably aware that though
found with the necklace on his person, he had knowledge which,
(30:00):
communicated to Sir Thomas, would serve him well. He knew
that Lady Julia was not the sort of lady who
would bear calmly the announcement that her treasured rope of
diamonds was a fraud. He knew enough of her to
know that she would demand another necklace and see that
she got it, And that Sir Thomas was not one
(30:20):
of those generous and expansive natures which think nothing of
an expenditure of twenty thousand pounds. This was the line
of thought that had kept him cheerful during what might
otherwise have been a trying interview. He was aware from
the first that Sir Thomas would not believe in the
purity of his motives, but he was convinced that the
(30:41):
night would be satisfied to secure his silence on the
subject of the paced necklace at any price. He had
looked forward to baffled rage, furious denunciation, and a dozen
other expressions of emotion, but certainly not to collapse of
this kind. The other had begun to make strange gurgling noises.
(31:03):
Mind you, said, Jimmy, it's a very good imitation. I'll
say that for it. I didn't suspect it till I
had the thing in my hands, looking at it, even
quite close. I was taken in for a moment. Sir
Thomas swallowed nervously. How did you know? He muttered again.
(31:23):
Jimmy was surprised. He had expected indignant denials and demands
for proof, excited reiteration of the statement that the stones
had cost twenty thousand pounds. How did I know, he repeated,
If you mean what first made me suspect? I couldn't
tell you. It might have been one of a score
(31:44):
of things. A jeweler can't say exactly how he gets
on the track of fake stones. He can feel them,
he can almost smell them. I worked with a jeweler once.
That's how I got my knowledge of jewels. But if
you mean, can I prove what I say about this necklace?
That's easy, there's no deception. It's simple. See here, these
(32:07):
stones are supposed to be diamonds. Well, the diamond is
the hardest stone in existence. Nothing will scratch it. Now
I've got a little ruby out of a college pin,
which I know is genuine by rights. Then that ruby
ought not to have scratched these stones. You follow that,
but it did. It scratched two of them, the only
(32:30):
two I tried. If you like, I can continue the experiment,
but there's no need. I can tell you right now
what these stones are. I said they were paste, but
that wasn't quite accurate. There is stuff called white jargoon.
It's a stuff that's very easily faked. You work it
with the flame of a blowpipe. You don't want a
(32:52):
full description, I suppose anyway. What happens is that the
blowpipe sets it up like a tonic, gives it increased
specific gravity and a healthy complexion, and all sorts of
great things of that kind. Two minutes in the flame
of a blowpipe is like a week at the seashore
to a bit of white jargoon? Are you satisfied if
(33:14):
it comes to that, I guess you can hardly be
expected to be convinced is a better word? Are you convinced?
Or do you hanker? After tests like polarized light and
refracting liquids? Sir Thomas had staggered to a chair, So
that's how you knew he said that was began Jimmy,
(33:37):
when a sudden suspicion flashed across his mind. He scrutinized
Sir Thomas's pallid face. Keenly, did you know, he asked.
He wondered that the possibility had not occurred to him earlier.
This would account for much that had puzzled him in
the other's reception of the news. He had supposed, vaguely,
(34:00):
without troubling to go far into the probabilities of such
a thing, that the necklace which Spike had brought to
him had been substituted for the genuine diamonds by a thief.
Such things happened frequently, he knew, But remembering what Molly
had told him of the care which Sir Thomas took
of this particular necklace and the frequency with which Lady
(34:20):
Julia wore it, he did not see how such a
substitution could have been effected. There had been no chance
of anybody's obtaining access to these stones for the necessary
length of time. By George, I believe you did, he cried,
you must have. So that's how it happened, is it?
(34:41):
I don't wonder. It was a shock when I said
I knew about the necklace, mister pitt Well, I have
something to say to you. I'm listening. Sir Thomas tried
to rally. There was a touch of the old pomposity
in his manner when he spoke, mister Pitt, I find
(35:02):
you in an unpleasant position, Jimmy interrupted, Don't you worry
about my unpleasant position? He said, fix your attention exclusively
upon your own. Let us be frank with one another.
You're in the cart. What do you propose to do
about it? Sir Thomas rallied again with the desperation of
(35:24):
one fighting a lost cause. I do not understand you,
he began. No, said Jimmy, I'll try and make my
meaning clear. Correct me from time to time if I
am wrong. The way I size the thing up is
as follows. When you married Lady Julia, I gather that
it was so to speak up to you. To some extent,
(35:48):
people knew you were a millionaire, and they expect something
special in the way of gifts from the bridegroom to
the bride. Now, you, being of a prudent and economical nature,
began to wonder if there wasn't some way of getting
a reputation for lavishness without actually unbelting to any great extent,
Am I right, Sir, Thomas did not answer, I am,
(36:13):
said Jimmy, Well, it occurred to you naturally enough that
a properly selected gift of jewelry might work the trick.
It only needed a little nerve. When you give a
present of diamonds to a lady, she is not likely
to call for polarized light or refracting liquids, and the
rest of the circus. In ninety nine cases out of
(36:34):
a hundred, she will take the things on trust. Very well,
you trotted off to a jeweler and put the thing
to him confidentially. I guess you suggested paste, But being
a wily person, he pointed out that paste has a
habit of not wearing well. It is pretty enough when
it's new, but quite a small amount of ordinary wear
(36:56):
and tear destroys the polish of the surface and the
sharpness of the cutting. It gets scratched easily. Having heard this,
and reflecting that Lady Julia was not likely to keep
the necklace under a glass case, you rejected paste as
too risky. The genial jeweler then suggested white jargoon, mentioning,
(37:16):
as I have done that after an application or so
of the blowpipe its own mother wouldn't know it. If
he was a bit of an antiquary, he probably added
that in the eighteenth century jargoon stones were supposed to
be actually an inferior sort of diamond. What could be
more suitable make it jargoon? Dear heart, you cried joyfully,
(37:38):
and all was well? Am I right? I notice that
you have not corrected me so far. Whether or not
Sir Thomas would have replied in the affirmative is uncertain.
He was opening his mouth to speak when the curtain
at the end of the room heaved and Lord Dreaver
burst out like a cannonball in tweeds. The apparition effectually
(38:00):
checked any speech that Sir Thomas might have been intending
to make. Lying back in his chair, he goggled silently
at the new arrival. Even Jimmy, though knowing that his
lordship had been in hiding, was taken aback. His attention
had become so concentrated on his duel with the Knight
that he had almost forgotten that they had an audience.
(38:20):
His lordship broke the silence, Great Scott, he cried. Neither
Jimmy nor Sir Thomas seemed to consider the observation unsound
or inadequate. They permitted it to pass without comment, You
old scoundrel, added his lordship, addressing Sir Thomas, and you'll
(38:42):
the man who called me a welsha. There were signs
of a flicker of spirit in the Knight's prominent eyes,
but they died away. He made no reply. Great Scott
moaned his lordship in a fervor of self pity. Here
have I been all these years, letting you give me
hades in every shape and form, when all the while,
(39:05):
my goodness, if i'd only known earlier. He turned to Jimmy,
pit old man, he said, warmly, I dash it. I
don't know what to say if it hadn't been for you.
I always did like Americans. I always thought it barely
rot that that fuss happened in in whenever it was.
(39:26):
If it hadn't been for fellows like you, he continued,
addressing Sir Thomas once more, there wouldn't have been any
of that frightful declaration of independence business, would there, pit
old man? These were deep problems, too spacious for a
casual examination. Jimmy shrugged his shoulders. Well, I guess Sir
(39:48):
Thomas might not have got along with George Washington anyway,
he said, of course not well. Spenny moved toward the door.
I'm off downstairs to see what Aunt Julia has to
say about it all. A shudder, as if from some
electric shock, shook Sir Thomas. He leaped to his feet. Spencer,
(40:09):
he cried, I forbid you to say a word to
your aunt, oh, said his lordship. You do, do you,
Sir Thomas shivered. She would never let me hear the
last of it. I bet she wouldn't. I'll go and
see stop well, Sir Thomas dabbed at his forehead with
(40:31):
his handkerchief. He dared not face the vision of Lady
Julia in possession of the truth. At one time, the
fear lest she might discover the harmless little deception he
had practiced had kept him awake at night. But gradually,
as the days went by, and the excellence of the
imitation stones had continued to impose upon her and upon
(40:53):
everyone else who saw them, the fear had diminished. But
it had always been at the back of his mind,
even in her calmer moments. His wife was a source
of mild terror to him. His imagination reeled at the
thought of what depths of aristocratic scorn and indignation she
would plum in a case like this, Spencer, he said,
(41:16):
I insist that you shall not inform your aunt of
this what you want me to keep my mouth shut?
You want me to become an accomplice in this beastly
low down deception. I like that, The point, said Jimmy
is well taken. No bless obleedg and all that sort
(41:36):
of thing. The blood of the Dreaver's boils furiously at
the idea. Listen, you can hear it. Sizzling. Lord Dreaver
moved a step nearer to the door. Stop, cried Sir
Thomas again. Spencer, Well, Spencer, my boy. It occurs to
me that perhaps I have not always treated you very well,
(42:00):
perhaps not always great, Scott. I'll have a fiver each way,
and both those, considering you've treated me like a frightful
kid practically ever since you've known me. I call that
pretty rich. Why what about this very night when I
asked you for a few pounds it was only the
(42:21):
thought that you had been gambling? Gambling? How about palming
off faked diamonds on Aunt Julia for a gamble a
game of skill, surely, murmured Jimmy. I have been thinking
the matter over, said Sir Thomas. And if you really
need though, was it not fifty pounds? It was twenty,
(42:43):
said his lordship. And I don't need it. Keep it.
You'll want all you can say for a new necklace.
His fingers closed on the door handle. Spencer stop, well,
we must talk this over. We must not be hasty.
Sir Thomas passed the handkerchief over his forehead. In the past, perhaps,
(43:06):
he resumed, our relations have not been quite the fault
was mine. I have always endeavored to do my duty.
It is a difficult task to look after a young
man of your age. His Lordship's sense of his grievance
made him eloquent. Dash it all, he cried, That's just
what I jolly well complain of. Who the Dickens wanted
(43:27):
you to look after me? Hang it, you've kept your
eye on me all these years, like a frightful policeman.
You cut off my allowance right in the middle of
my time at college, just when I needed it most,
and I had to come and beg for money whenever
I wanted to buy a cigarette. I looked a fearful
ass I can tell you men you knew me used
to be dashed funny about it. I'm sick of the
(43:48):
whole Bally business. You've given me a jolly thin time
all this while, and now I'm going to get a
bit of my own back, wouldn't you pit? Old man?
Jimmy thus suddenly appealed to admitted that in his lordship's place,
he might have experienced a momentary temptation to do something
of the kind, of course, said his lordship, any fellow would.
(44:13):
But Spencer, let me. You've soured my life, said his lordship,
frowning a tense by Ronick frown That's what you've done,
soured my whole Bally life. I've had a rotten time.
I've had to go about touching my friends for money
to keep me going. Why I owe you a fiver?
Don't I pit? Old man? It was a tenor to
(44:36):
be finickingly accurate about details, but Jimmy did not say so.
He concluded rightly that the memory of the original five
pounds which he had let Lord Dreaver at the Savoy Hotel,
had faded from the other's mind. Don't mention it, he said,
But I do mention it protested his Lordship, shrilly. It
(44:58):
just proves what I say. If I had had a
decent allowance, it wouldn't have happened, and you wouldn't give
me enough to set me going in the diplomatic service.
There's another thing. Why wouldn't you do that? Sir Thomas
pulled himself together. I hardly thought you qualified, my dear boy.
His Lordship did not actually foam at the mouth, but
(45:21):
he looked as if he might do so at any moment.
Excitement and the memory of his wrongs, lubricated as it were,
by the champagne he had consumed both at and after dinner,
had produced in him a frame of mind far removed
from the normal. His manners no longer had that repose
which stamps the caste of Vere de Vere. He waved
(45:41):
his hands. I know, I know, he shouted. I know
you didn't you thought me a fearful fool. I tell you,
I'm sick of it, and always trying to make me
marry money dash it humiliating. If she hadn't been a
joy sensible girl, you'd have spoiled miss mc keekin's life
(46:03):
as well as mine. You came very near it. I
tell you I've had enough of it. I'm in love.
I'm in love with the rippingest girl in England. You've
seen her pit old top. Isn't she a ripper? Jimmy
stamped the absent lady with the seal of his approval.
I tell you, if she'll have me, I'm going to
(46:24):
marry her. The dismay written on every inch of Sir
Thomas's countenance became intensified at these terrific words. Great as
had been his contempt for the actual holder of the title,
considered simply as a young man, he had always been
filled with a supreme respect for the dreaver name. But Spencer,
(46:44):
he almost howled, consider your position. You cannot, can't I
by jove? If she'll have me, and damn my position?
What's my position got to do with it? Katie's the
daughter of a general. If it comes to that, her
brother was a co with me. If I'd had a
penny to call my own, I'd have asked her to
marry me. Ages ago, don't you worry about my position,
(47:08):
Sir Thomas croaked feebly. Now look here, said his lordship
with determination. Here's the whole thing in a jolly old nutshell.
If you want me to forget about this little flutter
in the fake diamonds of yours, you've got to pull
up your socks and start in to do things. You've
got to get me attached to some embassy for a beginning.
(47:29):
It won't be difficult. There's dozens of old boys in
London who knew the Governor when he was alive, who'll
jump at the chance of doing me a good turn.
I know I'm a bit of an ass in some ways,
but that's expected of you in the diplomatic service. They
only want you to wear evening clothes as if you
were used to them, and be a bit of a
flyer dancing. And I can fill the bill all right
(47:49):
as far as that goes. And you've got to give
your jolly old blessing to Katie and me if she'll
have me. That's about all I can think of for
the moment. How do we go? Are you on? It's preposterous,
began Sir Thomas, Lord Dreaver. Gave the door handle a rattle.
It's a hold up, all right, said Jimmy soothingly. I
(48:12):
don't want to bud in on a family conclave, but
my advice if asked, would be to unbelt before the
shooting begins. You've got something worse than a pipe pointing
at you now as regards my position in the business,
don't worry. My silence is presented, gratis, give me a
loving smile, and my lips are sealed. Sir Thomas turned
(48:34):
on the speaker. As for you, he cried, Never mind
about Pitt, said his lordship. He's a dashed, good fellow, Pitt.
I wish they were more like him. And he wasn't
pinching the stuff either. If you had only listened when
he tried to tell you, you mightn't be in such
a frightful hole. He was putting the things back, as
(48:55):
he said, I know all about it. Well, what's the answer.
For a moment, Sir Thomas seemed on the point of refusal,
but just as he was about to speak, his Lordship
opened the door, and at the movement he collapsed again.
I will, he cried, I will good, said his Lordship
(49:16):
with satisfaction. That's a bargain coming downstairs, Peter old Man,
we shall be wanted on the stage in about half
a minute. As an antidote to stage fright, said Jimmy,
as they went along the corridor. Little discussions of that
kind may be highly recommended. I should mind bidding that
you feel fit for anything. I feel like a two
(49:39):
year old assented his lordship enthusiastically. I've forgotten all my part,
but I don't care. I'll just go down and talk
to them. That said, Jimmy is the right spirit. Chartress
will get heart disease, but it's the right spirit. A
little more of that sort of thing and amateur theatricals
(49:59):
would be worth listening to. Step Lively Roscius the stage
waits end of Part nine
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