10 - Part 10. The Intrusion of Jimmy by P.G. Wodehouse.

10 - Part 10. The Intrusion of Jimmy by P.G. Wodehouse.  
The action begins with playboy bachelor Jimmy Pitt in New York; having fallen in love on a transatlantic liner, he befriends a small-time burglar and breaks into a police captain's house as a result of a bet. The cast of characters head to England, and from there on it is a typically Wodehousian romantic farce, set at the stately Dreever Castle, overflowing with imposters, detectives, crooks, scheming lovers and conniving aunts.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Part ten of the Intrusion of Jimmy by P. G. Woodhouse.
This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. The Intrusion
of Jimmy, Chapter twenty eight, Spenny's Hour of Clear Vision.
Mister mc heckern sat in the billiard room smoking. He
was alone. From where he sat, he could hear distant

(00:22):
strains of music, the more rigorous portion of the evening's entertainment.
The theatricals was over, and the nobility and gentry, having
done their duty by sitting through the performance, were now
enjoying themselves in the ball room. Everybody was happy. The
play had been quite as successful as the usual amateur performance.
The prompter had made himself a great favorite from the start,

(00:45):
his series of duets with Spenny having been especially admired,
and Jimmy, as became an old professional, had played his
part with great finish and certainty of touch. Though like
the bloodhounds in Uncle Tom's cabin on the road, he
had had poor support. But the audience bore no malice.
No collection of individuals is less vindictive than an audience

(01:09):
at amateur theatricals. It was all over now. Chartress had
literally gibbered in the presence of eye witnesses at one
point in the second act, when Spenny, by giving a
wrong cue, had jerked the play abruptly into Act three,
where his colleagues, dimly suspecting something wrong but not knowing
what it was, had kept it for two minutes, to

(01:30):
the mystification of the audience. But now Chartress had begun
to forget. As he two stepped down the room, the
lines of agony on his face were softened. He even smiled.
As for Spennie, the brilliance of his happy grin dazzled
all beholders. He was still wearing it when he invaded
the solitude of mister mcckeckern. In every dance, however greatly

(01:54):
he may be enjoying it, there comes a time when
a man needs a meditative cigarette. Apart from the throng,
it came to Spennie after the seventh item on the program.
The billiard room struck him as admirably suitable in every way.
It was not likely to be used as a sitting
out place, and it was near enough to the ball
room to enable him to hear when the music of

(02:15):
item number nine should begin. Mister mc keechorn welcomed his visitor.
In the turmoil following the theatricals, he had been unable
to get a word with any of the persons with
whom he most wished to speak. He had been surprised
that no announcement of the engagement had been made at
the end of the performance. Spenny would be able to

(02:36):
supply him with information as to when the announcement might
be expected. Spenny hesitated for an instant when he saw
who was in the room. He was not over anxious
for a tete a tete with Molly's father just then,
but refleeting that after all he was not to blame
for any disappointment that might be troubling the other, he

(02:56):
switched on his grin again and walked in. Came for
a smoke, he explained, by way of opening the conversation,
not dancing. The next Come in, my boy, Come in,
said mister mc keeckorn. I was waiting to see you.
Spenny regretted his entrance. He had supposed that the other

(03:17):
had heard the news of the breaking off of the engagement. Evidently, however,
mc keechern had not. This was a nuisance. The idea
of flight came to Spenne, but he dismissed it as
nominal host. That night, he had to dance many duty dances.
This would be his only chance of a smoke for hours,

(03:37):
and the billiard room was the best place for it.
He sat down and lighted a cigarette, casting about the
while for an innocuous topic of conversation, like the show
he inquired, Fine, said mister mc kechorn. By the way,
Spenny groaned inwardly. He had forgotten that a determined man

(03:59):
can change the converse to any subject he pleases by
means of those three words. By the way, said mister
mc heckorn, I thought, Sir Thomas, wasn't your uncle intending
to announce? Well, yes he was, said Spenny, going to
do it during the dancing maybe? Well er, No, the

(04:21):
fact is he's not going to do it at all,
don't you know? Spenny inspected the red end of his
cigarette closely. As a matter of fact, it's kind of
broken off. The other's exclamation jarred on him, rotten having
to talk about this sort of thing broken off. Spenny nodded.

(04:43):
Miss mc hechern. Thought it over, don't you know, he said,
and came to the conclusion that it wasn't good enough.
Now that it was said, he felt easier. It had
merely been the awkwardness of having to touch on the
thing that had troubled him. That his new might be
a blow to Mchechorn did not cross his mind. He

(05:04):
was a singularly modest youth, and though he realized vaguely
that his title had a certain value in some person's eyes,
he could not understand anyone mourning over the loss of
him as a son in law. Katy's father, the old General,
thought him a fool, and once, during an attack of gout,
had said so. Spenny was wont to accept this as

(05:25):
the view which a prospective father in law might be
expected to entertain, regarding himself. Oblivious therefore to the storm
raging a yard away from him, he smoked on with
great contentment, till suddenly it struck him that, for a
presumably devout lover jilted that very night, he was displaying
too little emotion. He debated swiftly within himself whether or

(05:49):
not he should have a dash at manly grief, but
came to the conclusion that it could not be done. Melancholy.
On this maddest, merriest day of all the glad new year,
the day on which he had utterly routed the powers
of evil as represented by Sir Thomas, was impossible. He
decided rather on a let us be reasonable attitude. It

(06:13):
wouldn't have done, don't you know? He said, we weren't suited.
What I mean to say is I'm a bit of
a dashed sort of silly ass in some ways, if
you know what I mean. A girl like miss mc
achan couldn't have been happy with me. She wants one
of these capable, energetic fellows. This struck him as a
good beginning, modest but not groveling. He continued tapping quite

(06:36):
a respectably deep vein of philosophy as he spoke. You see,
dear old top I mean, sir, you see, it's like this,
as far as women are concerned, fellers are divided into
two classes. There's the masterful, capable Johnnies and the uh,
the other sort. Well, I'm the other sort. My idea

(06:59):
of the happy, merry life is to be well, not
exactly down trodden, but you know what I mean, kind
of second fiddle. I want a wife. His voice grew
soft and dreamy. Who'll pet me a good deal? Don't
you know? Stroke My hair a lot and all that
I haven't in me to do. The master in my

(07:19):
own house business for me the silent devotion touch sleeping
on the mat outside her door, don't you know, when
she wasn't feeling well and being found there in the morning,
and being rather causeted for my thoughtfulness. That's the sort
of idea. Hard to put it, quite okay, but you
know the sort of thing. I mean. A fellow's got

(07:41):
to realize his jolly old limitations if he wants to
be happy though married. What now suppose miss mc keekkan
was to marry me great Scott, she'd be bored to
death in a week. Honest, she couldn't help herself. She
wants a chap with the same amount of go in
him that she's got. He lighted another cigarette. He was

(08:01):
feeling pleased with himself. Never before had ideas marshaled themselves
in his mind in such long and well ordered ranks.
He felt that he could go on talking like this
all night. He was getting brainier every minute. He remembered
reading in some book somewhere of a girl or chappie
who had had her or his hour of clear vision.

(08:26):
This was precisely what had happened. Now. Whether it was
owing to the excitement of what had taken place that night,
or because he had been keying up his thinking powers
with excellent dry champagne, he did not know. All he
knew was that he felt on top of his subject.
He wished he had had a larger audience. A girl

(08:47):
like miss mc keekan doesn't want any of that hair
stroking business. She'd simply laugh at a feller if he
asked for it. She needs a choppy of the get
on or get out type, somebody in the six cylinder class.
And as a matter of fact, between ourselves, I rather
think she's found him. What mister mc hechorn half rose

(09:08):
from his chair. All his old fears had come surging back.
What do you mean, fact, said his lordship, nodding, mind you,
I don't know for certain, As the girl says in
the song, I don't know, but I guess what I
mean to say is they seemed jolly friendly in all that,
calling each other by their first names and so on.

(09:30):
Oh pitt, said his lordship. He was leaning back, blowing
a smokering at the moment, so he did not see
the look on the other's face, and the sudden grip
of the fingers on the arms of the chair. He
went on with some enthusiasm. Jimmy Pitt, He said, Now
there's a feller full of oats to the brim and

(09:52):
fairly bursting with go and energy. A girl wouldn't have
a dull moment with a chap like that, you know,
he proceeded, confidently, there's a lot in this idea of affinities.
Take my word for it, dear old sir. There's a
girl up in London, for instance. Now she and I
hit it off most amazingly. There's hardly a thing we

(10:14):
don't think alike about. For instance, the merry widow didn't
make a bit of a hit with her, nor did
it with me. Yet look at the millions of people
who raved about it, and neither of us likes oysters.
We're affinities. That's why you see the same sort of
thing all over the place. It's a jolly queer business.

(10:36):
Sometimes makes me believe in reein what's its name? You
know what I mean? All that in the poem, you know,
how does it go? When you were at Tidley om pom,
and I was a thing m a jig dashed brainy
bit of work. I was reading it only the other day. Well,
what I mean to say is it's my belief that
Jimmy Pitt and miss mc keekan are by way of

(10:57):
being something in that line. Doesn't it strike you that
they are just the sort to get on together. You
can see it with half an eye. You can't help
liking a fellow like Jimmy Pitt. He is a sport.
I wish I could tell you some of the things
he's done, but I can't for reasons. But you can
take it from me. He's a sport. You ought to

(11:17):
cultivate him, you'd like him. Oh dash it, there's the music.
I must be off. Got to dance this one. He
rose from his chair and dropped his cigarette into the ashtray.
So long, he said, with a friendly nod. Wish I
could stop, but it's no go. That's the last let
up I shall have to night. He went out, leaving

(11:38):
mister mc keechorn a prey to many and varied emotions.
Chapter twenty nine, the last round. He had only been
gone a few minutes when mister mc keeckurn's meditations were
again interrupted. This time the visitor was a stranger to him,
a dark faced, clean shaven man. He did not wear

(11:59):
evening clothes so could not be one of the guests,
and mister mc kechorn could not place him immediately. Then
he remembered he had seen him in Sir Thomas Blunt's
dressing room. This was Sir Thomas's valet. Might I have
a word with you, sir? What is it? Asked mc keechorn,
staring heavily. His mind had not recovered from the effect

(12:23):
of Lord Dreever's philosophical remarks. There was something of a
cloud on his brain. To judge from his Lordship's words,
Things had been happening behind his back, and the idea
of Molly's deceiving him was too strange to be assimilated.
In an instant, he looked at the valet. Dully, what
is it? He asked again. I must apologize for intruding,

(12:46):
but I thought it best to approach you before making
my report to Sir Thomas. Your report, I am employed
by a private inquiry agency. What yes, Sir Rag's. You
may have heard of us in Holborn Bars, very old
established divorce a specialty. You would have seen the advertisements

(13:09):
Sir Thomas wrote, asking for a man, and the governor
sent me down. I have been with the house for
some years. My job, I gathered was to keep my
eyes open generally, Sir Thomas, it seemed, had no suspicions
of any definite person. I was to be on the
spot just in case, in a manner of speaking, and
it's precious lucky I was, or her Ladyship's jewels would

(13:31):
have been gone. I've done a fair cop this very night.
He paused and eyed the ex policeman. Keenly mc cachrn
was obviously excited. Could Jimmy have made an attempt on
the jewels during the dance or spike say? He said?
Was it a red headed? The detective was watching him

(13:53):
with a curious smile. No, he wasn't red headed. You
seem interested, sir, I thought you would. I will tell
you all about it. I had had my suspicions of
this party ever since they arrived, and I may say
that it struck me at the time that there was
something mighty fishy about the way he got into the castle.

(14:14):
Mc kaechern started, so he had not been the only
one to suspect Jimmy's motives in attaching himself to Lord
Dreaver go on. He said, I suspected that there was
some game on, and it struck me that this would
be the day for the attempt, the house being upside
down in a manner of speaking on account of the theatricals,

(14:36):
and I was right. I kept near the jewels on
and off all day, and presently, just as I had thought,
along comes this fellow. He had hardly got to the
door when I was on him. Good boy, you're no rube.
We fought for a while, but being a bit to
the good in strength and knowing something about the game,

(14:57):
I had the irons on him pretty quick and took
him off and locked him in the cellar. That's how
it was, Sir mister mc Keecorn's relief was overwhelming. If
Lord Dreaver's statement was correct, and Jimmy had really succeeded
in winning Molly's affection, this would indeed be a rescue
at the eleventh hour. It was with a nunk demitius

(15:18):
air that he felt for his cigar case and extended
it toward the detective. A cigar from his own private
case was with him a mark of supreme favor and
good will, a sort of accolade, which he bestowed only
upon the really meritorious view. Usually it was received with
becoming deference, But on this occasion there was a somewhat

(15:40):
startling deviation from routine. For just as he was opening
the case, something cold and hard pressed against each of
his wrists. There was a snap and a click, and
looking up, dazed, he saw that the detective had sprung
back and was contemplating him with a grim smile over
the barrel of an ugly looking little revolver. Guilty or innocent.

(16:04):
The first thing a man does when he finds handcuffs
on his wrists is to try to get them off.
The action is automatic. Mister mc kechorn strained at the
steel chain till the veins stood out on his forehead.
His great body shook with rage. The detective eyed these
efforts with some satisfaction. The picture presented by the other

(16:24):
as he heaved and tugged was that of a guilty
man trapped. It's no good, my friend, he said. The
voice brought mc keechorn back to his senses. In the
first shock of the thing, the primitive man in him
had led him beyond the confines of his self restraint.
He had simply struggled unthinkingly. Now he came back to

(16:46):
himself again. He shook his manacled hands furiously. What does
this mean, he shouted? What the less noise? Said the detective. Sharply,
get back, he snapped, as the other took a step forward.
Do you know who I am? Thundered mc keekern. No,
said the detective, And that's just why you're wearing those bracelets.

(17:10):
Come now, don't be a fool. The game's up. Can't
you see that. Mc keechurn leaned helplessly against the billiard table.
He felt weak. Everything was unreal. Had he gone mad?
He wondered? That's right, said the detective. Stay there, you
can't do any harm there. It was a pretty little game,

(17:31):
I'll admit you worked it well, meeting your old friend
from New York and all, and having him invited to
the castle, very pretty New York. Indeed, seen about as
much of New York as I have of Timbuctoo. I
saw through him. Some inkling of the truth began to
penetrate mc keekern's consciousness. He had become obsessed with the

(17:55):
idea that as the captive was not Spike, it must
be Jimmy. The possibility of mister Galer's being the subject
of discussion only dawned upon him. Now what do you mean,
he cried, Who is it that you have arrested? Blest?
If I know, you can tell me that I should think,
seeing he's an old timbuctool friend of yours. Gala's the

(18:19):
name he goes by here, Gaylor, that's the man. And
do you know what he had the impudence the gall
to tell me that he was in my own line
of business, A detective. He said, you had sent for
him to come here. The detective laughed amusedly at the recollection.

(18:39):
And so he is you fool? So I did? Oh?
You did? Did you? And what business had you bringing
detectives into other people's houses? Mister mc keechern started to answer,
but checked himself. Never before had he appreciated to the
full the depth and truth of the proverb relating to
the front pan and the fire. To clear himself, he

(19:03):
must mention his suspicions of Jimmy, and also his reasons
for those suspicions, and to do that would mean revealing
his past. It was Scylla and charybdis, A drop of
perspiration trickled down his temple. What's the good, said the detective.
Mighty ingenious idea that only you hadn't allowed for there

(19:26):
being a real detective in the house. It was that
chap pitching me that yawn that made me suspicious of you.
I put two and two together, partners, I said to myself,
I'd heard all about you scraping acquaintance with Sir Thomas,
and all mighty and genius. You become the old family friend,
and then you let in your pal. He gets the

(19:48):
stuff and hands it over to you. Nobody dreams of
suspecting you, and there you are. Honestly, now, wasn't that
the game? It's all a mast ach mc keechern was beginning.
When the door handle turned. The detective looked over his shoulder.
Mc keechurn glared dumbly. This was the crowning blow that

(20:11):
there should be spectators of his predicament. Jimmy strolled into
the room. Dreever told me you were in here, He
said to mc keechern, can you spare me a hello?
The detective had pocketed his revolver at the first sound
of the handle. To be discreet was one of the
chief articles in the creed of the young men from
Rag's detective agency. But handcuffs are not easily concealed. Jimmy

(20:36):
stood staring in amazement at mc keechurn's wrists. Some sort
of a round game, he inquired with interest. The detective
became confidential. It's this way, mister Pitt. There's been some
pretty deep work going on here. There's a regular gang
of burglars in the place. This chop here's one of them.

(20:58):
What mister mc keeurn, that's what he calls himself. It
was all Jimmy could do to keep himself from asking
mister mc keeckorn whether he attributed his downfall to drink.
He contented himself with a sorrowful shake of the head
at the fermenting captive. Then he took up the part
of the prisoner's attorney. I don't believe it, he said,

(21:21):
what makes you think so? Why? This afternoon I caught
this man's pal, the fellow that calls himself Gala. I know,
the man said, Jimmy, he's a detective. Really, mister mc
kechern brought him down here. The sleuth's jaw dropped limply,
as if he had received a blow. What he said

(21:43):
in a feeble voice. Didn't I tell you, began mister
mc keeckorn. But the sleuth was occupied with Jimmy. That
sickening premonition of disaster was beginning to steal over him. Dimly,
he began to perceive that he had blundered, Yes, said Jimmy.
Why I can't say. But mister mc hechorn was afraid

(22:07):
some one might try to steal Lady Julia Blunt's rope
of diamonds. So he wrote to London for this man Galer.
It was officious, perhaps, but not criminal. I doubt if
legally you could handcuff a man for a thing like that.
What have you done with good mister Gaylor. I've locked
him in the coal cellar, said the detective, dismally. The

(22:30):
thought of the interview in prospect with the human bloodhound
he had so mishandled was not exhilarating. Locked him in
the cellar, did you, said Jimmy. Well, well, I dare
say he's very happy there. He's probably busy detecting black beetles. Still,
perhaps you had better go and let him out, possibly

(22:52):
if you were to apologize to him, eh, just as
you think. I only suggest if you want somebody to
vow such for mister mc keechern's non burglariousness. I can
do it. He is a gentleman of private means, and
we knew each other out in New York. We are
old acquaintances. I never thought that, said Jimmy, with sympathetic friendliness,

(23:15):
If you will allow me to say so. Is the
cardinal mistake you detectives make. You never do think? It
never occurred to me. The detective looked uneasily at mister
mc keechern. There were indications in the policeman's demeanor that
the moment following release would be devoted exclusively to a

(23:35):
carnival of violence, with a certain sleuth hound playing a
prominent role. He took the key of the handcuffs from
his pocket and toyed with it. Mister mc keechern emitted
a low growl. It was enough if you wouldn't mind,
mister Pitt, said the sleuth obsequiously. He thrust the key
into Jimmy's hands and fled. Jimmy unlocked the handcuffs. Mister

(24:00):
mc kechern rubbed his wrists. Ingenious little things, said Jimmy,
I'm much obliged to you. Growled mister mc keeckern, without
looking up. Not at all a pleasure. This circumstantial evidence
thing is the devil, isn't it. I knew a man
who broke into a house in New York to win

(24:21):
a bet, and to this day the owner of that
house thinks him a professional burglar. Who's that? Said mister
mc keeckern, sharply, Why do I say a man? Why
am I so elusive and mysterious? You're quite right, it
sounds more dramatic, but after all, what you want is facts.

(24:43):
Very well, I broke into your house that night to
win a bet. That's the limpid truth. Mc keechurn was
staring at him. Jimmy proceeded, you are just about to
ask what was Spike Mullins doing with me? Well, Spy
had broken into my flat an hour before, and I
took him along with me as a sort of guide

(25:05):
philosopher and friend. Spike Mullen said, you were burglar from England.
I'm afraid I rather led him to think so. I
had been to see the opening performance of a burglar
play called Love the Cracksman that night, and I worked
off on Spike some severely technical information I received from

(25:26):
a pal of mine who played the lead in the show.
I told you when I came in that I had
been talking to Lord Dreever Well. What he was saying
to me was that he had met this very actor man,
a fellow called Mifflin, Arthur Mifflin in London just before
he met me. He's in London now, rehearsing for a

(25:47):
show that's come over from America. You see the importance
of this item. It means that if you doubt my story,
all you have to do is find Mifflin. I forgot
what theater's play is coming on at, but you could
find out in a second and ask him to corroborate.
Are you satisfied? Mc keechurn did not answer. An hour before,

(26:10):
he would have fought to the last ditch for his
belief in Jimmy's crookedness, but the events of the last
ten minutes had shaken him. He could not forget that
it was Jimmy who had extricated him from a very
uncomfortable position. He saw now that that position was not
so bad as it had seemed at the time. For
the establishing of the innocence of mister Gaylor could have

(26:31):
been effected on the morrow by an exchange of telegrams
between the Castle and Dodson's private inquiry agency. Yet it
had certainly been bad enough, but for Jimmy there would
have been several hours of acute embarrassment, if nothing worse.
He felt something of a reaction in Jimmy's favor. Still,

(26:51):
it is hard to overcome a deep rooted prejudice in
an instant, he stared doubtfully. See here, mister mc keeckern,
said Jimmy, I wish you would listen quietly to me
for a minute or two. There's really no reason on
earth why we should be at one another's throats in
this way. We might just as well be friends. Let's

(27:13):
shake and call the fight off. I guess you know
why I came in here to see you. Mc keekurn
did not speak. You know that your daughter has broken
off her engagement to Lord Driver. Then he was right,
said mc keekern, half to himself. It is you. Jimmy nodded.

(27:34):
Mc keekurn, drummed his fingers on the table and gazed
thoughtfully at him. Is Molly, he said, at length, Does Molly? Yes,
said Jimmy. Mc keekern continued his drumming. Don't think there's
been anything underhand about this, said Jimmy. She absolutely refused

(27:55):
to do anything unless you gave her consent. She said
you had been partners all her life, and she was
going to do the square thing by you. She did,
said mc keechorn eagerly. I think you ought to do
the square thing by her. I'm not much, but she
wants me do the square thing by her. He stretched

(28:16):
out his hand, but he saw that the other did
not notice the movement. Mc keekern was staring straight in
front of him. There was a look in his eyes
that Jimmy had never seen there before, a frightened, hunted look.
The rugged aggressiveness of his mouth and chin showed up
in strange contrast, the knuckles of his clenched fists were white.

(28:39):
It's too late, he burst out. I'll be square with
her now, but it's too late. I won't stand in
her way when I can make her happy, but I'll
lose her. Oh my god, I'll lose her. He gripped
the edge of the table. Do you think I had
never said to myself? He went on, the things you

(29:00):
said to me that day when we met here. Do
you think I didn't know what I was. Who should
know it better than myself? But she didn't. I'd kept
it from her. I'd sweat for fear she would find
out some day. When I came over here, I thought
I was safe, And then you came and I saw

(29:20):
you together. I thought you were a crook. You were
with Mullins in New York. I told her you were
a crook. You told her that, I said, I knew it.
I couldn't tell her the truth. Why I thought so,
I said, I had made inquiries in New York and
found out about you. Jimmy saw now the mystery was solved.

(29:44):
So that was why Molly had allowed them to force
her into the engagement with Driaver. For a moment, a
rush of anger filled him, but he looked at mc
keechern and it died away. He could not be vindictive now,
it would be like hitting a beaten man. He saw
things suddenly from the other's viewpoint, and he pitied him.

(30:07):
I see, he said slowly. Mc keekurn gripped the table
in silence. I see, said Jimmy again. You mean she'll
want an explanation, He thought. For a moment, you must
tell her, he said quickly. For your own sake, you
must tell her. Go and do it now. Wake up man.

(30:30):
He shook him by the shoulder. Go and do it now.
She'll forgive you. Don't be afraid of that. Go and
look for her and tell her now. Mc keekern roused himself.
I will, he said, It's the only way, said Jimmy.
Mc keekern opened the door, then fell back a pace.

(30:51):
Jimmy could hear voices in the passage outside. He recognized
Lord Dreevers. Mc keekrn continued to back away from the door.
Lord Dreaver entered with Molly on his arm. Hello, said
his lordship, looking around, hullo pitt here we all are
what Lord Dreaver wanted to smoke? Said Molly. She smiled,

(31:14):
but there was anxiety in her eyes. She looked quickly
at her father and at Jimmy. Molly, my dear, said
mc keekorn. Huskily, I need to speak to you for
a moment. Jimmy took his lordship by the arm. Come along, Dreaver,
he said, you can come and sit out with me.

(31:35):
We'll go and smoke on the terrace. They left the
room together. What does the old boy want inquired his lordship,
are you and miss mc kkan, We are, said Jimmy.
By jove, I say o chap million, congratulations and all
that sort of rot. You know. Thanks, said Jimmy. Have

(31:56):
a cigarette. His Lordship had to resume his duties in
the ball room after a while, but Jimmy sat on
smoking and thinking. The night was very still now and
then a sparrow would rustle in the ivy on the
castle wall, and somewhere in the distance a dog was barking.
The music had begun again in the ball room. It

(32:17):
sounded faint and thin where he sat in the general stillness.
The opening of the door at the top of the
steps came sharply to his ears. He looked up. Two
figures were silhouetted for a moment against the light, and
then the door closed again. They began to move slowly
down the steps. Jimmy recognized them. He got up. He

(32:38):
was in the shadow. They could not see him. They
began to walk down the terrace. They were quite close now.
Neither was speaking, but presently, when they were but a
few feet away, they stopped. There was the splutter of
a match, and mc keechrn lighted a cigar in the
yellow light, his face was clearly visible. Jimmy looked and

(33:01):
was content. He edged softly toward the shrubbery at the
edge of the terrace, and, entering it without a sound,
began to make his way back to the house. Chapter
thirty conclusion. The American liner Saint Louis lay in the
Empress Dock at Southampton, taking aboard her passengers. All sorts

(33:25):
and conditions of men flowed in an unceasing stream up
the gangway. Leaning over the second class railing, Jimmy Pitt
and Spike Mullins watched them thoughtfully. Jimmy looked up at
the blue peter that fluttered from the foremast, and then
at Spike. The bowery boy's face was stolid and expressionless.

(33:46):
He was smoking a short wooden pipe with an air
of detachment. Well, Spike said, Jimmy, you're schooner's on the
tide now, isn't it. Your vessel's at the quay. You've
got some queer looking fellow travelers. Don't miss the two
singlelyese sports and the man in the turban and the
baggy breeches. I wonder if they're air tight useful if

(34:08):
he fell overboard, sure, said Spike, directing a contemplative eye
toward the garment in question. He knows his business. I
wonder what those men on the deck are writing. They've
been scribbling away ever since we came here. Probably society journalists,

(34:28):
we shall see in next week's papers. Among the second
class passengers, we noticed mister Spike Mullins looking as cheery
as ever. It's a pity you're so set on going, Spike.
Why not change your mind and stop for a moment.
Spike looked wistful. Then his countenance resumed its woodenness. There

(34:50):
ain't no use for me on this side, boss, he said.
New York's de spot youse. Don't want none o me.
And now you're married, how's miss Molly splendid? Spike? Thanks,
We're going over to France by tonight's boat. It's been
a queer business, Jimmy continued, after a pause, a deuced

(35:12):
queer business. Still, I've come very well out of it.
At any rate. It seems to me that you're the
only one of us who doesn't end happily, Spike. I'm married.
Mc Keeckard's butted into society so deep that it would
take an excavating party with dynamite to get him out
of it. Molly, Well, Molly's made a bad bargain, but

(35:35):
I hope she won't regret it. We're all going some
except you. You're going out on the old trail again,
which begins in third Avenue and ends in sing sing,
why tear yourself away? Spike. Spike concentrated his gaze on
a weedy young emigrant in a blue Jersey who was
having his eye examined by the overworked doctor and seemed

(35:58):
to be resenting it. There's nothing doing on this side, Boss,
he said, at length, I want to get busy. You
Lisses Mullins said Jimmy, looking at him curiously. I know
the feeling. There's only one cure. I sketched it out
for you once, but I guess you'll never take it.

(36:19):
You don't think a lot of women, do you. You're
the rugged bachelor Goyle's began Spike comprehensively and abandon the
topic without dilating on it further. Jimmy lighted his pipe
and threw the match overboard. The sun came out from
behind a cloud and the water sparkled. Those were great jewels,

(36:41):
Boss said, Spike thoughtfully. I believe you're still brooding over them. Spike,
we could have got away with em if yous would
have stood for it dead easy. You are brooding over them, Spike.
I'll tell you something which will consule you a little
before you start out on your wanderings. It's in confidence,

(37:04):
so keep it dark. That necklace was paste. What's that?
Nothing but paste? I got next directly you handed them
to me. They weren't worth a hundred dollars. A light
of understanding came into Spike's eyes. His face beamed with
a smile of one to whom dark matters are made clear.

(37:28):
So that's why you wouldn't stand for gettin away with em,
he exclaimed. The end of the Intrusion of Jimmy by P. G.
Woodhouse