August 5, 2025 • 28 mins
Enjoy "The Jack Benny Collection," a showcase of the best episodes from the legendary comedian's radio show. Experience the timeless humor, memorable characters, and witty scripts that made Jack Benny a household name. Perfect for fans of classic comedy and radio history, this collection offers a window into the golden age of entertainment.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
The Jello program Sorry Jack, Betty with Barry Livingston, Phil Harris,
Dennis Day, and yours truly.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Don Wilson.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
The Orchestra has a program with I Must have one Kiss,
Kiss Kiss. If you ever had a chance to speak
(00:32):
into some of the quaint old cookbooks of centuries past,
you may have noticed that many of the meat recipes
begin with the amusing words first catch your foul well.
In much the same way, many of the finest dessert
recipes today might begin with first get some jello. Or
with jello in your kitchen cupboard, you're all set to
make some of the grandest desserts you ever dreamed of.
No matter how you serve it, jello will prove the
(00:54):
masterpiece of the meal. Perfectly plain in a mold of
brilliant color crimson strawberry, golden lemon, or sea green lime,
cut into shimmering little cubes, or whipped up into a
beautiful fluffy likeness, or molded in colorful layers. Jello is
always extra good because it has extra rich flavor, a
flavor that rivals the real ripe fruit itself. Just be
(01:15):
sure to get genuine jello when you buy, because the
name jello is a trademark the property of General Foods.
So look for those big red letters on the box.
They spelled jello. That was I must have one more kiss, Kiss, Kiss,
(01:46):
played by the orchestra. And now, ladies and gentlemen, once
again we bring you our master of ceremonies, that genial
host of Beverly Hills, whose Thanksgiving body last Thursday will
never be forgotten.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
I'll never forget it.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
A man who spared no expense to ensure the success
of this delightful.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
Occasion, Mary please, A man whose social gatherings have made him.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
The part of the film Colony.
Speaker 4 (02:10):
Thank you, Don, A host.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
That Who's Dinners.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
The second cup of coffee is always free, Jack Benny, thank.
Speaker 4 (02:22):
You the log again there's a Jack Benny talking and Don,
I'm glad you had such a nice time at my
Thanksgiving party. But what did you mean the second cup
of coffee was free?
Speaker 2 (02:30):
I was only kidding Jack. Mary was revving you, so
I thought i'd join in. It was really a grand evening.
Speaker 4 (02:35):
Well, thanks Don, and it's for you, Miss Livington. That's
the last time you'll ever have dinner at my house.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
Oh Jack, you'll be so tacky. Well, who wouldn't be See,
you're getting so sensitive lately. It's simply awful.
Speaker 4 (02:44):
Just the same, you're not eating at my house anymore.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
Who cares? My ticket has punched out anyway, My that's comical.
Speaker 4 (02:54):
Ha ha. You know it seems strange, Mary, but you're
the only one that gets bored when I invite the
gang over. Hey, Peil, what is it, Jackson? You have
a good time at my Thanksgiving party? Yes, the first
time I ever got a hangover from a turkey. Man.
You don't have to tell me how you got a hangover.
You were doing all right long before you came to
my house. What do you mean when I opened the
front door you fell in like a body and a
(03:15):
murder mystery. Not only that, you brought me a manhole cover.
So don't blame it on the turkey.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Hey Don, you're all right, jack Personally, I thought the
turkey had a delicious flavor, although it was a little.
Speaker 4 (03:32):
Tough to Why Don, how can you say that? With
us tender as it could be? A turkey wasn't a
bit tough go on?
Speaker 3 (03:38):
It had muscles like earl Leiderman.
Speaker 4 (03:42):
Oh it did well, It's too bad it was so Viera.
Next time, I'll get a turkey that walks around with
his wing on his hip. Maybe you like that better?
Speaker 3 (03:56):
And oh boy, the soupia served you don't feel it
reminded me of that new picture?
Speaker 4 (04:00):
What picture the rain came? I suppose it wasn't a
head Listen, fellas, of my party was such a big flop?
How did it happen to crash the newspapers? It was
right on the society page of the Beverly Hills Citizen,
the Beverly Hill Citizens. Yes, Don, I got it right here.
Get this here, read it to him.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
Mary, Okay, you suffer from mickey skin.
Speaker 5 (04:22):
It's so tight.
Speaker 4 (04:23):
It's on the other tie. Here. Give me that, I'll
read it. Listen, fellas, Jack Benny entertained, that's the headline.
Last Thursday night, at his cozy home on Roxbury Drive,
Jack Benny, Star of Stage, Screen and Radio, gave the
outstanding party of the social season. Among those present were
Mary Livingston, Don Wilson, Missus Lucretia Day and her son,
(04:45):
Dennis Bill Harris, Andy Devine and mister homer.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
T Schmick homer t Schmidt.
Speaker 4 (04:52):
Who was he?
Speaker 2 (04:53):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (04:53):
He was a fellow that delivered the ice cream and
wouldn't go home. Go ahead, Mary, you're reading it. Oh yes.
Speaker 6 (05:04):
Among those among.
Speaker 4 (05:06):
Those unable to attend this simulating event were Clark Gable
and Carol.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
Lombard Can they come poking?
Speaker 4 (05:12):
Robert Taylor and Barbara Sandwich, Carlo and Power and Annabella
the Fred mc murray's, and missus Homer t schmink. A
good time was had by all. How's that for a
write up?
Speaker 3 (05:28):
Let me see that.
Speaker 4 (05:29):
Jack, Here you are Mary, Look at that big print
on top, Jack, Benny entertains.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
Yeah, look at that little print at the bottom.
Speaker 4 (05:34):
ADVT ADVT.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
Yes, that means an ad and you paid for it.
Speaker 4 (05:40):
It means nothing of the cond Oh wait a minute, Jackson.
ADVT means a paidad in any newspaper in the country.
Not in this case, Phil, And what does it mean?
ADVT means a dinner viit turkey. That's what it means,
fit turkey.
Speaker 3 (05:59):
Yes, oh, Jack, you're.
Speaker 4 (06:03):
All right, Mary, I don't care what you say. I
consider that a very lovely nervous It certainly was.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
It certainly was, Jackis you know what I enjoyed most
of the party?
Speaker 4 (06:14):
What done?
Speaker 2 (06:14):
The games we played after Jean was fun, wasn't it?
Speaker 4 (06:17):
Yeah, those games are silly, but it's great when you
play the old ones, like spin the bottle, pin the
tail on the donkeys.
Speaker 6 (06:22):
Holy smokes, did we play games?
Speaker 4 (06:24):
Yes? Phil, we pinned the tail on you eight times
and you didn't even feel it. And you know why, No, fool,
say Jackson. I meant to ask you something. Who was
that cute girl I was dancing with all evening?
Speaker 7 (06:37):
Uh?
Speaker 4 (06:37):
Forget it, Phil? Oh?
Speaker 6 (06:38):
No, who was that girl I was dancing with? You know,
the one in the ermine wrapped?
Speaker 4 (06:42):
Phil? I said, forget it, forget us nothing. She was
a cute kid, and I want to call her up.
All right, Phil, that cut was Carmichael. That's who you
were dancing with. I thought she had a cold nose.
(07:04):
You and Carme were certainly the life of the party.
Speaker 8 (07:07):
Oh hello, Dennis, Hello mister Venni. He had a good
time at your house Thursday night, the dinner would well.
Speaker 4 (07:12):
Well, I'm glad you liked it, Dennis. And incidentally, you're
still new on the program. And I don't want to
be bossy or anything, but you know, we never chew
gum during a broadcast, so please throw it away.
Speaker 6 (07:23):
I'm not chewing gum now.
Speaker 8 (07:24):
Dennis, this is a piece of turkey from your Thanksgiving party.
Speaker 4 (07:32):
Oh well, you must have got the only tough pee.
Your mother didn't have any trouble, Dennis. She had two
wings and a drumstick. Where is she lat on her back? Why, Dennis,
you mean your mother's ill? They are the turkey gotter?
Theyll It couldn't have been the turkey, or maybe it
was a dressing. Donald, wasn't the turkey, and it wasn't
a dressing.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
Couldn't have been the butter. We didn't have any.
Speaker 4 (07:55):
Listen, Mary, you don't need butter. When you have gravy.
You can put gravy on the breast of coursing. You
don't like, then stay home for heaven's sake. A big
issue over butter and gravy. Now, let's forget about my party.
I don't know what you kids are complaining about. I
got a big piece of butter. I certainly all you
had to do was ask for down, ask for a
piece of butter, and I gave it to him.
Speaker 3 (08:13):
He had a Brandish finger firs.
Speaker 4 (08:15):
Well, and what's the argument. Butter is very good on
a burn.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
I suppose it's no good on bread?
Speaker 7 (08:20):
All right?
Speaker 4 (08:26):
The next time you fella come to my house, I'm
gonna have nothing but butter. Just plain butter, a great
big hunk of butter.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
Shaid they come, farmer, Yeah, come farmer.
Speaker 4 (08:36):
Let's drop it now, Dennis, Yes, please, let's have your song,
please before I lose my temper. Please you and your please.
Speaker 6 (08:43):
You wouldn't talk like that if my mother was here.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
Oh I wouldn't they listen, Dennis. I'll meet your mother anytime,
any place, any weight. And that goes for your father too.
Speaker 6 (08:56):
If you can lick mother, you got a pinch with Pa.
Speaker 4 (08:58):
I wouldn't be surprised. And I go Hea, you're gone.
Speaker 6 (09:01):
So we come for.
Speaker 9 (09:16):
All river whatever, right, remember right, remember.
Speaker 7 (09:34):
Forever and thankful for you.
Speaker 6 (09:41):
Well, keep mind.
Speaker 7 (09:45):
Remambla.
Speaker 4 (09:49):
We maybe upon.
Speaker 7 (09:52):
No and avile all of you. In my heart. You're
in my eye. Bargain say a River.
Speaker 5 (10:11):
My epromis to be for all away for our LoVa hates.
Speaker 10 (10:27):
You are created just for me, and so if ever
we ever rages, I.
Speaker 7 (10:39):
Will be.
Speaker 5 (10:42):
Thea for river my EPROMI to.
Speaker 7 (10:51):
Oway very good.
Speaker 4 (11:15):
That was faithful Forever, sung by Dennis Day and accompanied
by the orchestra who were still playing I must have
one more. Kiss, kiss, kiss, and you both did very well.
By the way, Dennis, I'm sorry I spoke so sharply
to you a little while ago, but I was rather
annoyed and I took it out on you.
Speaker 6 (11:33):
Oh that's all right, mister Benny.
Speaker 4 (11:34):
You're about the only one around here shows me any respect.
So just keep on being a good boy, That's all
I ask you. Know, there's a certain formula for getting
along with me, Dennis, be grateful, act to life, and.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
Let Jack save your money.
Speaker 4 (11:46):
Nice thing. Mary. Listen, Mary, I've had just about enough
of those insults and gagged at my expense. If you
and Geronimo don't like it, why don't you why to
go out and get your own program.
Speaker 6 (12:01):
We've been thinking about that.
Speaker 4 (12:02):
Oh you have, Sure, there's plenty of job for a
guy like me. Oh there are. Well, Phil, let me
ask you something. Have you ever driven your car across
the Mahabi Desert?
Speaker 6 (12:10):
Sure?
Speaker 2 (12:11):
Why?
Speaker 4 (12:11):
Well, did you ever notice that just before you start
across the desert, right on the edge of it, there's
a gas station that says last chan, Yeah, what about it? Well,
three years ago, when you got a job on this program,
I was that gas station. Just remember that.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
What are you talking about?
Speaker 4 (12:28):
Three years ago?
Speaker 6 (12:29):
My band was the hottest thing in pound.
Speaker 4 (12:30):
Sure, was the hottest thing in town. You were working
in a barbecue pit, Sam's rib joint.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
Music.
Speaker 4 (12:41):
Why you munch?
Speaker 3 (12:44):
So?
Speaker 4 (12:45):
Don't tell me? Oh, we all have her.
Speaker 6 (12:46):
Up some downs.
Speaker 4 (12:47):
I'm considered the top fan leader today. Oh you are
a right now.
Speaker 6 (12:50):
I'm at the pe knuckle of my career.
Speaker 4 (12:55):
Peanutle Oh boy, what a guy? You know?
Speaker 2 (12:58):
Phil.
Speaker 4 (12:59):
Sometimes when I look at you, all I can do
is shake my head. Just shake my head.
Speaker 3 (13:03):
You wouldn't if you could stop it.
Speaker 4 (13:07):
A good stiff collar. I'll take care of that and
you and miss Living said. What I said about mister
Harris goes for you too. You're very lucky to be here. So, yes,
that's so. You were on this program two years before
you realize I wasn't a floor walker. And take that
pencil out of your hair? Boy, am I clicking the knife?
Speaker 3 (13:34):
That's your teeth?
Speaker 4 (13:37):
My head shakes and my teeth click. I'm doing quite
a rumba above my shoulder. Now get away from me.
Oh my goodness, Jack, But you're sure cracking the whip tonight.
Why what'son? I'll give you just two seconds to say
something above jello.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
Yes, sir, ladies and gentlemen, the next time you go
to your neighborhood grocer, but sure to ask him for
a package of jello.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
It comes in six delicious slaves.
Speaker 11 (13:56):
Well what are they name?
Speaker 1 (13:58):
Yes, sir, strawberry, raspberry, cherry ours, leminon lunch.
Speaker 4 (14:01):
All right, what do you look for? What do you
look for?
Speaker 6 (14:05):
Be sure to look for the big red letters on
the box.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
It fell jealous?
Speaker 4 (14:08):
Okay, not go and sit down. Now, ladies and general
will have a number by Phil Harrison his orchestra. Get moving, buddy, Yes,
mister legree, I'll snap into it. What are you laughing at?
Speaker 3 (14:22):
You remind me of another effective.
Speaker 4 (14:24):
Never mind the Devil. Well, maybe I did lose my
head played Bilge. I'm a regular Doctor Jekyll and mister Hyde.
(16:33):
That was east of the border, played by Phil Harrison
his orders. And now ladies and Jaie, wait a minute,
that was south of the border. I know, Phil. That
was just my way of saying you were off the beam.
And now, ladies and John hold on, Jack.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
Perhaps it's none of my business and I don't want
to try to run things around here, But don't you
think you ought.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
To calm down a little. Well, don't let everything get
your gold.
Speaker 4 (16:55):
Well, I guess you're right now. Maybe I did fly
off the handle tonight, but I'm not going to let
it happen again. The next party I give, I won't
invite anybody, and there won't be any complaints. I just
sit there all by myself, just me, just plain me.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
And a big hunk of butter.
Speaker 4 (17:14):
At least I'll be happy. That's not asking too much.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
Well, Jack, I just can't hold out any longer. This
whole thing was a rib a rib. Yeah, every one
of us thought that dinner yours was marblous.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
No kidding, Jack. The turkey was deliquor best I aver tasted.
Speaker 4 (17:27):
Oh it was a yeah. The peace I got a swell. Well,
Dennis stopped chewing it. Give up already. Well, you fellas
enjoyed the turkey A we care dead well, kids, I
can't hold out any longer either, to show you guys,
you know nothing about food. That bird I served Thursday
night wasn't turkey at all.
Speaker 3 (17:47):
It wasn't turkey.
Speaker 4 (17:48):
It was it was duck, wild duck. I shot him myself.
Speaker 6 (17:51):
Who held him?
Speaker 4 (17:54):
Nobody held him. I shot him right out of the air.
Merry was with me?
Speaker 3 (17:56):
You mean when we were out honey with any divine.
Speaker 4 (17:58):
Yeah, So don't pan the food when you don't even
know what you're eating.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
So you were duck hunting with Annie? How was it fun? Oh?
Speaker 3 (18:04):
You should have been there?
Speaker 7 (18:04):
Done?
Speaker 3 (18:05):
Jack was a stream. Never mind, boy, what he doesn't
know about a gun?
Speaker 4 (18:08):
I know plenty about guns. Mary. When I was on
the rifle team in Walkegan, they used to call me Bullseye,
Benny Bullseyes.
Speaker 3 (18:15):
I can make a charters mask.
Speaker 4 (18:26):
All right, forget it. What happened at the Dutch hunt Berry, Well,
it's not important.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
Well, Jack and I left Tuesday and stay overnight at annie.
Speaker 6 (18:33):
Crane, And about four o'clock.
Speaker 3 (18:35):
The next morning, I was down in the kitchen helping
Annie's mother get breakfast. Well, anyway, Annie went upstairs to
wake up Jack, and pretty soon we heard him hollering, Hey, Buck,
it's four o'clock.
Speaker 11 (18:45):
Hey fuck, it's four o'clock. Come on, we gotta get going.
Speaker 4 (18:53):
Hello again, Hello Andy, what's the matter?
Speaker 11 (18:56):
If you want to shoot any Dutch we better get started.
Speaker 4 (19:00):
Eddie, I'll be dressing a minute. Oh boy, I'm.
Speaker 6 (19:08):
Gee.
Speaker 11 (19:08):
Fuck you sure Luk's finding him that nightgown.
Speaker 4 (19:12):
What's wrong with my nightgown? You look like a bride
with that long train. That's not a train. My zipper
got caught in the sheet.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
Where's Mary?
Speaker 11 (19:28):
She's downstairs with mom getting breakfast ready?
Speaker 4 (19:31):
What Mary living? Sent up at four o'clock in the morning. Oh, boy,
I bet he's grouchy. Oh no, Box, she's cheerful as
a large Oh she can't be.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
He is too. I'm telling this story. Well, anyway, John
Andy came downstairs and Jack went over to the bunk
house to wake up Rochester.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
Rochester with you.
Speaker 3 (19:47):
Yeah, Jack thought he'd make a good retriever. So Jack
went over to get Rochester, and he had an awful
time waking him up. He's been hearing yelling.
Speaker 4 (19:56):
At the top of his boy, Rochester, Hey, Rochester, Come on, Rochester, Rochester.
We gotta get going, Rochester, wake up?
Speaker 11 (20:16):
What time is the sugar?
Speaker 4 (20:32):
It's four o'clock and it's me. I'll get up.
Speaker 11 (20:34):
Can I sleep a little longer?
Speaker 4 (20:35):
No, you can't. The ducks are waiting for us.
Speaker 11 (20:37):
Boy's anything that waits for me at four o'clock in
the morning. Bit'll pull up a chair and relax.
Speaker 4 (20:44):
Don't be silly, Rochester. How can a duck pull up
a chair? Sit down, boys, and we'll discuss it. Never mind,
all you get up out of that bed and make
it snappy. Come on, just dug outside now, quit stalling.
I'll give you just three to get up. One two three, Rochester.
(21:05):
If you don't get up right away, you're gonna miss breakfast.
Speaker 11 (21:08):
I'm gonna score and lash too.
Speaker 4 (21:18):
All right, very well, I'm going into breakfast right now.
And for your information, Rochester, we're having pork chops.
Speaker 11 (21:23):
Sence the avenue Phasons.
Speaker 4 (21:24):
Yeah, I thought so, I'll hurry it up.
Speaker 3 (21:30):
Well, Donald, was about five o'clock and we finished breakfast,
and then we started out for the duck pont.
Speaker 2 (21:34):
But Mary, you're not allowed to shoot ducks that early
in the morning, are you no?
Speaker 3 (21:36):
Down? We had to wait about an hour, but you
can hear them all over the place. There were hundreds
of them.
Speaker 4 (21:45):
Oh boy, get a load of those of ducks. Give
me my gun, Rochester. There's a baby I got my
eye on.
Speaker 11 (21:49):
Hey, y'all boy, And wait a minute, Buck. You can't
shoot any duck till seven o'clock.
Speaker 4 (21:54):
Oh yes, Donald, why.
Speaker 3 (21:55):
Don't you take a shot at that tree just for
practice practice.
Speaker 4 (21:58):
Don't worry about me, Mary. I've had a gun.
Speaker 3 (22:00):
Before, yeah, but it had a carp in the end
of it.
Speaker 4 (22:07):
I mean a shotgun.
Speaker 11 (22:08):
Say buck, I'm meant to tell you that gun.
Speaker 4 (22:10):
I'll let you have.
Speaker 11 (22:11):
It's got a powerful kick when it goes off. Better
be careful, I will.
Speaker 4 (22:18):
Indeed, you're worse than Mary. I got a gun at home,
just like this, A twelve millimeter millimeter you mean, Gaine
or whatever it is. I got one. I know how
to handle it.
Speaker 3 (22:29):
You ought to try it out.
Speaker 4 (22:30):
Okay, I'll show you get some fancy shooting. See that
orange hanging on that tree over there, watch me knock
it all.
Speaker 3 (22:35):
That's the sun, it just came up.
Speaker 4 (22:40):
I'll show you something else. Here's a real trick. Hey, Rochester,
put this tin can on your head and wholesale.
Speaker 11 (22:45):
I'll wait a minute, ball, Come on.
Speaker 4 (22:46):
Rochester, put this can on your head and I'll shoot
it all. Don't be scared.
Speaker 11 (22:50):
That's fine.
Speaker 4 (22:50):
The sun is noise, and he tells me not to be.
Rochester is a very simple trick. I saw a man
do it and vater them.
Speaker 11 (22:59):
Well, wall dead, and I'm gonna tell the move over.
Speaker 4 (23:05):
Oh boy, what a baby. Didn't you ever hear the
story about Williams Tel he shot an apple off his
son's head.
Speaker 11 (23:11):
Well, get here while wait.
Speaker 4 (23:16):
All right, if you don't want to play, don't play.
I never saw a guy worry so much. Hey, Andy,
come here a minute.
Speaker 11 (23:20):
What do you want, Buck?
Speaker 4 (23:21):
Hold your cigarette up in the air. I'll shoot it
out of your finger.
Speaker 6 (23:24):
Nothing doing, Buck, I gotta unlace my shoes tonight.
Speaker 4 (23:28):
What a game? No one's game to do anything?
Speaker 3 (23:30):
Well, if you want to tie off the gun, why
don't you shoo it that elm tree over there?
Speaker 4 (23:33):
All right, I'll bore a hole right through it.
Speaker 11 (23:35):
I'll be careful of that gun.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
It kicks like a mule.
Speaker 4 (23:38):
Oh Andy, let me alone, will you? I watch everybody?
I'm even right for that tree. Suppose I don't have
a hole of gun.
Speaker 11 (23:44):
I wait a minute, butt, just closed one eye.
Speaker 3 (23:47):
Oh that's right, and take your finger out of your
ear now, he don't distract me.
Speaker 4 (23:53):
All right? Here I go rain aim fire osted. But yeah,
pick me up. Andy. You were right about that gun.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
Oh Jack took that big clock of ducks over there
in that cove, big tack one.
Speaker 11 (24:14):
You miss sneak overate hides the pusher.
Speaker 4 (24:16):
Yeah, we'll be all ready for him at seven o'clock.
I'll be quiet everybody. See Andy, how many ducks are
we allowed to get? I mean, wats the limit?
Speaker 3 (24:23):
Tenn p?
Speaker 4 (24:24):
Oh boy? What he does?
Speaker 6 (24:26):
I remember Rochester?
Speaker 4 (24:26):
All the ducks I shoot, you will have to carry home?
Speaker 11 (24:28):
Pulls him with duck? My slow enough be to hit
Hi too old.
Speaker 4 (24:31):
Eve, don't worry. You just swim out and get him
every time I hit him.
Speaker 3 (24:39):
Here we are now, Oh Jack, Look at that cute
little duck in the water and it sound asleep.
Speaker 4 (24:44):
Yeah, I'll wake that baby up in a few minutes.
Speaker 3 (24:47):
No, you won't look when he got around his neck?
What an alarm clock and a teck for a quarter
to seven?
Speaker 4 (24:54):
Oh, don't be silly. See I wish it was time already.
I can hardly wait till I start blasting away. Take
it easy, buck, I will and even see I'm kind
of anxious to get Oh darn it.
Speaker 11 (25:08):
Fuck, I told you.
Speaker 6 (25:09):
Not to shoot before seven o'clock.
Speaker 4 (25:11):
I didn't shoot, Andy, I dropped my gun and went
off by accident.
Speaker 11 (25:15):
What's that?
Speaker 4 (25:19):
Oh boy? And I wasn't even naming at him. Only
nine to go, kid, Wow? This is fun. What a dust?
Speaker 3 (25:25):
He's a beauty, isn't it, Jack?
Speaker 11 (25:26):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (25:27):
It is pretty. Gee?
Speaker 3 (25:29):
Look at those eyes.
Speaker 4 (25:30):
Yeah, look at those eyes. Guys. I didn't know ducks
had blue eyes. And look at that sad face. Ain't
a sad looking gee? I didn't mean to kid.
Speaker 11 (25:44):
What's the matter Buck?
Speaker 4 (25:45):
Nothing? Andy? You look at that poor little duck. Gosh,
I don't see how people can kill a little thing
like that.
Speaker 3 (25:52):
Wasn't your Paul, Jack, I know it wasn't marry either.
Speaker 4 (25:56):
Gosh, blue eyes. Just think of minute of gold was alive,
flying through the air, happy and gay. It didn't I
didn't know it was gonna die. Oh, I don't know
why I came out here.
Speaker 11 (26:10):
Oh fucke, it was just an accident.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
You will get over it.
Speaker 4 (26:14):
I will get over it.
Speaker 3 (26:15):
You're not to blame Jack.
Speaker 5 (26:17):
I'm a murderer. That's what I asked, A murderer. Kill her.
Speaker 6 (26:22):
Benny, Come on, Mary, let's go home.
Speaker 11 (26:26):
Rocketer. You're stay here with mister divine.
Speaker 6 (26:28):
Not me.
Speaker 11 (26:29):
Walt, I can't say it.
Speaker 7 (26:30):
I'm wall.
Speaker 4 (26:37):
All right, Rocketer. If you're so sad, put down that junk.
Speaker 5 (26:40):
So long and so.
Speaker 7 (26:45):
Long, so.
Speaker 3 (26:56):
You see, don that's exactly what happened when Jack went
on a hunting trip.
Speaker 2 (26:59):
But Mary, if that's the case, where did Jack get
the wild ducks.
Speaker 6 (27:01):
For the dinner he bottom in the market?
Speaker 3 (27:03):
They weren't any wilder than he is.
Speaker 4 (27:05):
Well, at least my conscience is clear. I can sleep
night play fill.
Speaker 6 (27:13):
In.
Speaker 1 (27:13):
All foreign visitors to this country look upon the average
American supper table.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
It's one of the wonders of the world. And I
agree with them. Why every night of the year, the
American table laden.
Speaker 1 (27:22):
With foods that are fit for the key, yet their
common items and the simplest American menu such delicacies, for example,
is jello chocolate pudding, a rich, marvelously smooth dessert that's
crammed as a full, satisfying flavor like the old fashioned
pudding your mother used to make. But yellow chocolate pudding
is quick and easy. You can serve it in any
number of tempting ways, dressed up with whipped cream, chopped nuts,
(27:44):
and maroscina cherries. You can make a swell chocolate pie
filling with it, or use it or a satin smooth
chocolate sauce. And there's jellow butterscotch pudding with its warm mellow,
golden taste. And a jello vanilla pudding jelicate and creamy
and extralicious with fruits or nuts full there. They're all
swell to eat, they're all easy to make. So get
(28:04):
jello puddings tomorrow, chocolate, butterscotch and vanilla, and you'll know
why all America is raving about these new desserts.
Speaker 4 (28:15):
We're a little late, so good night, folks.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
Oh this is the national broadcast in company
The Jello program Sorry Jack, Betty with Barry Livingston, Phil Harris,
Dennis Day, and yours truly.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Don Wilson.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
The Orchestra has a program with I Must have one Kiss,
Kiss Kiss. If you ever had a chance to speak
(00:32):
into some of the quaint old cookbooks of centuries past,
you may have noticed that many of the meat recipes
begin with the amusing words first catch your foul well.
In much the same way, many of the finest dessert
recipes today might begin with first get some jello. Or
with jello in your kitchen cupboard, you're all set to
make some of the grandest desserts you ever dreamed of.
No matter how you serve it, jello will prove the
(00:54):
masterpiece of the meal. Perfectly plain in a mold of
brilliant color crimson strawberry, golden lemon, or sea green lime,
cut into shimmering little cubes, or whipped up into a
beautiful fluffy likeness, or molded in colorful layers. Jello is
always extra good because it has extra rich flavor, a
flavor that rivals the real ripe fruit itself. Just be
(01:15):
sure to get genuine jello when you buy, because the
name jello is a trademark the property of General Foods.
So look for those big red letters on the box.
They spelled jello. That was I must have one more kiss, Kiss, Kiss,
(01:46):
played by the orchestra. And now, ladies and gentlemen, once
again we bring you our master of ceremonies, that genial
host of Beverly Hills, whose Thanksgiving body last Thursday will
never be forgotten.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
I'll never forget it.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
A man who spared no expense to ensure the success
of this delightful.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
Occasion, Mary please, A man whose social gatherings have made him.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
The part of the film Colony.
Speaker 4 (02:10):
Thank you, Don, A host.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
That Who's Dinners.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
The second cup of coffee is always free, Jack Benny, thank.
Speaker 4 (02:22):
You the log again there's a Jack Benny talking and Don,
I'm glad you had such a nice time at my
Thanksgiving party. But what did you mean the second cup
of coffee was free?
Speaker 2 (02:30):
I was only kidding Jack. Mary was revving you, so
I thought i'd join in. It was really a grand evening.
Speaker 4 (02:35):
Well, thanks Don, and it's for you, Miss Livington. That's
the last time you'll ever have dinner at my house.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
Oh Jack, you'll be so tacky. Well, who wouldn't be See,
you're getting so sensitive lately. It's simply awful.
Speaker 4 (02:44):
Just the same, you're not eating at my house anymore.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
Who cares? My ticket has punched out anyway, My that's comical.
Speaker 4 (02:54):
Ha ha. You know it seems strange, Mary, but you're
the only one that gets bored when I invite the
gang over. Hey, Peil, what is it, Jackson? You have
a good time at my Thanksgiving party? Yes, the first
time I ever got a hangover from a turkey. Man.
You don't have to tell me how you got a hangover.
You were doing all right long before you came to
my house. What do you mean when I opened the
front door you fell in like a body and a
(03:15):
murder mystery. Not only that, you brought me a manhole cover.
So don't blame it on the turkey.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Hey Don, you're all right, jack Personally, I thought the
turkey had a delicious flavor, although it was a little.
Speaker 4 (03:32):
Tough to Why Don, how can you say that? With
us tender as it could be? A turkey wasn't a
bit tough go on?
Speaker 3 (03:38):
It had muscles like earl Leiderman.
Speaker 4 (03:42):
Oh it did well, It's too bad it was so Viera.
Next time, I'll get a turkey that walks around with
his wing on his hip. Maybe you like that better?
Speaker 3 (03:56):
And oh boy, the soupia served you don't feel it
reminded me of that new picture?
Speaker 4 (04:00):
What picture the rain came? I suppose it wasn't a
head Listen, fellas, of my party was such a big flop?
How did it happen to crash the newspapers? It was
right on the society page of the Beverly Hills Citizen,
the Beverly Hill Citizens. Yes, Don, I got it right here.
Get this here, read it to him.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
Mary, Okay, you suffer from mickey skin.
Speaker 5 (04:22):
It's so tight.
Speaker 4 (04:23):
It's on the other tie. Here. Give me that, I'll
read it. Listen, fellas, Jack Benny entertained, that's the headline.
Last Thursday night, at his cozy home on Roxbury Drive,
Jack Benny, Star of Stage, Screen and Radio, gave the
outstanding party of the social season. Among those present were
Mary Livingston, Don Wilson, Missus Lucretia Day and her son,
(04:45):
Dennis Bill Harris, Andy Devine and mister homer.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
T Schmick homer t Schmidt.
Speaker 4 (04:52):
Who was he?
Speaker 2 (04:53):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (04:53):
He was a fellow that delivered the ice cream and
wouldn't go home. Go ahead, Mary, you're reading it. Oh yes.
Speaker 6 (05:04):
Among those among.
Speaker 4 (05:06):
Those unable to attend this simulating event were Clark Gable
and Carol.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
Lombard Can they come poking?
Speaker 4 (05:12):
Robert Taylor and Barbara Sandwich, Carlo and Power and Annabella
the Fred mc murray's, and missus Homer t schmink. A
good time was had by all. How's that for a
write up?
Speaker 3 (05:28):
Let me see that.
Speaker 4 (05:29):
Jack, Here you are Mary, Look at that big print
on top, Jack, Benny entertains.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
Yeah, look at that little print at the bottom.
Speaker 4 (05:34):
ADVT ADVT.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
Yes, that means an ad and you paid for it.
Speaker 4 (05:40):
It means nothing of the cond Oh wait a minute, Jackson.
ADVT means a paidad in any newspaper in the country.
Not in this case, Phil, And what does it mean?
ADVT means a dinner viit turkey. That's what it means,
fit turkey.
Speaker 3 (05:59):
Yes, oh, Jack, you're.
Speaker 4 (06:03):
All right, Mary, I don't care what you say. I
consider that a very lovely nervous It certainly was.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
It certainly was, Jackis you know what I enjoyed most
of the party?
Speaker 4 (06:14):
What done?
Speaker 2 (06:14):
The games we played after Jean was fun, wasn't it?
Speaker 4 (06:17):
Yeah, those games are silly, but it's great when you
play the old ones, like spin the bottle, pin the
tail on the donkeys.
Speaker 6 (06:22):
Holy smokes, did we play games?
Speaker 4 (06:24):
Yes? Phil, we pinned the tail on you eight times
and you didn't even feel it. And you know why, No, fool,
say Jackson. I meant to ask you something. Who was
that cute girl I was dancing with all evening?
Speaker 7 (06:37):
Uh?
Speaker 4 (06:37):
Forget it, Phil? Oh?
Speaker 6 (06:38):
No, who was that girl I was dancing with? You know,
the one in the ermine wrapped?
Speaker 4 (06:42):
Phil? I said, forget it, forget us nothing. She was
a cute kid, and I want to call her up.
All right, Phil, that cut was Carmichael. That's who you
were dancing with. I thought she had a cold nose.
(07:04):
You and Carme were certainly the life of the party.
Speaker 8 (07:07):
Oh hello, Dennis, Hello mister Venni. He had a good
time at your house Thursday night, the dinner would well.
Speaker 4 (07:12):
Well, I'm glad you liked it, Dennis. And incidentally, you're
still new on the program. And I don't want to
be bossy or anything, but you know, we never chew
gum during a broadcast, so please throw it away.
Speaker 6 (07:23):
I'm not chewing gum now.
Speaker 8 (07:24):
Dennis, this is a piece of turkey from your Thanksgiving party.
Speaker 4 (07:32):
Oh well, you must have got the only tough pee.
Your mother didn't have any trouble, Dennis. She had two
wings and a drumstick. Where is she lat on her back? Why, Dennis,
you mean your mother's ill? They are the turkey gotter?
Theyll It couldn't have been the turkey, or maybe it
was a dressing. Donald, wasn't the turkey, and it wasn't
a dressing.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
Couldn't have been the butter. We didn't have any.
Speaker 4 (07:55):
Listen, Mary, you don't need butter. When you have gravy.
You can put gravy on the breast of coursing. You
don't like, then stay home for heaven's sake. A big
issue over butter and gravy. Now, let's forget about my party.
I don't know what you kids are complaining about. I
got a big piece of butter. I certainly all you
had to do was ask for down, ask for a
piece of butter, and I gave it to him.
Speaker 3 (08:13):
He had a Brandish finger firs.
Speaker 4 (08:15):
Well, and what's the argument. Butter is very good on
a burn.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
I suppose it's no good on bread?
Speaker 7 (08:20):
All right?
Speaker 4 (08:26):
The next time you fella come to my house, I'm
gonna have nothing but butter. Just plain butter, a great
big hunk of butter.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
Shaid they come, farmer, Yeah, come farmer.
Speaker 4 (08:36):
Let's drop it now, Dennis, Yes, please, let's have your song,
please before I lose my temper. Please you and your please.
Speaker 6 (08:43):
You wouldn't talk like that if my mother was here.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
Oh I wouldn't they listen, Dennis. I'll meet your mother anytime,
any place, any weight. And that goes for your father too.
Speaker 6 (08:56):
If you can lick mother, you got a pinch with Pa.
Speaker 4 (08:58):
I wouldn't be surprised. And I go Hea, you're gone.
Speaker 6 (09:01):
So we come for.
Speaker 9 (09:16):
All river whatever, right, remember right, remember.
Speaker 7 (09:34):
Forever and thankful for you.
Speaker 6 (09:41):
Well, keep mind.
Speaker 7 (09:45):
Remambla.
Speaker 4 (09:49):
We maybe upon.
Speaker 7 (09:52):
No and avile all of you. In my heart. You're
in my eye. Bargain say a River.
Speaker 5 (10:11):
My epromis to be for all away for our LoVa hates.
Speaker 10 (10:27):
You are created just for me, and so if ever
we ever rages, I.
Speaker 7 (10:39):
Will be.
Speaker 5 (10:42):
Thea for river my EPROMI to.
Speaker 7 (10:51):
Oway very good.
Speaker 4 (11:15):
That was faithful Forever, sung by Dennis Day and accompanied
by the orchestra who were still playing I must have
one more. Kiss, kiss, kiss, and you both did very well.
By the way, Dennis, I'm sorry I spoke so sharply
to you a little while ago, but I was rather
annoyed and I took it out on you.
Speaker 6 (11:33):
Oh that's all right, mister Benny.
Speaker 4 (11:34):
You're about the only one around here shows me any respect.
So just keep on being a good boy, That's all
I ask you. Know, there's a certain formula for getting
along with me, Dennis, be grateful, act to life, and.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
Let Jack save your money.
Speaker 4 (11:46):
Nice thing. Mary. Listen, Mary, I've had just about enough
of those insults and gagged at my expense. If you
and Geronimo don't like it, why don't you why to
go out and get your own program.
Speaker 6 (12:01):
We've been thinking about that.
Speaker 4 (12:02):
Oh you have, Sure, there's plenty of job for a
guy like me. Oh there are. Well, Phil, let me
ask you something. Have you ever driven your car across
the Mahabi Desert?
Speaker 6 (12:10):
Sure?
Speaker 2 (12:11):
Why?
Speaker 4 (12:11):
Well, did you ever notice that just before you start
across the desert, right on the edge of it, there's
a gas station that says last chan, Yeah, what about it? Well,
three years ago, when you got a job on this program,
I was that gas station. Just remember that.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
What are you talking about?
Speaker 4 (12:28):
Three years ago?
Speaker 6 (12:29):
My band was the hottest thing in pound.
Speaker 4 (12:30):
Sure, was the hottest thing in town. You were working
in a barbecue pit, Sam's rib joint.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
Music.
Speaker 4 (12:41):
Why you munch?
Speaker 3 (12:44):
So?
Speaker 4 (12:45):
Don't tell me? Oh, we all have her.
Speaker 6 (12:46):
Up some downs.
Speaker 4 (12:47):
I'm considered the top fan leader today. Oh you are
a right now.
Speaker 6 (12:50):
I'm at the pe knuckle of my career.
Speaker 4 (12:55):
Peanutle Oh boy, what a guy? You know?
Speaker 2 (12:58):
Phil.
Speaker 4 (12:59):
Sometimes when I look at you, all I can do
is shake my head. Just shake my head.
Speaker 3 (13:03):
You wouldn't if you could stop it.
Speaker 4 (13:07):
A good stiff collar. I'll take care of that and
you and miss Living said. What I said about mister
Harris goes for you too. You're very lucky to be here. So, yes,
that's so. You were on this program two years before
you realize I wasn't a floor walker. And take that
pencil out of your hair? Boy, am I clicking the knife?
Speaker 3 (13:34):
That's your teeth?
Speaker 4 (13:37):
My head shakes and my teeth click. I'm doing quite
a rumba above my shoulder. Now get away from me.
Oh my goodness, Jack, But you're sure cracking the whip tonight.
Why what'son? I'll give you just two seconds to say
something above jello.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
Yes, sir, ladies and gentlemen, the next time you go
to your neighborhood grocer, but sure to ask him for
a package of jello.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
It comes in six delicious slaves.
Speaker 11 (13:56):
Well what are they name?
Speaker 1 (13:58):
Yes, sir, strawberry, raspberry, cherry ours, leminon lunch.
Speaker 4 (14:01):
All right, what do you look for? What do you
look for?
Speaker 6 (14:05):
Be sure to look for the big red letters on
the box.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
It fell jealous?
Speaker 4 (14:08):
Okay, not go and sit down. Now, ladies and general
will have a number by Phil Harrison his orchestra. Get moving, buddy, Yes,
mister legree, I'll snap into it. What are you laughing at?
Speaker 3 (14:22):
You remind me of another effective.
Speaker 4 (14:24):
Never mind the Devil. Well, maybe I did lose my
head played Bilge. I'm a regular Doctor Jekyll and mister Hyde.
(16:33):
That was east of the border, played by Phil Harrison
his orders. And now ladies and Jaie, wait a minute,
that was south of the border. I know, Phil. That
was just my way of saying you were off the beam.
And now, ladies and John hold on, Jack.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
Perhaps it's none of my business and I don't want
to try to run things around here, But don't you
think you ought.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
To calm down a little. Well, don't let everything get
your gold.
Speaker 4 (16:55):
Well, I guess you're right now. Maybe I did fly
off the handle tonight, but I'm not going to let
it happen again. The next party I give, I won't
invite anybody, and there won't be any complaints. I just
sit there all by myself, just me, just plain me.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
And a big hunk of butter.
Speaker 4 (17:14):
At least I'll be happy. That's not asking too much.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
Well, Jack, I just can't hold out any longer. This
whole thing was a rib a rib. Yeah, every one
of us thought that dinner yours was marblous.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
No kidding, Jack. The turkey was deliquor best I aver tasted.
Speaker 4 (17:27):
Oh it was a yeah. The peace I got a swell. Well,
Dennis stopped chewing it. Give up already. Well, you fellas
enjoyed the turkey A we care dead well, kids, I
can't hold out any longer either, to show you guys,
you know nothing about food. That bird I served Thursday
night wasn't turkey at all.
Speaker 3 (17:47):
It wasn't turkey.
Speaker 4 (17:48):
It was it was duck, wild duck. I shot him myself.
Speaker 6 (17:51):
Who held him?
Speaker 4 (17:54):
Nobody held him. I shot him right out of the air.
Merry was with me?
Speaker 3 (17:56):
You mean when we were out honey with any divine.
Speaker 4 (17:58):
Yeah, So don't pan the food when you don't even
know what you're eating.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
So you were duck hunting with Annie? How was it fun? Oh?
Speaker 3 (18:04):
You should have been there?
Speaker 7 (18:04):
Done?
Speaker 3 (18:05):
Jack was a stream. Never mind, boy, what he doesn't
know about a gun?
Speaker 4 (18:08):
I know plenty about guns. Mary. When I was on
the rifle team in Walkegan, they used to call me Bullseye,
Benny Bullseyes.
Speaker 3 (18:15):
I can make a charters mask.
Speaker 4 (18:26):
All right, forget it. What happened at the Dutch hunt Berry, Well,
it's not important.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
Well, Jack and I left Tuesday and stay overnight at annie.
Speaker 6 (18:33):
Crane, And about four o'clock.
Speaker 3 (18:35):
The next morning, I was down in the kitchen helping
Annie's mother get breakfast. Well, anyway, Annie went upstairs to
wake up Jack, and pretty soon we heard him hollering, Hey, Buck,
it's four o'clock.
Speaker 11 (18:45):
Hey fuck, it's four o'clock. Come on, we gotta get going.
Speaker 4 (18:53):
Hello again, Hello Andy, what's the matter?
Speaker 11 (18:56):
If you want to shoot any Dutch we better get started.
Speaker 4 (19:00):
Eddie, I'll be dressing a minute. Oh boy, I'm.
Speaker 6 (19:08):
Gee.
Speaker 11 (19:08):
Fuck you sure Luk's finding him that nightgown.
Speaker 4 (19:12):
What's wrong with my nightgown? You look like a bride
with that long train. That's not a train. My zipper
got caught in the sheet.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
Where's Mary?
Speaker 11 (19:28):
She's downstairs with mom getting breakfast ready?
Speaker 4 (19:31):
What Mary living? Sent up at four o'clock in the morning. Oh, boy,
I bet he's grouchy. Oh no, Box, she's cheerful as
a large Oh she can't be.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
He is too. I'm telling this story. Well, anyway, John
Andy came downstairs and Jack went over to the bunk
house to wake up Rochester.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
Rochester with you.
Speaker 3 (19:47):
Yeah, Jack thought he'd make a good retriever. So Jack
went over to get Rochester, and he had an awful
time waking him up. He's been hearing yelling.
Speaker 4 (19:56):
At the top of his boy, Rochester, Hey, Rochester, Come on, Rochester, Rochester.
We gotta get going, Rochester, wake up?
Speaker 11 (20:16):
What time is the sugar?
Speaker 4 (20:32):
It's four o'clock and it's me. I'll get up.
Speaker 11 (20:34):
Can I sleep a little longer?
Speaker 4 (20:35):
No, you can't. The ducks are waiting for us.
Speaker 11 (20:37):
Boy's anything that waits for me at four o'clock in
the morning. Bit'll pull up a chair and relax.
Speaker 4 (20:44):
Don't be silly, Rochester. How can a duck pull up
a chair? Sit down, boys, and we'll discuss it. Never mind,
all you get up out of that bed and make
it snappy. Come on, just dug outside now, quit stalling.
I'll give you just three to get up. One two three, Rochester.
(21:05):
If you don't get up right away, you're gonna miss breakfast.
Speaker 11 (21:08):
I'm gonna score and lash too.
Speaker 4 (21:18):
All right, very well, I'm going into breakfast right now.
And for your information, Rochester, we're having pork chops.
Speaker 11 (21:23):
Sence the avenue Phasons.
Speaker 4 (21:24):
Yeah, I thought so, I'll hurry it up.
Speaker 3 (21:30):
Well, Donald, was about five o'clock and we finished breakfast,
and then we started out for the duck pont.
Speaker 2 (21:34):
But Mary, you're not allowed to shoot ducks that early
in the morning, are you no?
Speaker 3 (21:36):
Down? We had to wait about an hour, but you
can hear them all over the place. There were hundreds
of them.
Speaker 4 (21:45):
Oh boy, get a load of those of ducks. Give
me my gun, Rochester. There's a baby I got my
eye on.
Speaker 11 (21:49):
Hey, y'all boy, And wait a minute, Buck. You can't
shoot any duck till seven o'clock.
Speaker 4 (21:54):
Oh yes, Donald, why.
Speaker 3 (21:55):
Don't you take a shot at that tree just for
practice practice.
Speaker 4 (21:58):
Don't worry about me, Mary. I've had a gun.
Speaker 3 (22:00):
Before, yeah, but it had a carp in the end
of it.
Speaker 4 (22:07):
I mean a shotgun.
Speaker 11 (22:08):
Say buck, I'm meant to tell you that gun.
Speaker 4 (22:10):
I'll let you have.
Speaker 11 (22:11):
It's got a powerful kick when it goes off. Better
be careful, I will.
Speaker 4 (22:18):
Indeed, you're worse than Mary. I got a gun at home,
just like this, A twelve millimeter millimeter you mean, Gaine
or whatever it is. I got one. I know how
to handle it.
Speaker 3 (22:29):
You ought to try it out.
Speaker 4 (22:30):
Okay, I'll show you get some fancy shooting. See that
orange hanging on that tree over there, watch me knock
it all.
Speaker 3 (22:35):
That's the sun, it just came up.
Speaker 4 (22:40):
I'll show you something else. Here's a real trick. Hey, Rochester,
put this tin can on your head and wholesale.
Speaker 11 (22:45):
I'll wait a minute, ball, Come on.
Speaker 4 (22:46):
Rochester, put this can on your head and I'll shoot
it all. Don't be scared.
Speaker 11 (22:50):
That's fine.
Speaker 4 (22:50):
The sun is noise, and he tells me not to be.
Rochester is a very simple trick. I saw a man
do it and vater them.
Speaker 11 (22:59):
Well, wall dead, and I'm gonna tell the move over.
Speaker 4 (23:05):
Oh boy, what a baby. Didn't you ever hear the
story about Williams Tel he shot an apple off his
son's head.
Speaker 11 (23:11):
Well, get here while wait.
Speaker 4 (23:16):
All right, if you don't want to play, don't play.
I never saw a guy worry so much. Hey, Andy,
come here a minute.
Speaker 11 (23:20):
What do you want, Buck?
Speaker 4 (23:21):
Hold your cigarette up in the air. I'll shoot it
out of your finger.
Speaker 6 (23:24):
Nothing doing, Buck, I gotta unlace my shoes tonight.
Speaker 4 (23:28):
What a game? No one's game to do anything?
Speaker 3 (23:30):
Well, if you want to tie off the gun, why
don't you shoo it that elm tree over there?
Speaker 4 (23:33):
All right, I'll bore a hole right through it.
Speaker 11 (23:35):
I'll be careful of that gun.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
It kicks like a mule.
Speaker 4 (23:38):
Oh Andy, let me alone, will you? I watch everybody?
I'm even right for that tree. Suppose I don't have
a hole of gun.
Speaker 11 (23:44):
I wait a minute, butt, just closed one eye.
Speaker 3 (23:47):
Oh that's right, and take your finger out of your
ear now, he don't distract me.
Speaker 4 (23:53):
All right? Here I go rain aim fire osted. But yeah,
pick me up. Andy. You were right about that gun.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
Oh Jack took that big clock of ducks over there
in that cove, big tack one.
Speaker 11 (24:14):
You miss sneak overate hides the pusher.
Speaker 4 (24:16):
Yeah, we'll be all ready for him at seven o'clock.
I'll be quiet everybody. See Andy, how many ducks are
we allowed to get? I mean, wats the limit?
Speaker 3 (24:23):
Tenn p?
Speaker 4 (24:24):
Oh boy? What he does?
Speaker 6 (24:26):
I remember Rochester?
Speaker 4 (24:26):
All the ducks I shoot, you will have to carry home?
Speaker 11 (24:28):
Pulls him with duck? My slow enough be to hit
Hi too old.
Speaker 4 (24:31):
Eve, don't worry. You just swim out and get him
every time I hit him.
Speaker 3 (24:39):
Here we are now, Oh Jack, Look at that cute
little duck in the water and it sound asleep.
Speaker 4 (24:44):
Yeah, I'll wake that baby up in a few minutes.
Speaker 3 (24:47):
No, you won't look when he got around his neck?
What an alarm clock and a teck for a quarter
to seven?
Speaker 4 (24:54):
Oh, don't be silly. See I wish it was time already.
I can hardly wait till I start blasting away. Take
it easy, buck, I will and even see I'm kind
of anxious to get Oh darn it.
Speaker 11 (25:08):
Fuck, I told you.
Speaker 6 (25:09):
Not to shoot before seven o'clock.
Speaker 4 (25:11):
I didn't shoot, Andy, I dropped my gun and went
off by accident.
Speaker 11 (25:15):
What's that?
Speaker 4 (25:19):
Oh boy? And I wasn't even naming at him. Only
nine to go, kid, Wow? This is fun. What a dust?
Speaker 3 (25:25):
He's a beauty, isn't it, Jack?
Speaker 11 (25:26):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (25:27):
It is pretty. Gee?
Speaker 3 (25:29):
Look at those eyes.
Speaker 4 (25:30):
Yeah, look at those eyes. Guys. I didn't know ducks
had blue eyes. And look at that sad face. Ain't
a sad looking gee? I didn't mean to kid.
Speaker 11 (25:44):
What's the matter Buck?
Speaker 4 (25:45):
Nothing? Andy? You look at that poor little duck. Gosh,
I don't see how people can kill a little thing
like that.
Speaker 3 (25:52):
Wasn't your Paul, Jack, I know it wasn't marry either.
Speaker 4 (25:56):
Gosh, blue eyes. Just think of minute of gold was alive,
flying through the air, happy and gay. It didn't I
didn't know it was gonna die. Oh, I don't know
why I came out here.
Speaker 11 (26:10):
Oh fucke, it was just an accident.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
You will get over it.
Speaker 4 (26:14):
I will get over it.
Speaker 3 (26:15):
You're not to blame Jack.
Speaker 5 (26:17):
I'm a murderer. That's what I asked, A murderer. Kill her.
Speaker 6 (26:22):
Benny, Come on, Mary, let's go home.
Speaker 11 (26:26):
Rocketer. You're stay here with mister divine.
Speaker 6 (26:28):
Not me.
Speaker 11 (26:29):
Walt, I can't say it.
Speaker 7 (26:30):
I'm wall.
Speaker 4 (26:37):
All right, Rocketer. If you're so sad, put down that junk.
Speaker 5 (26:40):
So long and so.
Speaker 7 (26:45):
Long, so.
Speaker 3 (26:56):
You see, don that's exactly what happened when Jack went
on a hunting trip.
Speaker 2 (26:59):
But Mary, if that's the case, where did Jack get
the wild ducks.
Speaker 6 (27:01):
For the dinner he bottom in the market?
Speaker 3 (27:03):
They weren't any wilder than he is.
Speaker 4 (27:05):
Well, at least my conscience is clear. I can sleep
night play fill.
Speaker 6 (27:13):
In.
Speaker 1 (27:13):
All foreign visitors to this country look upon the average
American supper table.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
It's one of the wonders of the world. And I
agree with them. Why every night of the year, the
American table laden.
Speaker 1 (27:22):
With foods that are fit for the key, yet their
common items and the simplest American menu such delicacies, for example,
is jello chocolate pudding, a rich, marvelously smooth dessert that's
crammed as a full, satisfying flavor like the old fashioned
pudding your mother used to make. But yellow chocolate pudding
is quick and easy. You can serve it in any
number of tempting ways, dressed up with whipped cream, chopped nuts,
(27:44):
and maroscina cherries. You can make a swell chocolate pie
filling with it, or use it or a satin smooth
chocolate sauce. And there's jellow butterscotch pudding with its warm mellow,
golden taste. And a jello vanilla pudding jelicate and creamy
and extralicious with fruits or nuts full there. They're all
swell to eat, they're all easy to make. So get
(28:04):
jello puddings tomorrow, chocolate, butterscotch and vanilla, and you'll know
why all America is raving about these new desserts.
Speaker 4 (28:15):
We're a little late, so good night, folks.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
Oh this is the national broadcast in company
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