July 22, 2025 • 28 mins
Enjoy "The Jack Benny Collection," a showcase of the best episodes from the legendary comedian's radio show. Experience the timeless humor, memorable characters, and witty scripts that made Jack Benny a household name. Perfect for fans of classic comedy and radio history, this collection offers a window into the golden age of entertainment.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
The Jello Program starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston, Phil Harris,
Dennis stand Yours Truly, Don Wilson.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
The Orchantrope has a program.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
With Old Johnny.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
This morning, I was looking over the book reviews of
the Sunday Paper and reading the lists of bestsellers, and
that just happened to give me an idea. I like
to recommend to you a grand best seller in the
field of dessert, dessert that's not only currently popular, but
it has been on the bestseller list for years and years.
The author is General Foods, and the name is Jello,
and ladies and gentlemen, that's a mighty important thing because
(00:44):
it's a trademark. It's the property of General Foods that
tells you here is the real thing, the one and
only Jello. If you hear any other Jelatin dessert called jello,
you know that's incorrect.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Well, there is no other.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
So when you buy, accept any substitutes, ask for Jello
by a name, and.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
You can be sure every time of getting your favorite dessert.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
You can be sure of enjoying that delicious, extra rich flavor,
so full bodied and tempting as in fighting as a price.
Ripe fruit look for those big red letters on the box.
They smell jello, your password to pleasure. That was all Johnny,
(01:42):
played by Phil Harrison his orchestra. And now, ladies and gentlemen,
Oh Jack Jack, Yes, Don, is your tooth still bothering you?
Speaker 4 (01:50):
Yes, little Don, but it'll be all right.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
Go ahead, and now, ladies and gentlemen, you ought to
see a dabis jacket tooth.
Speaker 5 (01:56):
They can be very annoyed.
Speaker 4 (01:57):
I know, Don, but I'm all right.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Go ahead and introduce And no, ladies and gentlemen, but
jackets must hurt.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
Don't you feel any jumping fans only.
Speaker 4 (02:05):
When you mention it? Now, please go ahead and introduce.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Me, all right, Jack, And now, ladies and gentlemen, without
further ado, we bring you a man who, despite a
severe toothache, feels that the show must go off. That
brave little soldier, that grand old trooper Jack Benny's.
Speaker 4 (02:30):
Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 6 (02:31):
Oh that's too jeel Again, this is Jack Benny talking
through a murderous molar. Well, Don, here it is Sunday again.
We're back on the old merryground times. Sure replies, doesn't
it it?
Speaker 2 (02:42):
Certainly?
Speaker 4 (02:42):
Does?
Speaker 3 (02:43):
You know?
Speaker 1 (02:43):
Jacket doesn't seem possible that we've been on the air
six times already this season.
Speaker 6 (02:46):
No, it doesn't, oh, kitting fellas, that we've been on
the air six weeks. Yes, they'll and the sure roll
around fat, don't they. Yeah, it seems like I hardly
get one fat check laugh to start battling for the
next one.
Speaker 7 (02:58):
Oh you do?
Speaker 2 (02:59):
Well?
Speaker 6 (02:59):
Listen were you I take my paychecks anyway I could
get them? Yeah, yeah, I wouldn't complain about your job.
Speaker 4 (03:04):
You're very lucky.
Speaker 7 (03:06):
You know.
Speaker 6 (03:06):
In Musical Circle they refer to you as horseshoe Harris,
and that goes for your boys too, those seventeen rabbits feet.
Speaker 4 (03:21):
Well enough alone, Now what was I talking about, Don?
Speaker 5 (03:25):
You were complaining about your tooth?
Speaker 4 (03:26):
I was not. I was talking about how the weeks
fly by.
Speaker 6 (03:29):
You know, Don, Sometimes it amazes me how I can
prepare all the ideas that go into this program in
seven days.
Speaker 4 (03:35):
It's really quite a grind.
Speaker 5 (03:36):
I can appreciate that, Jack. It must be pretty tough.
Speaker 6 (03:38):
Oh it is, don Tis. I don't know what you're
squalking about. Look at all the band numbers I got
to rehearse and get ready. It's no sense, believe me.
Do you mean to tell me you actually prepare your
numbers ahead of time, those voodoo volses. Sure we gotta
have everything right up to snow. We got to live
(04:00):
up to our slogan. You know your slogan. Oh you've
got a slogan now, sure listen to this. If it's
a Harris selection, it's sheer perfection.
Speaker 4 (04:08):
Well, well, say, that's very good.
Speaker 5 (04:10):
I got another one we use on the road. Get this.
If it's a Harris number, you'll never slump.
Speaker 6 (04:15):
I agree with you there, and Phil, if you can
stand one more slogan, It goes like this. If it's
a harrass melody, it's sure to smellody. And I don't
mean Christmas night. Now where was I What were we
talking about? Don You were complaining about your two?
Speaker 4 (04:35):
I was not no down there times? Oh hello Mary,
Hello Jack?
Speaker 8 (04:39):
Hey, what's the matter with your fate?
Speaker 7 (04:41):
My face?
Speaker 8 (04:42):
Yeah, one cheek didn't sunk in anymore.
Speaker 4 (04:45):
Oh that's my two. My left cheek is swollen a little,
a little.
Speaker 8 (04:49):
You look like a squirrel. It's all set for a
long winter. Oh I do, my goodness, Jack, that's who's involving.
Speaker 7 (04:59):
You all week.
Speaker 8 (05:00):
Why don't you have it pulled out?
Speaker 4 (05:01):
Oh? The panels go away, say Fellows, I.
Speaker 8 (05:03):
Never taught anybody so scared of a Dana.
Speaker 6 (05:05):
I'm not scared of a Dannis. That tooth is loose
and will probably pull out by itself.
Speaker 8 (05:08):
You mean, like that ten stuff on top of your head.
Speaker 4 (05:14):
I mean, don't worry about me. I'll get this tooth
fixed my own way.
Speaker 5 (05:17):
Say Jackson, what one.
Speaker 6 (05:18):
Of my piano players don't like you? He'll be glad
to knock it out. Oh you mean that little squirt
sitting over there. Why I'll know the other one?
Speaker 4 (05:26):
Oh? Oh, hello, butch I didn't see it. I'll go
sit down.
Speaker 8 (05:32):
He won't hit you, Jack with those glasses on.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
He's right, jackets against the law to hit anybody that's
wearing glasses.
Speaker 4 (05:37):
Listen down.
Speaker 6 (05:37):
I said that to a big guy one day, and
he took my glasses off, punched me in the nose,
and put him back on again.
Speaker 4 (05:43):
So don't tell me what were you doing.
Speaker 5 (05:45):
In the meantime, Jack.
Speaker 8 (05:46):
Was explaining the law to him.
Speaker 4 (05:52):
Yes, he'll know better next time, Say Phil, how.
Speaker 6 (05:55):
About playing a number? My tooth is acting up again.
I want to put a couple of drops in it.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
Okay, what kind of you think drops? Are using, Jack,
I don't know.
Speaker 6 (06:03):
It's something Rochester makes. I think it's chloroform and white mule.
It does the trick, though, Go ahead, Phil, play something
all right, Jackson, Get ready boys, and remember, folks, if
it's a Harris selection, it's sheer perfection.
Speaker 7 (06:16):
Yes, Hey, what's that for?
Speaker 9 (06:20):
Oh?
Speaker 6 (06:20):
You weren't here, Mary, But Phil has suddenly become slogan conscious.
Speaker 4 (06:23):
Give her that other one, Phil, Well.
Speaker 6 (06:25):
Here's one you haven't even heard yet. When smiling Harris
plays a tune every month in the year is June.
Speaker 4 (06:32):
How's that?
Speaker 9 (06:32):
Mary?
Speaker 8 (06:33):
Wow, that's corn that isn't even ripe yet.
Speaker 7 (06:37):
That's a good one, Say Jack, what if.
Speaker 8 (06:39):
Bob they'll ever comes back? I gotta tell slogan for you?
Speaker 4 (06:42):
Never mind?
Speaker 7 (06:42):
What is it?
Speaker 3 (06:43):
Mary?
Speaker 8 (06:43):
When Danny plays on his file in you can choot
him down and it ain't no sense, Mary, we.
Speaker 6 (06:51):
Weren't talking about my violence, so that lamp doesn't count. Well,
let's forget our poetry contest and get along with the show.
Play something, Phil.
Speaker 5 (06:58):
Oh wait a minute, Jack, you've all had your little poetry.
How about giving me a chance.
Speaker 6 (07:02):
Okay, don let's hear your contribution, said he with a
look of innocence in his baby blue eyes.
Speaker 4 (07:06):
Take it don all right, but I want.
Speaker 5 (07:08):
You to help me.
Speaker 7 (07:08):
Jack.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
Now you start me off with.
Speaker 4 (07:10):
Hello Joe, Okay, Hello Joe. What do you know?
Speaker 5 (07:13):
I just got back from the grocery store?
Speaker 2 (07:16):
Yes?
Speaker 5 (07:22):
Did you buy a box? If you know what? Yes, SuRie,
that's what I got. What's in this box?
Speaker 4 (07:27):
It's so deleted?
Speaker 5 (07:27):
I bet you wish you had a dish?
Speaker 4 (07:29):
Can this be jello?
Speaker 3 (07:30):
That you mean?
Speaker 8 (07:31):
Yeh yeh yeh on madam.
Speaker 4 (07:32):
Quan Harry ha spoiled the whole thing. That last line
didn't make.
Speaker 8 (07:38):
Sense, all right, send me to side area.
Speaker 4 (07:46):
Nothing to get funny about.
Speaker 6 (07:47):
Hey, genius, why play something that guy answers to anything?
Speaker 4 (07:51):
If you just put a hay in front.
Speaker 10 (07:52):
Of it, Formia, that old time swimmer, I would stop
(09:46):
as wonderful played by Phil Harris, who can now tear
up his slogan.
Speaker 4 (09:51):
A Harrah's selection as sheer perfection. Oh maha Rashia. And
now folks, wait.
Speaker 6 (09:58):
A minute, Jackie, you insinuating that the number was in harmonious.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
What's that in harmonious?
Speaker 5 (10:03):
Mediocre? Lacking in finesse and euphony?
Speaker 2 (10:06):
Why? Phil, Well, that's today's work.
Speaker 4 (10:08):
Good night, all Rotherland come back here. What a guy.
Speaker 6 (10:21):
He learns four big words and he's all in. And now, folks,
before we say where's Dennis? I saw him downstairs with
his mother just for the broadcast.
Speaker 8 (10:29):
I did too, And old Jack is missus Day mad
at you?
Speaker 4 (10:32):
Mad at me? Why we got to be very good
friends at my Halloween party?
Speaker 8 (10:35):
Well, she was home last night, he listening to our
program and she heard you call her a pet.
Speaker 4 (10:39):
I didn't call her a pet. I said she needed
a rest.
Speaker 8 (10:42):
Well she got it to watch out.
Speaker 6 (10:45):
Oh Mary, Missus Day is much too broad minded to
be upset about a little Joe and our folks. However, Mary,
I wouldn't mention anything about her when she comes in.
Speaker 4 (10:52):
You know, yeah, I know you know.
Speaker 9 (10:54):
How it is.
Speaker 8 (10:54):
Yeah, I know how it is.
Speaker 7 (10:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (10:56):
An ow folks, and now folks, Mary, let me along
and our folks.
Speaker 6 (11:02):
Following our success last week with our version of the Women,
tonight we are going to Oh boy, wasn't I marvelous
in that play? What didn't I give a terrific performance? Yes, Phil,
you were sensational. Would you consider a thousand dollars raising salary?
I feel guilty having you at these prices.
Speaker 5 (11:23):
That's a deal.
Speaker 4 (11:24):
Shake, get away or I'll break your arms.
Speaker 6 (11:28):
Terrific performance anyway, folks, As I was saying, following our
success last week with the women, tonight.
Speaker 4 (11:34):
We are going to offer all is coming.
Speaker 6 (11:36):
Well Hello Dennis, Oh, mister Venny and your mother's with you.
Speaker 4 (11:40):
Well, well, this is nice of goodnything. Missus Day.
Speaker 7 (11:43):
How do you do.
Speaker 4 (11:48):
Well, you're looking very good.
Speaker 5 (11:49):
Appreciate thanks, and you will please refer to me as
missus Day.
Speaker 8 (11:53):
Well it is now twenty degrees cooler inside marriage.
Speaker 6 (11:58):
Well, Dennis, I'm glad you're here. I know you have
a lovely song prepared for us tonight.
Speaker 5 (12:05):
Are you ready? Yes, I am, say mister Venny.
Speaker 7 (12:08):
What's the matter with your jaw?
Speaker 4 (12:09):
Did someone hit you?
Speaker 6 (12:10):
And no, Dennis, I have a bad toothache, you know,
missus Day. It hurts like a dickens. It's really a
miracle that I can be funny tonight.
Speaker 4 (12:17):
You were very funny last week, very funny.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
Oh.
Speaker 4 (12:21):
Did you enjoy the show?
Speaker 5 (12:23):
Yes, especially the power where you called me a pist.
Speaker 7 (12:25):
It was such a brilliant remark.
Speaker 6 (12:27):
Why, Missus Day, I called you a past Yes you
did on the radio, Yes, on the radio.
Speaker 5 (12:33):
On my program.
Speaker 8 (12:34):
It wasn't duke a briggan. It's happy Hawaiian.
Speaker 4 (12:44):
I require now look, missus day.
Speaker 6 (12:46):
It may have sounded like I called you a pass,
but this darn tooth of mine slurs my words and
bothering me all week.
Speaker 4 (12:52):
Your tooth, yes, you can see for yourself. Look the word.
One word here, the one under earn.
Speaker 6 (12:59):
Sir, Oh, that does look pretty bad.
Speaker 8 (13:03):
Say Jack, let me hear you say your name, work.
Let me hear you say your name.
Speaker 4 (13:07):
Jerk Gurney.
Speaker 8 (13:07):
That's what I thought.
Speaker 4 (13:16):
Norry, I've got a toothache. I prefer a little sympathy.
Speaker 8 (13:18):
To ridy que well in, for heaven's sake, stop complaining
to go to ais.
Speaker 4 (13:22):
I'm not going to a dentist.
Speaker 8 (13:23):
What's the matter? You afraid?
Speaker 4 (13:25):
No, I'm not afraid.
Speaker 5 (13:25):
Well, there's only one other reason, so let's take up
a collection.
Speaker 6 (13:30):
Well, I won't be necessary. The first time I ever
had trouble with a tooth. I haven't been to a
dentist since I was ten years old.
Speaker 8 (13:36):
Don't tell me you made those uppers yourself.
Speaker 4 (13:43):
Now, I didn't make those uppers my.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
Town, Jack.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
I don't want to be an alarm us, but I
think you ought to do something about that tooth that
might lead to serious consequences.
Speaker 4 (13:51):
Well, Gie, it does hurt. But I don't know who
to go do.
Speaker 8 (13:54):
I know? A go Dennis, Jack, and he's just two
blocks from here. Come on, let's go.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
Don't pull Go ahead, Jack, we'll get care of the program.
Speaker 4 (14:00):
Sure, I got some swell jokes, and I'm dying to
tell them. I know you're jokes. Bill. Oh waiter, have
you got frogs legs?
Speaker 5 (14:06):
No?
Speaker 4 (14:07):
I always walk this way.
Speaker 6 (14:17):
That's nice smart material. Come on, Mary, let's go. Okay, well,
so long fella.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
All right, Dennis, you can go ahead with your song.
Speaker 11 (14:26):
Now what's going to be I'm gonna be going to
see a very popular number called a Man in his
Dream from picture the Stoppydurn Think Crosby, I got that in, Dennis,
don't be such a ham No sing.
Speaker 5 (14:52):
You always stop.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
I imagination.
Speaker 4 (14:57):
Sometimes it more as I'm fia see.
Speaker 12 (15:01):
And one time by fine vision flash my mind.
Speaker 13 (15:08):
Blows st reality.
Speaker 12 (15:14):
Not the cocketll a hidden leave um and here and
there a star.
Speaker 5 (15:26):
For a man.
Speaker 12 (15:28):
And his dream, not the cricket's crime, A whispered.
Speaker 4 (15:38):
Word, a kiss, and now and then a star.
Speaker 13 (15:44):
For a man and his read.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
And their eyes when they be seem.
Speaker 12 (15:55):
To stay supplies and the ah proudly.
Speaker 7 (16:04):
With tune that is old of than time.
Speaker 12 (16:11):
No, it must fade away, and yet it leaves the
love soul world.
Speaker 13 (16:20):
We'll say there's a word, and his readrive when.
Speaker 12 (16:31):
They meet seem to say oblime, and they're all proudly be.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
To a tune that is older than time.
Speaker 12 (16:48):
No must fade away, and yet it leaves alone.
Speaker 7 (16:56):
So long.
Speaker 3 (17:03):
There's a more.
Speaker 6 (17:31):
No, marry my tooth doesn't seem to be bothering me now.
I think I'll let it go to some other times.
Speaker 8 (17:35):
You'll do nothing of the time. Here's the dentist's office.
Speaker 4 (17:38):
Well i'd rather wait you just swell.
Speaker 8 (17:39):
Dennis Jack. Look at that sign where right there? Doctor
Frank Nelson bridges like San Francisco.
Speaker 4 (17:47):
He's not very modest, is he.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
Well let's go in.
Speaker 4 (17:51):
They's got a nice office, hasn't he? Yeah?
Speaker 8 (17:54):
How do you do?
Speaker 9 (17:54):
So?
Speaker 4 (17:55):
How do you do? I like to see doctor Nelson?
Speaker 8 (17:57):
The doctor is busy with a patient right now? Would
you carry to wait? Yes, well you know what you're doing.
Speaker 7 (18:02):
I guess.
Speaker 8 (18:06):
What I'll tell that after you're here. Please you see this.
Speaker 4 (18:16):
What's that, missus? That a drill?
Speaker 8 (18:17):
Yeah, the doctor's working out of patience.
Speaker 4 (18:20):
Had say, Mary, are you are you sure this Dennis
is all right?
Speaker 8 (18:25):
Of course he's all right. Do I look worried?
Speaker 4 (18:28):
No?
Speaker 6 (18:28):
But then I'm the one with the toothache. I'm not worried, Mary,
but I just want to make sure that. Well, let's
scram I hate this waiting.
Speaker 8 (18:45):
Come on, Mary, come here. Doctor Nelson is absolutely painless, hairless.
Speaker 5 (18:52):
What was that six o'clock?
Speaker 4 (19:01):
I'm getting out of here.
Speaker 7 (19:03):
That'll be all for today, missus Stewart. When will I
see you again?
Speaker 8 (19:06):
You should live so long?
Speaker 5 (19:10):
Hmm?
Speaker 7 (19:11):
Well, young man, are you waiting to see me?
Speaker 4 (19:13):
Yes?
Speaker 7 (19:13):
But I your name?
Speaker 4 (19:14):
Please, Benny? I'm Jack Benny the actor.
Speaker 7 (19:17):
Sorry, we don't give theatrical rates.
Speaker 6 (19:22):
Well, I didn't mean it that way. I expect to
pay the same price as anybody else.
Speaker 8 (19:27):
Eventually, Mary, ooh, that's tooth dropping again.
Speaker 7 (19:33):
Stip right this way, please follow me.
Speaker 4 (19:35):
Can I come in to right with me?
Speaker 7 (19:37):
Oh?
Speaker 14 (19:38):
Nurse terilyze my mandibular injector and have the gunn of
perchure ready.
Speaker 8 (19:42):
Yes.
Speaker 7 (19:42):
Now, I'll step into this chair, mister Benny, and I'll
strap you in.
Speaker 4 (19:47):
Strap me in.
Speaker 7 (19:48):
Yes, we don't want you squirming around.
Speaker 8 (19:50):
Oh would you like a manakin, mister Benny?
Speaker 4 (19:56):
No thanks, I just dropped in to have my tooth baite.
Speaker 7 (19:59):
Oh yeah, the tooth. Now, first we must determine which
one it is, yes, the moment?
Speaker 9 (20:04):
Is it this one?
Speaker 1 (20:07):
No?
Speaker 7 (20:08):
This one?
Speaker 4 (20:10):
No?
Speaker 9 (20:11):
Is it this one?
Speaker 4 (20:23):
Uh? That's the one? Doctor heard something awful.
Speaker 14 (20:27):
We will take care of that. This is a large
cavity and I'll have to fill it right away. Do
you want gold or silver?
Speaker 4 (20:35):
I want cement.
Speaker 7 (20:38):
Cement is no good, mister Benny. It wears out.
Speaker 6 (20:40):
Listen, doctor, I've seen sidewalks around here for years and
they're holding up.
Speaker 4 (20:43):
All right, I go ahead.
Speaker 7 (20:47):
And fill it very well. I'll use cement and then
we'll all put our footprints in it.
Speaker 6 (20:52):
I'm not Brahmin's Chinese brother.
Speaker 4 (20:55):
I don't want to bother filling this tooth. I want
to pull all right.
Speaker 7 (20:58):
Then, perhaps I ought to give you an.
Speaker 4 (20:59):
ANDAs perhaps nothing knocked me out, Perhaps.
Speaker 7 (21:02):
Yet ellywill we'll give you gas out. Get easy, mister Benny,
relax and breathe deeply.
Speaker 4 (21:08):
What are you going to do?
Speaker 5 (21:09):
Nurse?
Speaker 7 (21:09):
Place the mask?
Speaker 2 (21:10):
So please?
Speaker 7 (21:10):
No, yes, doctor now inhale slowly and you'll soon be
in dream lads.
Speaker 4 (21:16):
Wait a minute, doctor, Wait a minute.
Speaker 3 (21:18):
Now, just relax.
Speaker 7 (21:19):
Why by mister Benny.
Speaker 4 (21:21):
Marry Mary? Where are you here? I am Mary.
Speaker 6 (21:24):
Keep your eye on my money while I'm under the
while I'm under the anesthetic.
Speaker 8 (21:30):
Okay, which doc is it in.
Speaker 6 (21:32):
The right one? Hey doctor, I don't think I want
to send me those clams, so you are. I don't
think that's a live objector yes, I don't think.
Speaker 7 (21:42):
I don't think.
Speaker 15 (21:55):
Oh well if I live and brush my teeth with
eye panic if it isn't Denny and he's sleeping sounder
than his audience on Sunday night.
Speaker 4 (22:05):
Oh, nurse, nurse, just delter Allen, hand me that chisue.
I'm going to do this the hard way.
Speaker 8 (22:10):
Here you are, destor Allen, Thank.
Speaker 4 (22:12):
You, missus. Day This is Day bred Allen, Grandma.
Speaker 1 (22:23):
The Gello Program starring Phil Harris, with Mary Livingston, Mahat, mccandy,
George Bernard Shaw and yours truly Lady Giva.
Speaker 4 (22:39):
Hello again, This is Jack Benny talking.
Speaker 15 (22:42):
Now hold on there, Bennie, it's town Hall tonight.
Speaker 5 (22:44):
What why Portland? What are you laughing at?
Speaker 4 (22:48):
Wait a minute, that's not Portland. That's Mary Levings. Shut up, Carmichael. Carmichael,
who's Carmichael? Oh my goodness, look at this white furl
all over me.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
Program starring Phila Harrison. This orchestra, the orchestrap is a
program with Shaharrazadi. Buy a repsk cosser car.
Speaker 4 (23:06):
That's a lie, the lever maked Let me let me
out of this chair out here, hold steel, Carmichael, I'm
(23:26):
not Carmichael. I'm Jack Benny.
Speaker 15 (23:28):
Missus day hand me that crow bar. I'm not getting
anywhere with this chisel, crow bar.
Speaker 4 (23:32):
Let me out of here.
Speaker 6 (23:33):
Let me out, good thing I got away from there?
Where am I?
Speaker 2 (23:47):
What am I doing?
Speaker 7 (23:48):
A cad?
Speaker 9 (23:49):
Who's that coming to Harmichael?
Speaker 7 (23:51):
Your dance car?
Speaker 4 (23:56):
What I've been waiting a long time for this? Rochester?
Speaker 2 (24:00):
Rochester?
Speaker 5 (24:00):
What are you doing with that razor?
Speaker 2 (24:01):
Ain't no Hills backing away?
Speaker 4 (24:02):
Carmichael, Winner's coming and popping needs a fur coat? Look, Rochester,
I'm not Carmichael. This is me your boss, mister Benny.
Speaker 7 (24:10):
Mister Benny, Yes.
Speaker 4 (24:11):
Put down that razor. I'll give you a new tuxeed.
Speaker 7 (24:13):
I'll give you anything you want.
Speaker 4 (24:14):
I'll give you a raisin Salary.
Speaker 9 (24:15):
Huh, you ain't mister Benny.
Speaker 7 (24:20):
Rochester.
Speaker 4 (24:21):
Harmichael, you are poub to become a pond memory, Rochester.
Speaker 7 (24:24):
Let go of me.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
Ain't no hills fatching pull in those long claws.
Speaker 4 (24:27):
These are claws, Rochester. These are my fingernail.
Speaker 8 (24:29):
Would you las Anikin and mister Danny.
Speaker 4 (24:33):
No, I'm just here to get my tooth. Rochester, Get
away from me.
Speaker 5 (24:35):
What are you gonna do?
Speaker 4 (24:36):
Harmichael.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
I'm gonna carve you up and have you for a
Thanksgiving dinner.
Speaker 4 (24:40):
Rochester.
Speaker 5 (24:40):
You don't even know what Thanksgiving is?
Speaker 7 (24:42):
Who does.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
A Rochester?
Speaker 4 (24:52):
For the last time? Get away from it?
Speaker 2 (24:53):
How are your Rochester?
Speaker 5 (24:54):
Look this Bill.
Speaker 4 (24:55):
Harris, He'll tell you who I am. Hello, Philsey, How
are you?
Speaker 3 (24:58):
Carl Michael?
Speaker 2 (24:58):
There's a fish for you.
Speaker 5 (25:02):
Look at me.
Speaker 4 (25:02):
I'm not Carmichael.
Speaker 16 (25:03):
I'm Jack your pal, Jack Benny the actor. I'm sorry,
we don't give theatrical rate. Doctor, Doctor, hand me that
hack saw, missus D. We're coming along fine here you
are doctor, Thank you, missus D.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
I'm not missus Day. I'm Carmichael.
Speaker 4 (25:15):
You are not I'm Carmichael. I mean I'm Jack Benny.
Speaker 7 (25:20):
Mary.
Speaker 4 (25:21):
What are you laughing at?
Speaker 8 (25:21):
How can I laugh? I'm a poach day.
Speaker 4 (25:25):
Hoorry? What are you talking about?
Speaker 9 (25:26):
Where are you?
Speaker 2 (25:27):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (25:27):
My two?
Speaker 8 (25:28):
Doctor Allen, you'll never get the tooth out that way.
Speaker 4 (25:30):
You have to use dynam old.
Speaker 15 (25:32):
Dynamite is so messy, missus. D hand me my machine gun?
Speaker 4 (25:36):
Machine gun?
Speaker 7 (25:37):
No?
Speaker 4 (25:37):
No, now, hold still, Benny. I want to make a
nice clean job of me. Please, Fred, Please, you can't
do this to me.
Speaker 7 (25:43):
I'm a polar beardl to love animals.
Speaker 5 (25:46):
Don't, Fred, don't.
Speaker 4 (26:01):
Where am I? Where am I?
Speaker 7 (26:03):
It's all over, mister Bennie. That didn't hurt, now did
it hurt?
Speaker 4 (26:06):
Where's bred Allen?
Speaker 2 (26:08):
Where's Harris? Wait?
Speaker 4 (26:09):
I get my hands on that rocket.
Speaker 7 (26:10):
I'll calm down, mister Benny. You would just dreaming, dreaming?
Speaker 4 (26:14):
Oh?
Speaker 7 (26:15):
Yes, you gave me guess and I certainly did. And
here's your two. It's a beauty, isn't it my too?
Speaker 9 (26:20):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (26:21):
You mind?
Speaker 6 (26:21):
If I keep it, I'm gonna help you know. Oh
that's perfectly all right. Well I feel much better now.
How much do I owe you?
Speaker 4 (26:33):
Doctor?
Speaker 7 (26:33):
That'll be thirty five dollars.
Speaker 17 (26:35):
Thirty five dollars goes again. Playtail repeated by a popular.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
Request in the language of radio in the theater.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
That means a hit, and it means a hit to
apply to some tasty dish that must be served again
and again. The cause of the whole family's enthusiasm for
it such a dash, ladies and gentlemen, is pineapple strawberry
whip and exciting new jellow dessert.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
One thing it's as easy as can be to make.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
Simply dissolve one package of fragrance strawberry jello in a
pint of hot water, then chill until cold and syrupy. Next,
place it in a bowl of cracked ice or ice water,
and whip with a rotary egg beaterer until it becomes
light and fluffy. And finally, just before molding it, fold
in one cup of canned crushed pineapples. It's downright thrilling
the way those golden titbits of juicy pineapple compliment the
(27:36):
rich ruby goodness of strawberry jello. And you can bet
that everybody will want this colorful, striking dessert repeated by
popular requests many times. So ask your grocer tomorrow for
some strawberry jello, and tomorrow night from the family, gather
around the dinner table, surprise them with a glorious bowl
of Jello's new Pineapples.
Speaker 6 (27:54):
Strawberry Whim is the last number of the six program
in the New Jello series, and we will be with
you again next Sunday night at the same time. Before
we say good night, I would like to remind you
of the annual Red.
Speaker 4 (28:12):
Cross roll Fall.
Speaker 6 (28:14):
Every citizen should join because your memberships are the sole
support of the regular Red Cross program of fighting the
suffering caused by disease, accident and disaster. So may I
urge you to join the Red Cross through your local
Red Cross chapter.
Speaker 4 (28:26):
Good Night Falls.
Speaker 5 (28:32):
Here's news.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
Every Tuesday night, the Alrich Family is on the air,
starring Ethra Stollers, Henry Alrich, that lovable hard Luck Kiss results,
your local newspaper, a radio guide from Tireman Stations. I'm
re sure to tune in on the al Rich Family
next Tuesday night.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
This is the national book justin Jumperment
The Jello Program starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston, Phil Harris,
Dennis stand Yours Truly, Don Wilson.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
The Orchantrope has a program.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
With Old Johnny.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
This morning, I was looking over the book reviews of
the Sunday Paper and reading the lists of bestsellers, and
that just happened to give me an idea. I like
to recommend to you a grand best seller in the
field of dessert, dessert that's not only currently popular, but
it has been on the bestseller list for years and years.
The author is General Foods, and the name is Jello,
and ladies and gentlemen, that's a mighty important thing because
(00:44):
it's a trademark. It's the property of General Foods that
tells you here is the real thing, the one and
only Jello. If you hear any other Jelatin dessert called jello,
you know that's incorrect.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Well, there is no other.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
So when you buy, accept any substitutes, ask for Jello
by a name, and.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
You can be sure every time of getting your favorite dessert.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
You can be sure of enjoying that delicious, extra rich flavor,
so full bodied and tempting as in fighting as a price.
Ripe fruit look for those big red letters on the box.
They smell jello, your password to pleasure. That was all Johnny,
(01:42):
played by Phil Harrison his orchestra. And now, ladies and gentlemen,
Oh Jack Jack, Yes, Don, is your tooth still bothering you?
Speaker 4 (01:50):
Yes, little Don, but it'll be all right.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
Go ahead, and now, ladies and gentlemen, you ought to
see a dabis jacket tooth.
Speaker 5 (01:56):
They can be very annoyed.
Speaker 4 (01:57):
I know, Don, but I'm all right.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Go ahead and introduce And no, ladies and gentlemen, but
jackets must hurt.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
Don't you feel any jumping fans only.
Speaker 4 (02:05):
When you mention it? Now, please go ahead and introduce.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Me, all right, Jack, And now, ladies and gentlemen, without
further ado, we bring you a man who, despite a
severe toothache, feels that the show must go off. That
brave little soldier, that grand old trooper Jack Benny's.
Speaker 4 (02:30):
Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 6 (02:31):
Oh that's too jeel Again, this is Jack Benny talking
through a murderous molar. Well, Don, here it is Sunday again.
We're back on the old merryground times. Sure replies, doesn't
it it?
Speaker 2 (02:42):
Certainly?
Speaker 4 (02:42):
Does?
Speaker 3 (02:43):
You know?
Speaker 1 (02:43):
Jacket doesn't seem possible that we've been on the air
six times already this season.
Speaker 6 (02:46):
No, it doesn't, oh, kitting fellas, that we've been on
the air six weeks. Yes, they'll and the sure roll
around fat, don't they. Yeah, it seems like I hardly
get one fat check laugh to start battling for the
next one.
Speaker 7 (02:58):
Oh you do?
Speaker 2 (02:59):
Well?
Speaker 6 (02:59):
Listen were you I take my paychecks anyway I could
get them? Yeah, yeah, I wouldn't complain about your job.
Speaker 4 (03:04):
You're very lucky.
Speaker 7 (03:06):
You know.
Speaker 6 (03:06):
In Musical Circle they refer to you as horseshoe Harris,
and that goes for your boys too, those seventeen rabbits feet.
Speaker 4 (03:21):
Well enough alone, Now what was I talking about, Don?
Speaker 5 (03:25):
You were complaining about your tooth?
Speaker 4 (03:26):
I was not. I was talking about how the weeks
fly by.
Speaker 6 (03:29):
You know, Don, Sometimes it amazes me how I can
prepare all the ideas that go into this program in
seven days.
Speaker 4 (03:35):
It's really quite a grind.
Speaker 5 (03:36):
I can appreciate that, Jack. It must be pretty tough.
Speaker 6 (03:38):
Oh it is, don Tis. I don't know what you're
squalking about. Look at all the band numbers I got
to rehearse and get ready. It's no sense, believe me.
Do you mean to tell me you actually prepare your
numbers ahead of time, those voodoo volses. Sure we gotta
have everything right up to snow. We got to live
(04:00):
up to our slogan. You know your slogan. Oh you've
got a slogan now, sure listen to this. If it's
a Harris selection, it's sheer perfection.
Speaker 4 (04:08):
Well, well, say, that's very good.
Speaker 5 (04:10):
I got another one we use on the road. Get this.
If it's a Harris number, you'll never slump.
Speaker 6 (04:15):
I agree with you there, and Phil, if you can
stand one more slogan, It goes like this. If it's
a harrass melody, it's sure to smellody. And I don't
mean Christmas night. Now where was I What were we
talking about? Don You were complaining about your two?
Speaker 4 (04:35):
I was not no down there times? Oh hello Mary,
Hello Jack?
Speaker 8 (04:39):
Hey, what's the matter with your fate?
Speaker 7 (04:41):
My face?
Speaker 8 (04:42):
Yeah, one cheek didn't sunk in anymore.
Speaker 4 (04:45):
Oh that's my two. My left cheek is swollen a little,
a little.
Speaker 8 (04:49):
You look like a squirrel. It's all set for a
long winter. Oh I do, my goodness, Jack, that's who's involving.
Speaker 7 (04:59):
You all week.
Speaker 8 (05:00):
Why don't you have it pulled out?
Speaker 4 (05:01):
Oh? The panels go away, say Fellows, I.
Speaker 8 (05:03):
Never taught anybody so scared of a Dana.
Speaker 6 (05:05):
I'm not scared of a Dannis. That tooth is loose
and will probably pull out by itself.
Speaker 8 (05:08):
You mean, like that ten stuff on top of your head.
Speaker 4 (05:14):
I mean, don't worry about me. I'll get this tooth
fixed my own way.
Speaker 5 (05:17):
Say Jackson, what one.
Speaker 6 (05:18):
Of my piano players don't like you? He'll be glad
to knock it out. Oh you mean that little squirt
sitting over there. Why I'll know the other one?
Speaker 4 (05:26):
Oh? Oh, hello, butch I didn't see it. I'll go
sit down.
Speaker 8 (05:32):
He won't hit you, Jack with those glasses on.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
He's right, jackets against the law to hit anybody that's
wearing glasses.
Speaker 4 (05:37):
Listen down.
Speaker 6 (05:37):
I said that to a big guy one day, and
he took my glasses off, punched me in the nose,
and put him back on again.
Speaker 4 (05:43):
So don't tell me what were you doing.
Speaker 5 (05:45):
In the meantime, Jack.
Speaker 8 (05:46):
Was explaining the law to him.
Speaker 4 (05:52):
Yes, he'll know better next time, Say Phil, how.
Speaker 6 (05:55):
About playing a number? My tooth is acting up again.
I want to put a couple of drops in it.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
Okay, what kind of you think drops? Are using, Jack,
I don't know.
Speaker 6 (06:03):
It's something Rochester makes. I think it's chloroform and white mule.
It does the trick, though, Go ahead, Phil, play something
all right, Jackson, Get ready boys, and remember, folks, if
it's a Harris selection, it's sheer perfection.
Speaker 7 (06:16):
Yes, Hey, what's that for?
Speaker 9 (06:20):
Oh?
Speaker 6 (06:20):
You weren't here, Mary, But Phil has suddenly become slogan conscious.
Speaker 4 (06:23):
Give her that other one, Phil, Well.
Speaker 6 (06:25):
Here's one you haven't even heard yet. When smiling Harris
plays a tune every month in the year is June.
Speaker 4 (06:32):
How's that?
Speaker 9 (06:32):
Mary?
Speaker 8 (06:33):
Wow, that's corn that isn't even ripe yet.
Speaker 7 (06:37):
That's a good one, Say Jack, what if.
Speaker 8 (06:39):
Bob they'll ever comes back? I gotta tell slogan for you?
Speaker 4 (06:42):
Never mind?
Speaker 7 (06:42):
What is it?
Speaker 3 (06:43):
Mary?
Speaker 8 (06:43):
When Danny plays on his file in you can choot
him down and it ain't no sense, Mary, we.
Speaker 6 (06:51):
Weren't talking about my violence, so that lamp doesn't count. Well,
let's forget our poetry contest and get along with the show.
Play something, Phil.
Speaker 5 (06:58):
Oh wait a minute, Jack, you've all had your little poetry.
How about giving me a chance.
Speaker 6 (07:02):
Okay, don let's hear your contribution, said he with a
look of innocence in his baby blue eyes.
Speaker 4 (07:06):
Take it don all right, but I want.
Speaker 5 (07:08):
You to help me.
Speaker 7 (07:08):
Jack.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
Now you start me off with.
Speaker 4 (07:10):
Hello Joe, Okay, Hello Joe. What do you know?
Speaker 5 (07:13):
I just got back from the grocery store?
Speaker 2 (07:16):
Yes?
Speaker 5 (07:22):
Did you buy a box? If you know what? Yes, SuRie,
that's what I got. What's in this box?
Speaker 4 (07:27):
It's so deleted?
Speaker 5 (07:27):
I bet you wish you had a dish?
Speaker 4 (07:29):
Can this be jello?
Speaker 3 (07:30):
That you mean?
Speaker 8 (07:31):
Yeh yeh yeh on madam.
Speaker 4 (07:32):
Quan Harry ha spoiled the whole thing. That last line
didn't make.
Speaker 8 (07:38):
Sense, all right, send me to side area.
Speaker 4 (07:46):
Nothing to get funny about.
Speaker 6 (07:47):
Hey, genius, why play something that guy answers to anything?
Speaker 4 (07:51):
If you just put a hay in front.
Speaker 10 (07:52):
Of it, Formia, that old time swimmer, I would stop
(09:46):
as wonderful played by Phil Harris, who can now tear
up his slogan.
Speaker 4 (09:51):
A Harrah's selection as sheer perfection. Oh maha Rashia. And
now folks, wait.
Speaker 6 (09:58):
A minute, Jackie, you insinuating that the number was in harmonious.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
What's that in harmonious?
Speaker 5 (10:03):
Mediocre? Lacking in finesse and euphony?
Speaker 2 (10:06):
Why? Phil, Well, that's today's work.
Speaker 4 (10:08):
Good night, all Rotherland come back here. What a guy.
Speaker 6 (10:21):
He learns four big words and he's all in. And now, folks,
before we say where's Dennis? I saw him downstairs with
his mother just for the broadcast.
Speaker 8 (10:29):
I did too, And old Jack is missus Day mad
at you?
Speaker 4 (10:32):
Mad at me? Why we got to be very good
friends at my Halloween party?
Speaker 8 (10:35):
Well, she was home last night, he listening to our
program and she heard you call her a pet.
Speaker 4 (10:39):
I didn't call her a pet. I said she needed
a rest.
Speaker 8 (10:42):
Well she got it to watch out.
Speaker 6 (10:45):
Oh Mary, Missus Day is much too broad minded to
be upset about a little Joe and our folks. However, Mary,
I wouldn't mention anything about her when she comes in.
Speaker 4 (10:52):
You know, yeah, I know you know.
Speaker 9 (10:54):
How it is.
Speaker 8 (10:54):
Yeah, I know how it is.
Speaker 7 (10:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (10:56):
An ow folks, and now folks, Mary, let me along
and our folks.
Speaker 6 (11:02):
Following our success last week with our version of the Women,
tonight we are going to Oh boy, wasn't I marvelous
in that play? What didn't I give a terrific performance? Yes, Phil,
you were sensational. Would you consider a thousand dollars raising salary?
I feel guilty having you at these prices.
Speaker 5 (11:23):
That's a deal.
Speaker 4 (11:24):
Shake, get away or I'll break your arms.
Speaker 6 (11:28):
Terrific performance anyway, folks, As I was saying, following our
success last week with the women, tonight.
Speaker 4 (11:34):
We are going to offer all is coming.
Speaker 6 (11:36):
Well Hello Dennis, Oh, mister Venny and your mother's with you.
Speaker 4 (11:40):
Well, well, this is nice of goodnything. Missus Day.
Speaker 7 (11:43):
How do you do.
Speaker 4 (11:48):
Well, you're looking very good.
Speaker 5 (11:49):
Appreciate thanks, and you will please refer to me as
missus Day.
Speaker 8 (11:53):
Well it is now twenty degrees cooler inside marriage.
Speaker 6 (11:58):
Well, Dennis, I'm glad you're here. I know you have
a lovely song prepared for us tonight.
Speaker 5 (12:05):
Are you ready? Yes, I am, say mister Venny.
Speaker 7 (12:08):
What's the matter with your jaw?
Speaker 4 (12:09):
Did someone hit you?
Speaker 6 (12:10):
And no, Dennis, I have a bad toothache, you know,
missus Day. It hurts like a dickens. It's really a
miracle that I can be funny tonight.
Speaker 4 (12:17):
You were very funny last week, very funny.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
Oh.
Speaker 4 (12:21):
Did you enjoy the show?
Speaker 5 (12:23):
Yes, especially the power where you called me a pist.
Speaker 7 (12:25):
It was such a brilliant remark.
Speaker 6 (12:27):
Why, Missus Day, I called you a past Yes you
did on the radio, Yes, on the radio.
Speaker 5 (12:33):
On my program.
Speaker 8 (12:34):
It wasn't duke a briggan. It's happy Hawaiian.
Speaker 4 (12:44):
I require now look, missus day.
Speaker 6 (12:46):
It may have sounded like I called you a pass,
but this darn tooth of mine slurs my words and
bothering me all week.
Speaker 4 (12:52):
Your tooth, yes, you can see for yourself. Look the word.
One word here, the one under earn.
Speaker 6 (12:59):
Sir, Oh, that does look pretty bad.
Speaker 8 (13:03):
Say Jack, let me hear you say your name, work.
Let me hear you say your name.
Speaker 4 (13:07):
Jerk Gurney.
Speaker 8 (13:07):
That's what I thought.
Speaker 4 (13:16):
Norry, I've got a toothache. I prefer a little sympathy.
Speaker 8 (13:18):
To ridy que well in, for heaven's sake, stop complaining
to go to ais.
Speaker 4 (13:22):
I'm not going to a dentist.
Speaker 8 (13:23):
What's the matter? You afraid?
Speaker 4 (13:25):
No, I'm not afraid.
Speaker 5 (13:25):
Well, there's only one other reason, so let's take up
a collection.
Speaker 6 (13:30):
Well, I won't be necessary. The first time I ever
had trouble with a tooth. I haven't been to a
dentist since I was ten years old.
Speaker 8 (13:36):
Don't tell me you made those uppers yourself.
Speaker 4 (13:43):
Now, I didn't make those uppers my.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
Town, Jack.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
I don't want to be an alarm us, but I
think you ought to do something about that tooth that
might lead to serious consequences.
Speaker 4 (13:51):
Well, Gie, it does hurt. But I don't know who
to go do.
Speaker 8 (13:54):
I know? A go Dennis, Jack, and he's just two
blocks from here. Come on, let's go.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
Don't pull Go ahead, Jack, we'll get care of the program.
Speaker 4 (14:00):
Sure, I got some swell jokes, and I'm dying to
tell them. I know you're jokes. Bill. Oh waiter, have
you got frogs legs?
Speaker 5 (14:06):
No?
Speaker 4 (14:07):
I always walk this way.
Speaker 6 (14:17):
That's nice smart material. Come on, Mary, let's go. Okay, well,
so long fella.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
All right, Dennis, you can go ahead with your song.
Speaker 11 (14:26):
Now what's going to be I'm gonna be going to
see a very popular number called a Man in his
Dream from picture the Stoppydurn Think Crosby, I got that in, Dennis,
don't be such a ham No sing.
Speaker 5 (14:52):
You always stop.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
I imagination.
Speaker 4 (14:57):
Sometimes it more as I'm fia see.
Speaker 12 (15:01):
And one time by fine vision flash my mind.
Speaker 13 (15:08):
Blows st reality.
Speaker 12 (15:14):
Not the cocketll a hidden leave um and here and
there a star.
Speaker 5 (15:26):
For a man.
Speaker 12 (15:28):
And his dream, not the cricket's crime, A whispered.
Speaker 4 (15:38):
Word, a kiss, and now and then a star.
Speaker 13 (15:44):
For a man and his read.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
And their eyes when they be seem.
Speaker 12 (15:55):
To stay supplies and the ah proudly.
Speaker 7 (16:04):
With tune that is old of than time.
Speaker 12 (16:11):
No, it must fade away, and yet it leaves the
love soul world.
Speaker 13 (16:20):
We'll say there's a word, and his readrive when.
Speaker 12 (16:31):
They meet seem to say oblime, and they're all proudly be.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
To a tune that is older than time.
Speaker 12 (16:48):
No must fade away, and yet it leaves alone.
Speaker 7 (16:56):
So long.
Speaker 3 (17:03):
There's a more.
Speaker 6 (17:31):
No, marry my tooth doesn't seem to be bothering me now.
I think I'll let it go to some other times.
Speaker 8 (17:35):
You'll do nothing of the time. Here's the dentist's office.
Speaker 4 (17:38):
Well i'd rather wait you just swell.
Speaker 8 (17:39):
Dennis Jack. Look at that sign where right there? Doctor
Frank Nelson bridges like San Francisco.
Speaker 4 (17:47):
He's not very modest, is he.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
Well let's go in.
Speaker 4 (17:51):
They's got a nice office, hasn't he? Yeah?
Speaker 8 (17:54):
How do you do?
Speaker 9 (17:54):
So?
Speaker 4 (17:55):
How do you do? I like to see doctor Nelson?
Speaker 8 (17:57):
The doctor is busy with a patient right now? Would
you carry to wait? Yes, well you know what you're doing.
Speaker 7 (18:02):
I guess.
Speaker 8 (18:06):
What I'll tell that after you're here. Please you see this.
Speaker 4 (18:16):
What's that, missus? That a drill?
Speaker 8 (18:17):
Yeah, the doctor's working out of patience.
Speaker 4 (18:20):
Had say, Mary, are you are you sure this Dennis
is all right?
Speaker 8 (18:25):
Of course he's all right. Do I look worried?
Speaker 4 (18:28):
No?
Speaker 6 (18:28):
But then I'm the one with the toothache. I'm not worried, Mary,
but I just want to make sure that. Well, let's
scram I hate this waiting.
Speaker 8 (18:45):
Come on, Mary, come here. Doctor Nelson is absolutely painless, hairless.
Speaker 5 (18:52):
What was that six o'clock?
Speaker 4 (19:01):
I'm getting out of here.
Speaker 7 (19:03):
That'll be all for today, missus Stewart. When will I
see you again?
Speaker 8 (19:06):
You should live so long?
Speaker 5 (19:10):
Hmm?
Speaker 7 (19:11):
Well, young man, are you waiting to see me?
Speaker 4 (19:13):
Yes?
Speaker 7 (19:13):
But I your name?
Speaker 4 (19:14):
Please, Benny? I'm Jack Benny the actor.
Speaker 7 (19:17):
Sorry, we don't give theatrical rates.
Speaker 6 (19:22):
Well, I didn't mean it that way. I expect to
pay the same price as anybody else.
Speaker 8 (19:27):
Eventually, Mary, ooh, that's tooth dropping again.
Speaker 7 (19:33):
Stip right this way, please follow me.
Speaker 4 (19:35):
Can I come in to right with me?
Speaker 7 (19:37):
Oh?
Speaker 14 (19:38):
Nurse terilyze my mandibular injector and have the gunn of
perchure ready.
Speaker 8 (19:42):
Yes.
Speaker 7 (19:42):
Now, I'll step into this chair, mister Benny, and I'll
strap you in.
Speaker 4 (19:47):
Strap me in.
Speaker 7 (19:48):
Yes, we don't want you squirming around.
Speaker 8 (19:50):
Oh would you like a manakin, mister Benny?
Speaker 4 (19:56):
No thanks, I just dropped in to have my tooth baite.
Speaker 7 (19:59):
Oh yeah, the tooth. Now, first we must determine which
one it is, yes, the moment?
Speaker 9 (20:04):
Is it this one?
Speaker 1 (20:07):
No?
Speaker 7 (20:08):
This one?
Speaker 4 (20:10):
No?
Speaker 9 (20:11):
Is it this one?
Speaker 4 (20:23):
Uh? That's the one? Doctor heard something awful.
Speaker 14 (20:27):
We will take care of that. This is a large
cavity and I'll have to fill it right away. Do
you want gold or silver?
Speaker 4 (20:35):
I want cement.
Speaker 7 (20:38):
Cement is no good, mister Benny. It wears out.
Speaker 6 (20:40):
Listen, doctor, I've seen sidewalks around here for years and
they're holding up.
Speaker 4 (20:43):
All right, I go ahead.
Speaker 7 (20:47):
And fill it very well. I'll use cement and then
we'll all put our footprints in it.
Speaker 6 (20:52):
I'm not Brahmin's Chinese brother.
Speaker 4 (20:55):
I don't want to bother filling this tooth. I want
to pull all right.
Speaker 7 (20:58):
Then, perhaps I ought to give you an.
Speaker 4 (20:59):
ANDAs perhaps nothing knocked me out, Perhaps.
Speaker 7 (21:02):
Yet ellywill we'll give you gas out. Get easy, mister Benny,
relax and breathe deeply.
Speaker 4 (21:08):
What are you going to do?
Speaker 5 (21:09):
Nurse?
Speaker 7 (21:09):
Place the mask?
Speaker 2 (21:10):
So please?
Speaker 7 (21:10):
No, yes, doctor now inhale slowly and you'll soon be
in dream lads.
Speaker 4 (21:16):
Wait a minute, doctor, Wait a minute.
Speaker 3 (21:18):
Now, just relax.
Speaker 7 (21:19):
Why by mister Benny.
Speaker 4 (21:21):
Marry Mary? Where are you here? I am Mary.
Speaker 6 (21:24):
Keep your eye on my money while I'm under the
while I'm under the anesthetic.
Speaker 8 (21:30):
Okay, which doc is it in.
Speaker 6 (21:32):
The right one? Hey doctor, I don't think I want
to send me those clams, so you are. I don't
think that's a live objector yes, I don't think.
Speaker 7 (21:42):
I don't think.
Speaker 15 (21:55):
Oh well if I live and brush my teeth with
eye panic if it isn't Denny and he's sleeping sounder
than his audience on Sunday night.
Speaker 4 (22:05):
Oh, nurse, nurse, just delter Allen, hand me that chisue.
I'm going to do this the hard way.
Speaker 8 (22:10):
Here you are, destor Allen, Thank.
Speaker 4 (22:12):
You, missus. Day This is Day bred Allen, Grandma.
Speaker 1 (22:23):
The Gello Program starring Phil Harris, with Mary Livingston, Mahat, mccandy,
George Bernard Shaw and yours truly Lady Giva.
Speaker 4 (22:39):
Hello again, This is Jack Benny talking.
Speaker 15 (22:42):
Now hold on there, Bennie, it's town Hall tonight.
Speaker 5 (22:44):
What why Portland? What are you laughing at?
Speaker 4 (22:48):
Wait a minute, that's not Portland. That's Mary Levings. Shut up, Carmichael. Carmichael,
who's Carmichael? Oh my goodness, look at this white furl
all over me.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
Program starring Phila Harrison. This orchestra, the orchestrap is a
program with Shaharrazadi. Buy a repsk cosser car.
Speaker 4 (23:06):
That's a lie, the lever maked Let me let me
out of this chair out here, hold steel, Carmichael, I'm
(23:26):
not Carmichael. I'm Jack Benny.
Speaker 15 (23:28):
Missus day hand me that crow bar. I'm not getting
anywhere with this chisel, crow bar.
Speaker 4 (23:32):
Let me out of here.
Speaker 6 (23:33):
Let me out, good thing I got away from there?
Where am I?
Speaker 2 (23:47):
What am I doing?
Speaker 7 (23:48):
A cad?
Speaker 9 (23:49):
Who's that coming to Harmichael?
Speaker 7 (23:51):
Your dance car?
Speaker 4 (23:56):
What I've been waiting a long time for this? Rochester?
Speaker 2 (24:00):
Rochester?
Speaker 5 (24:00):
What are you doing with that razor?
Speaker 2 (24:01):
Ain't no Hills backing away?
Speaker 4 (24:02):
Carmichael, Winner's coming and popping needs a fur coat? Look, Rochester,
I'm not Carmichael. This is me your boss, mister Benny.
Speaker 7 (24:10):
Mister Benny, Yes.
Speaker 4 (24:11):
Put down that razor. I'll give you a new tuxeed.
Speaker 7 (24:13):
I'll give you anything you want.
Speaker 4 (24:14):
I'll give you a raisin Salary.
Speaker 9 (24:15):
Huh, you ain't mister Benny.
Speaker 7 (24:20):
Rochester.
Speaker 4 (24:21):
Harmichael, you are poub to become a pond memory, Rochester.
Speaker 7 (24:24):
Let go of me.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
Ain't no hills fatching pull in those long claws.
Speaker 4 (24:27):
These are claws, Rochester. These are my fingernail.
Speaker 8 (24:29):
Would you las Anikin and mister Danny.
Speaker 4 (24:33):
No, I'm just here to get my tooth. Rochester, Get
away from me.
Speaker 5 (24:35):
What are you gonna do?
Speaker 4 (24:36):
Harmichael.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
I'm gonna carve you up and have you for a
Thanksgiving dinner.
Speaker 4 (24:40):
Rochester.
Speaker 5 (24:40):
You don't even know what Thanksgiving is?
Speaker 7 (24:42):
Who does.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
A Rochester?
Speaker 4 (24:52):
For the last time? Get away from it?
Speaker 2 (24:53):
How are your Rochester?
Speaker 5 (24:54):
Look this Bill.
Speaker 4 (24:55):
Harris, He'll tell you who I am. Hello, Philsey, How
are you?
Speaker 3 (24:58):
Carl Michael?
Speaker 2 (24:58):
There's a fish for you.
Speaker 5 (25:02):
Look at me.
Speaker 4 (25:02):
I'm not Carmichael.
Speaker 16 (25:03):
I'm Jack your pal, Jack Benny the actor. I'm sorry,
we don't give theatrical rate. Doctor, Doctor, hand me that
hack saw, missus D. We're coming along fine here you
are doctor, Thank you, missus D.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
I'm not missus Day. I'm Carmichael.
Speaker 4 (25:15):
You are not I'm Carmichael. I mean I'm Jack Benny.
Speaker 7 (25:20):
Mary.
Speaker 4 (25:21):
What are you laughing at?
Speaker 8 (25:21):
How can I laugh? I'm a poach day.
Speaker 4 (25:25):
Hoorry? What are you talking about?
Speaker 9 (25:26):
Where are you?
Speaker 2 (25:27):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (25:27):
My two?
Speaker 8 (25:28):
Doctor Allen, you'll never get the tooth out that way.
Speaker 4 (25:30):
You have to use dynam old.
Speaker 15 (25:32):
Dynamite is so messy, missus. D hand me my machine gun?
Speaker 4 (25:36):
Machine gun?
Speaker 7 (25:37):
No?
Speaker 4 (25:37):
No, now, hold still, Benny. I want to make a
nice clean job of me. Please, Fred, Please, you can't
do this to me.
Speaker 7 (25:43):
I'm a polar beardl to love animals.
Speaker 5 (25:46):
Don't, Fred, don't.
Speaker 4 (26:01):
Where am I? Where am I?
Speaker 7 (26:03):
It's all over, mister Bennie. That didn't hurt, now did
it hurt?
Speaker 4 (26:06):
Where's bred Allen?
Speaker 2 (26:08):
Where's Harris? Wait?
Speaker 4 (26:09):
I get my hands on that rocket.
Speaker 7 (26:10):
I'll calm down, mister Benny. You would just dreaming, dreaming?
Speaker 4 (26:14):
Oh?
Speaker 7 (26:15):
Yes, you gave me guess and I certainly did. And
here's your two. It's a beauty, isn't it my too?
Speaker 9 (26:20):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (26:21):
You mind?
Speaker 6 (26:21):
If I keep it, I'm gonna help you know. Oh
that's perfectly all right. Well I feel much better now.
How much do I owe you?
Speaker 4 (26:33):
Doctor?
Speaker 7 (26:33):
That'll be thirty five dollars.
Speaker 17 (26:35):
Thirty five dollars goes again. Playtail repeated by a popular.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
Request in the language of radio in the theater.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
That means a hit, and it means a hit to
apply to some tasty dish that must be served again
and again. The cause of the whole family's enthusiasm for
it such a dash, ladies and gentlemen, is pineapple strawberry
whip and exciting new jellow dessert.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
One thing it's as easy as can be to make.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
Simply dissolve one package of fragrance strawberry jello in a
pint of hot water, then chill until cold and syrupy. Next,
place it in a bowl of cracked ice or ice water,
and whip with a rotary egg beaterer until it becomes
light and fluffy. And finally, just before molding it, fold
in one cup of canned crushed pineapples. It's downright thrilling
the way those golden titbits of juicy pineapple compliment the
(27:36):
rich ruby goodness of strawberry jello. And you can bet
that everybody will want this colorful, striking dessert repeated by
popular requests many times. So ask your grocer tomorrow for
some strawberry jello, and tomorrow night from the family, gather
around the dinner table, surprise them with a glorious bowl
of Jello's new Pineapples.
Speaker 6 (27:54):
Strawberry Whim is the last number of the six program
in the New Jello series, and we will be with
you again next Sunday night at the same time. Before
we say good night, I would like to remind you
of the annual Red.
Speaker 4 (28:12):
Cross roll Fall.
Speaker 6 (28:14):
Every citizen should join because your memberships are the sole
support of the regular Red Cross program of fighting the
suffering caused by disease, accident and disaster. So may I
urge you to join the Red Cross through your local
Red Cross chapter.
Speaker 4 (28:26):
Good Night Falls.
Speaker 5 (28:32):
Here's news.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
Every Tuesday night, the Alrich Family is on the air,
starring Ethra Stollers, Henry Alrich, that lovable hard Luck Kiss results,
your local newspaper, a radio guide from Tireman Stations. I'm
re sure to tune in on the al Rich Family
next Tuesday night.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
This is the national book justin Jumperment
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