July 30, 2025 • 28 mins
Enjoy "The Jack Benny Collection," a showcase of the best episodes from the legendary comedian's radio show. Experience the timeless humor, memorable characters, and witty scripts that made Jack Benny a household name. Perfect for fans of classic comedy and radio history, this collection offers a window into the golden age of entertainment.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
No no no no no no no.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
No no no no no no an American.
Speaker 3 (00:04):
The Jack Benny Program presented by Lucky Strike.
Speaker 4 (00:08):
Ceiling Low, stealing candy, my car, Lucky to see a
leveling my lucky to.
Speaker 5 (00:20):
Be your level best.
Speaker 6 (00:23):
That's just how you will feel when you light up
a lucky because lucky is fine tobacco picks you up
when you're low, calms you down when you're ten, put
you on the right level to feel and do your
level best. It's important to know that fine tobacco can
do this for you and ls m f T l
s m f T Lucky Strike means fine tobacco and
(00:44):
this fine Lucky Strike tobacco puts you on the right level,
the Lucky level where things seem right and are right
because you feel right.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Yes, smoker, lucky to feel your level best.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
The Lucky Strike.
Speaker 7 (01:04):
Program starring Jack Benny with Mary let me since till
the Harris Rochester, Dennis Dan Here's Probly Don Wilson.
Speaker 5 (01:22):
Ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker 7 (01:23):
The Jack Benny Show holds its rehearsals on Saturday, so
we'll take you back to yesterday and Studio B at
the CBS. Well, kids, if everybody's here, let's start rehearsing. Well,
Jack Marry isn't here yet, and neither's Our guests are
Van Johnson both late.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
Gee see that's funny, Dennis, Dennis, what are you laughing at?
He said it was funny, Dennis. When I said it
was funny, I meant it was hard to believe.
Speaker 7 (01:52):
That's right, kid, When Jackson said something's funny, it's hard
to believe.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Bill. Stop being on my side. Maybe Man Johnson got
mixed up about the time. I hope he gets here.
Stop worrying, Dad, What do you need Van Johnson for?
Speaker 5 (02:04):
When you got me me?
Speaker 2 (02:06):
The guy who's got so much charm? Paramount wants me
to play opposite myself in a picture. Yes, Phil, I
know the picture. Kiss the Scotch off my hand. Look, Uh,
Luca's comparing himself to Van Johnson.
Speaker 8 (02:27):
You know, Jack, I don't want to bride, but I've
had plenty of people compare me to him.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
Done the van they were comparing you with?
Speaker 4 (02:42):
Need I go further?
Speaker 2 (02:46):
The van has furniture sticking out, but I can't understand.
Oh Rochester, yeah boo, there's a phone out in the hall.
Called Van Johnson's house to see he's left for the studio. Yes,
have you got a nickel? Oh? Yes, yes, here, I'll
get it out of my coin first. Here you are, Rochester.
(03:08):
Here's a nickel.
Speaker 9 (03:09):
Look at that bot off off the break down?
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Never mind, Now here's Van Johnson's number. Go out in
the hall and call him.
Speaker 9 (03:19):
Yes, boss, the boss must be looking enough, having a
little break star like Van Johnson. And use a payphon
the same week. I wonder, Oh I dropped Nichols.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
Where they go? Don god, I can't see it anywhere.
Speaker 5 (03:37):
Well, the boss will get mad.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
But here those.
Speaker 9 (03:41):
Oh mister Penny, here it.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Is Rochester's rolled back to me. Now, now go call
Van Johnson.
Speaker 9 (03:55):
Yes, sir, Hello Josh Fishmarket, Joe's fish Market. I'm sure
(04:16):
donald number, mister Benny gave me.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
Oh hello Josh fish Market. Is there a Van Johnson there?
Speaker 4 (04:22):
It's just a second off line up.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Hey Clara, have we got a Van Johnson here?
Speaker 1 (04:27):
Not unless he came in with that love this morning.
I'm sorry, mister, we ain't got no Van Johnson.
Speaker 9 (04:35):
Could you use a hall of us?
Speaker 10 (04:37):
Not unless you can read lines?
Speaker 9 (04:40):
What goodbye? Say boss?
Speaker 10 (04:46):
The number you gave me.
Speaker 11 (04:47):
It isn't right, It isn't well.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
Okay, never been late before?
Speaker 1 (05:01):
Am I driving too fast?
Speaker 8 (05:02):
So are you?
Speaker 2 (05:03):
Then? Oh?
Speaker 5 (05:03):
No, Mary, you're doing fine.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
See Mary, it was nice for you to pick me up,
and it's really a beautiful drive from Beverly.
Speaker 5 (05:17):
Hills to the studio.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
I knew you didn't try the ride, so I took
a little roundabout way.
Speaker 5 (05:21):
I'm glad you did. I've never seen San Diego before.
Well it won't be long.
Speaker 12 (05:29):
Now we're back in Los Angeles.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
Say Mary, I thought you were in a hurry to
get to the studio. Why do you keep driving around
the same block?
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Well, that ceiling there is a may company. I want
the girls to see me.
Speaker 5 (05:44):
You better stop, Mary, The light just turned red.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Okay, you know when you came by my I.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Mean, mister, but I can't get a cab?
Speaker 13 (05:53):
Would you give me a mister sauce?
Speaker 3 (05:55):
No?
Speaker 1 (05:56):
Oh no, it isn't all.
Speaker 12 (06:05):
What a sull if you'd have gotten in here at
a punch to write in the nose? Say Van, how
do you happen to be a guest on Jack's program?
Speaker 3 (06:14):
Well, he made such an attractive offer I couldn't turn
it down.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Jack made you an attractive offer?
Speaker 6 (06:20):
What was it?
Speaker 5 (06:21):
He said?
Speaker 3 (06:21):
If I gave a good performance, he showed me how
to make Nicholas roll it back to him.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
She said, no kidding, man, how much is he paying
you to.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Be his guest? Well?
Speaker 3 (06:32):
As a matter of fact, I forgot to discuss money
when I had lunch with him yesterday lunch?
Speaker 6 (06:36):
Did you pick up the chest?
Speaker 2 (06:37):
No?
Speaker 5 (06:38):
He did, You've been paid?
Speaker 2 (06:43):
Well?
Speaker 1 (06:43):
Gee, I said, to drive faster, we'd be late to rehearsal.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Gosh, I can't understand what's keeping maryon Van Jack.
Speaker 5 (06:56):
I've just been looking.
Speaker 8 (06:57):
Through this radio mirror magazine and there's something in here
very nice about.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
You, about me? Yeah, swell down. What does it say?
Speaker 8 (07:04):
It says Genio Don Wilson, who is loved by millions
of people, was against selected there's radios number one announcers.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Don. Why'd you say that was about me?
Speaker 5 (07:15):
If I hadn't, you wouldn't have listened to it.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
What do you mean I wouldn't have listened to it?
If I'm that kind of a guy. Would I be
going all the way to San Francisco to appear on
the newspaper Men's Projects On next Saturday, March twenty sixth
in the Civic Auditorium at eight o'clock. If they don't
pay my railroad fare after that, let them get more
of the Amsterdam they fail. While we're waiting, why don't
(07:44):
you run through your band number and then we can good?
Speaker 9 (07:46):
Yeah, we're here.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
Well Hello Mary, Hi you Van?
Speaker 10 (07:49):
Hello Jack?
Speaker 2 (07:50):
Yeah, I'm glad you finally got here. We just started
to reheard. Now, Van, i'd like you to meet our
little group of Thespians. This is Don Wilson.
Speaker 5 (07:57):
Please to meet you, Dome. I'm certainly glad to meet you.
Speaker 3 (07:59):
Van, Say Jack, are those his chins or is he
chewing on a Venetian blind?
Speaker 2 (08:09):
Those are his kins?
Speaker 9 (08:10):
And Van?
Speaker 2 (08:11):
This is my orcit leader, Phil Harris.
Speaker 5 (08:13):
Hello Phil, Hi you Bob.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
What do you hear from the Hannah Rentz Company?
Speaker 5 (08:23):
Phil?
Speaker 2 (08:24):
But you're Van Johnson. Huh uh? Tell me something, John?
What makes all them dames so crazy about you?
Speaker 1 (08:29):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (08:29):
I don't know. I guess it's just sort of a
psychological phenomena.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
I'm dead, Phil, hell please, and Van, Van. This is
my vocalist, Dennis. Am glad to know you.
Speaker 5 (08:44):
Dennis.
Speaker 3 (08:44):
Should I swoon?
Speaker 2 (08:45):
Mister Benny? No, no, no, Denna that's for girls. Just
say hello, Hello. And now Van, I want to tell
you if.
Speaker 5 (08:52):
I'm mister Johnson.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
Yes, Senners, my mother thinks you're wonderful and pictures well, thank.
Speaker 5 (08:56):
You every time you smile.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
If he breaks out in big.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
Red blotches, Dennis, which he saw you in command decisions.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
She came home and burned her wedding dress.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
That's enough, Denners. And now Van, I want have got
so many through her teeth in the bendis Denna's.
Speaker 3 (09:17):
Before we could stopped the machine.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
She ate up her nightdown boy to don Now, Van,
before we started rehearsing, would you mind stepping into my
dressing room a minute. I want to discuss our financial
arrangement bill while Van and I are going run through
(09:40):
your number. Come on, man, well then here we are
my RETI room. So I said, no, no, no, this
(10:01):
will let me take a second. Now, Van, when you
make a guest appearance, how much.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
Do you usually get five thousand dollars?
Speaker 2 (10:12):
Sit down, Van, A Van, I think five hundred dollars
is a little too much. I said five thousand that
we're not going to discuss at all, but the showy
I'm willing to compromise. What would you say to three
hundred and fifty dollars.
Speaker 3 (10:31):
I'm sorry, Jack, but my price is five thousand.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
Five thousand dollars. Who do you think you are, Sterling
holloway Man. Let me ask you something. Why in the
world do you want five thousand dollars?
Speaker 5 (10:44):
Well, Jack, I got to think of the future.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
The future, Yeah, when I was sixty years old. I
don't want to have to tell people I'm thirty nine so.
Speaker 5 (10:51):
I can keep a job.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
Look, let's not rag out, Joelson, now band for the
last time. What is your rock bottom price?
Speaker 5 (11:06):
Five thousand dollars?
Speaker 2 (11:08):
Well, we'll just have to call it off, I guess.
But I can understand your position, Ban. After all, you
are a big star and all the girls are crazy
about you.
Speaker 5 (11:16):
And you know that's a mistaken idea.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
Jack. Everybody thinks that the girls are just nuts about me,
and it isn't true at all. It isn't no confidentially, Jack,
most of the glamor girls in Hollywood won't even split
at me.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
That's funny they do with me. I mean, I mean
they seem to think I'm hot stuff.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
Well anyway, Jack, run, it's just as I told you.
Speaker 5 (11:45):
Am I being a lady killer as a fallacy. Girls
don't go for me at all.
Speaker 11 (11:49):
Well, I'm second thought.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
I can understand that band. You see, freckles are all
right for a huckleberry fin but you see you've got
too many, too many freckles. Yes, now take my complexion,
it's perfectly. And look at your eyes. I don't know
they have no expression.
Speaker 5 (12:04):
They haven't.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
No. Now, if you'll notice my eyes sparkle, yes, they do.
And look at your hair, my hair, yes, I'll take mine.
Speaker 11 (12:13):
Thanks, not so far over to one side.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
But that isn't all man. Girls go for me because
I'm the outdoor tide, you the outdoor tied. I go
hunting and fishing. And as a matter of fact, I
just came back from my fishing trip on Lake Lead.
I had a wonderful time. I don't know, there's nothing
like the rugged life.
Speaker 5 (12:44):
Oh that's a camp out in the open.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
No. No. I stayed in Las Vegas at the Flamingo Hotel.
That's a Flamingo.
Speaker 5 (12:51):
Say, that's really a classy place.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
You're not kissing. He's only there a week, you know,
and ten bucks. But like that, I didn't gamble much,
you know, But I but I enjoyed it.
Speaker 5 (13:07):
Well, I can't understand the jech.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
I spent three days with the Flaming Go and it
costs me over one hundred dollars.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
Well, you don't play a violin. It's amazing. It's amazing.
Which is then pick up around the pool when people
are having drinks.
Speaker 5 (13:23):
You know?
Speaker 2 (13:23):
But Ben, getting back to your trouble with girls. Maybe
you've got the wrong approach, Maybe your technique isn't right.
I'll tell you what I'm going to do for you.
I've got a date tonight with a girlfriend. I'm going
to take her to zero. I'll call her up right
now and tell her to bring a girlfriend for you,
and then just watch the way I operate.
Speaker 5 (13:38):
Well, Jack, I don't know other girls pretty Van, leave
it to me.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
I know how to pick them, and you will have
a great time. I'll tell the girls to meet us
in front of CEO's at eight o'clock.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
Say, duous, why don't just magel? Are you sure he
bringing Van Johnson for me?
Speaker 2 (14:02):
Yeah? And you can have him.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
As far as I'm concerned, I just as soon go
out with men like Jack Benny. Why, Well, when a
man like Benny tries to kiss you, and you tell
him to stop, and he stops. You don't feel too
disappoint It ain't it's it's true. Imagine, I'm keeping us
waiting here in front of Cyrose. I wish they'd get
(14:26):
here already. I can't wait to see Dan Jenson Johnson
Schmansh And I'm hungry. Oh now, Joy, could you shouldn't
talk that way? You're a table maybel here they come now,
right out of that parking lot.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Man, you should look paid for the party.
Speaker 3 (14:42):
Well, I thought someone should. We've been sitting in a
lot since four o'clock. Oh yeah, Jack, Do you think
these girls will keep the date with us?
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Certainly? I told leimite us right out in front of Hey.
Here they are. Now we're right there. See the it
was too come back here, Van, Then what's the matter
(15:15):
with you?
Speaker 5 (15:15):
I wouldn't go into cereals with them?
Speaker 2 (15:17):
Why not?
Speaker 5 (15:18):
One of them is old enough to be my mother?
Speaker 2 (15:21):
Which one the one that looks like my father? Oh? Van,
look look at man, that's my girl. You've got the
cute short ones.
Speaker 5 (15:31):
Oh you mean the show one with the red press.
He hasn't got a bad shade.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
That's the fire plug. The girls are over there, sitting
on the curve. Now, now come on, okay, okay, hello
girl roots Mabel? How everybody calls me that? Manually? I
(15:58):
like to how you girls meet Ben Johns?
Speaker 5 (16:00):
Hello? Girls?
Speaker 1 (16:01):
Ye, yes, GUIDs with he's mine. You've got diamond Jim?
Speaker 2 (16:07):
All right, all right, now come on we'll go inside.
Now bam as doo as we get it.
Speaker 5 (16:13):
Let's call this thing off. I don't want to go
into Cerro's with those two days.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
But man, these girls are all right. In case anybody
picks a fight with us, the tall one can whip
her waiting wild Come on, van vam, why are you
taking my arm?
Speaker 5 (16:31):
I want to walk in with you.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
Well here we are. Oh girls, you want to check
your coat?
Speaker 1 (16:39):
Yeah, we'll shove him under the chair.
Speaker 2 (16:43):
God good, then we won't have to wait in line
when we leave. Good evening, Good evening. A captain, we'd
like a table for four. Have you a reservation?
Speaker 1 (16:51):
Reservation? What do you think we are Indians?
Speaker 2 (17:01):
Oh? Man, they're so funny, or they're a regular Abbath
and Castello they look like him too. Oh I don't know,
say bud, I'm talking to the captain. Captain, we don't
have a reservation, but give us any table for four?
(17:23):
Will yes, sir? Follow me here you are? Oh, thank you? Captain?
May we have menus? Please? Yes, sir, thank you? Now
let me see I good.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
You get a load of these prices?
Speaker 4 (17:36):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (17:37):
And they fancy?
Speaker 2 (17:39):
What the gurdur? That's a cold soup? Oh? Good? Then
I don't have to blow on it, JERKU please a van?
Would you like a drink?
Speaker 5 (17:54):
The quicker the better.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
What?
Speaker 5 (17:56):
But don't let me drink too much. I don't want
to see four of them?
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Okay, captain, bring us for martinis and then we'll order
the food. Yes, sir, say they have a nice orchestra here.
Speaker 5 (18:12):
Oh, gert Rude, would.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
You like to dance?
Speaker 14 (18:14):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (18:14):
Why do I put my shoes back on?
Speaker 2 (18:17):
All right? Say Van?
Speaker 1 (18:19):
How about you and me?
Speaker 5 (18:21):
No thanks, I'm not a very good dancer.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
I don't really, I'll leave you.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
Come on, don't be a smow well all right, say
gert Rude. You're really a swell dancer. I love to
dance with you. Gert Rut, I'm talking to you.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
I'm sorry. I was just day dreaming.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
I'll give you a penny for your thoughts.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
No thanks, lonely roll back to you.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
No, no, that only works with Nichols.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
I get terrific, Zan, And you said you couldn't, Van,
see this is a beauty singing.
Speaker 5 (19:04):
No, no, maybe I can't sing.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
You good to have some pist It came I center,
all right, you say.
Speaker 5 (19:15):
The song begins, you speak, and I hear violins. Its
magic the stars desert the skies and rush to nestle
in your eyes. Its magic without her gold and one
(19:36):
or mystic charm.
Speaker 4 (19:41):
Fantastic things begin when.
Speaker 5 (19:45):
I am in your own.
Speaker 13 (19:52):
When we were, When I think you out there, well you're.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
Doing it's critic.
Speaker 4 (20:09):
Why do I tell myself these things that happens are
all really true?
Speaker 13 (20:21):
When in my heart on world from man do my love?
Speaker 2 (20:42):
I I enjoyed that dat girt roll. Let's it out.
Our bricks are out of the table. Shall we shall
we are a poodo?
Speaker 11 (20:53):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (20:53):
I want to see what I think he's like.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
He looks like, Van, what are you gonna have? I
don't know.
Speaker 5 (20:58):
I'll think of something, says blue light.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
Have you guys figurettes?
Speaker 2 (21:02):
Yeah it's that old Dina. I'm out of them. You
gotta eat vance.
Speaker 5 (21:05):
No, but I'll call a cigarette girl over. Oh, miss Smith, Hey, Van.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
They know what you all? Four cigarette girls are coming over.
Hello girls, he say, girls, do you know who this
felly is? They know?
Speaker 5 (21:23):
Oh, girls, I'd.
Speaker 3 (21:24):
Like to get some cigarettes for our lady friends and
Sarah and Alana Turners.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
Van What made you say that?
Speaker 5 (21:34):
Two martinis?
Speaker 2 (21:36):
Yeah, they were strong, weren't they?
Speaker 1 (21:38):
What are you guys mumbling about nothing?
Speaker 2 (21:40):
Nothing? Girls? Give us some cigarettes pleas, yes, yes, cigarettes.
Speaker 10 (21:47):
Guess something? We yes to make your fear your level
best nice, Just lie unlucky, try for that's the one
that you are like that.
Speaker 15 (22:02):
When you are being allart feeling ah loy, try.
Speaker 10 (22:12):
To no for ladies and parton. That's common sense, you said,
then say theres that we prefer to l S NFTs most.
How else can we explain?
Speaker 1 (22:30):
You said?
Speaker 10 (22:31):
Time and time again?
Speaker 15 (22:32):
Is last?
Speaker 10 (22:35):
Why do we all we say that they are better
than all of the rest, but in our heart we
know they'll make you feel your legs?
Speaker 2 (23:02):
Now I care? Let's order some food. Man, What are
you gonna have?
Speaker 5 (23:05):
Nothing?
Speaker 1 (23:06):
Jack?
Speaker 5 (23:06):
I don't feel like eating good good?
Speaker 2 (23:13):
What are you gonna have? Gertrude?
Speaker 1 (23:14):
I want some dishy slazi you're the salami sandwich?
Speaker 2 (23:20):
Okay? What about you? Mabel?
Speaker 12 (23:22):
Well as long as I'm inside, though, I'd like to
say that's anything. Now, I think I'll have this tabanny
what it's rightly und the man?
Speaker 2 (23:30):
You see taban that's t bone? Oh captain, are you
ready to order?
Speaker 15 (23:37):
No?
Speaker 2 (23:37):
Yes, I'll have a caesar salad. We want some dishy flaw,
a salami sandwich and a tea bone steak. We have
no t bones. Yes, you have it right here on
the menu. See that's tebanybany. Yes, that's a rabbit baked
with an oyster in the smuth. Oh oh, well, I
(24:03):
guess you were right. Mabel?
Speaker 9 (24:04):
Would you like that?
Speaker 1 (24:05):
Do you have anything as long as it's dead, say Van.
Speaker 6 (24:14):
Van?
Speaker 2 (24:15):
Would you like another drink?
Speaker 5 (24:16):
Yeah, but I'd like something stronger this time.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
How about a zombie?
Speaker 11 (24:20):
No?
Speaker 5 (24:21):
Thanks the two we brought with us?
Speaker 11 (24:22):
Or enough?
Speaker 2 (24:25):
Well, don't have another Marquini. Okay, waiter, you've got our
orders and if you want to tip, you better take
away girthu behavior soun, say Van, yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
You sear out a cat. You tell me you couldn't dance,
and you dance like as Mary.
Speaker 5 (24:39):
Look, Mabel, you tell me you couldn't sing.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
You sing like Frank SINATCHI Mabel please, you and me
gotta see more of these sady you just like tis.
What would you have to do is say the ride
and believe me?
Speaker 2 (24:50):
I beg your pardon, mister Johnson. If there's a telephone
call for you, would you like to go out in
Antrath wh get your phone call? Man? It might be important.
Speaker 5 (25:06):
Yes, excuse me, please.
Speaker 2 (25:09):
Say he's uh, he's a nice fellow Asny Gertrude.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
Yes, say blue eyes. We're having so much fun. How
about ordering some champagne?
Speaker 2 (25:17):
Champagne?
Speaker 1 (25:19):
Well here come, I'm steedie. We only live once y
way waiting that like.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
Champagne, girtrud, not so loud, it's embarrassing.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
Well, jees him, this twenty you with a blue booker.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
Who's what.
Speaker 4 (25:35):
My virtue?
Speaker 2 (25:36):
Please be quiet?
Speaker 1 (25:37):
Job, Yeah, don't be such a big shop. We're not
red cracking.
Speaker 14 (25:41):
Now, girls, I'm just asking, pardon me, mister Benny. Yes, captain,
there's a phone call for you.
Speaker 2 (25:53):
Oh oh excuse me, girls, I'll be right back. Hey
Jack Jack way a minute? Van is the pool call
for me? No?
Speaker 3 (26:04):
No, there reason I sent the captain and to get
you what now here's a chance to beat it?
Speaker 2 (26:09):
Hey, you're right Van. You're right, let's get out of here.
Speaker 5 (26:13):
But how do you know those names won't follow us.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
Look, I've got their shoes. Come on, let's go, man,
ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker 8 (26:28):
The nineteen forty nine Easter Seal campaign is on Crippled
children can become useful citizens if we give them the
help they need while they are young and growing, such
as clinical care, schooling, capping, vocational guidance, and finally a job.
We can help them best by buying our share of
Easter Seals today. Thank you, Jack will be back and
got the moment the first mo.
Speaker 4 (26:49):
Lucky Mo, Lucky.
Speaker 5 (26:57):
And yes, lucky it's fine.
Speaker 6 (26:58):
Tobacco picks you up when you're calms you down when
you're ten. That's what fine tobacco can do for you.
And that's why it's so important that you select and
smoke the cigarette of fine tobacco. Lucky Strike or as
you know, ls MFT ls m f T Lucky Strike
means fine tobacco.
Speaker 5 (27:16):
No wonder. Luckies are the overwhelming choice.
Speaker 6 (27:18):
Of the tobacco experts. Men who can see the makers
of Lucky Strike consistently select and buy that fine, that
light that naturally mild tobacco. Yes, lucky strike means fine tobacco.
And this fine lucky strike tobacco puts you on the
right level, the lucky level where you feel your best
and do your best. Remember that when you choose your cigarette,
(27:39):
then ask for a carton of Lucky Strike.
Speaker 4 (27:43):
Stealing loing tent Mome lucky.
Speaker 5 (27:53):
Mo lucky.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
So, Mabel, what is a dices? Do you think they're
coming back? I don't know what time is it. It's
three thirty in the morning. Oh that is so late,
I know, but this is Tuesday. Well, if they both
come back by Friday, he'll go.
Speaker 2 (28:26):
I astapair through the country. Are not the Golden Mare?
Speaker 8 (28:28):
Producers of Little Women firing June Alison, Peter Lawford, mar.
Speaker 5 (28:31):
Gonna Brand to live in a pair? This is cy,
asked the Columbia broadcast in Pistons
No no no no no no no.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
No no no no no no an American.
Speaker 3 (00:04):
The Jack Benny Program presented by Lucky Strike.
Speaker 4 (00:08):
Ceiling Low, stealing candy, my car, Lucky to see a
leveling my lucky to.
Speaker 5 (00:20):
Be your level best.
Speaker 6 (00:23):
That's just how you will feel when you light up
a lucky because lucky is fine tobacco picks you up
when you're low, calms you down when you're ten, put
you on the right level to feel and do your
level best. It's important to know that fine tobacco can
do this for you and ls m f T l
s m f T Lucky Strike means fine tobacco and
(00:44):
this fine Lucky Strike tobacco puts you on the right level,
the Lucky level where things seem right and are right
because you feel right.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Yes, smoker, lucky to feel your level best.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
The Lucky Strike.
Speaker 7 (01:04):
Program starring Jack Benny with Mary let me since till
the Harris Rochester, Dennis Dan Here's Probly Don Wilson.
Speaker 5 (01:22):
Ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker 7 (01:23):
The Jack Benny Show holds its rehearsals on Saturday, so
we'll take you back to yesterday and Studio B at
the CBS. Well, kids, if everybody's here, let's start rehearsing. Well,
Jack Marry isn't here yet, and neither's Our guests are
Van Johnson both late.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
Gee see that's funny, Dennis, Dennis, what are you laughing at?
He said it was funny, Dennis. When I said it
was funny, I meant it was hard to believe.
Speaker 7 (01:52):
That's right, kid, When Jackson said something's funny, it's hard
to believe.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Bill. Stop being on my side. Maybe Man Johnson got
mixed up about the time. I hope he gets here.
Stop worrying, Dad, What do you need Van Johnson for?
Speaker 5 (02:04):
When you got me me?
Speaker 2 (02:06):
The guy who's got so much charm? Paramount wants me
to play opposite myself in a picture. Yes, Phil, I
know the picture. Kiss the Scotch off my hand. Look, Uh,
Luca's comparing himself to Van Johnson.
Speaker 8 (02:27):
You know, Jack, I don't want to bride, but I've
had plenty of people compare me to him.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
Done the van they were comparing you with?
Speaker 4 (02:42):
Need I go further?
Speaker 2 (02:46):
The van has furniture sticking out, but I can't understand.
Oh Rochester, yeah boo, there's a phone out in the hall.
Called Van Johnson's house to see he's left for the studio. Yes,
have you got a nickel? Oh? Yes, yes, here, I'll
get it out of my coin first. Here you are, Rochester.
(03:08):
Here's a nickel.
Speaker 9 (03:09):
Look at that bot off off the break down?
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Never mind, Now here's Van Johnson's number. Go out in
the hall and call him.
Speaker 9 (03:19):
Yes, boss, the boss must be looking enough, having a
little break star like Van Johnson. And use a payphon
the same week. I wonder, Oh I dropped Nichols.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
Where they go? Don god, I can't see it anywhere.
Speaker 5 (03:37):
Well, the boss will get mad.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
But here those.
Speaker 9 (03:41):
Oh mister Penny, here it.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Is Rochester's rolled back to me. Now, now go call
Van Johnson.
Speaker 9 (03:55):
Yes, sir, Hello Josh Fishmarket, Joe's fish Market. I'm sure
(04:16):
donald number, mister Benny gave me.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
Oh hello Josh fish Market. Is there a Van Johnson there?
Speaker 4 (04:22):
It's just a second off line up.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Hey Clara, have we got a Van Johnson here?
Speaker 1 (04:27):
Not unless he came in with that love this morning.
I'm sorry, mister, we ain't got no Van Johnson.
Speaker 9 (04:35):
Could you use a hall of us?
Speaker 10 (04:37):
Not unless you can read lines?
Speaker 9 (04:40):
What goodbye? Say boss?
Speaker 10 (04:46):
The number you gave me.
Speaker 11 (04:47):
It isn't right, It isn't well.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
Okay, never been late before?
Speaker 1 (05:01):
Am I driving too fast?
Speaker 8 (05:02):
So are you?
Speaker 2 (05:03):
Then? Oh?
Speaker 5 (05:03):
No, Mary, you're doing fine.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
See Mary, it was nice for you to pick me up,
and it's really a beautiful drive from Beverly.
Speaker 5 (05:17):
Hills to the studio.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
I knew you didn't try the ride, so I took
a little roundabout way.
Speaker 5 (05:21):
I'm glad you did. I've never seen San Diego before.
Well it won't be long.
Speaker 12 (05:29):
Now we're back in Los Angeles.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
Say Mary, I thought you were in a hurry to
get to the studio. Why do you keep driving around
the same block?
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Well, that ceiling there is a may company. I want
the girls to see me.
Speaker 5 (05:44):
You better stop, Mary, The light just turned red.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Okay, you know when you came by my I.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Mean, mister, but I can't get a cab?
Speaker 13 (05:53):
Would you give me a mister sauce?
Speaker 3 (05:55):
No?
Speaker 1 (05:56):
Oh no, it isn't all.
Speaker 12 (06:05):
What a sull if you'd have gotten in here at
a punch to write in the nose? Say Van, how
do you happen to be a guest on Jack's program?
Speaker 3 (06:14):
Well, he made such an attractive offer I couldn't turn
it down.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Jack made you an attractive offer?
Speaker 6 (06:20):
What was it?
Speaker 5 (06:21):
He said?
Speaker 3 (06:21):
If I gave a good performance, he showed me how
to make Nicholas roll it back to him.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
She said, no kidding, man, how much is he paying
you to.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Be his guest? Well?
Speaker 3 (06:32):
As a matter of fact, I forgot to discuss money
when I had lunch with him yesterday lunch?
Speaker 6 (06:36):
Did you pick up the chest?
Speaker 2 (06:37):
No?
Speaker 5 (06:38):
He did, You've been paid?
Speaker 2 (06:43):
Well?
Speaker 1 (06:43):
Gee, I said, to drive faster, we'd be late to rehearsal.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Gosh, I can't understand what's keeping maryon Van Jack.
Speaker 5 (06:56):
I've just been looking.
Speaker 8 (06:57):
Through this radio mirror magazine and there's something in here
very nice about.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
You, about me? Yeah, swell down. What does it say?
Speaker 8 (07:04):
It says Genio Don Wilson, who is loved by millions
of people, was against selected there's radios number one announcers.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Don. Why'd you say that was about me?
Speaker 5 (07:15):
If I hadn't, you wouldn't have listened to it.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
What do you mean I wouldn't have listened to it?
If I'm that kind of a guy. Would I be
going all the way to San Francisco to appear on
the newspaper Men's Projects On next Saturday, March twenty sixth
in the Civic Auditorium at eight o'clock. If they don't
pay my railroad fare after that, let them get more
of the Amsterdam they fail. While we're waiting, why don't
(07:44):
you run through your band number and then we can good?
Speaker 9 (07:46):
Yeah, we're here.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
Well Hello Mary, Hi you Van?
Speaker 10 (07:49):
Hello Jack?
Speaker 2 (07:50):
Yeah, I'm glad you finally got here. We just started
to reheard. Now, Van, i'd like you to meet our
little group of Thespians. This is Don Wilson.
Speaker 5 (07:57):
Please to meet you, Dome. I'm certainly glad to meet you.
Speaker 3 (07:59):
Van, Say Jack, are those his chins or is he
chewing on a Venetian blind?
Speaker 2 (08:09):
Those are his kins?
Speaker 9 (08:10):
And Van?
Speaker 2 (08:11):
This is my orcit leader, Phil Harris.
Speaker 5 (08:13):
Hello Phil, Hi you Bob.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
What do you hear from the Hannah Rentz Company?
Speaker 5 (08:23):
Phil?
Speaker 2 (08:24):
But you're Van Johnson. Huh uh? Tell me something, John?
What makes all them dames so crazy about you?
Speaker 1 (08:29):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (08:29):
I don't know. I guess it's just sort of a
psychological phenomena.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
I'm dead, Phil, hell please, and Van, Van. This is
my vocalist, Dennis. Am glad to know you.
Speaker 5 (08:44):
Dennis.
Speaker 3 (08:44):
Should I swoon?
Speaker 2 (08:45):
Mister Benny? No, no, no, Denna that's for girls. Just
say hello, Hello. And now Van, I want to tell
you if.
Speaker 5 (08:52):
I'm mister Johnson.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
Yes, Senners, my mother thinks you're wonderful and pictures well, thank.
Speaker 5 (08:56):
You every time you smile.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
If he breaks out in big.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
Red blotches, Dennis, which he saw you in command decisions.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
She came home and burned her wedding dress.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
That's enough, Denners. And now Van, I want have got
so many through her teeth in the bendis Denna's.
Speaker 3 (09:17):
Before we could stopped the machine.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
She ate up her nightdown boy to don Now, Van,
before we started rehearsing, would you mind stepping into my
dressing room a minute. I want to discuss our financial
arrangement bill while Van and I are going run through
(09:40):
your number. Come on, man, well then here we are
my RETI room. So I said, no, no, no, this
(10:01):
will let me take a second. Now, Van, when you
make a guest appearance, how much.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
Do you usually get five thousand dollars?
Speaker 2 (10:12):
Sit down, Van, A Van, I think five hundred dollars
is a little too much. I said five thousand that
we're not going to discuss at all, but the showy
I'm willing to compromise. What would you say to three
hundred and fifty dollars.
Speaker 3 (10:31):
I'm sorry, Jack, but my price is five thousand.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
Five thousand dollars. Who do you think you are, Sterling
holloway Man. Let me ask you something. Why in the
world do you want five thousand dollars?
Speaker 5 (10:44):
Well, Jack, I got to think of the future.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
The future, Yeah, when I was sixty years old. I
don't want to have to tell people I'm thirty nine so.
Speaker 5 (10:51):
I can keep a job.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
Look, let's not rag out, Joelson, now band for the
last time. What is your rock bottom price?
Speaker 5 (11:06):
Five thousand dollars?
Speaker 2 (11:08):
Well, we'll just have to call it off, I guess.
But I can understand your position, Ban. After all, you
are a big star and all the girls are crazy
about you.
Speaker 5 (11:16):
And you know that's a mistaken idea.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
Jack. Everybody thinks that the girls are just nuts about me,
and it isn't true at all. It isn't no confidentially, Jack,
most of the glamor girls in Hollywood won't even split
at me.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
That's funny they do with me. I mean, I mean
they seem to think I'm hot stuff.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
Well anyway, Jack, run, it's just as I told you.
Speaker 5 (11:45):
Am I being a lady killer as a fallacy. Girls
don't go for me at all.
Speaker 11 (11:49):
Well, I'm second thought.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
I can understand that band. You see, freckles are all
right for a huckleberry fin but you see you've got
too many, too many freckles. Yes, now take my complexion,
it's perfectly. And look at your eyes. I don't know
they have no expression.
Speaker 5 (12:04):
They haven't.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
No. Now, if you'll notice my eyes sparkle, yes, they do.
And look at your hair, my hair, yes, I'll take mine.
Speaker 11 (12:13):
Thanks, not so far over to one side.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
But that isn't all man. Girls go for me because
I'm the outdoor tide, you the outdoor tied. I go
hunting and fishing. And as a matter of fact, I
just came back from my fishing trip on Lake Lead.
I had a wonderful time. I don't know, there's nothing
like the rugged life.
Speaker 5 (12:44):
Oh that's a camp out in the open.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
No. No. I stayed in Las Vegas at the Flamingo Hotel.
That's a Flamingo.
Speaker 5 (12:51):
Say, that's really a classy place.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
You're not kissing. He's only there a week, you know,
and ten bucks. But like that, I didn't gamble much,
you know, But I but I enjoyed it.
Speaker 5 (13:07):
Well, I can't understand the jech.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
I spent three days with the Flaming Go and it
costs me over one hundred dollars.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
Well, you don't play a violin. It's amazing. It's amazing.
Which is then pick up around the pool when people
are having drinks.
Speaker 5 (13:23):
You know?
Speaker 2 (13:23):
But Ben, getting back to your trouble with girls. Maybe
you've got the wrong approach, Maybe your technique isn't right.
I'll tell you what I'm going to do for you.
I've got a date tonight with a girlfriend. I'm going
to take her to zero. I'll call her up right
now and tell her to bring a girlfriend for you,
and then just watch the way I operate.
Speaker 5 (13:38):
Well, Jack, I don't know other girls pretty Van, leave
it to me.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
I know how to pick them, and you will have
a great time. I'll tell the girls to meet us
in front of CEO's at eight o'clock.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
Say, duous, why don't just magel? Are you sure he
bringing Van Johnson for me?
Speaker 2 (14:02):
Yeah? And you can have him.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
As far as I'm concerned, I just as soon go
out with men like Jack Benny. Why, Well, when a
man like Benny tries to kiss you, and you tell
him to stop, and he stops. You don't feel too
disappoint It ain't it's it's true. Imagine, I'm keeping us
waiting here in front of Cyrose. I wish they'd get
(14:26):
here already. I can't wait to see Dan Jenson Johnson
Schmansh And I'm hungry. Oh now, Joy, could you shouldn't
talk that way? You're a table maybel here they come now,
right out of that parking lot.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Man, you should look paid for the party.
Speaker 3 (14:42):
Well, I thought someone should. We've been sitting in a
lot since four o'clock. Oh yeah, Jack, Do you think
these girls will keep the date with us?
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Certainly? I told leimite us right out in front of Hey.
Here they are. Now we're right there. See the it
was too come back here, Van, Then what's the matter
(15:15):
with you?
Speaker 5 (15:15):
I wouldn't go into cereals with them?
Speaker 2 (15:17):
Why not?
Speaker 5 (15:18):
One of them is old enough to be my mother?
Speaker 2 (15:21):
Which one the one that looks like my father? Oh? Van,
look look at man, that's my girl. You've got the
cute short ones.
Speaker 5 (15:31):
Oh you mean the show one with the red press.
He hasn't got a bad shade.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
That's the fire plug. The girls are over there, sitting
on the curve. Now, now come on, okay, okay, hello
girl roots Mabel? How everybody calls me that? Manually? I
(15:58):
like to how you girls meet Ben Johns?
Speaker 5 (16:00):
Hello? Girls?
Speaker 1 (16:01):
Ye, yes, GUIDs with he's mine. You've got diamond Jim?
Speaker 2 (16:07):
All right, all right, now come on we'll go inside.
Now bam as doo as we get it.
Speaker 5 (16:13):
Let's call this thing off. I don't want to go
into Cerro's with those two days.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
But man, these girls are all right. In case anybody
picks a fight with us, the tall one can whip
her waiting wild Come on, van vam, why are you
taking my arm?
Speaker 5 (16:31):
I want to walk in with you.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
Well here we are. Oh girls, you want to check
your coat?
Speaker 1 (16:39):
Yeah, we'll shove him under the chair.
Speaker 2 (16:43):
God good, then we won't have to wait in line
when we leave. Good evening, Good evening. A captain, we'd
like a table for four. Have you a reservation?
Speaker 1 (16:51):
Reservation? What do you think we are Indians?
Speaker 2 (17:01):
Oh? Man, they're so funny, or they're a regular Abbath
and Castello they look like him too. Oh I don't know,
say bud, I'm talking to the captain. Captain, we don't
have a reservation, but give us any table for four?
(17:23):
Will yes, sir? Follow me here you are? Oh, thank you? Captain?
May we have menus? Please? Yes, sir, thank you? Now
let me see I good.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
You get a load of these prices?
Speaker 4 (17:36):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (17:37):
And they fancy?
Speaker 2 (17:39):
What the gurdur? That's a cold soup? Oh? Good? Then
I don't have to blow on it, JERKU please a van?
Would you like a drink?
Speaker 5 (17:54):
The quicker the better.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
What?
Speaker 5 (17:56):
But don't let me drink too much. I don't want
to see four of them?
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Okay, captain, bring us for martinis and then we'll order
the food. Yes, sir, say they have a nice orchestra here.
Speaker 5 (18:12):
Oh, gert Rude, would.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
You like to dance?
Speaker 14 (18:14):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (18:14):
Why do I put my shoes back on?
Speaker 2 (18:17):
All right? Say Van?
Speaker 1 (18:19):
How about you and me?
Speaker 5 (18:21):
No thanks, I'm not a very good dancer.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
I don't really, I'll leave you.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
Come on, don't be a smow well all right, say
gert Rude. You're really a swell dancer. I love to
dance with you. Gert Rut, I'm talking to you.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
I'm sorry. I was just day dreaming.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
I'll give you a penny for your thoughts.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
No thanks, lonely roll back to you.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
No, no, that only works with Nichols.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
I get terrific, Zan, And you said you couldn't, Van,
see this is a beauty singing.
Speaker 5 (19:04):
No, no, maybe I can't sing.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
You good to have some pist It came I center,
all right, you say.
Speaker 5 (19:15):
The song begins, you speak, and I hear violins. Its
magic the stars desert the skies and rush to nestle
in your eyes. Its magic without her gold and one
(19:36):
or mystic charm.
Speaker 4 (19:41):
Fantastic things begin when.
Speaker 5 (19:45):
I am in your own.
Speaker 13 (19:52):
When we were, When I think you out there, well you're.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
Doing it's critic.
Speaker 4 (20:09):
Why do I tell myself these things that happens are
all really true?
Speaker 13 (20:21):
When in my heart on world from man do my love?
Speaker 2 (20:42):
I I enjoyed that dat girt roll. Let's it out.
Our bricks are out of the table. Shall we shall
we are a poodo?
Speaker 11 (20:53):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (20:53):
I want to see what I think he's like.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
He looks like, Van, what are you gonna have? I
don't know.
Speaker 5 (20:58):
I'll think of something, says blue light.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
Have you guys figurettes?
Speaker 2 (21:02):
Yeah it's that old Dina. I'm out of them. You
gotta eat vance.
Speaker 5 (21:05):
No, but I'll call a cigarette girl over. Oh, miss Smith, Hey, Van.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
They know what you all? Four cigarette girls are coming over.
Hello girls, he say, girls, do you know who this
felly is? They know?
Speaker 5 (21:23):
Oh, girls, I'd.
Speaker 3 (21:24):
Like to get some cigarettes for our lady friends and
Sarah and Alana Turners.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
Van What made you say that?
Speaker 5 (21:34):
Two martinis?
Speaker 2 (21:36):
Yeah, they were strong, weren't they?
Speaker 1 (21:38):
What are you guys mumbling about nothing?
Speaker 2 (21:40):
Nothing? Girls? Give us some cigarettes pleas, yes, yes, cigarettes.
Speaker 10 (21:47):
Guess something? We yes to make your fear your level
best nice, Just lie unlucky, try for that's the one
that you are like that.
Speaker 15 (22:02):
When you are being allart feeling ah loy, try.
Speaker 10 (22:12):
To no for ladies and parton. That's common sense, you said,
then say theres that we prefer to l S NFTs most.
How else can we explain?
Speaker 1 (22:30):
You said?
Speaker 10 (22:31):
Time and time again?
Speaker 15 (22:32):
Is last?
Speaker 10 (22:35):
Why do we all we say that they are better
than all of the rest, but in our heart we
know they'll make you feel your legs?
Speaker 2 (23:02):
Now I care? Let's order some food. Man, What are
you gonna have?
Speaker 5 (23:05):
Nothing?
Speaker 1 (23:06):
Jack?
Speaker 5 (23:06):
I don't feel like eating good good?
Speaker 2 (23:13):
What are you gonna have? Gertrude?
Speaker 1 (23:14):
I want some dishy slazi you're the salami sandwich?
Speaker 2 (23:20):
Okay? What about you? Mabel?
Speaker 12 (23:22):
Well as long as I'm inside, though, I'd like to
say that's anything. Now, I think I'll have this tabanny
what it's rightly und the man?
Speaker 2 (23:30):
You see taban that's t bone? Oh captain, are you
ready to order?
Speaker 15 (23:37):
No?
Speaker 2 (23:37):
Yes, I'll have a caesar salad. We want some dishy flaw,
a salami sandwich and a tea bone steak. We have
no t bones. Yes, you have it right here on
the menu. See that's tebanybany. Yes, that's a rabbit baked
with an oyster in the smuth. Oh oh, well, I
(24:03):
guess you were right. Mabel?
Speaker 9 (24:04):
Would you like that?
Speaker 1 (24:05):
Do you have anything as long as it's dead, say Van.
Speaker 6 (24:14):
Van?
Speaker 2 (24:15):
Would you like another drink?
Speaker 5 (24:16):
Yeah, but I'd like something stronger this time.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
How about a zombie?
Speaker 11 (24:20):
No?
Speaker 5 (24:21):
Thanks the two we brought with us?
Speaker 11 (24:22):
Or enough?
Speaker 2 (24:25):
Well, don't have another Marquini. Okay, waiter, you've got our
orders and if you want to tip, you better take
away girthu behavior soun, say Van, yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
You sear out a cat. You tell me you couldn't dance,
and you dance like as Mary.
Speaker 5 (24:39):
Look, Mabel, you tell me you couldn't sing.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
You sing like Frank SINATCHI Mabel please, you and me
gotta see more of these sady you just like tis.
What would you have to do is say the ride
and believe me?
Speaker 2 (24:50):
I beg your pardon, mister Johnson. If there's a telephone
call for you, would you like to go out in
Antrath wh get your phone call? Man? It might be important.
Speaker 5 (25:06):
Yes, excuse me, please.
Speaker 2 (25:09):
Say he's uh, he's a nice fellow Asny Gertrude.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
Yes, say blue eyes. We're having so much fun. How
about ordering some champagne?
Speaker 2 (25:17):
Champagne?
Speaker 1 (25:19):
Well here come, I'm steedie. We only live once y
way waiting that like.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
Champagne, girtrud, not so loud, it's embarrassing.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
Well, jees him, this twenty you with a blue booker.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
Who's what.
Speaker 4 (25:35):
My virtue?
Speaker 2 (25:36):
Please be quiet?
Speaker 1 (25:37):
Job, Yeah, don't be such a big shop. We're not
red cracking.
Speaker 14 (25:41):
Now, girls, I'm just asking, pardon me, mister Benny. Yes, captain,
there's a phone call for you.
Speaker 2 (25:53):
Oh oh excuse me, girls, I'll be right back. Hey
Jack Jack way a minute? Van is the pool call
for me? No?
Speaker 3 (26:04):
No, there reason I sent the captain and to get
you what now here's a chance to beat it?
Speaker 2 (26:09):
Hey, you're right Van. You're right, let's get out of here.
Speaker 5 (26:13):
But how do you know those names won't follow us.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
Look, I've got their shoes. Come on, let's go, man,
ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker 8 (26:28):
The nineteen forty nine Easter Seal campaign is on Crippled
children can become useful citizens if we give them the
help they need while they are young and growing, such
as clinical care, schooling, capping, vocational guidance, and finally a job.
We can help them best by buying our share of
Easter Seals today. Thank you, Jack will be back and
got the moment the first mo.
Speaker 4 (26:49):
Lucky Mo, Lucky.
Speaker 5 (26:57):
And yes, lucky it's fine.
Speaker 6 (26:58):
Tobacco picks you up when you're calms you down when
you're ten. That's what fine tobacco can do for you.
And that's why it's so important that you select and
smoke the cigarette of fine tobacco. Lucky Strike or as
you know, ls MFT ls m f T Lucky Strike
means fine tobacco.
Speaker 5 (27:16):
No wonder. Luckies are the overwhelming choice.
Speaker 6 (27:18):
Of the tobacco experts. Men who can see the makers
of Lucky Strike consistently select and buy that fine, that
light that naturally mild tobacco. Yes, lucky strike means fine tobacco.
And this fine lucky strike tobacco puts you on the
right level, the lucky level where you feel your best
and do your best. Remember that when you choose your cigarette,
(27:39):
then ask for a carton of Lucky Strike.
Speaker 4 (27:43):
Stealing loing tent Mome lucky.
Speaker 5 (27:53):
Mo lucky.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
So, Mabel, what is a dices? Do you think they're
coming back? I don't know what time is it. It's
three thirty in the morning. Oh that is so late,
I know, but this is Tuesday. Well, if they both
come back by Friday, he'll go.
Speaker 2 (28:26):
I astapair through the country. Are not the Golden Mare?
Speaker 8 (28:28):
Producers of Little Women firing June Alison, Peter Lawford, mar.
Speaker 5 (28:31):
Gonna Brand to live in a pair? This is cy,
asked the Columbia broadcast in Pistons
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