August 6, 2025 • 29 mins
Enjoy "The Jack Benny Collection," a showcase of the best episodes from the legendary comedian's radio show. Experience the timeless humor, memorable characters, and witty scripts that made Jack Benny a household name. Perfect for fans of classic comedy and radio history, this collection offers a window into the golden age of entertainment.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
The Jack Penny Program presented by Lucky Strike.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
In a cigarette, it's the tobacco that counts, and today,
tomorrow always ls MFT, no doubt about it. Lucky Strike
means fine tobacco, and pine tobacco is what counts in
a cigarette. So remember ls MFT. Lucky Strike means fine tobacco. Yes,
fine tobacco, season after season, market after market, independent tobacco experts, auctioneers,
(00:31):
fires and warehousemen can see the makers of Lucky Strike
consistently select and buy that fine, that light, that naturally
mile tobacco, fine light, naturally mild tobacco, real Lucky Strike
tobacco that means a fine smoke.
Speaker 3 (00:45):
For you, Yes, for your own, real, deep down smoky
enjoyment smoke, that smoke of fine tobacco. Lucky Strike, so round,
so firm, so fully packed, so free and easy on
the draw.
Speaker 4 (01:02):
I American.
Speaker 5 (01:11):
The Lucky Strit Program starring Jack Benny with Barry Levingston,
Phil Harris, Rochester, Dennis.
Speaker 6 (01:16):
And your truly Don Wilson.
Speaker 5 (01:27):
Ladies and gentlemen, I'll bet you often wondered what happens
immediately after a program goes off the air. Well, let's
go back to last Sunday Jack Benny has just finished
his broadcast.
Speaker 6 (01:39):
Okay, fail off, kay, cut it.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
Cutter fail, We're off the air. Well, Paul, how did
you like the program? I'm glad you did. Ladies and gentlemen.
You were a wonderful audience, just wonderful, and I'm looking
forward to seeing you all here in the studio again.
Speaker 4 (02:00):
Never see me again, Bud.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
Why I wouldn't sit through another one of your shows
if I was in the front row, You guess staught
with Sally Rander balloon had a slow leak and my
wife wasn't with me. Well, look here, look here, mister,
(02:30):
you're too fresh. You'll never get tickets to my show again.
Speaker 4 (02:33):
What tickets?
Speaker 1 (02:34):
Last night, I'm walking down the street, a guy throws.
Speaker 3 (02:36):
A sack over my head, kiss me a pump on
the knogging And when I.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Come to, I'm sitting here in the studio. See. I
know my producer wants all the seats filled, but I
wish he's not using that black jack.
Speaker 7 (02:50):
You know, Jack, you mean to say the only way
you can get an audience is have your producer go around.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
Hitting people on the head.
Speaker 4 (02:56):
Well, gosh, and.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
I always stop before we.
Speaker 8 (02:59):
Go on the air that bong bong bong with chimes.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
No no, no, Mary, that's three more coming in. Last week,
one guy's head was out a tune and loust up
the whole network. But we just we just give them
a light tap on the head. It only raises a
little bump, little bump. Yeah, my bump's got snow on it.
(03:29):
I mean, well, don't blame the weather on me anyway, mister.
The show is over, so you can go.
Speaker 9 (03:34):
Okay, okay, since the last time I passed NBC without
a helmet?
Speaker 1 (03:39):
All right, all right, hey Jackson, I'm gonna run along now.
Oh just a minute, Phil, I want to talk to you.
Speaker 10 (03:45):
What is it first time?
Speaker 1 (03:46):
Well, Phil, I can see now why that guy and
the rest of the audience have no respect for our show.
Speaker 10 (03:51):
Why what did I do?
Speaker 1 (03:53):
Phil? Do you have to have that bottle of bourbon
sitting on the table right next to you while you're
leading the band?
Speaker 11 (04:00):
Certainly when I use my hand to give the boys
a downbeat, I ain't gonna bring it up empty.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
What can I go now, Jackson? The ice in my
pocket is melting. Phil, Phil, I can't understand you standing
out here on the stage in front of an intelligent audience,
three hundred and fifty people with bumps on their heads,
and you act that way. I can't understand you at all.
Nobody can understand me, Jackson.
Speaker 10 (04:29):
I'm a character. People love me for.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
What I am, for what you are, Phil, That and
where elephants go to die are the two unsolved mysteries
of the universe, believe me. But look, Phil, Phil, I'm
not asking for good music. All I'm asking is that
you and your orders to look dignified. This is a
big radio show. Tell your boys to take down that
(04:53):
clothesline they got stung across the stage there.
Speaker 6 (04:55):
That's no clothesline.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
That's a direct wire to Santa Nita, Anita.
Speaker 10 (05:02):
Now cut that out.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
What a bunch of guys.
Speaker 10 (05:10):
Phil.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
Look at that new violin that you got sitting there
during the whole program wearing a Derby.
Speaker 4 (05:13):
Derby that's a pump on his head.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
I have trouble different people too, that I'm sure of it.
Speaker 7 (05:20):
Oh, for Heaven's sake, Jack, why don't you stop ticking
on sale? As long as I've been with you, you've
had trouble with your orchestra leaders.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
Me.
Speaker 7 (05:27):
Yeah, I'll never forget how magic got of Johnny Green
when he wanted to put poor Clarinet.
Speaker 4 (05:31):
In the orchestra.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Well, that's where you're wrong, sister. Even though I was
paying for it, I had no objection to Donnie Green
adding poor.
Speaker 7 (05:37):
Clarinet, I know, but you made him hire one man
with a wide mouth.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
Well I thought it would be novel.
Speaker 7 (05:45):
And oh boy, what George Olton went through with you.
He even took a swing at you.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
So what I was plenty fast, wasn't I?
Speaker 7 (05:51):
I'll say you were fast by the time Olton took
off his coat and rolled off his sleeve, you ran
out of the building, took a NYE test, and came
back wearing a pair of glasses.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
Oh Mary, why do you say things like that? You
know very well that I try to help everybody on
my program.
Speaker 6 (06:06):
Some help even cut my.
Speaker 4 (06:07):
Song out today.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
Leave me, Mary. People ought to know what I go
through just to put on a show.
Speaker 8 (06:12):
He'd like to cut my song out every week.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
You know, Mary, there's a lot more to radio program,
I mean than just talking into a microphone.
Speaker 4 (06:19):
My mother was here.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
She'd punched him right in the nose.
Speaker 6 (06:23):
What glasses are no glasses?
Speaker 1 (06:26):
Dennis? What are you mumbling about?
Speaker 12 (06:27):
What oh, hold mister Benny hello, Hello, gee, what a coincidence.
Speaker 6 (06:31):
I was just talking about you.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
I know I heard you. What wrong you cut my
song out today? Oh oh well, I'm sorry kid. I
had to do it because of time. But you can
do the song next week. How do you know you
like it? You didn't even hear it? Well, all right,
let's hear it now, okay, Oh come on, well thanks
your problem? Oh oh hello, mister Kitson, Hell oh, hold
of them and a Dennis? I thought you were never
(06:55):
going to get here, and.
Speaker 11 (07:08):
I was gonna do half a last week's show over again,
the part that was good.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
But hold of them and Aadana? Looking if you came
to see my show, mister Kitsel, you were a little late,
you know, we just we just went off the air.
Speaker 13 (07:21):
Oh, that's your right. I was sitting in my car.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
Well did you like the program?
Speaker 13 (07:26):
D I like your program?
Speaker 1 (07:30):
I missed him?
Speaker 4 (07:31):
We missed it?
Speaker 1 (07:32):
Oh?
Speaker 10 (07:32):
Oh what I was?
Speaker 13 (07:35):
Didn't care to see your show last week?
Speaker 10 (07:37):
Good?
Speaker 1 (07:37):
Where'd you get the tickets?
Speaker 10 (07:38):
Oh?
Speaker 14 (07:38):
Y t kiss?
Speaker 13 (07:40):
I was nonchalantly walking down the streets when all of
us shuttin. Somebody threw our heak over me.
Speaker 6 (07:45):
I got a bump on.
Speaker 13 (07:46):
My head and the next thing on you somebody as
whispring in my ear. Welcome to the nbaste.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
Well, I'm sorry you missed the program today, but maybe
you can come back next week.
Speaker 13 (07:58):
Now, pray By, we missed it. If it wouldn't get
too much trouble, will you please give me another grant
for my nephew.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
Your nephew.
Speaker 13 (08:05):
Yes, she's been in the army four years and he's
visiting me from O.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
Wahoo, Oh from uh Honolulu, No.
Speaker 6 (08:12):
Cleveland, that's Ohio, Ohio.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
Anyway, here you are, miss the Kittle. Here's here's my autograph.
You're welcome, goodbye, mister kitslay by to get here earlier.
Speaker 8 (08:31):
Next time.
Speaker 10 (09:00):
We were world.
Speaker 14 (09:04):
We all.
Speaker 15 (09:06):
Long wasn't was in blue?
Speaker 14 (09:21):
There was.
Speaker 6 (09:24):
In the poll.
Speaker 4 (09:34):
In Yora.
Speaker 14 (09:43):
In john first City, Mr ar gently eating form, Oh.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
Would we.
Speaker 10 (10:21):
But relieve?
Speaker 1 (10:24):
That's sweet more and.
Speaker 15 (10:30):
We all as.
Speaker 14 (10:35):
Not all.
Speaker 4 (10:51):
First singing.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
Him were.
Speaker 14 (10:58):
Agently.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
That was a swell song, a swell song. Danna's very
very good. Come on, Mary, I'll take you home, Okay,
you trot me off on the way. Mister Benny, sure kid, sure,
come on, let's go. You know Dennis that certainly was
a swell number the anniversary songs? Would you like to
sing it at my birthday party next week? Here, mister Benny,
how old are you going to be? Sixty thirty eight? Mary,
he asked me.
Speaker 12 (11:59):
I'm thirty eight, Dinners, Gosh, I'm twenty six, and I'm worried.
Why what can happen to me in just twelve years? Well,
don't worry about it. Kids everything, or take kids before
(12:19):
we start from home. Let's go in the drug store
here and get a soda.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
Okay, here are three schools here.
Speaker 10 (12:26):
That's it here right?
Speaker 1 (12:29):
Oh, there's that same soda clerk. I can't stand him.
Speaker 10 (12:33):
Well, my heart didn't go pit a patter when you
came in blue.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
Why he hates people? Just take just take our orders.
What have you got?
Speaker 5 (12:46):
We have SODA's buffets, Flip Flip, Sunday's Bolt, shuberts oate
and Doctor Shol's footpaths.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
What are the Doctor Shoul's footpads for?
Speaker 10 (12:58):
Or our ice cream corns?
Speaker 4 (12:59):
I'm me.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
Oh, brother, I'd like to point him out to my producer.
Speaker 8 (13:10):
Wait, they give me a chopp of soda?
Speaker 1 (13:12):
Yes? And what about you, Dennis? Give me a banana split?
I hate him, but I've got to have something expensive
now that I've got my own show. Oh fine, and
what are you going to have?
Speaker 10 (13:23):
Headless belly?
Speaker 1 (13:25):
Look, clerk, why is it I?
Speaker 4 (13:27):
Jack?
Speaker 6 (13:27):
Let it go.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
Just give me your order. Okay, give me avnol ice
cream soda?
Speaker 7 (13:31):
Say Jack, have you ever seen one of those soda
curks until the icing up in the air and packing
the glass?
Speaker 10 (13:36):
I can do that.
Speaker 13 (13:37):
You cant what.
Speaker 4 (13:41):
Smith?
Speaker 1 (13:42):
Sorry?
Speaker 6 (13:51):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (13:53):
Where did it go?
Speaker 8 (13:54):
Don't look now, but you've got a two palla mode?
Speaker 10 (14:02):
What you mean?
Speaker 1 (14:03):
That scoop of white scream is on my head? Waiter,
do something about it? All right?
Speaker 6 (14:07):
All right?
Speaker 1 (14:09):
What's taking you so long?
Speaker 10 (14:10):
I'm putting a cherry on top.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
A cherry?
Speaker 6 (14:18):
Would you mind sitting in our window a couple of days?
Speaker 1 (14:24):
No, I'm not making any personal appearances this year. Okay,
here are your dreadful I don't know why it is
I always have to run into him. How you're soda married? Well? Yeah,
it don't eat your banana split so fast.
Speaker 4 (14:36):
I want to finish it before I get sick.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
That's the silliest thing I ever heard. No, marry, this
vanilla soda is very good.
Speaker 4 (14:48):
I'm often in me too.
Speaker 7 (14:52):
Year two with your soda, aren't you Jack?
Speaker 1 (14:53):
Just a minute, there's a little left at the bottom.
I've only got one show, Oh Jack, Come on just
a minute.
Speaker 10 (15:09):
Did you strike oil?
Speaker 8 (15:10):
The glass belongs to me, Never mind how much of.
Speaker 10 (15:20):
The tech sixty five said.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
No, no, no, no, Dennis, I'll pay for no, no,
mister Benny, I'll pay for it. No, no, no, Dennis,
Let me pay for it. Careful, Jack, you may take
you up. Huh.
Speaker 9 (15:32):
Remember me, I'm your guardian angel, and I was here
to stop you from paying this check.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
Oh yes, you kept me from drinking that iodine last week.
Speaker 9 (15:42):
Yes, and now I'm saving you from a fate worse
than death. What I've gotten you out of situations like
this many times before you have? Oh yes, remember that
night in Cerros when you were having dinner with all
those movies are huh? Well it was I who took
(16:03):
the check away from you and gave it to Margaret O'Brien.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
Gee, and I thought the wind did that.
Speaker 14 (16:15):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (16:16):
But why are you always trying to save my money
for me? Angels?
Speaker 9 (16:19):
Well, you see, we angels need money too, you do, yes,
And we figured if anybody would find a way to
take it with him, it would be you.
Speaker 14 (16:37):
Oh.
Speaker 9 (16:38):
Oh, by the way, Jack, I wish you'd stop telling
everybody you're only thirty eight.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
Years old, but why age a lot?
Speaker 10 (16:46):
Well, every time you tell the.
Speaker 9 (16:47):
Little pivot punders up where we are. Oh and around
your birthday, we can't hear ourselves.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
Think you.
Speaker 6 (16:57):
Really?
Speaker 1 (16:58):
Yes?
Speaker 9 (16:59):
Even though your breath day is on St. Valentine's Day,
it sounds like the fourth of July. Well out, I'll
try and watch it, you know.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
Sometimes like Jack, who are you talking to? Huh? I
just got mumbling to yourself. Rry. I wasn't mumbling to myself.
I was talking to my Oh you wouldn't believe that anyway.
Come on, kid, let's go.
Speaker 10 (17:24):
There's my car over there.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
Well Jack, Jack, huh oh, what is it done?
Speaker 4 (17:28):
Jack?
Speaker 10 (17:28):
You left the studio so fast.
Speaker 6 (17:29):
I didn't get a chance to talk to you about
next week's commercial.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
Well down, we can talk about that later.
Speaker 5 (17:33):
But Jack, I've got your quartet here the Sportsman, and
I want you to hear a new arrangement.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
Down not out here on the street corner. People don't
think we're crazy. Go wait, fellas, go away, look not
out here, look down. This is no place to rehearse
a commercial. Not out on the street, but Jack, you
can let me hear a Saturday when we come back
to the studio.
Speaker 10 (17:51):
Jack can only take a minute out on the street.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
I mean a crowd is gathering.
Speaker 5 (17:54):
All right, take it boys, pekoe call peako teacollo.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
Take a lot.
Speaker 10 (18:00):
Look O L S M s T ta get for me.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
People are gathering its supreme easy easy on the tree.
Speaker 10 (18:09):
L s N S c O L N O people
room can make you some with L.
Speaker 6 (18:17):
O L S M T.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
You are my alma mon right you people are gathering
from the package and you can keep a package in
your baggage.
Speaker 10 (18:27):
I love you and there's no other I know about you.
Speaker 11 (18:30):
Oh well, god, God, that was the most embarrassing thing
you've ever done to me right here on the street.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
You're making a monkey out of me. Now go away,
tell us go away. You know people are hollering people
they're not going to sing anymore. Oh yes they are.
People are throwing money, boy, just embarrassing.
Speaker 10 (19:04):
People are throwing money.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
Wait a minute, Wait a minute, don don fully passed?
Speaker 10 (19:20):
Boy, what's the matter with you?
Speaker 1 (19:23):
Have you gone crazy? Jack?
Speaker 8 (19:25):
Don't get all excited merry.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
Imagine people on the street throwing money. It was embarrassing.
Speaker 8 (19:30):
You were telling embarrassed. Why could keep picking it up?
Speaker 1 (19:34):
Because I'm just naturally neat. Now come on, let's get
in the car and go hello, Rochester.
Speaker 10 (19:52):
Well boys, what took it so long?
Speaker 6 (19:54):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (19:54):
I stopped the drug store and I had some ice cream.
Speaker 10 (19:57):
You must have had a lot. It's coming out on top.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
Oh don I thought he wiped that off, Rochester. Did
you hear my program today?
Speaker 6 (20:07):
Oh?
Speaker 10 (20:08):
Yes, I listened to it with some friends of mine.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
Now what do they think of that?
Speaker 4 (20:11):
Well, we thought it had.
Speaker 10 (20:13):
Some nice moments. Uh huh, Well it definitely wasn't the
best years of our life.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
No, well, I don't care what you and your friends think.
That program will cause lots of comments.
Speaker 10 (20:25):
You should have heard some of them.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
Never mind.
Speaker 10 (20:29):
By the way, Borsa, a couple of telegrams.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
Came for thanks. Read them to me, Rochester.
Speaker 10 (20:34):
This was from Fred Allen.
Speaker 1 (20:35):
Fred Allen, what does it say? It says?
Speaker 10 (20:38):
Could congratulations on your birthday next Friday? Heard your programs
and I didn't thought it was very bad. I hope
you have many more.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
Nice birthday wire to send me. Give me that other one.
Here you are, Rochester, Rochester, listened to this. Congratulations Jack
Benny on your forthcoming birthday on my special news broadcast
at six fifty five tonight, I'm gonna pay you a
great tribute. Be sure and listen. Signed HV Caltainbourne, Rochester.
(21:13):
We gotta listen to that. Yes, I'm gonna call my
whole gang and tell him about it. That's right, Mary,
h V Captain Borne at six fifty five. He's gonna
pay me a tribute. I'm not kidding Phil. At six
fifty five, Listen to h.
Speaker 4 (21:33):
V Captain Born.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
I don't forget, Dennis. Be sure to listen to h
V Captain Born at six fifty five. I can what
Oh your mother said that? Well anyway, don't forget to listen.
Speaker 10 (21:50):
Yes, don I know it's true.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
He sent me a wire. Captain Born is gonna give
me a big tribune six fifty five, goodbye.
Speaker 10 (21:59):
I know it's how, it's impossible, but it's true.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
Be sure to listen at six fifty five, Rochester, who
you're talking to?
Speaker 4 (22:04):
I don't know.
Speaker 10 (22:05):
I'm just following numbers at random. Good good.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
I couldn't put what time it is, hey, Calvin Born,
but be on now, turn.
Speaker 6 (22:13):
On the radio.
Speaker 16 (22:17):
However, art concessions were exchanged by the United States and
Risha in the privacy of the United Nations conference room.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
That's him, that's Caltimborne.
Speaker 8 (22:25):
It was announced in London the King and Queen of England.
Speaker 16 (22:27):
We're having a very pleasant portion voyage on the way
of South Africa. Like cal mart they're temporarily but once
again they're sailing on.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
They can read that stuff on the papers.
Speaker 8 (22:42):
Get to me in February Hills, California.
Speaker 10 (22:45):
That's it, that's it.
Speaker 4 (22:46):
The mayor announced that the story system would have to
be over wild.
Speaker 16 (22:55):
It seems that the privates are inadequate to carry off
the rains falling from nearby states. As you know, California
has an Orphans against Drain. Ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker 4 (23:06):
Sponsored the special program. The publishers of.
Speaker 16 (23:08):
The Encyclopedia Britannica would like to bring you a testimonial.
Speaker 4 (23:11):
From a satisfied user. There he is, mister Claris Pippa.
Speaker 11 (23:16):
I've been reading Psyclodia Britannica continuously now for two years.
Speaker 10 (23:24):
I know all about the Blas and the bees and
all that kind of stuff.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
It even tells him there that Richard wasn't the vice
one who wouldn't.
Speaker 4 (23:33):
Open the door.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
See they got everything in there.
Speaker 16 (23:39):
Tell me, mister Piper, when did you buy your set
up Encyclopedia Britennica.
Speaker 10 (23:44):
I didn't buy it.
Speaker 4 (23:45):
I was on information please, and they hit.
Speaker 10 (23:48):
Me over the head with it.
Speaker 1 (23:50):
Oh, get that over with.
Speaker 4 (23:52):
Back to the news.
Speaker 16 (23:53):
All over America, we're celebrating National Boy Scout Week since
nineteen more than thirteen and the Hot Madion American fire and.
Speaker 4 (24:00):
Men have been memberies.
Speaker 8 (24:01):
Maybe I'm next, Oh, ladies and gentlemen, I have a
very special.
Speaker 4 (24:05):
Announcement to make.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
Here comes Rochester. That means me what.
Speaker 16 (24:08):
Radio comedian will celebrate this birthday and Friday, February the fourteenth.
Speaker 10 (24:12):
It's me.
Speaker 4 (24:12):
It's see this comedian whom we all love.
Speaker 8 (24:15):
Myer is a very famous butler by the name of Rochester.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
Hey, you're lucky you mentioned you too.
Speaker 16 (24:21):
Rochester was born in Oakland, California. Yes, and he attended
the Oakland High School. After graduation, Rochester went to.
Speaker 10 (24:30):
Work and his father star what is this why boss?
I want to hear?
Speaker 16 (24:35):
But having no love for business, Rochester decided to leave
home go to work for the Santa Fe Railroad.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
Rochester, It's all about you work.
Speaker 16 (24:44):
Yes, after working for the railroad for five here Rochester mean.
Speaker 8 (24:47):
A great comedian with traveling from Los Angeles to New York.
Speaker 1 (24:50):
That's me. That was me telling Rochester.
Speaker 10 (24:51):
Tell him, you tell him you're supposed to have a.
Speaker 16 (24:53):
I And the name of this great radio star who
discovered Rochester and this celebrated his birthday Friday, February the fourteenth,
is none.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
Other than We're sorry to interrupt, mister Calvinborn, but here's
another news item.
Speaker 4 (25:07):
What it is raining in Beverly Hill. Go back to
mister Calvin Born, and that concludes my special past birthday.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
Like purn that off, I'm mad imagine sending me a
wire about a big tribute. He didn't even mention my name.
You know what's my birthday? Next Friday? Rochester?
Speaker 10 (25:40):
Not yours?
Speaker 6 (25:40):
I know?
Speaker 10 (25:41):
Boss. By the way, how old are you going to see?
Speaker 4 (25:43):
Thirty eight?
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Jeez? See that angel wasn't kidd here.
Speaker 10 (25:54):
What did you say, Boss?
Speaker 1 (25:56):
Nothing?
Speaker 6 (25:56):
Nothing?
Speaker 1 (25:57):
I'm going to bed. Good night, and gentlemen. The angel
on tonight's program was played by that great star, mister
Victor Moore, and HB. Captenborn was impersonated by Ali o'tooles.
(26:26):
Ladies and gentlemen. During the last war, the chief hope
of our enemies was to divide the United States along
racial and religious lines and thereby conqueror. Let's not spread prejudice.
A divided America is a weak America, and we need
the same harmony among our various racial and religious groups
that was the source of our strength and war. Through
(26:49):
our behavior, we encourage the respect of our children and
make them better neighbors to all races and religions. Remind
them that being good neighbors would help make our country
great and kept her free. Thank you.
Speaker 4 (27:11):
Well.
Speaker 6 (27:12):
Jack will be back in Josha, Mana. But first, here
is my good friend Bassil Risdale.
Speaker 1 (27:17):
As you listened to the channel at tobacco Walks in
near remember ls Mst.
Speaker 4 (27:21):
The professor.
Speaker 1 (27:26):
American lucky strike means fine tobacco, and fine tobacco is
what counts in a cigarette.
Speaker 6 (27:32):
Mister John Lawrence.
Speaker 2 (27:33):
Coming, an independent tobacco auctioneer of Cincianna, Kentucky, was born
and brought up in the tobacco business.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
Here's what he said. I've sold the back at auctions
over nineteen years. In all that time, I've seen the
make as a Lucky Strike by fine good taste in tobacco,
tobacca that's got quality, real quality. I smoked Lucky as
myself for twenty two years. Quote fine, good tasting tobacco,
tobacco that got quality qual it unquote. Yes, independent tobacco
(28:03):
ex first, like mister Cummins, can see the makers of
Lucky Strike consistently select and buy that fine, that light,
that naturally mild tobaccos fine light, naturally mild tobacco, real
Lucky Strike tobacco ls MFT Lucky Strike means fine tobacco.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
Yes for your own real deep down smoking enjoyment. Remember
ls MFP Lucky Strike means fine tobacco. So smoke that
smoke of fine tobacco Lucky Strike, so round, so.
Speaker 6 (28:31):
Firm, so fully packed, so free.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
And easy on the draw. Ladies and gentlemen, I hope
you all tune in next week because I'm going to
have a birthday party and invite one of the world's
(28:55):
greatest violinists. Is for Isaac Stern, and I'll also and
bite mister and missus Ronald Colman.
Speaker 10 (29:04):
I hope you, gentlemen.
Speaker 4 (29:05):
The rain in Beverly Hills has now turned to.
Speaker 6 (29:07):
Orange juice.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
See I I wish my swimming pool was empty. Good Nightfall.
Speaker 10 (29:21):
This is MVP.
Speaker 6 (29:22):
The I st
The Jack Penny Program presented by Lucky Strike.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
In a cigarette, it's the tobacco that counts, and today,
tomorrow always ls MFT, no doubt about it. Lucky Strike
means fine tobacco, and pine tobacco is what counts in
a cigarette. So remember ls MFT. Lucky Strike means fine tobacco. Yes,
fine tobacco, season after season, market after market, independent tobacco experts, auctioneers,
(00:31):
fires and warehousemen can see the makers of Lucky Strike
consistently select and buy that fine, that light, that naturally
mile tobacco, fine light, naturally mild tobacco, real Lucky Strike
tobacco that means a fine smoke.
Speaker 3 (00:45):
For you, Yes, for your own, real, deep down smoky
enjoyment smoke, that smoke of fine tobacco. Lucky Strike, so round,
so firm, so fully packed, so free and easy on
the draw.
Speaker 4 (01:02):
I American.
Speaker 5 (01:11):
The Lucky Strit Program starring Jack Benny with Barry Levingston,
Phil Harris, Rochester, Dennis.
Speaker 6 (01:16):
And your truly Don Wilson.
Speaker 5 (01:27):
Ladies and gentlemen, I'll bet you often wondered what happens
immediately after a program goes off the air. Well, let's
go back to last Sunday Jack Benny has just finished
his broadcast.
Speaker 6 (01:39):
Okay, fail off, kay, cut it.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
Cutter fail, We're off the air. Well, Paul, how did
you like the program? I'm glad you did. Ladies and gentlemen.
You were a wonderful audience, just wonderful, and I'm looking
forward to seeing you all here in the studio again.
Speaker 4 (02:00):
Never see me again, Bud.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
Why I wouldn't sit through another one of your shows
if I was in the front row, You guess staught
with Sally Rander balloon had a slow leak and my
wife wasn't with me. Well, look here, look here, mister,
(02:30):
you're too fresh. You'll never get tickets to my show again.
Speaker 4 (02:33):
What tickets?
Speaker 1 (02:34):
Last night, I'm walking down the street, a guy throws.
Speaker 3 (02:36):
A sack over my head, kiss me a pump on
the knogging And when I.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Come to, I'm sitting here in the studio. See. I
know my producer wants all the seats filled, but I
wish he's not using that black jack.
Speaker 7 (02:50):
You know, Jack, you mean to say the only way
you can get an audience is have your producer go around.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
Hitting people on the head.
Speaker 4 (02:56):
Well, gosh, and.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
I always stop before we.
Speaker 8 (02:59):
Go on the air that bong bong bong with chimes.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
No no, no, Mary, that's three more coming in. Last week,
one guy's head was out a tune and loust up
the whole network. But we just we just give them
a light tap on the head. It only raises a
little bump, little bump. Yeah, my bump's got snow on it.
(03:29):
I mean, well, don't blame the weather on me anyway, mister.
The show is over, so you can go.
Speaker 9 (03:34):
Okay, okay, since the last time I passed NBC without
a helmet?
Speaker 1 (03:39):
All right, all right, hey Jackson, I'm gonna run along now.
Oh just a minute, Phil, I want to talk to you.
Speaker 10 (03:45):
What is it first time?
Speaker 1 (03:46):
Well, Phil, I can see now why that guy and
the rest of the audience have no respect for our show.
Speaker 10 (03:51):
Why what did I do?
Speaker 1 (03:53):
Phil? Do you have to have that bottle of bourbon
sitting on the table right next to you while you're
leading the band?
Speaker 11 (04:00):
Certainly when I use my hand to give the boys
a downbeat, I ain't gonna bring it up empty.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
What can I go now, Jackson? The ice in my
pocket is melting. Phil, Phil, I can't understand you standing
out here on the stage in front of an intelligent audience,
three hundred and fifty people with bumps on their heads,
and you act that way. I can't understand you at all.
Nobody can understand me, Jackson.
Speaker 10 (04:29):
I'm a character. People love me for.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
What I am, for what you are, Phil, That and
where elephants go to die are the two unsolved mysteries
of the universe, believe me. But look, Phil, Phil, I'm
not asking for good music. All I'm asking is that
you and your orders to look dignified. This is a
big radio show. Tell your boys to take down that
(04:53):
clothesline they got stung across the stage there.
Speaker 6 (04:55):
That's no clothesline.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
That's a direct wire to Santa Nita, Anita.
Speaker 10 (05:02):
Now cut that out.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
What a bunch of guys.
Speaker 10 (05:10):
Phil.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
Look at that new violin that you got sitting there
during the whole program wearing a Derby.
Speaker 4 (05:13):
Derby that's a pump on his head.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
I have trouble different people too, that I'm sure of it.
Speaker 7 (05:20):
Oh, for Heaven's sake, Jack, why don't you stop ticking
on sale? As long as I've been with you, you've
had trouble with your orchestra leaders.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
Me.
Speaker 7 (05:27):
Yeah, I'll never forget how magic got of Johnny Green
when he wanted to put poor Clarinet.
Speaker 4 (05:31):
In the orchestra.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Well, that's where you're wrong, sister. Even though I was
paying for it, I had no objection to Donnie Green
adding poor.
Speaker 7 (05:37):
Clarinet, I know, but you made him hire one man
with a wide mouth.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
Well I thought it would be novel.
Speaker 7 (05:45):
And oh boy, what George Olton went through with you.
He even took a swing at you.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
So what I was plenty fast, wasn't I?
Speaker 7 (05:51):
I'll say you were fast by the time Olton took
off his coat and rolled off his sleeve, you ran
out of the building, took a NYE test, and came
back wearing a pair of glasses.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
Oh Mary, why do you say things like that? You
know very well that I try to help everybody on
my program.
Speaker 6 (06:06):
Some help even cut my.
Speaker 4 (06:07):
Song out today.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
Leave me, Mary. People ought to know what I go
through just to put on a show.
Speaker 8 (06:12):
He'd like to cut my song out every week.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
You know, Mary, there's a lot more to radio program,
I mean than just talking into a microphone.
Speaker 4 (06:19):
My mother was here.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
She'd punched him right in the nose.
Speaker 6 (06:23):
What glasses are no glasses?
Speaker 1 (06:26):
Dennis? What are you mumbling about?
Speaker 12 (06:27):
What oh, hold mister Benny hello, Hello, gee, what a coincidence.
Speaker 6 (06:31):
I was just talking about you.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
I know I heard you. What wrong you cut my
song out today? Oh oh well, I'm sorry kid. I
had to do it because of time. But you can
do the song next week. How do you know you
like it? You didn't even hear it? Well, all right,
let's hear it now, okay, Oh come on, well thanks
your problem? Oh oh hello, mister Kitson, Hell oh, hold
of them and a Dennis? I thought you were never
(06:55):
going to get here, and.
Speaker 11 (07:08):
I was gonna do half a last week's show over again,
the part that was good.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
But hold of them and Aadana? Looking if you came
to see my show, mister Kitsel, you were a little late,
you know, we just we just went off the air.
Speaker 13 (07:21):
Oh, that's your right. I was sitting in my car.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
Well did you like the program?
Speaker 13 (07:26):
D I like your program?
Speaker 1 (07:30):
I missed him?
Speaker 4 (07:31):
We missed it?
Speaker 1 (07:32):
Oh?
Speaker 10 (07:32):
Oh what I was?
Speaker 13 (07:35):
Didn't care to see your show last week?
Speaker 10 (07:37):
Good?
Speaker 1 (07:37):
Where'd you get the tickets?
Speaker 10 (07:38):
Oh?
Speaker 14 (07:38):
Y t kiss?
Speaker 13 (07:40):
I was nonchalantly walking down the streets when all of
us shuttin. Somebody threw our heak over me.
Speaker 6 (07:45):
I got a bump on.
Speaker 13 (07:46):
My head and the next thing on you somebody as
whispring in my ear. Welcome to the nbaste.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
Well, I'm sorry you missed the program today, but maybe
you can come back next week.
Speaker 13 (07:58):
Now, pray By, we missed it. If it wouldn't get
too much trouble, will you please give me another grant
for my nephew.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
Your nephew.
Speaker 13 (08:05):
Yes, she's been in the army four years and he's
visiting me from O.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
Wahoo, Oh from uh Honolulu, No.
Speaker 6 (08:12):
Cleveland, that's Ohio, Ohio.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
Anyway, here you are, miss the Kittle. Here's here's my autograph.
You're welcome, goodbye, mister kitslay by to get here earlier.
Speaker 8 (08:31):
Next time.
Speaker 10 (09:00):
We were world.
Speaker 14 (09:04):
We all.
Speaker 15 (09:06):
Long wasn't was in blue?
Speaker 14 (09:21):
There was.
Speaker 6 (09:24):
In the poll.
Speaker 4 (09:34):
In Yora.
Speaker 14 (09:43):
In john first City, Mr ar gently eating form, Oh.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
Would we.
Speaker 10 (10:21):
But relieve?
Speaker 1 (10:24):
That's sweet more and.
Speaker 15 (10:30):
We all as.
Speaker 14 (10:35):
Not all.
Speaker 4 (10:51):
First singing.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
Him were.
Speaker 14 (10:58):
Agently.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
That was a swell song, a swell song. Danna's very
very good. Come on, Mary, I'll take you home, Okay,
you trot me off on the way. Mister Benny, sure kid, sure,
come on, let's go. You know Dennis that certainly was
a swell number the anniversary songs? Would you like to
sing it at my birthday party next week? Here, mister Benny,
how old are you going to be? Sixty thirty eight? Mary,
he asked me.
Speaker 12 (11:59):
I'm thirty eight, Dinners, Gosh, I'm twenty six, and I'm worried.
Why what can happen to me in just twelve years? Well,
don't worry about it. Kids everything, or take kids before
(12:19):
we start from home. Let's go in the drug store
here and get a soda.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
Okay, here are three schools here.
Speaker 10 (12:26):
That's it here right?
Speaker 1 (12:29):
Oh, there's that same soda clerk. I can't stand him.
Speaker 10 (12:33):
Well, my heart didn't go pit a patter when you
came in blue.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
Why he hates people? Just take just take our orders.
What have you got?
Speaker 5 (12:46):
We have SODA's buffets, Flip Flip, Sunday's Bolt, shuberts oate
and Doctor Shol's footpaths.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
What are the Doctor Shoul's footpads for?
Speaker 10 (12:58):
Or our ice cream corns?
Speaker 4 (12:59):
I'm me.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
Oh, brother, I'd like to point him out to my producer.
Speaker 8 (13:10):
Wait, they give me a chopp of soda?
Speaker 1 (13:12):
Yes? And what about you, Dennis? Give me a banana split?
I hate him, but I've got to have something expensive
now that I've got my own show. Oh fine, and
what are you going to have?
Speaker 10 (13:23):
Headless belly?
Speaker 1 (13:25):
Look, clerk, why is it I?
Speaker 4 (13:27):
Jack?
Speaker 6 (13:27):
Let it go.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
Just give me your order. Okay, give me avnol ice
cream soda?
Speaker 7 (13:31):
Say Jack, have you ever seen one of those soda
curks until the icing up in the air and packing
the glass?
Speaker 10 (13:36):
I can do that.
Speaker 13 (13:37):
You cant what.
Speaker 4 (13:41):
Smith?
Speaker 1 (13:42):
Sorry?
Speaker 6 (13:51):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (13:53):
Where did it go?
Speaker 8 (13:54):
Don't look now, but you've got a two palla mode?
Speaker 10 (14:02):
What you mean?
Speaker 1 (14:03):
That scoop of white scream is on my head? Waiter,
do something about it? All right?
Speaker 6 (14:07):
All right?
Speaker 1 (14:09):
What's taking you so long?
Speaker 10 (14:10):
I'm putting a cherry on top.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
A cherry?
Speaker 6 (14:18):
Would you mind sitting in our window a couple of days?
Speaker 1 (14:24):
No, I'm not making any personal appearances this year. Okay,
here are your dreadful I don't know why it is
I always have to run into him. How you're soda married? Well? Yeah,
it don't eat your banana split so fast.
Speaker 4 (14:36):
I want to finish it before I get sick.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
That's the silliest thing I ever heard. No, marry, this
vanilla soda is very good.
Speaker 4 (14:48):
I'm often in me too.
Speaker 7 (14:52):
Year two with your soda, aren't you Jack?
Speaker 1 (14:53):
Just a minute, there's a little left at the bottom.
I've only got one show, Oh Jack, Come on just
a minute.
Speaker 10 (15:09):
Did you strike oil?
Speaker 8 (15:10):
The glass belongs to me, Never mind how much of.
Speaker 10 (15:20):
The tech sixty five said.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
No, no, no, no, Dennis, I'll pay for no, no,
mister Benny, I'll pay for it. No, no, no, Dennis,
Let me pay for it. Careful, Jack, you may take
you up. Huh.
Speaker 9 (15:32):
Remember me, I'm your guardian angel, and I was here
to stop you from paying this check.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
Oh yes, you kept me from drinking that iodine last week.
Speaker 9 (15:42):
Yes, and now I'm saving you from a fate worse
than death. What I've gotten you out of situations like
this many times before you have? Oh yes, remember that
night in Cerros when you were having dinner with all
those movies are huh? Well it was I who took
(16:03):
the check away from you and gave it to Margaret O'Brien.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
Gee, and I thought the wind did that.
Speaker 14 (16:15):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (16:16):
But why are you always trying to save my money
for me? Angels?
Speaker 9 (16:19):
Well, you see, we angels need money too, you do, yes,
And we figured if anybody would find a way to
take it with him, it would be you.
Speaker 14 (16:37):
Oh.
Speaker 9 (16:38):
Oh, by the way, Jack, I wish you'd stop telling
everybody you're only thirty eight.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
Years old, but why age a lot?
Speaker 10 (16:46):
Well, every time you tell the.
Speaker 9 (16:47):
Little pivot punders up where we are. Oh and around
your birthday, we can't hear ourselves.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
Think you.
Speaker 6 (16:57):
Really?
Speaker 1 (16:58):
Yes?
Speaker 9 (16:59):
Even though your breath day is on St. Valentine's Day,
it sounds like the fourth of July. Well out, I'll
try and watch it, you know.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
Sometimes like Jack, who are you talking to? Huh? I
just got mumbling to yourself. Rry. I wasn't mumbling to myself.
I was talking to my Oh you wouldn't believe that anyway.
Come on, kid, let's go.
Speaker 10 (17:24):
There's my car over there.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
Well Jack, Jack, huh oh, what is it done?
Speaker 4 (17:28):
Jack?
Speaker 10 (17:28):
You left the studio so fast.
Speaker 6 (17:29):
I didn't get a chance to talk to you about
next week's commercial.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
Well down, we can talk about that later.
Speaker 5 (17:33):
But Jack, I've got your quartet here the Sportsman, and
I want you to hear a new arrangement.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
Down not out here on the street corner. People don't
think we're crazy. Go wait, fellas, go away, look not
out here, look down. This is no place to rehearse
a commercial. Not out on the street, but Jack, you
can let me hear a Saturday when we come back
to the studio.
Speaker 10 (17:51):
Jack can only take a minute out on the street.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
I mean a crowd is gathering.
Speaker 5 (17:54):
All right, take it boys, pekoe call peako teacollo.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
Take a lot.
Speaker 10 (18:00):
Look O L S M s T ta get for me.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
People are gathering its supreme easy easy on the tree.
Speaker 10 (18:09):
L s N S c O L N O people
room can make you some with L.
Speaker 6 (18:17):
O L S M T.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
You are my alma mon right you people are gathering
from the package and you can keep a package in
your baggage.
Speaker 10 (18:27):
I love you and there's no other I know about you.
Speaker 11 (18:30):
Oh well, god, God, that was the most embarrassing thing
you've ever done to me right here on the street.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
You're making a monkey out of me. Now go away,
tell us go away. You know people are hollering people
they're not going to sing anymore. Oh yes they are.
People are throwing money, boy, just embarrassing.
Speaker 10 (19:04):
People are throwing money.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
Wait a minute, Wait a minute, don don fully passed?
Speaker 10 (19:20):
Boy, what's the matter with you?
Speaker 1 (19:23):
Have you gone crazy? Jack?
Speaker 8 (19:25):
Don't get all excited merry.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
Imagine people on the street throwing money. It was embarrassing.
Speaker 8 (19:30):
You were telling embarrassed. Why could keep picking it up?
Speaker 1 (19:34):
Because I'm just naturally neat. Now come on, let's get
in the car and go hello, Rochester.
Speaker 10 (19:52):
Well boys, what took it so long?
Speaker 6 (19:54):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (19:54):
I stopped the drug store and I had some ice cream.
Speaker 10 (19:57):
You must have had a lot. It's coming out on top.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
Oh don I thought he wiped that off, Rochester. Did
you hear my program today?
Speaker 6 (20:07):
Oh?
Speaker 10 (20:08):
Yes, I listened to it with some friends of mine.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
Now what do they think of that?
Speaker 4 (20:11):
Well, we thought it had.
Speaker 10 (20:13):
Some nice moments. Uh huh, Well it definitely wasn't the
best years of our life.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
No, well, I don't care what you and your friends think.
That program will cause lots of comments.
Speaker 10 (20:25):
You should have heard some of them.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
Never mind.
Speaker 10 (20:29):
By the way, Borsa, a couple of telegrams.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
Came for thanks. Read them to me, Rochester.
Speaker 10 (20:34):
This was from Fred Allen.
Speaker 1 (20:35):
Fred Allen, what does it say? It says?
Speaker 10 (20:38):
Could congratulations on your birthday next Friday? Heard your programs
and I didn't thought it was very bad. I hope
you have many more.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
Nice birthday wire to send me. Give me that other one.
Here you are, Rochester, Rochester, listened to this. Congratulations Jack
Benny on your forthcoming birthday on my special news broadcast
at six fifty five tonight, I'm gonna pay you a
great tribute. Be sure and listen. Signed HV Caltainbourne, Rochester.
(21:13):
We gotta listen to that. Yes, I'm gonna call my
whole gang and tell him about it. That's right, Mary,
h V Captain Borne at six fifty five. He's gonna
pay me a tribute. I'm not kidding Phil. At six
fifty five, Listen to h.
Speaker 4 (21:33):
V Captain Born.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
I don't forget, Dennis. Be sure to listen to h
V Captain Born at six fifty five. I can what
Oh your mother said that? Well anyway, don't forget to listen.
Speaker 10 (21:50):
Yes, don I know it's true.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
He sent me a wire. Captain Born is gonna give
me a big tribune six fifty five, goodbye.
Speaker 10 (21:59):
I know it's how, it's impossible, but it's true.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
Be sure to listen at six fifty five, Rochester, who
you're talking to?
Speaker 4 (22:04):
I don't know.
Speaker 10 (22:05):
I'm just following numbers at random. Good good.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
I couldn't put what time it is, hey, Calvin Born,
but be on now, turn.
Speaker 6 (22:13):
On the radio.
Speaker 16 (22:17):
However, art concessions were exchanged by the United States and
Risha in the privacy of the United Nations conference room.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
That's him, that's Caltimborne.
Speaker 8 (22:25):
It was announced in London the King and Queen of England.
Speaker 16 (22:27):
We're having a very pleasant portion voyage on the way
of South Africa. Like cal mart they're temporarily but once
again they're sailing on.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
They can read that stuff on the papers.
Speaker 8 (22:42):
Get to me in February Hills, California.
Speaker 10 (22:45):
That's it, that's it.
Speaker 4 (22:46):
The mayor announced that the story system would have to
be over wild.
Speaker 16 (22:55):
It seems that the privates are inadequate to carry off
the rains falling from nearby states. As you know, California
has an Orphans against Drain. Ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker 4 (23:06):
Sponsored the special program. The publishers of.
Speaker 16 (23:08):
The Encyclopedia Britannica would like to bring you a testimonial.
Speaker 4 (23:11):
From a satisfied user. There he is, mister Claris Pippa.
Speaker 11 (23:16):
I've been reading Psyclodia Britannica continuously now for two years.
Speaker 10 (23:24):
I know all about the Blas and the bees and
all that kind of stuff.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
It even tells him there that Richard wasn't the vice
one who wouldn't.
Speaker 4 (23:33):
Open the door.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
See they got everything in there.
Speaker 16 (23:39):
Tell me, mister Piper, when did you buy your set
up Encyclopedia Britennica.
Speaker 10 (23:44):
I didn't buy it.
Speaker 4 (23:45):
I was on information please, and they hit.
Speaker 10 (23:48):
Me over the head with it.
Speaker 1 (23:50):
Oh, get that over with.
Speaker 4 (23:52):
Back to the news.
Speaker 16 (23:53):
All over America, we're celebrating National Boy Scout Week since
nineteen more than thirteen and the Hot Madion American fire and.
Speaker 4 (24:00):
Men have been memberies.
Speaker 8 (24:01):
Maybe I'm next, Oh, ladies and gentlemen, I have a
very special.
Speaker 4 (24:05):
Announcement to make.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
Here comes Rochester. That means me what.
Speaker 16 (24:08):
Radio comedian will celebrate this birthday and Friday, February the fourteenth.
Speaker 10 (24:12):
It's me.
Speaker 4 (24:12):
It's see this comedian whom we all love.
Speaker 8 (24:15):
Myer is a very famous butler by the name of Rochester.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
Hey, you're lucky you mentioned you too.
Speaker 16 (24:21):
Rochester was born in Oakland, California. Yes, and he attended
the Oakland High School. After graduation, Rochester went to.
Speaker 10 (24:30):
Work and his father star what is this why boss?
I want to hear?
Speaker 16 (24:35):
But having no love for business, Rochester decided to leave
home go to work for the Santa Fe Railroad.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
Rochester, It's all about you work.
Speaker 16 (24:44):
Yes, after working for the railroad for five here Rochester mean.
Speaker 8 (24:47):
A great comedian with traveling from Los Angeles to New York.
Speaker 1 (24:50):
That's me. That was me telling Rochester.
Speaker 10 (24:51):
Tell him, you tell him you're supposed to have a.
Speaker 16 (24:53):
I And the name of this great radio star who
discovered Rochester and this celebrated his birthday Friday, February the fourteenth,
is none.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
Other than We're sorry to interrupt, mister Calvinborn, but here's
another news item.
Speaker 4 (25:07):
What it is raining in Beverly Hill. Go back to
mister Calvin Born, and that concludes my special past birthday.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
Like purn that off, I'm mad imagine sending me a
wire about a big tribute. He didn't even mention my name.
You know what's my birthday? Next Friday? Rochester?
Speaker 10 (25:40):
Not yours?
Speaker 6 (25:40):
I know?
Speaker 10 (25:41):
Boss. By the way, how old are you going to see?
Speaker 4 (25:43):
Thirty eight?
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Jeez? See that angel wasn't kidd here.
Speaker 10 (25:54):
What did you say, Boss?
Speaker 1 (25:56):
Nothing?
Speaker 6 (25:56):
Nothing?
Speaker 1 (25:57):
I'm going to bed. Good night, and gentlemen. The angel
on tonight's program was played by that great star, mister
Victor Moore, and HB. Captenborn was impersonated by Ali o'tooles.
(26:26):
Ladies and gentlemen. During the last war, the chief hope
of our enemies was to divide the United States along
racial and religious lines and thereby conqueror. Let's not spread prejudice.
A divided America is a weak America, and we need
the same harmony among our various racial and religious groups
that was the source of our strength and war. Through
(26:49):
our behavior, we encourage the respect of our children and
make them better neighbors to all races and religions. Remind
them that being good neighbors would help make our country
great and kept her free. Thank you.
Speaker 4 (27:11):
Well.
Speaker 6 (27:12):
Jack will be back in Josha, Mana. But first, here
is my good friend Bassil Risdale.
Speaker 1 (27:17):
As you listened to the channel at tobacco Walks in
near remember ls Mst.
Speaker 4 (27:21):
The professor.
Speaker 1 (27:26):
American lucky strike means fine tobacco, and fine tobacco is
what counts in a cigarette.
Speaker 6 (27:32):
Mister John Lawrence.
Speaker 2 (27:33):
Coming, an independent tobacco auctioneer of Cincianna, Kentucky, was born
and brought up in the tobacco business.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
Here's what he said. I've sold the back at auctions
over nineteen years. In all that time, I've seen the
make as a Lucky Strike by fine good taste in tobacco,
tobacca that's got quality, real quality. I smoked Lucky as
myself for twenty two years. Quote fine, good tasting tobacco,
tobacco that got quality qual it unquote. Yes, independent tobacco
(28:03):
ex first, like mister Cummins, can see the makers of
Lucky Strike consistently select and buy that fine, that light,
that naturally mild tobaccos fine light, naturally mild tobacco, real
Lucky Strike tobacco ls MFT Lucky Strike means fine tobacco.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
Yes for your own real deep down smoking enjoyment. Remember
ls MFP Lucky Strike means fine tobacco. So smoke that
smoke of fine tobacco Lucky Strike, so round, so.
Speaker 6 (28:31):
Firm, so fully packed, so free.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
And easy on the draw. Ladies and gentlemen, I hope
you all tune in next week because I'm going to
have a birthday party and invite one of the world's
(28:55):
greatest violinists. Is for Isaac Stern, and I'll also and
bite mister and missus Ronald Colman.
Speaker 10 (29:04):
I hope you, gentlemen.
Speaker 4 (29:05):
The rain in Beverly Hills has now turned to.
Speaker 6 (29:07):
Orange juice.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
See I I wish my swimming pool was empty. Good Nightfall.
Speaker 10 (29:21):
This is MVP.
Speaker 6 (29:22):
The I st
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