I read Reddit r/AITA Stories: Crashing Plates and the Pee-Pee Tapes

(00:00:00) I read Reddit r/AITA Stories: Crashing Plates and the Pee-Pee Tapes
(00:01:18) AITA for paying for my dog’s surgery instead of helping my girlfriend’s sister with her rent?
(00:04:40) AITA for saying I will move out of my parents house?
(00:11:56) AITA for being in love with two men at the same time?
(00:16:50) AITA for not following an autistic ritual resulting in property being damaged?
(00:20:55) AITA for not taking in my BIL who peed on my stuff and blamed my cat?

On the 10th episode of The Joevelocity Show, Joe is solo this time, and he reads some more r/AITA stories from Reddit.

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• AITA for paying for my dog’s surgery instead of helping my girlfriend’s sister with her rent?

The first r/AITA story is about a man who chose to pay for his dog's $8,500 surgery instead of helping his girlfriend's sister with her rent. I discuss the ethical and personal dilemmas involved, examining whether he is in the wrong for prioritizing his pet's health over his girlfriend's family issues. The story highlights different perspectives, with some commenters siding with the man's right to spend his money as he sees fit, while others emphasize the importance of compassion. I suggest potential solutions, such as offering a loan or finding a roommate, to navigate the tension between financial responsibility and empathy.

• AITA for saying I will move out of my parents house?

Next, Joe addresses a challenging family situation where a 24-year-old single mother, living with her parents to complete her sonography program, faces the dilemma of making room for her grandmother, whose health is rapidly declining. With the family's three-bedroom home already full, the proposed solution involves moving her teenage brother to the living room, prompting her to suggest moving out to ease the cramped living conditions. This suggestion leads to tension with her mother, who feels overwhelmed and accuses her of being ungrateful. Through thoughtful commentary, I explore the importance of balancing short-term sacrifices for long-term goals, the complexities of family obligations, and the need for understanding and support during difficult times. Emphasizing the value of completing her education for a better future, I highlight the temporary nature of the discomfort and encourage communication and compassion among family members.

• AITA for being in love with two men at the same time?

The next story addresses the complexities of navigating love triangles and the importance of making decisive choices for personal growth and relationship clarity. I explore the notion that true love is selfless and contrast it with the often self-centered nature of lust. The chapter highlights the potential fallout of choosing between two partners and reflects on personal experiences of being single after choosing poorly. Additionally, I discuss the necessity of ensuring that relationships add value rather than detract from one's life.

• AITA for not following an autistic ritual resulting in property being damaged?

I touch on an awkward social situation involving a friend's autistic child and an unexpected dinner ritual, emphasizing the importance of communication and setting expectations in social gatherings to avoid misunderstandings and conflict.

• AITA for not taking in my BIL who peed on my stuff and blamed my cat?

In the Moment of Conclusion, I examine the story where the poster and her husband once lived with his brother while her husband finished college. She brought her toilet-trained male cat, with everyone’s approval. Not long after moving in, she started finding her clothes, shoes, and other belongings soaked in urine that smelled human, not like cat pee. The brother blamed the cat, but after weeks of frustration, the poster set up a hidden camera — and caught her husband’s brother himself sneaking into their room and urinating on her things.She immediately moved out, left her husband to handle it, and never really spoke to his brother again. Years later, after the pandemic left the brother unemployed and homeless, he asked to move in with them. She refused, saying she could never live with someone who had literally peed on her belongings. Joe voted her as not an asshole. Her brother-in-law’s behavior was egregious and violating and refusing to let him move in is a reasonable boundary, not a grudge.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:10):
This is not a drill. This is the Joe Velocity Show,
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featuring officially licensed merchandise for iconic bands and top sports teams.
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(00:34):
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Speaker 2 (00:40):
Hello, and welcome to the Juvelancie Show this week. I'm
here with nobody. It's just me, myself and I So
basically we're gonna do the same as thatch format, except
there's gonna be no guest. And why is there no guest? Well, one,
I'm having troublegating people to record shows with me lately,
so I don't know why, but it just happens. But nonetheless,

(01:03):
here we will have gas in the future, I promise you.
And in this case here then I hope you liked
me and by myself so because that's what you're gonnet
for the next half an hour here, So let's go
ahead here and let's get this started here with our
first story. Am I the asshole for paying for my
dog's surgery instead of helping my sister's girlfriend with their rents.

(01:26):
I have a dog that's on the older side of
nine years, and a few weeks ago it lost its
use of its back legs. I had to get surgery
for him because I was not getting him put down.
Oh all came to about eight five hundred dollars, all
wish I had to pay for out of pocket. This
wasn't a huge problem because I've plenty saved up and
in general I'm well off. Here's the issue. My girlfriend's

(01:48):
sister has been struggling with rent. Apparently she's behind by
a few months and panicking about being kicked out. Well,
my girlfriend found out what I paid for the surgery.
She got really upset with me and said I was
being selfish. Her words were along the lines of you'd
spend eight grand on a dog, but you won't even
help my sister keep a roof over her head. Since then,
my girlfriend has been pissed off with me. He keeps

(02:09):
calling me cheap and selfish for not helping her sister.
I feel like I shouldn't have to suffer for another
person's poortlife choices. The reason her sister is in this
predicament is because her relationship fell apart and she's living
in a place that she can't afford. Further than that,
I own a four bedroom home. My girlfriend suggested that
her sister moving in with us, but I refused, and

(02:29):
by the asshole for refusing to help her sister. Well,
you want my personal opinion on this here, Basically I
kind of fallow a little bit in between. One is
that he's not the asshole because the fact is that
if he starts helping her out, he's literally gonna become
an ATM and I don't think he wants to do

(02:51):
that obviously. On the other hand, there too, it's kind
of like he's also showing no compassion whatsoever for the
predicament that she's in. So in this case here, I
think they can kind of come up with a solution
here that would work fine for everybody here, whether it
be a loan or something like that. But in this
case here then then also is fraught with its own

(03:13):
problems there, like, for example, like she doesn't pay back
the loan for example, that could be bad. So I'm
not as actually sure what the solution would be here.
And the call centers on this Reddit post were also
kind of in the middle there with us. Here the
first comment said, not the asshole, however, you need the
dump her girlfriend who's determined to make her sister's poor

(03:33):
choices your problem. Time to rehome their girlfriend seriously in
the relationship now, because she's going to expect to always
bell out her family. She's going to move them into
your home behind your back. And then the third comment
here was probably more in line with what I'm thinking there.
Truth is that many people are struggling because they cannot
find work right now. In many places, the job market

(03:55):
is just not good and people are feeling it. Saying
the sister just can't get a job two is dismissive.
It may not be realistic, but doesn't change that he
one hundred percent should be paying for his dog vets
care and doesn't really have any obligations to his girlfriend's sister. So,
like I was saying here before, it's like, yeah, technically
he doesn't have any obligation there, but on the end

(04:17):
end or two, it's kind of like needs to have
some compassion here in this case here, or you know,
like I said before here, if we can do a
loan or something, or maybe come up with some other
way to maybe help her out there, like helping her
get in our roommate or something like that. I think
that situation would be a lot better down the line there.
And we're gonna move on to this second story. And

(04:42):
by the asshold were saying, I will move out of
my parents' house. I'm twenty four female, a single mom,
solo parent of a three and a half year old.
The child's father is not involved whatsoever. I couldn't even
tell you where he lives. Early last year, I moved
back in with my parents because I just couldn't afford
to do it on my own anymore while in school,
since I had dropped down to a part time job.

(05:04):
It was my parents idea for me to move back
in with them, and at first I was very skeptical
about it because I'm a very independent person. But I
decided to do it because I was quite literally drowning.
We agreed I could live with them until after I
finishing a program and get a job with my career field.
Only have three terms left before I'm done. I'm a
sonography student, and it's taken me a little longer because

(05:26):
I started from scratch and had to get my associates
before I could apply to the program, which now brings
me to where we are today. My grandmother's health is
rapidly declining and she cannot live on our own anymore.
She lives across the country along with mental work centdate family.
My mom's brother is there for her, but he doesn't
do much or won't do more the care for her.

(05:49):
My parents decided they're going to move her into where
we are in December. The issue is that my parents
don't have the room. Our house is a three bedroom,
two bath. Currently, my mom, I'm and dad are the
primary My Shah and I are on one bedroom and
my seventeen year old brother is in the third bedroom.
My mom said that my brother can move into the
living room for the time being, and I immediately disagreed.

(06:12):
I told her he does not deserve to lose his
privacy and that I would try to go back to
the nine to five had prior or find something similar
and talk to my bosor to see if I could
put my program in the back burner right now so
I could move back out. I was immediately met with no,
you can't do that, and that is ridiculous. I explained
that it isn't fair to any of us to be cramped,

(06:33):
and if let me meet back out, if my brother
and Nana would have her own space, or Nana isn't
going to be a run much longer, so I'd rather
prioritize that over school that will always be there. And
I also think it would be very hard on my
Nana to be a run of very active and loud
toddler daily. And now this is where the am I
the asshole question comes in. We started to argue if

(06:55):
my mother got very angry, she started saying that she
can't believe I would just drop everything I was working for.
She felt taken advantage of it by me by living
with them for nothing, and called me ungrateful and said,
if I want to leave so bad, I might as
well just get out. Now this isn't where I thought
it would go at all. I wanted to do what
was to help them temporarily release some stressors and make

(07:16):
sure everyone was comfortable. So let's go ahead here and
talk about this here real quick. Uh boy, this is
a tough situation, you know. So it's kind of like
she was trying to help them out by moving out,
giving them more space, so then that way they can
move her in, her grandmother in, and I understand where

(07:37):
the parents are kind of like, well, you know, why
the heck did we let you move in if you're
just going to go ahead there and move back out.
It's a tough situation, and I'm not sure there's only
any great answers there, but I think the commenters provide
some help in this situation here and helping us to
understand this issue a little bit better. First commenter goes,

(07:58):
not the asshole. Mama's freaking not because she didn't realize
offering her mama help was going to screw you. She's terrified.
She just wrote a future give a minute for you
a both to calm down and then approach her with love.
You're funny because you both love each other so much
and you're trying to help each other. Talk to your mama.
I will say, tho, sweetheart, everyone being uncomfortable for a

(08:20):
little while is in a reasonable sacrifice to make for
your education. It is really really important to you to
finish what you started, is to take it to a
better life for you and your daughter. Don't give up
so easily, which in this case here kind of makes
sense there because it's kind of like you know what
she's getting through school here. This is gonna be a
temperary situation with the nana there because she apparently is

(08:42):
not going to be around for much longer. So yeah,
they could be uncomfortable for a lot while. So literally
in a censor by her dropping out school moving back out,
It's kind of like I'm doing a lot of stuff
there that was happening in the first place there because
she was kind of moving forward in a sense. This
is like, you know, one step forward to steps back
kind of thing. The other commenter goes, this is it.

(09:05):
The right thing is to prioritize your future. Grandma also
needs help. Sometimes everyone has been uncomfortable and makes sex perperfrises.
This is one you'll appreciate eighteen months when you have
the ability to be completely independent. So that commenter brings
up an important point there that basically is that once
she's able to do this here, graduate from the program,
get a new job and everything there, and then move out,

(09:27):
she'll be in a much better situation than she is
right now. So I agree with that as well. So
the third one goes, give your mom some grace. She
is stressing over you and everyone else is trying to
do what is best for everyone. You only have three
terms left. She feels guilty. Everyone let her do this
and just be there for her as much as possible.

(09:48):
Your brother won't die from being in the living room
for a little while. You can only switch out with him.
He starts to stress. She wants you to succeed, but
doesn't see and out from not having to care for
your nana just as understanding as possible and being cramped
for three terms. It isn't the worst thing that could happen.
No one is the asshole in the situation. So in

(10:09):
this case here too. Yeah, I feel like there's a
lot of love here going on there, and it's just
kind of like everybody just has to come to a
solution that works for everybody. Like we said in the
last story there. So with that said, we're gonna go
ahead here and we're gonna take your break and we'll
be back with more of than the Joe Wassi Show.

Speaker 3 (10:25):
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Speaker 2 (11:49):
And welcome back to the juwe Velocity Show. What's the gain?
I'm here solo this time around, So we're gonna go
ahead here and we're gonna get on to the third
story and on the asshole for being in love with
two men at the same time when they love me too?
What can I do? I fall in love with two
men who are best friends. One is calm, supportive it

(12:10):
makes me feel safe. The other's exciting, adventurous, and passionate.
They both bring out differentsom and they care del me
about them both. Here's the tricky part. They both love
me too. I feel good for being the situation, worry
about hurting them or their friendship, and when the asshole
for having these feelings and not knowing if I should
choose one. They're trying to be honest with both. Cry

(12:33):
me a fucking river. Really, you know, it's kind of
like for somebody who's single, keeck anybody there this person
want that have their cake, eat it too, as far
as I'm concerned, you know, And it's just kind of like,
oh boo hoo hoo. I have two people who are
in love with me. Pick one for God's sakes, you know,
and move on with your life there, you know, And
pick the better one there, you know, the one you

(12:54):
think you have more of the future with. That's all
you can really do there. In any ways, here, the
comments I think were kind of an agreement there. Unless
the option for appoly AMers situations on the table, you
will either need to pick one or walk away from both.
Picky one doesn't have a decent chance of destroying you

(13:14):
and their friendship. So if that's the option, you go
with and tread carefully and hope you worth the damage done.
You feel how you feel, so not the asshole, But
it's not playing games. Make a decision for everyone's sake,
you know, because it's kind of like, yeah, I don't
think it's fair to either person that you're in love
with two people, you know, so it's kind of like

(13:34):
I think you need to, you know, basically, be like
make a decision here, one or the other, but not both. Anyways. Here,
the second commenter goes on. It says, the real answers,
you don't understand love period. You understand less enemaly, but
not love. Love is not selfish, And your question is

(13:56):
very much is it's about you and not what love is?
Because really, in this case here, I have a feeling
that I completely, utterly, one hundred percent agreed with that
commenter there. It's kind of like you know what you
may end up, you know, holding the shore on the
stick there once it's all said and done. And I'll
be honest there, I did that myself there. You know,

(14:19):
I was in a long term relationship and I gave
it up for something new, and two years later I
ended up being burned. You know. So now I had
two people didn't like me there, as supposed to one
person that I technically was still in a relationship with
there because maybe I wasn't really in love with either

(14:40):
one of them there, So you know, in a sense there,
maybe I got what I deserved.

Speaker 1 (14:44):
You know.

Speaker 2 (14:46):
Basically, the third commenter basically goes here, you end up
with one or none, and that's as simple as that there. Yeah,
I would think if you're had the benefit of being
that kind of situation, you need to go ahead there
and make a choice and then move on with your
life there, you know. And it's kind of going back
to what I was just saying there before I made

(15:08):
that choice and I unfortunately got burned. And if I
was to go back and make that choice again, I
don't think I make the same choice. I think I
would have worked it out with the first person as
opposed to you know, breaking up with them again with
the second person there, because now at this point here
I'm single, you know, so whatever, But I mean, you know, granted,

(15:30):
I'm looking at this through rose colored glasses and it's
a situation there where I'm not sure maybe if it
were worked out any better, but what was done is done.
Granted I'm not upsett being single. Granted it would be
nice to be with somebody there, but it's not necessary
in my life. I'm perfectly fine with where I'm at.

(15:51):
But the only thing I can think of it there too,
is that for me to be in a relationship, it
has to be vantagious to me. You know, it has
to add to my life and lot subtract from it there.
Because I think a lot of reasons why in relationships
before we're financial you know that it was much easier
to do with two people than it was to do

(16:13):
it alone. But now being single for quite a number
of years now I become financially independent. There I can
afford to be on my own and thrive on my own.
So in this case here, then for me to get
back into another relationship, I need to make sure is
that that relationship benefits me and adds to my life,

(16:34):
it doesn't subtract from it there, like a lot of
the relationships in the past have ended up doing there
for me. Anyways, I could keep going on and on
and on about my failure in relationships and whatnot. But
we won't do that here. But since I'm flying solo today,
we have yet another story and it goes and by
the asshole for not falling an autistic ritual resulting in

(16:57):
property being damaged. I'll keep it short. Friend has an
autistic son. I met him before, a lovely lad. He's six.
I've never spent pro long time with him, just short
hour visits to my home or at the park. They
invited me to dinner the other night and I went.
Their son has a ritual. He has to do a
dinner where he takes a bite of his food, the

(17:19):
exchanges this fork with someone else. The whole family follows
his routine. He takes a bite, swaps the fork with Mom,
takes the bite, swaps for work with Dad, and so
on and so on around the table. The allege it's
the only way he'll eat. Well. I refused, and it
resulted in a huge stantrum, which unfortually resulted in throwing

(17:40):
plates in other dinnerware, some of it is broken. I'm
being blamed for not doing this, let's be honest, disgusting ritual.
Even I it's the only way they'll eat, they should
have warned me beforehand. I would have publitely declined the invitation.
Was I the asshole? I'm gonna say this right now,
not at all, And I think the commenters completely agree

(18:03):
with me. There. First commenter goes, not the asshole, because
they definitely should have told you about this ahead of time.
By the way, you all the swamp silverware with our
son actors used it, and likely after someone else in
our family has also used it as well. It's definitely
something you tell someone ahead of time. Also, what if
he had some communicatable disease. It's in everyone's best interests

(18:24):
that this is discussed handled ahead of time. Watch a
weird timin in performance be introduced to an imaginary friend,
compliment a shitte drawling. These are the types of things
that one might have the grassly put up with when
you're would These are the types of things you might
have Gracius put up with with a dinner with friends' kids.

(18:45):
What you described is something else. The second corner goes,
as a parent of two antested kids, what OPI describes
as just yikes, even with the kids and their quirks,
I would never invite someone to dinner knowing my child
does this with everyone at the table. Parents have to

(19:05):
learn to manage routines, just like kids have to learn
how to manage certain behaviors. Like my daughter will unannounced
it up, jump and flap her hands. People think it's
cute or funny because she does it with a big
grin on her face, and it's not affecting in one
so we let her be. This is just yikes. I
absolutely one hundred percent agree with those of these commenters here.

(19:27):
This is just gross. I'm sorry, you know, personally, I
want to eat my own food. I want to be
left the hell lone to eat my own food. I
do not want to have to be passing around silverware
that somebody else has used to take a bite and
then keep passing it around with some stupid ritual. There,
the parents need to get a hold of their kid
and be like, hey, this is not how normal people eat.

(19:52):
This may be how we eat, but this is not
how normal people eat. They need to break them of
this habit basically, and unfortunately there, I'm not sure if
they're gonna be able to do it there and then
the reaction there. I mean, granted he's autistic and whatnot there,
but still it's kind of like, you know what, we
start throwing places around and everything there. It's just kind
of like, I don't think this is what the guests

(20:16):
had signed up for here. And I think it's one
of those cases are where basically the parents are going
to have to get down to this kid and be like, hey,
this is not how we act around guests, as simple
as that, because in this case then just because you
don't get your own way doesn't mean you throw a tantrum.

(20:37):
And I think in a sense of enabling this behavior
here and I think something needs to change, the simple
as that, same ways. Believe it or not, we have
come up to the last story, the moment of conclusion

(20:57):
this is a great story, and then the asshole or
not taking in my brother in law he peed on
my stuff and blamed my cat. My twenty nine female husband, Ted,
who started for Mail, and I had been together for
ten years. We met early in college and dated all throughout.
I graduated before him and took a semester for traveling

(21:18):
while he finished so we could move to another state.
He ended up having to repeats and glasses, so when
I came back, we couldn't move just yet, and I
had no place on my own, so I moved in
with him in his roommate brother, Ash, who started two
mail well Ted finished school Before moving in. I made
sure Ted cleared with Ash, that's bringing my male cat
with me. They had a dog who was old, but

(21:41):
Ash said that he's fine with it. About three weeks
after moving in, I started noticing that our bedroom started
to smell a lot like pea, and we couldn't figure
out where it was coming from. My cat has still
had trained, so I knew it wasn't him. And the
dog couldn't get into our room because it was on
the second floor and he had hit problems. I started
finding clothes on the floor smelling like pee. I asked

(22:04):
Ted and he said he had no idea. After three
months of frustration, and this's happening about two times a week,
I asked Ash if he was bringing the dog upstairs.
He said no. At this point, I'm fed up. I
stopped leaving clothes anywhere, but I was still finding pea
in my shoes. I throw pillows things like that. After
breaking down one day, Ash suggested it was my cat

(22:25):
working his territory, as male cats are known for doing that.
He said it made sense as it was on my
things and it was a new place. If any of
all have cats, you know that cat pete smells different
than human pea. I trust my cat with my whole heart,
so I said it came her in our room. I
was paying rent. Boyfriend knew about it, so I figured
this is the way to find out where the pea

(22:47):
was coming from. Lo and behold, Ash was coming into
her room and peeing all my stuff. When I saw
the video, I packed my things in Cat and went
to State with a friend until Ted finished college and
we moved. When all this happened, I refused to confront
him because the roommate in Ted then would have to
deal with that. I really haven't spoken the Ash since

(23:10):
he was the best man at the wedding. But we
then clear each other family gatherings and such. But the pandemic.
Ash losses the job, an apartment and is honestly struggling financially.
He asked I can move in with us, and honestly
don't want to because he peed on my stuff. He
was twenty five years oluldn't happen. He was a grown
ass man. Now my whole family is calling and text

(23:31):
me and tell me I'm an ass for leaving him
homeless in the middle of a pandemic. But it wasn't
their stuff getting peed on. Am I the asshole? Am
I holding a grudge because he peed on my stuff?
I know I'm justified. But now Ted says that he
couldn't do that to his brother, and the job market
is better here for his type of job. Oh, for

(23:53):
Christ's sakes. I mean seriously, I think he lost his
roommate privileges there whenever he decided the pee on her stuff,
simple as that. Anyways, the commenters are great on this one.
Not the asshole. You all those family members complaining they

(24:13):
can have PPPs asshole live with them instead o P.
This is the hill that you die on. Do not
let this fire hydrant move into your house and tell
your husband that he needs to be on your side
about this where he needs to be single, not the asshole. Seriously,
I gagged reading this. My son or daughter ever did

(24:36):
that to your sibling, your sibling significant other, I would
just own them if he didn't apologize. When you pay
for everything that was peed on, I can't even imagine.
Not the asshole. Yeah, that kind of brings up an
important point here where it's kind of like, you know,
where was Ted and all this here? What did he
have to say to her?

Speaker 4 (24:54):
You know?

Speaker 2 (24:55):
And basically I'm surprised that her and Ted are still
together because apparently, you know, nothing's happening in regards to
her with us, you know, so really in this case here, yeah,
it's just kind of like, you know what, Yeah, I
don't blame her for saying nop not moving in with me.
If you're going to pe and my stuff, I'm not

(25:15):
gonna try again here and expect something different. We have
come up to the end of the show. I want
to thank you very much there for checking out the
Velocity Show. Make sure subscribe to the show in your
favorite podcast apple listening on demand They don't know it's
an episode. For access to all our websites, visit us

(25:36):
at Joe velocity dot com. Thanks for listening, and have
a good one.