August 4, 2025 • 35 mins
(00:00:00) Intro
(00:00:08) Navigating Friendships During Life Changes
(00:07:53) Dealing With Unwanted Door-to-Door Salespeople
(00:19:04) Feeding a Friend's Cat Dilemma
(00:25:56) Navigating Bisexuality and LGBTQ+ Community
On the first episode of The Joevelocity Show, listeners are taken on a journey through the intricate and often puzzling aspects of modern life. From the delicate balance of friendship to the challenges of setting personal boundaries, Joe and his guest, Hakeem, dive deep into issues that resonate with many.
• AITA for being tired of my friend always requiring my attention?
Friendship is a fundamental part of life, yet it can become unexpectedly complex, especially when personal circumstances change. Joe and Hakeem delve into a story from the "Am I the Asshole?" subreddit, examining a situation where one friend feels overwhelmed by another's emotional needs. This chapter explores the importance of communication and the necessity of setting boundaries, emphasizing that it's okay to prioritize one's own well-being, even if it means stepping back from a needy friend. The conversation sheds light on the guilt that can accompany such decisions and the importance of understanding when a friendship becomes too demanding.
• AITA for being a dick to a door-to-door salesman?
Switching gears, we tackle a common annoyance: door-to-door salespeople. Despite clear "no soliciting" signs, these salespeople often intrude on personal space, leading to frustration and disruption, especially for those with young children and pets. Joe and Hakeem share personal anecdotes and listener experiences, highlighting the struggle between earning a living and respecting homeowners' privacy. They offer strategies for dealing with these unwelcome visits, underscoring the importance of maintaining a peaceful home environment.
• AITA for refusing to travel an hour to feed my friend’s cat?
Switching gears, we tackle a common annoyance: door-to-door salespeople. Despite clear "no soliciting" signs, these salespeople often intrude on personal space, leading to frustration and disruption, especially for those with young children and pets. Joe and Hakeem share personal anecdotes and listener experiences, highlighting the struggle between earning a living and respecting homeowners' privacy. They offer strategies for dealing with these unwelcome visits, underscoring the importance of maintaining a peaceful home environment.
• And in the Moment of Conclusion, AITA for not wanting my girlfriend to go to gay pride?
Finally, we venture into the realm of relationships and sexual identity, focusing on the experiences of individuals who identify as bisexual. Joe and Hakeem discuss the challenges that can arise in heterosexual relationships when one partner is bisexual, particularly the misunderstandings and misconceptions that can occur. They stress the importance of acceptance and support within partnerships, suggesting that attending Pride events together can foster greater understanding and solidarity. This conversation is a call for open communication and acceptance, encouraging listeners to embrace diverse identities within their relationships.
Subscribe to The Joevelocity Show on your favorite podcast app and never miss an episode—new episodes drop every Monday.
Need more Joevelocity in your life? Visit joevelocity.com for access to all our sites and content.
(00:00:08) Navigating Friendships During Life Changes
(00:07:53) Dealing With Unwanted Door-to-Door Salespeople
(00:19:04) Feeding a Friend's Cat Dilemma
(00:25:56) Navigating Bisexuality and LGBTQ+ Community
On the first episode of The Joevelocity Show, listeners are taken on a journey through the intricate and often puzzling aspects of modern life. From the delicate balance of friendship to the challenges of setting personal boundaries, Joe and his guest, Hakeem, dive deep into issues that resonate with many.
• AITA for being tired of my friend always requiring my attention?
Friendship is a fundamental part of life, yet it can become unexpectedly complex, especially when personal circumstances change. Joe and Hakeem delve into a story from the "Am I the Asshole?" subreddit, examining a situation where one friend feels overwhelmed by another's emotional needs. This chapter explores the importance of communication and the necessity of setting boundaries, emphasizing that it's okay to prioritize one's own well-being, even if it means stepping back from a needy friend. The conversation sheds light on the guilt that can accompany such decisions and the importance of understanding when a friendship becomes too demanding.
• AITA for being a dick to a door-to-door salesman?
Switching gears, we tackle a common annoyance: door-to-door salespeople. Despite clear "no soliciting" signs, these salespeople often intrude on personal space, leading to frustration and disruption, especially for those with young children and pets. Joe and Hakeem share personal anecdotes and listener experiences, highlighting the struggle between earning a living and respecting homeowners' privacy. They offer strategies for dealing with these unwelcome visits, underscoring the importance of maintaining a peaceful home environment.
• AITA for refusing to travel an hour to feed my friend’s cat?
Switching gears, we tackle a common annoyance: door-to-door salespeople. Despite clear "no soliciting" signs, these salespeople often intrude on personal space, leading to frustration and disruption, especially for those with young children and pets. Joe and Hakeem share personal anecdotes and listener experiences, highlighting the struggle between earning a living and respecting homeowners' privacy. They offer strategies for dealing with these unwelcome visits, underscoring the importance of maintaining a peaceful home environment.
• And in the Moment of Conclusion, AITA for not wanting my girlfriend to go to gay pride?
Finally, we venture into the realm of relationships and sexual identity, focusing on the experiences of individuals who identify as bisexual. Joe and Hakeem discuss the challenges that can arise in heterosexual relationships when one partner is bisexual, particularly the misunderstandings and misconceptions that can occur. They stress the importance of acceptance and support within partnerships, suggesting that attending Pride events together can foster greater understanding and solidarity. This conversation is a call for open communication and acceptance, encouraging listeners to embrace diverse identities within their relationships.
Subscribe to The Joevelocity Show on your favorite podcast app and never miss an episode—new episodes drop every Monday.
Need more Joevelocity in your life? Visit joevelocity.com for access to all our sites and content.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Lowering the bar, one hot take at a time. This
is the Joe Velocity Show.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
And welcome to the Joe Velossy Show.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
This is the first episode, and I am here with
my first guest that came.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
You know, I'm surprised.
Speaker 3 (00:33):
I didn't have that sound effect when I was doing
my old podcast and now I have it with this
one here.
Speaker 4 (00:37):
So it's because you don't want to hear my Jamaican
air there not great.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Okay, I'm with yourself. Well, I al say this, well,
by the.
Speaker 4 (00:57):
Sounds of the titles of these story that we're gonna
be here, you might be bouncing a lot of things.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
Right exactly that we're going. Yeah. Anyways, yeah, so basically
this is our first show, so I want to give
you an idea of what the episodes are going to
be like. Basically, for this episode, we're going to talk
about four different stories from the subreddit am I the
Asshole and talk about them, give her takes on them
(01:27):
and everything there. So yeah, yeah, so in case, then
let's go ahead here and let's get started with the
first story. Here we go, am I the Asshover being
tired of my friend always requiring my attention. Anyways, we're
in our early twenties and have been friends for thirteen years,
(01:48):
with a two year gap in between. She's one of
my best friends. When my ex and I broke up
last year, we reconnected and I'd been really close ever since.
One of the reasons we bonded again so quickly was
that she had also gone through her breakup. We shared
the experience of heartbreaking and help each other heal. We
went for walks, had dinners, did activities together, and tried
(02:08):
to forget the pain. Eventually, it moved on and found happiness.
For the past two and a half months, I've been
in a new relationship and I'm happier than ever. She,
on the other hand, went back to her ex multiple times,
each time telling me how sick she was of him,
how much she hated his lives, and how she was
finally done, only to get back together with him again.
(02:29):
I got tired of repeating myself, telling her to block him,
move on, that she deserved better ife like talking to
a wall. This cycle has been going on for about
one and a half years. Around two weeks ago, she
saw him at a festival with some girls and a
friend that he had claimed he wasn't in contact with anymore.
That seemed to be the final straw. She called me
(02:50):
at two am, and I stayed on the film with
her for half an hour, talking her down. Now, we
used to hang out all the time, but she's training
to be a police officer and is only home one weekends.
I recently started a new job with long hours, and
when I'm home, I just want to eat, spend a
little time with my girlfriend, work out, and sleep.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
That's all I have time for.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
When the weekend finally comes, I try to see all
my friends and catch up on things I couldn't do
during the week laundry, cleaning, errands. There's just not much
time left, no more spontaneous activities, no more endless hangouts
like before. I'm trying to fit everything and everyone into
just two days, and it's exhausting. But because she's heartbroken,
she now expects more of my time and attention. She's
(03:33):
been complaining that I'm not there for her, that I
keep letting her down just because I now have other commitments.
I don't work from home anymore, I'm a partner, I
have other friends, and I barely have any time for myself.
Today she told me that I'm making her priority, and
she's putting in all the effort, and like, yeah, of
course she's not always my number one priority. I'm way
(03:53):
twelve hours a day, I drive at least ten hours
a week. I'm exhausted, but I do try. Last weekend
we hung out on Friday and sat all day. There hasn't
been a single weekend where we didn't see each other
because I make the effort. Still, she says I'm not
there for her when she needs me, But for the
last one and a half years, I've been listening, supporting,
and telling her the same things over and over and over.
(04:14):
She can moved on by now. I found somebody new
but happy, but instead she keeps going back to him.
And now she's making me feel good. If you're not
doing enough, even though I'm under constant stress, I'm trying
so hard. Am I really the asshole here? What do
you think?
Speaker 2 (04:32):
Wow?
Speaker 4 (04:34):
I got a headache just thinking about everything she said,
what they said him. I don't know, so off top,
there's a lot going on. Just yeah, you got your
own life. She has her own life. I've been the
kind of friends that when y'all go through things together,
I guess you've been each other's shoulder to crying on,
(04:57):
listening ear and whatnot. That's all cool, great now that
you're going through something that is probably bringing the mood
of like the friend group now because you're going through
a breakup or whatever, you do require probably more attention
than what I can give to you. Right However, if
(05:20):
I'm not actually expressing this to said friend, they don't know.
They just think that I'm just from them looking at
me looks like I'm just too busy for them, when no,
I just don't have the bandwidth to deal with your
situation right now because I now have a new situation.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Where I have a new job. I'm no longer working
from home.
Speaker 4 (05:44):
Like she said, I am now less active than I
want to be. However, I'm doing this because I have to,
and I will make time for you on the weekends
when I can, but it's just not now going to
be every weekend right now.
Speaker 3 (05:59):
It sounds like she needs to therapy, to be honest
with you, there is what it sounds like to me. Yeah, yeah,
it sounds like she needs a therapist to talk to,
you know, because I feel like you know, and I've
had friends like that there before. Basically, get on the
phone it's all about them their issues, and it's like
they don't want to do anything to make their situation better.
They just simply went to just keep repeating the same
(06:19):
thing over and over and over again, expecting different results.
I think that's like the definition of insanity, right, sure, one.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
Of them, you know.
Speaker 4 (06:28):
Yeah, No, it's just a lot of I think misplaced
feelings here, but nothing that a conversation shouldn't help. However,
who wants to have that conversation.
Speaker 3 (06:42):
Yeah, but it's almost like they keep having the same
conversation over and over and over again about this accent
that she needs to move on from him, but she
still keeps going back.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
This is what you do.
Speaker 4 (06:53):
You have one final conversation with her, You say, look, hey,
friend like you, I love you. That's what we want
to do. Though, I'm gonna listen to you one last
time about everything that you need to get off your
chest about said person. If for whatever reason, after we
go past this one time and you still cannot let
it go, baby, you're gonna need to find you a
(07:13):
new friend to deal with that. Because I have reached
all limits. I have too many things going on in
my own personal life. Now that has changed that now
I have to prioritize aid by well being to my
home life and be the stress that I don't want
(07:34):
to have by listening to your story. So here, you know,
you got one chance let it all out right now
after this moment, we are done with said situation. If
you cannot be done, just no, I will be there
for you in every other way possible. With this situation,
I no longer.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
Can, right, I think?
Speaker 3 (07:53):
Yeah, I agree completely, And the comments seem to spell
out the same thing here. One of them said, I
used to have a friend like this. We don't talk anymore.
The best thing that's ever happened to me. Because someone
who has the same issue as week over week isn't
going to change, doesn't want to, and is addicted to
her pain. Tell her you're sorry, but you need to
focus on yourself for now. Take a break for a
(08:13):
couple of weekends from her. See how you feel. Yeah,
also too, man, You're not the asshole here. Friendship's a
two way street, not a twenty four to seven hotline.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
It feels like for some friendships, right that.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
All you want to do is that you want to
get on there and be like whoe is me?
Speaker 2 (08:30):
You know?
Speaker 3 (08:31):
Sorry doesn't work in this case. Then you got to
find your balance too, right, she got her own issues
a sort. I can't keep theming it on you and
invest in your girl, your work, your life, your roommates.
Got to figure out her own stuff. They say, put
your own oxygen mask on first, So do that, bro,
stay strong.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
You better bring it back to the right now.
Speaker 3 (08:52):
Also too, I would almost say that she also seems
like she's a little you know, self centered. You know,
so she doesn't care about the other person's feelings even
though you know they have their own life.
Speaker 4 (09:03):
No, she probably cares, She just just honestly does not
realize that she keeps a bringing up the same situation
b not getting the results that she wants and be
and see, the friend may not be reacting how she
wants her friends to rect So until the friend gives
her the reaction that she's looking for, she's going to
keep bringing up the situation. Whereas if the friend is
(09:25):
really truthfully over it, tired and don't want to hear it,
like I said, have that final conversation. Look, I'll let
you say whatever you want to say event and I
will get it out. I'll give you and then I'm
done with it.
Speaker 3 (09:35):
But don't keep repeating it over and over and over
again every single conversation that we have.
Speaker 4 (09:40):
You want to go repeat it to somebody, Go write
it into a podcast and way question.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
Maybe maybe you'll get a difference. So I don't know, right,
is this something to be said about me? I don't know.
Speaker 4 (09:55):
See you didn't, they didn't write into you. You just
having to find this now.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
The same story as over and over again too.
Speaker 4 (10:04):
So yeah, yeah, yeah, you know if they you know
what asks the Joe Velocity show, Hey, what do you
think of the situation? Yeah, this is what I'm telling you,
and this is where I think you should stand on it.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
And that's let that be that.
Speaker 3 (10:21):
It's right right, Let's go ahead and we will move
on to the second story. And the second story is
going to be am I the asshole for being a
dick to door the door salesman?
Speaker 4 (10:37):
No, of course we're gonna have to hear it out.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
But don't bring your Kirby over. You know, I don't
want to see.
Speaker 4 (10:44):
It on free whatever to the story.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
Because if you get my door, you know, you know.
Speaker 4 (10:52):
First of all, who's showing up at the door unannounced
these days?
Speaker 2 (10:56):
You'd be surprised.
Speaker 3 (10:57):
I still get those you know door the oation.
Speaker 4 (11:02):
You know who still shows up, and then too if
you shut up at my door unexpected, baby, it don't
make a difference.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
I'm probably not answering it. That's why we got all
the ring doorbells and everything.
Speaker 4 (11:12):
Like that, so we can actually see who you are
and why yeah my door.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
So literally you press my doorbell, my phone will ring
kind of like it's a call, and then I can
answer it and I can actually see who's on the
camera and I can be like, you know, they'll be like,
are you home? No, even I'm sitting right upstairs.
Speaker 4 (11:31):
You know, if you're selling like girls, scout cookies, the
son on lay, that business called at the door, I
get it when.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
I get like like, i'd be down at one moment.
Give me a second here. But anyways, let me read
the story here. Look, I know everyone has to earn
a living, but I have two small children who need
to sleep and two dogs who freak the fuck out
when the doorbell rings. Plus my wife and I work
shift work myself overy night. Have a sign that says
no solicening please clearly on my front door. Still, these
(12:00):
guys consistently ignore it and ring my doorbell. I've had
my fairy share of times when I've been pretty unpleasant
to them as a result, but today I really lost it.
This guy rang my doorbell, setting off the kids and
the dog, per usual. I go outside and he immediately
starts going into his kins cell shit. I stopped to
ask if he saw the sign, and he says, yeah,
but I saw fall by a weak ass excuse. I
(12:22):
cut him off and said, so you chose to ignore
the sign, and he just kept trying with the cell shit.
I told him, listen, man, I have kids and dogs
and I don't appreciate it when people ignore my sign.
Then he has the audacity to tell me that I
should put that on a sign and put that on
my front door. Basically told him the fuck off and
just went inside. He's clearly surprised how pissed I was,
(12:44):
but I'm so tired of these guys. As a sign note,
I actually had a sign that I explained they had
kids knapping hanging from my door knocker. Waga. Guess what
happened to it? It was broken by the salesperson used
the knocker. It's just like some people are like just
leave me alone. You know, I'm one of those people.
You know, it's like you're get a door unannounced in
(13:07):
your ring. You know, it's like my patience for you
is gonna be very short already there. But if I
can get out of having to talk to you, that's
all the better.
Speaker 4 (13:15):
I mean, the easier way out of this situation is
not the respond to the door at all. I mean,
hopefully they'll go away eventually. Hopefully it's not one of
the continued repeated eyes and don't don't hit me.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
With the I hear you're you're, you're in there. You
don't know.
Speaker 4 (13:32):
I can have the TV on and I cannot be
in here or whatever. You can hear the dogs. That
don't mean I'm in here. So can you please get
away from my door and say if you do not
understand or know what that way I mean? Do I
need to with the definition, with the with the with
the sign you might just.
Speaker 3 (13:49):
Might right now? My problem is with my doorbell. Is
that for me to look at the camera out of
the answer the doorbell. So in this case I figured
it least to at least like an insulum and talk
to them. But the problem is I had also too
is that they'll also like stand like so far away
that I can barely hear them.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
Let's say, maybe make it a game.
Speaker 4 (14:11):
If you have like a like a long lead up
to your door, like a long walkway or something.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
Maybe make it like a game.
Speaker 4 (14:18):
You know, put you no solicitor sign up front, then
maybe like a foot or two away from that one,
hit it with another the definition of no soliciting maybe
about a foot later, though, Is this issue still important
for you to come up on this porch?
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Right?
Speaker 4 (14:36):
If yes, continue, If no, turn around? Okay, now you
step on the porch. Now there's another sign before you
knock on this knocker. I have two children, two dogs
that I cannot keep sleep to save my life. Can
you please, if it is important, turn around anyway?
Speaker 3 (14:58):
Here's a funny one. I had a sign. This is
from the comments here. I signed that said shift workers
sleeping does not knocking big black letters while one knocked
my inferiord husband just came off the plane from a
week of twelve hour nights, got up in boxer shorts,
ripped open the door through the folder that the guy
was holding down the driveway and told him the f off.
My husband is big beard and tattooed and loud problem solved.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Right, sure, anger is the answer all the time.
Speaker 3 (15:27):
Here's some alternative solutions. Somebody else came up with, just
closed the door when their midstens. That'd be funny.
Speaker 4 (15:36):
I mean, open the door. Sorry, I'm not interested in
no matter what they say. Just continue to close the
door and keep it moving.
Speaker 3 (15:45):
Another idea that you had there, I think it would
work with disconnect the doorbell.
Speaker 4 (15:50):
But then see then you forget that you disconnected it,
and right you actually need it for somebody and then
you miss out or whatever that was. So no, you
probably don't want to do that. However, God, people are
just I get it, like, you gotta make your money,
you gotta living. How many people are actually saying yes,
(16:14):
do whatever you're selling?
Speaker 2 (16:15):
Right?
Speaker 4 (16:15):
I would ask you how many people today have said
yes to you? How many?
Speaker 2 (16:20):
Yeah? I think it's a out of how many do
you have left to go? Okay?
Speaker 4 (16:24):
So this one note that I tell you is not
going to hurt anything, correct, all right? Now get away
from my doorpram.
Speaker 3 (16:31):
So usually at my house it's like the energy companies
in the Jehovah's Witnesses.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
Oh are you ready for Jehovah's return. I might be
the way this world is going.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
Right now, leave me a copy of the watch Tire
in my mailbox and I'll throw it away and shred it,
you know whatever. But anyway, it's also too I was
at my mom's house one time and they got to
and she doesn't live on like a normal street you
know that has like parking each side there shoes. She
lives on a road and you know, for a door
to drill saltspre in the show is kind of weird.
(17:01):
But she had one show up and it was a
curvy salesperson and it's just like, oh my god. And
then he went to come inside and do a demonstration.
It's like, well, if you do that, then you're buying
a vacuum, you know. Yeah, right, well yeah, it's just
oh my god.
Speaker 2 (17:21):
You know, it's just really that's all I say.
Speaker 3 (17:26):
But anyways, guess what. We come up to our break times.
So we're gonna go ahead here and we're gonna take
a break and we'll be right back with more than
the jewe Veilosky Show.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
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Speaker 5 (18:04):
We are joe velocity Fm.
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Speaker 3 (18:49):
Com and so welcome back to the tube lussy show.
Go ahead and move on to our third story. Am
I the asshole for refusing the trouble an hour to
feed my friend's cat? Oh yeah, anyways, the cat.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
There you go.
Speaker 3 (19:21):
Anyways, I twenty seven female, recently agreed to take care
of my friend's cat while she was away traveling for
a few days. We're not really close friends, but she
asked me because her apartment is close to my work
and I live an hour away from the office. From
last Wednesday, the Saturday morning, I stayed at her place
for a cat sitting, and I was happy to help
because it reduced to commute for me and it's not
much work to take care of a cat. She was
(19:44):
supposed to be back Saturday night, and I left enough
food for the day for the cat. As I was
leaving around noon, around six pm, I was having dinner
at friends at a restaurant back in my city. My
friend called me to tell me that her flight had
been canceled and that they rebooked our flight, so the
show riv Sunday noon instead of Saturday night. She asked
me if I could come back to her apartment to
feed the cat, as I'm the only one with this
(20:06):
spare key to the apartment. I told her, I'm in
the middle of dinner. We're supposed to be going to
a party afterwards. Nothing bad will happen with the cat.
She skips the meal or two until tomorrow morning at noon,
so I can't drop everything now and travel two hours
back and forth to feed the cat. I did offer
if for whatever reason, our flight it's further delayed, then
it will come on Sunday to feed the cat. Then
(20:28):
she told me she can't believe I would let a poor,
innocent animals starve and suffer just to be able to
party and enjoy myself. She said this is animal abuse
and she will have to report me. She hung up
on me, and then she sent me a series of
text that switches from begging for me to get to
her apartment the curse to me that I'm a cruel
animal abuser. I ignored our messages, and today I gave her
(20:49):
the key to a common friend so she can get
the keyback, as I don't feel comftable talking to her
anymore unless she reaches out with an apology. A part
of me does feel bad about what happened, though maybe
she was just paranoid about our cat suffering. So what
do you think? Am I the asshold for refusing the trouble?
When are the feeder cat in the situation?
Speaker 2 (21:08):
No? Not at all.
Speaker 3 (21:10):
No, No, the cat's not going to start number one.
You know, it's going maybe a half a day offtfood. Yeah,
it kind of sucks a little bit there that the
cat maybe maybe a little angry.
Speaker 4 (21:20):
They'll be a little angry, right, gotta be a little
angry when you, you know, see you again.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
But yeah, no, I think you did the right thing.
I'll go and check on it.
Speaker 4 (21:30):
If you're going to be late again, I have plans unfortunately. Yeah,
and I'm not going out of my way now. If
by some chance of my plans direct me in that direction,
sure I'll go over and have no problem.
Speaker 3 (21:48):
I kind of find it funny that, you know, she
was like, oh, you're an animal abuser.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
You know, I'm going to report you.
Speaker 3 (21:52):
It's like paued g you know, thanks for you know,
thanks for the opportunity to let me babysit your cat.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
You know, away report me. Yeah, I will never do
it m thing for you ever.
Speaker 4 (22:05):
Get your cat will also be gone because you have
left the cat, right, It's fine. I don't care.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
So I think the comments kind of agree with us. Sarah. Yeah,
she left enough food for the rest of the day.
Speaker 3 (22:19):
The cat is really only missing one meal, and the
friend could put food out when she gets home at noon,
so more no more than one missed meal. It's not ideal,
but the cat will be okay. Yeah, and then also too.
Another one was like, have you ever owned a cat?
Speaker 2 (22:33):
They don't eat like dogs.
Speaker 3 (22:34):
They even they are hungry, then sleep most of the
day and if op the original poster left enough food
that tied them over for an actual meal, I guarantee
that cat wasn't going to go hungry. Well, my cat
stupidly got into the front coat closet as we were
leaving to go two seats over to help my early father.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
In law with cleaning his house.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
We didn't see her sneaking there, so we shut the
door and went our merry way. We got back fifteen
hours later and only one cat came out for dinner.
We had a time or go off mid day for them.
After a bunch of searching, we found her in the
closets sleeping perfectly fine and happy, not starving. The house
rules now we have both cast in the sight before
(23:12):
we leave the house. Cats are pretty sturdy and generally
not as glutting us as dogs. That's the thing I
do like about cats. So it's just kind of like,
you know that they're pretty easy to take care of.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
You know. There's something we'll go with that.
Speaker 3 (23:25):
What are you? Are you a dog person or a
cat person? In theory, I'm a cat person, as am
I as am I because it's like, literally, you show
you want to be a dog person. It depends on
the breed of dog. I think for me, I don't
know what kind of dogs?
Speaker 2 (23:45):
Do you like? Small ones, medium? No, large ones see
al Kusky's.
Speaker 3 (23:52):
I love the way they look, but the promise there
they are a lot of work.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
You know. Ones that aren't so aggressive. Yeah, I do
not like aggressive dogs.
Speaker 3 (23:59):
But that dog was gonna just start barking at me,
which I think happens with small dogs. Sometimes I think
I want me a a poodle.
Speaker 4 (24:10):
What is that? The little curly hair brown and the
labor poodles?
Speaker 2 (24:14):
Whoever? Labradoodle?
Speaker 3 (24:16):
Okay, whatever's that's a little cute and you want a
big fluffy dog.
Speaker 4 (24:23):
O small, medium inside okay, nothing that I can still
kind of pick up if I need to, but don't
want to.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
Exactly.
Speaker 3 (24:34):
You know, It's just I think it depends on the
relationship that I'm in there.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
You know.
Speaker 3 (24:37):
It's just kind of like, you know, I don't have
pets right now, and I enjoy that fact because I
can permit you to go anywhere and do whatever I want
and don't have to worry.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
About them, you know.
Speaker 3 (24:45):
But yeah, if if I was to get a pet,
I would get a cat, you know. But talking about
how sturdy cats are. The third comment where when my
sister was a baby, she would carry the cat around
in her walker. My mom had to take a toll
out to my dad on a rig in the middle
of the desert. She grabbed a bottle from the fridge.
My sister placed the cat in the fridge.
Speaker 2 (25:09):
In the fridge.
Speaker 3 (25:10):
Several hours later came my mom came home and opened
the fridge. The cat yawns and stretches and jumps out. So, yeah,
I think I think it was pretty damn resilian, you know.
And I agree, Yeah, It's like, I don't think you're
going to, you know, invertly kill the thing.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
You know.
Speaker 3 (25:29):
I think they're actually probably easier than raised than babies
and dogs, you know. Yeah, right, So in this case, then, yeah,
so Poster is definitely not the asshole in this case.
And so, believe it or not, we've actually come to
the last story of the show, which is our moment
(25:52):
of conclusion. Am I the asshole for not wanting my
girlfriend that go the Gay Pride?
Speaker 2 (26:01):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (26:03):
Well yeah that is actually yeah. I'll still read the
story though, Yeah, but yeah, definitely an asshole there, I would.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
Agree with you.
Speaker 3 (26:12):
About an hour ago, I had a full blown argument
with my girlfriend regarding Pride and other LGBT community events.
I guess I should start by saying I am by
no means homophobic, no homo. I appreciate everyone's right to
behev or unapologetically. When I first met my girlfriend, she
just got to have a five year relationship with a
female she identified as gay, but when she met me,
(26:34):
in her words, I've always been open minded, and if
I fancy a girl, I fancy a girl. If I
fancy a guy, I fancy a guy. Just so happens.
I've never fancied a guy before you. We've been together
three years now, in love together gently, We're really happy,
and I feel blessed to be with such an easy
going and kind hearted girl. Every year she goes to
(26:55):
gay private friends, most of which are gay, and if
you are straight, this year she wants to go again.
The thing is, I have an issue with this because
she is in a head of a relationship, she is
not dating women when she goes to Pride. I see
it as erasing her relationship, enacting as that she was
still gay. She had a breakdown I mentioned, which is
(27:15):
completely out of character. She said when she was with
the girl, she was not castled by the straight community,
and now she's in a head of a relationship, she's
not fully accepted by the LGBT community.
Speaker 2 (27:26):
She says it's.
Speaker 3 (27:27):
One time a year where she can express her pride
in being part of a community that has been through
so much. But I can't understand her need to be
there when at present she is not part of the community.
She's very passionate about the cause and says that she
will always support Pride and still feels a part of
the LGBT community. She says she isn't straight just because
(27:47):
she's with a guy that she can still be by,
and therefore wants to continue to support other people who
are in the LGBT community. I told her I don't
like her going to Pride as if she's gay, being
around gay females who will assume she's gay when she
comes home the straight relationship. I told her, you can't
expect the privileges of a straight relationship, but also the
(28:08):
LGBT community at the same time. She did not take
this well. She told me that she couldn't see a
future with me if I'm forever going to erase her
sexuality and make her be stract to protect my insecurities.
She also says that she's still tracked the females and therefore
still buy but in my opinion, she isn't gay until
she's in a gay relationship. Maybe I'm wrong, but imagine
(28:29):
being a female plus female relationship, but you're offering in
the straight parts and straight pride events, it's the same thing. Well,
I want to stop this for a second. I don't
think there's such a thing as a straight product it.
I think they try to have one in Idaho and
there was like maybe like fifteen people there. But anyways,
(28:50):
it goes on and says she's stormed out and hasn't
been home since an hour ago. I'm wondering if the
asshole for feeling like this, I'll sup we're gay pride
by finding her fault that my girlfriend wants to excess
such communities. They edited the post to say maybe it's
a cultural thing.
Speaker 2 (29:06):
Arabic.
Speaker 3 (29:07):
It was hurting us coming to terms with her being by.
And this is just another concern I see to most
people's no issue, but the means disrespectful or partners to
entertain others, especially if others are the same sex. If
people we see here there, I will be seen as
a full my girlfriend at pride event covered in rainbows
with a lot of gay girls. She's embarrassing me and
(29:27):
has no care for this. That's what makes me uncomfortable. Well,
so you don't need to be bar heard in.
Speaker 2 (29:34):
Is that it? Oh god, yeah, sir, you are.
Speaker 4 (29:42):
Quite yeah, and not like to be mean or anything
like that. But whether she's with you or not, she's
always going to be somewhat gay or whatever. Whatever she
claims gay. She's by, you know, she's whatever. If bye
(30:02):
is the time she's going by, she will always be by,
regardless of if she is with you and y'all are together,
or if she's with a woman. It does not make
a difference. Secondly, when you said something to the effect
of her being gay and going in the straight bars
or something like that, that happens all the time.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
Baby.
Speaker 4 (30:24):
The lesbians go to straight bars more than the gays do.
Because what I mean, that's all.
Speaker 3 (30:30):
The name there's like, they're just a handful of lesbian
bars left United.
Speaker 4 (30:34):
States, right, correct. So if she wants to go out
and have drinks, she's gonna go wherever there is. It's
nine times out of ten going to be somewhere straight
before it's somewhere gay.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
It's one time a year for her.
Speaker 4 (30:49):
If this is the one time and every other time
she's still with you the rest of the year. Let
the lady go out and have fun. How about you
go with her? It's fine, Yeah, you can be straight
at gay Pride. That would show more of your support
and solidarity than you allowing her to go. You should
maybe go and see what it's like with her there.
(31:11):
You don't know how she's going to react. Not everybody
is doing what you think they're doing at Pride, because.
Speaker 3 (31:17):
I'm sure I think people have a tendency to over
sexualize this houln Tar thing. It's kind of like and
the what they're just pretty much walking around and talking,
you know, and drinking.
Speaker 4 (31:25):
And thinking that because everyone is everyone at Pride is gay,
which everyone at Pride is not new You're thinking that
everyone is a Pride that's gay, everyone that probably wants everybody.
So she's going to be persuaded to be with a
woman just by being around other women. That's not how
that goes. I need these straits to realize that if
(31:47):
somebody the words that are coming out of people's mouths,
in theory, you are to believe them until told otherwise.
Speaker 2 (31:57):
Right, if this lady tells.
Speaker 4 (32:00):
She's bisexual, but she is definitely in a committed relationship
with you, which to the outside will would make it
look like a straight relationship. However, it would be in
theory a queer relationship because she's by you're straight.
Speaker 2 (32:14):
You're dating the queer one now, not the other way around.
Speaker 4 (32:18):
So, like, you just don't have too many of these
legs that you think to stand on in this situation.
And I really, really, really really just find a lot
of the things that you said.
Speaker 3 (32:31):
And this is quite problematic, and like if he was so,
If he was so, you know, like, you know, I
have no problem whatsoever there, you know, it's kind of
and then has a problem with her. Yeah, it's kind
of curing a hypocrite, you know. The comments. Yeah, they
prey told him that he's an asshole. Someone kind of said,
(32:54):
I'm straight and been the pride.
Speaker 2 (32:56):
Get over yourself.
Speaker 3 (32:59):
The second one is before coming with her, about how
embarrassed you are about her. She deserves and that someone
is supposed to he loves her with shame her being
part of the identity. She had any self respect, she
would leave you. Next one goes, you're the asshole. You're
also kind of dumb. Your girlfriend is bisexual. She likes
men and women. That doesn't mean that she needs both
or gets the craving for one, or switches between liking
(33:21):
men or women. It's like, do you like girls with
brown hair? Do you like girls with blonde hair? If
he did it a blonde, that doesn't mean you're suddening
a man who hates brunettes. Your girlfriend is by even
if she has never had sex with a woman for
us of her life, that doesn't change that fact. Apologize
your girlfriend, explaining where you're coming from, but not in
a way that tries to argue that you're not a dumbass.
(33:42):
And then the final one, in which I think was
absolutely perfect, was you're the asshole. Why don't you just
cut out the middleman and lock her up in her
room so then we can even look at her in
a way there, fragile ego can't handle I.
Speaker 4 (33:53):
Mean, yeah, yeah, that's what it is coming down to
you because you just don't understand. You don't understand the culture,
you don't understand what she's going through. You claim you're
an ally and allies are supposed to be okay with it,
but clearly you still are not right. Yeah, in some way,
(34:14):
shape or home, you aren't as open as you think
you are. And maybe you should go and take a
what Michael say, take a look at that man in
the mirror right, look at him a little bit more
and figure out.
Speaker 3 (34:29):
I think they really kneiled it on the head there
that Yeah, he has a fragile ego.
Speaker 2 (34:34):
And that's that.
Speaker 3 (34:37):
So anyways, believe or not, we've come to the end
of the first episode. So thank you so much here
for being with me. Hickem. I appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (34:46):
Yup, no problem, Thanks for having me. You're welcome in.
Speaker 3 (34:50):
Thanks for checking out the Jablosis Show.
Speaker 2 (34:54):
We hope you enjoyed the first show.
Speaker 3 (34:56):
Make sure to subscribe to us in your favorite podcast
up so don't miss a episode. New episodes drop every Monday.
Franccess to our websites. Visit us at Joe Velocity dot com.
Thanks for listening and we'll see you next week.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
Have a good one.
Lowering the bar, one hot take at a time. This
is the Joe Velocity Show.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
And welcome to the Joe Velossy Show.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
This is the first episode, and I am here with
my first guest that came.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
You know, I'm surprised.
Speaker 3 (00:33):
I didn't have that sound effect when I was doing
my old podcast and now I have it with this
one here.
Speaker 4 (00:37):
So it's because you don't want to hear my Jamaican
air there not great.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Okay, I'm with yourself. Well, I al say this, well,
by the.
Speaker 4 (00:57):
Sounds of the titles of these story that we're gonna
be here, you might be bouncing a lot of things.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
Right exactly that we're going. Yeah. Anyways, yeah, so basically
this is our first show, so I want to give
you an idea of what the episodes are going to
be like. Basically, for this episode, we're going to talk
about four different stories from the subreddit am I the
Asshole and talk about them, give her takes on them
(01:27):
and everything there. So yeah, yeah, so in case, then
let's go ahead here and let's get started with the
first story. Here we go, am I the Asshover being
tired of my friend always requiring my attention. Anyways, we're
in our early twenties and have been friends for thirteen years,
(01:48):
with a two year gap in between. She's one of
my best friends. When my ex and I broke up
last year, we reconnected and I'd been really close ever since.
One of the reasons we bonded again so quickly was
that she had also gone through her breakup. We shared
the experience of heartbreaking and help each other heal. We
went for walks, had dinners, did activities together, and tried
(02:08):
to forget the pain. Eventually, it moved on and found happiness.
For the past two and a half months, I've been
in a new relationship and I'm happier than ever. She,
on the other hand, went back to her ex multiple times,
each time telling me how sick she was of him,
how much she hated his lives, and how she was
finally done, only to get back together with him again.
(02:29):
I got tired of repeating myself, telling her to block him,
move on, that she deserved better ife like talking to
a wall. This cycle has been going on for about
one and a half years. Around two weeks ago, she
saw him at a festival with some girls and a
friend that he had claimed he wasn't in contact with anymore.
That seemed to be the final straw. She called me
(02:50):
at two am, and I stayed on the film with
her for half an hour, talking her down. Now, we
used to hang out all the time, but she's training
to be a police officer and is only home one weekends.
I recently started a new job with long hours, and
when I'm home, I just want to eat, spend a
little time with my girlfriend, work out, and sleep.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
That's all I have time for.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
When the weekend finally comes, I try to see all
my friends and catch up on things I couldn't do
during the week laundry, cleaning, errands. There's just not much
time left, no more spontaneous activities, no more endless hangouts
like before. I'm trying to fit everything and everyone into
just two days, and it's exhausting. But because she's heartbroken,
she now expects more of my time and attention. She's
(03:33):
been complaining that I'm not there for her, that I
keep letting her down just because I now have other commitments.
I don't work from home anymore, I'm a partner, I
have other friends, and I barely have any time for myself.
Today she told me that I'm making her priority, and
she's putting in all the effort, and like, yeah, of
course she's not always my number one priority. I'm way
(03:53):
twelve hours a day, I drive at least ten hours
a week. I'm exhausted, but I do try. Last weekend
we hung out on Friday and sat all day. There hasn't
been a single weekend where we didn't see each other
because I make the effort. Still, she says I'm not
there for her when she needs me, But for the
last one and a half years, I've been listening, supporting,
and telling her the same things over and over and over.
(04:14):
She can moved on by now. I found somebody new
but happy, but instead she keeps going back to him.
And now she's making me feel good. If you're not
doing enough, even though I'm under constant stress, I'm trying
so hard. Am I really the asshole here? What do
you think?
Speaker 2 (04:32):
Wow?
Speaker 4 (04:34):
I got a headache just thinking about everything she said,
what they said him. I don't know, so off top,
there's a lot going on. Just yeah, you got your
own life. She has her own life. I've been the
kind of friends that when y'all go through things together,
I guess you've been each other's shoulder to crying on,
(04:57):
listening ear and whatnot. That's all cool, great now that
you're going through something that is probably bringing the mood
of like the friend group now because you're going through
a breakup or whatever, you do require probably more attention
than what I can give to you. Right However, if
(05:20):
I'm not actually expressing this to said friend, they don't know.
They just think that I'm just from them looking at
me looks like I'm just too busy for them, when no,
I just don't have the bandwidth to deal with your
situation right now because I now have a new situation.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Where I have a new job. I'm no longer working
from home.
Speaker 4 (05:44):
Like she said, I am now less active than I
want to be. However, I'm doing this because I have to,
and I will make time for you on the weekends
when I can, but it's just not now going to
be every weekend right now.
Speaker 3 (05:59):
It sounds like she needs to therapy, to be honest
with you, there is what it sounds like to me. Yeah, yeah,
it sounds like she needs a therapist to talk to,
you know, because I feel like you know, and I've
had friends like that there before. Basically, get on the
phone it's all about them their issues, and it's like
they don't want to do anything to make their situation better.
They just simply went to just keep repeating the same
(06:19):
thing over and over and over again, expecting different results.
I think that's like the definition of insanity, right, sure, one.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
Of them, you know.
Speaker 4 (06:28):
Yeah, No, it's just a lot of I think misplaced
feelings here, but nothing that a conversation shouldn't help. However,
who wants to have that conversation.
Speaker 3 (06:42):
Yeah, but it's almost like they keep having the same
conversation over and over and over again about this accent
that she needs to move on from him, but she
still keeps going back.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
This is what you do.
Speaker 4 (06:53):
You have one final conversation with her, You say, look, hey,
friend like you, I love you. That's what we want
to do. Though, I'm gonna listen to you one last
time about everything that you need to get off your
chest about said person. If for whatever reason, after we
go past this one time and you still cannot let
it go, baby, you're gonna need to find you a
(07:13):
new friend to deal with that. Because I have reached
all limits. I have too many things going on in
my own personal life. Now that has changed that now
I have to prioritize aid by well being to my
home life and be the stress that I don't want
(07:34):
to have by listening to your story. So here, you know,
you got one chance let it all out right now
after this moment, we are done with said situation. If
you cannot be done, just no, I will be there
for you in every other way possible. With this situation,
I no longer.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
Can, right, I think?
Speaker 3 (07:53):
Yeah, I agree completely, And the comments seem to spell
out the same thing here. One of them said, I
used to have a friend like this. We don't talk anymore.
The best thing that's ever happened to me. Because someone
who has the same issue as week over week isn't
going to change, doesn't want to, and is addicted to
her pain. Tell her you're sorry, but you need to
focus on yourself for now. Take a break for a
(08:13):
couple of weekends from her. See how you feel. Yeah,
also too, man, You're not the asshole here. Friendship's a
two way street, not a twenty four to seven hotline.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
It feels like for some friendships, right that.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
All you want to do is that you want to
get on there and be like whoe is me?
Speaker 2 (08:30):
You know?
Speaker 3 (08:31):
Sorry doesn't work in this case. Then you got to
find your balance too, right, she got her own issues
a sort. I can't keep theming it on you and
invest in your girl, your work, your life, your roommates.
Got to figure out her own stuff. They say, put
your own oxygen mask on first, So do that, bro,
stay strong.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
You better bring it back to the right now.
Speaker 3 (08:52):
Also too, I would almost say that she also seems
like she's a little you know, self centered. You know,
so she doesn't care about the other person's feelings even
though you know they have their own life.
Speaker 4 (09:03):
No, she probably cares, She just just honestly does not
realize that she keeps a bringing up the same situation
b not getting the results that she wants and be
and see, the friend may not be reacting how she
wants her friends to rect So until the friend gives
her the reaction that she's looking for, she's going to
keep bringing up the situation. Whereas if the friend is
(09:25):
really truthfully over it, tired and don't want to hear it,
like I said, have that final conversation. Look, I'll let
you say whatever you want to say event and I
will get it out. I'll give you and then I'm
done with it.
Speaker 3 (09:35):
But don't keep repeating it over and over and over
again every single conversation that we have.
Speaker 4 (09:40):
You want to go repeat it to somebody, Go write
it into a podcast and way question.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
Maybe maybe you'll get a difference. So I don't know, right,
is this something to be said about me? I don't know.
Speaker 4 (09:55):
See you didn't, they didn't write into you. You just
having to find this now.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
The same story as over and over again too.
Speaker 4 (10:04):
So yeah, yeah, yeah, you know if they you know
what asks the Joe Velocity show, Hey, what do you
think of the situation? Yeah, this is what I'm telling you,
and this is where I think you should stand on it.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
And that's let that be that.
Speaker 3 (10:21):
It's right right, Let's go ahead and we will move
on to the second story. And the second story is
going to be am I the asshole for being a
dick to door the door salesman?
Speaker 4 (10:37):
No, of course we're gonna have to hear it out.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
But don't bring your Kirby over. You know, I don't
want to see.
Speaker 4 (10:44):
It on free whatever to the story.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
Because if you get my door, you know, you know.
Speaker 4 (10:52):
First of all, who's showing up at the door unannounced
these days?
Speaker 2 (10:56):
You'd be surprised.
Speaker 3 (10:57):
I still get those you know door the oation.
Speaker 4 (11:02):
You know who still shows up, and then too if
you shut up at my door unexpected, baby, it don't
make a difference.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
I'm probably not answering it. That's why we got all
the ring doorbells and everything.
Speaker 4 (11:12):
Like that, so we can actually see who you are
and why yeah my door.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
So literally you press my doorbell, my phone will ring
kind of like it's a call, and then I can
answer it and I can actually see who's on the
camera and I can be like, you know, they'll be like,
are you home? No, even I'm sitting right upstairs.
Speaker 4 (11:31):
You know, if you're selling like girls, scout cookies, the
son on lay, that business called at the door, I
get it when.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
I get like like, i'd be down at one moment.
Give me a second here. But anyways, let me read
the story here. Look, I know everyone has to earn
a living, but I have two small children who need
to sleep and two dogs who freak the fuck out
when the doorbell rings. Plus my wife and I work
shift work myself overy night. Have a sign that says
no solicening please clearly on my front door. Still, these
(12:00):
guys consistently ignore it and ring my doorbell. I've had
my fairy share of times when I've been pretty unpleasant
to them as a result, but today I really lost it.
This guy rang my doorbell, setting off the kids and
the dog, per usual. I go outside and he immediately
starts going into his kins cell shit. I stopped to
ask if he saw the sign, and he says, yeah,
but I saw fall by a weak ass excuse. I
(12:22):
cut him off and said, so you chose to ignore
the sign, and he just kept trying with the cell shit.
I told him, listen, man, I have kids and dogs
and I don't appreciate it when people ignore my sign.
Then he has the audacity to tell me that I
should put that on a sign and put that on
my front door. Basically told him the fuck off and
just went inside. He's clearly surprised how pissed I was,
(12:44):
but I'm so tired of these guys. As a sign note,
I actually had a sign that I explained they had
kids knapping hanging from my door knocker. Waga. Guess what
happened to it? It was broken by the salesperson used
the knocker. It's just like some people are like just
leave me alone. You know, I'm one of those people.
You know, it's like you're get a door unannounced in
(13:07):
your ring. You know, it's like my patience for you
is gonna be very short already there. But if I
can get out of having to talk to you, that's
all the better.
Speaker 4 (13:15):
I mean, the easier way out of this situation is
not the respond to the door at all. I mean,
hopefully they'll go away eventually. Hopefully it's not one of
the continued repeated eyes and don't don't hit me.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
With the I hear you're you're, you're in there. You
don't know.
Speaker 4 (13:32):
I can have the TV on and I cannot be
in here or whatever. You can hear the dogs. That
don't mean I'm in here. So can you please get
away from my door and say if you do not
understand or know what that way I mean? Do I
need to with the definition, with the with the with
the sign you might just.
Speaker 3 (13:49):
Might right now? My problem is with my doorbell. Is
that for me to look at the camera out of
the answer the doorbell. So in this case I figured
it least to at least like an insulum and talk
to them. But the problem is I had also too
is that they'll also like stand like so far away
that I can barely hear them.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
Let's say, maybe make it a game.
Speaker 4 (14:11):
If you have like a like a long lead up
to your door, like a long walkway or something.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
Maybe make it like a game.
Speaker 4 (14:18):
You know, put you no solicitor sign up front, then
maybe like a foot or two away from that one,
hit it with another the definition of no soliciting maybe
about a foot later, though, Is this issue still important
for you to come up on this porch?
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Right?
Speaker 4 (14:36):
If yes, continue, If no, turn around? Okay, now you
step on the porch. Now there's another sign before you
knock on this knocker. I have two children, two dogs
that I cannot keep sleep to save my life. Can
you please, if it is important, turn around anyway?
Speaker 3 (14:58):
Here's a funny one. I had a sign. This is
from the comments here. I signed that said shift workers
sleeping does not knocking big black letters while one knocked
my inferiord husband just came off the plane from a
week of twelve hour nights, got up in boxer shorts,
ripped open the door through the folder that the guy
was holding down the driveway and told him the f off.
My husband is big beard and tattooed and loud problem solved.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Right, sure, anger is the answer all the time.
Speaker 3 (15:27):
Here's some alternative solutions. Somebody else came up with, just
closed the door when their midstens. That'd be funny.
Speaker 4 (15:36):
I mean, open the door. Sorry, I'm not interested in
no matter what they say. Just continue to close the
door and keep it moving.
Speaker 3 (15:45):
Another idea that you had there, I think it would
work with disconnect the doorbell.
Speaker 4 (15:50):
But then see then you forget that you disconnected it,
and right you actually need it for somebody and then
you miss out or whatever that was. So no, you
probably don't want to do that. However, God, people are
just I get it, like, you gotta make your money,
you gotta living. How many people are actually saying yes,
(16:14):
do whatever you're selling?
Speaker 2 (16:15):
Right?
Speaker 4 (16:15):
I would ask you how many people today have said
yes to you? How many?
Speaker 2 (16:20):
Yeah? I think it's a out of how many do
you have left to go? Okay?
Speaker 4 (16:24):
So this one note that I tell you is not
going to hurt anything, correct, all right? Now get away
from my doorpram.
Speaker 3 (16:31):
So usually at my house it's like the energy companies
in the Jehovah's Witnesses.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
Oh are you ready for Jehovah's return. I might be
the way this world is going.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
Right now, leave me a copy of the watch Tire
in my mailbox and I'll throw it away and shred it,
you know whatever. But anyway, it's also too I was
at my mom's house one time and they got to
and she doesn't live on like a normal street you
know that has like parking each side there shoes. She
lives on a road and you know, for a door
to drill saltspre in the show is kind of weird.
(17:01):
But she had one show up and it was a
curvy salesperson and it's just like, oh my god. And
then he went to come inside and do a demonstration.
It's like, well, if you do that, then you're buying
a vacuum, you know. Yeah, right, well yeah, it's just
oh my god.
Speaker 2 (17:21):
You know, it's just really that's all I say.
Speaker 3 (17:26):
But anyways, guess what. We come up to our break times.
So we're gonna go ahead here and we're gonna take
a break and we'll be right back with more than
the jewe Veilosky Show.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
After this, you could listen to a station that plays
the same six songs on repeat, or you could try
joe velocity Fm. The home of rock, pop, alternative and
new wave, curated by someone who doesn't hate you. No
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talk radio, no wacky morning crew, just NonStop music and
unapologetic attitude.
Speaker 5 (18:04):
We are joe velocity Fm.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
Always in motion like your.
Speaker 5 (18:08):
Caffeine withdrawal, but way more fun. Click stream regret nothing,
joe velocity fm dot com.
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by going to voxonyx dot com. That's voxo nx dot.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
Com and so welcome back to the tube lussy show.
Go ahead and move on to our third story. Am
I the asshole for refusing the trouble an hour to
feed my friend's cat? Oh yeah, anyways, the cat.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
There you go.
Speaker 3 (19:21):
Anyways, I twenty seven female, recently agreed to take care
of my friend's cat while she was away traveling for
a few days. We're not really close friends, but she
asked me because her apartment is close to my work
and I live an hour away from the office. From
last Wednesday, the Saturday morning, I stayed at her place
for a cat sitting, and I was happy to help
because it reduced to commute for me and it's not
much work to take care of a cat. She was
(19:44):
supposed to be back Saturday night, and I left enough
food for the day for the cat. As I was
leaving around noon, around six pm, I was having dinner
at friends at a restaurant back in my city. My
friend called me to tell me that her flight had
been canceled and that they rebooked our flight, so the
show riv Sunday noon instead of Saturday night. She asked
me if I could come back to her apartment to
feed the cat, as I'm the only one with this
(20:06):
spare key to the apartment. I told her, I'm in
the middle of dinner. We're supposed to be going to
a party afterwards. Nothing bad will happen with the cat.
She skips the meal or two until tomorrow morning at noon,
so I can't drop everything now and travel two hours
back and forth to feed the cat. I did offer
if for whatever reason, our flight it's further delayed, then
it will come on Sunday to feed the cat. Then
(20:28):
she told me she can't believe I would let a poor,
innocent animals starve and suffer just to be able to
party and enjoy myself. She said this is animal abuse
and she will have to report me. She hung up
on me, and then she sent me a series of
text that switches from begging for me to get to
her apartment the curse to me that I'm a cruel
animal abuser. I ignored our messages, and today I gave her
(20:49):
the key to a common friend so she can get
the keyback, as I don't feel comftable talking to her
anymore unless she reaches out with an apology. A part
of me does feel bad about what happened, though maybe
she was just paranoid about our cat suffering. So what
do you think? Am I the asshold for refusing the trouble?
When are the feeder cat in the situation?
Speaker 2 (21:08):
No? Not at all.
Speaker 3 (21:10):
No, No, the cat's not going to start number one.
You know, it's going maybe a half a day offtfood. Yeah,
it kind of sucks a little bit there that the
cat maybe maybe a little angry.
Speaker 4 (21:20):
They'll be a little angry, right, gotta be a little
angry when you, you know, see you again.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
But yeah, no, I think you did the right thing.
I'll go and check on it.
Speaker 4 (21:30):
If you're going to be late again, I have plans unfortunately. Yeah,
and I'm not going out of my way now. If
by some chance of my plans direct me in that direction,
sure I'll go over and have no problem.
Speaker 3 (21:48):
I kind of find it funny that, you know, she
was like, oh, you're an animal abuser.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
You know, I'm going to report you.
Speaker 3 (21:52):
It's like paued g you know, thanks for you know,
thanks for the opportunity to let me babysit your cat.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
You know, away report me. Yeah, I will never do
it m thing for you ever.
Speaker 4 (22:05):
Get your cat will also be gone because you have
left the cat, right, It's fine. I don't care.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
So I think the comments kind of agree with us. Sarah. Yeah,
she left enough food for the rest of the day.
Speaker 3 (22:19):
The cat is really only missing one meal, and the
friend could put food out when she gets home at noon,
so more no more than one missed meal. It's not ideal,
but the cat will be okay. Yeah, and then also too.
Another one was like, have you ever owned a cat?
Speaker 2 (22:33):
They don't eat like dogs.
Speaker 3 (22:34):
They even they are hungry, then sleep most of the
day and if op the original poster left enough food
that tied them over for an actual meal, I guarantee
that cat wasn't going to go hungry. Well, my cat
stupidly got into the front coat closet as we were
leaving to go two seats over to help my early father.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
In law with cleaning his house.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
We didn't see her sneaking there, so we shut the
door and went our merry way. We got back fifteen
hours later and only one cat came out for dinner.
We had a time or go off mid day for them.
After a bunch of searching, we found her in the
closets sleeping perfectly fine and happy, not starving. The house
rules now we have both cast in the sight before
(23:12):
we leave the house. Cats are pretty sturdy and generally
not as glutting us as dogs. That's the thing I
do like about cats. So it's just kind of like,
you know that they're pretty easy to take care of.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
You know. There's something we'll go with that.
Speaker 3 (23:25):
What are you? Are you a dog person or a
cat person? In theory, I'm a cat person, as am
I as am I because it's like, literally, you show
you want to be a dog person. It depends on
the breed of dog. I think for me, I don't
know what kind of dogs?
Speaker 2 (23:45):
Do you like? Small ones, medium? No, large ones see
al Kusky's.
Speaker 3 (23:52):
I love the way they look, but the promise there
they are a lot of work.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
You know. Ones that aren't so aggressive. Yeah, I do
not like aggressive dogs.
Speaker 3 (23:59):
But that dog was gonna just start barking at me,
which I think happens with small dogs. Sometimes I think
I want me a a poodle.
Speaker 4 (24:10):
What is that? The little curly hair brown and the
labor poodles?
Speaker 2 (24:14):
Whoever? Labradoodle?
Speaker 3 (24:16):
Okay, whatever's that's a little cute and you want a
big fluffy dog.
Speaker 4 (24:23):
O small, medium inside okay, nothing that I can still
kind of pick up if I need to, but don't
want to.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
Exactly.
Speaker 3 (24:34):
You know, It's just I think it depends on the
relationship that I'm in there.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
You know.
Speaker 3 (24:37):
It's just kind of like, you know, I don't have
pets right now, and I enjoy that fact because I
can permit you to go anywhere and do whatever I want
and don't have to worry.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
About them, you know.
Speaker 3 (24:45):
But yeah, if if I was to get a pet,
I would get a cat, you know. But talking about
how sturdy cats are. The third comment where when my
sister was a baby, she would carry the cat around
in her walker. My mom had to take a toll
out to my dad on a rig in the middle
of the desert. She grabbed a bottle from the fridge.
My sister placed the cat in the fridge.
Speaker 2 (25:09):
In the fridge.
Speaker 3 (25:10):
Several hours later came my mom came home and opened
the fridge. The cat yawns and stretches and jumps out. So, yeah,
I think I think it was pretty damn resilian, you know.
And I agree, Yeah, It's like, I don't think you're
going to, you know, invertly kill the thing.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
You know.
Speaker 3 (25:29):
I think they're actually probably easier than raised than babies
and dogs, you know. Yeah, right, So in this case, then, yeah,
so Poster is definitely not the asshole in this case.
And so, believe it or not, we've actually come to
the last story of the show, which is our moment
(25:52):
of conclusion. Am I the asshole for not wanting my
girlfriend that go the Gay Pride?
Speaker 2 (26:01):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (26:03):
Well yeah that is actually yeah. I'll still read the
story though, Yeah, but yeah, definitely an asshole there, I would.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
Agree with you.
Speaker 3 (26:12):
About an hour ago, I had a full blown argument
with my girlfriend regarding Pride and other LGBT community events.
I guess I should start by saying I am by
no means homophobic, no homo. I appreciate everyone's right to
behev or unapologetically. When I first met my girlfriend, she
just got to have a five year relationship with a
female she identified as gay, but when she met me,
(26:34):
in her words, I've always been open minded, and if
I fancy a girl, I fancy a girl. If I
fancy a guy, I fancy a guy. Just so happens.
I've never fancied a guy before you. We've been together
three years now, in love together gently, We're really happy,
and I feel blessed to be with such an easy
going and kind hearted girl. Every year she goes to
(26:55):
gay private friends, most of which are gay, and if
you are straight, this year she wants to go again.
The thing is, I have an issue with this because
she is in a head of a relationship, she is
not dating women when she goes to Pride. I see
it as erasing her relationship, enacting as that she was
still gay. She had a breakdown I mentioned, which is
(27:15):
completely out of character. She said when she was with
the girl, she was not castled by the straight community,
and now she's in a head of a relationship, she's
not fully accepted by the LGBT community.
Speaker 2 (27:26):
She says it's.
Speaker 3 (27:27):
One time a year where she can express her pride
in being part of a community that has been through
so much. But I can't understand her need to be
there when at present she is not part of the community.
She's very passionate about the cause and says that she
will always support Pride and still feels a part of
the LGBT community. She says she isn't straight just because
(27:47):
she's with a guy that she can still be by,
and therefore wants to continue to support other people who
are in the LGBT community. I told her I don't
like her going to Pride as if she's gay, being
around gay females who will assume she's gay when she
comes home the straight relationship. I told her, you can't
expect the privileges of a straight relationship, but also the
(28:08):
LGBT community at the same time. She did not take
this well. She told me that she couldn't see a
future with me if I'm forever going to erase her
sexuality and make her be stract to protect my insecurities.
She also says that she's still tracked the females and therefore
still buy but in my opinion, she isn't gay until
she's in a gay relationship. Maybe I'm wrong, but imagine
(28:29):
being a female plus female relationship, but you're offering in
the straight parts and straight pride events, it's the same thing. Well,
I want to stop this for a second. I don't
think there's such a thing as a straight product it.
I think they try to have one in Idaho and
there was like maybe like fifteen people there. But anyways,
(28:50):
it goes on and says she's stormed out and hasn't
been home since an hour ago. I'm wondering if the
asshole for feeling like this, I'll sup we're gay pride
by finding her fault that my girlfriend wants to excess
such communities. They edited the post to say maybe it's
a cultural thing.
Speaker 2 (29:06):
Arabic.
Speaker 3 (29:07):
It was hurting us coming to terms with her being by.
And this is just another concern I see to most
people's no issue, but the means disrespectful or partners to
entertain others, especially if others are the same sex. If
people we see here there, I will be seen as
a full my girlfriend at pride event covered in rainbows
with a lot of gay girls. She's embarrassing me and
(29:27):
has no care for this. That's what makes me uncomfortable. Well,
so you don't need to be bar heard in.
Speaker 2 (29:34):
Is that it? Oh god, yeah, sir, you are.
Speaker 4 (29:42):
Quite yeah, and not like to be mean or anything
like that. But whether she's with you or not, she's
always going to be somewhat gay or whatever. Whatever she
claims gay. She's by, you know, she's whatever. If bye
(30:02):
is the time she's going by, she will always be by,
regardless of if she is with you and y'all are together,
or if she's with a woman. It does not make
a difference. Secondly, when you said something to the effect
of her being gay and going in the straight bars
or something like that, that happens all the time.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
Baby.
Speaker 4 (30:24):
The lesbians go to straight bars more than the gays do.
Because what I mean, that's all.
Speaker 3 (30:30):
The name there's like, they're just a handful of lesbian
bars left United.
Speaker 4 (30:34):
States, right, correct. So if she wants to go out
and have drinks, she's gonna go wherever there is. It's
nine times out of ten going to be somewhere straight
before it's somewhere gay.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
It's one time a year for her.
Speaker 4 (30:49):
If this is the one time and every other time
she's still with you the rest of the year. Let
the lady go out and have fun. How about you
go with her? It's fine, Yeah, you can be straight
at gay Pride. That would show more of your support
and solidarity than you allowing her to go. You should
maybe go and see what it's like with her there.
(31:11):
You don't know how she's going to react. Not everybody
is doing what you think they're doing at Pride, because.
Speaker 3 (31:17):
I'm sure I think people have a tendency to over
sexualize this houln Tar thing. It's kind of like and
the what they're just pretty much walking around and talking,
you know, and drinking.
Speaker 4 (31:25):
And thinking that because everyone is everyone at Pride is gay,
which everyone at Pride is not new You're thinking that
everyone is a Pride that's gay, everyone that probably wants everybody.
So she's going to be persuaded to be with a
woman just by being around other women. That's not how
that goes. I need these straits to realize that if
(31:47):
somebody the words that are coming out of people's mouths,
in theory, you are to believe them until told otherwise.
Speaker 2 (31:57):
Right, if this lady tells.
Speaker 4 (32:00):
She's bisexual, but she is definitely in a committed relationship
with you, which to the outside will would make it
look like a straight relationship. However, it would be in
theory a queer relationship because she's by you're straight.
Speaker 2 (32:14):
You're dating the queer one now, not the other way around.
Speaker 4 (32:18):
So, like, you just don't have too many of these
legs that you think to stand on in this situation.
And I really, really, really really just find a lot
of the things that you said.
Speaker 3 (32:31):
And this is quite problematic, and like if he was so,
If he was so, you know, like, you know, I
have no problem whatsoever there, you know, it's kind of
and then has a problem with her. Yeah, it's kind
of curing a hypocrite, you know. The comments. Yeah, they
prey told him that he's an asshole. Someone kind of said,
(32:54):
I'm straight and been the pride.
Speaker 2 (32:56):
Get over yourself.
Speaker 3 (32:59):
The second one is before coming with her, about how
embarrassed you are about her. She deserves and that someone
is supposed to he loves her with shame her being
part of the identity. She had any self respect, she
would leave you. Next one goes, you're the asshole. You're
also kind of dumb. Your girlfriend is bisexual. She likes
men and women. That doesn't mean that she needs both
or gets the craving for one, or switches between liking
(33:21):
men or women. It's like, do you like girls with
brown hair? Do you like girls with blonde hair? If
he did it a blonde, that doesn't mean you're suddening
a man who hates brunettes. Your girlfriend is by even
if she has never had sex with a woman for
us of her life, that doesn't change that fact. Apologize
your girlfriend, explaining where you're coming from, but not in
a way that tries to argue that you're not a dumbass.
(33:42):
And then the final one, in which I think was
absolutely perfect, was you're the asshole. Why don't you just
cut out the middleman and lock her up in her
room so then we can even look at her in
a way there, fragile ego can't handle I.
Speaker 4 (33:53):
Mean, yeah, yeah, that's what it is coming down to
you because you just don't understand. You don't understand the culture,
you don't understand what she's going through. You claim you're
an ally and allies are supposed to be okay with it,
but clearly you still are not right. Yeah, in some way,
(34:14):
shape or home, you aren't as open as you think
you are. And maybe you should go and take a
what Michael say, take a look at that man in
the mirror right, look at him a little bit more
and figure out.
Speaker 3 (34:29):
I think they really kneiled it on the head there
that Yeah, he has a fragile ego.
Speaker 2 (34:34):
And that's that.
Speaker 3 (34:37):
So anyways, believe or not, we've come to the end
of the first episode. So thank you so much here
for being with me. Hickem. I appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (34:46):
Yup, no problem, Thanks for having me. You're welcome in.
Speaker 3 (34:50):
Thanks for checking out the Jablosis Show.
Speaker 2 (34:54):
We hope you enjoyed the first show.
Speaker 3 (34:56):
Make sure to subscribe to us in your favorite podcast
up so don't miss a episode. New episodes drop every Monday.
Franccess to our websites. Visit us at Joe Velocity dot com.
Thanks for listening and we'll see you next week.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
Have a good one.
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