September 1, 2025 • 32 mins
(00:00:00) We Read Reddit r/AITA stories: Toxic Partners & Hidden Phones
(00:00:15) Intro/General Discussion
(00:08:18) My FWB no longer wants to have sex with me but wants to remain friends
(00:15:11) AITA for considering ending a 5 year long relationship over how my GF treated me on my birthday?
(00:22:26) I found out my husband had a second phone and now I don’t trust anything
(00:26:05) My husband told me I am lucky he hasn’t cheated
On episode 5 of The Joevelocity Show, Joe is joined by Hubba and we discuss some stories from the r/AITA Subreddit:
• General Discussion
Our conversation begins with lighthearted remarks about in-studio guest audio quality improvements and the challenges of recording in hot weather. Hubba shares their experience with training in Pittsburgh's Strip District, highlighting the area's vibrant community and the growth of the local filmmaking industry. The discussion transitions to personal anecdotes about career paths, including a shift from video to audio work and hands-on carpentry training. Workplace dynamics are explored through stories of supportive training environments and past experiences with challenging colleagues. The narrative also touches on the Joe's decade-long tenure at their current company, their decision to avoid managerial roles, and the balance between professional and personal pursuits. Themes of authenticity, self-identity, and the importance of staying true to oneself are emphasized as keys to success and fulfillment.
• My FWB no longer wants to have sex with me but wants to remain friends.
In the Reddit AITA stories, we begin with a scenario where the poster's FWB decides to cease sexual relations while trying to maintain a friends-without-benefits arrangement, leading to hurt feelings and the eventual dissolution of the friendship. This raises questions about the transactional nature of their bond and the cultural trend of ghosting as a way to end relationships. The discussion expands to the emotional impact of silent treatment and ghosting, highlighting their severity and the importance of respectful communication when ending relationships.
• AITA for considering ending a 5 year long relationship over how my GF treated me on my birthday?
We examine a relationship scenario where one partner's repeated self-centered actions, including dismissive behavior on the other's birthday, reveal a pattern of manipulation and disregard for emotional well-being. Examples such as mishandling a partner's phobia further illustrate the strain caused by a lack of empathy and consideration, emphasizing the need for individuals to prioritize their emotional health and establish boundaries to avoid future heartache in relationships with self-centered partners.
• I found out my husband had a second phone and now I don’t trust anything.
Next is the story of a woman who discovers her husband's hidden second phone, leading to trust issues and speculation about infidelity. The husband's defensive behavior and lack of transparency raise concerns about the foundation of their marriage. Commenters emphasize the difficulty of rebuilding trust after deception and speculate on the implications of the husband's actions.
• And in the Moment of Conclusion, my husband told me I am lucky he hasn’t cheated.
Finally, we discuss another scenario where a woman struggles with intimacy after childbirth, facing her husband's frustration and hurtful comments. This highlights societal pressures on body image and the importance of emotional support in relationships. Efforts to rekindle romance through compliments and flirty behavior are met with mixed responses, underscoring the need for mutual appreciation and understanding. he chapter concludes by reinforcing that fidelity and love should be based on deeper qualities beyond physical appearance, and warns against the consequences of negative behavior in relationships.
Subscribe to The Joevelocity Show in your favorite podcast app so you don’t miss an episode! New episodes drop every Monday.
Need more Joevelocity in your life? Visit joevelocity.com for access to all our sites and content.
(00:00:15) Intro/General Discussion
(00:08:18) My FWB no longer wants to have sex with me but wants to remain friends
(00:15:11) AITA for considering ending a 5 year long relationship over how my GF treated me on my birthday?
(00:22:26) I found out my husband had a second phone and now I don’t trust anything
(00:26:05) My husband told me I am lucky he hasn’t cheated
On episode 5 of The Joevelocity Show, Joe is joined by Hubba and we discuss some stories from the r/AITA Subreddit:
• General Discussion
Our conversation begins with lighthearted remarks about in-studio guest audio quality improvements and the challenges of recording in hot weather. Hubba shares their experience with training in Pittsburgh's Strip District, highlighting the area's vibrant community and the growth of the local filmmaking industry. The discussion transitions to personal anecdotes about career paths, including a shift from video to audio work and hands-on carpentry training. Workplace dynamics are explored through stories of supportive training environments and past experiences with challenging colleagues. The narrative also touches on the Joe's decade-long tenure at their current company, their decision to avoid managerial roles, and the balance between professional and personal pursuits. Themes of authenticity, self-identity, and the importance of staying true to oneself are emphasized as keys to success and fulfillment.
• My FWB no longer wants to have sex with me but wants to remain friends.
In the Reddit AITA stories, we begin with a scenario where the poster's FWB decides to cease sexual relations while trying to maintain a friends-without-benefits arrangement, leading to hurt feelings and the eventual dissolution of the friendship. This raises questions about the transactional nature of their bond and the cultural trend of ghosting as a way to end relationships. The discussion expands to the emotional impact of silent treatment and ghosting, highlighting their severity and the importance of respectful communication when ending relationships.
• AITA for considering ending a 5 year long relationship over how my GF treated me on my birthday?
We examine a relationship scenario where one partner's repeated self-centered actions, including dismissive behavior on the other's birthday, reveal a pattern of manipulation and disregard for emotional well-being. Examples such as mishandling a partner's phobia further illustrate the strain caused by a lack of empathy and consideration, emphasizing the need for individuals to prioritize their emotional health and establish boundaries to avoid future heartache in relationships with self-centered partners.
• I found out my husband had a second phone and now I don’t trust anything.
Next is the story of a woman who discovers her husband's hidden second phone, leading to trust issues and speculation about infidelity. The husband's defensive behavior and lack of transparency raise concerns about the foundation of their marriage. Commenters emphasize the difficulty of rebuilding trust after deception and speculate on the implications of the husband's actions.
• And in the Moment of Conclusion, my husband told me I am lucky he hasn’t cheated.
Finally, we discuss another scenario where a woman struggles with intimacy after childbirth, facing her husband's frustration and hurtful comments. This highlights societal pressures on body image and the importance of emotional support in relationships. Efforts to rekindle romance through compliments and flirty behavior are met with mixed responses, underscoring the need for mutual appreciation and understanding. he chapter concludes by reinforcing that fidelity and love should be based on deeper qualities beyond physical appearance, and warns against the consequences of negative behavior in relationships.
Subscribe to The Joevelocity Show in your favorite podcast app so you don’t miss an episode! New episodes drop every Monday.
Need more Joevelocity in your life? Visit joevelocity.com for access to all our sites and content.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Because reality wasn't messy enough. This is the Joe Velocity Show.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
And welcome to the Joe Velossity Show. I'm here again
with Hubbah. Hey, how are you, sir? I'm doing well.
How are you? I'm doing well. So between the last
time that we recorded shows and now you have a
new microphone that you're in front of. Yeah, so you
should sound a little bit better. It's actually the same
microphone that I have now.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
It's big as black and as bowl just like you.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
Well, I think, of course, it seems like every time
that we record the show it's really hot outside.
Speaker 4 (00:47):
Oh my gosh, it's like I'm a damn curse you
are now, I'm so sorry. Well, yeah, you you have
your sunglasses here? Yes, that's from thirty one. What is
the thirty one studio? Yeah, yeah, that's when I've been
doing that training with with forty nine local union, okay
(01:12):
for me with media makers. So it's been really it's
been a really great experience.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
They're dann in Lawrenceville, right.
Speaker 4 (01:20):
Yeah, Well this one is in the Strip district.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Oh okay, yes, it's kind of by it.
Speaker 4 (01:25):
Yeah yeah, right, it's relliant but it was really nice.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
That's cool. That's awesome.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
It's a really great experience.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Yeah. So yeah, I've gotten out of my video mode
and I'm doing audience nowadays. Yeah, I don't have a
face made for television anymore. I'm sorry.
Speaker 4 (01:48):
Yeah, well I'm looking to do corporatery work for them. Okay,
that's what's going on. And it was. Everyone was wonderful.
Everyone was wonderful here.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
So you haven't hit your some of the hammer yet.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
No, I'm pretty good with a hammer.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Well you probably have an air hammer now, right, like hydraulic.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
No, we still have to use a regular hammer.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Oh.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
Yeah, we have to use the regular hammer.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
Yeah, and I would imagine, I mean, I guess filmmaking
Western Pennsylvania here has gotten pretty big. So yeah, the
fact that we have movies, it is and we're actually
like the TV shows are actually being film taering now
at this point.
Speaker 4 (02:32):
Right right, it's amazing. It's pretty cool. You know, I
learned a lot. I learned a lot, and and it's
such a short period of time, you know. And like
I said, everybody was wonderful, treating me very nice.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
That's cool.
Speaker 4 (02:52):
They were always willing to explain things when I didn't
have an understanding of it. Yeah, And that's what I
really appreciated about them, because they were willing to make
willing to have me have a better understanding of what's
going going okay, you know what I mean. And they
didn't judge. They don't judge nobody, you know what I mean.
(03:14):
And I loved it.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
That doesn't sound like like that doesn't like most workplaces though.
Speaker 3 (03:21):
So well.
Speaker 4 (03:22):
I mean, you know, based off of somebody's work or
something that's typically normal, like the jud went off of
their work, but other than that, like far as their
personal life and what they got going on, it that
they have no judgments there.
Speaker 3 (03:37):
And that's what made me feel so comfortable.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
I had this when I started my current jobs that
I had to have this one guy. I won't see
what his name is, but it was kind of like
he was kind of like the kiss up, you know.
It was kind of like the teacher's pet per se.
He was there the longest, hit, the most knowledge and
everything there, and I screwed up a call that I
took there and he's like, you're getting in trouble for
(04:00):
this here, you know, So I got a talking to.
I was also very new at the time, so it
just kind of like, okay, whatever. You know. Well, I
guess he also had the habit of going ahead there
and also going to management in like basically be like,
I'm gonna quit unless you give me a raise, and
they were basically appeasing him by doing that, except one
(04:23):
time whenever he went in and did that there, they're like, okay,
we'll go ahead and process their paperwork the yeah, you know,
since you're leaving, you know. And he came up to me,
this is after he had I'd been there a few
years at this point, He's like, yeah, I'm go'na be
leaving the company here in about thirty days. I'm like why,
you know, And it was just kind of like, well,
(04:44):
I don't really want to, but you know, I was
kind of like, you know, they kind of overplayed my
hand basically. Well, so he kind of admitted to it
there and everything there. But so a few years later
I was talking to one of my managers and I
was like, oh, yeah, do you remember when so and
said that this. He's like, I have some bad news
for you. It's like he passed away.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Yeah, a few years after he left the company, he
ended up passing away. So it was just kind of like, oh.
Speaker 4 (05:15):
My gosh, yeah, oh wow.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
But nonetheless it was just kind of weird, you know,
but it was it's nice that you've been welcomed with
open arms at your current place, right, so, right, and yeah,
because sometimes in some places you don't find that, especially
where I work out. But now at this point, I've
been there for ten years, I'm the I'm the head
hon show, right, I've been to the longest now with
(05:41):
your bed, right, which is why I asked myself why
I'm not a manager. But you know, it's kind of like,
knowing what the managers have to go through there, I'm
kind of glad I'm not.
Speaker 3 (05:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
So, but even my previous supervisor, which above which was
above the manager at the time, you know, when he
had to point the current manager, he actually apologized to
me there, you know, and it was pretty much there.
It was kind of because of the shift that I
work and everything, because I work like orange shifts, right
that in this case center, it was kind of like
(06:13):
you're too valuable. So it was kind of like I
kind of screwed myself in a sense. So yeah, the
problem is you do your job too well.
Speaker 4 (06:21):
Yeah, that's what I'm saying like sometimes you gotta sometimes
you got to back off a little bit because you
don't want to overdo yourself. And then they and then
they start to look at you like, uh, is he
trying to take our jobs? Is he trying to you
know what I mean? Jealousy?
Speaker 3 (06:36):
What to play a role?
Speaker 4 (06:37):
You know, and like just be yourself, you know what
I mean, Just be yourself. Me being myself for most
of the time helped me out along way, you know,
like I wouldn't have got as far if I as
I am now if I wasn't always myself. And that's
what continues to make me, That's what continues me to
(06:59):
keep on going down on the same path of just
being myself, being my hocky giggly bubbly.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
So it's just me, you know.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Yeah, at this point, now that ten years has passed,
I don't give a shit anymore.
Speaker 4 (07:13):
Like you get to that point in your life, you
just you'd be like, you know what, whatever, take me
for Take me as who I am. And if you
have a problem with that, that's your problem, not mine.
I'm going to continue walking down the street minding my
business just like God ping me un deserve.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
To do right exactly, but also too, I kind of
raise it's kind of advantageous because it allows me to
do like things like what we're doing right now, all right,
I have time to do that kind of stuff and
working on stuff there and have my own company now
and everything, you know, So it allows me a lot
of free time, which is kind of good because it
just basically allows me to do the stuff I actually
(07:49):
want to do, you know, as opposed to the stuff
I have to do right, you know. But anyways, yeah,
we can sit here and talk forever about that.
Speaker 4 (07:57):
I know, we sure can't. You know, I can talk. Yeah,
I'm not talking tout.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
And it was even kind of funny because in the
beginning of this year, before we started recording, it was
kind of like, well, what are we going to talk about?
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Right?
Speaker 2 (08:07):
The weather?
Speaker 3 (08:08):
Right right?
Speaker 2 (08:11):
But anyways, yeah, we've already filled up eight minutes worth
of talking. Anyway, Oh my god, let's go ahead here,
let's get this started here. So right, So the first
story today is my friend with benefits no longer wants
to have sex with me, but wants to remain friends,
and by the asshole for cutting off the friendship.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
So the story goes I.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Twenty two male was in a friend with benefit relationship
with Aaron, who's twenty two female, for a couple of years.
We've known each other since middle school and we were
really close childhood friends. We started casually hooking up a
couple of years ago and it was going great. That
sex was amazing, but we also communicate with each other
that this was just casual sex and that we were
free to have sex with anyone we wanted. It was
(08:53):
strictly a friends with benefits relationship. However, last week, Aaron
told me that she wanted to stop having sex with me,
but she still wanted to remain friends with me if possible,
because she really valued our friendship. I asked her if
she started seeing someone, and she said no, that she
was still having casual sex with other people, but she
wanted to stop having sex with me because she was
worried it might blossom into a relationship and she did
(09:15):
not want that. I told her it was fine and
this would in affect our friendship, but I was definitely
feeling hurt because she said she would still have casual
sex with other people but not with me. It was
kind of a gud punch. The next day, I texted
her that I know a girl wanted to remain friends
with her, I then blocked her on everything Personally, I'm
not really getting anything out of his friendship, so I
don't see the point of remaining friends with her. It's
(09:37):
better than just to rip the band aid off? Am
I the asshole.
Speaker 4 (09:42):
That I'm kind of down the middle with that situation
because I get it in ways, but then in another
I don't. It's like I get the simple fact that
you're sending up there like damn, you don't want to
have sex with me?
Speaker 3 (09:54):
Like you got a problem with me? Like what about
am I not? Am I not good enough in the
bait room?
Speaker 2 (09:58):
Like?
Speaker 3 (09:58):
Am I not putting it down? You know?
Speaker 2 (10:00):
Like?
Speaker 4 (10:00):
But at the same time, I don't think she really
meant it like that.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (10:08):
Maybe she just like she said she she didn't want
it to blossom into a relationship.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
I think she may be onto something there. And actually
one of the comments said she wanted to stop having
sex with me because she was wording it might blossom
into a real relationship. Mm hmm, So I mean that
I think there was kind of like maybe she was
starting to catch feelings in that the nec way she
didn't actually catch feelings. She decided, you know, I'm not
going to do this at all now. But the problem
(10:35):
is here with that is that it also kind of
gives you the question of her how strong was the
friendship to begin with? Right if they stopped having sex
and they won't no longer want to be friends, you know,
or he no wants to be friends with.
Speaker 4 (10:48):
Her, that explains a lot to me about him. Yeah,
because I think that's what she kind of she probably
had a sense.
Speaker 3 (10:55):
That he was going to do that. Okay, do you
know what I mean?
Speaker 4 (10:59):
Like because for the simple fact that you just don't
want to be friends with her no more because of that,
And I thought y'all were good friends. And then you
set up there and you said, this friendship is taking
me nowhere, this that and the that. That's I thought
being friends with someone that was just just having like
being able to have genuine conversations with someone, being able
(11:20):
to you know, like relate to someone on somethings or whatever.
Speaker 3 (11:24):
You know.
Speaker 4 (11:25):
I thought it wasn't about like what you can get
out of it, right, That's that sounds reflect for me.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
It sounds like to him this maybe it was a
little more transactional. It was kind of like, you know,
let's let's go ahead and just you know, do it,
you know, right, and that's all we do, you know, right?
Speaker 4 (11:42):
Yeah, right, that that's what it came off to me.
And she probably looked at him as a real, really
good friend, you know what I mean, she really did.
She probably really did have really cared for him and
started the gang feelings for him.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
Yeah, but I also think that we don't have enough
information to go on here, you know, because basically what
would happen afterwards, you know, where they basically stopped talking,
you know, would it be her? Would it be him?
You know? But I think basically he kind of based
I guess in a sense shows true colors because it
(12:16):
was kind of like, Okay, we're not having sex anymore,
We're not gonna be friends anymore, right so in the
first place. Yeah, anyways, a lot of folks took, uh
you know, took issue with the blocking of her. So
the comments went the amount of stories that go so
I blocked them on everything is crazy, like what you
had to blast with someone? Now you're all going to
(12:37):
pretend you don't exist anymore?
Speaker 3 (12:39):
Right?
Speaker 2 (12:41):
Another one said, it's sure for emotional immaturity and lack
of experience. But there's also a cultural attitude that we
have where ghosting blocking seems to be a totally accepted
way to end the relationship was one and that is fucked,
especially fucked when you consider that being subjected to the
solid treatment which ghosting blocking cutting people off is a
pretty extreme form of activates the same part of the
(13:02):
brain as physical pain. People were just out there chaos
traumatizing each other because it's more convenience for them and
having to deal with an uncomfortable conversation. So pseudopathic, unless
abuse is involved, cutting people off is almost always a
shitty thing to do. You can't exit a relationship while
still showing the other person respecting consideration, then you're not
ready to enter one.
Speaker 4 (13:22):
I wouldn't say it's sociopathic. I would say it's more
like maybe a little narcissistic, you know what I mean,
because if you're not getting your way, it's your way
or no way.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
Yeah, it's also came to me it's also too there.
I mean, you can't really apply that same reason in
every relationship. Sometimes, you know, you have things that were
like for example of like if I get treated bad
by somebody, I'm more likely to be like, you know what,
I don't have to deal with this. Yeah, so thus
I'm not gonna deal with it anymore. That's I'm gonna
drop them like a lead balloon.
Speaker 3 (13:53):
Right.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
But on the other hand, there too is that if
it was the situation like this, I don't think it
would necessarily be so quick to be like, you know what,
cut this off done? You know, it was kind of
like I think they need to talk more, you know,
And that's really what kind of goes down to. I
think they really need to sit down and have a
deep discussion about this herc.
Speaker 4 (14:16):
But I do feel like I don't think at this point,
after what he did, maybe she don't want.
Speaker 3 (14:22):
To talk no more. At that point, well.
Speaker 4 (14:25):
Yeah, because at this point, like she's probably looking at
it like I really thought he was a good friend.
I thought we can really talk about things and figure
things out and be cool, you know. But he the
one that took it that far. So to me, it
sounds like he really did have feelings, right. I feel
like he was the one that had more feelings than.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
And that she didn't.
Speaker 4 (14:46):
You know, I don't think she didn't have feelings. I
think she was getting ready to have feelings or she
was afraid of what this would lead to. There that
she didn't want to ruin the relationship, the friendship right
that she thought was there, but in fact she wasn't
right got a love relationship, you know. H some days
(15:07):
like me and think it's just easier being single, you know.
But anyways, let's go on. We'll move on to the
second story here, and by the asshole for considering ending
a five year long relationship over how my girlfriend treated
me on my birthday. My birthday was last week. My girlfriend,
both twenty nine, offered it to make me breakfast and
asked me when I'd like it. I said ten thirty am.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
We had an argument the night before, but we apologized
made peace. I was sick and slept on the couch
so that she could us undisturbed. The next morning, I
woke up and started making breakfast so i'd be ready
at ten thirty. She rushed in and told me that
she'd make it later, then left to go back to
sleep because she hadn't slept well after our fight. I
was confused and hurt, but finished making breakfast alone. I
(15:52):
even cried a bit before I pulling myself together. She
sat down wise eating, immediately brought up the previous night again.
Despite all receiving a sincere apology, I apologize again, but
she kept accusing me of not listening or owning up.
This happens often. My feelings get dismissed while the apologies
go unheard, and any attempt to share how I feel
(16:13):
is turned back on me. Later, she casually said, next time,
I will suggest breakfast that early, when she had asked
me what time I wanted it. It's stung. It was
my birthday, a day that really matters to me. Instead
of feeling separated, I felt ignored and blamed. She hadn't
even said happy birthday yet. I gently told her that
it hurt me that she didn't follow through on what
(16:34):
we agreed. She got defensive, saying that was being empathetic
when it reminded her how important birthdays are to me.
She started crying and asked if she is a horrible girlfriend.
I said no, ended up comforting her, even though I
was the one hurt. I've been loved with the pit
of my stomach ocula, things slide and try to see
the bigger picture. She's having a hard time, but I
(16:54):
don't feel that grace has returned. And when the asshole
or wrong for reconsidering the relationship, No, he's.
Speaker 4 (17:03):
Not wrong for reconsidering that, because no, do you know what,
I started reading this comment down the bottom a little bit,
and that first read that comment first, and then I'll
say something.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
Okay, the first comic goes, well, you're not breaking up
with her because of how she's treated you on your birthday.
You're breaking up with her because she's been doing this
over and over and now she's done it on your
birthday while you're sick. Sounds completely reasonable.
Speaker 4 (17:28):
To me, absolutely that that was the perfect comment because
she did not consider that man's birthday at all. That
even just that man's birthday. She do this time and
time again, you know, and she continues to do it
where she makes it all about herself.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
And it also sounds like there too, it's kind of like, Okay,
the fight was over, we apologize, we moved on, and
she literally just brought it right back into the foret.
Speaker 4 (17:55):
I didn't know how to let anything go, and to
me that she's too stuck on the past, she's too
stuck on bull crap, you know, to me, so it's
just like, I don't blame that man for not wanting
to do it anymore. He's just over it. He's over
it all. He's over her actions, he's over the way
she treats him. He's over just being let down all
(18:17):
the time from her.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
Yeah, exactly. You know. The second comment goes on that
says girlfriend has a great manipulator. Yes, absolutely, she behaved
poollian Oh. He apologized to her. I'd be on the
bet that the fight that I before was all her
doing as well. And then the commenter, the original poster
requorterback it was wow. He said in a comment that
(18:43):
she that he has a phobia bugs. She kill a
moth with the kitchen town put it back in the
kitchen on accents. He whipped his hands with it all day.
She then tournament at night. He flipped out on her.
Then he apologized because she said that she forgot so
it's not I was like, you know, it's like she
she knew, you know, I mean, so we add that
(19:06):
into there. It's kind of like, yeah, I mean, it's
like he's a phobia bugs. She kills the moth with
the towel instead of like putting the town in the
dirty you know, clothing stuff there, she puts it back
on the kitchen my accent there and lets him wipe
his hands with it all day. You know, it's like
she has no consideration for him exactly.
Speaker 4 (19:28):
To me, it just it kind of sounds like it
sounds like she purposely did it. Yeah, Like, girl, you
knew that that moth was hit with that towel and
he has a phobia with them, right, and you decided
to leave it on the kitchen table anyway, and that
man's wiping his hands with him, his clean hands with.
Speaker 3 (19:46):
Them, like you don't give about nobody.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
I can see why he would freak out, and you know,
and sounds like, yeah.
Speaker 4 (19:53):
Could it be an honest mistake, Yeah, it could possibly be.
But just the way it sounds, I'm going off a
how I feel about it, and I feel like she
did that purpose Yeah, you don't think about them much
at all.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
The last coming goes. Somebody who does this will always
suck the life out of you. I always had to
make my own birthday plans, give her money to buy
my gifts and tell her exactly what I wanted, and
deal with her sleeping until four or five of the
day and never got better and it got worse now
and see your sell some heartache later. I had a
relationship like this here, where it's kind of like the
other person just did not give two shits about me.
Speaker 3 (20:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
Yeah, I got a gift one year. It was a
it was like the Larry bobblehead there from the Three Stuges.
I freaking hate the Three Stuges, you know, yeah, that's
the last thing I wanted. But yeah, it was kind
of like, you know, it was that or it just
(20:45):
it was kind of like, you know, just there wasn't
much thought brought into this here, you know. But anyhow, yeah,
I could go on about my feelings as a human
being bad. We won't. But anyways, we're gonna go ahead
and we can take a break and we'll be back
with more stories. As the Joe Velos pinions right.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
You could listen to a station that plays the same
six songs on repeat, or you could try joe Velocity FM.
The home of rock, pop, alternative and new wave. Curated
by someone who doesn't hate you. No talk radio, no
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Speaker 5 (21:38):
We are joe Velocity FM. Always in motion like your caffeine. Withdrawal,
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Speaker 2 (22:31):
So welcome back to the job. Lasso show wants to
get them here with Hubba and we're gonna go and
continue on with the third story. Right in this case,
here I found out my husband has a second phone,
and now I don't trust anything, right, fine, without telling
(22:52):
it right, We've been married for three years. I generally
thought things were good between us. A few weeks ago,
is cleaning out the car and I found on a
phone shoved under the passenger seat. It was his, a
second phone that I'd never seen before. I took it
inside and charged it. It was locked. When I asked
him about it, he said it was an old fund.
Then he switched it up and claimed to use it
(23:13):
for work. To ask why it was hitting in the car,
that it was true, that he just got weirdly defensive.
Eventually he admitted that he keeps O for privacy. He
swore there's nothing bad on it, just stuff with friends,
fantasy football, and conversations he didn't think I care about.
I asked to see it, he refused, said if I
trusted him, I wouldn't need to look. Since then my
(23:35):
husband spinning it's nothing, then why hide it? While all
the stories, I'm not even sure if I care was
actually on the phone anymore. What's messing with me is
how easily he lied and how secretive he's being. Now
I can't stop questioning everything. Wow, well, I mean, obviously
he's the asshole.
Speaker 4 (23:55):
Absolutely, you have a whole second phone, but had your
wife's back, and then you you say one thing and
then you say another. So he basically lie to her
in her face like she's stupid.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
And now you're.
Speaker 4 (24:12):
Talking about now you don't want to show what's in
the phone talking about you swear there's nothing bad, and
they were talking about this fantasy football all day.
Speaker 3 (24:19):
You could have did that on your regular phone.
Speaker 2 (24:21):
I think also too, it's like if he would have
been like here, you go, unlock the phone and like
take a look at it, you know, then there have
been a problem there because the fact that he's been
really defensive about it. It's kind of like, well, yeah.
Speaker 3 (24:32):
You're probably being real defensive.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
You're being real weird. The commenters, i think, agreed with
us there. They said, tell me he broke your trust
when he lied about the second phone. Because he did,
includes don't trust him. It's justified. And then another commenter
wanted to say absolutely. Trust is the foundation of any relationship,
and once it's broken, especially through your secrecy and deception
(24:55):
like this, it's hard to rebuild. The poster has every
rate the question things, especially with how the fensive it got.
There's really nothing to hide, then there's no reason for
the secrecy exactly. This is what I said there. Yeah,
and then another person was like, cheating on you.
Speaker 3 (25:11):
Yeah, he probably has a whole other family.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
Well, yeah, there could be that.
Speaker 3 (25:19):
I don't think.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
I'm not sure if we would go that farther, but.
Speaker 4 (25:21):
I'm going that far because you got a whole second
phone hitting in your car and you won't open it up.
Speaker 2 (25:29):
And you lad well, I don't think you would not
have it charged if you had a whole entire second family. Though.
That's my whole entire thing with that.
Speaker 4 (25:37):
Is that, man, people are dogs. Okay, people are dogs.
I think it could possibly be that, but it could
be just a little little side chicks he have here
and there.
Speaker 2 (25:48):
That I think he's cheating.
Speaker 3 (25:51):
Yeah, he's a whole.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
He's a who in the name of this episode, He's
a who. Right, And then anyways, we're gonna go ahead
here and get on to the final story of this year.
The moment of conclusion, husband told me, I'm lucky he
hasn't cheated.
Speaker 3 (26:12):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (26:14):
In the spirit of full transparency, my husband and I
had been going through a rough patch in our intimacy.
I had my baby eighteen months ago. The recovery process
both physically Melli has been rough. I kept a lot
of the baby weight and I'm always too tired of
try anything or make myself look cute. So we've only
been inimate like five times since the baby arrived. He
(26:34):
was honest and said the baby weight in lack of
stamina has killed his mood for intimacy, which at first
I wasn't too bothered by because I didn't feel comfortable
with doing anything myself. Now I'm trying to get my
old self back, getting better, going on walks and avoiding
snacks as much as I can. I've also tried bringing
the spark back into our relationship, call him handsome, sent
them cute selfies, and try to be flirgerty spontaneously. However,
(26:58):
last week, when I told him he was looking fine,
his response completely took me by surprise. His response was
that I know, and you don't know how hard I
have it. I've had so much temptation in all these
years with some random women hitting on me my brain.
I'm actually short circuited. I don't know if he said
I'm lucky that he stayed faithful, or that it's just
that I heard in my head from the interpretation of
(27:20):
his first comment. Am I being sensitive and taking his
comment to a fence or is what he told me
really is messed up as I think it is. Absolutely,
I think it's screwed up. Yeah, you know, it's like
you know, I think the first comment, I got it perfect. First,
he doesn't get a cookie for not chitting right, here's
(27:43):
your chocolate chip cookie as.
Speaker 3 (27:45):
Opposed to in the first place. Dog.
Speaker 2 (27:48):
Yeah, that's a really little bar to be setting. Secondly,
I find the most manager like putting their partner down
really estimate their own attractiveness. And when they said partner
moves on, they're just shu reading a story about a
partner forceding to turn up in marriage, and most times
re electant partner gets way more attention. So don't listen
to that. Bs. I will say that the partner that
(28:09):
puts you down rather than lists you up is new
partner at all. He said that to hurt you and
control you from there on out. You need to decide
whether you're willing to put up with it and if
this prize of a man is worth it.
Speaker 4 (28:21):
It's just you know, yeah, he's an ass. He's a
complete ass. And and and and you mean to tell
me you sat up there and married this woman for
better or worse, through sickness and health and all that
extra shit. And you mean to tell me now you
got a problem with it because you gained a little weight,
and baby.
Speaker 2 (28:40):
What you expect from having a child. Yeah, you gain
a little weight.
Speaker 4 (28:43):
I mean when that turned you on more like you
had my baby bit like you know what I mean,
like you you brought my child into this world, like
you're a blessing.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
Well ter transactional thing there. It's just kind of like
it's kind of like, well you get my baby now,
you know. Yeah, I'm gonna go, you know, fuck other
women because you don't find you attractive anymore because you
know you still have your baby weight.
Speaker 4 (29:04):
You know, better be careful because what goes around comes around, right,
I'm all better be lucky. You better hope you don't
How about that, better hope somebody don't find her attractive.
Speaker 2 (29:14):
I'm not sure. I'm not sure that two wrongs make
a right.
Speaker 4 (29:18):
No, two wrongs don't make it right. But at the
same time, he better make it right. He better fix it, Okay,
do you know what I mean? Because at the end
of the day, Yeah, you know, if you're gonna put
someone down like.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
That, I think he has a lot of grumbling to
do in this case, then you know he has changed
his whole entire outlook.
Speaker 4 (29:37):
He needs himself in the mirror and realize how much
he has hurt his wife.
Speaker 2 (29:43):
You know. And it's not all about looks there, I mean,
and the one come out here really strikes me, you know,
as being raped. Spot on about this here. After twenty
plus years, three kids, and a whole lot of other
shit going on in our lives, I still think my
wife is studying despite the weight in and other body changes.
It's my love for her that keeps me interested and
invested in being part of this relationship, not what her
(30:05):
body looks like, because this whole entire thing there, you know,
the relationship is just more than sex. You know, there's
a lot of like the you know, you know, it's
like you're checked with somebody because of their personality, of
their thoughts, who they because of their body, yeah.
Speaker 4 (30:23):
You know, because of who they are, what they've done
for you, how they how mucht they be there for you,
how much they love you?
Speaker 2 (30:31):
Yeah, you know, not what they look like, you know, right,
and mother fucker. Yeah. And I think I've had relationships
there where it's kind of like, you know, what if
I gain a few pounds, it's kind of like fuck it,
you know, I'm done, And it's like, you know, I
don't want to put up with that kind of thing there,
because it's just kind of like it's awful, you know,
in the receave the end of it.
Speaker 4 (30:52):
Don't go out and cheat if he did, you know,
it's just not worth it.
Speaker 3 (30:55):
It really is not.
Speaker 2 (30:56):
Well you're suggesting a while again was the.
Speaker 4 (31:00):
Joe, But no, I'm saying you better hope that doesn't happen,
because you know, Karma's a bad mother, you know what
I mean.
Speaker 3 (31:07):
Yeah, Karma's a bad mug.
Speaker 4 (31:09):
You know, when you treat someone wrong and then just
expect him to stick around and deal with your bull crap.
Speaker 3 (31:16):
Yeah, you crazy as hell.
Speaker 2 (31:19):
It just sounds like, yeah, it's a tough situation here,
just kind of like he needs to kind of go
ahead there and get his head screw on straight and
be like, you know what, you know, I'm gonna stay
with this woman or she needs to move on, you know,
and not deal with his you know, crappy house or
give him cooking and be like here you go, right,
I'm done, you know, right, anyways, now I'm hungry for
(31:45):
a cookie. But anyways, we go ahead here, wrap this
up here. Well, I thank you very much there for
checking out the Joe Velossi has shown. Make sure to
subscribe to us. Your favorite podcasts up so you don't
miss an episode, and new episodes drop every Monday. For
access to our websites, visit us at jove velocity dot com.
Thanks for listening and we'll see you next week. Have
(32:06):
a good one.
Speaker 3 (32:07):
Bye bye.
Because reality wasn't messy enough. This is the Joe Velocity Show.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
And welcome to the Joe Velossity Show. I'm here again
with Hubbah. Hey, how are you, sir? I'm doing well.
How are you? I'm doing well. So between the last
time that we recorded shows and now you have a
new microphone that you're in front of. Yeah, so you
should sound a little bit better. It's actually the same
microphone that I have now.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
It's big as black and as bowl just like you.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
Well, I think, of course, it seems like every time
that we record the show it's really hot outside.
Speaker 4 (00:47):
Oh my gosh, it's like I'm a damn curse you
are now, I'm so sorry. Well, yeah, you you have
your sunglasses here? Yes, that's from thirty one. What is
the thirty one studio? Yeah, yeah, that's when I've been
doing that training with with forty nine local union, okay
(01:12):
for me with media makers. So it's been really it's
been a really great experience.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
They're dann in Lawrenceville, right.
Speaker 4 (01:20):
Yeah, Well this one is in the Strip district.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Oh okay, yes, it's kind of by it.
Speaker 4 (01:25):
Yeah yeah, right, it's relliant but it was really nice.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
That's cool. That's awesome.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
It's a really great experience.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Yeah. So yeah, I've gotten out of my video mode
and I'm doing audience nowadays. Yeah, I don't have a
face made for television anymore. I'm sorry.
Speaker 4 (01:48):
Yeah, well I'm looking to do corporatery work for them. Okay,
that's what's going on. And it was. Everyone was wonderful.
Everyone was wonderful here.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
So you haven't hit your some of the hammer yet.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
No, I'm pretty good with a hammer.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Well you probably have an air hammer now, right, like hydraulic.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
No, we still have to use a regular hammer.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Oh.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
Yeah, we have to use the regular hammer.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
Yeah, and I would imagine, I mean, I guess filmmaking
Western Pennsylvania here has gotten pretty big. So yeah, the
fact that we have movies, it is and we're actually
like the TV shows are actually being film taering now
at this point.
Speaker 4 (02:32):
Right right, it's amazing. It's pretty cool. You know, I
learned a lot. I learned a lot, and and it's
such a short period of time, you know. And like
I said, everybody was wonderful, treating me very nice.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
That's cool.
Speaker 4 (02:52):
They were always willing to explain things when I didn't
have an understanding of it. Yeah, And that's what I
really appreciated about them, because they were willing to make
willing to have me have a better understanding of what's
going going okay, you know what I mean. And they
didn't judge. They don't judge nobody, you know what I mean.
(03:14):
And I loved it.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
That doesn't sound like like that doesn't like most workplaces though.
Speaker 3 (03:21):
So well.
Speaker 4 (03:22):
I mean, you know, based off of somebody's work or
something that's typically normal, like the jud went off of
their work, but other than that, like far as their
personal life and what they got going on, it that
they have no judgments there.
Speaker 3 (03:37):
And that's what made me feel so comfortable.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
I had this when I started my current jobs that
I had to have this one guy. I won't see
what his name is, but it was kind of like
he was kind of like the kiss up, you know.
It was kind of like the teacher's pet per se.
He was there the longest, hit, the most knowledge and
everything there, and I screwed up a call that I
took there and he's like, you're getting in trouble for
(04:00):
this here, you know, So I got a talking to.
I was also very new at the time, so it
just kind of like, okay, whatever. You know. Well, I
guess he also had the habit of going ahead there
and also going to management in like basically be like,
I'm gonna quit unless you give me a raise, and
they were basically appeasing him by doing that, except one
(04:23):
time whenever he went in and did that there, they're like, okay,
we'll go ahead and process their paperwork the yeah, you know,
since you're leaving, you know. And he came up to me,
this is after he had I'd been there a few
years at this point, He's like, yeah, I'm go'na be
leaving the company here in about thirty days. I'm like why,
you know, And it was just kind of like, well,
(04:44):
I don't really want to, but you know, I was
kind of like, you know, they kind of overplayed my
hand basically. Well, so he kind of admitted to it
there and everything there. But so a few years later
I was talking to one of my managers and I
was like, oh, yeah, do you remember when so and
said that this. He's like, I have some bad news
for you. It's like he passed away.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Yeah, a few years after he left the company, he
ended up passing away. So it was just kind of like, oh.
Speaker 4 (05:15):
My gosh, yeah, oh wow.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
But nonetheless it was just kind of weird, you know,
but it was it's nice that you've been welcomed with
open arms at your current place, right, so, right, and yeah,
because sometimes in some places you don't find that, especially
where I work out. But now at this point, I've
been there for ten years, I'm the I'm the head
hon show, right, I've been to the longest now with
(05:41):
your bed, right, which is why I asked myself why
I'm not a manager. But you know, it's kind of like,
knowing what the managers have to go through there, I'm
kind of glad I'm not.
Speaker 3 (05:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
So, but even my previous supervisor, which above which was
above the manager at the time, you know, when he
had to point the current manager, he actually apologized to
me there, you know, and it was pretty much there.
It was kind of because of the shift that I
work and everything, because I work like orange shifts, right
that in this case center, it was kind of like
(06:13):
you're too valuable. So it was kind of like I
kind of screwed myself in a sense. So yeah, the
problem is you do your job too well.
Speaker 4 (06:21):
Yeah, that's what I'm saying like sometimes you gotta sometimes
you got to back off a little bit because you
don't want to overdo yourself. And then they and then
they start to look at you like, uh, is he
trying to take our jobs? Is he trying to you
know what I mean? Jealousy?
Speaker 3 (06:36):
What to play a role?
Speaker 4 (06:37):
You know, and like just be yourself, you know what
I mean, Just be yourself. Me being myself for most
of the time helped me out along way, you know,
like I wouldn't have got as far if I as
I am now if I wasn't always myself. And that's
what continues to make me, That's what continues me to
(06:59):
keep on going down on the same path of just
being myself, being my hocky giggly bubbly.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
So it's just me, you know.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Yeah, at this point, now that ten years has passed,
I don't give a shit anymore.
Speaker 4 (07:13):
Like you get to that point in your life, you
just you'd be like, you know what, whatever, take me
for Take me as who I am. And if you
have a problem with that, that's your problem, not mine.
I'm going to continue walking down the street minding my
business just like God ping me un deserve.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
To do right exactly, but also too, I kind of
raise it's kind of advantageous because it allows me to
do like things like what we're doing right now, all right,
I have time to do that kind of stuff and
working on stuff there and have my own company now
and everything, you know, So it allows me a lot
of free time, which is kind of good because it
just basically allows me to do the stuff I actually
(07:49):
want to do, you know, as opposed to the stuff
I have to do right, you know. But anyways, yeah,
we can sit here and talk forever about that.
Speaker 4 (07:57):
I know, we sure can't. You know, I can talk. Yeah,
I'm not talking tout.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
And it was even kind of funny because in the
beginning of this year, before we started recording, it was
kind of like, well, what are we going to talk about?
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Right?
Speaker 2 (08:07):
The weather?
Speaker 3 (08:08):
Right right?
Speaker 2 (08:11):
But anyways, yeah, we've already filled up eight minutes worth
of talking. Anyway, Oh my god, let's go ahead here,
let's get this started here. So right, So the first
story today is my friend with benefits no longer wants
to have sex with me, but wants to remain friends,
and by the asshole for cutting off the friendship.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
So the story goes I.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Twenty two male was in a friend with benefit relationship
with Aaron, who's twenty two female, for a couple of years.
We've known each other since middle school and we were
really close childhood friends. We started casually hooking up a
couple of years ago and it was going great. That
sex was amazing, but we also communicate with each other
that this was just casual sex and that we were
free to have sex with anyone we wanted. It was
(08:53):
strictly a friends with benefits relationship. However, last week, Aaron
told me that she wanted to stop having sex with me,
but she still wanted to remain friends with me if possible,
because she really valued our friendship. I asked her if
she started seeing someone, and she said no, that she
was still having casual sex with other people, but she
wanted to stop having sex with me because she was
worried it might blossom into a relationship and she did
(09:15):
not want that. I told her it was fine and
this would in affect our friendship, but I was definitely
feeling hurt because she said she would still have casual
sex with other people but not with me. It was
kind of a gud punch. The next day, I texted
her that I know a girl wanted to remain friends
with her, I then blocked her on everything Personally, I'm
not really getting anything out of his friendship, so I
don't see the point of remaining friends with her. It's
(09:37):
better than just to rip the band aid off? Am
I the asshole.
Speaker 4 (09:42):
That I'm kind of down the middle with that situation
because I get it in ways, but then in another
I don't. It's like I get the simple fact that
you're sending up there like damn, you don't want to
have sex with me?
Speaker 3 (09:54):
Like you got a problem with me? Like what about
am I not? Am I not good enough in the
bait room?
Speaker 2 (09:58):
Like?
Speaker 3 (09:58):
Am I not putting it down? You know?
Speaker 2 (10:00):
Like?
Speaker 4 (10:00):
But at the same time, I don't think she really
meant it like that.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (10:08):
Maybe she just like she said she she didn't want
it to blossom into a relationship.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
I think she may be onto something there. And actually
one of the comments said she wanted to stop having
sex with me because she was wording it might blossom
into a real relationship. Mm hmm, So I mean that
I think there was kind of like maybe she was
starting to catch feelings in that the nec way she
didn't actually catch feelings. She decided, you know, I'm not
going to do this at all now. But the problem
(10:35):
is here with that is that it also kind of
gives you the question of her how strong was the
friendship to begin with? Right if they stopped having sex
and they won't no longer want to be friends, you know,
or he no wants to be friends with.
Speaker 4 (10:48):
Her, that explains a lot to me about him. Yeah,
because I think that's what she kind of she probably
had a sense.
Speaker 3 (10:55):
That he was going to do that. Okay, do you
know what I mean?
Speaker 4 (10:59):
Like because for the simple fact that you just don't
want to be friends with her no more because of that,
And I thought y'all were good friends. And then you
set up there and you said, this friendship is taking
me nowhere, this that and the that. That's I thought
being friends with someone that was just just having like
being able to have genuine conversations with someone, being able
(11:20):
to you know, like relate to someone on somethings or whatever.
Speaker 3 (11:24):
You know.
Speaker 4 (11:25):
I thought it wasn't about like what you can get
out of it, right, That's that sounds reflect for me.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
It sounds like to him this maybe it was a
little more transactional. It was kind of like, you know,
let's let's go ahead and just you know, do it,
you know, right, and that's all we do, you know, right?
Speaker 4 (11:42):
Yeah, right, that that's what it came off to me.
And she probably looked at him as a real, really
good friend, you know what I mean, she really did.
She probably really did have really cared for him and
started the gang feelings for him.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
Yeah, but I also think that we don't have enough
information to go on here, you know, because basically what
would happen afterwards, you know, where they basically stopped talking,
you know, would it be her? Would it be him?
You know? But I think basically he kind of based
I guess in a sense shows true colors because it
(12:16):
was kind of like, Okay, we're not having sex anymore,
We're not gonna be friends anymore, right so in the
first place. Yeah, anyways, a lot of folks took, uh
you know, took issue with the blocking of her. So
the comments went the amount of stories that go so
I blocked them on everything is crazy, like what you
had to blast with someone? Now you're all going to
(12:37):
pretend you don't exist anymore?
Speaker 3 (12:39):
Right?
Speaker 2 (12:41):
Another one said, it's sure for emotional immaturity and lack
of experience. But there's also a cultural attitude that we
have where ghosting blocking seems to be a totally accepted
way to end the relationship was one and that is fucked,
especially fucked when you consider that being subjected to the
solid treatment which ghosting blocking cutting people off is a
pretty extreme form of activates the same part of the
(13:02):
brain as physical pain. People were just out there chaos
traumatizing each other because it's more convenience for them and
having to deal with an uncomfortable conversation. So pseudopathic, unless
abuse is involved, cutting people off is almost always a
shitty thing to do. You can't exit a relationship while
still showing the other person respecting consideration, then you're not
ready to enter one.
Speaker 4 (13:22):
I wouldn't say it's sociopathic. I would say it's more
like maybe a little narcissistic, you know what I mean,
because if you're not getting your way, it's your way
or no way.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
Yeah, it's also came to me it's also too there.
I mean, you can't really apply that same reason in
every relationship. Sometimes, you know, you have things that were
like for example of like if I get treated bad
by somebody, I'm more likely to be like, you know what,
I don't have to deal with this. Yeah, so thus
I'm not gonna deal with it anymore. That's I'm gonna
drop them like a lead balloon.
Speaker 3 (13:53):
Right.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
But on the other hand, there too is that if
it was the situation like this, I don't think it
would necessarily be so quick to be like, you know what,
cut this off done? You know, it was kind of
like I think they need to talk more, you know,
And that's really what kind of goes down to. I
think they really need to sit down and have a
deep discussion about this herc.
Speaker 4 (14:16):
But I do feel like I don't think at this point,
after what he did, maybe she don't want.
Speaker 3 (14:22):
To talk no more. At that point, well.
Speaker 4 (14:25):
Yeah, because at this point, like she's probably looking at
it like I really thought he was a good friend.
I thought we can really talk about things and figure
things out and be cool, you know. But he the
one that took it that far. So to me, it
sounds like he really did have feelings, right. I feel
like he was the one that had more feelings than.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
And that she didn't.
Speaker 4 (14:46):
You know, I don't think she didn't have feelings. I
think she was getting ready to have feelings or she
was afraid of what this would lead to. There that
she didn't want to ruin the relationship, the friendship right
that she thought was there, but in fact she wasn't
right got a love relationship, you know. H some days
(15:07):
like me and think it's just easier being single, you know.
But anyways, let's go on. We'll move on to the
second story here, and by the asshole for considering ending
a five year long relationship over how my girlfriend treated
me on my birthday. My birthday was last week. My girlfriend,
both twenty nine, offered it to make me breakfast and
asked me when I'd like it. I said ten thirty am.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
We had an argument the night before, but we apologized
made peace. I was sick and slept on the couch
so that she could us undisturbed. The next morning, I
woke up and started making breakfast so i'd be ready
at ten thirty. She rushed in and told me that
she'd make it later, then left to go back to
sleep because she hadn't slept well after our fight. I
was confused and hurt, but finished making breakfast alone. I
(15:52):
even cried a bit before I pulling myself together. She
sat down wise eating, immediately brought up the previous night again.
Despite all receiving a sincere apology, I apologize again, but
she kept accusing me of not listening or owning up.
This happens often. My feelings get dismissed while the apologies
go unheard, and any attempt to share how I feel
(16:13):
is turned back on me. Later, she casually said, next time,
I will suggest breakfast that early, when she had asked
me what time I wanted it. It's stung. It was
my birthday, a day that really matters to me. Instead
of feeling separated, I felt ignored and blamed. She hadn't
even said happy birthday yet. I gently told her that
it hurt me that she didn't follow through on what
(16:34):
we agreed. She got defensive, saying that was being empathetic
when it reminded her how important birthdays are to me.
She started crying and asked if she is a horrible girlfriend.
I said no, ended up comforting her, even though I
was the one hurt. I've been loved with the pit
of my stomach ocula, things slide and try to see
the bigger picture. She's having a hard time, but I
(16:54):
don't feel that grace has returned. And when the asshole
or wrong for reconsidering the relationship, No, he's.
Speaker 4 (17:03):
Not wrong for reconsidering that, because no, do you know what,
I started reading this comment down the bottom a little bit,
and that first read that comment first, and then I'll
say something.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
Okay, the first comic goes, well, you're not breaking up
with her because of how she's treated you on your birthday.
You're breaking up with her because she's been doing this
over and over and now she's done it on your
birthday while you're sick. Sounds completely reasonable.
Speaker 4 (17:28):
To me, absolutely that that was the perfect comment because
she did not consider that man's birthday at all. That
even just that man's birthday. She do this time and
time again, you know, and she continues to do it
where she makes it all about herself.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
And it also sounds like there too, it's kind of like, Okay,
the fight was over, we apologize, we moved on, and
she literally just brought it right back into the foret.
Speaker 4 (17:55):
I didn't know how to let anything go, and to
me that she's too stuck on the past, she's too
stuck on bull crap, you know, to me, so it's
just like, I don't blame that man for not wanting
to do it anymore. He's just over it. He's over
it all. He's over her actions, he's over the way
she treats him. He's over just being let down all
(18:17):
the time from her.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
Yeah, exactly. You know. The second comment goes on that
says girlfriend has a great manipulator. Yes, absolutely, she behaved
poollian Oh. He apologized to her. I'd be on the
bet that the fight that I before was all her
doing as well. And then the commenter, the original poster
requorterback it was wow. He said in a comment that
(18:43):
she that he has a phobia bugs. She kill a
moth with the kitchen town put it back in the
kitchen on accents. He whipped his hands with it all day.
She then tournament at night. He flipped out on her.
Then he apologized because she said that she forgot so
it's not I was like, you know, it's like she
she knew, you know, I mean, so we add that
(19:06):
into there. It's kind of like, yeah, I mean, it's
like he's a phobia bugs. She kills the moth with
the towel instead of like putting the town in the
dirty you know, clothing stuff there, she puts it back
on the kitchen my accent there and lets him wipe
his hands with it all day. You know, it's like
she has no consideration for him exactly.
Speaker 4 (19:28):
To me, it just it kind of sounds like it
sounds like she purposely did it. Yeah, Like, girl, you
knew that that moth was hit with that towel and
he has a phobia with them, right, and you decided
to leave it on the kitchen table anyway, and that
man's wiping his hands with him, his clean hands with.
Speaker 3 (19:46):
Them, like you don't give about nobody.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
I can see why he would freak out, and you know,
and sounds like, yeah.
Speaker 4 (19:53):
Could it be an honest mistake, Yeah, it could possibly be.
But just the way it sounds, I'm going off a
how I feel about it, and I feel like she
did that purpose Yeah, you don't think about them much
at all.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
The last coming goes. Somebody who does this will always
suck the life out of you. I always had to
make my own birthday plans, give her money to buy
my gifts and tell her exactly what I wanted, and
deal with her sleeping until four or five of the
day and never got better and it got worse now
and see your sell some heartache later. I had a
relationship like this here, where it's kind of like the
other person just did not give two shits about me.
Speaker 3 (20:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
Yeah, I got a gift one year. It was a
it was like the Larry bobblehead there from the Three Stuges.
I freaking hate the Three Stuges, you know, yeah, that's
the last thing I wanted. But yeah, it was kind
of like, you know, it was that or it just
(20:45):
it was kind of like, you know, just there wasn't
much thought brought into this here, you know. But anyhow, yeah,
I could go on about my feelings as a human
being bad. We won't. But anyways, we're gonna go ahead
and we can take a break and we'll be back
with more stories. As the Joe Velos pinions right.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
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six songs on repeat, or you could try joe Velocity FM.
The home of rock, pop, alternative and new wave. Curated
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Speaker 2 (22:31):
So welcome back to the job. Lasso show wants to
get them here with Hubba and we're gonna go and
continue on with the third story. Right in this case,
here I found out my husband has a second phone,
and now I don't trust anything, right, fine, without telling
(22:52):
it right, We've been married for three years. I generally
thought things were good between us. A few weeks ago,
is cleaning out the car and I found on a
phone shoved under the passenger seat. It was his, a
second phone that I'd never seen before. I took it
inside and charged it. It was locked. When I asked
him about it, he said it was an old fund.
Then he switched it up and claimed to use it
(23:13):
for work. To ask why it was hitting in the car,
that it was true, that he just got weirdly defensive.
Eventually he admitted that he keeps O for privacy. He
swore there's nothing bad on it, just stuff with friends,
fantasy football, and conversations he didn't think I care about.
I asked to see it, he refused, said if I
trusted him, I wouldn't need to look. Since then my
(23:35):
husband spinning it's nothing, then why hide it? While all
the stories, I'm not even sure if I care was
actually on the phone anymore. What's messing with me is
how easily he lied and how secretive he's being. Now
I can't stop questioning everything. Wow, well, I mean, obviously
he's the asshole.
Speaker 4 (23:55):
Absolutely, you have a whole second phone, but had your
wife's back, and then you you say one thing and
then you say another. So he basically lie to her
in her face like she's stupid.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
And now you're.
Speaker 4 (24:12):
Talking about now you don't want to show what's in
the phone talking about you swear there's nothing bad, and
they were talking about this fantasy football all day.
Speaker 3 (24:19):
You could have did that on your regular phone.
Speaker 2 (24:21):
I think also too, it's like if he would have
been like here, you go, unlock the phone and like
take a look at it, you know, then there have
been a problem there because the fact that he's been
really defensive about it. It's kind of like, well, yeah.
Speaker 3 (24:32):
You're probably being real defensive.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
You're being real weird. The commenters, i think, agreed with
us there. They said, tell me he broke your trust
when he lied about the second phone. Because he did,
includes don't trust him. It's justified. And then another commenter
wanted to say absolutely. Trust is the foundation of any relationship,
and once it's broken, especially through your secrecy and deception
(24:55):
like this, it's hard to rebuild. The poster has every
rate the question things, especially with how the fensive it got.
There's really nothing to hide, then there's no reason for
the secrecy exactly. This is what I said there. Yeah,
and then another person was like, cheating on you.
Speaker 3 (25:11):
Yeah, he probably has a whole other family.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
Well, yeah, there could be that.
Speaker 3 (25:19):
I don't think.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
I'm not sure if we would go that farther, but.
Speaker 4 (25:21):
I'm going that far because you got a whole second
phone hitting in your car and you won't open it up.
Speaker 2 (25:29):
And you lad well, I don't think you would not
have it charged if you had a whole entire second family. Though.
That's my whole entire thing with that.
Speaker 4 (25:37):
Is that, man, people are dogs. Okay, people are dogs.
I think it could possibly be that, but it could
be just a little little side chicks he have here
and there.
Speaker 2 (25:48):
That I think he's cheating.
Speaker 3 (25:51):
Yeah, he's a whole.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
He's a who in the name of this episode, He's
a who. Right, And then anyways, we're gonna go ahead
here and get on to the final story of this year.
The moment of conclusion, husband told me, I'm lucky he
hasn't cheated.
Speaker 3 (26:12):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (26:14):
In the spirit of full transparency, my husband and I
had been going through a rough patch in our intimacy.
I had my baby eighteen months ago. The recovery process
both physically Melli has been rough. I kept a lot
of the baby weight and I'm always too tired of
try anything or make myself look cute. So we've only
been inimate like five times since the baby arrived. He
(26:34):
was honest and said the baby weight in lack of
stamina has killed his mood for intimacy, which at first
I wasn't too bothered by because I didn't feel comfortable
with doing anything myself. Now I'm trying to get my
old self back, getting better, going on walks and avoiding
snacks as much as I can. I've also tried bringing
the spark back into our relationship, call him handsome, sent
them cute selfies, and try to be flirgerty spontaneously. However,
(26:58):
last week, when I told him he was looking fine,
his response completely took me by surprise. His response was
that I know, and you don't know how hard I
have it. I've had so much temptation in all these
years with some random women hitting on me my brain.
I'm actually short circuited. I don't know if he said
I'm lucky that he stayed faithful, or that it's just
that I heard in my head from the interpretation of
(27:20):
his first comment. Am I being sensitive and taking his
comment to a fence or is what he told me
really is messed up as I think it is. Absolutely,
I think it's screwed up. Yeah, you know, it's like
you know, I think the first comment, I got it perfect. First,
he doesn't get a cookie for not chitting right, here's
(27:43):
your chocolate chip cookie as.
Speaker 3 (27:45):
Opposed to in the first place. Dog.
Speaker 2 (27:48):
Yeah, that's a really little bar to be setting. Secondly,
I find the most manager like putting their partner down
really estimate their own attractiveness. And when they said partner
moves on, they're just shu reading a story about a
partner forceding to turn up in marriage, and most times
re electant partner gets way more attention. So don't listen
to that. Bs. I will say that the partner that
(28:09):
puts you down rather than lists you up is new
partner at all. He said that to hurt you and
control you from there on out. You need to decide
whether you're willing to put up with it and if
this prize of a man is worth it.
Speaker 4 (28:21):
It's just you know, yeah, he's an ass. He's a
complete ass. And and and and you mean to tell
me you sat up there and married this woman for
better or worse, through sickness and health and all that
extra shit. And you mean to tell me now you
got a problem with it because you gained a little weight,
and baby.
Speaker 2 (28:40):
What you expect from having a child. Yeah, you gain
a little weight.
Speaker 4 (28:43):
I mean when that turned you on more like you
had my baby bit like you know what I mean,
like you you brought my child into this world, like
you're a blessing.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
Well ter transactional thing there. It's just kind of like
it's kind of like, well you get my baby now,
you know. Yeah, I'm gonna go, you know, fuck other
women because you don't find you attractive anymore because you
know you still have your baby weight.
Speaker 4 (29:04):
You know, better be careful because what goes around comes around, right,
I'm all better be lucky. You better hope you don't
How about that, better hope somebody don't find her attractive.
Speaker 2 (29:14):
I'm not sure. I'm not sure that two wrongs make
a right.
Speaker 4 (29:18):
No, two wrongs don't make it right. But at the
same time, he better make it right. He better fix it, Okay,
do you know what I mean? Because at the end
of the day, Yeah, you know, if you're gonna put
someone down like.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
That, I think he has a lot of grumbling to
do in this case, then you know he has changed
his whole entire outlook.
Speaker 4 (29:37):
He needs himself in the mirror and realize how much
he has hurt his wife.
Speaker 2 (29:43):
You know. And it's not all about looks there, I mean,
and the one come out here really strikes me, you know,
as being raped. Spot on about this here. After twenty
plus years, three kids, and a whole lot of other
shit going on in our lives, I still think my
wife is studying despite the weight in and other body changes.
It's my love for her that keeps me interested and
invested in being part of this relationship, not what her
(30:05):
body looks like, because this whole entire thing there, you know,
the relationship is just more than sex. You know, there's
a lot of like the you know, you know, it's
like you're checked with somebody because of their personality, of
their thoughts, who they because of their body, yeah.
Speaker 4 (30:23):
You know, because of who they are, what they've done
for you, how they how mucht they be there for you,
how much they love you?
Speaker 2 (30:31):
Yeah, you know, not what they look like, you know, right,
and mother fucker. Yeah. And I think I've had relationships
there where it's kind of like, you know, what if
I gain a few pounds, it's kind of like fuck it,
you know, I'm done, And it's like, you know, I
don't want to put up with that kind of thing there,
because it's just kind of like it's awful, you know,
in the receave the end of it.
Speaker 4 (30:52):
Don't go out and cheat if he did, you know,
it's just not worth it.
Speaker 3 (30:55):
It really is not.
Speaker 2 (30:56):
Well you're suggesting a while again was the.
Speaker 4 (31:00):
Joe, But no, I'm saying you better hope that doesn't happen,
because you know, Karma's a bad mother, you know what
I mean.
Speaker 3 (31:07):
Yeah, Karma's a bad mug.
Speaker 4 (31:09):
You know, when you treat someone wrong and then just
expect him to stick around and deal with your bull crap.
Speaker 3 (31:16):
Yeah, you crazy as hell.
Speaker 2 (31:19):
It just sounds like, yeah, it's a tough situation here,
just kind of like he needs to kind of go
ahead there and get his head screw on straight and
be like, you know what, you know, I'm gonna stay
with this woman or she needs to move on, you know,
and not deal with his you know, crappy house or
give him cooking and be like here you go, right,
I'm done, you know, right, anyways, now I'm hungry for
(31:45):
a cookie. But anyways, we go ahead here, wrap this
up here. Well, I thank you very much there for
checking out the Joe Velossi has shown. Make sure to
subscribe to us. Your favorite podcasts up so you don't
miss an episode, and new episodes drop every Monday. For
access to our websites, visit us at jove velocity dot com.
Thanks for listening and we'll see you next week. Have
(32:06):
a good one.
Speaker 3 (32:07):
Bye bye.
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