October 27, 2025 • 37 mins
On the 13th episode of The Joevelocity Show, Joe is joined by Hubba, and we discuss r/AIO (Am I Overreacting) stories from Reddit.
•AIO for secretly recording my boyfriend because I thought he was gaslighting me?
We kick things off with a rather tense situation involving a secret recording. A woman feels she's being gaslighted by her boyfriend and resorts to recording their conversations to prove her point. This leads to a heated debate about privacy and trust in relationships. While some argue that her actions were a violation, others sympathize with her plight. Joe reflects on his own experiences, drawing parallels and emphasizing the delicate balance between validating one’s feelings and respecting personal boundaries.
•AIO Aunt harvested my garden and mom let her do it.
Next, we shift gears to a more familial issue as we discuss a woman enraged by her aunt harvesting her homegrown garden without permission. This story prompts us to contemplate respect for personal property and the deeper familial dynamics at play. We share our outrage over the aunt’s entitlement, and encourage listeners to consider the emotional investment tied to one’s hard work, especially when family crosses the line.
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Savorista Coffee offers premium craft decaf and half caf blends with bold flavors, ethically sourced beans, and natural decaffeination. Small-batch roasted for exceptional taste. Enjoy an exclusive 25% discount with the promo code JOEVELOCITY at SAVORISTA.COM.
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•AIO for calling off my wedding after finding out my fiancé had a "breakup box" of his exes?
We then dive into a heart-wrenching story about a woman who calls off her wedding after discovering a box full of her fiancé's mementos from past relationships. This prompts a candid discussion on nostalgia and how we carry our pasts into new relationships. While we initially empathize with her hurt feelings,we ultimately agree that holding on to past relationships can be a healthy part of one’s growth, as long as it doesn’t interfere with the present partnership.
•AIO I lost my best friend of 7 years?
Lastly, we explore a complicated and tragic tale involving a friendship that turns sour after an intimate encounter under the influence of alcohol. As we unpack the layers of consent and emotional fallout, We point out the ambiguity that often exists in relationships involving intoxication, and the importance of clear communication. The intricate feelings of guilt, shame, and confusion that arise from the incident lead us to question accountability and the impact of societal pressures on personal identity.
---
For access to all our special deals, visit:
https://joego.to/deals
---
Subscribe to The Joevelocity Show on your favorite podcast app and never miss an episode!
Visit joevelocity.com for access to all of our web sites!
•AIO for secretly recording my boyfriend because I thought he was gaslighting me?
We kick things off with a rather tense situation involving a secret recording. A woman feels she's being gaslighted by her boyfriend and resorts to recording their conversations to prove her point. This leads to a heated debate about privacy and trust in relationships. While some argue that her actions were a violation, others sympathize with her plight. Joe reflects on his own experiences, drawing parallels and emphasizing the delicate balance between validating one’s feelings and respecting personal boundaries.
•AIO Aunt harvested my garden and mom let her do it.
Next, we shift gears to a more familial issue as we discuss a woman enraged by her aunt harvesting her homegrown garden without permission. This story prompts us to contemplate respect for personal property and the deeper familial dynamics at play. We share our outrage over the aunt’s entitlement, and encourage listeners to consider the emotional investment tied to one’s hard work, especially when family crosses the line.
---
Savorista Coffee offers premium craft decaf and half caf blends with bold flavors, ethically sourced beans, and natural decaffeination. Small-batch roasted for exceptional taste. Enjoy an exclusive 25% discount with the promo code JOEVELOCITY at SAVORISTA.COM.
---
•AIO for calling off my wedding after finding out my fiancé had a "breakup box" of his exes?
We then dive into a heart-wrenching story about a woman who calls off her wedding after discovering a box full of her fiancé's mementos from past relationships. This prompts a candid discussion on nostalgia and how we carry our pasts into new relationships. While we initially empathize with her hurt feelings,we ultimately agree that holding on to past relationships can be a healthy part of one’s growth, as long as it doesn’t interfere with the present partnership.
•AIO I lost my best friend of 7 years?
Lastly, we explore a complicated and tragic tale involving a friendship that turns sour after an intimate encounter under the influence of alcohol. As we unpack the layers of consent and emotional fallout, We point out the ambiguity that often exists in relationships involving intoxication, and the importance of clear communication. The intricate feelings of guilt, shame, and confusion that arise from the incident lead us to question accountability and the impact of societal pressures on personal identity.
---
For access to all our special deals, visit:
https://joego.to/deals
---
Subscribe to The Joevelocity Show on your favorite podcast app and never miss an episode!
Visit joevelocity.com for access to all of our web sites!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Your dive into the wild, weird, and wonderfully messy world
of Reddit. This is the Joe Velocity Show.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
And welcome to the Joe Velocity Show. I am Joe,
and I never introduced myself. People think my name is
Joe Velocity and it's not. It's Joe and I'm here
with hubbah Hi.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
Hello.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Hello, So doing this a little differently today you're actually
not here with me, but you're sitting in your nice,
humble abode. Well, thank you with the new Earth.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
Mm hmm, got a good deal.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
And speaking of leaks now, of course, yesterday I went
to bed, and right before the bed, I went to
the bathroom and would you know it, there I had
water in my bathroom, just not the water that I
normally generate there, but like I had water on my counter,
I had water on the windows, so I had water
on the floor. I had water on the on the
(01:13):
shelf behind the toilet or whatever it's called. Turns out
the toilet above me and the apartment above me flooded
and then started dripping down the wall, so thankfully didn't
damage anything. I just had to wind up all the
water there. But it was just kind of annoying it
was just like, oh god, right, and uh yeah, so.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
It's always something, right, there's always something. But like you said,
thank god it didn't damage anything. But I know it
was nerve wracking have to draw that shit up, you know,
just come on, you know, the drive all at water,
and you know, thank god nothing got damaged.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Was your leak particularly bad?
Speaker 1 (01:51):
Whenever it happened, it wasn't bad. It was just like
it was just leaking in the corner.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
Okay, I only had it happened one time, you know,
So I put the bucket there and I'm like, uh huh,
that's awkward. And that's when I, you know, would and
looked into it and come and find out I.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Had to get a new room. Oh god, I didn't
have to get a new roof.
Speaker 3 (02:10):
I could have got things patched because of the weather,
the storm damage, like, you know, so I could have
got that, but but they were like, you're going to
have to replace it within one or three years.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Yeah. So it was kind of like I do it
now or do it later, you know, so do it now, right,
get it all done with her, and have no money
for the rest of the year.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
But it was right, you know.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
So anyways, I just want to let you know here
this episode we're gonna do am I overreacting, which is
a little bit different than am I the asshole? M Yeah,
the start is a little bit different there, but they're
kind of in the same vein.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
Also too, before I forget, I was apologized to my
mom because in the last show we came back out
of the commercial break and it's like, thank god, I'm
not doing these episodes with my mom. My mom took
offense to that.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
Oh he didn't mean it like that, and I thought.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
I have it all.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Oh, I love my mom.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
He loves you, mommy, and I love you too.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
But after having done four episodes with her there, it's
kind of like when those things are were Basically, whenever
you're doing an episode with your mother, you have to
watch your mouth. So h but you know, so I
can't be as quote unquote free as I want to be,
Like I can't be with you right right, and so
in this case, then yeah, that's really all I meant
(03:27):
by that. So one other thing to mention there too,
is that I added a new thing onto the website
joe velocitieshow dot com that if you want to give
an email every time a new episode is released, there's
a milling list you can sign up for on the
main page. You just put in your first name, last name,
and then your email a dress, And what what happened
(03:47):
is is that every time we release a new episode,
it basically will send you an email and we'll have
it like a link to the actual episode there on
the website.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
Right, So it's a nice way that just be reminded
there just in case you forget so. Yeah, but anyways,
let's go ahead here and let's get into the first story.
Am I over reacting, particularly recording my boyfriend because I
thought he was gaslighting me?
Speaker 3 (04:14):
So I'm sorry secretly recording him. Yeah, I don't like that.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
Well, anyways, there's a reason why. So the story goes,
I twenty six female, started feeling like I was losing
my mind around my boyfriend who's twenty nine, and mil
I tell him things we agreed upon, plans, conversations, and
even arguments, and he swear they never happened. He got
to the point I started recording our conversations, nothing evasive,
(04:44):
just when we talk about something important like bills or plans.
Last week, he tried to tell me I never asked
him to pick up my sister from the airport, but
I had the recording clear as day of him agreeing
to it. When I played it, he freaked out, said
I was violating his trust in acting paranoid total I
felt like I was being gas lit. For months, he
packed a bag and went to his brother's, telling our
(05:04):
friends I spy on him. Everyone's telling me I'm unhinged
and went too far. But I was genuinely starting to
question my own memory before I started recording. Am I
over reacting?
Speaker 3 (05:17):
Oh I'm caught and I'm caught in between this one
Like it's yeah, that's definitely invading his privacy. But at
the same time I could get her trying to prove
her point.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Yes, exactly, that's that's exactly what I was gonna say.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
Up there, making it like she just don't know what
she'd be talking about. I don't like that neither. It's like,
maybe she needs to leave him the hell alone.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
How about that?
Speaker 2 (05:44):
Well, let me give you a personal example there with
my sword dating life. There. You know, my most recent
X of four years would do that to me all
the time. You know, basically we'll be talking about going
ahead there and doing something and then I would bring
it up to and then be like, no, I never
said that, Yes you did. This went on for years,
(06:06):
you know, I never went as far as recording them.
But in this case here, I can understand why she
recorded him. And honestly it's not a bad idea now
to think about it, but yeah, it's one of the
situations there where you know, if she's proving that he
(06:27):
gasped at her, then she has a point, you know, right,
So I would think here that you know, I don't
think she's the asshole at all. I kind of disagree
with you there, you know.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
No, I don't. I don't think. I don't think she
is that.
Speaker 3 (06:44):
Like I'm not saying, like I get and understand someone's privacy,
you know what I mean, Like, I get that, but
this is supposed to be what his girlfriend is.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
Yeah, basically, you know, basically it's from the girl, the
girlfriend's perspective there, Hey, he's been gassing me. I think
he's been gaslighting me. Someone record him and catch him
in the act of gas slighting me.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
M yeah, And she caught him, And I mean, she
really did have to do what she had to do.
But the way he's kind of going about it and
like making her out to be like this, you know,
like bad person for it, and like, oh she's a spy.
She's just yeah, that to me, that's overreacting, Like that's reacting.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
So something like I'm gaslighting you. It's kind of like, oh,
you recorded me, you're spying. I mean blah blah blah
blah blah.
Speaker 3 (07:38):
And it's like bruh, it's not that deep though, like
that shit girl, Like it's like come on now.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Then you're going around saying, oh, she is spye.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
I think that's a little too much because I kind
of get where she's coming from.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Like it's just like you keep gas like me, you know,
you keep and.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
And like.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
I was even thinking like maybe he has a forgetful memory. Yeah,
well you know some people do you know.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
There was one of the comments here that kind of
really hit it on the head there. He is an
offensive as a defensive tactic, it often works. She caught
me cheating, stealing, lying, whatever, So accuse you being controlling
or some other abuse to cancel oup my fence in
the redirect and project. I think that comment really hit
it right on the head there.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Yeah, yeah, I think so too.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
So also too, and our person said, back up the
rest of the things and have it waiting for him
at the door. It's been gas letting you. He's mad
because he got caught. He's messing with your psyche and
your piece. That's not okay.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
Leave him the fuck alone.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
So she went ahead and responded, I usually think people
in comments are too to tell people to throw away
their relationships, but in this situation, this is exactly the
right advice. So yeah, the last commenter said, it's also
what long COVID looks like for a lot of people,
just crushes their memory. I think they're being a little
too kind there. I think it's just being asshole, you know,
(09:01):
That's what it comes down to.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
You feel some way.
Speaker 3 (09:11):
Oh y'all should see his face right now as he's
looking like, no, he's just being the ass Yeah, Like
it's in his face he's feeling that.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
Of course, this is coming from somebody who's never had COVID.
I swear I'm the only person, wow, in the world
who's never had COVID.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
Ever whoa COVID.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
So you had COVID once? My parents had it, and
I was around them a few days before it happened.
So it was kind of surprising that I never actually
got it. So so I don't know exactly what exactly happened,
but I guess I got lucky, you know. Yeah, that's
all I have to say there. But watch me, like,
you know, two months from now, you know, during Christmas. Oh,
I got COVID right, Everybody's like, huh, how do you
(09:57):
do that?
Speaker 1 (09:58):
Right? No?
Speaker 2 (09:59):
See, anyways, let's go ahead here and we'll get on
to the second story. Am I overreacting? Who needs enemies
when you have family? My aunt harvested my garden and
Mom let her do it. So there's a picture in
that dock there and all, and I'll actually put it
on the website.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
Vegetables.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Yeah, this is all the vegetables here, So it kind
of gives you an idea of what we're looking at here.
I spent six months growing my garden, planning it, watering it,
taking care of it, watching it grow something successful. I
built from and poured so much into that. My mom
helped me expand and plant it in the ground. And
I come home today at the end of the growing
season to see it basically bagged up and wiped out.
(10:42):
My drama loving aunt, who I stay away from his
visiting from the city and decided the harvest about seventy
five percent of it without asking. And my mom just
let her do it, didn't stop her, didn't text or
warm me, just let it happen and probably encouraged that
abuld mix a pity in a history of bad influence.
Then my aunt has to nerve to brag to me
that she took all of it and give it to
(11:02):
her neighbors like it was hers to take. I'm beyond disappointed,
but mostly I'm just dumbest leveled ignorance. I don't even
care to say anything because I'm so shocked and annoyed
at the lack of care for my feelings and my
hard work. I won't waste my time teaching grown adults
basic respect.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
He is disrespectful.
Speaker 3 (11:20):
That was just like, come on, now, you knew you
was going You did that specifically to mess with her,
and I'm sorry. Just described how messed up she really
is to.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
Me, right exactly, you know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (11:33):
So no, absolutely not. That is your guard and that's
something you worked hard on. Look at these vegetables. They
looked so good, and it's just like, wow, like you
just took all her dag on food seventy five.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
Percent of it.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
Yeah, like when you're looking at this disrespectful, like here's
basically like three like gallay no food.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
I'm sorry, A.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
Ton of tomatoes and stuff like that. I mean usually
whenever people grow stuff in a garden, like my parents
will grow stuff in the garden, they're constantly trying to
pawn stuff off on me, like they want do you
want this? Do you want that? I'm like, sure, yeah,
because I live in an apartment. I don't have a garden,
you know, So it's basically matter. I appreciate what they
give me there, but I don't sit there and be like,
(12:19):
you know, I want it all and I want it now,
you know, which just sounds like you know literally what
her ant did. Anyways, the comments were not kind towards
the ant.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
Well, of course not. I don't expect that.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
Make it clear in an SMS or a text message
that you let them know they had no permission to
do it, and get their response. Follow a police report
for damage and theft. If you're extra petty, take them
on a small claims court for restitution and be sure
the value your labored time. Appropriately the judge will decide
what is fair. If they don't show up, you went
(12:54):
by default, they don't pay you, you can have their wages,
gardenish to put a lean on their house. God, I mean,
I'm not sure if I would do that over some
vegetables there, but Jesus Christ, you know they're going too
for right now. Our president said I'd no advice and
helping new past. I just wanted you to get your
stuff back. Wouldn't let her take it. That just so
(13:14):
fucked up, And I feel absolutely defeated for you. That
produces beautiful and looks like it took so much work.
Then the last one, I kind of think really hit
it on the head. Honestly, this kind of shows what
Judge Judy lives for. I would love to see this
play out on Judy Justice. Right, did you know what
those shows that actually basically the way that they work
(13:37):
is that both people have to dismiss their case in
regular court and Judy or Judge Judy or Judy Justice
or wherever the hell it is nowadays, she's actually an arbitrator.
So actually what you're looking at is arbitration, and no
matter who wins or loses, the show pays the cost.
(14:01):
So these people aren't out anything there. So for example,
she makes a judgment for five thousand dollars with just
the limit for like the planet for the defendant. The
show pays that, so they don't worry about that. Yeah, right,
And honestly, it's actually cheaper to produce in a lot
of other shows. We're fact did you know that? No?
Speaker 1 (14:24):
Yeah, not none of that.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
People's Court was like that to the justice and all
these court shows. That's why they've been so popular on
TV is that because of the fact that they're not
that expensive to produce and that the actual show itself
pays the cost of the court judgments.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
So you figured you're just always in that down.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
You know, so they could be like, you know what, yeah,
we're raring a little high in the budget there make
the judgment smaller, right, So yeah, it's absolutely amazing. You
know how fake reality TV is? You know.
Speaker 3 (15:01):
It is?
Speaker 2 (15:01):
It is so sorry the burst your bubble with that
one there too.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
No, no, no good.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
But anyways, we're gonna head in the break. But before that,
I wanted to talk about something real quick. Most places
online sell coffee. They sell caffeinated coffee. You know, That's
the reason why most people drink coffee is because it's caffeinated.
They want to boost, they want to pick me up. However,
(15:30):
I can't drink caffeinated coffee. My cardiologist was like, Nope,
can't do it anymore. So I switched to decaf coffee.
And everybody's like, well, you know, why do you like
the calf coffee? Well, I like to taste the coffee,
and I know some people don't like to taste the coffee,
like you, for example, I know you like iced coffee
every once in a while, but you know, so basically,
(15:53):
now instead of treating it like a pick me up,
I treat it like a dessert, you know, out like dinner,
and then I'll have a cup of coffee. So the
problem is is that with decaf coffee, it's hard to
find on the stores. It's like you'll find all this
caffeinated coffee. Then you'll find like one package your calf
and that would be it.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
It'd be like somewhere where you can even hardly.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
See it, right exactly, Yeah, it'll be buried, you know,
because nobody wants.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
Decalp it just like a couple one now.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
But basically, there is a new company called save a
Resta Coffee and they offer premium craft decaf and half
calf blends with bold flavors. The ethnic source their beans,
and they're inentially decaffeinated because some times whenever they make
decaf coffee, basically they take rather coffee and remove the
caffeine from it. They use like, you know, chemicals to
(16:49):
do it there. But in this case then they actually
decaf their stuff with water and other natural stuff there
So in a small batch roast it for a sceptional taste.
And guess what because save twenty five percent off with
my promo code joe Velocity. Nice they've ever reached that
dot com? Yeah, so, anyways, exactly, Yeah, so so that
(17:14):
way then it won't be like, oh my god, checking
my boots. Anyways, bring your head here. We're gonna take
a break and we'll be right back with more than
the Joe Velossi Show after this, and welcome back to
(17:39):
the Joe Velossi Show. So anyways, yeah, so this is
the first time you and I have done this with.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
You being remote and yeah, I'm comfortable sitting.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
In your gaming share. I'm sitting in my office chair,
not that my not that my apartment's uncomfortable. And you
you have a nice chair that sit in whenever you're here.
M so, But I must say there there is something
with being in person and talking to people, you know, yeah,
and then also talking to people in the zoom. It's
a little bit different with you and I. It doesn't
(18:12):
like it's that much different, you know.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
Right, it does, you know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (18:16):
It just comes natural with us. That's pretty That's what's up.
Like that chemistry, man, we just have that. That's what's up.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
Yay, chemistry.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
Chemistry. You gotta need that chemistry now HOMEO.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
Anyways, were ahead to get with the third story? Here?
Am I overreacting for calling off my wedding after finding
out my fiance had a breakup box of his exes.
I twenty nine female, caught off my wedding three weeks
before the date, and when things I've lost it. My
fiance Liam, who's thirty mal have been together for four years,
(19:00):
engaged for one Things were good until last months when
I was packing up some of his old boxes to
move into our new apartment. I found a small bus
shoe box labeled breakups, insider photos, letters, little gifts, all
from his exes. But what made me sick was that
he had. He had written notes about each one of them,
things like still the best laugh I've ever had, or
(19:21):
if we met later, maybe it would have worked. He
even had a drive fled from one of his first dates.
I'm confronted him. He said it was just a record
of lessons learned. He said, I shouldn't snoop, and then
I was overreacting to nostalgia. I tried to move on,
but I couldn't stop thinking about it. He's planning to
marry me, but still keeping momentous of other women and
documenting how they made him feel. So I told him
(19:43):
I couldn't go through with the wedding until he got
rid of the box. He refused, said it's a part
of his history. So I called the whole thing off.
Now my family's furious and says, I threw away a
good man over a box of memories. But I can't
imagine building a life with someone who reminiscences his past
like that. Am I of her reacting? You're sitting there
(20:09):
like a giving you a hard story there?
Speaker 1 (20:13):
Huh? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (20:14):
Because I don't. I think she kind of is. Yes,
I think she's not kind of she is. I think
I think she is overreacting because it's just like it's
his lessons he learned, like from being able to like
if I was this, if I could have been this,
then maybe would have been better, but it didn't happen
(20:35):
that way, and life moves on. That's pretty I actually
like that because he's learning his lessons from every ex
he had, you know what I mean, even learning things
about himself or them.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
Like it's just like, come on that to me. To me,
I look at that as she should be proud of
her man wanting to be a better.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
Man exactly, something like you know all the time, I'm sorry, Yeah,
So like he's talking to his ex's all the time.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
Yeah, he ain't talking to them broad.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
Yeah, it's like, hey, we're gonna go out, me and
my ex.
Speaker 1 (21:09):
You know, he wanted a fund memory of them what
she got.
Speaker 3 (21:13):
And that's healthy too, if you think about it, it's
it's pretty healthy.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
It's not like he's out for revenge or talking down
about him.
Speaker 3 (21:22):
Or you know what I mean, because you know that's
I didn't get that from this story that he was
talking down about him.
Speaker 1 (21:29):
Yeah, you know what I mean. So I think that's healthy.
I like him. I like him and then she did
the way a good man yet dom Broud, that was stupid.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
The comments agreed with you and I you're over reacting
on momentus and past relationships, and I'm happily married. It's
a shoe box on a plaque on the mantle, absolutely unhinged.
His passes what made him into the person he is today.
It's part of his life story. He wasn't spawned as
a video game character on the day that you met.
(22:01):
I mean, come on, I mean I'd be surprised in
several years time you look back upon your decision and
come to regret it. Real relationships require working compromise. Are
you well within your rights to dump them for not
agreeing to your ultimatum or compromising on the issue. Yes,
when you get older and have to ask and make
bigger compromises to make a marriage work better. When you
(22:22):
look back at this and see it as a relatively
small heal to die on, probably also yes. And then
the final one, I think really hit it on the head.
Did he have fingernail clippings in there? Locks over their hair?
Let's just keep sick. You're crazy. He's lucky to be
rid of you.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
Yeah, No, real shit, right, black girl, Like I didn't.
It's just like that's very that was.
Speaker 3 (22:44):
That was someone who I respect for that because it's
just like he got to put his foot down on something.
It's just like, I feel like, I don't know this
was She's patty, you called up a I ain't what
a good man over a shoe bux bitch, you.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
Know, right, And it probably was a keyster where the
parents were paying for part of the wedding or something
like that there, So she threw away thousands and thousands
of dollars, you know over something stupid, stupid, stupid.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
Oh wait a minute, though she can't seem like she's
actually happy to not be married to him now, well
she's down, So maybe they just weren't meant to be
in the first place.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
There's another thing to be said about that, though. It's
kind of like, you know, what if this was the
biggest issue that they've dealt with after years, was it
worth breaking into the relationship over? Was it worth throwing
away all that time?
Speaker 1 (23:46):
Mm hm yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
So it's just like this and that's I think one
of the commenters actually said, there is kind of like
your look back in this and be like you're pregnant,
regret it, you.
Speaker 3 (23:56):
Know, well, yeah, because you're going to see that man
moving on with him his life and still becoming a
better man.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
Yeah, and you're gonna be left there with you know,
I broke up with him because you know he wouldn't
do this or that there you know.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
So anyways, and I hope he writes on there for her,
you know, rights on there for her and say, look,
she was a bitch.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
She was up saying she was a bitch. That's like
your favorite word.
Speaker 3 (24:32):
He's probably gonna write very nice things about her. But
then at the same time, be like, I let that go,
and I hope he does not make that. I hope
he does make this as a lesson as hold on
to what you feel is right, Yeah, you know what
I mean, like and and that that was a way
of that man growing.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
It's just like that was his past. Is a little
nostalgia that he wanted to.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
Key or just hide the box by the next time.
Speaker 3 (24:59):
I don't know, No, she to me, he shouldn't even
had to do that to me, this is gonna be
his wife. So but like I do look at that
a little bit like, bro, you could have simply just
been like look, I got this, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (25:13):
I'm marrying you, so you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (25:16):
But at the same time, you know, but at the
same time, when she found I think it was just
her finding it that made her trip out more than anything.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
The fact that she didn't know about it beforehand. It
was kind of like, you know, she was a little weird.
I buy it there, but you know, in this case
here then yeah, I think she could have reacted a
little better to it there once she was told what
it was, you know. So but ayham, believe it or not,
we've come up to the last story of the show.
(25:48):
I don't know why I give myself the longest stories
to read, but anyways, here goes.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
You do it all the time.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
Last episode of My God, that story was so long. Goodness,
it was funny as health.
Speaker 1 (26:01):
This aim is low, thank god.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
Anyways, Hello, it's been a long time since I posted
on Reddit, so it's been kind of shaky. I twenty
five female lost my best friend twenty five female seven
years just a few months ago. She'd blocked me on
every form of social media and cut all contact in
times with me. I know why. I know what happened
between the two of us and will give a long
explanation for context. She was like my sister, someone I
(26:25):
could rely on for anything, and she could rely on
me for anything. We spent multiple days a week together
and texted every single day. We told each other's secrets
and feelings. No one knew. One thing we did often
together was drink. Since become sobered, because it had definitely
gone out to hand quite a few times. We had
planned one night to drink a lot and play video
games and just hang out. That night, her and I
(26:48):
ended up sleeping together. She's a straight woman who was
waiting to save her first time for someone special. I've
had my first time, but it was an experience that
wasn't consensual. The next morning, she initiated the same interactions
again before driving home so I could go to work
that day. Everything was fuzzy for me and hazy, and
I was definitely still drunk that morning. However, I left
(27:11):
thinking everything was consensual considering her initiation. Next morning, walls
are drunking with me the entire time as well. I
remembered very little about the night, but I chalked it
up to us being too drunk to function. What I
do remember from that night is little to nothing. I
remember explicitly asking for her consent, into her consenting and
tell me she trusts me, her begging to touch me
(27:32):
and do certain things to me, me vomiting multiple times
throughout the night, and her being on top of me
for most of it. It was not something I planned
between the two of us. I ended up texting him
to let her know I was sorry for the night
and that she wanted her first time to be special.
There was also clarification that I felt that we were
both too drunk to consent to what the situation was.
(27:53):
She ended up asking me for a space, but clarified
she wanted to continue to be best friends and that
she still loves me. Say minutely, I did freak out.
I was so scared that she was going to leave
me definitely, or to sid she didn'tan't be friends anymore.
It was not the right reaction and it wasn't a
healthy reaction. And I know that she came to visit
me at work and had me sleep over her house
(28:15):
because of my own safety. I didn't ask her to
do these things, nor did I try to pressure her. However,
whenever she had me stay at her place, she did
try to speak with me about that night. She told
me that she had pushed me off of her multiple
times and that I had initiated the entire night. There
were also implications I had physically harmed her and had
(28:35):
pressure her into it. I was extremely confused, but more
than that, I was extremely upset. Immediately as profusely apologizing
and saying that I would leave her and let her
be if she wanted to stay, that I would sleep
in the living room so I was completely away from her.
She begged me to stay, begged me to sleep in
the same bed with her. I was confused by it all.
(28:57):
I was confused why she wanted to be near her.
I was confused why what I remembered in what she
said wasn't adding up, et cetera, and in voiced any
of that. I just let her speak and apologized. We
talked about therapy, and I tried to offer to go
to the therapy together as well as separately, but she refused.
She wanted to go on our own. I respected that.
She also told me she had told her mom about
(29:19):
the entire situation and that I wouldn't be able to
attend any of her pageants that she does or anything
that her mom would be attending as well. I asked
her if she had told our old roommates. She said no.
We went stilled together with three other people, but fell
apart after they bowled me out of the house after
I spoke up about my mental health. They continually talked
bad about me to my best friend and our mutual friends.
(29:41):
They'd also continuously make playlists about how I was durvillain
origin story and that I should die. She could see
friends with them. Yeah, I know this is getting quite
complicated here.
Speaker 1 (29:50):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (29:52):
She clarified later that she did want to try to
continue to be friends, that we would just hang out
less in the space we took and talk less, just
all fell apart. I tried my hardest to keep her
updated on me going the therapy and getting on stronger
men's from mental health. I texted her loss, asked to
see her less, tried to follow every boundary she set
or asked for. Every time we did see each other,
(30:14):
it was tense and was uncomfortable. It was obvious she
didn't wouldn't even be around me, and just hurt even more.
I apologized over and over. I tried everything to be
better and do better. I didn't even speak to my
own mind about what I remembered, how I was hurt
by the situation, or how uncomfortable and disgusting I felt.
I didn't want us to have that night together either.
(30:34):
It all foundly accumulated in me telling her how tense
it felt, but I wanted us to try and find
middle grand that felt comfortable. She didn't respond to me
for days until she sent me one long text about
how she loves me one day wants to see me again.
She immediately blocked me after sending it. It broked me.
It felt awful that she didn't tell me in person.
That is always kept thinking. Fast forward to now, four
(30:57):
months later. It still stings, still hurts more than I
could say. She posts with our old roommates now constantly
call them their best friends. It feels like a knife
to the gut every time I see it. I think
her all the nights she would talk to about them,
and how she thinks they're ugly or off with people,
or how their family hates them. I just want to
move on and feel better and not feel like I'm
(31:17):
falling apart every time she posts something like that. She
also continues to post about being sexually assaulted. How do
I move on from this and feel comfortable letting people
in again? Am I ever reacting in the situation? Was
I the bad guy? You're looking at me like, this
is quite the story.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
They had one night?
Speaker 3 (31:40):
Yeah, were they both were drunk and talk to cave,
didn't even know what was going on, and they did
something and they.
Speaker 1 (31:53):
I'm trying to understand this because.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
It's one of those cases there where kind of like
people belike and well, I'm not going to sleep with
you there because probably it we're in the friendship, you know, right,
But in this case here, then it was kind of
like I think that they, you know, her roommate had
feelings for her, you know, with how conflicted.
Speaker 1 (32:13):
I think she had feelings for her and she couldn't
handle it and she rather.
Speaker 2 (32:17):
Be away from her than to deal with it, right.
Speaker 3 (32:20):
Yeah, And I don't like the simple fact she's going
around saying she was sexually or like her. I'm starting
to feel like she was digressor. Really like the way
that story went. She was like, I just don't remember anything.
I feel like I'm like.
Speaker 2 (32:34):
Did she get you know, I feel like there's some
gaslighting going on here. You know, I feel like she was.
She's trying to change it so she's not the villain
in the story.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
Well we know that.
Speaker 3 (32:48):
But I'm starting to think, like I'm thinking a little
deeper in this, and I can I go to just
a little deeper inness like I do wonder if she was.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
Drugged by the other person.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
Hmmm, I could be wrong.
Speaker 3 (33:08):
I mean, you know what I mean, I'm just thinking
that she's like, I just don't remember anything, you know,
and then what's her name? Is breaking up the story
and she seems that I almost remember remember every goddamn thing.
Speaker 2 (33:23):
But in a completely different way than the other person
remembers it.
Speaker 3 (33:28):
Yeah, it's see what I mean, It's like or she
knew she was a little more I wouldn't even say
she probably was rough. Maybe she just knew she was
even a little more intoxicated than she was.
Speaker 2 (33:39):
Yeah, and but the fact that she was throughout the night,
it's a good sign that she was pretty intoxicated, you know,
she I.
Speaker 1 (33:49):
Think she I don't know. I just feel like this
situation is crazy.
Speaker 2 (33:56):
This is a crazy situation, right, But yeah, I mean
it's one of those things that I think, personally, I
think they should spend some time apart, and then maybe
later on there you know, start talking again, you know,
because they.
Speaker 3 (34:12):
Leave her the fuck alone. Stay away from her because
this is where I'm coming from. Stay away from her
because I feel like she's she's a gas lighter.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
Yeah, And the way she went.
Speaker 3 (34:23):
About that whole situation just gave off to me more
guilty than innocent, because now she's going off I was,
I'm not trying to. I don't know, I don't know.
I don't want to put down anybody for us, well
essay at all.
Speaker 1 (34:39):
Ever.
Speaker 2 (34:40):
You know, one of the comments that actually kind of
hit it on the head there a little bit and
kind of I mean so, and she actually responded to
that comment there the commenter said, she may be ashamed
that she's by m hmm, and then the poster of
that responded back, I've had quite a people say the
(35:00):
same thing. There's been a few points when we were
drinking that made me think that one time she had
said that we were married and had a baby in
every lifetime together, or that she would be with me
this time. I didn't like men more than women. I'm queer,
but I lean more towards liking men, so I think
basically she's conflicted. You know, something finally did happen there,
(35:23):
she felt guilty about it. There. She then started gaslighting
her into thinking that, you know, you're the one who
abused me quote unquote, yeah, you know, and it just
became a big master and basically she washed her hands
of it there, Yeah, because she felt guilty. You know,
her friend's even worse mental state that she possibly could have.
(35:44):
You know.
Speaker 3 (35:45):
But it's just like even with just I don't know,
just the way she went about the whole situation, I
didn't like it, yeah, because I felt she was just
making her out to be the bad person, but then
wanting her to be close.
Speaker 1 (35:59):
And it was that dear, you know what I mean.
It was that dear, you're putting her down, but you
don't want her to leave.
Speaker 2 (36:07):
Right Yeah, So not about it's very conflicted.
Speaker 3 (36:12):
You know, at least if that happened to you, you
would never want to be around that person, right Yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:19):
And yeah, it's just a complete mess of a situation there.
And I think, you know, I mean, yeah, I don't
think drinking helps matters out at all. And that's why
you shouldn't drink.
Speaker 1 (36:32):
It's not even just you shouldn't drink. You just have
enjoy yourself, but just be responsibly.
Speaker 2 (36:39):
Like, you know, at least how learn how to drink responsibly.
Speaker 1 (36:41):
You know.
Speaker 3 (36:42):
And if you're going to have a crazy night like that,
just please make sure you just be careful.
Speaker 1 (36:47):
Please. You don't know what you're going to get yourself into, right,
you know.
Speaker 2 (36:56):
But anyways, yeah, so we go on all day about
this story.
Speaker 1 (37:02):
But dad, this story was wild as hell. I'm just
like the man.
Speaker 2 (37:07):
Oh lord, right, But anyways, thanks once again for checking
out the Jovelosi Show. Make sure the subscribe just showing
your favorite podcast app to listen on demand so you
don't miss an episode, and for access to our our websites,
visit us at jovelosity dot com. Thanks for listening and
have a good one.
Your dive into the wild, weird, and wonderfully messy world
of Reddit. This is the Joe Velocity Show.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
And welcome to the Joe Velocity Show. I am Joe,
and I never introduced myself. People think my name is
Joe Velocity and it's not. It's Joe and I'm here
with hubbah Hi.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
Hello.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Hello, So doing this a little differently today you're actually
not here with me, but you're sitting in your nice,
humble abode. Well, thank you with the new Earth.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
Mm hmm, got a good deal.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
And speaking of leaks now, of course, yesterday I went
to bed, and right before the bed, I went to
the bathroom and would you know it, there I had
water in my bathroom, just not the water that I
normally generate there, but like I had water on my counter,
I had water on the windows, so I had water
on the floor. I had water on the on the
(01:13):
shelf behind the toilet or whatever it's called. Turns out
the toilet above me and the apartment above me flooded
and then started dripping down the wall, so thankfully didn't
damage anything. I just had to wind up all the
water there. But it was just kind of annoying it
was just like, oh god, right, and uh yeah, so.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
It's always something, right, there's always something. But like you said,
thank god it didn't damage anything. But I know it
was nerve wracking have to draw that shit up, you know,
just come on, you know, the drive all at water,
and you know, thank god nothing got damaged.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Was your leak particularly bad?
Speaker 1 (01:51):
Whenever it happened, it wasn't bad. It was just like
it was just leaking in the corner.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
Okay, I only had it happened one time, you know,
So I put the bucket there and I'm like, uh huh,
that's awkward. And that's when I, you know, would and
looked into it and come and find out I.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Had to get a new room. Oh god, I didn't
have to get a new roof.
Speaker 3 (02:10):
I could have got things patched because of the weather,
the storm damage, like, you know, so I could have
got that, but but they were like, you're going to
have to replace it within one or three years.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Yeah. So it was kind of like I do it
now or do it later, you know, so do it now, right,
get it all done with her, and have no money
for the rest of the year.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
But it was right, you know.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
So anyways, I just want to let you know here
this episode we're gonna do am I overreacting, which is
a little bit different than am I the asshole? M Yeah,
the start is a little bit different there, but they're
kind of in the same vein.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
Also too, before I forget, I was apologized to my
mom because in the last show we came back out
of the commercial break and it's like, thank god, I'm
not doing these episodes with my mom. My mom took
offense to that.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
Oh he didn't mean it like that, and I thought.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
I have it all.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Oh, I love my mom.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
He loves you, mommy, and I love you too.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
But after having done four episodes with her there, it's
kind of like when those things are were Basically, whenever
you're doing an episode with your mother, you have to
watch your mouth. So h but you know, so I
can't be as quote unquote free as I want to be,
Like I can't be with you right right, and so
in this case, then yeah, that's really all I meant
(03:27):
by that. So one other thing to mention there too,
is that I added a new thing onto the website
joe velocitieshow dot com that if you want to give
an email every time a new episode is released, there's
a milling list you can sign up for on the
main page. You just put in your first name, last name,
and then your email a dress, And what what happened
(03:47):
is is that every time we release a new episode,
it basically will send you an email and we'll have
it like a link to the actual episode there on
the website.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
Right, So it's a nice way that just be reminded
there just in case you forget so. Yeah, but anyways,
let's go ahead here and let's get into the first story.
Am I over reacting, particularly recording my boyfriend because I
thought he was gaslighting me?
Speaker 3 (04:14):
So I'm sorry secretly recording him. Yeah, I don't like that.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
Well, anyways, there's a reason why. So the story goes,
I twenty six female, started feeling like I was losing
my mind around my boyfriend who's twenty nine, and mil
I tell him things we agreed upon, plans, conversations, and
even arguments, and he swear they never happened. He got
to the point I started recording our conversations, nothing evasive,
(04:44):
just when we talk about something important like bills or plans.
Last week, he tried to tell me I never asked
him to pick up my sister from the airport, but
I had the recording clear as day of him agreeing
to it. When I played it, he freaked out, said
I was violating his trust in acting paranoid total I
felt like I was being gas lit. For months, he
packed a bag and went to his brother's, telling our
(05:04):
friends I spy on him. Everyone's telling me I'm unhinged
and went too far. But I was genuinely starting to
question my own memory before I started recording. Am I
over reacting?
Speaker 3 (05:17):
Oh I'm caught and I'm caught in between this one
Like it's yeah, that's definitely invading his privacy. But at
the same time I could get her trying to prove
her point.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Yes, exactly, that's that's exactly what I was gonna say.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
Up there, making it like she just don't know what
she'd be talking about. I don't like that neither. It's like,
maybe she needs to leave him the hell alone.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
How about that?
Speaker 2 (05:44):
Well, let me give you a personal example there with
my sword dating life. There. You know, my most recent
X of four years would do that to me all
the time. You know, basically we'll be talking about going
ahead there and doing something and then I would bring
it up to and then be like, no, I never
said that, Yes you did. This went on for years,
(06:06):
you know, I never went as far as recording them.
But in this case here, I can understand why she
recorded him. And honestly it's not a bad idea now
to think about it, but yeah, it's one of the
situations there where you know, if she's proving that he
(06:27):
gasped at her, then she has a point, you know, right,
So I would think here that you know, I don't
think she's the asshole at all. I kind of disagree
with you there, you know.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
No, I don't. I don't think. I don't think she
is that.
Speaker 3 (06:44):
Like I'm not saying, like I get and understand someone's privacy,
you know what I mean, Like, I get that, but
this is supposed to be what his girlfriend is.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
Yeah, basically, you know, basically it's from the girl, the
girlfriend's perspective there, Hey, he's been gassing me. I think
he's been gaslighting me. Someone record him and catch him
in the act of gas slighting me.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
M yeah, And she caught him, And I mean, she
really did have to do what she had to do.
But the way he's kind of going about it and
like making her out to be like this, you know,
like bad person for it, and like, oh she's a spy.
She's just yeah, that to me, that's overreacting, Like that's reacting.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
So something like I'm gaslighting you. It's kind of like, oh,
you recorded me, you're spying. I mean blah blah blah
blah blah.
Speaker 3 (07:38):
And it's like bruh, it's not that deep though, like
that shit girl, Like it's like come on now.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Then you're going around saying, oh, she is spye.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
I think that's a little too much because I kind
of get where she's coming from.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Like it's just like you keep gas like me, you know,
you keep and.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
And like.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
I was even thinking like maybe he has a forgetful memory. Yeah,
well you know some people do you know.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
There was one of the comments here that kind of
really hit it on the head there. He is an
offensive as a defensive tactic, it often works. She caught
me cheating, stealing, lying, whatever, So accuse you being controlling
or some other abuse to cancel oup my fence in
the redirect and project. I think that comment really hit
it right on the head there.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Yeah, yeah, I think so too.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
So also too, and our person said, back up the
rest of the things and have it waiting for him
at the door. It's been gas letting you. He's mad
because he got caught. He's messing with your psyche and
your piece. That's not okay.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
Leave him the fuck alone.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
So she went ahead and responded, I usually think people
in comments are too to tell people to throw away
their relationships, but in this situation, this is exactly the
right advice. So yeah, the last commenter said, it's also
what long COVID looks like for a lot of people,
just crushes their memory. I think they're being a little
too kind there. I think it's just being asshole, you know,
(09:01):
That's what it comes down to.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
You feel some way.
Speaker 3 (09:11):
Oh y'all should see his face right now as he's
looking like, no, he's just being the ass Yeah, Like
it's in his face he's feeling that.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
Of course, this is coming from somebody who's never had COVID.
I swear I'm the only person, wow, in the world
who's never had COVID.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
Ever whoa COVID.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
So you had COVID once? My parents had it, and
I was around them a few days before it happened.
So it was kind of surprising that I never actually
got it. So so I don't know exactly what exactly happened,
but I guess I got lucky, you know. Yeah, that's
all I have to say there. But watch me, like,
you know, two months from now, you know, during Christmas. Oh,
I got COVID right, Everybody's like, huh, how do you
(09:57):
do that?
Speaker 1 (09:58):
Right? No?
Speaker 2 (09:59):
See, anyways, let's go ahead here and we'll get on
to the second story. Am I overreacting? Who needs enemies
when you have family? My aunt harvested my garden and
Mom let her do it. So there's a picture in
that dock there and all, and I'll actually put it
on the website.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
Vegetables.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Yeah, this is all the vegetables here, So it kind
of gives you an idea of what we're looking at here.
I spent six months growing my garden, planning it, watering it,
taking care of it, watching it grow something successful. I
built from and poured so much into that. My mom
helped me expand and plant it in the ground. And
I come home today at the end of the growing
season to see it basically bagged up and wiped out.
(10:42):
My drama loving aunt, who I stay away from his
visiting from the city and decided the harvest about seventy
five percent of it without asking. And my mom just
let her do it, didn't stop her, didn't text or
warm me, just let it happen and probably encouraged that
abuld mix a pity in a history of bad influence.
Then my aunt has to nerve to brag to me
that she took all of it and give it to
(11:02):
her neighbors like it was hers to take. I'm beyond disappointed,
but mostly I'm just dumbest leveled ignorance. I don't even
care to say anything because I'm so shocked and annoyed
at the lack of care for my feelings and my
hard work. I won't waste my time teaching grown adults
basic respect.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
He is disrespectful.
Speaker 3 (11:20):
That was just like, come on, now, you knew you
was going You did that specifically to mess with her,
and I'm sorry. Just described how messed up she really
is to.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
Me, right exactly, you know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (11:33):
So no, absolutely not. That is your guard and that's
something you worked hard on. Look at these vegetables. They
looked so good, and it's just like, wow, like you
just took all her dag on food seventy five.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
Percent of it.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
Yeah, like when you're looking at this disrespectful, like here's
basically like three like gallay no food.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
I'm sorry, A.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
Ton of tomatoes and stuff like that. I mean usually
whenever people grow stuff in a garden, like my parents
will grow stuff in the garden, they're constantly trying to
pawn stuff off on me, like they want do you
want this? Do you want that? I'm like, sure, yeah,
because I live in an apartment. I don't have a garden,
you know, So it's basically matter. I appreciate what they
give me there, but I don't sit there and be like,
(12:19):
you know, I want it all and I want it now,
you know, which just sounds like you know literally what
her ant did. Anyways, the comments were not kind towards
the ant.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
Well, of course not. I don't expect that.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
Make it clear in an SMS or a text message
that you let them know they had no permission to
do it, and get their response. Follow a police report
for damage and theft. If you're extra petty, take them
on a small claims court for restitution and be sure
the value your labored time. Appropriately the judge will decide
what is fair. If they don't show up, you went
(12:54):
by default, they don't pay you, you can have their wages,
gardenish to put a lean on their house. God, I mean,
I'm not sure if I would do that over some
vegetables there, but Jesus Christ, you know they're going too
for right now. Our president said I'd no advice and
helping new past. I just wanted you to get your
stuff back. Wouldn't let her take it. That just so
(13:14):
fucked up, And I feel absolutely defeated for you. That
produces beautiful and looks like it took so much work.
Then the last one, I kind of think really hit
it on the head. Honestly, this kind of shows what
Judge Judy lives for. I would love to see this
play out on Judy Justice. Right, did you know what
those shows that actually basically the way that they work
(13:37):
is that both people have to dismiss their case in
regular court and Judy or Judge Judy or Judy Justice
or wherever the hell it is nowadays, she's actually an arbitrator.
So actually what you're looking at is arbitration, and no
matter who wins or loses, the show pays the cost.
(14:01):
So these people aren't out anything there. So for example,
she makes a judgment for five thousand dollars with just
the limit for like the planet for the defendant. The
show pays that, so they don't worry about that. Yeah, right,
And honestly, it's actually cheaper to produce in a lot
of other shows. We're fact did you know that? No?
Speaker 1 (14:24):
Yeah, not none of that.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
People's Court was like that to the justice and all
these court shows. That's why they've been so popular on
TV is that because of the fact that they're not
that expensive to produce and that the actual show itself
pays the cost of the court judgments.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
So you figured you're just always in that down.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
You know, so they could be like, you know what, yeah,
we're raring a little high in the budget there make
the judgment smaller, right, So yeah, it's absolutely amazing. You
know how fake reality TV is? You know.
Speaker 3 (15:01):
It is?
Speaker 2 (15:01):
It is so sorry the burst your bubble with that
one there too.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
No, no, no good.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
But anyways, we're gonna head in the break. But before that,
I wanted to talk about something real quick. Most places
online sell coffee. They sell caffeinated coffee. You know, That's
the reason why most people drink coffee is because it's caffeinated.
They want to boost, they want to pick me up. However,
(15:30):
I can't drink caffeinated coffee. My cardiologist was like, Nope,
can't do it anymore. So I switched to decaf coffee.
And everybody's like, well, you know, why do you like
the calf coffee? Well, I like to taste the coffee,
and I know some people don't like to taste the coffee,
like you, for example, I know you like iced coffee
every once in a while, but you know, so basically,
(15:53):
now instead of treating it like a pick me up,
I treat it like a dessert, you know, out like dinner,
and then I'll have a cup of coffee. So the
problem is is that with decaf coffee, it's hard to
find on the stores. It's like you'll find all this
caffeinated coffee. Then you'll find like one package your calf
and that would be it.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
It'd be like somewhere where you can even hardly.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
See it, right exactly, Yeah, it'll be buried, you know,
because nobody wants.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
Decalp it just like a couple one now.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
But basically, there is a new company called save a
Resta Coffee and they offer premium craft decaf and half
calf blends with bold flavors. The ethnic source their beans,
and they're inentially decaffeinated because some times whenever they make
decaf coffee, basically they take rather coffee and remove the
caffeine from it. They use like, you know, chemicals to
(16:49):
do it there. But in this case then they actually
decaf their stuff with water and other natural stuff there
So in a small batch roast it for a sceptional taste.
And guess what because save twenty five percent off with
my promo code joe Velocity. Nice they've ever reached that
dot com? Yeah, so, anyways, exactly, Yeah, so so that
(17:14):
way then it won't be like, oh my god, checking
my boots. Anyways, bring your head here. We're gonna take
a break and we'll be right back with more than
the Joe Velossi Show after this, and welcome back to
(17:39):
the Joe Velossi Show. So anyways, yeah, so this is
the first time you and I have done this with.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
You being remote and yeah, I'm comfortable sitting.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
In your gaming share. I'm sitting in my office chair,
not that my not that my apartment's uncomfortable. And you
you have a nice chair that sit in whenever you're here.
M so, But I must say there there is something
with being in person and talking to people, you know, yeah,
and then also talking to people in the zoom. It's
a little bit different with you and I. It doesn't
(18:12):
like it's that much different, you know.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
Right, it does, you know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (18:16):
It just comes natural with us. That's pretty That's what's up.
Like that chemistry, man, we just have that. That's what's up.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
Yay, chemistry.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
Chemistry. You gotta need that chemistry now HOMEO.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
Anyways, were ahead to get with the third story? Here?
Am I overreacting for calling off my wedding after finding
out my fiance had a breakup box of his exes.
I twenty nine female, caught off my wedding three weeks
before the date, and when things I've lost it. My
fiance Liam, who's thirty mal have been together for four years,
(19:00):
engaged for one Things were good until last months when
I was packing up some of his old boxes to
move into our new apartment. I found a small bus
shoe box labeled breakups, insider photos, letters, little gifts, all
from his exes. But what made me sick was that
he had. He had written notes about each one of them,
things like still the best laugh I've ever had, or
(19:21):
if we met later, maybe it would have worked. He
even had a drive fled from one of his first dates.
I'm confronted him. He said it was just a record
of lessons learned. He said, I shouldn't snoop, and then
I was overreacting to nostalgia. I tried to move on,
but I couldn't stop thinking about it. He's planning to
marry me, but still keeping momentous of other women and
documenting how they made him feel. So I told him
(19:43):
I couldn't go through with the wedding until he got
rid of the box. He refused, said it's a part
of his history. So I called the whole thing off.
Now my family's furious and says, I threw away a
good man over a box of memories. But I can't
imagine building a life with someone who reminiscences his past
like that. Am I of her reacting? You're sitting there
(20:09):
like a giving you a hard story there?
Speaker 1 (20:13):
Huh? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (20:14):
Because I don't. I think she kind of is. Yes,
I think she's not kind of she is. I think
I think she is overreacting because it's just like it's
his lessons he learned, like from being able to like
if I was this, if I could have been this,
then maybe would have been better, but it didn't happen
(20:35):
that way, and life moves on. That's pretty I actually
like that because he's learning his lessons from every ex
he had, you know what I mean, even learning things
about himself or them.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
Like it's just like, come on that to me. To me,
I look at that as she should be proud of
her man wanting to be a better.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
Man exactly, something like you know all the time, I'm sorry, Yeah,
So like he's talking to his ex's all the time.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
Yeah, he ain't talking to them broad.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
Yeah, it's like, hey, we're gonna go out, me and
my ex.
Speaker 1 (21:09):
You know, he wanted a fund memory of them what
she got.
Speaker 3 (21:13):
And that's healthy too, if you think about it, it's
it's pretty healthy.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
It's not like he's out for revenge or talking down
about him.
Speaker 3 (21:22):
Or you know what I mean, because you know that's
I didn't get that from this story that he was
talking down about him.
Speaker 1 (21:29):
Yeah, you know what I mean. So I think that's healthy.
I like him. I like him and then she did
the way a good man yet dom Broud, that was stupid.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
The comments agreed with you and I you're over reacting
on momentus and past relationships, and I'm happily married. It's
a shoe box on a plaque on the mantle, absolutely unhinged.
His passes what made him into the person he is today.
It's part of his life story. He wasn't spawned as
a video game character on the day that you met.
(22:01):
I mean, come on, I mean I'd be surprised in
several years time you look back upon your decision and
come to regret it. Real relationships require working compromise. Are
you well within your rights to dump them for not
agreeing to your ultimatum or compromising on the issue. Yes,
when you get older and have to ask and make
bigger compromises to make a marriage work better. When you
(22:22):
look back at this and see it as a relatively
small heal to die on, probably also yes. And then
the final one, I think really hit it on the head.
Did he have fingernail clippings in there? Locks over their hair?
Let's just keep sick. You're crazy. He's lucky to be
rid of you.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
Yeah, No, real shit, right, black girl, Like I didn't.
It's just like that's very that was.
Speaker 3 (22:44):
That was someone who I respect for that because it's
just like he got to put his foot down on something.
It's just like, I feel like, I don't know this
was She's patty, you called up a I ain't what
a good man over a shoe bux bitch, you.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
Know, right, And it probably was a keyster where the
parents were paying for part of the wedding or something
like that there, So she threw away thousands and thousands
of dollars, you know over something stupid, stupid, stupid.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
Oh wait a minute, though she can't seem like she's
actually happy to not be married to him now, well
she's down, So maybe they just weren't meant to be
in the first place.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
There's another thing to be said about that, though. It's
kind of like, you know, what if this was the
biggest issue that they've dealt with after years, was it
worth breaking into the relationship over? Was it worth throwing
away all that time?
Speaker 1 (23:46):
Mm hm yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
So it's just like this and that's I think one
of the commenters actually said, there is kind of like
your look back in this and be like you're pregnant,
regret it, you.
Speaker 3 (23:56):
Know, well, yeah, because you're going to see that man
moving on with him his life and still becoming a
better man.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
Yeah, and you're gonna be left there with you know,
I broke up with him because you know he wouldn't
do this or that there you know.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
So anyways, and I hope he writes on there for her,
you know, rights on there for her and say, look,
she was a bitch.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
She was up saying she was a bitch. That's like
your favorite word.
Speaker 3 (24:32):
He's probably gonna write very nice things about her. But
then at the same time, be like, I let that go,
and I hope he does not make that. I hope
he does make this as a lesson as hold on
to what you feel is right, Yeah, you know what
I mean, like and and that that was a way
of that man growing.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
It's just like that was his past. Is a little
nostalgia that he wanted to.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
Key or just hide the box by the next time.
Speaker 3 (24:59):
I don't know, No, she to me, he shouldn't even
had to do that to me, this is gonna be
his wife. So but like I do look at that
a little bit like, bro, you could have simply just
been like look, I got this, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (25:13):
I'm marrying you, so you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (25:16):
But at the same time, you know, but at the
same time, when she found I think it was just
her finding it that made her trip out more than anything.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
The fact that she didn't know about it beforehand. It
was kind of like, you know, she was a little weird.
I buy it there, but you know, in this case
here then yeah, I think she could have reacted a
little better to it there once she was told what
it was, you know. So but ayham, believe it or not,
we've come up to the last story of the show.
(25:48):
I don't know why I give myself the longest stories
to read, but anyways, here goes.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
You do it all the time.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
Last episode of My God, that story was so long. Goodness,
it was funny as health.
Speaker 1 (26:01):
This aim is low, thank god.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
Anyways, Hello, it's been a long time since I posted
on Reddit, so it's been kind of shaky. I twenty
five female lost my best friend twenty five female seven
years just a few months ago. She'd blocked me on
every form of social media and cut all contact in
times with me. I know why. I know what happened
between the two of us and will give a long
explanation for context. She was like my sister, someone I
(26:25):
could rely on for anything, and she could rely on
me for anything. We spent multiple days a week together
and texted every single day. We told each other's secrets
and feelings. No one knew. One thing we did often
together was drink. Since become sobered, because it had definitely
gone out to hand quite a few times. We had
planned one night to drink a lot and play video
games and just hang out. That night, her and I
(26:48):
ended up sleeping together. She's a straight woman who was
waiting to save her first time for someone special. I've
had my first time, but it was an experience that
wasn't consensual. The next morning, she initiated the same interactions
again before driving home so I could go to work
that day. Everything was fuzzy for me and hazy, and
I was definitely still drunk that morning. However, I left
(27:11):
thinking everything was consensual considering her initiation. Next morning, walls
are drunking with me the entire time as well. I
remembered very little about the night, but I chalked it
up to us being too drunk to function. What I
do remember from that night is little to nothing. I
remember explicitly asking for her consent, into her consenting and
tell me she trusts me, her begging to touch me
(27:32):
and do certain things to me, me vomiting multiple times
throughout the night, and her being on top of me
for most of it. It was not something I planned
between the two of us. I ended up texting him
to let her know I was sorry for the night
and that she wanted her first time to be special.
There was also clarification that I felt that we were
both too drunk to consent to what the situation was.
(27:53):
She ended up asking me for a space, but clarified
she wanted to continue to be best friends and that
she still loves me. Say minutely, I did freak out.
I was so scared that she was going to leave
me definitely, or to sid she didn'tan't be friends anymore.
It was not the right reaction and it wasn't a
healthy reaction. And I know that she came to visit
me at work and had me sleep over her house
(28:15):
because of my own safety. I didn't ask her to
do these things, nor did I try to pressure her. However,
whenever she had me stay at her place, she did
try to speak with me about that night. She told
me that she had pushed me off of her multiple
times and that I had initiated the entire night. There
were also implications I had physically harmed her and had
(28:35):
pressure her into it. I was extremely confused, but more
than that, I was extremely upset. Immediately as profusely apologizing
and saying that I would leave her and let her
be if she wanted to stay, that I would sleep
in the living room so I was completely away from her.
She begged me to stay, begged me to sleep in
the same bed with her. I was confused by it all.
(28:57):
I was confused why she wanted to be near her.
I was confused why what I remembered in what she
said wasn't adding up, et cetera, and in voiced any
of that. I just let her speak and apologized. We
talked about therapy, and I tried to offer to go
to the therapy together as well as separately, but she refused.
She wanted to go on our own. I respected that.
She also told me she had told her mom about
(29:19):
the entire situation and that I wouldn't be able to
attend any of her pageants that she does or anything
that her mom would be attending as well. I asked
her if she had told our old roommates. She said no.
We went stilled together with three other people, but fell
apart after they bowled me out of the house after
I spoke up about my mental health. They continually talked
bad about me to my best friend and our mutual friends.
(29:41):
They'd also continuously make playlists about how I was durvillain
origin story and that I should die. She could see
friends with them. Yeah, I know this is getting quite
complicated here.
Speaker 1 (29:50):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (29:52):
She clarified later that she did want to try to
continue to be friends, that we would just hang out
less in the space we took and talk less, just
all fell apart. I tried my hardest to keep her
updated on me going the therapy and getting on stronger
men's from mental health. I texted her loss, asked to
see her less, tried to follow every boundary she set
or asked for. Every time we did see each other,
(30:14):
it was tense and was uncomfortable. It was obvious she
didn't wouldn't even be around me, and just hurt even more.
I apologized over and over. I tried everything to be
better and do better. I didn't even speak to my
own mind about what I remembered, how I was hurt
by the situation, or how uncomfortable and disgusting I felt.
I didn't want us to have that night together either.
(30:34):
It all foundly accumulated in me telling her how tense
it felt, but I wanted us to try and find
middle grand that felt comfortable. She didn't respond to me
for days until she sent me one long text about
how she loves me one day wants to see me again.
She immediately blocked me after sending it. It broked me.
It felt awful that she didn't tell me in person.
That is always kept thinking. Fast forward to now, four
(30:57):
months later. It still stings, still hurts more than I
could say. She posts with our old roommates now constantly
call them their best friends. It feels like a knife
to the gut every time I see it. I think
her all the nights she would talk to about them,
and how she thinks they're ugly or off with people,
or how their family hates them. I just want to
move on and feel better and not feel like I'm
(31:17):
falling apart every time she posts something like that. She
also continues to post about being sexually assaulted. How do
I move on from this and feel comfortable letting people
in again? Am I ever reacting in the situation? Was
I the bad guy? You're looking at me like, this
is quite the story.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
They had one night?
Speaker 3 (31:40):
Yeah, were they both were drunk and talk to cave,
didn't even know what was going on, and they did
something and they.
Speaker 1 (31:53):
I'm trying to understand this because.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
It's one of those cases there where kind of like
people belike and well, I'm not going to sleep with
you there because probably it we're in the friendship, you know, right,
But in this case here, then it was kind of
like I think that they, you know, her roommate had
feelings for her, you know, with how conflicted.
Speaker 1 (32:13):
I think she had feelings for her and she couldn't
handle it and she rather.
Speaker 2 (32:17):
Be away from her than to deal with it, right.
Speaker 3 (32:20):
Yeah, And I don't like the simple fact she's going
around saying she was sexually or like her. I'm starting
to feel like she was digressor. Really like the way
that story went. She was like, I just don't remember anything.
I feel like I'm like.
Speaker 2 (32:34):
Did she get you know, I feel like there's some
gaslighting going on here. You know, I feel like she was.
She's trying to change it so she's not the villain
in the story.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
Well we know that.
Speaker 3 (32:48):
But I'm starting to think, like I'm thinking a little
deeper in this, and I can I go to just
a little deeper inness like I do wonder if she was.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
Drugged by the other person.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
Hmmm, I could be wrong.
Speaker 3 (33:08):
I mean, you know what I mean, I'm just thinking
that she's like, I just don't remember anything, you know,
and then what's her name? Is breaking up the story
and she seems that I almost remember remember every goddamn thing.
Speaker 2 (33:23):
But in a completely different way than the other person
remembers it.
Speaker 3 (33:28):
Yeah, it's see what I mean, It's like or she
knew she was a little more I wouldn't even say
she probably was rough. Maybe she just knew she was
even a little more intoxicated than she was.
Speaker 2 (33:39):
Yeah, and but the fact that she was throughout the night,
it's a good sign that she was pretty intoxicated, you know,
she I.
Speaker 1 (33:49):
Think she I don't know. I just feel like this
situation is crazy.
Speaker 2 (33:56):
This is a crazy situation, right, But yeah, I mean
it's one of those things that I think, personally, I
think they should spend some time apart, and then maybe
later on there you know, start talking again, you know,
because they.
Speaker 3 (34:12):
Leave her the fuck alone. Stay away from her because
this is where I'm coming from. Stay away from her
because I feel like she's she's a gas lighter.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
Yeah, And the way she went.
Speaker 3 (34:23):
About that whole situation just gave off to me more
guilty than innocent, because now she's going off I was,
I'm not trying to. I don't know, I don't know.
I don't want to put down anybody for us, well
essay at all.
Speaker 1 (34:39):
Ever.
Speaker 2 (34:40):
You know, one of the comments that actually kind of
hit it on the head there a little bit and
kind of I mean so, and she actually responded to
that comment there the commenter said, she may be ashamed
that she's by m hmm, and then the poster of
that responded back, I've had quite a people say the
(35:00):
same thing. There's been a few points when we were
drinking that made me think that one time she had
said that we were married and had a baby in
every lifetime together, or that she would be with me
this time. I didn't like men more than women. I'm queer,
but I lean more towards liking men, so I think
basically she's conflicted. You know, something finally did happen there,
(35:23):
she felt guilty about it. There. She then started gaslighting
her into thinking that, you know, you're the one who
abused me quote unquote, yeah, you know, and it just
became a big master and basically she washed her hands
of it there, Yeah, because she felt guilty. You know,
her friend's even worse mental state that she possibly could have.
(35:44):
You know.
Speaker 3 (35:45):
But it's just like even with just I don't know,
just the way she went about the whole situation, I
didn't like it, yeah, because I felt she was just
making her out to be the bad person, but then
wanting her to be close.
Speaker 1 (35:59):
And it was that dear, you know what I mean.
It was that dear, you're putting her down, but you
don't want her to leave.
Speaker 2 (36:07):
Right Yeah, So not about it's very conflicted.
Speaker 3 (36:12):
You know, at least if that happened to you, you
would never want to be around that person, right Yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:19):
And yeah, it's just a complete mess of a situation there.
And I think, you know, I mean, yeah, I don't
think drinking helps matters out at all. And that's why
you shouldn't drink.
Speaker 1 (36:32):
It's not even just you shouldn't drink. You just have
enjoy yourself, but just be responsibly.
Speaker 2 (36:39):
Like, you know, at least how learn how to drink responsibly.
Speaker 1 (36:41):
You know.
Speaker 3 (36:42):
And if you're going to have a crazy night like that,
just please make sure you just be careful.
Speaker 1 (36:47):
Please. You don't know what you're going to get yourself into, right,
you know.
Speaker 2 (36:56):
But anyways, yeah, so we go on all day about
this story.
Speaker 1 (37:02):
But dad, this story was wild as hell. I'm just
like the man.
Speaker 2 (37:07):
Oh lord, right, But anyways, thanks once again for checking
out the Jovelosi Show. Make sure the subscribe just showing
your favorite podcast app to listen on demand so you
don't miss an episode, and for access to our our websites,
visit us at jovelosity dot com. Thanks for listening and
have a good one.
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