September 22, 2025 • 32 mins
(00:00:00) We read Reddit Stories: Unexpected News and the Pet Love Paradox
(00:00:49) Intro
(00:04:10) AITA for snapping at my husband that he needs to get over his ADHD quirk?
(00:11:42) AITA for not wanting my daughter’s party turned into a pregnancy announcement?
(00:19:23) AITA for accepting an $800 reward for a lost cat?
(00:26:07) AITA for expecting my girlfriend to help with our flights home for a funeral?
On the 8th episode of The Joevelocity Show, Joe is joined by his mother Sharon, and we discuss some r/AITA parties stories from Reddit.
• AITA for snapping at my husband that he needs to get over his ADHD quirk?
Starting off, we explore a fascinating scenario where a listener shares a story about her husband's sensitivity to the sound of her blinking, potentially linked to his ADHD or misophonia. We unpack the complexities of living with ADHD and how it can affect relationships, especially when unusual sensitivities arise. While the husband's sensitivity seems extreme, it's acknowledged as a real issue, possibly exacerbated by stress or the cessation of medication. We also discuss potential solutions, such as therapy, medication, and practical measures like earplugs, emphasizing the importance of communication and understanding in managing such challenges. Throughout, we reflect on personal experiences with similar sensitivities, such as noisy chewing, and highlight the need for mutual empathy and coping strategies.
• AITA for not wanting my daughter’s party turned into a pregnancy announcement?
Next, we explore a family dilemma where a woman is concerned about her brother-in-law's plan to announce his girlfriend's pregnancy at her daughter's second birthday party. She fears the announcement will overshadow her daughter's special day and worries about the potential reaction from her father-in-law, known for his explosive temper. We discuss whether it's fair for the brother-in-law to use this occasion for his announcement and her anxiety about her father-in-law's unpredictable behavior. Suggestions include confronting the brother-in-law to disclose the news beforehand or possibly not inviting the father-in-law to maintain peace. The consensus leans toward prioritizing the daughter's birthday and addressing the family's communication issues to avoid further conflicts.
• AITA for accepting an $800 reward for a lost cat?
We explore the ethical dilemma of accepting a monetary reward for returning a lost pet. We consider the differing opinions of friends who believe it might be in poor taste to accept the money, especially given the family's financial situation. We reflect on the value of pets as family members and discuss the importance of setting realistic reward amounts for lost animals. Joe shares anecdotes about his own pet expenses, highlighting how people are often willing to spend significant sums on their pets' well-being. Additionally, it’s examined how the promise of a reward can motivate people to help locate lost pets, ultimately justifying the acceptance of such rewards.
• AITA for expecting my girlfriend to help with our flights home for a funeral?
Finally, we examine the situation where a man is accompanying his girlfriend to her family member’s funeral across the country is taking four days off work and spending $500 on his own ticket. Her parents gave her money that fully covers her flight plus an extra $100. She insists that money is entirely hers, refuses to share it, and even plans to return the extra $100 to her parents rather than help him. He feels entitled to some of the money since he’s making sacrifices to support her and believes it’s selfish for her not to contribute. He asks if he’s the asshole for expecting financial help from her under these circumstances. We determine that she is in the wrong and should help her significant other.
---
The Joevelocity Show is brought to you by:
Old Glory
Old Glory offers over 300,000 items for music, sports, entertainment, and pop culturefans, featuring officially licensed merchandise from iconic bands and top sports teams. Save 15% with the exclusive discount code JOEVELOCITY. oldglory.com
Joevelocity FM
Joevelocity FM: the home of rock, pop, alternative, and new wave. Always In Motion! JoevelocityFM.com
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VOXONX uses SSD-powered servers. ZFS data storage to prevent corruption,
(00:00:49) Intro
(00:04:10) AITA for snapping at my husband that he needs to get over his ADHD quirk?
(00:11:42) AITA for not wanting my daughter’s party turned into a pregnancy announcement?
(00:19:23) AITA for accepting an $800 reward for a lost cat?
(00:26:07) AITA for expecting my girlfriend to help with our flights home for a funeral?
On the 8th episode of The Joevelocity Show, Joe is joined by his mother Sharon, and we discuss some r/AITA parties stories from Reddit.
• AITA for snapping at my husband that he needs to get over his ADHD quirk?
Starting off, we explore a fascinating scenario where a listener shares a story about her husband's sensitivity to the sound of her blinking, potentially linked to his ADHD or misophonia. We unpack the complexities of living with ADHD and how it can affect relationships, especially when unusual sensitivities arise. While the husband's sensitivity seems extreme, it's acknowledged as a real issue, possibly exacerbated by stress or the cessation of medication. We also discuss potential solutions, such as therapy, medication, and practical measures like earplugs, emphasizing the importance of communication and understanding in managing such challenges. Throughout, we reflect on personal experiences with similar sensitivities, such as noisy chewing, and highlight the need for mutual empathy and coping strategies.
• AITA for not wanting my daughter’s party turned into a pregnancy announcement?
Next, we explore a family dilemma where a woman is concerned about her brother-in-law's plan to announce his girlfriend's pregnancy at her daughter's second birthday party. She fears the announcement will overshadow her daughter's special day and worries about the potential reaction from her father-in-law, known for his explosive temper. We discuss whether it's fair for the brother-in-law to use this occasion for his announcement and her anxiety about her father-in-law's unpredictable behavior. Suggestions include confronting the brother-in-law to disclose the news beforehand or possibly not inviting the father-in-law to maintain peace. The consensus leans toward prioritizing the daughter's birthday and addressing the family's communication issues to avoid further conflicts.
• AITA for accepting an $800 reward for a lost cat?
We explore the ethical dilemma of accepting a monetary reward for returning a lost pet. We consider the differing opinions of friends who believe it might be in poor taste to accept the money, especially given the family's financial situation. We reflect on the value of pets as family members and discuss the importance of setting realistic reward amounts for lost animals. Joe shares anecdotes about his own pet expenses, highlighting how people are often willing to spend significant sums on their pets' well-being. Additionally, it’s examined how the promise of a reward can motivate people to help locate lost pets, ultimately justifying the acceptance of such rewards.
• AITA for expecting my girlfriend to help with our flights home for a funeral?
Finally, we examine the situation where a man is accompanying his girlfriend to her family member’s funeral across the country is taking four days off work and spending $500 on his own ticket. Her parents gave her money that fully covers her flight plus an extra $100. She insists that money is entirely hers, refuses to share it, and even plans to return the extra $100 to her parents rather than help him. He feels entitled to some of the money since he’s making sacrifices to support her and believes it’s selfish for her not to contribute. He asks if he’s the asshole for expecting financial help from her under these circumstances. We determine that she is in the wrong and should help her significant other.
---
The Joevelocity Show is brought to you by:
Old Glory
Old Glory offers over 300,000 items for music, sports, entertainment, and pop culturefans, featuring officially licensed merchandise from iconic bands and top sports teams. Save 15% with the exclusive discount code JOEVELOCITY. oldglory.com
Joevelocity FM
Joevelocity FM: the home of rock, pop, alternative, and new wave. Always In Motion! JoevelocityFM.com
VOXONX Web Hosting
VOXONX uses SSD-powered servers. ZFS data storage to prevent corruption,
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Faster than your morning coffee. This is the Joe Velocity Show,
brought to you by Old Glory, who offers over three
hundred thousand items for music, sports, entertainment, and pop culture fans,
featuring officially licensed merchandise for iconic bands and top sports teams.
Discover your perfect fangear and say fifteen percent with the
(00:34):
exclusive discount code Joe Velocity at old glory dot com.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
And welcome again to the Joe Velossiti Show. I'm Joe
and I am here with my mom Sharon.
Speaker 3 (00:48):
Hi, Hi Joe.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
How are you?
Speaker 3 (00:51):
I am fine? How are you?
Speaker 2 (00:53):
I'm doing well. So I want to thank you very
much there for the recipe that you gave me. There
for the beep brisket.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
Well, you're welcome. How did it turn out?
Speaker 2 (01:02):
It turned out fantastic even though you're a vegetarian.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
Well, I don't you know, we don't use beef briscut
in ours, but we use veggie burgers vegieburgers. But yeah,
it's the same, doesn't matter.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Yeah, I put it on at five am and now
we're recording this at four pm, and oh my goodness,
is like literally when I took it out of the
crock pot, put it on the plate to cut it
there like literally there, you're supposed to cut it against
the grain, but I inevertently cut it with the grain.
It was like literally like falling apart as I was cut.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
Yeah, I'm sure for cooking it that long it absolutely
would be melting apart. So I'll bet it. I bet
it was really good. I remember those days when I
ate beef brisket, but not anymore. But yeah, I glad
you enjoyed it.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
I actually started recently eating beef again, so I kind
of missed it unfortunately. So it was kind of like
one of those things there where I mean, it's not
like a clans the thing where it constantly e meat,
Like for example, yesterday they ate chicken. I won't eat
white meat. But you know, for a while, there was
not eating red meat there. But I kind of just
recently started getting back into the red meat thing there.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
And well, I think if you eat something like a
roast or you know, even like if you want to
eat a pork chop or something like that, to eat
you know, a piece of even if you'd have a steak,
it's not like a bunch of meat being ground together
for a hamburger or something like that. If you know,
(02:31):
that's just my take on it. You know, I can
never go back to eating red meat for myself, but
I can see, you know, if you just eat the
portions where they can actually slice it off, you know,
in pieces, rather than grind it all together, it would
(02:52):
be better for you.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
It's kind of like they're going to be kind of
worth it. They're to have like a big tea bone
steak on the grill as opposed to, yeah, like a
hamburg Yeah, I understand. The thing I can't figure out, though,
is is that when people who aren't vegetarians ask vegetarians
to make.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
Them I know where you're going with this. You know what.
We'll talk a little bit about this a little later.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
I think, because I'll be throwing my sister under the
bus if I do this serious. So I'm not going
to do it.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
No, no, And it was all good. We wouldn't have
done it if we didn't want to do it.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
So, but seriously, it's like, if you're vegetarians, I'm fine
eating your too ferky. You know what. It's kind of
funny because anytime I mentioned that to anybody, I get
all kinds of shit about.
Speaker 3 (03:42):
It, you know, right, well, as long as you like it.
You know, if you didn't like it, I try to
make you something else that you know you enjoyed.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
But thankfully I like mess foods, so you know, good,
as long as it's not yakeys or baked beans, I'm good.
But AnyWho, I said, well, let's go ahead. We'll get
into these stories here and let's see what happens. So
let's go ahead here, get this started. Okay, So first
(04:12):
story here? Am I the asshole for snapping at my
husband that he needs to get over his ADHD quirk.
I really try to understand my husband's ADHD quirks and sensitivities,
but this one made me snap. Apparently I blink my
eyes too loudly. The noise i'm so badly that he's
raised his voice telling me to stop and will storm
(04:34):
out of the room. We're laying in bed, watching a
movie or trying to sleep. He says, I don't do
it all the time, but he cannot handle the noise
of my blinking most nights. I finally snapped at him
last night after he told me to stop doing it,
saying something along the lines of you need to get
over it, or take responsibility of your ADHD and stop
thinking this is normal. For context, he's been the therapy
(04:56):
and it's been on medication for ADHD, but since wit
because he doesn't like it. So am I the asshole
for snapping at him? And she goes on the edit
this here. I really appreciate every's comments. I had my
husband read over them as well, and he's agrees that
taken this frustration out on me was not okay. Well,
he hasn't raised a concern until recently. Our best guesses
(05:17):
this is a traumatic birth back in June is likely
causing a ton of stress and making it worse. We
did test that out and he can certainly hear me
blinking or some sound that aligns with the timing, even
if his eyes are closed or I'm turned away. I
agree with the folks saying likely it's a misphonia and
not an HDHD symptom. He says it's like a wet
glass clinking sounds similar to other people's in the comments.
(05:39):
He has apologized and agreed to go back to therapy,
see his doctor for a potential diagnosis, full psych evaluation,
and try earplugs. It could also be brought on by
suddenly stopping his medication, so he's going to speak with
his doctor about that as well. In the meantime, he's
agreed to sleep on the couch if he can't cope,
and not even bring up the blank in the me
(06:00):
Fingers crossed those last Thanks everybody again. Hmm, this is
interesting your thoughts.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
I've never heard of this, but I guess there are
people out there that who can hear this. You know,
hear someone blinking if she's sleeping. I don't know how
how he's hearing her blinking, but yeah, that's what I said.
I'd buy him some earplugs and get on with her life,
get herself some eye drops, and then use them pretty often.
(06:35):
I guess too. You know, like I said, I've never
heard of this, so I've.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
Never heard a single person blink my whole entire life.
Speaker 3 (06:42):
I can't say I have either. I mean, maybe if
your eyes are you know, you have a cold in
your eye or something, and you know they're sticky or something,
that's a different thing. But I'm either I can't hear
that well, or you know, I just never heard this
to be a thing, but I guess it is. And
if it is a thing, for him. That's something that
(07:06):
you know, he needs to take care of.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
The only thing I can think of, like I remember
like running Stimpy and SpongeBob SquarePants, same anima. It is.
It's kind of like if you have to close up
and it's like, you know, it's like you know, something
like that. That's the only time I could think that
we could possibly hear that. But otherwise, yeah, I don't
think really that's an issue with most people. I think
(07:31):
he's the problem to be.
Speaker 3 (07:32):
Honest with either, all right, And I do think, you know,
I mean if he has ways that he can correct
this for himself. I mean probably being on his medicine
would be a good, you know, solution to this. But
I feel bad he's sleeping on the couch because that's
that's probably not good for him either.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
That's not good for a relationship as a whole either. Yeah,
it's not gonna help matters outright. But anyways, here with
the comments, Yah, they went on the stage. Maybe it
depends on how dry your eyes. Sorry, sometimes hear myself blinking,
but not all the time. I don't know what's wrong
with these people in the comments. You know, they got
some they got some squeaky eyes. You know. Yeah, either way,
(08:13):
it's not your fault. As possibly signing he's ever stimulated
a hypersensitive the sound and his reaction is poor emotional regulation.
Sit down with them and say, I know the noise
bothers you, but I'm capable of stopping it if I
stop blinking my eyes or dry out and get damage.
So you need to sit with the feeling, realize it's
bothering you, and remove yourself in the situation until you
can regulate. If that's not possible not able to regulate them,
(08:35):
maybe you need to adjust your medication.
Speaker 3 (08:37):
That's the only thing. I could associate this with someone chewing.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
And yeah, I agree, you know, or.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
Over chewing or something like that, and you know it's
it gets annoying. But you know, I certainly wouldn't unless
it was my spouse or someone in my family. I
wouldn't be telling them to stop chewing.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Do I annoy you whenever I chew?
Speaker 3 (09:01):
No?
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Okay, because I had an ex to mine say that
to me one time that you know, it's like your
mouth closed whenever.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
You chew, So you should do that.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
Yeah, and I do that now. But it's kind of like,
you know, maybe it wasn't paying attention back then, but
it's just kind of like, you know, apparently I smacking
my lips and everything there, and it's like stop it.
Speaker 3 (09:22):
You know, Well, yeah, that's just good manners. And I
thought I had taught you that, but no, you go
on your own and what can I Do's like you're gone.
But yeah, but that's the only thing I could associate
this with was something like that again.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
And that actually the second comment that brings up a
good point there. My daughter has a missphonia for hers.
My breathing and general noises of my mouth, car Ris
are brutal. Since we said so close, just the diagnosis
helped because she had a name. As time passed, I
realized the anxiety strust made a worse. Other tuggers are
doing the dishes, the stays, she leaves the house, it
(10:04):
goes outside. Well, am I washing the dishes? Or she
will do the dishes because she's controlling the noise and
doesn't bother her. Then the key factor of the misphonia
is that involves a viseral response that is irrational. He's
normally a calm person. You might want to look into it.
I was going to stay for a second year before
I actually read that. One sentence there about her doing
the dishes is that she's being smart by leaving whatever
(10:27):
she does the dishes because then that she doesn't have
to do the dishes. But I can also understand that
if she's doing the dishes causing the noise.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
Control it. At least, you know, there seems to be
some understanding going on there with with the problem. And
maybe he's just been misdiagnosed and has you know, once
he gets the real diagnoses, it would be better for him.
Then it is something like she said, you have a
name to it, you can you know how to control it? Then?
Speaker 2 (10:54):
So yeah, and the third one is so me, thanks
for reminding me. I've been happily gnoring m sound of
my blinking ours And also now I'm wearing I can
see my nose and I'm breathing manually. God damn, this
meat suit. It's kind like one of those people. It's
kind of like the story here is probably made you
(11:15):
think about your blinking.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
Yeah you're breathing, yeah, right, right, okay, stop blinking so long?
Speaker 2 (11:24):
Right, Anyways, let's go on.
Speaker 3 (11:28):
I'm sure this is going to be a topic that
we carry on for some time.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
We'll talk about the next Tuesday whenever I come up
to Greensburg and see you. Anyways, let's go ahead, exactly,
go ahead and be one the second story. Here am
I the asshole for not one of my daughter's party
turned into a pregnancy announcement. Some contacts. My brother in
law thirty mil has those of my husband and I
(11:54):
on and offer close to eight years. Even when my
husband and I had kids, he lived with this last
year he got serious about finding a serious relationship. I
was happy for him when he found someone in November.
He moved into her house in December. In April they
found that the brother in law's girlfriend is pregnant. She
is doing in January. She told her family right away
(12:15):
and left it have the brother in law to tell
his He chose to be a coward and say nothing. Well,
tomorrow's my daughter is turning tow and brother in law
has decided that is when he'll tell everyone, mostly because
when they show up his girlfriend is very obviously pregnant.
I'm kind of living. Father in law is done to
fly off the handle for things. Our son ad a
goldfish cracker off the floor and father in law kind
(12:37):
of fit about how disgusting it was, made a scene
and storming out to get together. He's also told my
husband that he needs to watch himself because apparently I'm
not the right kind of woman. Back to the party,
I don't want this announcement to happen because the father
in law flies off the handle. My daughter's party is ruined.
Even if he doesn't, It's suddenly going to be a
pregnancy gender reveal, and no one's going to remember why
(12:59):
the actually there. I know my daughter won't remember it,
but I will. My husband thinks it's not a big
deal and he's excited. I'm trying to communicate my anxiety
about it, but he says his dad will be fine.
I told him the only way this is happening is
if my brother goes to their parents' house well before
the party and tells them, Otherwise I'll be kicking people out.
(13:21):
He's scoffed, but said, Okay, now I'm really just inflicted,
Am I the asshole?
Speaker 3 (13:28):
Not at all? Not at all. Her daughter will only
turn two once, Yeah, in her life, and that's a
that's a big moment, and it should be the focus
should be on her. You know. The brother in law
and his wife. You know, they can have many occasions
(13:48):
to announce a baby's birth and things like that. I
totally agree with her. This should be her daughter's day
and nothing else. And you certainly don't need I don't
know why the father and so like right into this. Yeah,
these two.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
You know why he flies off the handle so much.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
Yeah, so easily. I mean eating a cracker off the floor.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
My god, damn you get out.
Speaker 3 (14:13):
Yeah, get out, I'm leaving. Can't handle that. But but
you know, no, she her daughter deserves her birthday period.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
Yeah, exactly. So, Yeah, I think the commenters agree with us.
There is that. Unfortunately, your brother in law is a coward.
Tell your brother in law. There's two choices. He either
tells his family ahead of time or you do true,
so the other one kind of builds upon that. They're
not the outside. Tell the brother in law it's going
to be too cowardish to say something. You can always
(14:45):
beat him to the punch and spill the beans for him.
Would it be a dick move? Yeah? But also they
shouldn't be co opting your kid's birthday party to announce
our pregnancy. Yep, I know it's only two days away,
but the following law finds out. Now you can fly
out the handle now and have two da is to
calm down. So really, I think it's all about the
father in law being the issue.
Speaker 3 (15:04):
You're really right, right, he's you know, he's a bigger problem.
Maybe not invite the.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
Father in law, I completely elderly agree there, Yeah, just
leave him.
Speaker 3 (15:16):
Out of things there, because leave him out of everything.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
Apparently can't hindle himself there, you know, right, just wants
to go off the handle for any slight imperception, you know, right,
some first world problem. It's kind of like, oh my goodness,
you know. Anyways, the third one also said there, tell
the father in law immediately. Your cowardly brother in law
wants to ring your daughter's birthday party and to protect
himself from an angry father in law. Think about it,
(15:38):
he's one that sacrifice her day to keep from bearing
the consequences of his own actions. You consider not inviting
them to the party prioritize your daughter and your peace
of mind over the solilife coward. So what they're saying
here is not not to invite the brother in law, right, But.
Speaker 3 (15:54):
You have to remember the brother in law is also
the son of the father in law. So you know,
you have to be very careful why you say this,
because if he's not too fond of his daughter in
law and she's you know, making a deal out of this,
then maybe he won't take that too well either. So
oh yeah, that's med either way.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
That's right, because you know, didn't he say that I'm
not that right kind of woman?
Speaker 3 (16:24):
So I think she needs her husband to handle this
with his father and his brother.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
I think the follow one needs to talking to him
be like, you know what, you know, this is my wife,
you know, whether you like it or not, you know,
and you need to either need to like it or
get the hell out of here, you know, so because
I mean, really it's just kind of like, you know,
it just seems like he's free to have his own
problems there but not have any ramifications you know, from
(16:52):
having those thoughts and everything there and just basically make
everybody else's life hell just to satisfy him.
Speaker 3 (16:58):
Right, But don't have that talk before before the birthday party? Yeah,
mess Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
So yeah, anyways, believe it or not, we are halfway
this show. We're going ahead and take a break, great time, yep,
and we'll be right back. But more than Joe Lassis Show.
Speaker 4 (17:18):
After this, you could listen to a station that plays
the same six songs on repeat, or you could try
joe velocity FM. The home of rock, pop, alternative and
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We are joe velocity FM. Always in motion like your
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Speaker 2 (18:41):
And welcome back to the Joe Velosses Show.
Speaker 3 (18:44):
Hi Joe Time Mom.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
Anyways, Yeah, we're we're twinsday's now. Actually, I got new
glasses actually, and uh, they kind of look like yours.
They're kind of like like the like the the frame
the top of like black. They're kind of halfrom I guess,
you know. Yeah, yep, so they're like kind of like
just nothing on the bottom door, yep. Yeah, but yeah,
(19:08):
I really like yours, and I figured, yeah, I kind
of took her inspiration and got the same kind as
well there because I used to have these kind of
glasses before, and I really like them. I'll tell you what.
But anyways, from go ahead and here continue on with
the third story, and by the asshole for accepting eight
hundred dollar reward for a lost cat. Last week, a
(19:29):
lost cat flyer was placed in my mailbox with a
plea for help funding their precious family pet with an
eight hundred dollar reward for information or return. Wells luck
would have it. A few days later, I was walking home.
I saw the very same cat scraunching for food out
of garbage can, and the collar confirmed it was the cat.
I took it home, gave it some food, and called
(19:49):
the owner's phone number. Of course, the family was the static.
They picked up the cat the same day they thanked me,
hugged me, cried, then asked for my information that sent
me to eight hundred dollars in retrospect that they were
hesitant to do that last part. Normally I wouldn't accept
the money. It's been happy, they hadn't make my family happy.
But honestly, I've been struggling lately more than usual, and
(20:10):
eight hundred dollars is a mouth that would help me
a ton, so I accepted it. There Anyways, I was
telling some friends about this, and they all got kind
of weird when I mentioned the money exchange. Most of
them agreed they wouldn't accept the money, and then it's
kind of a bad taste to take the money for
a good deed. They pointed out that since they also
live in my neighborhood, they certainly aren't wealthy. I feel
kind of sick thinking about how I benefited from their misfortune?
(20:33):
Am I overthinking it? Am I the asshole? And then
they did it offer the reward, but it is attacking
or rude to acceptance.
Speaker 3 (20:40):
I think it's fine. I think it's fine. You know,
the purpose of the reward was for its safe return,
and he certainly did that, and no, they should not
have offered so much if they weren't weren't willing or
able to pay that much, right, I mean that the
next time they lose their care, just offer fifty two
(21:02):
hundred dollars maybe, and and then you know, at that amount,
maybe you would be more you know, reserved and not
take not take the finder's fee basically, and it would
be easier to refuse. But eight hundred dollars, that's a
lot of money for anybody, So I don't I don't
(21:23):
really blame him, particularly if he was struggling. Maybe he
could have said, you know, make it six or him
he could have, you know, or make it for something.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
But we'll give him break somehow.
Speaker 3 (21:35):
Yeah, they offered eight hundred dollars, so I don't think
if you're not willing to pay it once you get
your cat back, I don't think, you know, I think
they would have been really the a hole for that.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
We were joking. It's not eight hundred dollars eighty. It
can remind me of that entire contest they had at
Hooters where they were offering like the waitresses they free
toyota whenever the you know, like whoever, like sold the
most something or whatever based constance they had, and this
woman fought and fought, and you know, she won the contest.
(22:08):
Instead of a Toyota car like she was thinking that
she doesn't get, she got a toy Yoda like a
Yoda doll.
Speaker 3 (22:16):
I remember that. I remember that.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
She ended up psuing, did she. Yeah, and she got
her Toyota plus sum. But yeah, I would really think
here that if you're offering any dollars, you know, you
can pony up that amount there, you know. But it's
also too it's the family pet. Is that important to
(22:40):
you as well? Right, So I think it's pretty money
well spent, you know. And if there wasn't spent there,
we spent somewhere else.
Speaker 3 (22:47):
You know, right. I mean it was a lot, a
lot of money to offer to begin with. I think,
I mean, your pets are priceless, let's just say that.
And so you know, maybe there were other reasons they
were offering that much money, but I've never actually seen
that much on a poster for cat or a dog
(23:08):
or you know, unless there may be a full bread something.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
But yeah, I was actually thinking about something here. Whenever
I first my partner, I first got our our cat Daniel.
He was a big main coon cat. He was skinny.
They didn't even know he's a Maine coon at that point.
They're just a long hair, you know, domestic cats where
they knew gray. But he had a stuff up nose,
(23:33):
so he wasn't eating his food apparently, and he went
like two or three days after we got him without
eating his food, and we're like, we have to take
him to the fat well. Anyways, three hundred dollars later,
we got his nose on stuffed and he hasn't stopped
eating since then, and he became a nice, big cat
all of a sudden, you know. True, But you know
(23:54):
it was kind of like, yeah, it was kind of
like not something that we wanted to spend at the
beginning there, but it was worth it. You know.
Speaker 3 (24:01):
Well, if you have a doctor cat, I mean, you
have to like start setting aside a little fund just
for them because you know, anytime you take them to AVD,
it's going to be expensive.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
Because they are literally members of your family as well.
You know.
Speaker 3 (24:15):
Oh yeah, yeah, So I mean probably when they first
lost the cat, this wasn't outrageous for them. They would
probably pay double that, you know, to get it back
but once you get it back, you're like, oh okay,
like it was only gone a day, isn't worthy under
I don't know. I don't know what they were thinking,
but like I said, if they weren't willing to pay it,
(24:36):
they shouldn't have offered that much money.
Speaker 2 (24:38):
Well, the commenters, I think, kind of hit an important
point there that the first commenter said, the reward is
likely what made you subconsciously or consciously remember that cat,
and then he climb to check us caller, when you
found that the reward of work, you're not an asshole
at all. And then the second commenter said, again, this
rewards work because people remember them and put two and
(25:00):
two together when they see the animal, especially as like
a common tabby cat or something. I see a ten
of them around that. Don't think twice about oh a
cat eight hundred dollars. I'm taking a second look at
every cat that resembles that picture or description.
Speaker 3 (25:13):
True.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
So really in Sunds, I think they were trying to
sentize people looking for.
Speaker 3 (25:19):
This cat, right and right.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
You know, eight hundred dollars is eight hundred dollars. You
know there's a lot of money, But also to somebody else,
brought up an important point there where it said not
money related. But that's why Amber alerts and silver alerts
is so helpful. The point is not for everyone to
be looking for a car or person hundred percent of
the time. But if people get a notification and spend
the next couple of minutes looking around their immediate space
(25:42):
that covers a lot of ground very quickly, then an
individual or police department can't reach as effectively.
Speaker 3 (25:48):
It's a very very good point, you know, on both,
on both like a lost animal or a person. So yeah, right,
it's a good way to end that one.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
Believe or not we canme up to the last story
of the show or amendment of the conclusion. Am I
the asshole for expecting my girlfriend to help with our
flights home for a funeral? My girlfriend and I live
across the country from her family that the one passed
last weekend. I'm taking time off work and going with her,
even though it's a massive financial strain, because she wants
(26:19):
me to support her. Her parents will send her money
to pay for the flights. She's insisting in the money
is one hundred percent hers. I had to pay my
own way when I told her that the money sent
covers her flights plus one hundred dollars. She told me
that she was going to send one hundred dollars back
to her parents instead of giving it to me to
help my expense is a bit. I feel like I'm
entitled to half the money. I'm already taking four days
(26:41):
off work and paying five hundred dollars for the strip,
while it is her is effectively fully paid for. I
feel because we're both going, that money is for us
to use, not her. If she wants me there so bad,
why can't she help me out financial a little bit
where we're gonna actually cost a penny out of her pocket?
Am I the asshole for feeling some sense ofment helements?
Does that help out money from our parents? Because I
(27:03):
feel selfish of her to keep it all to the
point makes me not want to be there to support her.
I'm doing a big thing for giving up a lot
to give emotional support. Is she can't even help me
out with one hundred dollars it's not her own money.
Feels very selfish on her parts, doesn't it?
Speaker 3 (27:20):
Yes, it does, it does, and I'd say no, you know,
she definitely should help out. And since she got the
money sent to her, you know, go ahead and help
him out with his flight and you know, do that.
Otherwise I think I would excuse myself from going and
just send a basket of flowers to the family. And
(27:42):
you know, his in his name, right, not even hers, right.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
Yeah. I mean it's just basically it's kind of like,
you know, what, if she wants him to be there
so badly, I think that needs comes some type of
compromise here that you know, hey, listen to one hundred dollars,
you know, that's all I was really asking for.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
I mean, he took off four days of work. So
once they get to you know, her parents' house, you know,
that's that's They're probably not going to eat every meal
at her mother's house, so probably going out to dinner
and meet some friends, old friends or something, and going
to lunches and things. So I mean, I know, like
two three days of this can be taken up with
(28:21):
the funeral, but after that, you know, or even some
evenings you know, kind of get together with other people.
So it's not just five hundred dollars out of his pocket.
It's probably a lot more because he probably pays for
you know, dinners out and things like that, unless you know, yeah,
that's what she did with the money, you know, save
it and use it for that.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
I personally think it's very selfish of her. You know,
you're like, hey, this's percent mind and paying for my
trip and sending out your bucks back to my parents
right unless there, because.
Speaker 3 (28:51):
I'm sure she wouldn't probably put up with it if
you know, if the rules were refersed.
Speaker 2 (28:56):
Exactly so the commentors, I think you're three hundred percent
with us there, not the asshole. Her parents sent her
the money to cover air for her. Did you know
that you were coming along. She's rather selfish to expecting
to company her. Again, she's not willing to help you
out now, you see who she is. You should just
stay home. Yeah, yeah, I mean this is like, you know,
(29:16):
it's bad enough to be passed away, you know. Now
it's kind of threatening the relationship there too, but you
know she's bringing it upon herself. Unfortunately. The second comments said,
she wants you there for support. Her family sent money
for bosth of your tickets, and she wants the money
for herself. It's simple tell her you won't be going,
you won't support her. Then when she's gone, to think
about the relationship because this is a big red flag.
(29:40):
So in the third one finally says, look, married couples
are long term committed couples, but have a different set
of expectations. So I guess it depends on how long
you've been together, long enough that the extended family considers
you a unit. If not, then your obligation is minimal here.
If you can afford it and want to, then go. Otherwise,
don't she wants you there, She will offer I need
to help you get there. I'm shocked, the only one
(30:02):
one hundred dollars, I argue, if she wants you there,
you guys aren't married, engaged, long term committed, and she
needs to help you out with like the half of
the ticket the least, you know. So it's just basically
it's kind of yeah, she needs to adjust her priorities
there because if she wants him there like she.
Speaker 3 (30:22):
Does, and it I mean, they don't say who the
member family member was, but I mean it wasn't one
of her parents, unless it was you know, maybe a
brother or sister or something like that. That's a little
different too, But you know, if it's an uncle or
a cousin or something, how much support do you need,
you know, if it's not you know, someone super super
(30:45):
close to you.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
It just seems like a lot of these issues that
we ever encountered talking about on these shows would be solved,
that people would actually talk to each other. Yeah, you know,
figure out why, you know, like for example, in this
case here, why you're not wanting to uh split the
cost right? Why you think yours?
Speaker 3 (31:04):
And Yeah, and you know there's there's a lot of
gaps in this story. How long have they been together
and you know, have has he met the family, you know,
her parents and things like that already, or and these
talk to them on the phone, or maybe they've gone
to see them. But I mean, either way, you know,
(31:25):
if the money was meant for both of them to
share to you know, get their tickets, he certainly deserves
his portion of that.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
Yeah. Best thing is ask the parents, you know, was
this all for her? Was this for both of us?
Speaker 3 (31:38):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (31:39):
And I think that would solve the problem right there,
you know, because if the parents say for both of us,
then at that point, well, if.
Speaker 3 (31:44):
He doesn't go, and if she's honest for the reason
he doesn't go, you know, with her parents, you know,
her parents can tell her what, you know, a little
asshole she was because she didn't share the money with him.
That's what it was for, you know.
Speaker 2 (32:01):
So So anyways, that brings us up to the end
of the show, and I want to thank you very
much Mom for being on the show today.
Speaker 3 (32:08):
You're welcome, joe Ah.
Speaker 2 (32:09):
Thank you anyways, Thank you for checking out the Juvelasty Show.
Make sure the subscribe to this show and you hear
podcasts app to listen to demand and so that you'll
miss an episode and braccess our websites visitors at jelosty
dot com. Thanks for listening and have a good one
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(00:34):
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Speaker 2 (00:41):
And welcome again to the Joe Velossiti Show. I'm Joe
and I am here with my mom Sharon.
Speaker 3 (00:48):
Hi, Hi Joe.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
How are you?
Speaker 3 (00:51):
I am fine? How are you?
Speaker 2 (00:53):
I'm doing well. So I want to thank you very
much there for the recipe that you gave me. There
for the beep brisket.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
Well, you're welcome. How did it turn out?
Speaker 2 (01:02):
It turned out fantastic even though you're a vegetarian.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
Well, I don't you know, we don't use beef briscut
in ours, but we use veggie burgers vegieburgers. But yeah,
it's the same, doesn't matter.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Yeah, I put it on at five am and now
we're recording this at four pm, and oh my goodness,
is like literally when I took it out of the
crock pot, put it on the plate to cut it
there like literally there, you're supposed to cut it against
the grain, but I inevertently cut it with the grain.
It was like literally like falling apart as I was cut.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
Yeah, I'm sure for cooking it that long it absolutely
would be melting apart. So I'll bet it. I bet
it was really good. I remember those days when I
ate beef brisket, but not anymore. But yeah, I glad
you enjoyed it.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
I actually started recently eating beef again, so I kind
of missed it unfortunately. So it was kind of like
one of those things there where I mean, it's not
like a clans the thing where it constantly e meat,
Like for example, yesterday they ate chicken. I won't eat
white meat. But you know, for a while, there was
not eating red meat there. But I kind of just
recently started getting back into the red meat thing there.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
And well, I think if you eat something like a
roast or you know, even like if you want to
eat a pork chop or something like that, to eat
you know, a piece of even if you'd have a steak,
it's not like a bunch of meat being ground together
for a hamburger or something like that. If you know,
(02:31):
that's just my take on it. You know, I can
never go back to eating red meat for myself, but
I can see, you know, if you just eat the
portions where they can actually slice it off, you know,
in pieces, rather than grind it all together, it would
(02:52):
be better for you.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
It's kind of like they're going to be kind of
worth it. They're to have like a big tea bone
steak on the grill as opposed to, yeah, like a
hamburg Yeah, I understand. The thing I can't figure out, though,
is is that when people who aren't vegetarians ask vegetarians
to make.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
Them I know where you're going with this. You know what.
We'll talk a little bit about this a little later.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
I think, because I'll be throwing my sister under the
bus if I do this serious. So I'm not going
to do it.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
No, no, And it was all good. We wouldn't have
done it if we didn't want to do it.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
So, but seriously, it's like, if you're vegetarians, I'm fine
eating your too ferky. You know what. It's kind of
funny because anytime I mentioned that to anybody, I get
all kinds of shit about.
Speaker 3 (03:42):
It, you know, right, well, as long as you like it.
You know, if you didn't like it, I try to
make you something else that you know you enjoyed.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
But thankfully I like mess foods, so you know, good,
as long as it's not yakeys or baked beans, I'm good.
But AnyWho, I said, well, let's go ahead. We'll get
into these stories here and let's see what happens. So
let's go ahead here, get this started. Okay, So first
(04:12):
story here? Am I the asshole for snapping at my
husband that he needs to get over his ADHD quirk.
I really try to understand my husband's ADHD quirks and sensitivities,
but this one made me snap. Apparently I blink my
eyes too loudly. The noise i'm so badly that he's
raised his voice telling me to stop and will storm
(04:34):
out of the room. We're laying in bed, watching a
movie or trying to sleep. He says, I don't do
it all the time, but he cannot handle the noise
of my blinking most nights. I finally snapped at him
last night after he told me to stop doing it,
saying something along the lines of you need to get
over it, or take responsibility of your ADHD and stop
thinking this is normal. For context, he's been the therapy
(04:56):
and it's been on medication for ADHD, but since wit
because he doesn't like it. So am I the asshole
for snapping at him? And she goes on the edit
this here. I really appreciate every's comments. I had my
husband read over them as well, and he's agrees that
taken this frustration out on me was not okay. Well,
he hasn't raised a concern until recently. Our best guesses
(05:17):
this is a traumatic birth back in June is likely
causing a ton of stress and making it worse. We
did test that out and he can certainly hear me
blinking or some sound that aligns with the timing, even
if his eyes are closed or I'm turned away. I
agree with the folks saying likely it's a misphonia and
not an HDHD symptom. He says it's like a wet
glass clinking sounds similar to other people's in the comments.
(05:39):
He has apologized and agreed to go back to therapy,
see his doctor for a potential diagnosis, full psych evaluation,
and try earplugs. It could also be brought on by
suddenly stopping his medication, so he's going to speak with
his doctor about that as well. In the meantime, he's
agreed to sleep on the couch if he can't cope,
and not even bring up the blank in the me
(06:00):
Fingers crossed those last Thanks everybody again. Hmm, this is
interesting your thoughts.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
I've never heard of this, but I guess there are
people out there that who can hear this. You know,
hear someone blinking if she's sleeping. I don't know how
how he's hearing her blinking, but yeah, that's what I said.
I'd buy him some earplugs and get on with her life,
get herself some eye drops, and then use them pretty often.
(06:35):
I guess too. You know, like I said, I've never
heard of this, so I've.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
Never heard a single person blink my whole entire life.
Speaker 3 (06:42):
I can't say I have either. I mean, maybe if
your eyes are you know, you have a cold in
your eye or something, and you know they're sticky or something,
that's a different thing. But I'm either I can't hear
that well, or you know, I just never heard this
to be a thing, but I guess it is. And
if it is a thing, for him. That's something that
(07:06):
you know, he needs to take care of.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
The only thing I can think of, like I remember
like running Stimpy and SpongeBob SquarePants, same anima. It is.
It's kind of like if you have to close up
and it's like, you know, it's like you know, something
like that. That's the only time I could think that
we could possibly hear that. But otherwise, yeah, I don't
think really that's an issue with most people. I think
(07:31):
he's the problem to be.
Speaker 3 (07:32):
Honest with either, all right, And I do think, you know,
I mean if he has ways that he can correct
this for himself. I mean probably being on his medicine
would be a good, you know, solution to this. But
I feel bad he's sleeping on the couch because that's
that's probably not good for him either.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
That's not good for a relationship as a whole either. Yeah,
it's not gonna help matters outright. But anyways, here with
the comments, Yah, they went on the stage. Maybe it
depends on how dry your eyes. Sorry, sometimes hear myself blinking,
but not all the time. I don't know what's wrong
with these people in the comments. You know, they got
some they got some squeaky eyes. You know. Yeah, either way,
(08:13):
it's not your fault. As possibly signing he's ever stimulated
a hypersensitive the sound and his reaction is poor emotional regulation.
Sit down with them and say, I know the noise
bothers you, but I'm capable of stopping it if I
stop blinking my eyes or dry out and get damage.
So you need to sit with the feeling, realize it's
bothering you, and remove yourself in the situation until you
can regulate. If that's not possible not able to regulate them,
(08:35):
maybe you need to adjust your medication.
Speaker 3 (08:37):
That's the only thing. I could associate this with someone chewing.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
And yeah, I agree, you know, or.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
Over chewing or something like that, and you know it's
it gets annoying. But you know, I certainly wouldn't unless
it was my spouse or someone in my family. I
wouldn't be telling them to stop chewing.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Do I annoy you whenever I chew?
Speaker 3 (09:01):
No?
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Okay, because I had an ex to mine say that
to me one time that you know, it's like your
mouth closed whenever.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
You chew, So you should do that.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
Yeah, and I do that now. But it's kind of like,
you know, maybe it wasn't paying attention back then, but
it's just kind of like, you know, apparently I smacking
my lips and everything there, and it's like stop it.
Speaker 3 (09:22):
You know, Well, yeah, that's just good manners. And I
thought I had taught you that, but no, you go
on your own and what can I Do's like you're gone.
But yeah, but that's the only thing I could associate
this with was something like that again.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
And that actually the second comment that brings up a
good point there. My daughter has a missphonia for hers.
My breathing and general noises of my mouth, car Ris
are brutal. Since we said so close, just the diagnosis
helped because she had a name. As time passed, I
realized the anxiety strust made a worse. Other tuggers are
doing the dishes, the stays, she leaves the house, it
(10:04):
goes outside. Well, am I washing the dishes? Or she
will do the dishes because she's controlling the noise and
doesn't bother her. Then the key factor of the misphonia
is that involves a viseral response that is irrational. He's
normally a calm person. You might want to look into it.
I was going to stay for a second year before
I actually read that. One sentence there about her doing
the dishes is that she's being smart by leaving whatever
(10:27):
she does the dishes because then that she doesn't have
to do the dishes. But I can also understand that
if she's doing the dishes causing the noise.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
Control it. At least, you know, there seems to be
some understanding going on there with with the problem. And
maybe he's just been misdiagnosed and has you know, once
he gets the real diagnoses, it would be better for him.
Then it is something like she said, you have a
name to it, you can you know how to control it? Then?
Speaker 2 (10:54):
So yeah, and the third one is so me, thanks
for reminding me. I've been happily gnoring m sound of
my blinking ours And also now I'm wearing I can
see my nose and I'm breathing manually. God damn, this
meat suit. It's kind like one of those people. It's
kind of like the story here is probably made you
(11:15):
think about your blinking.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
Yeah you're breathing, yeah, right, right, okay, stop blinking so long?
Speaker 2 (11:24):
Right, Anyways, let's go on.
Speaker 3 (11:28):
I'm sure this is going to be a topic that
we carry on for some time.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
We'll talk about the next Tuesday whenever I come up
to Greensburg and see you. Anyways, let's go ahead, exactly,
go ahead and be one the second story. Here am
I the asshole for not one of my daughter's party
turned into a pregnancy announcement. Some contacts. My brother in
law thirty mil has those of my husband and I
(11:54):
on and offer close to eight years. Even when my
husband and I had kids, he lived with this last
year he got serious about finding a serious relationship. I
was happy for him when he found someone in November.
He moved into her house in December. In April they
found that the brother in law's girlfriend is pregnant. She
is doing in January. She told her family right away
(12:15):
and left it have the brother in law to tell
his He chose to be a coward and say nothing. Well,
tomorrow's my daughter is turning tow and brother in law
has decided that is when he'll tell everyone, mostly because
when they show up his girlfriend is very obviously pregnant.
I'm kind of living. Father in law is done to
fly off the handle for things. Our son ad a
goldfish cracker off the floor and father in law kind
(12:37):
of fit about how disgusting it was, made a scene
and storming out to get together. He's also told my
husband that he needs to watch himself because apparently I'm
not the right kind of woman. Back to the party,
I don't want this announcement to happen because the father
in law flies off the handle. My daughter's party is ruined.
Even if he doesn't, It's suddenly going to be a
pregnancy gender reveal, and no one's going to remember why
(12:59):
the actually there. I know my daughter won't remember it,
but I will. My husband thinks it's not a big
deal and he's excited. I'm trying to communicate my anxiety
about it, but he says his dad will be fine.
I told him the only way this is happening is
if my brother goes to their parents' house well before
the party and tells them, Otherwise I'll be kicking people out.
(13:21):
He's scoffed, but said, Okay, now I'm really just inflicted,
Am I the asshole?
Speaker 3 (13:28):
Not at all? Not at all. Her daughter will only
turn two once, Yeah, in her life, and that's a
that's a big moment, and it should be the focus
should be on her. You know. The brother in law
and his wife. You know, they can have many occasions
(13:48):
to announce a baby's birth and things like that. I
totally agree with her. This should be her daughter's day
and nothing else. And you certainly don't need I don't
know why the father and so like right into this. Yeah,
these two.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
You know why he flies off the handle so much.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
Yeah, so easily. I mean eating a cracker off the floor.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
My god, damn you get out.
Speaker 3 (14:13):
Yeah, get out, I'm leaving. Can't handle that. But but
you know, no, she her daughter deserves her birthday period.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
Yeah, exactly. So, Yeah, I think the commenters agree with us.
There is that. Unfortunately, your brother in law is a coward.
Tell your brother in law. There's two choices. He either
tells his family ahead of time or you do true,
so the other one kind of builds upon that. They're
not the outside. Tell the brother in law it's going
to be too cowardish to say something. You can always
(14:45):
beat him to the punch and spill the beans for him.
Would it be a dick move? Yeah? But also they
shouldn't be co opting your kid's birthday party to announce
our pregnancy. Yep, I know it's only two days away,
but the following law finds out. Now you can fly
out the handle now and have two da is to
calm down. So really, I think it's all about the
father in law being the issue.
Speaker 3 (15:04):
You're really right, right, he's you know, he's a bigger problem.
Maybe not invite the.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
Father in law, I completely elderly agree there, Yeah, just
leave him.
Speaker 3 (15:16):
Out of things there, because leave him out of everything.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
Apparently can't hindle himself there, you know, right, just wants
to go off the handle for any slight imperception, you know, right,
some first world problem. It's kind of like, oh my goodness,
you know. Anyways, the third one also said there, tell
the father in law immediately. Your cowardly brother in law
wants to ring your daughter's birthday party and to protect
himself from an angry father in law. Think about it,
(15:38):
he's one that sacrifice her day to keep from bearing
the consequences of his own actions. You consider not inviting
them to the party prioritize your daughter and your peace
of mind over the solilife coward. So what they're saying
here is not not to invite the brother in law, right, But.
Speaker 3 (15:54):
You have to remember the brother in law is also
the son of the father in law. So you know,
you have to be very careful why you say this,
because if he's not too fond of his daughter in
law and she's you know, making a deal out of this,
then maybe he won't take that too well either. So
oh yeah, that's med either way.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
That's right, because you know, didn't he say that I'm
not that right kind of woman?
Speaker 3 (16:24):
So I think she needs her husband to handle this
with his father and his brother.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
I think the follow one needs to talking to him
be like, you know what, you know, this is my wife,
you know, whether you like it or not, you know,
and you need to either need to like it or
get the hell out of here, you know, so because
I mean, really it's just kind of like, you know,
it just seems like he's free to have his own
problems there but not have any ramifications you know, from
(16:52):
having those thoughts and everything there and just basically make
everybody else's life hell just to satisfy him.
Speaker 3 (16:58):
Right, But don't have that talk before before the birthday party? Yeah,
mess Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
So yeah, anyways, believe it or not, we are halfway
this show. We're going ahead and take a break, great time, yep,
and we'll be right back. But more than Joe Lassis Show.
Speaker 4 (17:18):
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Speaker 2 (18:41):
And welcome back to the Joe Velosses Show.
Speaker 3 (18:44):
Hi Joe Time Mom.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
Anyways, Yeah, we're we're twinsday's now. Actually, I got new
glasses actually, and uh, they kind of look like yours.
They're kind of like like the like the the frame
the top of like black. They're kind of halfrom I guess,
you know. Yeah, yep, so they're like kind of like
just nothing on the bottom door, yep. Yeah, but yeah,
(19:08):
I really like yours, and I figured, yeah, I kind
of took her inspiration and got the same kind as
well there because I used to have these kind of
glasses before, and I really like them. I'll tell you what.
But anyways, from go ahead and here continue on with
the third story, and by the asshole for accepting eight
hundred dollar reward for a lost cat. Last week, a
(19:29):
lost cat flyer was placed in my mailbox with a
plea for help funding their precious family pet with an
eight hundred dollar reward for information or return. Wells luck
would have it. A few days later, I was walking home.
I saw the very same cat scraunching for food out
of garbage can, and the collar confirmed it was the cat.
I took it home, gave it some food, and called
(19:49):
the owner's phone number. Of course, the family was the static.
They picked up the cat the same day they thanked me,
hugged me, cried, then asked for my information that sent
me to eight hundred dollars in retrospect that they were
hesitant to do that last part. Normally I wouldn't accept
the money. It's been happy, they hadn't make my family happy.
But honestly, I've been struggling lately more than usual, and
(20:10):
eight hundred dollars is a mouth that would help me
a ton, so I accepted it. There Anyways, I was
telling some friends about this, and they all got kind
of weird when I mentioned the money exchange. Most of
them agreed they wouldn't accept the money, and then it's
kind of a bad taste to take the money for
a good deed. They pointed out that since they also
live in my neighborhood, they certainly aren't wealthy. I feel
kind of sick thinking about how I benefited from their misfortune?
(20:33):
Am I overthinking it? Am I the asshole? And then
they did it offer the reward, but it is attacking
or rude to acceptance.
Speaker 3 (20:40):
I think it's fine. I think it's fine. You know,
the purpose of the reward was for its safe return,
and he certainly did that, and no, they should not
have offered so much if they weren't weren't willing or
able to pay that much, right, I mean that the
next time they lose their care, just offer fifty two
(21:02):
hundred dollars maybe, and and then you know, at that amount,
maybe you would be more you know, reserved and not
take not take the finder's fee basically, and it would
be easier to refuse. But eight hundred dollars, that's a
lot of money for anybody, So I don't I don't
(21:23):
really blame him, particularly if he was struggling. Maybe he
could have said, you know, make it six or him
he could have, you know, or make it for something.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
But we'll give him break somehow.
Speaker 3 (21:35):
Yeah, they offered eight hundred dollars, so I don't think
if you're not willing to pay it once you get
your cat back, I don't think, you know, I think
they would have been really the a hole for that.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
We were joking. It's not eight hundred dollars eighty. It
can remind me of that entire contest they had at
Hooters where they were offering like the waitresses they free
toyota whenever the you know, like whoever, like sold the
most something or whatever based constance they had, and this
woman fought and fought, and you know, she won the contest.
(22:08):
Instead of a Toyota car like she was thinking that
she doesn't get, she got a toy Yoda like a
Yoda doll.
Speaker 3 (22:16):
I remember that. I remember that.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
She ended up psuing, did she. Yeah, and she got
her Toyota plus sum. But yeah, I would really think
here that if you're offering any dollars, you know, you
can pony up that amount there, you know. But it's
also too it's the family pet. Is that important to
(22:40):
you as well? Right, So I think it's pretty money
well spent, you know. And if there wasn't spent there,
we spent somewhere else.
Speaker 3 (22:47):
You know, right. I mean it was a lot, a
lot of money to offer to begin with. I think,
I mean, your pets are priceless, let's just say that.
And so you know, maybe there were other reasons they
were offering that much money, but I've never actually seen
that much on a poster for cat or a dog
(23:08):
or you know, unless there may be a full bread something.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
But yeah, I was actually thinking about something here. Whenever
I first my partner, I first got our our cat Daniel.
He was a big main coon cat. He was skinny.
They didn't even know he's a Maine coon at that point.
They're just a long hair, you know, domestic cats where
they knew gray. But he had a stuff up nose,
(23:33):
so he wasn't eating his food apparently, and he went
like two or three days after we got him without
eating his food, and we're like, we have to take
him to the fat well. Anyways, three hundred dollars later,
we got his nose on stuffed and he hasn't stopped
eating since then, and he became a nice, big cat
all of a sudden, you know. True, But you know
(23:54):
it was kind of like, yeah, it was kind of
like not something that we wanted to spend at the
beginning there, but it was worth it. You know.
Speaker 3 (24:01):
Well, if you have a doctor cat, I mean, you
have to like start setting aside a little fund just
for them because you know, anytime you take them to AVD,
it's going to be expensive.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
Because they are literally members of your family as well.
You know.
Speaker 3 (24:15):
Oh yeah, yeah, So I mean probably when they first
lost the cat, this wasn't outrageous for them. They would
probably pay double that, you know, to get it back
but once you get it back, you're like, oh okay,
like it was only gone a day, isn't worthy under
I don't know. I don't know what they were thinking,
but like I said, if they weren't willing to pay it,
(24:36):
they shouldn't have offered that much money.
Speaker 2 (24:38):
Well, the commenters, I think, kind of hit an important
point there that the first commenter said, the reward is
likely what made you subconsciously or consciously remember that cat,
and then he climb to check us caller, when you
found that the reward of work, you're not an asshole
at all. And then the second commenter said, again, this
rewards work because people remember them and put two and
(25:00):
two together when they see the animal, especially as like
a common tabby cat or something. I see a ten
of them around that. Don't think twice about oh a
cat eight hundred dollars. I'm taking a second look at
every cat that resembles that picture or description.
Speaker 3 (25:13):
True.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
So really in Sunds, I think they were trying to
sentize people looking for.
Speaker 3 (25:19):
This cat, right and right.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
You know, eight hundred dollars is eight hundred dollars. You
know there's a lot of money, But also to somebody else,
brought up an important point there where it said not
money related. But that's why Amber alerts and silver alerts
is so helpful. The point is not for everyone to
be looking for a car or person hundred percent of
the time. But if people get a notification and spend
the next couple of minutes looking around their immediate space
(25:42):
that covers a lot of ground very quickly, then an
individual or police department can't reach as effectively.
Speaker 3 (25:48):
It's a very very good point, you know, on both,
on both like a lost animal or a person. So yeah, right,
it's a good way to end that one.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
Believe or not we canme up to the last story
of the show or amendment of the conclusion. Am I
the asshole for expecting my girlfriend to help with our
flights home for a funeral? My girlfriend and I live
across the country from her family that the one passed
last weekend. I'm taking time off work and going with her,
even though it's a massive financial strain, because she wants
(26:19):
me to support her. Her parents will send her money
to pay for the flights. She's insisting in the money
is one hundred percent hers. I had to pay my
own way when I told her that the money sent
covers her flights plus one hundred dollars. She told me
that she was going to send one hundred dollars back
to her parents instead of giving it to me to
help my expense is a bit. I feel like I'm
entitled to half the money. I'm already taking four days
(26:41):
off work and paying five hundred dollars for the strip,
while it is her is effectively fully paid for. I
feel because we're both going, that money is for us
to use, not her. If she wants me there so bad,
why can't she help me out financial a little bit
where we're gonna actually cost a penny out of her pocket?
Am I the asshole for feeling some sense ofment helements?
Does that help out money from our parents? Because I
(27:03):
feel selfish of her to keep it all to the
point makes me not want to be there to support her.
I'm doing a big thing for giving up a lot
to give emotional support. Is she can't even help me
out with one hundred dollars it's not her own money.
Feels very selfish on her parts, doesn't it?
Speaker 3 (27:20):
Yes, it does, it does, and I'd say no, you know,
she definitely should help out. And since she got the
money sent to her, you know, go ahead and help
him out with his flight and you know, do that.
Otherwise I think I would excuse myself from going and
just send a basket of flowers to the family. And
(27:42):
you know, his in his name, right, not even hers, right.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
Yeah. I mean it's just basically it's kind of like,
you know, what, if she wants him to be there
so badly, I think that needs comes some type of
compromise here that you know, hey, listen to one hundred dollars,
you know, that's all I was really asking for.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
I mean, he took off four days of work. So
once they get to you know, her parents' house, you know,
that's that's They're probably not going to eat every meal
at her mother's house, so probably going out to dinner
and meet some friends, old friends or something, and going
to lunches and things. So I mean, I know, like
two three days of this can be taken up with
(28:21):
the funeral, but after that, you know, or even some
evenings you know, kind of get together with other people.
So it's not just five hundred dollars out of his pocket.
It's probably a lot more because he probably pays for
you know, dinners out and things like that, unless you know, yeah,
that's what she did with the money, you know, save
it and use it for that.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
I personally think it's very selfish of her. You know,
you're like, hey, this's percent mind and paying for my
trip and sending out your bucks back to my parents
right unless there, because.
Speaker 3 (28:51):
I'm sure she wouldn't probably put up with it if
you know, if the rules were refersed.
Speaker 2 (28:56):
Exactly so the commentors, I think you're three hundred percent
with us there, not the asshole. Her parents sent her
the money to cover air for her. Did you know
that you were coming along. She's rather selfish to expecting
to company her. Again, she's not willing to help you
out now, you see who she is. You should just
stay home. Yeah, yeah, I mean this is like, you know,
(29:16):
it's bad enough to be passed away, you know. Now
it's kind of threatening the relationship there too, but you
know she's bringing it upon herself. Unfortunately. The second comments said,
she wants you there for support. Her family sent money
for bosth of your tickets, and she wants the money
for herself. It's simple tell her you won't be going,
you won't support her. Then when she's gone, to think
about the relationship because this is a big red flag.
(29:40):
So in the third one finally says, look, married couples
are long term committed couples, but have a different set
of expectations. So I guess it depends on how long
you've been together, long enough that the extended family considers
you a unit. If not, then your obligation is minimal here.
If you can afford it and want to, then go. Otherwise,
don't she wants you there, She will offer I need
to help you get there. I'm shocked, the only one
(30:02):
one hundred dollars, I argue, if she wants you there,
you guys aren't married, engaged, long term committed, and she
needs to help you out with like the half of
the ticket the least, you know. So it's just basically
it's kind of yeah, she needs to adjust her priorities
there because if she wants him there like she.
Speaker 3 (30:22):
Does, and it I mean, they don't say who the
member family member was, but I mean it wasn't one
of her parents, unless it was you know, maybe a
brother or sister or something like that. That's a little
different too, But you know, if it's an uncle or
a cousin or something, how much support do you need,
you know, if it's not you know, someone super super
(30:45):
close to you.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
It just seems like a lot of these issues that
we ever encountered talking about on these shows would be solved,
that people would actually talk to each other. Yeah, you know,
figure out why, you know, like for example, in this
case here, why you're not wanting to uh split the
cost right? Why you think yours?
Speaker 3 (31:04):
And Yeah, and you know there's there's a lot of
gaps in this story. How long have they been together
and you know, have has he met the family, you know,
her parents and things like that already, or and these
talk to them on the phone, or maybe they've gone
to see them. But I mean, either way, you know,
(31:25):
if the money was meant for both of them to
share to you know, get their tickets, he certainly deserves
his portion of that.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
Yeah. Best thing is ask the parents, you know, was
this all for her? Was this for both of us?
Speaker 3 (31:38):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (31:39):
And I think that would solve the problem right there,
you know, because if the parents say for both of us,
then at that point, well, if.
Speaker 3 (31:44):
He doesn't go, and if she's honest for the reason
he doesn't go, you know, with her parents, you know,
her parents can tell her what, you know, a little
asshole she was because she didn't share the money with him.
That's what it was for, you know.
Speaker 2 (32:01):
So So anyways, that brings us up to the end
of the show, and I want to thank you very
much Mom for being on the show today.
Speaker 3 (32:08):
You're welcome, joe Ah.
Speaker 2 (32:09):
Thank you anyways, Thank you for checking out the Juvelasty Show.
Make sure the subscribe to this show and you hear
podcasts app to listen to demand and so that you'll
miss an episode and braccess our websites visitors at jelosty
dot com. Thanks for listening and have a good one
by bye bye
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