December 23, 2024 • 28 mins
In this inspiring episode of The Joseph Bonner Show, we dive deep into the extraordinary life of Oprah Winfrey, a true icon and a beacon of hope for millions around the world. From her humble beginnings in rural Mississippi to becoming one of the most influential figures in media, Oprah's journey is a testament to resilience, determination, and the power of a dream.
Join us as we highlight the key moments of her life, including her groundbreaking talk show, *The Oprah Winfrey Show*, which transformed daytime television and broke barriers for women in media. We’ll explore her role as a passionate advocate for education, women’s rights, and social justice, and how her philanthropic efforts, such as the establishment of the Oprah Winfrey Foundation, continue to inspire change today.
But that's not all! We’re excited to welcome life coach Darisu McDonand for an exclusive interview where we delve into the theme of living a purposeful life—something that Oprah herself embodies. Darisu shares actionable insights on how to uncover your passion, set meaningful goals, and live a life that you truly love. He’ll guide us through practical steps to cultivate a mindset of purpose and fulfillment, drawing on principles that Oprah has exemplified throughout her career.
Whether you're a lifelong fan of Oprah or just beginning to explore her incredible legacy, this episode is packed with motivation, wisdom, and inspiration. Tune in to learn how you can create a life filled with purpose and joy, just like the remarkable Oprah Winfrey!
Listen in and get ready to be inspired, uplifted, and empowered!
Join us as we highlight the key moments of her life, including her groundbreaking talk show, *The Oprah Winfrey Show*, which transformed daytime television and broke barriers for women in media. We’ll explore her role as a passionate advocate for education, women’s rights, and social justice, and how her philanthropic efforts, such as the establishment of the Oprah Winfrey Foundation, continue to inspire change today.
But that's not all! We’re excited to welcome life coach Darisu McDonand for an exclusive interview where we delve into the theme of living a purposeful life—something that Oprah herself embodies. Darisu shares actionable insights on how to uncover your passion, set meaningful goals, and live a life that you truly love. He’ll guide us through practical steps to cultivate a mindset of purpose and fulfillment, drawing on principles that Oprah has exemplified throughout her career.
Whether you're a lifelong fan of Oprah or just beginning to explore her incredible legacy, this episode is packed with motivation, wisdom, and inspiration. Tune in to learn how you can create a life filled with purpose and joy, just like the remarkable Oprah Winfrey!
Listen in and get ready to be inspired, uplifted, and empowered!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to today's show. I'm your host, Joseph Bonner, and
you are listening to The Joseph Bonner Show. Today, we're
going to be talking about life after abuse. Sexual assault
is a very serious subject, a very serious topic, and
we are going to try to approach this topic with
(00:21):
the greatest care as well as empathy and love. So
we are going to be talking about the life of
Oprah Winfrey after abuse, what she had to endure, as
well as how she was able to use her story
to help others. And then afterwards, we are going to
have a very special guest to share her story about
(00:44):
life after abuse, suffering sexual trauma in the military. So
it's going to be an emotional show. I do want
to encourage you to just understand that going in that
if you feel that you may be triggered and you're
not ready for that kind of a conversation, I definitely
encourage you to not listen to this episode. However, if
(01:08):
you feel that this episode could be of support and
encouragement and comfort to you, then I definitely would like
you to stay and listen. Now, after we talk about
the life of Oprah Winfrey, I do want you all
to know that we're going to have a commercial break,
and then after the commercial break, then we're going to
jump into our second segment. Got to pay some bills. Well,
(01:30):
many people know Oprah as a second name of Hope,
but the reality is is that Oprah, who's changed the
lives of thousands of people around the world, has had
her fair share of problems growing up. Now, you probably
know from just past articles and past interviews. You know
(01:53):
some of the difficulties that she's faced. And this particular show,
we're going to be talking about the abuse she faced
and how she was able to overcome it and become
one of the most powerful and respected women in the world.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Now.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
One of the most significant forms of abuse that Oprah
faced was the sexual abuse as a child. She's been
very open about the fact that she was molested by
her cousin, her uncles, and a family friend when she
was a child. The abuse began when she was around
nine years old and lasted for several years. In an
interview with People magazine that she did, Oprah Hag revealed
(02:28):
that the abuse had a profound impact on her and
that she carried the feelings of shame and guilt for
many years, as as many victims of sexual assault do.
She has since said that the experience made her want
to save the world. So from that trial, from that experience,
(02:49):
from those moments of despair, she found a way to
help others through their struggles.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Now.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
Oprah's abuse, however, did not end with childhood sexual abuse.
She also faced verbal and emotional abuse from her father.
According to Oprah, her father was an angry and abusive
man who would frequently berate her and her mother. Despite that,
Oprah has said that she always had a close relationship
with her father and that he was one of her
(03:22):
biggest supporters. Now, words carrying with it a lot of emotion,
and I think sometimes we don't realize the impact that
our words can have on others, as a parents, as
those especially in positions of power. It's really important to
(03:42):
note that something that we say can mean the difference
between someone's life and someone's death. And so verbal abuse,
verbally berating individuals, even children, it's never okay, and those
things do have profound impacts on people mentally, emotionally, psychologically.
So I think it's important for us to understand that,
(04:04):
you know, verbal abuse can be traumatic and can be
life altering. Something that we should never forget now. Despite
the abuse she faced as a child and a young adult,
Oprah was really determined to make something of herself. So
she actually began her career in media as a radio
(04:25):
host in Nashville, Tennessee, and eventually landed her own talk
show in Chicago. Now, The Oprah Winfrey Show, as you
all know, quickly became one of the most popular programs
on TV, and Oprah became one of the most well
known and respected women in the world. Now as her
fame grew, so to the number of people who sought
to take advantage of her. Now, Oprah spoke very candidly
about the difficulties of being a powerful woman in a
(04:48):
male dominated industry and about the many times that she
had been underestimated. Despite this, she's always been determined to succeed.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
Refusing to let.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
Others bring her down one of the ways Oprah was
able to overcome abuse. Now, before I transition into this,
because I do want you guys to hear this, because
I think it's very important. I think a lot of
people think that when it comes to business, especially well,
I think it's an American culture. I really think it's
(05:18):
an American culture. Thing to be honest, you guys, because
right now I'm overseas and the attitude is not this.
But in the American business culture it's a very cutthroat,
you know, dog eat dog world, to use a term
not loosely, and in this particular culture, they are not
(05:40):
afraid and they're unapologetic of turning their backs on business partners,
stabbing people on the back, taking advantage of others. It's
very unapologetically and people don't understand. And maybe the people
who do these things do understand. Maybe they don't understand
that when you do people wrong in business, and when
(06:02):
you have such a cutthroat attitude, it can not only
alter people's trajectory as far as your career is concerned,
but even themselves emotionally and mentally. There's the saying, and
I think you guys probably seen it all the time
on social media that people don't quit jobs, they quit bosses,
they quit management. And I think that's so true because
(06:24):
when you have a very loyal and a very supportive
work environment, even if the pay is not great, you'll stay.
But if the environment is toxic and hostile, no matter
what the pay is, you'll be looking for a way
out and that's so true. However, despite all the things
that Oprah went through, she did found various ways to
cope and to endure, and so we're going to jump
into that right now now. One way that she was
(06:45):
able to overcome was through therapy. She's been very open
about the fact that she does see a therapist throughout
her life to deal with the traumas that she's faced
in the past and to even cope with present stresses.
She's also been involved in various programs and organizations to
raise awareness about abuses, obviously particularly for children.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
So if you need to.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
See a therapist, by all means, see a therapists. If
that's what you need to do to endure and to
cope and to move forward, do it. There's nothing wrong
with that. It's nothing wrong with getting to help and
support you need. If you need to see a therapist,
see one. But I think also something that you can
(07:26):
tell Oprah did, which does help when you're dealing with
difficulties emotionally, is finding time to help others. You know,
Oprah's organizations have helped so many individuals.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
If you.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
Took some of your time to do the same thing now,
you may not want to start an organization because that's
a lot of work. But maybe some volunteer time, go
out in the community, volunteer give back. And what that
does is that gives you an opportunity to use your
energies and strengths to help and support others. And that's
going to make you more happier. That's going to help
you to deal and cope with the emotional trauma that
(07:59):
you have to do deal with. So find an opportunity
to go out and give back and experience a joy
that comes from from giving and helping others. Now that
would be like your philanthropy if you if you're so
well inclined or just volunteering your time. You know, and
a lot of people don't see or know the power
(08:22):
of their own voice. And so maybe it just means
that you will become a voice to advocate and help others.
And that's what Oprah did. That's one way that she
was able to push through her trauma is to become
a voice for others and help others through self healing.
Self healing that helps her through her trauma. So perhaps
you will become that voice for the voiceless and help
(08:44):
them also cope. Now, Oprah did say in an interview
with The New York Times that self care is the
new frontier of well being and it's the foundation of
well being. Noticed that self care is the new frontier
of well being and is the foundation of well being.
And that's really a profound thought, because if you can't
take care of yourself, or if you don't take care
(09:05):
of yourself, how are you going to take care of others?
And I use this illustration before, especially when flying on
an airplane, if the oxygen masks were to come down,
they tell you to put the oxygen on yourself first,
not your baby. Well why is that Because if you
pass out well, then both you and the baby die.
But if you take care of you first, you now
have the strength and energy to take care of someone else. So,
(09:28):
by all means, let twenty twenty three be the year
that you focus on healing and pushing forward and taking
care of you. And even though you may have experience
trauma and abuse and difficulties, this does not have to
be the end of your story. If you need therapy,
seek it out. Find a way to give back to
(09:49):
the community, either through volunteering, philanthropy, or being a voice
to help others, and I wish you healing on your journey.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
Hey, what's going on you guys?
Speaker 4 (10:01):
This is Joseph Varner and thank you so much for
coming back to the show.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
Now we get a.
Speaker 4 (10:06):
Chance to jump into the segment that I absolutely love
is when we get a chance to interview someone who
is very inspirational but also someone who's a philanthropist and
a sponsor of the Bully Avengers.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
For that, we'd like to welcome Darius McDonald to the show.
Speaker 4 (10:22):
He is a life coach since twenty eighteen and one
of the people he wants to meet, which shouldn't be
surprised any of you guys, is Oprah Winfrey.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
Welcome to the show. How are you today?
Speaker 3 (10:34):
I'm doing well today. It's a great day here in Dallas, Texas,
so I'm doing well.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Great, Well, mister McDonald.
Speaker 4 (10:41):
We're so happy to have you on today's segment because
we know that as we move into two thousand and
twenty five, and everybody's mindset is on how do I grow,
how do I do more this year than I did
last year? How can I become a success? And as
a life coach, these are topics that you cover all
the time. So I guess My first question to you is,
(11:03):
I mean, tell me a little bit how you even
got into life coaching, Like what was your motivation?
Speaker 3 (11:09):
Yeah, great question. So my motivation was, Oh, my grandparents
raised me.
Speaker 5 (11:14):
And so I would listen in to some of my
grandmother's conversations with her friends or a neighbor or a
salesman who would come by the house and how she
would kind of flip the script. They're there to do
something for her, but then she would flip the script
and she would offer some life wisdom to aid and
making an impact in her life to see, and then
(11:35):
it also could see that transformation.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
So that's that's part of it.
Speaker 5 (11:39):
But also I've been in corporate America for one job
about thirty four years, that's the past my thirty fourth year,
and so in doing that, I was able to coach employees,
coach executives, but also coach some individuals BT sales reps
who I were interacting with and coach them in a
(12:01):
way that you know, there was life changing to get
them to move controm the direction of their dream or
their vision.
Speaker 4 (12:08):
I love that, and so you know, it's always nice
that when you can find something that you're passionate about
that speaks to your heart and the fact that you
had grandparents who incorporate and instilled that desire to support
others in such a profound way is truly remarkable. And
(12:28):
I guess here's my question, because I know that as
things progress in twenty twenty five, it's getting a lot
more difficult for people to maintain positivity. It's getting a
lot more difficult for people to have a positive outlook
when they're bombarded by so much negativity, not just in
their own workplace, our own and families and own households,
but even just in society in general.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
So my question for you, mister McDonald.
Speaker 4 (12:53):
Is, what are some positive daily habits that we can
engage in to try to maintain that positive life onset.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
Yeah, great question. There is a rule of one hundred.
Speaker 5 (13:05):
The rule of one hundred states that if you can
do something eighteen minutes a day, meaning eighteen minutes a day,
if that means that we know we have about twenty
four hours a day, and we all have the twenty
four hours a day, be it the common person, be
it the middle class, whatever positioning that you're in.
Speaker 3 (13:23):
We all have the same amount of time of day.
Speaker 5 (13:25):
But in that if we could just spend eighteen minutes
a day in that very thing, meaning that if you're
trying to learn a new instrument, if we're trying to
do something such as learn a new language, if we're
just trying to perfect certain things in our lives, if
we can do it eighteen minutes a day, we can
surpass ninety five percent of the world.
Speaker 3 (13:44):
But in that which it causes us to do it daily,
so we have to be sure that we're doing it.
Speaker 5 (13:48):
Doesn't matter how you're falling off the horse in life,
but it's more about getting back on the horse and
doing that eighteen minutes a day, so then you can
have that concentration in that very thing, and you can
see a movement in an area of the life that
you're focused on.
Speaker 2 (14:05):
I think that's phenomenal.
Speaker 4 (14:07):
Already my mind is thinking back to maybe something that
I could that I'm already doing eighteen minutes a day
of and seeing the improvements there. I think that's a
sustainable and reachabook goal for all of us. Find something
that you are passionate about, something that is positive, something
that can contribute to your overall well being, and commit
(14:27):
eighteen minutes to that on a daily basis. I think
that is phenomenal. Now, this is now coming from the
perspective of a life coach, someone who's helped people to
make these drastic changes in their life and to see
those self improvements. Can you tell me or share with
me any kind of stories of people who've been able
to implement this in their life and some of the
(14:48):
positive things that have resulted.
Speaker 3 (14:51):
Absolutely. So. I had a good friend amount of time
we the team member of mine.
Speaker 5 (15:01):
And so she had the dream of opening her own
or being her own insurance, being an insurant insurance agent,
and but it required her to think differently, and so at.
Speaker 3 (15:13):
The time, you know, she was just you know, she
was a team member of mine.
Speaker 5 (15:17):
And so when we had opportunity to spend time together
at just at lunchtime, just over lunch, having conversations about
you know, use a tools with what you have in
your hands to move to move the measuring stick a
little bit right. Sometimes we get all worked up in
what we don't have and we forget about the tools
(15:40):
in which we do have and which you if we're
using those tools, meaning that for her, it's more about
who do you know within your network that can help
aid and you getting getting the building that you need
to be able to start an agency, to have a place,
to have a sense of community, to have a place
in which way you can meet. You have someone within
your at work, yes, okay, let's make that call to
(16:03):
get that network started. Okay, then we started there. Okay,
Now you can carve out times. Yes, you have a
full time you have a job that's full time. However, okay,
what time of the day can you carve out that
you can be able to move the needle a little bit. Okay,
we can carve out the eighteen minutes a day to
be able to make cold calls or have meetings with clients,
(16:24):
to start to get to customer base and raise their
customer base in that area. So it was from there,
it was it was about three about a three month period,
about ninety days. And with that ninety day period, we
were able to get her from doing a you know,
an eight hour you know eight hour where we get
a place where you're doing eight hours a day, forty
(16:46):
hours a week. She moved from there and transitioned to
her own business. And that's not the full story. However,
we the consistency which she had to have consistency and
moving direction and the moving and confident in that direction
of her dream to be at that place. But she
had to be mentally and physically in that space to
see something move, meaning that our hands can be slacked
(17:08):
in anything. She had to work at it. And I'm
a firm believer that we have to work at it
daily to see the better results. So that means that
with her, those feelings, those thoughts, and those actions have
to rise to have those better results.
Speaker 4 (17:25):
That's that's phenomenal. I think that's a great, a great
example of some of the positive things that can happen
when we are constantly in a state of movement and flawing.
So that's that's that's awesome. So tell me a little
about now building a lifestyle that's designed to shape success,
(17:47):
because I mean, we can go from having positive habits,
now how do these how do we turn these habits.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
Though, into just a lifestyle.
Speaker 5 (17:58):
You know is mastering yourself daily. And what I mean
by that is is that we have to be sure
that we're moving in this place of where you're free.
So in the morning, you may have some affirmations that
you're going to go through and whatever affirmations that is
(18:19):
for you. But that means before you even hit the floor,
that you're already showing some gratitude in the space that
you have and where you be, where you do to
be and have in that space, and then you know
there's there's there has been shown to be great success
if you make your bed every day.
Speaker 3 (18:36):
It seems so simple.
Speaker 5 (18:37):
But if you can get control of that mindset and
not the mindset of you know, i'll make it, I'll
make my bed later, or I'm not making the bed today.
But if you could just move in the direction of
I'm going to make the bed today, make a decision
and move forward, that allows an energy to keep moving
forward throughout the day.
Speaker 3 (18:55):
So that energy has become stagnant uh in life.
Speaker 5 (18:58):
And so we with that and also making a decision
of and it's really about when you decide.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
Deciding is the greatest thing to master.
Speaker 5 (19:10):
And we have to be meaning that we have to
move with intention and not just you know, haphazitlvely just
moving through, but moving with intentionality.
Speaker 3 (19:20):
We have the opportunity to.
Speaker 5 (19:23):
Go to Broken Bow, Oklahoma for Thanksgiving, and so the
home that was there was on an incline, and so
we just couldn't just move in a way that wasn't
on purpose. We had to move with purpose to be
able to get up the incline to land on the
even surface. So the same thing in life. We have
(19:45):
to be sure that we're moving with intentionality to get
to the place where we're going.
Speaker 3 (19:49):
But it requires us to be in tune and not
just be on autopilot.
Speaker 5 (19:53):
There are some things we've mastered in life, and we
get so on autopilot that we don't see any moves
because we're not physically.
Speaker 3 (20:00):
Mentally in the space that we're in.
Speaker 5 (20:04):
And that's helpful when we're having those thoughts and something.
We have to make sure that if we're having thoughts
that are not serving us well, if they're if they're
contractive thoughts and they're expansive thoughts, that we have to
switch those contractive thoughts to an expansive thought to see
better results.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
Hmm, wow, that makes sense.
Speaker 4 (20:28):
That makes a lot of sense, and I really appreciate
the illustration about move with purpose, especially when you encounter
life's difficulties that may make uh putting forth effort quite difficult.
But nevertheless, like you mentioned, if you want to be
on a level surface, then you have to put forth
(20:49):
the effort to get up that hill. And so making
these intentional daily decisions to create a lifestyle that shaped
success is it?
Speaker 2 (21:00):
It just makes perfect sense. So I know this McDonald
that you help many individuals.
Speaker 4 (21:10):
Find uh the tools that they need or even rediscover
the tools that they already possessed to make some of
these life changing decisions and to kind of.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
Move forward with their life. Can you tell me a
little bit about your life coaching business.
Speaker 4 (21:23):
And and how you're helping people connect reconnect with success.
Speaker 6 (21:28):
Yes, so there there are there They are four quadrants
that we have in life that we all have that
we must be in tune with with ourselves. And those
four quadrants are relationships or love and relationships, and then
there is health and wellness. There's a vocation and then
(21:49):
time and money freedom uh that are in a mix
with all that. And so for me, we talk about
those four quadrants which we all have them, and so
in there we discuss which one it has, if you will,
a deficit in which there is some some longing to
that you have a different vision, and so what we
(22:11):
discuss which one is calling that has more energy to
it to where you see there needs to be a shift.
Speaker 3 (22:19):
Or a change in that area.
Speaker 5 (22:22):
So if it's you know, time and money freedom, maybe
you want to move from the lifestyle of being in
the nine to five and or is it is it
budgeting or what areas of that? Or if it's the
love of relationships that you know, maybe it could be
as simple as your look. Your perspective on love has
(22:43):
to do with you are so consumed with what you
don't want, but you're not articulating what you want to
see come to you. So in love, relationships and then vocation, well,
you know, I'm a firm believer we need to be
in a place that we love the job that we
already have, and we work in a place that we
(23:03):
already have the job that we that that we are desiring.
Speaker 3 (23:08):
So then that energy is really active and active energy.
Speaker 5 (23:13):
So then you can move towards the space of being
in the in the vocation or being in the relationship
or being with complete wellness and health and time and
money tab time and time and money freedom to be
in that space.
Speaker 4 (23:29):
Absolutely no, that that no, that makes sense and likes
you said, it goes back to that mindset and where
where is your thought process and how are you structuring
your thoughts because typically what we think of leads to
what we do.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
So I love the fact that you help.
Speaker 4 (23:45):
People to kind of refocus their their thoughts and reorganize
to make sure that they are moving forward with purpose
and intention.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
That that's phenomenal.
Speaker 4 (23:55):
I know that you also offer individual coaching and group coaching.
You have some pretty amazing testimonials on your website, and
I think what you're doing right now, mijair Man Donald
is so vital for individuals, especially as moving twenty twenty five,
to be able to get a little extra support and
assistance with maintaining positivity and actually moving forward with.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
Purpose and direction.
Speaker 4 (24:21):
I want to go ahead and read testimonial on your
website where it says there is has been a light
in my life and a pillar of my foundation over
the last year. I owe a great deal of gratitude
for his continued efforts, his encouraging words, and excellent guidance
and leadership. And so you know these are some of
your testimonials. People who have to work with you and
(24:41):
who speak to just help found of an impact that
you've had in their life. And so I want to
thank you so much for being on our show today
and sharing your wisdom with our audience. But I know
that there are other individuals out there who probably want
someone in a one time with.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
You, and I want to pick up individually.
Speaker 4 (25:00):
I definitely want to encourage everyone out there to please
connect with him. His His website is d maclifecoach dot com.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
That's d N A C L I F E C
O A c h dot com and you can learn
more about working with him his speak.
Speaker 4 (25:16):
You know, he also does speaking, So those of you
who are looking for an inspirational keynote speaker, this is
the person to come to.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
And there's so much more that you're going to.
Speaker 4 (25:26):
Be able to do by working on one with Darius.
And I want to thank you again for not only
sharing your wisdom with us, but also think a sponsor up.
Speaker 2 (25:35):
The Bully Avengers.
Speaker 4 (25:37):
You know, it's you know, human rights violations are something
that we all see on a regular basis. We see
it talking about the news, but there are very few
people who will actually step in and provide support for
those individuals who are the victims of human rights violations.
And so we want to thank you so much for
donating to that cause and you know, putting your money
where your mouth is and fighting against humanized violations internationally.
(26:00):
So there's so many wonderful things I could say about you,
and so we definitely want to express great appreciation for
you being on today now.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
Before we let you go.
Speaker 4 (26:08):
Is there anything that you would like to share with
us in some party, words of wisdom and advice that
you that you have for us.
Speaker 5 (26:16):
Yeah, I would just say that I know that most
of us at this time of the year that we
put a pause on where we want to see different
things to unfold in our lives, meaning that whole n.
Speaker 3 (26:30):
Ye part of our year that we look forward to.
Speaker 5 (26:34):
But what if I told you that you can have
what you desired today? What requires you putting the work
in today and the same energy you will have on
New Year's Eve when you want to.
Speaker 3 (26:46):
Turn that new leaf or you want to start that
new thing.
Speaker 5 (26:50):
You can start today because the energy that is that
you have that is breathing you now will be the
same will be the same energy, but you you.
Speaker 3 (26:58):
Could do it today.
Speaker 5 (27:00):
So be encouraged to know that put your desire is
definitely for you, but there's no need to pause.
Speaker 3 (27:08):
You can have it today.
Speaker 4 (27:11):
Wow, Well, I I appreciate that I know I needed
to hear that today, that's for sure, and I'm sure
many of us out there needed to hear that today.
So but today, uh, either day, there is an honor
having you on today, and thank you so much for
your your inspiration.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
Now for those of you guys again who are wanting to.
Speaker 4 (27:30):
Know how to contact him and connect with him for
life coaching, his website again is dmaclifecoach dot com. The
number on his website is two one four four three
five seven, and he is available to work with individuals
and help them to achieve greater success. You guys can
also go to this website and fill out the online
(27:51):
form there on the contact page as well and he
will be available again.
Speaker 2 (27:56):
So happy to have you on on the show today.
Speaker 4 (27:59):
Before I let you guys go at home, so I do,
guys want you to stick around for a few minutes
because we do have some bills to pay, so please
listen to a word from our partners.
Welcome to today's show. I'm your host, Joseph Bonner, and
you are listening to The Joseph Bonner Show. Today, we're
going to be talking about life after abuse. Sexual assault
is a very serious subject, a very serious topic, and
we are going to try to approach this topic with
(00:21):
the greatest care as well as empathy and love. So
we are going to be talking about the life of
Oprah Winfrey after abuse, what she had to endure, as
well as how she was able to use her story
to help others. And then afterwards, we are going to
have a very special guest to share her story about
(00:44):
life after abuse, suffering sexual trauma in the military. So
it's going to be an emotional show. I do want
to encourage you to just understand that going in that
if you feel that you may be triggered and you're
not ready for that kind of a conversation, I definitely
encourage you to not listen to this episode. However, if
(01:08):
you feel that this episode could be of support and
encouragement and comfort to you, then I definitely would like
you to stay and listen. Now, after we talk about
the life of Oprah Winfrey, I do want you all
to know that we're going to have a commercial break,
and then after the commercial break, then we're going to
jump into our second segment. Got to pay some bills. Well,
(01:30):
many people know Oprah as a second name of Hope,
but the reality is is that Oprah, who's changed the
lives of thousands of people around the world, has had
her fair share of problems growing up. Now, you probably
know from just past articles and past interviews. You know
(01:53):
some of the difficulties that she's faced. And this particular show,
we're going to be talking about the abuse she faced
and how she was able to overcome it and become
one of the most powerful and respected women in the world.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Now.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
One of the most significant forms of abuse that Oprah
faced was the sexual abuse as a child. She's been
very open about the fact that she was molested by
her cousin, her uncles, and a family friend when she
was a child. The abuse began when she was around
nine years old and lasted for several years. In an
interview with People magazine that she did, Oprah Hag revealed
(02:28):
that the abuse had a profound impact on her and
that she carried the feelings of shame and guilt for
many years, as as many victims of sexual assault do.
She has since said that the experience made her want
to save the world. So from that trial, from that experience,
(02:49):
from those moments of despair, she found a way to
help others through their struggles.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Now.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
Oprah's abuse, however, did not end with childhood sexual abuse.
She also faced verbal and emotional abuse from her father.
According to Oprah, her father was an angry and abusive
man who would frequently berate her and her mother. Despite that,
Oprah has said that she always had a close relationship
with her father and that he was one of her
(03:22):
biggest supporters. Now, words carrying with it a lot of emotion,
and I think sometimes we don't realize the impact that
our words can have on others, as a parents, as
those especially in positions of power. It's really important to
(03:42):
note that something that we say can mean the difference
between someone's life and someone's death. And so verbal abuse,
verbally berating individuals, even children, it's never okay, and those
things do have profound impacts on people mentally, emotionally, psychologically.
So I think it's important for us to understand that,
(04:04):
you know, verbal abuse can be traumatic and can be
life altering. Something that we should never forget now. Despite
the abuse she faced as a child and a young adult,
Oprah was really determined to make something of herself. So
she actually began her career in media as a radio
(04:25):
host in Nashville, Tennessee, and eventually landed her own talk
show in Chicago. Now, The Oprah Winfrey Show, as you
all know, quickly became one of the most popular programs
on TV, and Oprah became one of the most well
known and respected women in the world. Now as her
fame grew, so to the number of people who sought
to take advantage of her. Now, Oprah spoke very candidly
about the difficulties of being a powerful woman in a
(04:48):
male dominated industry and about the many times that she
had been underestimated. Despite this, she's always been determined to succeed.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
Refusing to let.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
Others bring her down one of the ways Oprah was
able to overcome abuse. Now, before I transition into this,
because I do want you guys to hear this, because
I think it's very important. I think a lot of
people think that when it comes to business, especially well,
I think it's an American culture. I really think it's
(05:18):
an American culture. Thing to be honest, you guys, because
right now I'm overseas and the attitude is not this.
But in the American business culture it's a very cutthroat,
you know, dog eat dog world, to use a term
not loosely, and in this particular culture, they are not
(05:40):
afraid and they're unapologetic of turning their backs on business partners,
stabbing people on the back, taking advantage of others. It's
very unapologetically and people don't understand. And maybe the people
who do these things do understand. Maybe they don't understand
that when you do people wrong in business, and when
(06:02):
you have such a cutthroat attitude, it can not only
alter people's trajectory as far as your career is concerned,
but even themselves emotionally and mentally. There's the saying, and
I think you guys probably seen it all the time
on social media that people don't quit jobs, they quit bosses,
they quit management. And I think that's so true because
(06:24):
when you have a very loyal and a very supportive
work environment, even if the pay is not great, you'll stay.
But if the environment is toxic and hostile, no matter
what the pay is, you'll be looking for a way
out and that's so true. However, despite all the things
that Oprah went through, she did found various ways to
cope and to endure, and so we're going to jump
into that right now now. One way that she was
(06:45):
able to overcome was through therapy. She's been very open
about the fact that she does see a therapist throughout
her life to deal with the traumas that she's faced
in the past and to even cope with present stresses.
She's also been involved in various programs and organizations to
raise awareness about abuses, obviously particularly for children.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
So if you need to.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
See a therapist, by all means, see a therapists. If
that's what you need to do to endure and to
cope and to move forward, do it. There's nothing wrong
with that. It's nothing wrong with getting to help and
support you need. If you need to see a therapist,
see one. But I think also something that you can
(07:26):
tell Oprah did, which does help when you're dealing with
difficulties emotionally, is finding time to help others. You know,
Oprah's organizations have helped so many individuals.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
If you.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
Took some of your time to do the same thing now,
you may not want to start an organization because that's
a lot of work. But maybe some volunteer time, go
out in the community, volunteer give back. And what that
does is that gives you an opportunity to use your
energies and strengths to help and support others. And that's
going to make you more happier. That's going to help
you to deal and cope with the emotional trauma that
(07:59):
you have to do deal with. So find an opportunity
to go out and give back and experience a joy
that comes from from giving and helping others. Now that
would be like your philanthropy if you if you're so
well inclined or just volunteering your time. You know, and
a lot of people don't see or know the power
(08:22):
of their own voice. And so maybe it just means
that you will become a voice to advocate and help others.
And that's what Oprah did. That's one way that she
was able to push through her trauma is to become
a voice for others and help others through self healing.
Self healing that helps her through her trauma. So perhaps
you will become that voice for the voiceless and help
(08:44):
them also cope. Now, Oprah did say in an interview
with The New York Times that self care is the
new frontier of well being and it's the foundation of
well being. Noticed that self care is the new frontier
of well being and is the foundation of well being.
And that's really a profound thought, because if you can't
take care of yourself, or if you don't take care
(09:05):
of yourself, how are you going to take care of others?
And I use this illustration before, especially when flying on
an airplane, if the oxygen masks were to come down,
they tell you to put the oxygen on yourself first,
not your baby. Well why is that Because if you
pass out well, then both you and the baby die.
But if you take care of you first, you now
have the strength and energy to take care of someone else. So,
(09:28):
by all means, let twenty twenty three be the year
that you focus on healing and pushing forward and taking
care of you. And even though you may have experience
trauma and abuse and difficulties, this does not have to
be the end of your story. If you need therapy,
seek it out. Find a way to give back to
(09:49):
the community, either through volunteering, philanthropy, or being a voice
to help others, and I wish you healing on your journey.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
Hey, what's going on you guys?
Speaker 4 (10:01):
This is Joseph Varner and thank you so much for
coming back to the show.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
Now we get a.
Speaker 4 (10:06):
Chance to jump into the segment that I absolutely love
is when we get a chance to interview someone who
is very inspirational but also someone who's a philanthropist and
a sponsor of the Bully Avengers.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
For that, we'd like to welcome Darius McDonald to the show.
Speaker 4 (10:22):
He is a life coach since twenty eighteen and one
of the people he wants to meet, which shouldn't be
surprised any of you guys, is Oprah Winfrey.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
Welcome to the show. How are you today?
Speaker 3 (10:34):
I'm doing well today. It's a great day here in Dallas, Texas,
so I'm doing well.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Great, Well, mister McDonald.
Speaker 4 (10:41):
We're so happy to have you on today's segment because
we know that as we move into two thousand and
twenty five, and everybody's mindset is on how do I grow,
how do I do more this year than I did
last year? How can I become a success? And as
a life coach, these are topics that you cover all
the time. So I guess My first question to you is,
(11:03):
I mean, tell me a little bit how you even
got into life coaching, Like what was your motivation?
Speaker 3 (11:09):
Yeah, great question. So my motivation was, Oh, my grandparents
raised me.
Speaker 5 (11:14):
And so I would listen in to some of my
grandmother's conversations with her friends or a neighbor or a
salesman who would come by the house and how she
would kind of flip the script. They're there to do
something for her, but then she would flip the script
and she would offer some life wisdom to aid and
making an impact in her life to see, and then
(11:35):
it also could see that transformation.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
So that's that's part of it.
Speaker 5 (11:39):
But also I've been in corporate America for one job
about thirty four years, that's the past my thirty fourth year,
and so in doing that, I was able to coach employees,
coach executives, but also coach some individuals BT sales reps
who I were interacting with and coach them in a
(12:01):
way that you know, there was life changing to get
them to move controm the direction of their dream or
their vision.
Speaker 4 (12:08):
I love that, and so you know, it's always nice
that when you can find something that you're passionate about
that speaks to your heart and the fact that you
had grandparents who incorporate and instilled that desire to support
others in such a profound way is truly remarkable. And
(12:28):
I guess here's my question, because I know that as
things progress in twenty twenty five, it's getting a lot
more difficult for people to maintain positivity. It's getting a
lot more difficult for people to have a positive outlook
when they're bombarded by so much negativity, not just in
their own workplace, our own and families and own households,
but even just in society in general.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
So my question for you, mister McDonald.
Speaker 4 (12:53):
Is, what are some positive daily habits that we can
engage in to try to maintain that positive life onset.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
Yeah, great question. There is a rule of one hundred.
Speaker 5 (13:05):
The rule of one hundred states that if you can
do something eighteen minutes a day, meaning eighteen minutes a day,
if that means that we know we have about twenty
four hours a day, and we all have the twenty
four hours a day, be it the common person, be
it the middle class, whatever positioning that you're in.
Speaker 3 (13:23):
We all have the same amount of time of day.
Speaker 5 (13:25):
But in that if we could just spend eighteen minutes
a day in that very thing, meaning that if you're
trying to learn a new instrument, if we're trying to
do something such as learn a new language, if we're
just trying to perfect certain things in our lives, if
we can do it eighteen minutes a day, we can
surpass ninety five percent of the world.
Speaker 3 (13:44):
But in that which it causes us to do it daily,
so we have to be sure that we're doing it.
Speaker 5 (13:48):
Doesn't matter how you're falling off the horse in life,
but it's more about getting back on the horse and
doing that eighteen minutes a day, so then you can
have that concentration in that very thing, and you can
see a movement in an area of the life that
you're focused on.
Speaker 2 (14:05):
I think that's phenomenal.
Speaker 4 (14:07):
Already my mind is thinking back to maybe something that
I could that I'm already doing eighteen minutes a day
of and seeing the improvements there. I think that's a
sustainable and reachabook goal for all of us. Find something
that you are passionate about, something that is positive, something
that can contribute to your overall well being, and commit
(14:27):
eighteen minutes to that on a daily basis. I think
that is phenomenal. Now, this is now coming from the
perspective of a life coach, someone who's helped people to
make these drastic changes in their life and to see
those self improvements. Can you tell me or share with
me any kind of stories of people who've been able
to implement this in their life and some of the
(14:48):
positive things that have resulted.
Speaker 3 (14:51):
Absolutely. So. I had a good friend amount of time
we the team member of mine.
Speaker 5 (15:01):
And so she had the dream of opening her own
or being her own insurance, being an insurant insurance agent,
and but it required her to think differently, and so at.
Speaker 3 (15:13):
The time, you know, she was just you know, she
was a team member of mine.
Speaker 5 (15:17):
And so when we had opportunity to spend time together
at just at lunchtime, just over lunch, having conversations about
you know, use a tools with what you have in
your hands to move to move the measuring stick a
little bit right. Sometimes we get all worked up in
what we don't have and we forget about the tools
(15:40):
in which we do have and which you if we're
using those tools, meaning that for her, it's more about
who do you know within your network that can help
aid and you getting getting the building that you need
to be able to start an agency, to have a place,
to have a sense of community, to have a place
in which way you can meet. You have someone within
your at work, yes, okay, let's make that call to
(16:03):
get that network started. Okay, then we started there. Okay,
Now you can carve out times. Yes, you have a
full time you have a job that's full time. However, okay,
what time of the day can you carve out that
you can be able to move the needle a little bit. Okay,
we can carve out the eighteen minutes a day to
be able to make cold calls or have meetings with clients,
(16:24):
to start to get to customer base and raise their
customer base in that area. So it was from there,
it was it was about three about a three month period,
about ninety days. And with that ninety day period, we
were able to get her from doing a you know,
an eight hour you know eight hour where we get
a place where you're doing eight hours a day, forty
(16:46):
hours a week. She moved from there and transitioned to
her own business. And that's not the full story. However,
we the consistency which she had to have consistency and
moving direction and the moving and confident in that direction
of her dream to be at that place. But she
had to be mentally and physically in that space to
see something move, meaning that our hands can be slacked
(17:08):
in anything. She had to work at it. And I'm
a firm believer that we have to work at it
daily to see the better results. So that means that
with her, those feelings, those thoughts, and those actions have
to rise to have those better results.
Speaker 4 (17:25):
That's that's phenomenal. I think that's a great, a great
example of some of the positive things that can happen
when we are constantly in a state of movement and flawing.
So that's that's that's awesome. So tell me a little
about now building a lifestyle that's designed to shape success,
(17:47):
because I mean, we can go from having positive habits,
now how do these how do we turn these habits.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
Though, into just a lifestyle.
Speaker 5 (17:58):
You know is mastering yourself daily. And what I mean
by that is is that we have to be sure
that we're moving in this place of where you're free.
So in the morning, you may have some affirmations that
you're going to go through and whatever affirmations that is
(18:19):
for you. But that means before you even hit the floor,
that you're already showing some gratitude in the space that
you have and where you be, where you do to
be and have in that space, and then you know
there's there's there has been shown to be great success
if you make your bed every day.
Speaker 3 (18:36):
It seems so simple.
Speaker 5 (18:37):
But if you can get control of that mindset and
not the mindset of you know, i'll make it, I'll
make my bed later, or I'm not making the bed today.
But if you could just move in the direction of
I'm going to make the bed today, make a decision
and move forward, that allows an energy to keep moving
forward throughout the day.
Speaker 3 (18:55):
So that energy has become stagnant uh in life.
Speaker 5 (18:58):
And so we with that and also making a decision
of and it's really about when you decide.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
Deciding is the greatest thing to master.
Speaker 5 (19:10):
And we have to be meaning that we have to
move with intention and not just you know, haphazitlvely just
moving through, but moving with intentionality.
Speaker 3 (19:20):
We have the opportunity to.
Speaker 5 (19:23):
Go to Broken Bow, Oklahoma for Thanksgiving, and so the
home that was there was on an incline, and so
we just couldn't just move in a way that wasn't
on purpose. We had to move with purpose to be
able to get up the incline to land on the
even surface. So the same thing in life. We have
(19:45):
to be sure that we're moving with intentionality to get
to the place where we're going.
Speaker 3 (19:49):
But it requires us to be in tune and not
just be on autopilot.
Speaker 5 (19:53):
There are some things we've mastered in life, and we
get so on autopilot that we don't see any moves
because we're not physically.
Speaker 3 (20:00):
Mentally in the space that we're in.
Speaker 5 (20:04):
And that's helpful when we're having those thoughts and something.
We have to make sure that if we're having thoughts
that are not serving us well, if they're if they're
contractive thoughts and they're expansive thoughts, that we have to
switch those contractive thoughts to an expansive thought to see
better results.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
Hmm, wow, that makes sense.
Speaker 4 (20:28):
That makes a lot of sense, and I really appreciate
the illustration about move with purpose, especially when you encounter
life's difficulties that may make uh putting forth effort quite difficult.
But nevertheless, like you mentioned, if you want to be
on a level surface, then you have to put forth
(20:49):
the effort to get up that hill. And so making
these intentional daily decisions to create a lifestyle that shaped
success is it?
Speaker 2 (21:00):
It just makes perfect sense. So I know this McDonald
that you help many individuals.
Speaker 4 (21:10):
Find uh the tools that they need or even rediscover
the tools that they already possessed to make some of
these life changing decisions and to kind of.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
Move forward with their life. Can you tell me a
little bit about your life coaching business.
Speaker 4 (21:23):
And and how you're helping people connect reconnect with success.
Speaker 6 (21:28):
Yes, so there there are there They are four quadrants
that we have in life that we all have that
we must be in tune with with ourselves. And those
four quadrants are relationships or love and relationships, and then
there is health and wellness. There's a vocation and then
(21:49):
time and money freedom uh that are in a mix
with all that. And so for me, we talk about
those four quadrants which we all have them, and so
in there we discuss which one it has, if you will,
a deficit in which there is some some longing to
that you have a different vision, and so what we
(22:11):
discuss which one is calling that has more energy to
it to where you see there needs to be a shift.
Speaker 3 (22:19):
Or a change in that area.
Speaker 5 (22:22):
So if it's you know, time and money freedom, maybe
you want to move from the lifestyle of being in
the nine to five and or is it is it
budgeting or what areas of that? Or if it's the
love of relationships that you know, maybe it could be
as simple as your look. Your perspective on love has
(22:43):
to do with you are so consumed with what you
don't want, but you're not articulating what you want to
see come to you. So in love, relationships and then vocation, well,
you know, I'm a firm believer we need to be
in a place that we love the job that we
already have, and we work in a place that we
(23:03):
already have the job that we that that we are desiring.
Speaker 3 (23:08):
So then that energy is really active and active energy.
Speaker 5 (23:13):
So then you can move towards the space of being
in the in the vocation or being in the relationship
or being with complete wellness and health and time and
money tab time and time and money freedom to be
in that space.
Speaker 4 (23:29):
Absolutely no, that that no, that makes sense and likes
you said, it goes back to that mindset and where
where is your thought process and how are you structuring
your thoughts because typically what we think of leads to
what we do.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
So I love the fact that you help.
Speaker 4 (23:45):
People to kind of refocus their their thoughts and reorganize
to make sure that they are moving forward with purpose
and intention.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
That that's phenomenal.
Speaker 4 (23:55):
I know that you also offer individual coaching and group coaching.
You have some pretty amazing testimonials on your website, and
I think what you're doing right now, mijair Man Donald
is so vital for individuals, especially as moving twenty twenty five,
to be able to get a little extra support and
assistance with maintaining positivity and actually moving forward with.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
Purpose and direction.
Speaker 4 (24:21):
I want to go ahead and read testimonial on your
website where it says there is has been a light
in my life and a pillar of my foundation over
the last year. I owe a great deal of gratitude
for his continued efforts, his encouraging words, and excellent guidance
and leadership. And so you know these are some of
your testimonials. People who have to work with you and
(24:41):
who speak to just help found of an impact that
you've had in their life. And so I want to
thank you so much for being on our show today
and sharing your wisdom with our audience. But I know
that there are other individuals out there who probably want
someone in a one time with.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
You, and I want to pick up individually.
Speaker 4 (25:00):
I definitely want to encourage everyone out there to please
connect with him. His His website is d maclifecoach dot com.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
That's d N A C L I F E C
O A c h dot com and you can learn
more about working with him his speak.
Speaker 4 (25:16):
You know, he also does speaking, So those of you
who are looking for an inspirational keynote speaker, this is
the person to come to.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
And there's so much more that you're going to.
Speaker 4 (25:26):
Be able to do by working on one with Darius.
And I want to thank you again for not only
sharing your wisdom with us, but also think a sponsor up.
Speaker 2 (25:35):
The Bully Avengers.
Speaker 4 (25:37):
You know, it's you know, human rights violations are something
that we all see on a regular basis. We see
it talking about the news, but there are very few
people who will actually step in and provide support for
those individuals who are the victims of human rights violations.
And so we want to thank you so much for
donating to that cause and you know, putting your money
where your mouth is and fighting against humanized violations internationally.
(26:00):
So there's so many wonderful things I could say about you,
and so we definitely want to express great appreciation for
you being on today now.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
Before we let you go.
Speaker 4 (26:08):
Is there anything that you would like to share with
us in some party, words of wisdom and advice that
you that you have for us.
Speaker 5 (26:16):
Yeah, I would just say that I know that most
of us at this time of the year that we
put a pause on where we want to see different
things to unfold in our lives, meaning that whole n.
Speaker 3 (26:30):
Ye part of our year that we look forward to.
Speaker 5 (26:34):
But what if I told you that you can have
what you desired today? What requires you putting the work
in today and the same energy you will have on
New Year's Eve when you want to.
Speaker 3 (26:46):
Turn that new leaf or you want to start that
new thing.
Speaker 5 (26:50):
You can start today because the energy that is that
you have that is breathing you now will be the
same will be the same energy, but you you.
Speaker 3 (26:58):
Could do it today.
Speaker 5 (27:00):
So be encouraged to know that put your desire is
definitely for you, but there's no need to pause.
Speaker 3 (27:08):
You can have it today.
Speaker 4 (27:11):
Wow, Well, I I appreciate that I know I needed
to hear that today, that's for sure, and I'm sure
many of us out there needed to hear that today.
So but today, uh, either day, there is an honor
having you on today, and thank you so much for
your your inspiration.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
Now for those of you guys again who are wanting to.
Speaker 4 (27:30):
Know how to contact him and connect with him for
life coaching, his website again is dmaclifecoach dot com. The
number on his website is two one four four three
five seven, and he is available to work with individuals
and help them to achieve greater success. You guys can
also go to this website and fill out the online
(27:51):
form there on the contact page as well and he
will be available again.
Speaker 2 (27:56):
So happy to have you on on the show today.
Speaker 4 (27:59):
Before I let you guys go at home, so I do,
guys want you to stick around for a few minutes
because we do have some bills to pay, so please
listen to a word from our partners.
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