Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This episode of The Lapsed Fan. This Unwrappening twenty twenty
five boss brought to you by our new friends at
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Speaker 2 (00:09):
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(00:30):
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(02:16):
Let him know the co chairman sent you this holiday season.
It's the Lapsed Fan Wrestling Podcast with Jack mcarnaco and
JP Sorrow.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
We've got an exciting Christmas program lined up produced folks.
We've been for a little boys this year. Every name,
it's an artificial tree. So I did artificial job, trummy
time and as is on your season player in ability
to adjust.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
Allow the ranglandeer the lapsed fan.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
For the million dollar man set it claus.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
In say it's not so, and welcome back to the
TLF Christmas Show. It's the unwrapping number four twenty twenty five,
your co Chairman assembled here in person, and the spirit
of the holidays and the spirit of mirth, yes, and
(03:19):
spirit of girth. There's no way I haven't said that,
Mr Too for that exactly. So I'm just leaving at
that and blur. If he keeps sitting on that garage.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
Seriously, I might as well, just be well more you're
gonna pass out probably before I know it.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
Let it be known. I mean, if you're looking to
stalk up this holiday season for the parties, the flips,
we get together's garage beer?
Speaker 2 (03:39):
What a com what a conversation start of that is?
You know what people say, hey, you know, hey, uh,
good to see you know, Merry Christmas? Hey you got
a beer, and it's like, yeah, you're like, what what
the fuck is this?
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Absolutely?
Speaker 2 (03:48):
What garage beer? This is a fucking conversation start it
was got out of my garage, let me go Well,
I got to the garage very exactly. Yeah, to the
garage right back. There's a brain. It's like fucking right
out of my own my own garage, my own garage beer.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
Motherfucker, there's a You're gonna be hard pressed to find more.
Match Maiden Heaven Hokan Savage style, Savage Liz style. I
mean my brother Mega Powers. Match Maiden haven't called what
you will but Garage Beer proud sponsors of not only
the complete Houll Cochan, but all Wes Do.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
Funny isn't it kind of funny that the Savage and
Liz did become the Match Maid in hell, you know.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
In so many ways. Oh, the match made in Heaven
was Luger and Liz myself, especially.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
At the end of the line. Yeah, when that nine
one one call happened?
Speaker 1 (04:34):
Should that that's a good little mini series wrestling nine
one one call.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
Oh my god, just like you know, because you know what,
you know what I would like to know. I would
like to talk to the people who were who were
on the other end of that nine one one call.
Oh my god, you know what were they thinking? I mean, Garen,
Obviously it's just dispatch, like they probably get a thousand
them every minute, but seriously, like but but after the fact,
they must have realized, holy ship, like I was that person.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
I was a headline event right there.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
Do they ever really talk to them the dispatch?
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Now the only thing you'll see is like, you know,
detectives investigated cases for years. We'll do reviews, but I've
never seen one with like I was. I came in
on a Tuesday and I was on the phone, right,
you know.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
Like some some fake athlete was on the phone.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
My name's Lawrence Fall. I'm scared of death. Oh h
come on, let's be nice. It's the Christmas time. Death
that's what he said.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
He said, I'm scared of death. I'm scared of death.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Scared to death.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
Oh, scared too.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
Yeah, it was time to reveal this deep like psychological theory.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
Yes, I'm scared of death.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
Nah, that's one way of telling the dispatcher she's dying.
I'm scared of death.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
N Sorry, my name is not NH.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
And who's It's Rachel But it's not Nachel Rachel boy,
Nick Flair, I said, I said Nick Flair. I don't
know why I said Nick at all. I wasn't even
part of it. I guess the end from nature made
its way. Rachel boy Rachel.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
Oh shit, that something.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
Dusty would have called him having a fit in the
Crockett days, like when Rachel Rachel ploy baby Rachel ploy,
they call Chell by Rachel boy daddy great put down.
No one knows what the fuck you're talking about.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
That's why they.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
That's why they're reacting.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Oh shit, all right, let's get this. So this is
a funny one. So this was sent to the the
p O box, but it's two Jillian Young.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Oh well, that not to the labs fan. So we
may we may well have someone else's We may have
someone else's math. We know Jillian well, and she's a
dearer friend and Solar System member. Her and Steve have
and such a private personal well male, those two have
sent us some very private They have pictures of Jerry
Lawler in various stages of undress, Michael Hayes as well.
(07:05):
Oh God, like those pillows you can get printed at
CBS with Michael Hayes's chest hair on it.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
I think where Yeah, Oh, I don't know. I'm not
I'm not thrilled. I see what looks like some kind
of flesh.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
That's how I can already tell, Oh God, what is
this meat soup?
Speaker 2 (07:21):
Maybe you know what you should probably do cause I'm
sure it's going to make me miserable, all right, So
I should see it from afar.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
So you can picture this. I'm holding it up in
front of JP's looking at it, and I'm about to
unveil it, sort of like a curtain.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
Dropping don't want to fucking so it's all folded up.
It looks like a sweatshirt or a jacket or a blanket.
I think it's a blanket. It's a blanket. Oh God,
Another one to tell my wife. Why do you have
a picture of this person.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
He always ends up with these. All right, I'm an
unfolded and step away for the fireplace.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
See what we got? Oh fuck that? No no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no no.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
I haven't seen it yet. Over the blanket, he's got
both of his arms crossed like he's getting punched in
the corner.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
Not gonna happen. I saw one glance. I'm done.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
He's got the back of his hand on his ear
and he's got his other elbow like over that arm.
He's forming an X over his ear and he's looking
away from what I'm about to turn around and reveal
is And you can go on our social to find
pictures of this of this stuff.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
Nope, nope, Oh.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
My god, boss, Boss, this isn't even like this isn't
even perverse or like, this isn't even like it's just
completely this is like a direct attack on.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
This is this is a that is that is a
harpoon to the to the heart. Is what that is?
That is it's it's it's Frank Silva. It's Frank Silva
from Twin Peaks, and it's the it's the incredibly horrifying
shot of him peering through the uh, the the edge
(08:59):
of the bed, the foot of the bed.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
I mean, if anyone listened to the Twin Peaks Journey
out of the Cinemat, you know how much we made
of just how electrifying a two second clip that is.
And I just spread it out on the floor in
front of you. Take one look, just one month I did.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
I saw his eye.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
I saw his eye.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
I looked at up the corner my back on I
I'm good, I'm good. I don't want to know.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
These two are sick. They are because you've spent a
lot of time on that show talked about how this
is like legitimately free, this is like right, I mean,
and then hes not turning around, not.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
To mention the fact that that that for those who
listen to Cinemat. No Jack sends me pictures of Frank
Silva sometimes over the chat, and I have to like
then send a bunch of ships so that the chat can,
you know, it can advance enough that I don't see
it when it pops up.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
Right when we start recording a show. He is sitting
at an incredibly unnatural angle right now, so as to
not have personal vision on this thing.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
There is a barcode that has got my fucking laser
vision right, full undivided attention. No good fuck, I saw
just look. I looked over the corner of my over
my sh older. I saw that one eye. I saw
his right eye. Okay, and that was more than because
the thing is like anyone who knows anything about fucking pictures,
It's like it doesn't matter where you are, he's always
(10:11):
looking at you.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
Well, I'm standing next to it. It's like to my
left and I actually, do you feel like he's looking
at it?
Speaker 2 (10:16):
Yeah? He is, he is.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
It's like the Mona Lisa following you around, you know.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
And we didn't even you know, again, and we didn't
even see the scariest one in the show. Season two
has got the scariest fucking.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
When he comes over the couch, over the couch.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
Did I show it to you?
Speaker 1 (10:31):
I saw it. Yeah, I don't know if I showed
it to you or not.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
I might have showed to you because it was just petrifying.
Now I'm good.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
Well, it's Christmas time and we've got to do this
for our beloved Sourcist members that they topped themselves here
because this is a twist.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Usually it's something that makes me grossed out.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Right pictures of Jerry Lawler taking a Selvie in bed
with no shirt on, Michael Hayes posing like maybe what I'll.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
Is Maybe what I'll do is I'll bring this home
in the middle of the night. I'll just put it
on my kid's bed. Oh, I'm jp.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
I'm so happy you guys do this Christmas show every year.
It brightens our home up every year.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
They say, good.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
I can't even fucking get.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
Him out of here, get him out of here. I
want to see him. I want to look at get
him out of here. Nope.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
We do this for Jillian and Steve.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
Nope.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
I'm kind of behind a table and boss Man can't
see at the table, so I've got It's like he's
got like like Tarett's or something, and he's like looking
at the ground. Nope, nope, nope, nope, saying to himself like.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
It's funny that this is the nicest guy in the world,
Like you know we talked about here is the nicest
guy in the world, but I that he's all scarious.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
This is the last thing we'll do and don't put
it away. Okay, okay, but we got to do this
for the Unwrappening for the Christmas to me. No, to
make it worth it, I want you to just look,
and I'm gonna lift it up slowly behind this table.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Just look.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
No, no, he turned away like a little baby, Like
a little baby sucking his thumb. He looks like if
you were to come upon a baby who hasn't come
out of who hasn't been allowed out of the basement
six years, and the baby is now nine and can't
speak a word of England and can't speak any language.
It's just been thrown down cans of tuna.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
But the Simpsons Halloween Special where Bart has a has
a has a a conjoined twin and they cut off
half and then put him mad.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
Frank Silva bas The Unwrappening or to Come is.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
A production of the Lab Entertainment Group. Its content is
intended for brevity use only.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
Sorry, we want