July 31, 2025 • 54 mins
In this video, Rosemary DeTrolio, RMT chats with Rita Denoyers-Garcia, Becoming Awake, NJ. She is a life shifter, coach, and comedian, specializing in giving helpful tools and techniques to stressed out moms. She has a wealth of guidance to share to help parents. Find her on Becomingawake.com
This video was from season 1. I own these podcasts and hope you enjoy them. Contact Rosemary with questions or to book a session at www.rosemaryd.com Hand of Light by Rosemary info@rosemaryd.com
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Episode Transcript
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(00:09):
Welcome to the Light Walker's Path.
Grow your spirit with Rosemary. In this show, Rosemary creates a
safe place to nurture your innerlight, ask questions, develop
new insights, and find your soul's purpose.
So please welcome the host of Light Walker's path.
Grow your spirit with Rosemary d'itrolio.
(00:41):
Good morning, I'm Rosemary, yourhost on Bold Brave TV and this
is the Light Walkers path streaming live on multiple
platforms. Join me Tuesday Eastern every
Tuesday to develop new insights and develop your soul's purpose.
The light Walker's path has enlightening conversations and
inspiration for you. Find us on YouTube, Spotify,
(01:03):
Apple podcast and many platforms.
Today is our our segment is called self compassion and my
guest is Rita de Noyers Garcia, owner of becoming awake, another
New Jersey resident and wonderful person.
She's the author of the Self Compassion Project and her
mission has been to teach with and skills to gain confidence
(01:25):
and calmness and happiness in the world.
She specializes in stressed out moms and comes from a solid
background of social work. So I'd like to welcome Rita to
the show today. Thank you SO.
Much. Laurie.
I'm so excited to see you today.How are you?
It's. Been a while.
(01:46):
I'm great. I'm doing great.
It's a beautiful morning here inNew Jersey.
It is, it is, it's, it's, it waswarm, very warm yesterday.
But you know, the 12 seasons of New Jersey, as we say.
So I'm excited that you're here.And I'd like to know a little
bit about like, I know you have a background in social work.
So my, my question is, when did you decide to make that shift
(02:09):
into what you're doing now for, for your business?
Like when did you decide I'm going to move from this venue
into what you do now? Yeah, that's a great question.
So what happened was, so I have three small children at the time
I was had three small children and I was actually doing health
and Wellness marketing. I do have that social work
(02:33):
background. When I was raising my kids,
doing social work was more difficult.
So I started a home business andmy home business was not doing
well. It was really imploding.
And I just remember that one dayI was got a phone call that
basically said, you know, this is not working out.
And I started to cry and I was sitting on the, you know, the
(02:55):
floor and all of those those voices in your head that you're
trying to subdue all the time came in.
So it was like you're a failure.You don't know what you're
doing. Wait, everything after six
months, you're a terrible mom. You know, all of the, there was
those voices came in and it was probably, it felt terrible, but
(03:20):
it was, I think it was one of the best things that ever
happened to me because it forcedme to take a look at what I was
doing and why I was doing it andto get real help.
And that's when I had a coach help me.
I hired a coach and one of the first things he said to me was
can you be kind and gentle with yourself?
(03:41):
Good advice. Good advice, I completely
resisted it. Yes.
I thought it was a bunch of malarkey.
My first reaction was like, what's the point of that?
I don't get it, I just should beworking harder, what are you
talking about? But because I also am kind of a
good student, I decided to give it a try.
(04:03):
And for a solid 30 seconds I wasn't beating myself up.
And I realized this is significant.
Pay attention to this. And I ended up making it a focus
of my life because it worked. And shortly after that I started
working with him. I worked with him for over 4
(04:24):
years. And shortly after working with
him maybe a few months, I started to feel significantly
better. And that's when I started to
reach out to my girlfriends, fellow moms and say, hey, I
don't know if you've noticed, but I've been feeling a lot
better. And I have some, you know, tool
something in my toolkit. Are you interested?
(04:45):
And three of those women said yes.
And that was my first group in my living room.
Isn't it funny how, you know, weas caregivers and people that
care for and guide other people,we often forget that compassion
for ourself. And I know too, like, you know,
we, we were raised like, just pull up your bootstraps, try
harder, do more, do more. And you're reminding women that
(05:08):
you can do the best when you take care of yourself first.
So I think that's that's really powerful advice for all of us,
really, not just moms, but like women in general.
I think we tend to overdo to do more, you know?
Oh, yeah. I mean, that's where I came
from. Now, I'm sure at some point in
my life someone had said, hey, slow your roll or maybe take a
(05:32):
breath, or you could be nicer toyourself.
But I couldn't take it in. I could not take it in until I
got to that place where everything was imploding and I
felt terrible. And I was desperate enough
because I had tried everything else to try something.
Yeah, You know, I, I think it, it is like for me, I always
(05:53):
thought I was being selfish to take care of myself so that in
my, it was so ingrained in my mind that you care for people
and you don't worry about how you're doing.
And I know I came up with the same thing.
I had gotten Epstein Barr in my 30s after going through divorce,
raising a baby and I was like wiped out.
And, and I, I, it really shook me to the point where, OK, I
(06:16):
really need to change how I'm treating myself because when I
don't, I'm going to fall apart and I'm raising this baby.
What am I going to do? So, you know, I would say I had
you then, you know, when I was going through it because you
would have been a great, a greathelper to me at that point in my
life. Yeah.
So that's that's wonderful. So you find most of you are
(06:38):
people that you work with are moms or women in general?
Yeah, so they're, most of them are moms.
Not all of them are moms, but usually they're spinning a lot
of plates and trying to do two or three major jobs in their
life. Raising their family is 1
starting a career, starting a business, helping a passion,
(07:00):
getting involved in the community, you know, so they're,
they're in a situation where they could be drained very
easily, especially if just one thing doesn't go the way they
think it's supposed to go. Absolutely.
Do you think a lot of it too is train retraining mindset?
Excuse me, like how you view a situation?
(07:22):
Because like you're saying, one thing goes wrong.
It's like the House of Cards, everything drops.
So do you find a lot of trainingwith like the mindset behind
those things? Mindset.
Is well, I think self compassionis a way to have a mindset about
yourself. It's self compassion in general
is a sympathetic consciousness. That's the, if you look it up in
(07:45):
the dictionary, it's a sympathetic consciousness that
acknowledges there's distress and then the desire to want to
alleviate that. So that's wanting to do that for
yourself. But a sympathetic consciousness
is a mindset. So how are you treating
yourself? What's your relationship to the
world? What's your relationship to
yourself? Are you adversarial?
Are you always trying to fight something or beat something or
(08:09):
race against something or, you know, crush something?
You know, we're like, we crushedit, you know, or are we in
collaboration with something? Are we, is the world helping us
or is it hurting us? Are we racing against time or
are we using owning time and using it to our advantage?
So those are all very different mindsets and depending on the
(08:33):
mindset, you can be completely drained or you can be full of
energy. I think mine was people pleasing
and I I think that's another thing that can kick you in the
tush if you're not careful. It's like you can be people
pleasing, but not to the point where you are not also looking
for your your sanity and grace within that parameter.
(08:58):
Yeah, I mean, once again, wanting to please people in
itself, there's nothing wrong with that.
And it can be a great gift. You know, there are a lot of
people who like to make other people feel good, and that's
wonderful. It's the overuse.
Absolutely, yes, that's the. Only tool in the toolkit?
Yeah, if all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a
nail. If that's your only thing that
(09:20):
you're doing all the time, then and that becomes a self
sabotaging force in your life for sure.
Yes. So when you have a new client,
do you give them like you know, when they meet with you, do you
give them a tool right away thatthey can leave you and practice?
I know you do. So I'm going to ask you to tell
(09:41):
about that. So I would say if you have a
call with me, right, and you never work with me again, I
would teach you just very something very simple to do.
And my freebie is does that too.My freebie is like, you know,
breathing in a certain way so that you get maximum amount of
oxygen and you can relax. I teach all about just taking a
(10:05):
pause in your life, you know, just taking up.
Most women are like, go, go, go,go, go.
You know, it's like America runson Dunkin.
Remember that. That's.
All about it's all speed going faster, faster.
Harder, yes, I find too, like inour area to Rita, people move
fast. You know, New York, New Jersey,
(10:27):
the Eastern Seaboard. We're always busy, busy, busy.
You know, absolutely. And I think there's another part
of the mindset, which is to be productive and to be doing
things and to be busy is virtuous.
That means you're worthy of something.
And it's like, yes. You're not what you do and and I
(10:51):
think that's another lesson I'velearned in life.
It's like I identified so strongly being a teacher.
I was a teacher for 32 years. So that was my identity, so to
speak. Or you're a mom or you're this
or you're that. All those labels that we call
ourselves isn't really us. That's what we do.
Those are our actions, but that's not really who we are in
our core. You know, that's something that
that it's taken me a while to get when I was younger.
(11:14):
You know, it's like I'm lovable just being me, you know?
That's existing. You're worthy because you exist
and you wouldn't exist if you weren't worthy.
That's a mindset. Now, it doesn't mean you don't
do anything with your life. It doesn't mean that you just
sit around all day and do nothing and go, hey, I'm worthy.
But out of that worthiness, either that sense that
(11:37):
foundation, you do amazing things because you're not trying
to compensate for not being worthy.
I think that was a big one for me was how how many of the
things that I was doing in my life were compensation for a
core belief I had of not being enough.
Yeah, I, I think that's really good advice because I know that
(11:58):
it's, it's tough when you have achild and you have this
responsibility in your hands. You know, that in itself is such
a overwhelming like, wow, I havethis human to raise and they're
all so different. So even if you do the same thing
with three different children, each person comes in with, you
know, their, their past life, their karma, their, their
actions, their, their path that they're going to take.
(12:21):
And it's so different for every child.
You know, it's a, it's a big responsibility.
Kids are a box of chocolates, asthey say you.
Never know what you get right. I know.
Oh my gosh. OK, so my question is like, what
would be your one best thing youwould tell a person that at this
(12:43):
point might be struggling being a parent?
What's the one thing you would say?
This is my sentence that I want you to put this on your
refrigerator. I would say this is the best
thing that could have happened to you.
OK, I agree. I agree.
Yeah. Sometimes when you get that rug
(13:05):
pulled out from under you, you realize that it you can find a
magic carpet, you know, you you can, you can find the the gift
in that in that situation. I know in my life, you know, I
went through a divorce when my child was a couple months old.
And for me the gift in it was learning who I was alone and
then redeveloping my independence from it.
(13:25):
And then going on. So you know, we we all find
something at the gift out of outof the manure, so to speak.
So that's a mindset, and that's a mindset.
If you can find the gift in every problem or situation or an
opportunity in there, you're golden.
And I agree, and that's kind of how I've lived my life is that
(13:46):
there's an opportunity with every life lesson.
And if you can draw that out, that Pearl of wisdom from it,
then you're able to move ahead. But if you can't, you get stuck
in that problem and without a solution.
And and that's where people get stuck.
We're coming up on a sponsored break.
So I'm Rosemary and you're watching the light walkers path
on Bull Brave TV and my my guestis Rita.
(14:08):
And we'll be right back with more interesting conversation
about self compassion and caring.
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(16:19):
Welcome back. This is the light Walker's path.
Grow your spirit with Rosemary on Bull Brave TV.
And my guest today is Rita Garcia, and she's a wonderful
person who owns Becoming Awake and is a wonderful guide for
women. And before we broke, our
conversation was about what we do and our self compassion.
And my question for you, Rita, is what are some of the best
(16:41):
things that you do to keep yourself centered and grounded
in times of stress? So one of the things that I do
first and foremost is I try to get a good night's sleep.
Oh yeah, that's a trick. You well get outside to walk
every day. Move my body, be with people
(17:02):
that I care about that I can laugh with.
There's a, there's a great book called Miracle Morning, I think
it's called, where it talks about it's for business owners
and it's talking about how to make your morning like
miraculous and full of energy. And usually it's like meditation
and this and that. And I thought, you know what
really helps me? I like to get out having
(17:24):
something to drink and be with people and laugh.
So every morning, pretty much every morning, I go to our spot,
I meet with a a bunch of people who have the time to do that and
we just laugh. We laugh at ourselves, we laugh
at the world, we laugh at whatever.
(17:46):
And I have to say it is a great way for me personally to start
my day. So I think everyone's going to
have their own unique formula and it can be out-of-the-box
like that, like it that was not written in in the book, go have
coffee with a bunch of guys and laugh.
It was very, we need that. As an extrovert I need that.
(18:07):
Big. People thing, especially as a
solopreneur. Yes, yes, I, you know, it's
funny because as a, as a child, I was very, very shy.
So I was considered introverted in, you know, people knew me,
let's say in high school, but I was really like a hidden
extrovert because I love being in front of a group and I love
presenting and I, you know, I, Ijust love talking and getting
(18:28):
the word out. But yet if you put me in a party
where I don't know people, I'm going to gravitate toward a few
people where I can have good conversation with rather than
flit around the room, you know, so my sister is a total
extrovert. She loves I was, you know, in
the whole room. She knows she can just, like
butterfly through the whole thing.
I'm like, no, just give me two or three people in a small group
and I'll be right. I'll be good right here, you
(18:50):
know. I'm in, So yeah, yeah, I'm that
kind of gal as well. Yeah.
I don't like to go to the stadium.
That's too much for me. I'd rather be in a smaller
clutch of people. Yes.
And I know that you have an interesting hobby outside of
your business that you love to do related to laughing.
(19:10):
Do you want to talk about that or not?
Sure. Yeah.
No, no, I told you never to bring that up.
No, what I do is I do stand up comedy as a hobby.
I started doing that in 2017. I took a class, believe it or
not, you can take a class in stand up comedy.
You can take a class in anythingthese days.
(19:30):
And I saw it at the adult schooland I was terrified of it, which
tells me I kind of needed to do it.
You know, it was one of those like, I just need to do this and
signed up for it and met some really lovely people that were
in all different, you know, walks of life that I never would
have hung out with otherwise. And we learned how to craft 5 to
(19:53):
10 minutes of jokes. And then graduation was to
perform that at a club. Wonderful.
Yes, and it was. Terrifying and yet exhilarating
at the same time, like a lot of these experiences.
And I just kept doing it, kept taking the class, kept doing it.
And now I have the privilege andhonor of teaching moms how to do
(20:18):
that as well. You know, women who want to have
that experience. And man, these women are
hilarious. They are hilarious.
There's so much funny stuff whenyou work with kids or when you
have kids that like when you talk about it there.
I know I was watching one of your podcasts that you did, you
know, one of your comedy things and you just had me rolling.
(20:38):
I'm like, it's so true. You know, the stuff that you
know you that happens, but you don't really talk about it.
Maybe with other brothers, you might you know, there's some
funny stuff kids do that just itcracks you up.
So that's a lot of information to to talk about in a comedy
show, right? Yeah, it just the I say the
jokes right themselves, right? Either my husband says something
(21:00):
funny or my kids say something funny, or I find myself in a,
you know, kind of a Lucille Ballsituation.
And it just makes life lighter. And you just kind of see the
ridiculousness of it all. And, and it seeps into the
coaching too, because there's somany times where we take
ourselves so seriously, right? And sometimes, you know, my
(21:24):
response to my client says, hey,welcome to planet Earth.
You know, they'll, they'll talk about something like, Can you
believe this happened? Or da, da, da.
And I'm like, yeah, that's beingan Earthling, you know?
And just. That can trigger a little
laughter or a little like looseness.
Wiggle room in the serious situation so that you can make a
(21:47):
better decision. And when I started the comedy,
it was really completely for selfish reasons.
I just wanted to have the experience.
I wanted to prove to myself I could do it because I'd done
other kinds of comedy like sketch comedy and prov.
And I thought, well, stand up. That's like another level.
(22:08):
But what happened after that first show is I did my set.
I left stage. I was kind of in that.
I can't believe I did that. And I'm standing in the back of
the club where there's like a little bar and I'm having my
little drink of white wine with the bartender who says, hey, you
did pretty good there. And I'm like, thanks.
(22:28):
And this woman comes up to me and she says, I have 3 kids too.
I never get out of the house. I came to see one of your
classmates. But I have to say, your jokes
made me laugh so hard I almost peed my pants.
I love that. That's a great.
I thought, well, I hope you werewearing a panty shield.
(22:48):
That's what I said to her. But but what I wanted to say to
her was thank you. I had no idea that I was having
an impact on anybody other than like, laughing, but a
therapeutic, cathartic impact. And it really drove home to me
that humor is so healing. It's so healing.
My father was hysterical. My father was a funny man.
(23:10):
He'd walk in a room. He had this, this presence about
him. He was a very loving, like a
teddy bear kind of personality and he was hysterical.
He, he went on a trip with his family members to Hawaii and on
the bus, he, he decided to take the mic.
He starts singing and telling jokes and the people on on the
this thing were some of them were Japanese.
They thought he was a celebrity from America.
(23:33):
So he's got somewhere in Japan. He's got his arm around all
these little Japanese people andthey're taking his picture and
they're going, oh, Sam, Sam, they love my father.
And everybody that talks about him laughs because he was so
funny and it just made people feel joyful.
And that's how I love, you know,I just have that even today,
after he's gone all these years,I think about stuff he says and
(23:54):
we we kid about it, you know, wehave like certain things my
father would say, you know, and it, it is very healing when you
when you have laughter in your life.
Yeah, yeah, absolutely it. Laughter is best medicine.
Yes, when you're talking about time, like telling comedy, a lot
of it is timing. And I was thinking of like in
(24:15):
life too, it's always divine timing.
And sometimes when we force willfor something to happen, it
doesn't happen because the timing's not right or the
situation is right for us. And I think that when people
realize that they set back and say, you know what, let me just
wait on this decision and and see what happens.
And I think that's really good advice for just stepping back
(24:38):
and waiting for timing, waiting for the timing, you know?
Absolutely, yeah. If if you've had kids, we've all
had that, that visual of your toddler trying to do something
that they can't do and they're just like getting frustrated and
they're trying to force it. And all you have to do is kind
of relax and just go. And sometimes you allow them to
(25:00):
have their machinations around that.
And sometimes you just show them.
You know, I think of myself often if I'm in that situation
where I'm like, I'm like a toddlers, like trying to force
something and getting having my little tantrum.
And if I could just take a step back and parent myself, which is
what self compassion is really, it's a re parenting of yourself
(25:23):
and just go, I'm sorry, you knowyou're suffering with that.
I'm so sorry. Why don't you just take a little
break and sit on my lap and thentry again later.
See how? It is, yeah.
I think, I think that's great advice.
And I, I often think about, you know, sometimes our frustrations
are voices you hear from your childhood and patterns that you
have to break and take a look atagain.
(25:46):
And some of it is like, you don't have to always get that
A+. Like to me, my mother was very,
very driven. She was a, a super student.
She was valedictorian. So me, I always had to get the
A+. Like, no, no matter what it is,
I have to get the A plus, I haveto do my best.
And sometimes it's like, sometimes it's OK if you don't
get the A+. You know, just like give
yourself a break. You're doing a lot.
(26:09):
And that's, that, That's a relearning.
That's a relearning. That is a relearning.
Like, yeah, it's not always going to be an A+.
And guess what? There's always going to be a
person who does better than you.There is, there always will be.
Yeah, yeah. Don't drive yourself crazy with
that one. Absolutely.
So I was going to ask you, what are some of you said some of
(26:31):
your your early challenges in life.
So like when you have someone that comes up with a lot of
challenges in their life, what would be the thing you would say
that their first step would be? So someone that's faced with a
lot of swirling family issues and junk around them.
I always say you're like the eyeof the storm.
You know, you're in the middle of all this storm going around
(26:53):
you. What is your first thing that
you would tell somebody to do before you started?
Like even guiding them actually.What would be your your one?
I think I would help them to seethat they are their own guide.
So it would be to I'd be like, OK, I get AI get a picture for
what's going on. Now are you you want to play a
(27:14):
game with me? Let's see, let's play with
something. And they go, all right,
whatever. And then I'll be like, I want
you to just close your eyes, take a couple breaths at your
own pace until you feel a littlemore centered.
You know, that may take some time because they may not be
used to doing that. Then I say, OK, now I want you
(27:34):
to put your hand on your heart and I want you to ask yourself a
question. And the, and the question is,
what do I really want right now?Very similar to.
Guy is. Yeah, it could be.
What do I really want? What's the next step?
Show me the way, whatever the question or the statement is,
(27:56):
that is appropriate. But it's a it's a calming and
then they get that experience ofthe calm within them that always
is there in the background. Under the noise under.
All the noise, where's the stillness and the silence?
And there's a million different ways to do that.
(28:16):
Yeah, I I too. When I, when I guide clients
too, a lot of them are stuck in their brain and the answer never
up here, this is the processor, it's always down in the heart
center. So I guide them to drop the
energy down into the heart center and ask your heart what
do you want, What will make you happy?
And that usually guides them thebest way.
We're coming up on a break pretty soon and next minute.
(28:39):
So we're going to finish our speak more of our conversation
after the break. This is the light Walker's pass
on Bold Brief TV. My guest is Rita.
And then when we come back, we're going to finish our or
talk more about our conversationon heart awareness and what our
heart knows that we don't know. OK, we'll be right back.
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safety and into awareness. It's like a flow inside.
Yeah, it feels good. Whether in person or online,
Shiraz provides personal coaching.
Belief shifting. Visit shiraz@energeticmagic.com
or call 416-529-7429. Energetic Magic on the BBM
(29:49):
Global Network, Tuesdays at 7:00PM Eastern.
Find your greater happiness. Be well, be aware, be magical.
Are you struggling to care for elderly parents or a spouse?
Do you wonder if being a caregiver is making you sick?
Are you worried about taking time off work to care for
(30:10):
elderly parents and balance worklife and caregiving?
Has caregiving become exhaustingand emotionally draining?
Are you an aging adult who wantsto remain independent but you're
not sure how? I'm Pamela D Wilson, join me for
the Caring Generation radio showfor caregivers and aging adults
Wednesday evenings 6 Pacific, 7 Mountain, 8 Central and 9:00
(30:31):
Eastern, where I answer these questions and share tips for
managing stress, family relationships, health,
well-being and more. Podcasts and transcripts of The
Caring Generation are on my website, pameladwilson.com, plus
my caregiving library. Online caregiver support
programs and programs for corporations interested in
supporting working caregivers. Help, hope, and support for
(30:53):
caregivers is here on The CaringGeneration and Pamela D
wilson.com. Welcome back.
I'm Rosemary. This is the light Walker's path.
Grow your spirit with Rosemary. We're on Bold Brave TV streaming
live. And my guest today is Rita.
And when we went before break, we were talking about the wisdom
(31:14):
of the heart related to what your path is and what your best
choices are. And they're not in your head,
even though we think they are. So what?
What's your thoughts on on your heart wisdom, Rita?
Like when you work with clients,what what does their heart tell
you that their brain will not tell?
Oh, that's a good question. So the brain, you know, we're
(31:37):
thinking so many thoughts. What do they say, 67,000
thoughts a day or something? Everyone's got a different
number, but we're thinking a lotof thoughts and they're swimming
around. And I found that a lot of people
kind of ignore what's going on in their heart because they're
trying to solve all their problems with their head, right?
Because the ego is like, I got it.
I have total control, figure this out.
(31:59):
I'm going to cause more problemsthan I solve.
But you know, I'm important and the heart is just there.
You know, one of the exercises Ido, which I got from positive
intelligence was to feel, just feel your heartbeat with your
hand. And what I added to that
exercise was, can you realize that you don't even have to
(32:19):
think for your heart to beat. You don't have to tell it to
beat. It just beats on its own.
It's always there in the background, always taking care
of you. And when you really take that
in, you realize, wow, my heart is always there helping me out,
literally allowing me to walk around and be alive, right?
(32:40):
So maybe it's got something to share with me.
It, it, it, it's sort of like your, your heart speaking to
your brain going. I've got some, I've got some
things to add here. If you're interested, you could
take that in. Yes, it just.
Brings the attention to the heart and, and so you start to
appreciate the heart and then you start being able to focus on
(33:02):
it more. And when you're focused on your
heart, your whole Physiology changes.
Does it? Does it?
Absolutely. It raises your vibration and it
sends out patterns that are different.
And if you ever go to heart mathorg, they have some amazing
information that the heart patterns and goes out and out
and out and out. And it affects not only you, but
(33:23):
people in your energy field. And that's one of the techniques
I teach my healers too, is like link in with that heart energy
and think of like something you love and then get that feeling
in your whole body and then makea decision because you can't
make the decision. If you're up here chattering,
you know you're gonna you're gonna talk yourself in or out of
something, but you know that you, you should be listening to
(33:44):
your heart instead. And that got people over
thinkers. Absolutely.
And I I have recently been exposed and have access to some
tools that I use with my clientswhich are all around
subconscious deprogramming and what happens?
When you. Deprogram the subconscious and
you reprogram it. It automatically allows the
(34:07):
heart to have more influence because your body's relaxed.
You're not in your, your emergency reactiveness in your
head, you, you're able to go, OK, that's no longer an issue
for me. And then you drop down in your
heart and you can hear what thatwisdom is because your whole
body's involved. Then it's not just your head.
(34:28):
The dopamine is your whole body.The oxytocin can, can start
being pumped. You feel better.
And when you feel better and you're in that higher vibe, you
get more ideas. You just get more access to the
sky. You see the bigger picture.
Yes, and one of the things that that I do before I make a
decision is I go into heart center and then I, I imagine in
(34:50):
great detail the decision. And if I feel open and expansive
and like, oh, then I know it's ayes.
And if I feel shut down or anybody sensation in in the
stomach area, it's either a weight or a no.
And it's led me correctly every time.
Like even if I'm going to an event before I do it, I go into
heart center, I feel it. And then if I get yes, yes, yes,
(35:13):
then I do it. And if I don't, I wait and then
I'll ask again. If I still get a no, it's a no.
And and no matter how I try to say that's a great idea, if my
brain tells me my body doesn't agree, then I know it's not
right. You know, they have to think.
They have to be In Sync. Absolutely.
Like water going down a pipe, ifit's there's a clog, it doesn't
(35:34):
go any further. You got to unclog.
Yeah. Unclog the drain.
So I was going to ask if you hadany kind of things that you had
as a child. I was very intuitive.
So I'm going to ask you, you probably were as well.
But were there some things that filtered through when you were
younger that you came back to asan adult and said, you know
what, I had this thing, I'm going to develop it.
(35:55):
Or, you know some some kind of inner gift you had when you were
younger that you maybe realized or didn't realize.
So I would say early on, I realized I was sensitive to the
energy in a room, the mood in the room.
I would walk in and I would kindof notice if the if there was a
(36:16):
heaviness or or not. And and then I would look around
for clues. And sometimes it was like the
conversation automatically stopped when I walked in, right,
Or people would look at each other.
So I already have those sort of clues as well.
And then a lot of times people are like, oh, everything's fine.
And I knew things were not fine you.
Could feel it. I could feel it.
(36:37):
And so, you know, looking back at that, I knew how to walk into
a room and to protect myself, right?
So and I also realized, so it's great to be that sensitive
person, but that sensitivity is only as good as you learn how to
(36:58):
have great boundaries and right because otherwise you just, you
want to bubble wrap yourself allthe time boundaries.
Are I'm the same way Rita, So I understand completely.
Like I was a kid and if if someone argued in that room an
hour before, I'd walk in and I'dfeel it, you know, So I was also
very sensitive in groups. If someone was sad, I would
(37:19):
know, like, oh, so and so is sadand they're, they want to cry.
And it's helped me a great deal in my business.
But I have learned, you know, I have very strong boundaries with
clients and with with people, you know, I really do.
And and it's something that is avital thing for empathic people
because you are an empath if you're sensitive to energy,
right? Yeah.
Yeah. And.
(37:39):
Also, when I was a kid, if I went to a mall with my mom, I
would immediately feel anxious and depressed.
And I just thought, I hate shopping or I hate capitalism or
I hate consumption or I hate whatever it was.
But I think what I was really picking up on was this, this
(38:00):
Stew of all these different feelings people were feeling and
I was picking up on them and it was very, it was too much.
It was too much for me. I, I remember going to
Alexander's, which was this big department store when I was a
kid and you know, they always had the sales.
My mother would love to go. She'd bring my sister and I and,
you know, we'd be shopping for hours.
I would be like, so wiped out just walking in that place the
(38:21):
same way I could feel the energyand the people and the vibe.
It's like, Oh my gosh, I was wired.
So, you know, I know for me, like I have to come home and
clear myself and I have to sit in my garden or pull weeds or
something earthy to get myself back and cleared up, you know?
Absolutely, yeah. I've been known to lay down on
(38:42):
the grass and just earth to ground myself.
Yeah, absolutely. That that's.
Really vital. And I think, you know, we're not
always taught these skills. Like I, I know we're not taught
these skills. And I think what surprised me
was when you're younger, you think everybody has the same
experience you have 'cause you don't know.
And then you're like, you go through it and like, wow, they
(39:03):
don't feel what I feel or they're not getting the vibe
from this room like I am. And then you put it together
when you're older, like, oh, wow, like not everybody's
feeling the same thing. And you don't know, You take it
for granted, right? Absolutely, yeah.
So what's the quality you wish people had more of automatically
(39:29):
self compassion. OK, good.
Good answer. Good answer.
Yeah, Yeah. The world will be a kinder
place, right? You can't.
Well. Yeah, I think, well, I remember
having this kind of debate back and forth because one of my
friends says, no, they should bemore compassionate to each
other. And I said, well, the reason
they're not compassionate with each other is because they're
not compassionate with themselves.
(39:51):
That's right, they think, for. Themselves automatically.
It spills over, yeah. Yeah, You can't give what you
don't have, right? I, I think too, when you have
the sense of, like when I approach something, I try to
think from the viewpoint of a loving feeling before I decide.
Because if you don't have that first, you'll tend to make a
(40:12):
decision out of ego or, or something else, right.
So it's a good thing, I guess. It's that compassion, a very
Buddhist thing really. Yes.
OK, So the kind of people that you like to hang out with, you
said are funny people. Is there like it in a room?
Would you gravitate toward the people having conversation,
(40:33):
laughing, seriousness, like whatit what would be like?
I got to know that person kind of thing.
What would draw you to somebody?I, I enjoy both laughter and
sort of deep philosophical conversations.
I, you know, I've been, I'm not into astrology, but I'm a
Gemini. So they're like, of course you
(40:54):
do, Of course you want all of us.
But I think in general, if I walk into a room and I see
people laughing, I'm very curious about what they're
laughing about. But I would say not every, not
every person who laughs is my cup of tea.
I like people who are kind of open.
They are, they can have a a conversation without getting too
(41:15):
defensive. They're not self-righteous.
They're more kind of like, yeah,I can see that.
I can see that too, because that's the kind of person I am.
You know, I definitely have my opinions about things, but I
could be like, yeah, I can see that point of view and I can see
that too. I kind of side more here, but I
understand where these people are coming from and not putting
anyone in the oh, those people. I that's where I get a little
(41:39):
turned off when people are like,well, those people.
That's like, yes, yes, whatever.I agree.
And I, I think too, you know, opinions are, are OK,
everybody's got one. But The thing is, you have to be
open enough to have a conversation, even if it's not
what you believe. And I think there's a great lack
(41:59):
now with this kind of judgmentalmindset that, oh, my God, you
might hurt my feelings if you say this the wrong way.
I'm like, you know, gonna make mistakes, and that's life.
I think you just have to allow each other to express yourself
clearly without infringing on someone else's rights
intentionally. And I think that's it, you know?
(42:22):
Well, me disagreeing with someone doesn't mean that I'm
against them, or I'm a phobe or a hater or that I'm taking the
rights away at all. That's.
Right. It's just an opinion.
It's just your opinion. Absolutely.
Yeah. OK.
I would like to know if you wereto find the perfect client for
(42:44):
you, how do you describe a person that is your perfect
person or your perfect client that you'd say I got that.
My perfect client is someone that I've already worked with,
so I can describe her to a tee. She's a professional mom.
She's got kids. She cares about them so much and
(43:05):
she really wants to work on her career or her passion.
She's she will tell me she's afraid, but she's also game.
She's game too do whatever it isthat I asked her to do.
She is enthusiastic. She's ready.
She's ready to make the change. She's dedicated to the change,
(43:27):
willing to do. She just willing to do whatever
it takes and is open to be coached, is open to say, hey,
have you thought of this? Have you tried that?
Did you? What do you really want?
Do you really want that, you know, someone who's been around
the self help section of the bookstore you know, and but
(43:51):
feels kind of stuck, knows that there's more and doesn't know
how to access it and is open to me helping her with that?
Yes, yes, I love your your workbook to yourself Compassion
Workbook. I know you had given me a copy
years ago when I met you. And after the break, I want you
to just highlight that book and how they can reach you as well.
(44:11):
We're coming up on a sponsor break.
This is the light worker's path.Grow your spirit with Rosemary
and Bull Brave TV. My guest is Rita, and we'll be
back shortly for the last segment of our show.
Thank you. Did you know that your beliefs
create your entire reality? But it's the subconscious
beliefs that do most of the creating.
(44:31):
Belief Shifter and Life Coach Shiraz can help you identify
those limiting beliefs and eliminate them, often in a
single session. Like it was almost instant, like
I had relief right away. Creating better health,
relationships, careers, and finances.
Let Shiraz help you step out of safety and into awareness.
(44:52):
Definitely something's happening.
It's like a flow inside. Yeah, it feels good.
Whether in person or online, Shiraz provides personal
coaching. Belief shifting.
Visit shiraz@energeticmagic.com or call 416-529-7429.
Energetic Magic on the BBM Global Network, Tuesdays at 7:00
(45:15):
PM Eastern. Find your greater happiness.
Be well, be aware, be magical. Are you struggling to care for
elderly parents or a spouse? Do you wonder if being a
caregiver is making you sick? Are you worried about taking
time off work to care for elderly parents and balance work
(45:35):
life and caregiving? Has caregiving become exhausting
and emotionally draining? Are you an aging adult who wants
to remain independent but you'renot sure how?
I'm Pamela D Wilson, join me forthe Caring Generation radio show
for caregivers and aging adults Wednesday evenings 6 Pacific, 7
Mountain, 8 Central and 9:00 Eastern, where I answer these
(45:56):
questions and share tips for managing stress, family
relationships, health, well-being and more.
Podcasts and transcripts of The Caring Generation are on my
website, pameladwilson.com, plusmy caregiving library.
Online caregiver support programs and programs for
corporations interested in supporting working caregivers.
Help, hope, and support for caregivers is here on The Caring
(46:18):
Generation and Pamela D wilson.com.
Welcome back. This is the light Walker's path.
Grow your spirit with Rosemary. My guest is Rita and before the
break I asked her about herself.Compassion Workbook, which is a
wonderful read. I I had an opportunity to have
(46:40):
to have a copy of it and I read through it, passed it along to
someone who I thought they needed it after me.
And Reed, I want you to tell about your workbook.
So it's actually right, right back there, you can kind of see
it a little bit. It's a, it's a workbook that I
created based on what I'd learned and what I discover in
(47:01):
my own experimentation with cultivating my own sense of self
compassion. And it's not a long workbook.
It's like 44 pages. It's divided into 3 sections,
Self compassion, obviously acceptance, huge part of the
whole game and then integration.How do you bring it into your
life? How do you leave your everyday?
(47:25):
And it's really a lot of exercise, explanation and lots
of examples for my own life and the lives of my clients and just
exercises, a lot of journaling prompts really.
So you can kind of take it into your bed, under your blanket
with a cup of tea and you can just start looking at the
(47:45):
questions and feeling into it and just start writing.
And for me, writing things down gets it out of your head where
everything is swimming and it's puts it back on paper so that
you can see it objectively. And you get a much clearer
picture of what you're really thinking, 'cause it's not
constantly changing. It's not like boop, boop, boop,
(48:06):
boop, boop, boop, boop. It's just like, oh, this is what
I've been thinking. Wow.
Yeah, yeah, it's, that's the mind dump.
I always tell people that can't sleep at night, do the mind
dump, get everything on paper and then clear it out of the
attic, you know, and then put itaside.
You don't need to think about it2 in the morning.
It's there on paper if you want to look at it in the morning,
you know. Yeah.
(48:27):
And there are different ways to do that.
You can. You can write it down, you can
draw it. Some people are much more into
drawing than writing. Some people need to move it out
of their body. Some people need to vocalize it
so you can do it in different ways.
There's not just one way to kindof dump that stuff that's
(48:47):
bothering you so much, but then the other piece is really about
just being your own best friend,being your own BFF.
Instead of beating yourself up as a strategy, try befriending
yourself. Because I promise you it's going
to work out better. I promise you it's better.
I, you know, I also say too, listen to how what you talk,
(49:09):
talk to yourself and say to yourself when you make a mistake
or when you're unhappy. Because if you're beating
yourself up or calling yourself names, that's a big clue to, you
know, not treating yourself withkindness, you know, and that's,
that's a pattern that has to be broken.
Absolutely. You can be the the worst
roommate you've ever had in yourbrain.
(49:30):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. So if they want to reach you,
what is your website address, Rita?
Itsbecomingawake.com OK, one word becoming awake and the book
is on there in various forms. There's APDF you can download.
There's I think a physical book is going to lead you to my
(49:53):
Amazon link. It's just easier for me to have
Amazon do that or Goodreads. And also in Barnes and Noble and
Goodreads. So you can get in different
forms. And then of course on Amazon you
can get Kindle. So there's you can get in
various forms, various prices. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, I have a lot of my books I did on on Amazon.
(50:16):
I had, I just did a workbook inspired a book of the heart,
inspired by angels, a book of the heart.
It's a workbook and I'm working on my second one.
Should be hitting Amazon probably within the next two
weeks. But you know, I, I just, yeah, I
have 8 of them up right now. I'm gonna be also at a book
event in New Jersey at the Burkhola Winery this weekend
coming up. So that's a good, that's a real
fun one to do. So what would be your final,
(50:39):
like your best advice that you want people to take away from
what you do and who you are? What would be your your best
advice? My best advice is to notice
where you already are. Good to yourself.
In other words, do you take a pause?
(50:59):
Do you breathe? Do you sigh?
Do you take a walk and then build from there?
Because one of the biggest things that we do to ourselves,
Rosemary, and you know this, I'msure you tell us that we think
we can't do it or we've never made progress.
And it's so much easier to find where you are doing it even a
little way in the build from that place than to build from a
(51:21):
from a place of well, I can't doit and this is going to be hard.
Yeah, they say if you can't, you'll always be right.
You know, if you say you can or you can't, you're always right
because you'll act to that belief, right?
That's right. OK, let me see now if there's
anything else I wanted to ask you.
So do you have any workshops or classes coming up that you want
(51:46):
your clients to know about or people to know about?
Yes, if you're in New Jersey, I have a workshop, Woo Hoo in
Westfield, NJ and it's all aboutthe Self Compassion Project
workbook where literally you're going to get a copy of the book
and we're going to do about 1/3 of it.
It's it's people buy books all the time and they never crack
(52:09):
them open. They go, they think that the
work is just buying the book. No, no, no, that's just the
beginning. You got to crack that slicker
open and use it. So I have a specific workshop
that's all about cultivating self compassion.
You were going to get a book, we're going to crack it open or
we're going to do some exercisesto start you off.
And that is happening Tuesday, May 7th at 7:00 PM in the
(52:30):
Curious Heart Store. It's a store right on I think
it's Central Ave. in Westfield. Yes, OK, good.
Thank you. I have a workshop on May 30th
coming up on developing your intuition.
We're going to practice with each other and some weird things
you never thought you could do that you can do right here in
New Jersey. So you can go to my website and
(52:53):
if you're interested in May 30that 11:00, I'll be doing Develop
Your Intuition and I have a few spots left if you're interested.
Anybody's interested in that. We're coming up on the wrap up
of the show and I want to reallythank you for spending your time
with me today. I really appreciate you Rita,
and it was wonderful seeing you again.
(53:15):
And I am your host. You've been watching the Light
Walkers Path and Bold Brave TVI hope we both inspired you.
So contact Rita or me if you have any questions.
And the other thing I was going to tell you is that we have a
really interesting guest coming up in the future.
Next week. I have a woman named Camille
Ganier. She's done lots of interesting
(53:36):
podcasts and she's a healer as well.
So we have a lot of good guests coming up.
And you can always catch the thererun, the rerun in my archive
on Bold Brave TV. And please share and hopefully
maybe we'll get some call insurance next time.
I'd love to hear some people call in and ask questions.
(53:57):
That would be so awesome. So maybe next, next week,
somebody be brave enough to callus and, and ask a question.
So I want to thank you again, Rita.
It's been a lot of fun and thankyou so much for for visiting
with us today. Oh, such a pleasure.
Thank you once again, Rosemary. You're welcome, all right.
And I think we are. This has been the Light Walkers
(54:22):
path. Grow your spirit with Rosemary
TuneIn each week at 10 AM Eastern on the Bold Brave TV
Network and delve into your souls purpose through
enlightening discussions, wisdomand inspirational conversations.
Welcome to the Light Walker's Path.
Grow your spirit with Rosemary. In this show, Rosemary creates a
safe place to nurture your innerlight, ask questions, develop
new insights, and find your soul's purpose.
So please welcome the host of Light Walker's path.
Grow your spirit with Rosemary d'itrolio.
(00:41):
Good morning, I'm Rosemary, yourhost on Bold Brave TV and this
is the Light Walkers path streaming live on multiple
platforms. Join me Tuesday Eastern every
Tuesday to develop new insights and develop your soul's purpose.
The light Walker's path has enlightening conversations and
inspiration for you. Find us on YouTube, Spotify,
(01:03):
Apple podcast and many platforms.
Today is our our segment is called self compassion and my
guest is Rita de Noyers Garcia, owner of becoming awake, another
New Jersey resident and wonderful person.
She's the author of the Self Compassion Project and her
mission has been to teach with and skills to gain confidence
(01:25):
and calmness and happiness in the world.
She specializes in stressed out moms and comes from a solid
background of social work. So I'd like to welcome Rita to
the show today. Thank you SO.
Much. Laurie.
I'm so excited to see you today.How are you?
It's. Been a while.
(01:46):
I'm great. I'm doing great.
It's a beautiful morning here inNew Jersey.
It is, it is, it's, it's, it waswarm, very warm yesterday.
But you know, the 12 seasons of New Jersey, as we say.
So I'm excited that you're here.And I'd like to know a little
bit about like, I know you have a background in social work.
So my, my question is, when did you decide to make that shift
(02:09):
into what you're doing now for, for your business?
Like when did you decide I'm going to move from this venue
into what you do now? Yeah, that's a great question.
So what happened was, so I have three small children at the time
I was had three small children and I was actually doing health
and Wellness marketing. I do have that social work
(02:33):
background. When I was raising my kids,
doing social work was more difficult.
So I started a home business andmy home business was not doing
well. It was really imploding.
And I just remember that one dayI was got a phone call that
basically said, you know, this is not working out.
And I started to cry and I was sitting on the, you know, the
(02:55):
floor and all of those those voices in your head that you're
trying to subdue all the time came in.
So it was like you're a failure.You don't know what you're
doing. Wait, everything after six
months, you're a terrible mom. You know, all of the, there was
those voices came in and it was probably, it felt terrible, but
(03:20):
it was, I think it was one of the best things that ever
happened to me because it forcedme to take a look at what I was
doing and why I was doing it andto get real help.
And that's when I had a coach help me.
I hired a coach and one of the first things he said to me was
can you be kind and gentle with yourself?
(03:41):
Good advice. Good advice, I completely
resisted it. Yes.
I thought it was a bunch of malarkey.
My first reaction was like, what's the point of that?
I don't get it, I just should beworking harder, what are you
talking about? But because I also am kind of a
good student, I decided to give it a try.
(04:03):
And for a solid 30 seconds I wasn't beating myself up.
And I realized this is significant.
Pay attention to this. And I ended up making it a focus
of my life because it worked. And shortly after that I started
working with him. I worked with him for over 4
(04:24):
years. And shortly after working with
him maybe a few months, I started to feel significantly
better. And that's when I started to
reach out to my girlfriends, fellow moms and say, hey, I
don't know if you've noticed, but I've been feeling a lot
better. And I have some, you know, tool
something in my toolkit. Are you interested?
(04:45):
And three of those women said yes.
And that was my first group in my living room.
Isn't it funny how, you know, weas caregivers and people that
care for and guide other people,we often forget that compassion
for ourself. And I know too, like, you know,
we, we were raised like, just pull up your bootstraps, try
harder, do more, do more. And you're reminding women that
(05:08):
you can do the best when you take care of yourself first.
So I think that's that's really powerful advice for all of us,
really, not just moms, but like women in general.
I think we tend to overdo to do more, you know?
Oh, yeah. I mean, that's where I came
from. Now, I'm sure at some point in
my life someone had said, hey, slow your roll or maybe take a
(05:32):
breath, or you could be nicer toyourself.
But I couldn't take it in. I could not take it in until I
got to that place where everything was imploding and I
felt terrible. And I was desperate enough
because I had tried everything else to try something.
Yeah, You know, I, I think it, it is like for me, I always
(05:53):
thought I was being selfish to take care of myself so that in
my, it was so ingrained in my mind that you care for people
and you don't worry about how you're doing.
And I know I came up with the same thing.
I had gotten Epstein Barr in my 30s after going through divorce,
raising a baby and I was like wiped out.
And, and I, I, it really shook me to the point where, OK, I
(06:16):
really need to change how I'm treating myself because when I
don't, I'm going to fall apart and I'm raising this baby.
What am I going to do? So, you know, I would say I had
you then, you know, when I was going through it because you
would have been a great, a greathelper to me at that point in my
life. Yeah.
So that's that's wonderful. So you find most of you are
(06:38):
people that you work with are moms or women in general?
Yeah, so they're, most of them are moms.
Not all of them are moms, but usually they're spinning a lot
of plates and trying to do two or three major jobs in their
life. Raising their family is 1
starting a career, starting a business, helping a passion,
(07:00):
getting involved in the community, you know, so they're,
they're in a situation where they could be drained very
easily, especially if just one thing doesn't go the way they
think it's supposed to go. Absolutely.
Do you think a lot of it too is train retraining mindset?
Excuse me, like how you view a situation?
(07:22):
Because like you're saying, one thing goes wrong.
It's like the House of Cards, everything drops.
So do you find a lot of trainingwith like the mindset behind
those things? Mindset.
Is well, I think self compassionis a way to have a mindset about
yourself. It's self compassion in general
is a sympathetic consciousness. That's the, if you look it up in
(07:45):
the dictionary, it's a sympathetic consciousness that
acknowledges there's distress and then the desire to want to
alleviate that. So that's wanting to do that for
yourself. But a sympathetic consciousness
is a mindset. So how are you treating
yourself? What's your relationship to the
world? What's your relationship to
yourself? Are you adversarial?
Are you always trying to fight something or beat something or
(08:09):
race against something or, you know, crush something?
You know, we're like, we crushedit, you know, or are we in
collaboration with something? Are we, is the world helping us
or is it hurting us? Are we racing against time or
are we using owning time and using it to our advantage?
So those are all very different mindsets and depending on the
(08:33):
mindset, you can be completely drained or you can be full of
energy. I think mine was people pleasing
and I I think that's another thing that can kick you in the
tush if you're not careful. It's like you can be people
pleasing, but not to the point where you are not also looking
for your your sanity and grace within that parameter.
(08:58):
Yeah, I mean, once again, wanting to please people in
itself, there's nothing wrong with that.
And it can be a great gift. You know, there are a lot of
people who like to make other people feel good, and that's
wonderful. It's the overuse.
Absolutely, yes, that's the. Only tool in the toolkit?
Yeah, if all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a
nail. If that's your only thing that
(09:20):
you're doing all the time, then and that becomes a self
sabotaging force in your life for sure.
Yes. So when you have a new client,
do you give them like you know, when they meet with you, do you
give them a tool right away thatthey can leave you and practice?
I know you do. So I'm going to ask you to tell
(09:41):
about that. So I would say if you have a
call with me, right, and you never work with me again, I
would teach you just very something very simple to do.
And my freebie is does that too.My freebie is like, you know,
breathing in a certain way so that you get maximum amount of
oxygen and you can relax. I teach all about just taking a
(10:05):
pause in your life, you know, just taking up.
Most women are like, go, go, go,go, go.
You know, it's like America runson Dunkin.
Remember that. That's.
All about it's all speed going faster, faster.
Harder, yes, I find too, like inour area to Rita, people move
fast. You know, New York, New Jersey,
(10:27):
the Eastern Seaboard. We're always busy, busy, busy.
You know, absolutely. And I think there's another part
of the mindset, which is to be productive and to be doing
things and to be busy is virtuous.
That means you're worthy of something.
And it's like, yes. You're not what you do and and I
(10:51):
think that's another lesson I'velearned in life.
It's like I identified so strongly being a teacher.
I was a teacher for 32 years. So that was my identity, so to
speak. Or you're a mom or you're this
or you're that. All those labels that we call
ourselves isn't really us. That's what we do.
Those are our actions, but that's not really who we are in
our core. You know, that's something that
that it's taken me a while to get when I was younger.
(11:14):
You know, it's like I'm lovable just being me, you know?
That's existing. You're worthy because you exist
and you wouldn't exist if you weren't worthy.
That's a mindset. Now, it doesn't mean you don't
do anything with your life. It doesn't mean that you just
sit around all day and do nothing and go, hey, I'm worthy.
But out of that worthiness, either that sense that
(11:37):
foundation, you do amazing things because you're not trying
to compensate for not being worthy.
I think that was a big one for me was how how many of the
things that I was doing in my life were compensation for a
core belief I had of not being enough.
Yeah, I, I think that's really good advice because I know that
(11:58):
it's, it's tough when you have achild and you have this
responsibility in your hands. You know, that in itself is such
a overwhelming like, wow, I havethis human to raise and they're
all so different. So even if you do the same thing
with three different children, each person comes in with, you
know, their, their past life, their karma, their, their
actions, their, their path that they're going to take.
(12:21):
And it's so different for every child.
You know, it's a, it's a big responsibility.
Kids are a box of chocolates, asthey say you.
Never know what you get right. I know.
Oh my gosh. OK, so my question is like, what
would be your one best thing youwould tell a person that at this
(12:43):
point might be struggling being a parent?
What's the one thing you would say?
This is my sentence that I want you to put this on your
refrigerator. I would say this is the best
thing that could have happened to you.
OK, I agree. I agree.
Yeah. Sometimes when you get that rug
(13:05):
pulled out from under you, you realize that it you can find a
magic carpet, you know, you you can, you can find the the gift
in that in that situation. I know in my life, you know, I
went through a divorce when my child was a couple months old.
And for me the gift in it was learning who I was alone and
then redeveloping my independence from it.
(13:25):
And then going on. So you know, we we all find
something at the gift out of outof the manure, so to speak.
So that's a mindset, and that's a mindset.
If you can find the gift in every problem or situation or an
opportunity in there, you're golden.
And I agree, and that's kind of how I've lived my life is that
(13:46):
there's an opportunity with every life lesson.
And if you can draw that out, that Pearl of wisdom from it,
then you're able to move ahead. But if you can't, you get stuck
in that problem and without a solution.
And and that's where people get stuck.
We're coming up on a sponsored break.
So I'm Rosemary and you're watching the light walkers path
on Bull Brave TV and my my guestis Rita.
(14:08):
And we'll be right back with more interesting conversation
about self compassion and caring.
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(16:19):
Welcome back. This is the light Walker's path.
Grow your spirit with Rosemary on Bull Brave TV.
And my guest today is Rita Garcia, and she's a wonderful
person who owns Becoming Awake and is a wonderful guide for
women. And before we broke, our
conversation was about what we do and our self compassion.
And my question for you, Rita, is what are some of the best
(16:41):
things that you do to keep yourself centered and grounded
in times of stress? So one of the things that I do
first and foremost is I try to get a good night's sleep.
Oh yeah, that's a trick. You well get outside to walk
every day. Move my body, be with people
(17:02):
that I care about that I can laugh with.
There's a, there's a great book called Miracle Morning, I think
it's called, where it talks about it's for business owners
and it's talking about how to make your morning like
miraculous and full of energy. And usually it's like meditation
and this and that. And I thought, you know what
really helps me? I like to get out having
(17:24):
something to drink and be with people and laugh.
So every morning, pretty much every morning, I go to our spot,
I meet with a a bunch of people who have the time to do that and
we just laugh. We laugh at ourselves, we laugh
at the world, we laugh at whatever.
(17:46):
And I have to say it is a great way for me personally to start
my day. So I think everyone's going to
have their own unique formula and it can be out-of-the-box
like that, like it that was not written in in the book, go have
coffee with a bunch of guys and laugh.
It was very, we need that. As an extrovert I need that.
(18:07):
Big. People thing, especially as a
solopreneur. Yes, yes, I, you know, it's
funny because as a, as a child, I was very, very shy.
So I was considered introverted in, you know, people knew me,
let's say in high school, but I was really like a hidden
extrovert because I love being in front of a group and I love
presenting and I, you know, I, Ijust love talking and getting
(18:28):
the word out. But yet if you put me in a party
where I don't know people, I'm going to gravitate toward a few
people where I can have good conversation with rather than
flit around the room, you know, so my sister is a total
extrovert. She loves I was, you know, in
the whole room. She knows she can just, like
butterfly through the whole thing.
I'm like, no, just give me two or three people in a small group
and I'll be right. I'll be good right here, you
(18:50):
know. I'm in, So yeah, yeah, I'm that
kind of gal as well. Yeah.
I don't like to go to the stadium.
That's too much for me. I'd rather be in a smaller
clutch of people. Yes.
And I know that you have an interesting hobby outside of
your business that you love to do related to laughing.
(19:10):
Do you want to talk about that or not?
Sure. Yeah.
No, no, I told you never to bring that up.
No, what I do is I do stand up comedy as a hobby.
I started doing that in 2017. I took a class, believe it or
not, you can take a class in stand up comedy.
You can take a class in anythingthese days.
(19:30):
And I saw it at the adult schooland I was terrified of it, which
tells me I kind of needed to do it.
You know, it was one of those like, I just need to do this and
signed up for it and met some really lovely people that were
in all different, you know, walks of life that I never would
have hung out with otherwise. And we learned how to craft 5 to
(19:53):
10 minutes of jokes. And then graduation was to
perform that at a club. Wonderful.
Yes, and it was. Terrifying and yet exhilarating
at the same time, like a lot of these experiences.
And I just kept doing it, kept taking the class, kept doing it.
And now I have the privilege andhonor of teaching moms how to do
(20:18):
that as well. You know, women who want to have
that experience. And man, these women are
hilarious. They are hilarious.
There's so much funny stuff whenyou work with kids or when you
have kids that like when you talk about it there.
I know I was watching one of your podcasts that you did, you
know, one of your comedy things and you just had me rolling.
(20:38):
I'm like, it's so true. You know, the stuff that you
know you that happens, but you don't really talk about it.
Maybe with other brothers, you might you know, there's some
funny stuff kids do that just itcracks you up.
So that's a lot of information to to talk about in a comedy
show, right? Yeah, it just the I say the
jokes right themselves, right? Either my husband says something
(21:00):
funny or my kids say something funny, or I find myself in a,
you know, kind of a Lucille Ballsituation.
And it just makes life lighter. And you just kind of see the
ridiculousness of it all. And, and it seeps into the
coaching too, because there's somany times where we take
ourselves so seriously, right? And sometimes, you know, my
(21:24):
response to my client says, hey,welcome to planet Earth.
You know, they'll, they'll talk about something like, Can you
believe this happened? Or da, da, da.
And I'm like, yeah, that's beingan Earthling, you know?
And just. That can trigger a little
laughter or a little like looseness.
Wiggle room in the serious situation so that you can make a
(21:47):
better decision. And when I started the comedy,
it was really completely for selfish reasons.
I just wanted to have the experience.
I wanted to prove to myself I could do it because I'd done
other kinds of comedy like sketch comedy and prov.
And I thought, well, stand up. That's like another level.
(22:08):
But what happened after that first show is I did my set.
I left stage. I was kind of in that.
I can't believe I did that. And I'm standing in the back of
the club where there's like a little bar and I'm having my
little drink of white wine with the bartender who says, hey, you
did pretty good there. And I'm like, thanks.
(22:28):
And this woman comes up to me and she says, I have 3 kids too.
I never get out of the house. I came to see one of your
classmates. But I have to say, your jokes
made me laugh so hard I almost peed my pants.
I love that. That's a great.
I thought, well, I hope you werewearing a panty shield.
(22:48):
That's what I said to her. But but what I wanted to say to
her was thank you. I had no idea that I was having
an impact on anybody other than like, laughing, but a
therapeutic, cathartic impact. And it really drove home to me
that humor is so healing. It's so healing.
My father was hysterical. My father was a funny man.
(23:10):
He'd walk in a room. He had this, this presence about
him. He was a very loving, like a
teddy bear kind of personality and he was hysterical.
He, he went on a trip with his family members to Hawaii and on
the bus, he, he decided to take the mic.
He starts singing and telling jokes and the people on on the
this thing were some of them were Japanese.
They thought he was a celebrity from America.
(23:33):
So he's got somewhere in Japan. He's got his arm around all
these little Japanese people andthey're taking his picture and
they're going, oh, Sam, Sam, they love my father.
And everybody that talks about him laughs because he was so
funny and it just made people feel joyful.
And that's how I love, you know,I just have that even today,
after he's gone all these years,I think about stuff he says and
(23:54):
we we kid about it, you know, wehave like certain things my
father would say, you know, and it, it is very healing when you
when you have laughter in your life.
Yeah, yeah, absolutely it. Laughter is best medicine.
Yes, when you're talking about time, like telling comedy, a lot
of it is timing. And I was thinking of like in
(24:15):
life too, it's always divine timing.
And sometimes when we force willfor something to happen, it
doesn't happen because the timing's not right or the
situation is right for us. And I think that when people
realize that they set back and say, you know what, let me just
wait on this decision and and see what happens.
And I think that's really good advice for just stepping back
(24:38):
and waiting for timing, waiting for the timing, you know?
Absolutely, yeah. If if you've had kids, we've all
had that, that visual of your toddler trying to do something
that they can't do and they're just like getting frustrated and
they're trying to force it. And all you have to do is kind
of relax and just go. And sometimes you allow them to
(25:00):
have their machinations around that.
And sometimes you just show them.
You know, I think of myself often if I'm in that situation
where I'm like, I'm like a toddlers, like trying to force
something and getting having my little tantrum.
And if I could just take a step back and parent myself, which is
what self compassion is really, it's a re parenting of yourself
(25:23):
and just go, I'm sorry, you knowyou're suffering with that.
I'm so sorry. Why don't you just take a little
break and sit on my lap and thentry again later.
See how? It is, yeah.
I think, I think that's great advice.
And I, I often think about, you know, sometimes our frustrations
are voices you hear from your childhood and patterns that you
have to break and take a look atagain.
(25:46):
And some of it is like, you don't have to always get that
A+. Like to me, my mother was very,
very driven. She was a, a super student.
She was valedictorian. So me, I always had to get the
A+. Like, no, no matter what it is,
I have to get the A plus, I haveto do my best.
And sometimes it's like, sometimes it's OK if you don't
get the A+. You know, just like give
yourself a break. You're doing a lot.
(26:09):
And that's, that, That's a relearning.
That's a relearning. That is a relearning.
Like, yeah, it's not always going to be an A+.
And guess what? There's always going to be a
person who does better than you.There is, there always will be.
Yeah, yeah. Don't drive yourself crazy with
that one. Absolutely.
So I was going to ask you, what are some of you said some of
(26:31):
your your early challenges in life.
So like when you have someone that comes up with a lot of
challenges in their life, what would be the thing you would say
that their first step would be? So someone that's faced with a
lot of swirling family issues and junk around them.
I always say you're like the eyeof the storm.
You know, you're in the middle of all this storm going around
(26:53):
you. What is your first thing that
you would tell somebody to do before you started?
Like even guiding them actually.What would be your your one?
I think I would help them to seethat they are their own guide.
So it would be to I'd be like, OK, I get AI get a picture for
what's going on. Now are you you want to play a
(27:14):
game with me? Let's see, let's play with
something. And they go, all right,
whatever. And then I'll be like, I want
you to just close your eyes, take a couple breaths at your
own pace until you feel a littlemore centered.
You know, that may take some time because they may not be
used to doing that. Then I say, OK, now I want you
(27:34):
to put your hand on your heart and I want you to ask yourself a
question. And the, and the question is,
what do I really want right now?Very similar to.
Guy is. Yeah, it could be.
What do I really want? What's the next step?
Show me the way, whatever the question or the statement is,
(27:56):
that is appropriate. But it's a it's a calming and
then they get that experience ofthe calm within them that always
is there in the background. Under the noise under.
All the noise, where's the stillness and the silence?
And there's a million different ways to do that.
(28:16):
Yeah, I I too. When I, when I guide clients
too, a lot of them are stuck in their brain and the answer never
up here, this is the processor, it's always down in the heart
center. So I guide them to drop the
energy down into the heart center and ask your heart what
do you want, What will make you happy?
And that usually guides them thebest way.
We're coming up on a break pretty soon and next minute.
(28:39):
So we're going to finish our speak more of our conversation
after the break. This is the light Walker's pass
on Bold Brief TV. My guest is Rita.
And then when we come back, we're going to finish our or
talk more about our conversationon heart awareness and what our
heart knows that we don't know. OK, we'll be right back.
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caregivers is here on The CaringGeneration and Pamela D
wilson.com. Welcome back.
I'm Rosemary. This is the light Walker's path.
Grow your spirit with Rosemary. We're on Bold Brave TV streaming
live. And my guest today is Rita.
And when we went before break, we were talking about the wisdom
(31:14):
of the heart related to what your path is and what your best
choices are. And they're not in your head,
even though we think they are. So what?
What's your thoughts on on your heart wisdom, Rita?
Like when you work with clients,what what does their heart tell
you that their brain will not tell?
Oh, that's a good question. So the brain, you know, we're
(31:37):
thinking so many thoughts. What do they say, 67,000
thoughts a day or something? Everyone's got a different
number, but we're thinking a lotof thoughts and they're swimming
around. And I found that a lot of people
kind of ignore what's going on in their heart because they're
trying to solve all their problems with their head, right?
Because the ego is like, I got it.
I have total control, figure this out.
(31:59):
I'm going to cause more problemsthan I solve.
But you know, I'm important and the heart is just there.
You know, one of the exercises Ido, which I got from positive
intelligence was to feel, just feel your heartbeat with your
hand. And what I added to that
exercise was, can you realize that you don't even have to
(32:19):
think for your heart to beat. You don't have to tell it to
beat. It just beats on its own.
It's always there in the background, always taking care
of you. And when you really take that
in, you realize, wow, my heart is always there helping me out,
literally allowing me to walk around and be alive, right?
(32:40):
So maybe it's got something to share with me.
It, it, it, it's sort of like your, your heart speaking to
your brain going. I've got some, I've got some
things to add here. If you're interested, you could
take that in. Yes, it just.
Brings the attention to the heart and, and so you start to
appreciate the heart and then you start being able to focus on
(33:02):
it more. And when you're focused on your
heart, your whole Physiology changes.
Does it? Does it?
Absolutely. It raises your vibration and it
sends out patterns that are different.
And if you ever go to heart mathorg, they have some amazing
information that the heart patterns and goes out and out
and out and out. And it affects not only you, but
(33:23):
people in your energy field. And that's one of the techniques
I teach my healers too, is like link in with that heart energy
and think of like something you love and then get that feeling
in your whole body and then makea decision because you can't
make the decision. If you're up here chattering,
you know you're gonna you're gonna talk yourself in or out of
something, but you know that you, you should be listening to
(33:44):
your heart instead. And that got people over
thinkers. Absolutely.
And I I have recently been exposed and have access to some
tools that I use with my clientswhich are all around
subconscious deprogramming and what happens?
When you. Deprogram the subconscious and
you reprogram it. It automatically allows the
(34:07):
heart to have more influence because your body's relaxed.
You're not in your, your emergency reactiveness in your
head, you, you're able to go, OK, that's no longer an issue
for me. And then you drop down in your
heart and you can hear what thatwisdom is because your whole
body's involved. Then it's not just your head.
(34:28):
The dopamine is your whole body.The oxytocin can, can start
being pumped. You feel better.
And when you feel better and you're in that higher vibe, you
get more ideas. You just get more access to the
sky. You see the bigger picture.
Yes, and one of the things that that I do before I make a
decision is I go into heart center and then I, I imagine in
(34:50):
great detail the decision. And if I feel open and expansive
and like, oh, then I know it's ayes.
And if I feel shut down or anybody sensation in in the
stomach area, it's either a weight or a no.
And it's led me correctly every time.
Like even if I'm going to an event before I do it, I go into
heart center, I feel it. And then if I get yes, yes, yes,
(35:13):
then I do it. And if I don't, I wait and then
I'll ask again. If I still get a no, it's a no.
And and no matter how I try to say that's a great idea, if my
brain tells me my body doesn't agree, then I know it's not
right. You know, they have to think.
They have to be In Sync. Absolutely.
Like water going down a pipe, ifit's there's a clog, it doesn't
(35:34):
go any further. You got to unclog.
Yeah. Unclog the drain.
So I was going to ask if you hadany kind of things that you had
as a child. I was very intuitive.
So I'm going to ask you, you probably were as well.
But were there some things that filtered through when you were
younger that you came back to asan adult and said, you know
what, I had this thing, I'm going to develop it.
(35:55):
Or, you know some some kind of inner gift you had when you were
younger that you maybe realized or didn't realize.
So I would say early on, I realized I was sensitive to the
energy in a room, the mood in the room.
I would walk in and I would kindof notice if the if there was a
(36:16):
heaviness or or not. And and then I would look around
for clues. And sometimes it was like the
conversation automatically stopped when I walked in, right,
Or people would look at each other.
So I already have those sort of clues as well.
And then a lot of times people are like, oh, everything's fine.
And I knew things were not fine you.
Could feel it. I could feel it.
(36:37):
And so, you know, looking back at that, I knew how to walk into
a room and to protect myself, right?
So and I also realized, so it's great to be that sensitive
person, but that sensitivity is only as good as you learn how to
(36:58):
have great boundaries and right because otherwise you just, you
want to bubble wrap yourself allthe time boundaries.
Are I'm the same way Rita, So I understand completely.
Like I was a kid and if if someone argued in that room an
hour before, I'd walk in and I'dfeel it, you know, So I was also
very sensitive in groups. If someone was sad, I would
(37:19):
know, like, oh, so and so is sadand they're, they want to cry.
And it's helped me a great deal in my business.
But I have learned, you know, I have very strong boundaries with
clients and with with people, you know, I really do.
And and it's something that is avital thing for empathic people
because you are an empath if you're sensitive to energy,
right? Yeah.
Yeah. And.
(37:39):
Also, when I was a kid, if I went to a mall with my mom, I
would immediately feel anxious and depressed.
And I just thought, I hate shopping or I hate capitalism or
I hate consumption or I hate whatever it was.
But I think what I was really picking up on was this, this
(38:00):
Stew of all these different feelings people were feeling and
I was picking up on them and it was very, it was too much.
It was too much for me. I, I remember going to
Alexander's, which was this big department store when I was a
kid and you know, they always had the sales.
My mother would love to go. She'd bring my sister and I and,
you know, we'd be shopping for hours.
I would be like, so wiped out just walking in that place the
(38:21):
same way I could feel the energyand the people and the vibe.
It's like, Oh my gosh, I was wired.
So, you know, I know for me, like I have to come home and
clear myself and I have to sit in my garden or pull weeds or
something earthy to get myself back and cleared up, you know?
Absolutely, yeah. I've been known to lay down on
(38:42):
the grass and just earth to ground myself.
Yeah, absolutely. That that's.
Really vital. And I think, you know, we're not
always taught these skills. Like I, I know we're not taught
these skills. And I think what surprised me
was when you're younger, you think everybody has the same
experience you have 'cause you don't know.
And then you're like, you go through it and like, wow, they
(39:03):
don't feel what I feel or they're not getting the vibe
from this room like I am. And then you put it together
when you're older, like, oh, wow, like not everybody's
feeling the same thing. And you don't know, You take it
for granted, right? Absolutely, yeah.
So what's the quality you wish people had more of automatically
(39:29):
self compassion. OK, good.
Good answer. Good answer.
Yeah, Yeah. The world will be a kinder
place, right? You can't.
Well. Yeah, I think, well, I remember
having this kind of debate back and forth because one of my
friends says, no, they should bemore compassionate to each
other. And I said, well, the reason
they're not compassionate with each other is because they're
not compassionate with themselves.
(39:51):
That's right, they think, for. Themselves automatically.
It spills over, yeah. Yeah, You can't give what you
don't have, right? I, I think too, when you have
the sense of, like when I approach something, I try to
think from the viewpoint of a loving feeling before I decide.
Because if you don't have that first, you'll tend to make a
(40:12):
decision out of ego or, or something else, right.
So it's a good thing, I guess. It's that compassion, a very
Buddhist thing really. Yes.
OK, So the kind of people that you like to hang out with, you
said are funny people. Is there like it in a room?
Would you gravitate toward the people having conversation,
(40:33):
laughing, seriousness, like whatit what would be like?
I got to know that person kind of thing.
What would draw you to somebody?I, I enjoy both laughter and
sort of deep philosophical conversations.
I, you know, I've been, I'm not into astrology, but I'm a
Gemini. So they're like, of course you
(40:54):
do, Of course you want all of us.
But I think in general, if I walk into a room and I see
people laughing, I'm very curious about what they're
laughing about. But I would say not every, not
every person who laughs is my cup of tea.
I like people who are kind of open.
They are, they can have a a conversation without getting too
(41:15):
defensive. They're not self-righteous.
They're more kind of like, yeah,I can see that.
I can see that too, because that's the kind of person I am.
You know, I definitely have my opinions about things, but I
could be like, yeah, I can see that point of view and I can see
that too. I kind of side more here, but I
understand where these people are coming from and not putting
anyone in the oh, those people. I that's where I get a little
(41:39):
turned off when people are like,well, those people.
That's like, yes, yes, whatever.I agree.
And I, I think too, you know, opinions are, are OK,
everybody's got one. But The thing is, you have to be
open enough to have a conversation, even if it's not
what you believe. And I think there's a great lack
(41:59):
now with this kind of judgmentalmindset that, oh, my God, you
might hurt my feelings if you say this the wrong way.
I'm like, you know, gonna make mistakes, and that's life.
I think you just have to allow each other to express yourself
clearly without infringing on someone else's rights
intentionally. And I think that's it, you know?
(42:22):
Well, me disagreeing with someone doesn't mean that I'm
against them, or I'm a phobe or a hater or that I'm taking the
rights away at all. That's.
Right. It's just an opinion.
It's just your opinion. Absolutely.
Yeah. OK.
I would like to know if you wereto find the perfect client for
(42:44):
you, how do you describe a person that is your perfect
person or your perfect client that you'd say I got that.
My perfect client is someone that I've already worked with,
so I can describe her to a tee. She's a professional mom.
She's got kids. She cares about them so much and
(43:05):
she really wants to work on her career or her passion.
She's she will tell me she's afraid, but she's also game.
She's game too do whatever it isthat I asked her to do.
She is enthusiastic. She's ready.
She's ready to make the change. She's dedicated to the change,
(43:27):
willing to do. She just willing to do whatever
it takes and is open to be coached, is open to say, hey,
have you thought of this? Have you tried that?
Did you? What do you really want?
Do you really want that, you know, someone who's been around
the self help section of the bookstore you know, and but
(43:51):
feels kind of stuck, knows that there's more and doesn't know
how to access it and is open to me helping her with that?
Yes, yes, I love your your workbook to yourself Compassion
Workbook. I know you had given me a copy
years ago when I met you. And after the break, I want you
to just highlight that book and how they can reach you as well.
(44:11):
We're coming up on a sponsor break.
This is the light worker's path.Grow your spirit with Rosemary
and Bull Brave TV. My guest is Rita, and we'll be
back shortly for the last segment of our show.
Thank you. Did you know that your beliefs
create your entire reality? But it's the subconscious
beliefs that do most of the creating.
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(45:56):
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(46:18):
Generation and Pamela D wilson.com.
Welcome back. This is the light Walker's path.
Grow your spirit with Rosemary. My guest is Rita and before the
break I asked her about herself.Compassion Workbook, which is a
wonderful read. I I had an opportunity to have
(46:40):
to have a copy of it and I read through it, passed it along to
someone who I thought they needed it after me.
And Reed, I want you to tell about your workbook.
So it's actually right, right back there, you can kind of see
it a little bit. It's a, it's a workbook that I
created based on what I'd learned and what I discover in
(47:01):
my own experimentation with cultivating my own sense of self
compassion. And it's not a long workbook.
It's like 44 pages. It's divided into 3 sections,
Self compassion, obviously acceptance, huge part of the
whole game and then integration.How do you bring it into your
life? How do you leave your everyday?
(47:25):
And it's really a lot of exercise, explanation and lots
of examples for my own life and the lives of my clients and just
exercises, a lot of journaling prompts really.
So you can kind of take it into your bed, under your blanket
with a cup of tea and you can just start looking at the
(47:45):
questions and feeling into it and just start writing.
And for me, writing things down gets it out of your head where
everything is swimming and it's puts it back on paper so that
you can see it objectively. And you get a much clearer
picture of what you're really thinking, 'cause it's not
constantly changing. It's not like boop, boop, boop,
(48:06):
boop, boop, boop, boop. It's just like, oh, this is what
I've been thinking. Wow.
Yeah, yeah, it's, that's the mind dump.
I always tell people that can't sleep at night, do the mind
dump, get everything on paper and then clear it out of the
attic, you know, and then put itaside.
You don't need to think about it2 in the morning.
It's there on paper if you want to look at it in the morning,
you know. Yeah.
(48:27):
And there are different ways to do that.
You can. You can write it down, you can
draw it. Some people are much more into
drawing than writing. Some people need to move it out
of their body. Some people need to vocalize it
so you can do it in different ways.
There's not just one way to kindof dump that stuff that's
(48:47):
bothering you so much, but then the other piece is really about
just being your own best friend,being your own BFF.
Instead of beating yourself up as a strategy, try befriending
yourself. Because I promise you it's going
to work out better. I promise you it's better.
I, you know, I also say too, listen to how what you talk,
(49:09):
talk to yourself and say to yourself when you make a mistake
or when you're unhappy. Because if you're beating
yourself up or calling yourself names, that's a big clue to, you
know, not treating yourself withkindness, you know, and that's,
that's a pattern that has to be broken.
Absolutely. You can be the the worst
roommate you've ever had in yourbrain.
(49:30):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. So if they want to reach you,
what is your website address, Rita?
Itsbecomingawake.com OK, one word becoming awake and the book
is on there in various forms. There's APDF you can download.
There's I think a physical book is going to lead you to my
(49:53):
Amazon link. It's just easier for me to have
Amazon do that or Goodreads. And also in Barnes and Noble and
Goodreads. So you can get in different
forms. And then of course on Amazon you
can get Kindle. So there's you can get in
various forms, various prices. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, I have a lot of my books I did on on Amazon.
(50:16):
I had, I just did a workbook inspired a book of the heart,
inspired by angels, a book of the heart.
It's a workbook and I'm working on my second one.
Should be hitting Amazon probably within the next two
weeks. But you know, I, I just, yeah, I
have 8 of them up right now. I'm gonna be also at a book
event in New Jersey at the Burkhola Winery this weekend
coming up. So that's a good, that's a real
fun one to do. So what would be your final,
(50:39):
like your best advice that you want people to take away from
what you do and who you are? What would be your your best
advice? My best advice is to notice
where you already are. Good to yourself.
In other words, do you take a pause?
(50:59):
Do you breathe? Do you sigh?
Do you take a walk and then build from there?
Because one of the biggest things that we do to ourselves,
Rosemary, and you know this, I'msure you tell us that we think
we can't do it or we've never made progress.
And it's so much easier to find where you are doing it even a
little way in the build from that place than to build from a
(51:21):
from a place of well, I can't doit and this is going to be hard.
Yeah, they say if you can't, you'll always be right.
You know, if you say you can or you can't, you're always right
because you'll act to that belief, right?
That's right. OK, let me see now if there's
anything else I wanted to ask you.
So do you have any workshops or classes coming up that you want
(51:46):
your clients to know about or people to know about?
Yes, if you're in New Jersey, I have a workshop, Woo Hoo in
Westfield, NJ and it's all aboutthe Self Compassion Project
workbook where literally you're going to get a copy of the book
and we're going to do about 1/3 of it.
It's it's people buy books all the time and they never crack
(52:09):
them open. They go, they think that the
work is just buying the book. No, no, no, that's just the
beginning. You got to crack that slicker
open and use it. So I have a specific workshop
that's all about cultivating self compassion.
You were going to get a book, we're going to crack it open or
we're going to do some exercisesto start you off.
And that is happening Tuesday, May 7th at 7:00 PM in the
(52:30):
Curious Heart Store. It's a store right on I think
it's Central Ave. in Westfield. Yes, OK, good.
Thank you. I have a workshop on May 30th
coming up on developing your intuition.
We're going to practice with each other and some weird things
you never thought you could do that you can do right here in
New Jersey. So you can go to my website and
(52:53):
if you're interested in May 30that 11:00, I'll be doing Develop
Your Intuition and I have a few spots left if you're interested.
Anybody's interested in that. We're coming up on the wrap up
of the show and I want to reallythank you for spending your time
with me today. I really appreciate you Rita,
and it was wonderful seeing you again.
(53:15):
And I am your host. You've been watching the Light
Walkers Path and Bold Brave TVI hope we both inspired you.
So contact Rita or me if you have any questions.
And the other thing I was going to tell you is that we have a
really interesting guest coming up in the future.
Next week. I have a woman named Camille
Ganier. She's done lots of interesting
(53:36):
podcasts and she's a healer as well.
So we have a lot of good guests coming up.
And you can always catch the thererun, the rerun in my archive
on Bold Brave TV. And please share and hopefully
maybe we'll get some call insurance next time.
I'd love to hear some people call in and ask questions.
(53:57):
That would be so awesome. So maybe next, next week,
somebody be brave enough to callus and, and ask a question.
So I want to thank you again, Rita.
It's been a lot of fun and thankyou so much for for visiting
with us today. Oh, such a pleasure.
Thank you once again, Rosemary. You're welcome, all right.
And I think we are. This has been the Light Walkers
(54:22):
path. Grow your spirit with Rosemary
TuneIn each week at 10 AM Eastern on the Bold Brave TV
Network and delve into your souls purpose through
enlightening discussions, wisdomand inspirational conversations.
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