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May 22, 2025 • 28 mins
Chronicles the exploits of a charismatic con artist, offering a glimpse into his schemes and the moral ambiguities of his adventures. The narratives blend wit with suspense.
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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Presenting Orson Wells as the Third Man, The lives.

Speaker 2 (00:35):
Of Harry Lyons the fabulous stories of the immortal character
originally created in the motion picture The Third Man with
Zipper music by Anton Terra.

Speaker 3 (00:54):
At various times, in various countries, I've been called many things,
most of which I'd rather not repeat here. But strangely enough,
the one thing I've never been called is the one
thing I am a businessman, did somebody last It gives
you a little less than economic All business pays in
direct proportions of the amount of risk involved, the safest investment,

(01:16):
therefore paying the lowest returns. Now, my returns, they're likely
to be high because I'm willing to take risks outside
the law. That's where high finance starts getting really high, high,
wide and handsome. Following little anecdote illustrates my point. It's
called five thousand pengos and a kiss. What you may

(01:36):
ask is a pengo. It is not a small black
and white bird. A pengo is what they use for
money and Hungary a kiss is the same thing all
over the world.

Speaker 1 (02:37):
And now Orson Wells as Harry Lyons a third Man
in five thousand pingos, and a kid.

Speaker 3 (02:51):
In Hungary, various political events after the war brought about
new and very strict laws concerning getting out of the country.
But people have always wanted to get out of countries,
even charming countries like Hungary used to be, and when
they came, they'll pay well for certain risky arrangements being
made for them. So inevitably I found myself in buddhioth Best,

(03:12):
where I soon made certain necessary contexts, and then, like
any good business man, went looking for customers, which, as
in any business, are often found in the nicest places.
That's why one evening not long ago, I happened to
be at the exclusive Club Brere and do the thing.
Very lovely place, Crubrey are, but not nearly so lovely

(03:36):
as a young lady. I'd soon know. Just making a
way at.

Speaker 4 (03:39):
My table, part Lisa, but I don't have a line.

Speaker 3 (03:43):
I big your partner. I don't believe what I cringe you.

Speaker 4 (03:46):
No, they're not. My name is Julinet Banner.

Speaker 3 (03:49):
Of course, stupid of me not to recognize the very
same is equally lovely. Helena Barnast, thank you for the.

Speaker 4 (03:55):
Compliments, but you have no balance of my Christians.

Speaker 3 (03:58):
You will have a lyme at the risk of being
tried to remind you that the road by any other
name would fellas swee. Won't you sit down? All right?

Speaker 5 (04:06):
Thank you, mister Lime.

Speaker 4 (04:07):
I must get out of the country and to understand
that you could, my.

Speaker 3 (04:11):
Dear is Bana. Certainly I need to tell you that
you can't believe everything you hear, and you certainly can't
repeat it in public places.

Speaker 4 (04:16):
Anyway, I didn't realize upset, I see.

Speaker 3 (04:21):
That is my guess. You've been working too hard. No,
no actresses are like that to show much go on,
never a thought of rest and relaxations, but eventually it
tells on the nerves.

Speaker 4 (04:30):
No, this is not a matter of work.

Speaker 3 (04:32):
It's that's been a long time since you've had a
single day away from your work in It's alive.

Speaker 4 (04:37):
Please, I have something much more important to the.

Speaker 3 (04:40):
Scuts, possibly be more important than one word than vana.
I think you need nothing so much as a quiet
stroll in the park. That's a visit to the zoological gardens.

Speaker 4 (04:51):
Of the world for you too.

Speaker 3 (04:52):
In fact, i'd be delighted to offer my services at
your extource tomorrow afternoon and show you the monkey how.

Speaker 4 (04:58):
Mister Lime, really, I'm not on the more to look
at me and miss Banner.

Speaker 3 (05:03):
That's nothing would be more important to you right now
than a visit is a monkey house tomorrow afternoon.

Speaker 5 (05:08):
About the monkey.

Speaker 3 (05:09):
House, Miss Bana, I want to talk tomorrow.

Speaker 6 (05:13):
That's nice.

Speaker 3 (05:17):
I'm going to the following afternoon. I arrived at the
monkey house added with the arms with a bag of peanuts.
Have been informed by experts as monkeys as they founder
of peanuts looking for someone. Miss Bonner.

Speaker 4 (05:29):
Oh, I don't there you are? I hope I'm not playing.

Speaker 3 (05:32):
That's all I described myself. Okay, have for some peanuts?

Speaker 4 (05:34):
No, thank you, I don't like them. We couldn't we
talk some place quick?

Speaker 3 (05:38):
I guess, Miss Banner, the conversations such as a that
are held with naught.

Speaker 4 (05:43):
Oh yes, I suppose you're right.

Speaker 3 (05:45):
That's pretty trick, he isn't it? What is the way
that monkey caught the peanut?

Speaker 5 (05:49):
Can I have your attention?

Speaker 3 (05:51):
I won't take a long fanny my undersided attention.

Speaker 4 (05:54):
I must be the country as soon as possible. And
I was told you could arrange it for met me
try to get a path, but many times, but they've
always refused on no ground. My applications simply go on
answered for that reason, I don't know. They simply ignore
my request no reason. Very well, I tell you the story.

(06:15):
I've been married for a number of years. My husband
is an Oscar. He's been there ever since the end
of the war.

Speaker 3 (06:22):
Wow, that little monkey all along in that cage over there.

Speaker 4 (06:25):
My husband, he's the reason for my being refused to passport.
You see, he's well an enemy of the cunning regime
that would like nothing better than to get him back here.
And I am being held as in Euros. We've been
apart for a long time now, and the last world
I received from my husband the bit he is planning
to attempt to visit. But if you should even try
to enter this country, I hate to think of the

(06:47):
faith that awaits him.

Speaker 3 (06:48):
I find for monkeys.

Speaker 4 (06:51):
You understand, I understand. But now you know my story.
I must get your oscar before my husband does something. Wesh,
I understand. Who can make the necessary arrangements for me?
So there are really only two questions I have to ask,
where did you do it? And how much will it cost?

Speaker 3 (07:09):
You know something? Go very lovely, my.

Speaker 4 (07:12):
Dear, Will you please pay attention?

Speaker 3 (07:15):
But I am paying attention. My price to anyone else
will be ten thousand gold tangos. For someone as charming
as yourself. My price is five thousand tangles.

Speaker 4 (07:26):
And the kiss five thousands.

Speaker 3 (07:29):
But the gate of one of these cages, these monkeys,
I want to say, would stop to quibble about peanuts
five thousand gold tangos Dana at the shot Blox tomorrow
at night. But unless they're running along, if you'd like
to stay awhile and see the monkeys and I have
these peanuts. Personally, I can't stand monkeys, such greedy little fellows.

(08:12):
The following evening, at midnight, as at the shot Cuts
bad night, fine drizzled filled the air and shown on
the cobblestones. I watched the square from the dark doorway,
and just as the clock had struck twelve, I heard
in the distance, what sayce? It was Helena Byner. I
stepped out and said, good evening.

Speaker 4 (08:33):
Oh you started me. I was afraid you wouldn't be here.
I I brought the money here, kiss all in gold hands.

Speaker 3 (08:40):
That what I plased to stand around handing of a
large sum of money. Put the money in the right
hand pocket to get closed.

Speaker 4 (08:47):
Oh yes, sorry, start walking with me.

Speaker 3 (08:52):
That's I think attracts a police officer as soon as
a couple arguing at this time of night a lonesome
street to.

Speaker 5 (08:59):
Keep its voice, very will I got the money?

Speaker 4 (09:03):
What happens now?

Speaker 3 (09:04):
There's no blueprints for these things? And take each step?

Speaker 1 (09:07):
Is it?

Speaker 3 (09:08):
Arise? Tell me? Have you ever heard of the little
village of uh my Gallowa?

Speaker 5 (09:14):
Yes?

Speaker 4 (09:14):
I have, but I've never been there.

Speaker 3 (09:17):
Every time they tell me that they fine country club
located nearby.

Speaker 4 (09:20):
Yes, I've heard of it.

Speaker 3 (09:21):
Do you think you could arrange an appearance then? Now? Yes?
But my Java's are very convenient. Little village. Any geography
book will show you it's located course near the border.

Speaker 4 (09:31):
Oh, I see, But I could never go there without
the work from it. You know, I can't leave without permission.

Speaker 3 (09:37):
The sense of a thing would be to apply for
a work from wind. It would never unless I suggest
to apply for a work from It's all right now again,
my apologies. I'm afraid I'll just leave you.

Speaker 4 (09:49):
But how can I get you?

Speaker 3 (09:51):
Don't I'll get in touch with you.

Speaker 4 (09:53):
Good night, you'retin but wait forgotten the money? I ad right,
that's strange, it's gone. I didn't this pocket and now
it disappears.

Speaker 3 (10:04):
Nor Mysa not disappeared just in good hints now good night.
And because a business such as mine can lead one
in strange paths, my path the next morning led me

(10:27):
to the Budapest Police Department, or more specifically, to the
office of a certain police lieutenants who's had it works
at his day. Good morning, lieutenants, I've got a time
I paid you a visit again.

Speaker 2 (10:41):
I'd ask you to be brief that brings you.

Speaker 3 (10:43):
You're a simple matter of retenant, simple matter. I'd like
you to arrange a work permit for a lady of
my acquaint I'll see here.

Speaker 2 (10:51):
Lies, Are you going too far asking favors for your girlfriends?
As you well know, I'm not at all satisfied with
the way.

Speaker 3 (10:57):
Our arrangement has been working out.

Speaker 2 (10:59):
But it's six months now since you delivered anyone consequent
to me, and I'm beginning to wonder about this whole arrangement.

Speaker 3 (11:05):
The lady's name happens to be Helen Banner.

Speaker 5 (11:08):
Hell Helen Barna. Helen Bardner's trying to leave the country.

Speaker 3 (11:14):
Yes, I thought i'd put it rather clearly lime. Are
you sure about this?

Speaker 5 (11:18):
I've already been played in four wonderful, lie, wonderful, Just
what I need, inspector.

Speaker 3 (11:24):
It's making my life miserable. This should keep him quiet
for a while. In bad I've heard she'd be pleased.
When does she want to cross the border. Why I
have made any arrangements. I assumed it was necessary. Always,
certainly that trouble in these cases. Yes, that's true.

Speaker 2 (11:40):
But yet this one is different.

Speaker 5 (11:42):
I want helen banner court in the act of trying
to cross the border.

Speaker 3 (11:46):
An example must be made. You mean you want me
to go through with this through the last details. This
is no part of our agreement at all. I don't
mind doing what I must in order to stay in business,
but I don't rubbish leading of the romer, the guillotine,
holding ahead while a knife fall.

Speaker 7 (12:02):
Oh, come a line, you're being dramatic.

Speaker 2 (12:05):
You've an arrangement just to continue, I must have a
major public arrest.

Speaker 3 (12:09):
You have none. I don't like it.

Speaker 2 (12:10):
I didn't ask you what you like. I've been arranged
so that you will be absolutely safe. You can leave
together as the border just before my man clothing on her.

Speaker 3 (12:19):
But that's the way it must be. Okay, okay, you
can make your arrest of the boarder and good I enjoyed.
You'd be reasonable about this. Now when does you want
to go? And nothing's that arrange? I told her to
apply for a work cenner to appear at the country
frothers Gara good, Miss Darner will be in mac Garava
by tomorrow night or some wealth returns in just a moment,

(13:45):
and now porson welles as the third man continues with
five thousand.

Speaker 7 (13:50):
Pingos and a kiss.

Speaker 3 (14:00):
The next night, I drove to my gals. I was
to see her in Havana. Maybe it would have been
simpler it was done by railway, but experience has taught
me that the car which your case is valuable. So
I arrived at the country club after nine o'clock. I
an't know. It was just finishing a number, but she
saw me as soon as I came into the room
and she hurried over to me.

Speaker 4 (14:21):
I gled, it's come. I was afraid it wouldn't be tonight.

Speaker 3 (14:23):
Yes, I hadn't come tonight, it wouldn't coming home. I
don't do the arrangements had been made. We leave immediately tonight.

Speaker 6 (14:29):
Now looks be.

Speaker 3 (14:30):
Careful out my car outside. We drive to the first
barrier and they the border, the bob wire. How would
you get the arrangements have been made. There's a certain
place the wires and cot can't take you through border
like a short distance beyond at the beginning of the forest.

Speaker 4 (14:42):
I see that it was.

Speaker 3 (14:43):
I get my court and be keep gone slowly? Must
news I.

Speaker 4 (14:46):
Had quite calm?

Speaker 3 (14:48):
Who really had months? Calm? Enough if we walked out
that door of the club management and had the entire
police department Donalda's before we got a hundred feet.

Speaker 4 (14:55):
Oh that's right, but how can I leave?

Speaker 3 (14:57):
You'll leave me now directly of the ladies, when you're
alone in there. Time out through the back window. Yes,
I I hate to sell another dramatical girls. The only way.
By the time you do that, I'll be waiting behind
the building.

Speaker 6 (15:09):
You might uh see you.

Speaker 3 (15:12):
I want you to go. She was obviously afraid, but
still I had courage. I wait until she'd crossed the
room and gone out the corridor that led to the
lady's room. Then I turned and started from the front door.
So I haven't gone very far.

Speaker 6 (15:27):
But nice, nice.

Speaker 3 (15:31):
Slime. I must see you, not to hear you're fool outside. Well,
I can't see us quick, Yes, we can talk here. Now,
what happened?

Speaker 5 (15:46):
Did you bother to get her story before you went in?

Speaker 3 (15:48):
Of course?

Speaker 5 (15:49):
Yes, that had a few little matters you mess, my course,
like the fact that before she approached you she'd been
dickating for some time. It's heaven. Yes, she came to
you only when he's plice now you know, and sell
the land. She had made it easy with you. He
wanted his revenge. He directly inspect her and told him everything.

Speaker 3 (16:03):
Why did you hear this? Oh from the inspector where
else he's in town.

Speaker 5 (16:06):
He wants to arrest me for Saturn.

Speaker 3 (16:08):
There's no problem you were planning and arrest anyone.

Speaker 5 (16:10):
A problem for me, but then maybe for you.

Speaker 3 (16:12):
The inspected wants a doublet. He mean double.

Speaker 5 (16:14):
He will settle for nothing nest than the girl.

Speaker 3 (16:16):
And you see that does complicate me as well. Well, well,
I'm must go back to go to exemple. Not made
you don't don't watch, don't.

Speaker 5 (16:25):
Leave me in this fix. If no attempt've made tonight,
the inspect that we'll know just where the weak link is.
And then we're both in the super and.

Speaker 3 (16:31):
There's only one thing we can do. The girl temps
across the border don't think it through the barbee and
no further I've turned to actually go on along. It's
up to you to see that the rest is made
in the forest. See if you can't for border.

Speaker 5 (16:40):
It so that the inspector knows your in him.

Speaker 3 (16:42):
He wants you even more than the death, dear lieutenant.
He may want me. What he's going to have to
do without me, You'll have to settle to the girl
who cares what he knows. This is the only way
for all I learned a banner. Still they catch for
an ambitious man. I have to escape in the darkness.
Who's to blame? Your neck is safe? Inspect that this
little triumph and I well, if somebody once said who
runs away with the right? Another day? I don't like it.

(17:05):
I didn't say you would like it, but you'll have
to accept it. And I'll turn in if you'll excuse
me to go to the lady's room. It is the
unforeseen contingencies that are the most tricky. I could have

(17:27):
known that there was distraught young lady anxious to leave
the country. At first approached my rivals, but in revenge
they would have gone to our mutual animy. The police, however,
hesitation in my line of working be fatal. I proceeded
as if nothing had happened in Mexico. At the rail
of the country from we were soon in my car
driving down a back road until we came to the
barbed while the last barrier before the border. Yes, now

(17:58):
follow me, be careful, all right, I keep going almost,
They're just a few feed more. Help me. God's forgot
this not through. Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 2 (18:19):
God.

Speaker 3 (18:19):
The whats is over the border, like one hundred meters
across that fields inside that for us. If that's somebody,
we'll meet again. But now I'll say goodbye, goodbye.

Speaker 4 (18:28):
But enough of the border here.

Speaker 3 (18:29):
You have no problem and no further up to goes ahead, but.

Speaker 4 (18:31):
You can't go now you agree to take me across
the border.

Speaker 3 (18:34):
There's no time for technicalities. Honey, you are substantially at
the border, and I must turn back. It will take
me some time to get through the wire again the
border patrol. I am not on the very best of turns.

Speaker 4 (18:44):
You're agreed to take me to the border.

Speaker 3 (18:46):
I'm not going to. I'm afraid. I must be firm.

Speaker 4 (18:48):
I'm afraid will you will be farmers? Will myself? I'm
just gone.

Speaker 5 (18:53):
I mean business.

Speaker 3 (18:54):
That's something I forgot to tell you the patrol I spoke.
I was waiting for you direct say head, what m
you approached? Damn I before you came to me, didn't you?
He said, Sam as a very greedy man. He was
very reluctant to lose your account to me. He went
directly to the inspector of police.

Speaker 4 (19:10):
I don't believe it.

Speaker 3 (19:11):
How else would I know?

Speaker 2 (19:12):
What?

Speaker 4 (19:13):
Might you tell me? I could kill?

Speaker 3 (19:15):
We could? But a gun shouts? Bring the patrol out
of the buck that's here now no place? Give me
that gun. No h I get up, I said, get up.

Speaker 5 (19:36):
It was a.

Speaker 3 (19:38):
Happens. This was not a trick. I told you the
truth because I had to. I'm turning back sided to
been so rough to something else me to do. Let's
get the bottle that you can ask exactly head of
the wet checks the vakia is in that direction or
here's your choice. Guess the patrol to be in that
trumpet tree somewhere over there. Now it's binding my regrets

(19:59):
that I associated. And such a one doesn't know that
I wait, come to think, don't need me A lot
of such one persand other at all. I just remembered
I haven't been paid in full. What my price for
this service was five thousand gold Pengo and the kiss angle.
You're trying not to give me a and have yet
to receive the rest of it. The kiss you can grace.

(20:23):
A bargain is a bargains sparment.

Speaker 6 (20:25):
Oh, the patrol, the patrol, and that's fine. No, no, no, no, no,
to wait for that bumblebo. I don't know where we
are at perfectly still.

Speaker 3 (20:39):
I have your gun and I'll hide behind that bolt
that you cry out for me to attract their attention.
When their attention is on you, I'll come out.

Speaker 4 (20:47):
And cover them to lie.

Speaker 3 (20:48):
I have no time for lies. Now they want me
even what they do. You do what I say? Now?
Our lines depend on it.

Speaker 5 (20:55):
Right.

Speaker 4 (20:56):
But if this is another trick at line, so help me.

Speaker 5 (20:59):
I see that it's not.

Speaker 4 (21:00):
Stay, it's some trick.

Speaker 3 (21:03):
I'm the same team now we like it or not.
It's when as I get behind that boulder, cry out
to me use my face, all right, all right, Harry Lime,
Harry lin I come back, the.

Speaker 8 (21:20):
Man, come back, come back.

Speaker 3 (21:24):
Put your hands in it's a woman, all right.

Speaker 2 (21:30):
Well, well, well, the samers and lovely under a battle man? This?

Speaker 3 (21:35):
Did I expect to meet you in these circumstances? Where
Honday Line?

Speaker 4 (21:39):
I don't know, I don't know.

Speaker 3 (21:41):
Must know? I heard you call him? I can you?

Speaker 4 (21:43):
I don't know?

Speaker 3 (21:44):
You woman quickly that yes, follow the wire in the
other action, he tund of grandpa battle man. Where is it?
I don't know? Must know? And if you know what's
good for you, you're telling me where Harry Line is.
Did you call the inspector? Don't turn around, inspector. Yes,
this is a gun you feel in your back? One more, Lieutenant,
and you have a dead inspector on your hands, and
your men to throw their guns on the ground. Him this,

(22:07):
I worry about my neck, you worry about yours. I
want those guns on the ground quick a desperate man. Inspector. Yes, good,
you head to the Austrian border quickly for the other
man return.

Speaker 4 (22:21):
Can't you better come with you right now?

Speaker 3 (22:23):
The Austrian police think no more highly of me these days,
and there's the inspector right now.

Speaker 4 (22:27):
But I hate to leave you life this.

Speaker 3 (22:28):
I appreciate your consideration and loyalty. There's no time for etiquette.
Every moment counts. Goodbye, Good luck.

Speaker 4 (22:34):
Well, all right, I'll go, but here's the rest of
my bag and the kiss. I promise, thank you and goodbye.

Speaker 3 (22:44):
You're welcome Lime. You'll regret this, Inspector. I will regret
it in Czechoslovakia. In the meantime, I have an attractive
business deal for you. On the other side of your
barbed wire, I unfortunately will leave an expensive automobile which
I'm quite fun would you be interested in buying? How
did you out of you at all? I'll take whatever
you happen to have on you and return.

Speaker 2 (23:04):
To the car.

Speaker 3 (23:05):
Now for the last time, factor I said, I'll take
whatever cash you have on you. My liquid assets are
all in Budapest. Not need. Whatever money I can obtain
gives me. Please, I absolutely best do as he says, Inspector.
All right, life here, you are not very much tennant
to have shoot. Care to contribute to the inspectors purchase
any contribution will be greatful to receive quickly. Here you

(23:28):
are still not very much. But then isn't exactly a
seller's market? Is? It's because yours inspector, and now we'll
both of you. Please do me the favor of giving
me your trouser belt. What you hurt me correctly, your
trouser belts. Take them off.

Speaker 5 (23:41):
Please.

Speaker 3 (23:42):
When you return to Budapest and ransack my quarters, you will,
I'm sorry to say, find enough money of mine to
buy yourself in the entire police force new belts and
suspenders for the rest of your lives. Now I'm afraid
I must remind you that I'm holding a gun. Know
trousers belts, gentlemen, and make it quick. Kind of madness, Lietendant,
Really is it necessary to explained? You're a Scholar's got

(24:04):
to do it well, man. In all the famous chases
in history, no policeman has ever been known to catch
a fugitive and hold up his bands at the same time.
Thanks the Siphon.

Speaker 7 (24:16):
Now Harry Lyon returns in just the moment, And now

(25:33):
Harry Lyon.

Speaker 3 (25:39):
I got to Czechoslovakia with nothing worse than a slight
attack of poison either. Helena Bada made it all right too,
And of course you know that she left Prague before
the Communists took over, and the rest is history. I
don't mean about the Communists, I mean Helen. She made
her first big hit in Paris and came to London.
I saw her last in the Persian room with the
Plaza in New York. She was killing it. I caught

(26:00):
her out, and she came out of a fifth ncle,
and I thought I noticed a little flicker of recognition.
She told the audience she'd only sing one more song,
but she was dedicating it to an old friend whom
she'd known in dangerous times on the other side of
the Atlantic. I figured I was the old friend. You
can imagine how grateful I was when Helen broke into
the opening strains of I'll be Glad when You're dead,

(26:21):
You rascal. You just proves you can never trust. A woman.

Speaker 8 (27:00):
Still sat at Brista Priceville pristin think some extent of

(28:04):
the d of the schooling.

Speaker 3 (28:14):
Of a

Speaker 8 (28:17):
Cotton as at a joint
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