A Settler in Cloisterham

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Chapter eighteen of the Mystery of Edwin Drude. This is
a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain.
For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox dot org.
Recording by Allan Chant The Mystery of Edwin Drood, the

(00:22):
Unfinished novel by Charles Dickens, Chapter eighteen. A settler in Cloisterum.
At about this time a stranger appeared in Cloister him
a white haired personage with black eyebrows, being buttoned up
in a tightish blue settu, with a buff waistcoat and

(00:45):
gray trousers. He had something of a military air. But
he announced himself at the Crozier, the Orthodox hotel, where
he put up with a portmanteau, as an idle dog
who lived upon his means, And he farther announced that
he had a mind to take a lodging in the
picturesque Old City for a month or two, with a

(01:07):
view to settling down there altogether. Both announcements were made
in the coffee room of the Crozier, to all whom
it might or might not concern by the stranger as
he stood with his back to the empty fireplace, waiting
for his fried sole veal cutlet and pint of sherry,
and the waiter business being chronically slack at the crozier

(01:31):
represented all whom it might or might not concern, and
absorbed the whole of the information. This gentleman's white hair
was unusually large, and his shock of white hair was
unusually thick and ample. I suppose, waiter, he said, shaking
his shock of hair as a Newfoundland dog might shake

(01:52):
his before sitting down to dinner, that a fair lodging
for a single buffer might be found in these parts.
Eh waiter had no doubt of it. Something old, said
the gentleman. Take my hat down for a moment from
that peg, will you No, No, I don't want it.
Look into it. What do you see written there? The

(02:13):
waiter read Datchery. Now you know my name, said the gentleman,
Dick Datterery. Hang it up again. I was saying, something
old is what I should prefer, something odd and out
of the way, something venerable, architectural and inconvenient. We have

(02:34):
a good choice of inconvenient lodgings in the town, sir,
I think, replied the waiter, with modest confidence in its resources.
That way, indeed, I have no doubt that we could
suit you that far, however particular you may be. But
an architectural lodging that seemed to trouble the waiter's head,

(02:57):
and he shook it. Anything cathedral now, mister Datchett, suggested.
Mister Tope, said the waiter, brightening as he rubbed his
chin with his hand, would be the likeliest party to
inform in that line. Who is, mister Tope inquired dictatrey.
The waiter explained that he was the verger, and that

(03:19):
Missus Tope had indeed once upon a time let lodgings herself,
or offered to let them, but that as nobody had
ever taken them, Missus Tope's window bill, long a cloisterum institution,
had disappeared, probably had tumbled down one day and never
been put up again. I'll call on Missus Tope, said

(03:40):
mister Dattery after dinner. So, when he had done his dinner,
he was duly directed to the spot and sallied out
for it. But the Crozier being an hotel of a
most retiring disposition, and the waiter's directions being fatally precise,
he soon became bewildered and went boggling about and about

(04:03):
the cathedral tower whenever he could catch a glimpse of it,
with a general impression on his mind that Missus Tops
was somewhere very near it, and that, like the children
in the game of hot boiled beans and very good butter,
he was warm in his search when he saw the tower,
and cold when he didn't see it. He was getting

(04:24):
very cold, indeed, when he came upon a fragment of
burial ground in which an unhappy sheep was grazing, unhappy
because a hideous small boy was stoning it through the railings,
and had already lamed it in one leg, and was
much excited by the benevolent sportsmanlike purpose of breaking its
other three legs and bringing it down. Eat him again,

(04:48):
cried the boy, as the poor creature leaped and made
a dint in his wool. Let him be, said, mister Datrey,
don't you see you've lamed him? You lie, returned the sportsman.

Speaker 2 (05:02):
He went and lamed hisself. I see him do it,
and I give him a shy as a video warning
to him not to go a bruise in his master's
matten anymore.

Speaker 1 (05:13):
Come here, I won't, I'll come when you can catch me.
Stay there then and show me which is mister Topes.

Speaker 2 (05:22):
Can I stay here and show you which is Topsis's
when Topsis is his tather side of the camfeder l
and over the crossings around ever so many corners. Stupid yaha.

Speaker 1 (05:38):
Show me where it is then, and I'll give you something.
Come on. Then, this brisk dialogue concluded, the boy led
the way and by and by stopped at some distance
from an arched passage, pointing.

Speaker 2 (05:52):
Lucky yonder, you see that vendor and door that's Topes.

Speaker 1 (05:58):
Y lie, it ain't that's Jaspers. Indeed, said mister Dattery,
with a second look of some interest. Yes, and I
ain't going no nearer, im I tell you why not?
Because I are going to be.

Speaker 2 (06:15):
Lifted off my legs and have me brace's bust and
be choked, not if I knows it, and not by im.
Wait till I set a jolly good flint a flying
at the bag of his jolly old head someday. Now look,
t'o side the heartch not the sideway Jasper's dories. T'o side,

(06:36):
I see a little way, you know that side there's
a low door down two steps that's Topsiss's with his
name on a hove or plate.

Speaker 1 (06:48):
Good see here, said mister Dattery, producing a shilling. You
owe me half of this, yo, lie, I don't owe
you nothing. I never seen you. I tell you you
owe me half of this because I have no sixpence
in my pocket. So the next time you meet me
you shall do something else for me to pay me.

(07:11):
All right, give us out? What is your name and
where do you live?

Speaker 2 (07:17):
De piety traveler's tutney crossed the green.

Speaker 1 (07:22):
The boy instantly darted off with a shilling lest mister
Dattery should repent, but stopped at a safe distance, on
the happy chance of his being uneasy in his mind
about it to goad him with a demon dance expressive
of its irrevocability. Mister Dattery, taking off his hat to
give that shock of white hair of his another shake,

(07:44):
seemed quite resigned, and betook himself whither. He had been
directed mister Tope's official dwelling, communicating by an upper stair
with mister Jaspers. Hence, Missus Tope's attendance on that gentleman
was a very modest proportions, and partook of the character
of a cool dungeon. Its ancient walls were massive, and

(08:06):
its rooms rather seemed to have been dug out of
them than to have been designed beforehand with any reference
to them. The main door opened at once on a
chamber of no describable shape with a grond roof, which
in its turn opened on to another chamber of no
describable shape with another grond roof. Their windows small and

(08:29):
in the thickness of the walls. These two chambers close
as to their atmosphere, and swarthy as to their illumination
by natural light, were the apartments which Missus Tope had
so long offered to an unappreciative city. Mister Datterery, however,
was more appreciative. He found that if he sat with

(08:50):
the main door open, he would enjoy the passing society
of all comers to and fro by the gateway, and
would have light enough. He found that if mister and
Missus Tope, living over head, used for their own egress
and ingress a little side stared that came plump into
the precincts by a door opening outward to the surprise

(09:10):
and inconvenience of a limited public of pedestrians in a
narrow way, he would be alone as in a separate residence.
He found the rent moderate, and everything as quaintly inconvenient
as he could desire. He agreed therefore to take the
lodging then and there, and money down possession to be

(09:31):
had next evening, on condition that reference was permitted him
to mister Jasper as occupying the gatehouse, of which on
the other side of the gateway the verger's hole in
the wall was in apanage or subsidiary part. The poor
dear gentleman was very solitary and very sad, Missus Tope said,

(09:53):
but she had no doubt he would speak for her.
Perhaps mister Datchery had heard something of what had occurred
their last winter. Mister Datery had as confused a knowledge
of the event in question, on trying to recall it
as he well could have, He begged Missus Tope's pardon
when she found it incumbent on her to correct him

(10:15):
in every detail of his summary of the facts, but
pleaded that he was merely a single buffer, getting through
life upon his means as idly as he could, and
that so many people were so constantly making away with
so many other people as to render it difficult for
a buffer of an easy temper to preserve the circumstances

(10:36):
of the several cases unmixed in his mind. Mister Jasper,
proving willing to speak for missus Tope. Mister Datcery, who
had sent up his card, was invited to ascend the
Poston staircase. The Mayor was there, Mister Tope said, but
he was not to be regarded in the light of company,

(10:56):
as he and mister Jasper were great friends. I beg pardon,
said mister Datrey, making a leg with his hat under
his arm, as he addressed himself equally to both gentlemen.
A selfish precaution on my part, and not personally interesting
to anybody but myself, but as a buffer, living on

(11:18):
his means, and having an idea of doing it in
this lovely place, in peace and quiet, for remaining span
of life. I beg to ask if the Tope family
are quite respectable. Mister Jasper could answer for that without
the slightest hesitation. That is enough, sir, said mister Dattrey,

(11:39):
my friend, the Mayor, added mister Jasper, presenting mister Datrey
with a courtly motion of his hand towards that potentate
whose recommendation is actually much more important with stranger than
that of an obscure person like myself, will testify in
their behalf. I am sure the Worshipful the Mayor, said

(12:04):
mister Dattrey, with a low bow, places me under an
infinite obligation. Very good people, Sir, mister and missus tope,
said mister Sapsey, with condescension, Very good opinions, very well behaved,
very respectful, much approved by the Dean and chapter. The

(12:29):
Worshipful the Mayor gives them a character, said mister Datrey,
of which they may indeed be proud. I would ask
his Honor if I might be permitted, whether there are
not many objects of great interest in the city which
is under his beneficent sway. We are, Sir, returned mister Sapsey,

(12:51):
an ancient city and an ecclesiastical city. We are a
constitutional city, as it comes such a city to be,
and we uphold and maintain our glorious privileges. His Honor,
said mister Dattrey, bowing. Inspires me with a desire to

(13:12):
know more of the city, and confirms me in my
inclination to end my days in the city. Retired from
the army, Sir, suggested mister Sapsey, His honor, the Mayor
does me too much credit, returned mister Dattrey. Nayvy, sir,
suggested mister Sapsey again repeated mister Dattrey, his honor, the

(13:39):
Mayor does me too much credit. Diplomacy is a fine profession,
said mister Sapsey, as a general remark. There I confess,
his honor, the Mayor is too many for me, said
mister Datry, with an ingenious smile and bow. Even a
diplomatic bird must all to such a gun. Now this

(14:02):
was very soothing. Here was a gentleman of a great
not to say, a grand address, accustomed to rank and dignity,
really setting a fine example how to behave to a mayor.
There was something in that third person's style of being
spoken to that mister Sapsey found particularly recognisant of his

(14:24):
merits and position. But I crave pardon, said mister Datery.
His honor the Mayor will bear with me if for
a moment I have been deluded into occupying his time
and have forgotten the humble claims upon my own of
my hotel, the Crozier. Not at all, sir, said mister Sapsey.

(14:48):
I am returning home, and if you would like to
take the exterior of our cathedral in your way, I
shall be glad to point it out. His honor, the
Mayor said, mister Datrey is more than kind and gracious
as mister Datrey, when he had made his acknowledgments to

(15:09):
mister Jasper, could not be induced to go out of
the room before the worshipful. The worshipful led the way downstairs,
mister Datrey following with his hat under his arm and
his shock of white hair streaming in the evening breeze.
Might I ask, his honor, said mister Datrey, whether that

(15:29):
gentleman we have just left is the gentleman of whom
I have heard in the neighborhood as being much afflicted
by the loss of a neview and concentrating his life
on avenging the loss, That is the gentleman John Jasper, Sir,
Would his honor allow me to inquire whether there are

(15:50):
strong suspicions of any one more than suspicion, Sir, returned
mister Sapsey. All but certain tis only think now, cried
mister Datery. But proof, Sir, proof must be built up

(16:11):
stone by stone, said the Mayor, as I say, the
end crowns the work. It is not enough that justice
should be morally certain. She must be immorally certain legally,
that is his honor, said mister Dottery. Reminds me of

(16:34):
the netchure of the law immoral. How true, as I say,
sir pompously went on the Mayor. The arm of the
law is a strong arm and a long arm. That
is the way I put it. A strong arm and
a long arm. How forcible, and yet again, how true,

(16:59):
murmured mister Datary. And without betraying what I call the
secrets of the prison house, said mister Sapsey. The secrets
of the prison house is the term I use.

Speaker 2 (17:15):
On the bench.

Speaker 1 (17:17):
And what other term than his honors would express it,
said mister Dattrey, without I say betraying them, I predict
to you, knowing the iron will of the gentleman we
have just left, I take the bold step of calling
it iron on account of its strength, that in this

(17:40):
case the long arm will reach and the strong arm
will strike. This is our cathedral, sir. The best judges
are pleased to admire it, and the best among our
townsmen own to being a little vein of it all.
This time mister Datrey had walked with his hat under

(18:02):
his arm and his white hair streaming. He had an
odd momentary appearance upon him of having forgotten his hat
when mister Sapsy now touched it, and he clapped his
hand up to his head, as if with some vague
expectation of finding another hat upon it. Pray be covered, sir,

(18:25):
entreated mister Sapsey, magnificently, plying, I shall not mind it.
I assure you his honor is very good. But I
do it for coolness, said mister Dattrey. Then mister Dattery
admired the cathedral, and mister Sapsey pointed it out as

(18:46):
if he himself had invented and built it. There were
a few details, indeed, of which he did not approve,
but those he glossed over, as if the workman had
made mistakes in his absence. The cathedral disposed of, he
led the way by the churchyard and stopped to extol
the beauty of the evening. By chance in the immediate

(19:08):
vicinity of missus Sapsy's epitaph, and by the bye, said
mister Sapsey, appearing to descend from an elevation, to remember
it all of a sudden, like Apollo shooting down from
Olympus to pick up his forgotten liar. That is one
of our small lions. The partiality of our people has

(19:32):
made it so, and strangers have been seen taking a
copy of it now and then. I am not a
judge of it myself, for it is a little work
of my own. But it was troublesome to turn, sir,
I may say, difficult to turn with elegance. Mister Dattery

(19:54):
became so ecstatic over mister Sapsy's composition that, in spite
of his intention to end his days in Cloisterham, and
therefore his probability having him reserved many opportunities of copying it,
he would have transcribed it into his pocket book on
the spot, but for the slouching towards them of its
material producer and perpetuator, Girdles, whom mister Sapsey hailed, not

(20:21):
sorry to show him a bright example of behavior to superiors.
Ah Girdles, this is the mason, sir, one of our
cloisterum worthies. Everybody here knows Girdles. Mister Dtery Girdles a

(20:41):
gentleman who is going to settle here. I wouldn't do
it if I was him, growled Durdles. We're a heavy lot.
You surely don't speak for yourself. Mister Durdles, returned mister Dattery,
any more than for his honor. Ooz's honor Demandeddles his

(21:01):
honor the mayor I never was bought afore him, said Durdles,
with anything but the look of a loyal subject of
the Mayoralty.

Speaker 2 (21:11):
And it will be time enough for me to honor
him when I am. Until which and when and where,
mister Sapsey is his name, England is his nation, Cloisterhams
his dwelling place, auk sneering his occupation here. Deputy, preceded

(21:34):
by a flying oyster shell, appeared upon the scene and
requested to have the summer threppence instantly chucked to him
by mister Durdles, whom he had been vainly seeking up
and down as lawful wages overdue. While that gentleman, with
his bundle under his arm, slowly found and counted out
the money. Mister Sapsey informed the new settler of Girdle's habits,

(21:59):
pursuits of and reputation. I suppose a curious stranger might
come to see you and your works, mister Durdles, at
any odd time, said mister Dattrey, upon that any gentleman
is workon to come and see me any evening. If
he brings liquor for two with him, returned Durdles with

(22:21):
a penny between his teeth and certain halfpence in his hands,
or if he liked to make it twice two, he'll
be doubly welcome. I shall come, master, Deputy. What do
you owe me a job?

Speaker 1 (22:38):
Mind? You pay me honestly with the job of showing
me mister Durdle's house when I want to go there, Deputy,
with a piercing broadside of whistle through the whole gap
in his mouth as a receipt in full for all
arrears vanished. The worshipful and the worshiper then passed on
together until they parted with many ceremonis at the Worshipful's door.

(23:02):
Even then, the worshiper carried his hat under his arm
and gave his streaming white hair to the breeze, said
mister Dattery to himself that night, as he looked at
his white hair in the gas lighted looking glass over
the coffee room, chimney piece at the Crozier, and shook
it out for a single buffer of an easy temper.

(23:25):
Living idly upon his means, I have had rather a
busy afternoon. End of Chapter eighteen, read by all Enchant
of Tunbridge in Kent, England, during the summer of two
thousand and eight,