April 4, 2025 • 24 mins
In this powerful episode of The Naybors Podcast, we open up about something that affects every household but is rarely talked about with honesty—our relationship with money. From childhood lessons and financial trauma to budgeting struggles and breakthrough moments, we share how money shaped our mindsets, our marriage, and our mission. We dive deep into:
- How early money experiences affect our financial habits
- The unspoken money rules we brought into our relationship
- How we’re learning to align our faith, values, and finances
- Why your money story matters more than your money goals
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
We thank y'all for tuning in to us today. But
you know, we're going to talk a little more serious today.
We're going to talk about our finances. What's your relationship
with them? Danny. It's the Neighbors podcast with recent Mike.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
They discusing different issues that affect us, treating like that.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
It's the Neighbors Way, the Neighbors.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Yeah you, good morning, good morning, good morning. What's up cools? Yo? Man,
I'm good, bro, I'm good. I'm gonna tell you the
last couple of weeks, the wife and I we've been
really sitting down talking about our finances, gotcha. And there's
something that that we you know, we talked about before,
(00:47):
but we always we never really saw always saw our
eye right.
Speaker 4 (00:52):
Right.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
It's been recently where the two of us have been
relatively more on the same page, gotcha. But a lot
of it and I had to do a self reflection
in all honesty on what was my real relationship towards money? Right? Okay?
Speaker 4 (01:14):
All right?
Speaker 1 (01:15):
You know, and there's I think there's a lot of
y'all out there that's listened to us, y'all might be
questioning the same thing, like what is your relationship with money?
And I'm saying that because you know, y'all, y'all know
that we've been married.
Speaker 4 (01:30):
You know it'll be twenty five years very very soon
for us.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
And right, and so, what happened is in our first
five years, this is our first five years, we had
our gas cut off, we had electricity cut off, we
filed for bankruptcy. We almost had the house repold, I mean,
you know, repossessed. We had the car repossessed. This is
(01:55):
our first five years of marriage. Wow.
Speaker 4 (01:59):
And so.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
And then we because we owned the house, you know,
we were able to sell it in year six, you
know whatever, to recruit some money. But in our reality,
our yeah, I'm gonna be honest with you, I did
not know how to really budget or how to balance
(02:23):
a check book or anything like that.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
You know, we we all been through that. I've been
through the same scenario and not marriage, but right, right,
because like you know, back then, you feel it almost
everything like a free flow.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
But when when reality kicks in, when.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
The money drains, like, okay, we gotta change, make some changes, right, right,
I mean basically part of you know, living and learning,
but finances, you really think when we was younger, was
re taught about finances not really, not really because everything
is day to day, right, right, And we took advantage.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
Of that, we did, but but the reality is is
that that wasn't sustainable, like we can't keep it up,
you know. So so like I remember childhood wise us
not having so so you know, for those of you
who grew up in Philly and some of them row
(03:19):
homes whatever else. I mean, I don't know too many
people that had gas as their heating element, you know,
like like the heat of the house. So everybody that
I knew had oil, right, you know, back then we
had gas.
Speaker 4 (03:32):
All right, you know.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
So so for us, you know, if you have oil heat,
like how often do you have to pay for oil?
That's an additional bill right right, So you don't always
uh game plan for that because you never know where
the weather is going to go crazy, right, you know.
(03:54):
And so you got oil heat and then you realize
I don't have the money, and you keep trying to
nicko on dim oil, right, and the next thing you know,
you don't have no heat. I mean, And we and
we had moments man like where we we didn't have
we could have we could go.
Speaker 4 (04:10):
Like a week or so without heat. In our house.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
Because of that's just the way things were, you get
what I mean, you know, So I think that's the
challenge that I didn't always see the what appeared to
be the right management of finances. But I mean, i'm
single parent home, you get what I'm saying. So two kids,
(04:36):
single parent.
Speaker 4 (04:37):
Home, you know.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
And it's not like my brother and I sat around.
We sat at home all the time, like we had
church stuff going on and going here and there whatever else.
So but yeah, man, I mean I think that and
that's the only reason why I bring up this whole
idea or that that that perception of relationship of.
Speaker 4 (04:55):
You know, money, because.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
What I saw is what I took him to the marriage,
you know, is that Rob Peter to pay Paul mentality? Yo,
you know, and I don't even know how you know
how this is right now, but you know, if I
go into my little storage area, I probably have a
good eight nine hundred DVDs. And and I'm saying that
(05:23):
because now, now, mind you, I said DVDs. I didn't
say blu ray, I said DVDs. Yeah, but that's because
when my kids were born, I would go every every paycheck,
I would go in and buy some DVDs. Gotcha, gotcha?
Speaker 4 (05:38):
And so what would.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Happened is, oh, yo, you know what the bill last
last month for Pico was only seventy five dollars. Not
realizing that or remembering not only paid fifty you know,
half of that, gotcha? So I might have paid Let's
say I paid fifty dollars. So now this this bill
(05:59):
is actually eighty five dollars plus the twenty five are
actually old right right?
Speaker 4 (06:04):
You you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (06:05):
Some thinking that I had a couple of extra dollars
and I forgot that I only pay half, right, And
the wife is like, no more reason, let's pay the
whole bill. I'm like, no, we'll cut you up later, right,
you get what I mean. I screwed up, right?
Speaker 2 (06:17):
At least you admitted it, yes, yeah, something like the
people don't want to take accountability right for that, you
know they you know it's I've been there and done
that too.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
You know.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
I had when I was younger, I had to repo
but to the gas station, you know, credit cards cut up,
went to the gas station, pump gas like yeah yeah,
the pump not working.
Speaker 4 (06:41):
Mmmm.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
We had to cut your car like oh wow, yeah wow.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
Being a knucklehead or the person I can blame is myself,
right for my self, you know, not doing things the
right way.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
You know, you live and learn, You live and learn, right.
I think that's the that's the challenge that you know,
how many of us can be honest with ourselves? Correct? Correct?
You get what I mean? Because that's not the easiest
thing to do.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
If you don't take account, you'll always think you can
get away with stuff or slide by, which is going
to hurt you in the loan run once it happens. Okay,
this well, would not do the next time, right, right,
because you never know when that time gonna come up again?
Speaker 1 (07:22):
Right, So when he slapped hard, you know, right? So
I mean so, so let me ask you this, Mike.
I mean, so I know for me, I would see
Let's say, let's say, for whatever reason, the wife would
stash some money, like I'm gonna tell you how bad
my my my issues were. Let's say the wife stashed
(07:44):
some money for whatever reason, and I have found out
about it or I knew about it. I will find
a way to spend it, like that's how bad I was. Wow, Yeah,
I will find a way to spend it and and
so I cannot sit here and say, and the way
to spend it may not have always been on something
(08:04):
that appeared to be incorrect. So let's say, let's say
it's one hundred dollars. All right, you know what, Let's
take the one hundred dollars. You know, this is back
in the day where you can get a hotel room
for cheap, right, you know. So let's say, yo, let's
take the family to Atlantic City. Let's stay overnight.
Speaker 4 (08:24):
Real quick.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Well, was it really in the budget to spend one
hundred dollars? No?
Speaker 4 (08:30):
Right, you get what I mean.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
But in my mind, it's like, hey, the family, we're out,
we're enjoying ourselves. But what I never took into consideration. Yeah,
I took the extra hundred dollars, but the four of
us had to eat, right, So it wasn't just one
hundred dollars, and you had to pay the tolls keep going,
(08:53):
include the gas.
Speaker 4 (08:54):
Gas, you know.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
So so that hundred dollar that I thinking that I
was just spending end up being two hundred and fifty
three hundred, right, that we didn't necessarily budget for. There
you go, right, you know. So, so I just want
to know how many of you are or have been
dealing with the same thing, right, you know what challenges
(09:21):
have y'all been trying to overcome and this is coming
up because of this is just what I've been dealing
with or or I mean, I'm not dealing with it
right this moment, but it's just those things that as
we've been reflecting on all of the things we've been
going through, you know, it's like tag like, you know,
(09:45):
I really see how it's messing up, right, right?
Speaker 4 (09:47):
Do you know what I mean? And I get to
say it out loud?
Speaker 1 (09:50):
Right, like right now is the first time where I'm
actually admitting I had a problem.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
Right once again, you accepting the accountability, right, you know
what you did wrong, what you got to do, do
what you have to do, right. So that's the that's
the one step right there. Some people don't want to
take accountability for things, especially when you're in a relationship
or you know, marriage and all that that word teamwork, right, it's.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
Not me, me, me, me me? Yeah, what can you
do for me when you're certain?
Speaker 2 (10:19):
You know, marriage, teamwork, relationship is teamwork these days you
have to you have to not what's going to happen.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
Right, So you know, and so now you know, I
have to say it out loud just so I can
say it to my kids, right, correct, understood, you know
what I mean? Because I want you because I don't
want them to repeat right exactly, you get what I
mean exactly? You know, because it'll be too easy, right,
(10:50):
you know, And they both have jobs, and you know
we talked to them all the time. Hey, same, Now
they're not the great the greatest, add it? So I
understand like as of right now, because they're still young,
right you know, Hey, you got growing to that a
little bit, you know, accountability like you might buy.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
I mean, there's nothing wrong with treating yourself, but right,
get paid now, STA's a little something inside. Put a side, right,
always know that old classic saying always.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
Save for a rainy day. Well, well, I mean so
so let me ask you this, Mike, I mean, so
for you, right, you know, because again these are these
are I'm gonna give you two scenarios where I was
wasting money that I didn't actually realize. The first one
was go into a Mac machine. Y'all knows I said
mac machine. Going to a Mac machine, not an at
(11:43):
of a Mac machine, but going to a Mac machine
and not realizing that I had extra transaction fees because
it wasn't my bank. Number one right, yeah, number two
was I didn't realize that I was spending anywhere between
fifty team to twenty dollars a day on lunch when
I was going to work. Mm hmm.
Speaker 4 (12:06):
Did I really need to eat that much fruit?
Speaker 1 (12:08):
Dope?
Speaker 4 (12:11):
So why was I doing it?
Speaker 1 (12:12):
You're doing it because you can do it.
Speaker 4 (12:16):
You get what I mean?
Speaker 1 (12:16):
Yeah? Yeah, yeah, you did it because you can do it.
Oh man, I can go to the magmatics. Yeah. But
basically you was.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
It was really fooling yourself, right, Nobody else use for yourself, right,
because like it's like, okay, you was talking to yourself.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
Yeah, we can keep up with your Yeah, why not?
We can do that? Yeah, why not? What's right?
Speaker 2 (12:35):
That's what happened, right, That's what happened. And nobody else
influenced you to do it. No, you did it yourself.
I didn't did the same thing. I did the same
thing Buller feeds. I'm like, dang cool din overdrivet over drift.
Oh my goodness, right right cool? I mean the more
you take out, the more their money they taking from you, right, right,
(12:57):
you know right, But we had to learn the hard way, right,
I had to learn the hard way. That's why you say,
now we teach our kids how to save. But, like
I said, nothing wrong exploring, you know, treating yourself. But
be reasonable, be somewhat economical about the situation, right to
find a sales. Nothing wrong with sales, trust some believe
(13:19):
nothing romer sales. Nothing wrongan clans, trust some belief all that. Oh,
you're just being cheap. I was like, Okay, you spend
four hundred dollars. I only spend two hundred dollars on
the same product. So who's the smart one?
Speaker 4 (13:31):
And here's the thing.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
Now, that four hundred dollars was when it was quote
unquote brand new versus two hundred dollars might have been
a month later. Right soever, I want it now. That's
the problem. I want it now.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
I can't wait. Oh okay, I can wait, right. I
don't get but seven days, right, eight two months? But
I can get it for that price. Oh, I'm gonna
wait right, ain'ty simple? But a lot of people don't
shop like that.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
I'm gonna be hones Like, there are two moments, and
I was temp to talk to my wife about it
over the weekend of just how like like like, for
an example, I can see where if I took my
credit card, now I look at my balance, Yo, I
got seventy five dollars in there available. Now mind you,
(14:22):
that means I'm seventy five dollars from being maxed out. Correct, right, right,
But that's seventy five dollars looking like I want to
order from not just Wings, which is I know is
gonna be sixty five dollars, right, so the car is
not totally maxed out.
Speaker 4 (14:37):
I still got ten dollars.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
Left, right, true? True, But but here's what I don't
Here's what I don't take in consideration the interest fees.
Here you do, the interest are gonna cost more than
a ten dollars and then guess what now I'm over
my limit on my credit card. Right, Those are the
(14:58):
things that I had to deal with. Been there, done it,
you know, And that is why we're bringing it to
y'all today. Like how close to the vest are y'all?
Speaker 3 (15:10):
Like?
Speaker 1 (15:10):
How like you know we listen to all these finance
gururrules and all the other type of stuff, like, Yo,
you need to have at least three months you know
of your living expenses in the bank at least three,
preferably six months. And now I totally agree, because you
never know what's going to happen, like you said, rainy
day stuff, right, But.
Speaker 2 (15:30):
It depends on your lifestyle, depends on your you know,
your finance is a month. Some people can't afford to
put away three months.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
And but see that's the that's the point though, right,
you know, because because let's look at what's going on
right now with everyone losing their job. It's a whole
lot of people losing their job, yeah, you know, and
so when is what is the time frame of them
finding another job? In all honesty, and they feel the
(15:58):
work they used to do, right.
Speaker 4 (16:00):
So they're stuck.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
They're stuck. So so my question is for all those individuals,
all of you that might have lost your job recently, when,
like when is it? Or when will your resources dry up?
And then the banks and everybody else starts to take away.
Speaker 4 (16:21):
All your stuff?
Speaker 1 (16:22):
Right? How about that? Right?
Speaker 4 (16:25):
You get what I mean?
Speaker 1 (16:26):
You know, So, so I get that you need to
have the money, you need to have that resource put away.
But to your point, if I'm already checked to check,
there's no way I can catch up, there's no way, right.
But but I'm but I'm using what I did, spending
money on DVDs that I didn't need to, right, spending
(16:46):
money on lunch way more than what I needed to,
you know, so I didn't need, you know, a fit
because I worked in Center City. I used to love
going to the gallery because.
Speaker 4 (17:01):
Of my job.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
Was like right, right, okay, right, you know, so I
would go, like you said, ready, terminal, yo, I can
give me a pound of chicken wings, grilled chicken wings
right from the amish. It was something like that for
like eight dollars. Well guess what I would do. One
I would eat the whole dog on pound just about
(17:23):
of chicken wings, which doesn't make sense. Then on top
of that, I would have French right. And I'm justifying
it because in my mind, I'm justifying it because I
worked the late shift, right, and so I worked eleven thirty.
Speaker 4 (17:38):
I mean yeah, I worked eleven thirty to eight. That
was my shift. My lunch was at three, three thirty.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
So what would happen is after five six o'clock because
I was in customer service.
Speaker 4 (17:50):
After five six o'clock, ain't nothing.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
Else to do, Ain't nothing else to do, right, gotcha.
So I would just get all that, all that chicken,
and I'd just be tearing it up after, you know,
after everybody left whatever roase, I'll be sitting there the chicken,
bout French fries and bot soda. So so that was
my twenty dollars, you know, because I would get the chicken,
(18:13):
it's eight dollars, I would get French fries, I would
give me two sodas, and then I would give me
a snack, right, got to have the snack, right, So
that that was my fifteen twenty dollars.
Speaker 4 (18:23):
Yeah right, you know. And so but I did that
every day.
Speaker 3 (18:29):
Was it?
Speaker 4 (18:29):
You know? Was it really needed?
Speaker 1 (18:31):
So now when I look at myself and I and
I'm like, dag, I'm just thinkingful, I'm not four hundred pounds,
you get what I mean? Yeah, right right, because that
was a whole lot of food that was packing away.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
Especially down there. You know, my daughter's mom used to
we used together. She'd break down there, you know, Breg
the week you gotta put any breakfast lunch snacks, right,
take him. You're like thirty dollars a day? Yeah, easy, easily, yep, easily, yep.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
That was me on my lean days or days where
I knew I didn't have the money, that's when I
would go to the to the stand. Got you. I
would like, go get me two hot dogs and right,
you know, but that was still eight dollars, still seven
eight you know, seven eight dollars you know, two dogs,
chips and soda, et cetera. Right, right, it was still
anywhere between five and eight dollars. Yeah, you know, you
(19:24):
know so so yeah, I just want to know, have
y'all y'all really taken a look at what your finances
really are? How about this? Right?
Speaker 2 (19:35):
Especially these days, these time and days like you definitely
gotta be sit down and go with your finances.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
Little everything is.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
Going up right and like me, you know, I like
get up and go like three different locations just to
find you know, reasonable price for food.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
Right, and.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
You have to do it now, yeah, you do. You
have to do it. Definitely have to do it. And
it's crazy. It's no, there's no more thing such thing
as one shop shop.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
No, you can't know, you can't because you have to. Now.
I do understand that there are some places where some
of the food may be fresher than others, correct, I
do understand that, right, But otherwise, like like if because
we're not in the city, we may not run into
it as hard as some of the other.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
And that is certain locations they price they are kind
of price gouging.
Speaker 4 (20:35):
They are they are they taking advantage? Yeah, so.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
I mean, let's be honest. I mean, I can't blame them,
per se, I can't, I under I mean again, if so,
if I look at it from the business side, you're
gonna try to get every little penny.
Speaker 2 (20:50):
You can because it's costing you, right, Yeah, because it's cost.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
You know, because because just how much is it going
to cost, especially if everybody's gearing up for these arrows
and stuff, right, So I gotta find a way that
still had the money coming.
Speaker 4 (21:04):
In, correct, you know? So yeah, I mean especially I
can't be.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
Mad because basically it just shrinkled down to the right.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
And but that's what they say is gonna happen anyway.
It's going to happen, right, you know. But even with that, so,
how can I pay my bills if I lost my job?
Now I have a choice? Am I gonna eat? Am
I gonna pay my bills? How about that? Especially your family?
Speaker 4 (21:31):
Right dude? What are you supposed to do?
Speaker 1 (21:34):
What are you supposed to do?
Speaker 4 (21:36):
What do you you know?
Speaker 1 (21:37):
So, so, yeah, y'all, I just want to know what
your thoughts are. Yeah, I mean, this this is not
a This is a typical, a real conversation that the
neighbors need to have, right in all honestly, because.
Speaker 4 (21:54):
Again, it affects our community.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
It does what it does basically do what would you
do for some right? Seriously, what would you do?
Speaker 4 (22:04):
I mean? And so I think.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
Like where we are, where Mike and I are, I mean,
it's a it's a group of us that talk on
a rather regular basis, you know what I mean, you know,
And and I think that even the people that that's
across the street from us or whatever, like, if we
really had to come together, I think it would be
a group of us that could We might not always,
might not speak all the time, right, but I think
(22:28):
that if there was an issue, we would we would
we would, we would. And it's not and that's not
always easily found, exactly, it's not, you know. And so
so I mean I appreciate whe where I'm at. Likewise,
you know, I appreciate it, you know, I mean, I
just don't like the street itself. But I don't.
Speaker 4 (22:49):
But I don't have a problem with the neighbors at all,
you know.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
So so because we live on this hill and yeah,
it's a whole lot of other you know, craziness with it.
You know, we feel like we we're on a river,
you know. So that's why I said, so, it's not
it's not the neighbors. It is the other environmental issues
(23:12):
that we made as well, you know. But you know,
but I thank y'all very much for listening today.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
Appreciate it, and you know, let us know what your
situation was and what would you do.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
Feel free reach out to us right Instagram, Facebook, Twitter,
Thank you cause you email. It's all good. It's all good.
But yo, y'all, we thank y'all for listening. We should
appreciate it.
Speaker 3 (23:42):
Peace, Peace, Thanks for hanging out with us on the
Neighbors Podcast. We hope you enjoyed the conversation and felt
right at home. If you like what you heard, don't
be a stranger, subscribe, leave us a review and share
this with your friends and family. Got something on your
mind or a topic you'd love to hear us talk about.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
Hit us up.
Speaker 3 (24:04):
Until next time. Remember we're all just neighbors working together
for a better community. Stay safe, stay connected, and we'll
catch you in the next one.
We thank y'all for tuning in to us today. But
you know, we're going to talk a little more serious today.
We're going to talk about our finances. What's your relationship
with them? Danny. It's the Neighbors podcast with recent Mike.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
They discusing different issues that affect us, treating like that.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
It's the Neighbors Way, the Neighbors.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Yeah you, good morning, good morning, good morning. What's up cools? Yo? Man,
I'm good, bro, I'm good. I'm gonna tell you the
last couple of weeks, the wife and I we've been
really sitting down talking about our finances, gotcha. And there's
something that that we you know, we talked about before,
(00:47):
but we always we never really saw always saw our
eye right.
Speaker 4 (00:52):
Right.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
It's been recently where the two of us have been
relatively more on the same page, gotcha. But a lot
of it and I had to do a self reflection
in all honesty on what was my real relationship towards money? Right? Okay?
Speaker 4 (01:14):
All right?
Speaker 1 (01:15):
You know, and there's I think there's a lot of
y'all out there that's listened to us, y'all might be
questioning the same thing, like what is your relationship with money?
And I'm saying that because you know, y'all, y'all know
that we've been married.
Speaker 4 (01:30):
You know it'll be twenty five years very very soon
for us.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
And right, and so, what happened is in our first
five years, this is our first five years, we had
our gas cut off, we had electricity cut off, we
filed for bankruptcy. We almost had the house repold, I mean,
you know, repossessed. We had the car repossessed. This is
(01:55):
our first five years of marriage. Wow.
Speaker 4 (01:59):
And so.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
And then we because we owned the house, you know,
we were able to sell it in year six, you
know whatever, to recruit some money. But in our reality,
our yeah, I'm gonna be honest with you, I did
not know how to really budget or how to balance
(02:23):
a check book or anything like that.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
You know, we we all been through that. I've been
through the same scenario and not marriage, but right, right,
because like you know, back then, you feel it almost
everything like a free flow.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
But when when reality kicks in, when.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
The money drains, like, okay, we gotta change, make some changes, right, right,
I mean basically part of you know, living and learning,
but finances, you really think when we was younger, was
re taught about finances not really, not really because everything
is day to day, right, right, And we took advantage.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
Of that, we did, but but the reality is is
that that wasn't sustainable, like we can't keep it up,
you know. So so like I remember childhood wise us
not having so so you know, for those of you
who grew up in Philly and some of them row
(03:19):
homes whatever else. I mean, I don't know too many
people that had gas as their heating element, you know,
like like the heat of the house. So everybody that
I knew had oil, right, you know, back then we
had gas.
Speaker 4 (03:32):
All right, you know.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
So so for us, you know, if you have oil heat,
like how often do you have to pay for oil?
That's an additional bill right right, So you don't always
uh game plan for that because you never know where
the weather is going to go crazy, right, you know.
(03:54):
And so you got oil heat and then you realize
I don't have the money, and you keep trying to
nicko on dim oil, right, and the next thing you know,
you don't have no heat. I mean, And we and
we had moments man like where we we didn't have
we could have we could go.
Speaker 4 (04:10):
Like a week or so without heat. In our house.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
Because of that's just the way things were, you get
what I mean, you know, So I think that's the
challenge that I didn't always see the what appeared to
be the right management of finances. But I mean, i'm
single parent home, you get what I'm saying. So two kids,
(04:36):
single parent.
Speaker 4 (04:37):
Home, you know.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
And it's not like my brother and I sat around.
We sat at home all the time, like we had
church stuff going on and going here and there whatever else.
So but yeah, man, I mean I think that and
that's the only reason why I bring up this whole
idea or that that that perception of relationship of.
Speaker 4 (04:55):
You know, money, because.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
What I saw is what I took him to the marriage,
you know, is that Rob Peter to pay Paul mentality? Yo,
you know, and I don't even know how you know
how this is right now, but you know, if I
go into my little storage area, I probably have a
good eight nine hundred DVDs. And and I'm saying that
(05:23):
because now, now, mind you, I said DVDs. I didn't
say blu ray, I said DVDs. Yeah, but that's because
when my kids were born, I would go every every paycheck,
I would go in and buy some DVDs. Gotcha, gotcha?
Speaker 4 (05:38):
And so what would.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Happened is, oh, yo, you know what the bill last
last month for Pico was only seventy five dollars. Not
realizing that or remembering not only paid fifty you know,
half of that, gotcha? So I might have paid Let's
say I paid fifty dollars. So now this this bill
(05:59):
is actually eighty five dollars plus the twenty five are
actually old right right?
Speaker 4 (06:04):
You you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (06:05):
Some thinking that I had a couple of extra dollars
and I forgot that I only pay half, right, And
the wife is like, no more reason, let's pay the
whole bill. I'm like, no, we'll cut you up later, right,
you get what I mean. I screwed up, right?
Speaker 2 (06:17):
At least you admitted it, yes, yeah, something like the
people don't want to take accountability right for that, you
know they you know it's I've been there and done
that too.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
You know.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
I had when I was younger, I had to repo
but to the gas station, you know, credit cards cut up,
went to the gas station, pump gas like yeah yeah,
the pump not working.
Speaker 4 (06:41):
Mmmm.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
We had to cut your car like oh wow, yeah wow.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
Being a knucklehead or the person I can blame is myself,
right for my self, you know, not doing things the
right way.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
You know, you live and learn, You live and learn, right.
I think that's the that's the challenge that you know,
how many of us can be honest with ourselves? Correct? Correct?
You get what I mean? Because that's not the easiest
thing to do.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
If you don't take account, you'll always think you can
get away with stuff or slide by, which is going
to hurt you in the loan run once it happens. Okay,
this well, would not do the next time, right, right,
because you never know when that time gonna come up again?
Speaker 1 (07:22):
Right, So when he slapped hard, you know, right? So
I mean so, so let me ask you this, Mike.
I mean, so I know for me, I would see
Let's say, let's say, for whatever reason, the wife would
stash some money, like I'm gonna tell you how bad
my my my issues were. Let's say the wife stashed
(07:44):
some money for whatever reason, and I have found out
about it or I knew about it. I will find
a way to spend it, like that's how bad I was. Wow, Yeah,
I will find a way to spend it and and
so I cannot sit here and say, and the way
to spend it may not have always been on something
(08:04):
that appeared to be incorrect. So let's say, let's say
it's one hundred dollars. All right, you know what, Let's
take the one hundred dollars. You know, this is back
in the day where you can get a hotel room
for cheap, right, you know. So let's say, yo, let's
take the family to Atlantic City. Let's stay overnight.
Speaker 4 (08:24):
Real quick.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Well, was it really in the budget to spend one
hundred dollars? No?
Speaker 4 (08:30):
Right, you get what I mean.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
But in my mind, it's like, hey, the family, we're out,
we're enjoying ourselves. But what I never took into consideration. Yeah,
I took the extra hundred dollars, but the four of
us had to eat, right, So it wasn't just one
hundred dollars, and you had to pay the tolls keep going,
(08:53):
include the gas.
Speaker 4 (08:54):
Gas, you know.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
So so that hundred dollar that I thinking that I
was just spending end up being two hundred and fifty
three hundred, right, that we didn't necessarily budget for. There
you go, right, you know. So, so I just want
to know how many of you are or have been
dealing with the same thing, right, you know what challenges
(09:21):
have y'all been trying to overcome and this is coming
up because of this is just what I've been dealing
with or or I mean, I'm not dealing with it
right this moment, but it's just those things that as
we've been reflecting on all of the things we've been
going through, you know, it's like tag like, you know,
(09:45):
I really see how it's messing up, right, right?
Speaker 4 (09:47):
Do you know what I mean? And I get to
say it out loud?
Speaker 1 (09:50):
Right, like right now is the first time where I'm
actually admitting I had a problem.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
Right once again, you accepting the accountability, right, you know
what you did wrong, what you got to do, do
what you have to do, right. So that's the that's
the one step right there. Some people don't want to
take accountability for things, especially when you're in a relationship
or you know, marriage and all that that word teamwork, right, it's.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
Not me, me, me, me me? Yeah, what can you
do for me when you're certain?
Speaker 2 (10:19):
You know, marriage, teamwork, relationship is teamwork these days you
have to you have to not what's going to happen.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
Right, So you know, and so now you know, I
have to say it out loud just so I can
say it to my kids, right, correct, understood, you know
what I mean? Because I want you because I don't
want them to repeat right exactly, you get what I
mean exactly? You know, because it'll be too easy, right,
(10:50):
you know, And they both have jobs, and you know
we talked to them all the time. Hey, same, Now
they're not the great the greatest, add it? So I
understand like as of right now, because they're still young,
right you know, Hey, you got growing to that a
little bit, you know, accountability like you might buy.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
I mean, there's nothing wrong with treating yourself, but right,
get paid now, STA's a little something inside. Put a side, right,
always know that old classic saying always.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
Save for a rainy day. Well, well, I mean so
so let me ask you this, Mike, I mean, so
for you, right, you know, because again these are these
are I'm gonna give you two scenarios where I was
wasting money that I didn't actually realize. The first one
was go into a Mac machine. Y'all knows I said
mac machine. Going to a Mac machine, not an at
(11:43):
of a Mac machine, but going to a Mac machine
and not realizing that I had extra transaction fees because
it wasn't my bank. Number one right, yeah, number two
was I didn't realize that I was spending anywhere between
fifty team to twenty dollars a day on lunch when
I was going to work. Mm hmm.
Speaker 4 (12:06):
Did I really need to eat that much fruit?
Speaker 1 (12:08):
Dope?
Speaker 4 (12:11):
So why was I doing it?
Speaker 1 (12:12):
You're doing it because you can do it.
Speaker 4 (12:16):
You get what I mean?
Speaker 1 (12:16):
Yeah? Yeah, yeah, you did it because you can do it.
Oh man, I can go to the magmatics. Yeah. But
basically you was.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
It was really fooling yourself, right, Nobody else use for yourself, right,
because like it's like, okay, you was talking to yourself.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
Yeah, we can keep up with your Yeah, why not?
We can do that? Yeah, why not? What's right?
Speaker 2 (12:35):
That's what happened, right, That's what happened. And nobody else
influenced you to do it. No, you did it yourself.
I didn't did the same thing. I did the same
thing Buller feeds. I'm like, dang cool din overdrivet over drift.
Oh my goodness, right right cool? I mean the more
you take out, the more their money they taking from you, right, right,
(12:57):
you know right, But we had to learn the hard way, right,
I had to learn the hard way. That's why you say,
now we teach our kids how to save. But, like
I said, nothing wrong exploring, you know, treating yourself. But
be reasonable, be somewhat economical about the situation, right to
find a sales. Nothing wrong with sales, trust some believe
(13:19):
nothing romer sales. Nothing wrongan clans, trust some belief all that. Oh,
you're just being cheap. I was like, Okay, you spend
four hundred dollars. I only spend two hundred dollars on
the same product. So who's the smart one?
Speaker 4 (13:31):
And here's the thing.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
Now, that four hundred dollars was when it was quote
unquote brand new versus two hundred dollars might have been
a month later. Right soever, I want it now. That's
the problem. I want it now.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
I can't wait. Oh okay, I can wait, right. I
don't get but seven days, right, eight two months? But
I can get it for that price. Oh, I'm gonna
wait right, ain'ty simple? But a lot of people don't
shop like that.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
I'm gonna be hones Like, there are two moments, and
I was temp to talk to my wife about it
over the weekend of just how like like like, for
an example, I can see where if I took my
credit card, now I look at my balance, Yo, I
got seventy five dollars in there available. Now mind you,
(14:22):
that means I'm seventy five dollars from being maxed out. Correct, right, right,
But that's seventy five dollars looking like I want to
order from not just Wings, which is I know is
gonna be sixty five dollars, right, so the car is
not totally maxed out.
Speaker 4 (14:37):
I still got ten dollars.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
Left, right, true? True, But but here's what I don't
Here's what I don't take in consideration the interest fees.
Here you do, the interest are gonna cost more than
a ten dollars and then guess what now I'm over
my limit on my credit card. Right, Those are the
(14:58):
things that I had to deal with. Been there, done it,
you know, And that is why we're bringing it to
y'all today. Like how close to the vest are y'all?
Speaker 3 (15:10):
Like?
Speaker 1 (15:10):
How like you know we listen to all these finance
gururrules and all the other type of stuff, like, Yo,
you need to have at least three months you know
of your living expenses in the bank at least three,
preferably six months. And now I totally agree, because you
never know what's going to happen, like you said, rainy
day stuff, right, But.
Speaker 2 (15:30):
It depends on your lifestyle, depends on your you know,
your finance is a month. Some people can't afford to
put away three months.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
And but see that's the that's the point though, right,
you know, because because let's look at what's going on
right now with everyone losing their job. It's a whole
lot of people losing their job, yeah, you know, and
so when is what is the time frame of them
finding another job? In all honesty, and they feel the
(15:58):
work they used to do, right.
Speaker 4 (16:00):
So they're stuck.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
They're stuck. So so my question is for all those individuals,
all of you that might have lost your job recently, when,
like when is it? Or when will your resources dry up?
And then the banks and everybody else starts to take away.
Speaker 4 (16:21):
All your stuff?
Speaker 1 (16:22):
Right? How about that? Right?
Speaker 4 (16:25):
You get what I mean?
Speaker 1 (16:26):
You know, So, so I get that you need to
have the money, you need to have that resource put away.
But to your point, if I'm already checked to check,
there's no way I can catch up, there's no way, right.
But but I'm but I'm using what I did, spending
money on DVDs that I didn't need to, right, spending
(16:46):
money on lunch way more than what I needed to,
you know, so I didn't need, you know, a fit
because I worked in Center City. I used to love
going to the gallery because.
Speaker 4 (17:01):
Of my job.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
Was like right, right, okay, right, you know, so I
would go, like you said, ready, terminal, yo, I can
give me a pound of chicken wings, grilled chicken wings
right from the amish. It was something like that for
like eight dollars. Well guess what I would do. One
I would eat the whole dog on pound just about
(17:23):
of chicken wings, which doesn't make sense. Then on top
of that, I would have French right. And I'm justifying
it because in my mind, I'm justifying it because I
worked the late shift, right, and so I worked eleven thirty.
Speaker 4 (17:38):
I mean yeah, I worked eleven thirty to eight. That
was my shift. My lunch was at three, three thirty.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
So what would happen is after five six o'clock because
I was in customer service.
Speaker 4 (17:50):
After five six o'clock, ain't nothing.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
Else to do, Ain't nothing else to do, right, gotcha.
So I would just get all that, all that chicken,
and I'd just be tearing it up after, you know,
after everybody left whatever roase, I'll be sitting there the chicken,
bout French fries and bot soda. So so that was
my twenty dollars, you know, because I would get the chicken,
(18:13):
it's eight dollars, I would get French fries, I would
give me two sodas, and then I would give me
a snack, right, got to have the snack, right, So
that that was my fifteen twenty dollars.
Speaker 4 (18:23):
Yeah right, you know. And so but I did that
every day.
Speaker 3 (18:29):
Was it?
Speaker 4 (18:29):
You know? Was it really needed?
Speaker 1 (18:31):
So now when I look at myself and I and
I'm like, dag, I'm just thinkingful, I'm not four hundred pounds,
you get what I mean? Yeah, right right, because that
was a whole lot of food that was packing away.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
Especially down there. You know, my daughter's mom used to
we used together. She'd break down there, you know, Breg
the week you gotta put any breakfast lunch snacks, right,
take him. You're like thirty dollars a day? Yeah, easy, easily, yep, easily, yep.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
That was me on my lean days or days where
I knew I didn't have the money, that's when I
would go to the to the stand. Got you. I
would like, go get me two hot dogs and right,
you know, but that was still eight dollars, still seven
eight you know, seven eight dollars you know, two dogs,
chips and soda, et cetera. Right, right, it was still
anywhere between five and eight dollars. Yeah, you know, you
(19:24):
know so so yeah, I just want to know, have
y'all y'all really taken a look at what your finances
really are? How about this? Right?
Speaker 2 (19:35):
Especially these days, these time and days like you definitely
gotta be sit down and go with your finances.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
Little everything is.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
Going up right and like me, you know, I like
get up and go like three different locations just to
find you know, reasonable price for food.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
Right, and.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
You have to do it now, yeah, you do. You
have to do it. Definitely have to do it. And
it's crazy. It's no, there's no more thing such thing
as one shop shop.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
No, you can't know, you can't because you have to. Now.
I do understand that there are some places where some
of the food may be fresher than others, correct, I
do understand that, right, But otherwise, like like if because
we're not in the city, we may not run into
it as hard as some of the other.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
And that is certain locations they price they are kind
of price gouging.
Speaker 4 (20:35):
They are they are they taking advantage? Yeah, so.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
I mean, let's be honest. I mean, I can't blame them,
per se, I can't, I under I mean again, if so,
if I look at it from the business side, you're
gonna try to get every little penny.
Speaker 2 (20:50):
You can because it's costing you, right, Yeah, because it's cost.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
You know, because because just how much is it going
to cost, especially if everybody's gearing up for these arrows
and stuff, right, So I gotta find a way that
still had the money coming.
Speaker 4 (21:04):
In, correct, you know? So yeah, I mean especially I
can't be.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
Mad because basically it just shrinkled down to the right.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
And but that's what they say is gonna happen anyway.
It's going to happen, right, you know. But even with that, so,
how can I pay my bills if I lost my job?
Now I have a choice? Am I gonna eat? Am
I gonna pay my bills? How about that? Especially your family?
Speaker 4 (21:31):
Right dude? What are you supposed to do?
Speaker 1 (21:34):
What are you supposed to do?
Speaker 4 (21:36):
What do you you know?
Speaker 1 (21:37):
So, so, yeah, y'all, I just want to know what
your thoughts are. Yeah, I mean, this this is not
a This is a typical, a real conversation that the
neighbors need to have, right in all honestly, because.
Speaker 4 (21:54):
Again, it affects our community.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
It does what it does basically do what would you
do for some right? Seriously, what would you do?
Speaker 4 (22:04):
I mean? And so I think.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
Like where we are, where Mike and I are, I mean,
it's a it's a group of us that talk on
a rather regular basis, you know what I mean, you know,
And and I think that even the people that that's
across the street from us or whatever, like, if we
really had to come together, I think it would be
a group of us that could We might not always,
might not speak all the time, right, but I think
(22:28):
that if there was an issue, we would we would
we would, we would. And it's not and that's not
always easily found, exactly, it's not, you know. And so
so I mean I appreciate whe where I'm at. Likewise,
you know, I appreciate it, you know, I mean, I
just don't like the street itself. But I don't.
Speaker 4 (22:49):
But I don't have a problem with the neighbors at all,
you know.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
So so because we live on this hill and yeah,
it's a whole lot of other you know, craziness with it.
You know, we feel like we we're on a river,
you know. So that's why I said, so, it's not
it's not the neighbors. It is the other environmental issues
(23:12):
that we made as well, you know. But you know,
but I thank y'all very much for listening today.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
Appreciate it, and you know, let us know what your
situation was and what would you do.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
Feel free reach out to us right Instagram, Facebook, Twitter,
Thank you cause you email. It's all good. It's all good.
But yo, y'all, we thank y'all for listening. We should
appreciate it.
Speaker 3 (23:42):
Peace, Peace, Thanks for hanging out with us on the
Neighbors Podcast. We hope you enjoyed the conversation and felt
right at home. If you like what you heard, don't
be a stranger, subscribe, leave us a review and share
this with your friends and family. Got something on your
mind or a topic you'd love to hear us talk about.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
Hit us up.
Speaker 3 (24:04):
Until next time. Remember we're all just neighbors working together
for a better community. Stay safe, stay connected, and we'll
catch you in the next one.
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