April 11, 2025 • 22 mins
In this episode of The Naybors Podcast, we’re getting into the heartbeat of every strong relationship—communication. From missed signals to silent expectations, we explore the lessons we’ve learned (and are still learning) about how to talk with each other, not at each other. We discuss:
- The difference between hearing and listening
- How unspoken assumptions create unnecessary tension
- Tools we use to communicate better as partners, parents, and people of faith
- Why saying “what you mean” doesn't mean being mean
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, y'all, this is your your friendly neighborhood individuals. But
we want to know are y'all having or have you
noticed any challenges with your your spaces of communication. We'll
talk about a little bit more after this. Danny, it's
(00:20):
the Neighbors podcast with recent Mike.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
They discussing different issues that affect up treating like that.
It's the Neighbors Way, the Neighbors.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
Yeah, yeah, your your top of the morning coop.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
So we're talking about communication m hm.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
And here's the reason why I'm bringing it up once again,
we're bringing up real life scenarios.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
And situations, yes, sir. And so because of this.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
Michael Jackson cleaning out the closet mentality, Well Michael jacks.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
I mean because his because his thing was keep it
in the closet. That was so remember.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
I'm trying to clean out the closet, right, you know.
So and uh so, so I'm cleaning out the closet
because I think it's time to level up to another place,
right and so, so I've been really really focusing on
(01:33):
communication and being honest, open and honest in that communication.
But I think when the challenges have been how can
you be open and honest. I mean, I'm just coming
again my own baggage, right, And in a relationship, if
(01:57):
you're dating someone, you can't tell everybody everything.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
Nah, not yet.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
But here's what I figured out for myself because I
agree with that. Right, No, not yet, whatever it is.
But even if you are with that person for a while,
sometimes those conversations don't come back up, right or even
in those situations, Am I really going to tell everybody
(02:26):
everything if it's going to hurt them?
Speaker 3 (02:30):
And honestly, no, I mean something, you know what, certain
things you might have the sugar coated you know, like
tell a little slight white line not to hurt their feelings, right, right,
you know, right, like you know I try to be
honest as well, and you know I'm too old to
(02:52):
be of blah blah blah blah blah, you know, right, yeah,
because you always want somebody to be honest with you.
But depending on the situation, on the subject, whatever it is,
you might have to keep like to tell a slight
white lie just to keep the air kind of clean.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
Right, Yeah, you know you might have that well you know,
I mean, you know what do is do that? But
you know that three letter word?
Speaker 3 (03:18):
But right, then you try to break it down to
them the right way without hurting their feelings.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
Sometimes they can take that.
Speaker 3 (03:31):
They're like, oh, well, you you being kind of harsh,
but you asked me my honest opinion. Try to give
it to you, and obviously it's not gonna work. So
that's when you try to change the subject or try
to fade, you know, fade it out. So depends on
the individuals.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
I mean, I just know that because I always used
to say to the wife, yo, you know, it feels
like you're not telling me everything, Like I like, something's missing, right.
I would say that to her a lot, and and
so she was like, no, Maries, I'm telling you everything.
(04:09):
It would hurt her feelings and all that stuff. And
then you know, you start looking at I mean, and
I just use today's technology, YouTube and stuff, right, so
you look at today's you know, relationship gurus or whatever
else talking about hey, let's talk or whatever else, but
no one wants to be honest and open and don't
want to tell everything all that type of stuff. But
(04:31):
then I started really thinking, seriously, well, Maries, what about you?
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Have you told everything right? How about that right? You know?
Speaker 1 (04:40):
And a lot of times we get caught in pointing
fingers right instead of looking at ourselves in the mirror
right right right, you know Michael Jackson theme today hunh
you know you know so so how can you or
(05:03):
have you had an opportunity to sit back and say,
you know what, let me be honest to my significant
other that I might like like I might have told
this story, but are there some other details it that
I didn't say before?
Speaker 2 (05:24):
So have you ever found yourself in that position quite.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
A few times and it's like, Okay, you want to
say talk about it, but you don't want to get
deep into it, but you don't know what the outcome.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
May be.
Speaker 3 (05:38):
The reason why I say that because the way they
you know, they're expressing themselves. They're looking at you like, okay,
what are you not really telling me? I think it's
more to it, right, But that's when you pull back
because you don't want to know in a monstery or
any any drama behind that, you know, Yeah, and that's
(06:00):
why you're like, okay, you know, blah blah blah. But
then he goes sometimes you might have come out, you know,
I don't think this is the right time to talk
about this. What's to talk about something else, which hopefully
they don't your significant other, don't harp on it where
I'm gonna talk about it. There's no time when you're ready,
you're ready. You know, you're not just gonna come out
(06:22):
spend your guts because you know, you're trying to keep
the air clean once again, you know, not to hurt
that person's feelings. But you know, and sometimes also with
that uh security you know, I'm not saying you know
you're insecure and all that, but you know the slight
(06:43):
security your relationship as well. I totally agree, you know,
and you're not trying to, like I said, start any
drama and all that. You just want to, you know,
tell that person's shore. You know what's really going on
bothering you. But these days you're not really go go
(07:03):
full pledge on telling what's going on bits and pieces,
bits and pieces. Only when you're telling them when you're ready,
you're ready, and hopefully you don't keep all your when
you gonna talk about, oh we're gonna do, please don't
be asking me because that's gonna make me pushed back.
I mean, pull back now, push back, pull back, and
I'm just going to drag it along right, you know.
(07:26):
I know communications is a big factor. It's important, but
sometimes you're not ready to really go full pledge on
this whatever the scenario is.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
So and.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
I know for myself, yeah, there's some things that I
did pull back on to not hurt, right, But then
there were are but but it went two ways, right exactly,
because I can't. Am I really going to tell you
about a past relationship, you know, because.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
I mean and for me, there were certain.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
Characteristics I guess I had that people kept telling me
more than once you get what I mean, and so.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
So basically they've just shown you what your red flags were,
but you wasn't acknowledging that.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
Right and so so so here's the thing, So how
am I and I don't deal with it?
Speaker 2 (08:40):
Right?
Speaker 1 (08:41):
So but subconsciously I am insecure or whatever it is
because of whatever my past was, and I'm taking to
the next relationship all that stuff not realizing that I'm
doing the exact same thing all over again.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
So I'm gonna tell you. I'll give you one idea.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
So, because of my own insecurity, I might have inadvertently
push someone into someone else's arms inadvertent got you understood, right,
you know? So so if you have a girlfriend and
they have a you know, sometimes you don't realize that
(09:22):
they have they do have a life.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
Before you correct, correct.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
And so but then they have this male friend. Right,
all of us guys have been somebody's you know, some
young lady's friend at some point in time, you know.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
But you know, and that girl was just your good
your friends. She was your homie. Right.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
But you know, now you got me who come along?
Who sees this relationship? I'm insecure about the relationship, right,
And so now I am like, I'm looking at how
y'all interact. Oh wow, y'all got inside secrets that you
and I don't have. Y'all have communication that you and
(10:04):
I don't have, right, you know, little cold words and
all this type of stuff. So where's my cold word at? Like,
where's what you you know what I mean? You know?
Speaker 2 (10:13):
So now it's like, how do I deal with that? So?
And now when we're at home chilling.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
And you're you know, laying on my shoulder or whatever else,
I'm saying, well, what was that all about earlier today?
Speaker 2 (10:31):
What was it all about? Three days ago? Marie?
Speaker 1 (10:34):
Is what you're talking about? That was three days ago? Yeah,
I've been holding on to it. I've been waiting for
the right time. I guess it's the right time right now. Well, Maurice,
is not the right time, first of all, because I'm
sitting here, chilling, about to go to sleep.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
You interrupted me of my peace, ye right, you know?
Speaker 1 (10:49):
And now you're bringing this up. Now, guess what we
gotta do. We gotta turn on all the lights. I
gotta be able to.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
See you so you can see me, see U see
you know whatever? Right, you know?
Speaker 1 (11:01):
And now we had this, We're having this conversation about
what Yo, that's just my homie. I don't see him
like that. But now, because of my insecurity, I'm saying, well,
do y'all realize y'all had this? Did you see your
face when you did that? Did you see how he
looked at you when you got up? Did you you
(11:21):
know you asked him how you look? Well, how do
you think I think you look?
Speaker 2 (11:25):
You know whatever? Right? You know?
Speaker 1 (11:26):
So and then in her quiet time, she's like evaluating
what I said. Do I really like him? Do I
really like you know? My best friend? You know what
we do have? And now now they're on the phone.
(11:47):
Now they talk because they were already best friends. They
were all cool friends. Now they're on to you know,
now they're talking.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
What is that?
Speaker 1 (11:55):
What's that real outcome? So did I inadvertently push her?
And someone else got you?
Speaker 3 (12:03):
Because sometimes, you know, sometimes people can't feel like they
can't talk to you about certain things. They can talk
to these friends about a certain things. How you're going
to react he or she, you know, it could be
a little slight insecurity. But also that's when maturity plays
a factor. Yeah, I wasn't mature at all, especially when
(12:27):
she told you you met, you met the person, the
friends and all that.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
Okay, cool, you know, but like you said, she had
a life before you.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
Well, and here's the thing though, here's the thing, Like
I remember vividly ex girlfriend, she uh, there was this
guy that he wasn't into her, but he's a player
around flirt with her, and I knew who he was,
(12:56):
he knew of me or whatever else. And I remember
this specifically, this one time we were walking down the street.
I forgot what was going on, but it was a
whole bunch of us together and he was around like
it was a whole group of everybody, right, but she
and I walking, He's walking in front of us, and
she says, looking at bow legged, you know, he's really
(13:17):
really bowl laked or something on those lines. And she's like,
you know what they say about bull legging men.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
What the heck? Am how am I supposed to respond
to that? Right? You get what I mean? So now
I'm like, well, I ain't bow legged.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
I don't know what that means, right, you know, And
so now I got to go back into my own memory,
being like, are you serious?
Speaker 2 (13:40):
Is that what you're saying?
Speaker 1 (13:40):
Like, so, are you fantasizing being with this bull because
he's bow legged? You get what I'm saying, you know,
and so, but you're saying it to me. So if
I question you on it, you know, and I say
something to you, am I really pushing you into that
person's arms?
Speaker 2 (13:59):
That was the explanations for me, you know. So basically
you kept using that as an excuse, right right, you know,
so it's like, you know, like you really like him
like that?
Speaker 3 (14:10):
I mean, yeah, because she could be saying to you
as a joke, but you took it to another level. Yeah,
I know, see with me, you don't say that. I
was like, well, you know about man, I throw punches,
I throw that boo marine back at you.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
But again, I mean, we're so and let's be honest.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
Though we were kids, we were kids, like, it's not
like we're adults, you know, Like you said, I could
I have the gift now, like you know, I could
find a way to say something back. But at that
particular time, I didn't know, right, you know, And I
was already insecure because I had already been chubby all
my life, just starting to find.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Out, you know whatever.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
And so so I have the chubby kid insecurity stuff
going and so I'm just thankful that I got a girl. Hey,
you get what I mean, you know. And so so
now what am I supposed to do? How am I
(15:16):
supposed to react or feel about it? And that that
and that was my challenge. That was my challenge. How
you know what am I supposed to say to you?
You know what you're saying that? And anytime you got
something to say, I'm like, I know you think about
that ball got you? You kept harping on it, right, right,
And so because of my insecurity, you know, So do
(15:39):
we find ourselves in moments of insecurity where we keep
harping like as you stated, we keep harping on it,
Where am I actually pushing you into that person's arms?
Speaker 3 (15:51):
I mean, you know what that situation be go either way, right,
be honest, right, especially how that person how they feel
about you, and you know the other person as well,
But it can go either way.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
It's an unbalanced scale, I mean. And so now.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
Later on you find out you you you tested the waters, right,
and on top of that, you tested the waters and
he might have been a little more because again I
grew up in the church, so I wasn't I was
street smart by growing up in West Philly, but I
wasn't all the way street smart, you know what I mean,
(16:33):
because I wasn't hanging.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
On the street, gotcha, right, right right.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
I knew of it, of it, right, but I wasn't
in it, gotcha, you know.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
You know.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
So you know, so I think that that also that
bad boy mentality.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
Yeah, you know. So we've all been through that, cool, you.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
Know, and so some girls really gravitate to that. This
is true to this day, right to this day.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
You know.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
So, So just because I'm quiet doesn't mean that you'll
push over, right, gotcha? Yeah right, you know. So, so
I think that's that's the thing, you know about communication,
sometimes do we do we talk too much?
Speaker 2 (17:17):
Do we not say enough? You know? Are we leaving
key elements out? You know? And are we even being
honest with ourselves in that.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
Level of communication saying hey, you know what, No, I
have some real insecurities that I really need to deal with.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
Understood, understood.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
I mean, especially now we're seeing on social media people
people you know, people might aid they'd rather communicate on Facebook,
but they the communicate with that person, right, don't really
pick up the phone blah blah blah blah, but a
general conversation nor why I.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
Don't know, it's crazy why.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
I mean, it seemed like, I mean, it's a cross
the board to me, I don't care who it is. More,
is way more people that will want to text then
talk exactly talk to me, talk like like no, no, no,
I don't want to play that game because because here's
the reality. If you're texting me, I don't really know
(18:21):
your tone of voice.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
I don't know how hype or excited you really are
in the situation. There you go.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
So, so if you text me nine one one, is
it really an emergency?
Speaker 2 (18:33):
Right? So? Is an emergency or is it just urgent?
Speaker 3 (18:36):
If it's an emergency, you'll pick up the phone and
call the person you.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
Would think you would think, you know, is an emergency?
Is it urgent? Or is it just because it was
important to you at that moment? How about that? Because
then none of the is none of the other two.
How about that? It's like you got to fill out
the options.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
Right, you know, because everything is not an emergency, everything
is not urgent. And so I need you, I need
to talk to you, right and then hear what you
got to say and now realize now you getting cut
for today because that that was not important exactly, that
was not you know, so so I really want to
(19:17):
know what your thoughts are on you know, communication, right?
Speaker 2 (19:22):
How important is communication to you? Right?
Speaker 1 (19:24):
Right?
Speaker 3 (19:25):
Do you can't account once again that work accountability for things,
you know, go either way. It's a little bit two
way street. One ways a two way street. You gotta
see that stop sign, I mean stop, not right not
Roan stopped doing the Martin. I think that's the I
(19:46):
think that's the difference, man, that's the difference that sir.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
You know, we have to understand what's what's what's really
going on, especially when you're in a relationship. The deep relationship, marriage,
whatever the situation may be.
Speaker 3 (19:58):
Yeah, I always say, you know, the old classes saying
communication is the key, but certain people still lack the communication.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
Oh yeah, most definitely, you know.
Speaker 3 (20:07):
And that's always going to be like that, Yeah, always,
no matter what age you are, it's gonna be like that.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
Oh yeah, it will be so. And I think that's
I think that's what we need to be again, honest
with ourselves. Honest with ourselves.
Speaker 3 (20:21):
That's where that's where it starts at, right, that's where
it starts at. So if you're not honest with yourself,
so what you think is going to happen?
Speaker 1 (20:30):
Yeah, But I think that's something again, like we talked about,
you know, with finances or anything else.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
Right, you know a lot of times we're not taught
to be honest. No we're not. We're not. We're not
always taught to be honest.
Speaker 3 (20:42):
But do you think it goes when you get older, mature,
especially when you get tired, you get a certain name,
you get.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
Tired in line and all that.
Speaker 3 (20:51):
That's too much work, man, you would think, yeah, you
would think you would think some people do that as
a part time job just to get over.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
I'm like, come on, right, come on.
Speaker 3 (21:00):
But the thing is, you keep lying. You know, basically
you're really you're short changing yourself. Yeah, you short change
yourself on the positive channel. Stick them to the negative channel.
It's easy to get away with on the negative channel.
Just be real listening positive channel. Oh man, it's too
much to w I ain't got time, but you got
time to byes though, Yeah you do, so what the
problem is?
Speaker 2 (21:21):
Right? Boom right? Yo, y'all you heard the mic drop right, yes.
Speaker 3 (21:27):
Sir, well you should something explode, but yeah, we'll do this.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
Vega vega very much appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
But y'all, y'all, We thank y'all very much for listening today. Yes, sir,
stay cool and we'll talk to you a little later.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
Pace. Thanks for hanging out with us on the Neighbors Podcast.
We hope you enjoyed the conversation and felt right at home.
If you like what you heard, don't be a stranger. Subscribe,
leave it to review, and share this with your friends
and fam. Got something on your mind or a topic
you'd love to hear us talk about. Hit us up
(22:08):
until next time. Remember we're all just neighbors working together
for a better community.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
Stay safe, stay connected, and We'll catch you in the
next one.
Hey, y'all, this is your your friendly neighborhood individuals. But
we want to know are y'all having or have you
noticed any challenges with your your spaces of communication. We'll
talk about a little bit more after this. Danny, it's
(00:20):
the Neighbors podcast with recent Mike.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
They discussing different issues that affect up treating like that.
It's the Neighbors Way, the Neighbors.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
Yeah, yeah, your your top of the morning coop.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
So we're talking about communication m hm.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
And here's the reason why I'm bringing it up once again,
we're bringing up real life scenarios.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
And situations, yes, sir. And so because of this.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
Michael Jackson cleaning out the closet mentality, Well Michael jacks.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
I mean because his because his thing was keep it
in the closet. That was so remember.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
I'm trying to clean out the closet, right, you know.
So and uh so, so I'm cleaning out the closet
because I think it's time to level up to another place,
right and so, so I've been really really focusing on
(01:33):
communication and being honest, open and honest in that communication.
But I think when the challenges have been how can
you be open and honest. I mean, I'm just coming
again my own baggage, right, And in a relationship, if
(01:57):
you're dating someone, you can't tell everybody everything.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
Nah, not yet.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
But here's what I figured out for myself because I
agree with that. Right, No, not yet, whatever it is.
But even if you are with that person for a while,
sometimes those conversations don't come back up, right or even
in those situations, Am I really going to tell everybody
(02:26):
everything if it's going to hurt them?
Speaker 3 (02:30):
And honestly, no, I mean something, you know what, certain
things you might have the sugar coated you know, like
tell a little slight white line not to hurt their feelings, right, right,
you know, right, like you know I try to be
honest as well, and you know I'm too old to
(02:52):
be of blah blah blah blah blah, you know, right, yeah,
because you always want somebody to be honest with you.
But depending on the situation, on the subject, whatever it is,
you might have to keep like to tell a slight
white lie just to keep the air kind of clean.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
Right, Yeah, you know you might have that well you know,
I mean, you know what do is do that? But
you know that three letter word?
Speaker 3 (03:18):
But right, then you try to break it down to
them the right way without hurting their feelings.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
Sometimes they can take that.
Speaker 3 (03:31):
They're like, oh, well, you you being kind of harsh,
but you asked me my honest opinion. Try to give
it to you, and obviously it's not gonna work. So
that's when you try to change the subject or try
to fade, you know, fade it out. So depends on
the individuals.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
I mean, I just know that because I always used
to say to the wife, yo, you know, it feels
like you're not telling me everything, Like I like, something's missing, right.
I would say that to her a lot, and and
so she was like, no, Maries, I'm telling you everything.
(04:09):
It would hurt her feelings and all that stuff. And
then you know, you start looking at I mean, and
I just use today's technology, YouTube and stuff, right, so
you look at today's you know, relationship gurus or whatever
else talking about hey, let's talk or whatever else, but
no one wants to be honest and open and don't
want to tell everything all that type of stuff. But
(04:31):
then I started really thinking, seriously, well, Maries, what about you?
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Have you told everything right? How about that right? You know?
Speaker 1 (04:40):
And a lot of times we get caught in pointing
fingers right instead of looking at ourselves in the mirror
right right right, you know Michael Jackson theme today hunh
you know you know so so how can you or
(05:03):
have you had an opportunity to sit back and say,
you know what, let me be honest to my significant
other that I might like like I might have told
this story, but are there some other details it that
I didn't say before?
Speaker 2 (05:24):
So have you ever found yourself in that position quite.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
A few times and it's like, Okay, you want to
say talk about it, but you don't want to get
deep into it, but you don't know what the outcome.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
May be.
Speaker 3 (05:38):
The reason why I say that because the way they
you know, they're expressing themselves. They're looking at you like, okay,
what are you not really telling me? I think it's
more to it, right, But that's when you pull back
because you don't want to know in a monstery or
any any drama behind that, you know, Yeah, and that's
(06:00):
why you're like, okay, you know, blah blah blah. But
then he goes sometimes you might have come out, you know,
I don't think this is the right time to talk
about this. What's to talk about something else, which hopefully
they don't your significant other, don't harp on it where
I'm gonna talk about it. There's no time when you're ready,
you're ready. You know, you're not just gonna come out
(06:22):
spend your guts because you know, you're trying to keep
the air clean once again, you know, not to hurt
that person's feelings. But you know, and sometimes also with
that uh security you know, I'm not saying you know
you're insecure and all that, but you know the slight
(06:43):
security your relationship as well. I totally agree, you know,
and you're not trying to, like I said, start any
drama and all that. You just want to, you know,
tell that person's shore. You know what's really going on
bothering you. But these days you're not really go go
(07:03):
full pledge on telling what's going on bits and pieces,
bits and pieces. Only when you're telling them when you're ready,
you're ready, and hopefully you don't keep all your when
you gonna talk about, oh we're gonna do, please don't
be asking me because that's gonna make me pushed back.
I mean, pull back now, push back, pull back, and
I'm just going to drag it along right, you know.
(07:26):
I know communications is a big factor. It's important, but
sometimes you're not ready to really go full pledge on
this whatever the scenario is.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
So and.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
I know for myself, yeah, there's some things that I
did pull back on to not hurt, right, But then
there were are but but it went two ways, right exactly,
because I can't. Am I really going to tell you
about a past relationship, you know, because.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
I mean and for me, there were certain.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
Characteristics I guess I had that people kept telling me
more than once you get what I mean, and so.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
So basically they've just shown you what your red flags were,
but you wasn't acknowledging that.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
Right and so so so here's the thing, So how
am I and I don't deal with it?
Speaker 2 (08:40):
Right?
Speaker 1 (08:41):
So but subconsciously I am insecure or whatever it is
because of whatever my past was, and I'm taking to
the next relationship all that stuff not realizing that I'm
doing the exact same thing all over again.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
So I'm gonna tell you. I'll give you one idea.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
So, because of my own insecurity, I might have inadvertently
push someone into someone else's arms inadvertent got you understood, right,
you know? So so if you have a girlfriend and
they have a you know, sometimes you don't realize that
(09:22):
they have they do have a life.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
Before you correct, correct.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
And so but then they have this male friend. Right,
all of us guys have been somebody's you know, some
young lady's friend at some point in time, you know.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
But you know, and that girl was just your good
your friends. She was your homie. Right.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
But you know, now you got me who come along?
Who sees this relationship? I'm insecure about the relationship, right,
And so now I am like, I'm looking at how
y'all interact. Oh wow, y'all got inside secrets that you
and I don't have. Y'all have communication that you and
(10:04):
I don't have, right, you know, little cold words and
all this type of stuff. So where's my cold word at? Like,
where's what you you know what I mean? You know?
Speaker 2 (10:13):
So now it's like, how do I deal with that? So?
And now when we're at home chilling.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
And you're you know, laying on my shoulder or whatever else,
I'm saying, well, what was that all about earlier today?
Speaker 2 (10:31):
What was it all about? Three days ago? Marie?
Speaker 1 (10:34):
Is what you're talking about? That was three days ago? Yeah,
I've been holding on to it. I've been waiting for
the right time. I guess it's the right time right now. Well, Maurice,
is not the right time, first of all, because I'm
sitting here, chilling, about to go to sleep.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
You interrupted me of my peace, ye right, you know?
Speaker 1 (10:49):
And now you're bringing this up. Now, guess what we
gotta do. We gotta turn on all the lights. I
gotta be able to.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
See you so you can see me, see U see
you know whatever? Right, you know?
Speaker 1 (11:01):
And now we had this, We're having this conversation about
what Yo, that's just my homie. I don't see him
like that. But now, because of my insecurity, I'm saying, well,
do y'all realize y'all had this? Did you see your
face when you did that? Did you see how he
looked at you when you got up? Did you you
(11:21):
know you asked him how you look? Well, how do
you think I think you look?
Speaker 2 (11:25):
You know whatever? Right? You know?
Speaker 1 (11:26):
So and then in her quiet time, she's like evaluating
what I said. Do I really like him? Do I
really like you know? My best friend? You know what
we do have? And now now they're on the phone.
(11:47):
Now they talk because they were already best friends. They
were all cool friends. Now they're on to you know,
now they're talking.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
What is that?
Speaker 1 (11:55):
What's that real outcome? So did I inadvertently push her?
And someone else got you?
Speaker 3 (12:03):
Because sometimes, you know, sometimes people can't feel like they
can't talk to you about certain things. They can talk
to these friends about a certain things. How you're going
to react he or she, you know, it could be
a little slight insecurity. But also that's when maturity plays
a factor. Yeah, I wasn't mature at all, especially when
(12:27):
she told you you met, you met the person, the
friends and all that.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
Okay, cool, you know, but like you said, she had
a life before you.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
Well, and here's the thing though, here's the thing, Like
I remember vividly ex girlfriend, she uh, there was this
guy that he wasn't into her, but he's a player
around flirt with her, and I knew who he was,
(12:56):
he knew of me or whatever else. And I remember
this specifically, this one time we were walking down the street.
I forgot what was going on, but it was a
whole bunch of us together and he was around like
it was a whole group of everybody, right, but she
and I walking, He's walking in front of us, and
she says, looking at bow legged, you know, he's really
(13:17):
really bowl laked or something on those lines. And she's like,
you know what they say about bull legging men.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
What the heck? Am how am I supposed to respond
to that? Right? You get what I mean? So now
I'm like, well, I ain't bow legged.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
I don't know what that means, right, you know, And
so now I got to go back into my own memory,
being like, are you serious?
Speaker 2 (13:40):
Is that what you're saying?
Speaker 1 (13:40):
Like, so, are you fantasizing being with this bull because
he's bow legged? You get what I'm saying, you know,
and so, but you're saying it to me. So if
I question you on it, you know, and I say
something to you, am I really pushing you into that
person's arms?
Speaker 2 (13:59):
That was the explanations for me, you know. So basically
you kept using that as an excuse, right right, you know,
so it's like, you know, like you really like him
like that?
Speaker 3 (14:10):
I mean, yeah, because she could be saying to you
as a joke, but you took it to another level. Yeah,
I know, see with me, you don't say that. I
was like, well, you know about man, I throw punches,
I throw that boo marine back at you.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
But again, I mean, we're so and let's be honest.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
Though we were kids, we were kids, like, it's not
like we're adults, you know, Like you said, I could
I have the gift now, like you know, I could
find a way to say something back. But at that
particular time, I didn't know, right, you know, And I
was already insecure because I had already been chubby all
my life, just starting to find.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Out, you know whatever.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
And so so I have the chubby kid insecurity stuff
going and so I'm just thankful that I got a girl. Hey,
you get what I mean, you know. And so so
now what am I supposed to do? How am I
(15:16):
supposed to react or feel about it? And that that
and that was my challenge. That was my challenge. How
you know what am I supposed to say to you?
You know what you're saying that? And anytime you got
something to say, I'm like, I know you think about
that ball got you? You kept harping on it, right, right,
And so because of my insecurity, you know, So do
(15:39):
we find ourselves in moments of insecurity where we keep
harping like as you stated, we keep harping on it,
Where am I actually pushing you into that person's arms?
Speaker 3 (15:51):
I mean, you know what that situation be go either way, right,
be honest, right, especially how that person how they feel
about you, and you know the other person as well,
But it can go either way.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
It's an unbalanced scale, I mean. And so now.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
Later on you find out you you you tested the waters, right,
and on top of that, you tested the waters and
he might have been a little more because again I
grew up in the church, so I wasn't I was
street smart by growing up in West Philly, but I
wasn't all the way street smart, you know what I mean,
(16:33):
because I wasn't hanging.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
On the street, gotcha, right, right right.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
I knew of it, of it, right, but I wasn't
in it, gotcha, you know.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
You know.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
So you know, so I think that that also that
bad boy mentality.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
Yeah, you know. So we've all been through that, cool, you.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
Know, and so some girls really gravitate to that. This
is true to this day, right to this day.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
You know.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
So, So just because I'm quiet doesn't mean that you'll
push over, right, gotcha? Yeah right, you know. So, so
I think that's that's the thing, you know about communication,
sometimes do we do we talk too much?
Speaker 2 (17:17):
Do we not say enough? You know? Are we leaving
key elements out? You know? And are we even being
honest with ourselves in that.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
Level of communication saying hey, you know what, No, I
have some real insecurities that I really need to deal with.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
Understood, understood.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
I mean, especially now we're seeing on social media people
people you know, people might aid they'd rather communicate on Facebook,
but they the communicate with that person, right, don't really
pick up the phone blah blah blah blah, but a
general conversation nor why I.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
Don't know, it's crazy why.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
I mean, it seemed like, I mean, it's a cross
the board to me, I don't care who it is. More,
is way more people that will want to text then
talk exactly talk to me, talk like like no, no, no,
I don't want to play that game because because here's
the reality. If you're texting me, I don't really know
(18:21):
your tone of voice.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
I don't know how hype or excited you really are
in the situation. There you go.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
So, so if you text me nine one one, is
it really an emergency?
Speaker 2 (18:33):
Right? So? Is an emergency or is it just urgent?
Speaker 3 (18:36):
If it's an emergency, you'll pick up the phone and
call the person you.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
Would think you would think, you know, is an emergency?
Is it urgent? Or is it just because it was
important to you at that moment? How about that? Because
then none of the is none of the other two.
How about that? It's like you got to fill out
the options.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
Right, you know, because everything is not an emergency, everything
is not urgent. And so I need you, I need
to talk to you, right and then hear what you
got to say and now realize now you getting cut
for today because that that was not important exactly, that
was not you know, so so I really want to
(19:17):
know what your thoughts are on you know, communication, right?
Speaker 2 (19:22):
How important is communication to you? Right?
Speaker 1 (19:24):
Right?
Speaker 3 (19:25):
Do you can't account once again that work accountability for things,
you know, go either way. It's a little bit two
way street. One ways a two way street. You gotta
see that stop sign, I mean stop, not right not
Roan stopped doing the Martin. I think that's the I
(19:46):
think that's the difference, man, that's the difference that sir.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
You know, we have to understand what's what's what's really
going on, especially when you're in a relationship. The deep relationship, marriage,
whatever the situation may be.
Speaker 3 (19:58):
Yeah, I always say, you know, the old classes saying
communication is the key, but certain people still lack the communication.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
Oh yeah, most definitely, you know.
Speaker 3 (20:07):
And that's always going to be like that, Yeah, always,
no matter what age you are, it's gonna be like that.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
Oh yeah, it will be so. And I think that's
I think that's what we need to be again, honest
with ourselves. Honest with ourselves.
Speaker 3 (20:21):
That's where that's where it starts at, right, that's where
it starts at. So if you're not honest with yourself,
so what you think is going to happen?
Speaker 1 (20:30):
Yeah, But I think that's something again, like we talked about,
you know, with finances or anything else.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
Right, you know a lot of times we're not taught
to be honest. No we're not. We're not. We're not
always taught to be honest.
Speaker 3 (20:42):
But do you think it goes when you get older, mature,
especially when you get tired, you get a certain name,
you get.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
Tired in line and all that.
Speaker 3 (20:51):
That's too much work, man, you would think, yeah, you
would think you would think some people do that as
a part time job just to get over.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
I'm like, come on, right, come on.
Speaker 3 (21:00):
But the thing is, you keep lying. You know, basically
you're really you're short changing yourself. Yeah, you short change
yourself on the positive channel. Stick them to the negative channel.
It's easy to get away with on the negative channel.
Just be real listening positive channel. Oh man, it's too
much to w I ain't got time, but you got
time to byes though, Yeah you do, so what the
problem is?
Speaker 2 (21:21):
Right? Boom right? Yo, y'all you heard the mic drop right, yes.
Speaker 3 (21:27):
Sir, well you should something explode, but yeah, we'll do this.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
Vega vega very much appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
But y'all, y'all, We thank y'all very much for listening today. Yes, sir,
stay cool and we'll talk to you a little later.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
Pace. Thanks for hanging out with us on the Neighbors Podcast.
We hope you enjoyed the conversation and felt right at home.
If you like what you heard, don't be a stranger. Subscribe,
leave it to review, and share this with your friends
and fam. Got something on your mind or a topic
you'd love to hear us talk about. Hit us up
(22:08):
until next time. Remember we're all just neighbors working together
for a better community.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
Stay safe, stay connected, and We'll catch you in the
next one.
Popular Podcasts
CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist
It’s 1996 in rural North Carolina, and an oddball crew makes history when they pull off America’s third largest cash heist. But it’s all downhill from there. Join host Johnny Knoxville as he unspools a wild and woolly tale about a group of regular ‘ol folks who risked it all for a chance at a better life. CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist answers the question: what would you do with 17.3 million dollars? The answer includes diamond rings, mansions, velvet Elvis paintings, plus a run for the border, murder-for-hire-plots, and FBI busts.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.