April 18, 2025 • 26 mins
In this heartfelt episode of The Naybors Podcast, we tackle a topic most folks avoid but every family will eventually face—funeral preparations. From navigating the emotional weight to making practical decisions, we open up about the importance of planning ahead and having the tough conversations before crisis hits. We explore:
- Why it’s an act of love to prepare early
- The emotional and financial impact of last-minute decisions
- How culture, faith, and family traditions shape our views on funerals
- The steps we’ve taken (and still need to take) in our own family
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Yo, yo yo. So I have a question for y'all.
How much do y'all have sitting around waiting for you
when it is time to uh go on? Like, do
y'all have to do fish dinners? Do y'all have to
do a gun go fund me if your loved ones
(00:20):
pass away? Let's talk about it in a minute, Danny,
it's the Neighbors podcast, will be some Mike. They discausing
different issues that affect up treating like that.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
It's the Neighbors.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Wait, the Neighbors. Yeah, you what's up? What's up? Top
of the morning, Good morning, Good morning. So as you
heard talking about fish dinners and and go fundmes and
things like that, because some of us are not really
(00:55):
planning right, you know, for our loved ones after we die. Right,
I'm gonna get y'all the reason why I'm asked or
I'm saying this to y'all. It is still the top
of twenty twenty five. And I know me personally, I
know of about ten people that have died this year alone.
(01:21):
Five of them were relatively close. Two of them were
family members, gotcha right, and so and one of them
was the wife's grandma and so, just to kind of
give y'all an idea of relative and close proximity and
how close people were all that type of stuff, you know,
(01:43):
and so so in all of these moments, you know,
you have various conversations of how people manage their money,
how people paired themselves for death, and what they had
in place. Right, So I just want to know how
(02:05):
many of y'all out there are even thinking about it.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
That's a good question. I know I'm not, but I
think I'm gonna sit in the cup for this book.
You know better than I do, so.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Well, no, I mean, but here's the thing, though, Mike,
I mean, so should you think about a little bit
more than what you are? I don't know, you really
think about it? I mean, I really don't know. I
mean because you know, because because of the people that
(02:45):
I know that have passed, you know, they're all different
ages and family sizes and things like that. So you know,
so because I've been thinking about it more because of
these situations, It's like, all right, so let's be honest.
Because of and I use my wife's grandmother because it
(03:07):
was a little closer, so I was a little more involved, right,
even though I did help out family members years and
years and years ago. Right, So I've been blessed not
to have close family members passed away where I had
to be totally involved, you know. So, But the thing
is is that, you know, did anyone really know how
(03:29):
much a funeral really is overall? And you don't know
until you walk into that place, right, right, And so
if you just use the funeral home expenses alone, just
funeral home expenses, you're talking And what I mean by
that is that is the casket that is in them, embalming,
(03:53):
getting the body, all that type of stuff that is
still only ten like that's ten grand And that was
with my grandmother in law being cremated ten grand, right,
And but we're only talking about funeral home expenses. We
haven't gone to anything else. So imagine if she had
(04:14):
to be buried in that casket. Imagine if she had
to be put into a grave site, because those are
the other expenses that we didn't have to encounter. And
imagine if I mean and we had she had a
church funeral, right, funeral in the church. But imagine if
(04:34):
she was not a member. So now you gotta pay
for the rental of the building. You gotta pay the
rental of the minister, and you gotta paid the rental
for the it's not renting these people but idea wise,
you know, but you got paid for right, thank you.
I appreciate that broke. And then you gotta pay for
(04:56):
the musician, right right. And you haven't done a repast yet,
so that means y'all haven't eaten, right, And you know,
everybody wants to eat, right right. Everybody wants to congregate
and come together and fellowship and sing songs and dance
and whatever whatever the situation is, right right, So now
you have food. And so when the wife and I
(05:18):
really sat down talked about it, you're talking about a
good seventeen to twenty grand oh overall. Now I want
to know how many of y'all has really paid attention
to what that cost really is and what it means.
(05:38):
How about that?
Speaker 3 (05:40):
I know when my uncle passed away, my mom laughed,
living brother were at a service at the church in
Glenn's side.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
But after that we just the close family. Man, we
just went out to eat, I mean, and that's what
that was one of the thoughts that we had, right,
you know. But the church provided some food and then
the family donated food, so right, so the money really
didn't come out the pocket.
Speaker 3 (06:04):
And you know, it depends on a certain family, the
family situation right as you see, you know, And yeah,
I mean sometimes it's you don't think about that, right.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
I mean, I mean because I mean so so like
when I had to remind the wife, I'm like, yo, like,
you know, when your dad passed, he had life insurance.
There you go, that were right there, life insurance right there,
you know, And so the money that was coming out
of your pocket was nothing. There you go. And honestly, basically,
how many people have that? But but I'm gonna be
(06:40):
honest with you. So, so I don't know if how
much y'all know about me. But I used to be
a part of an organization called Primerica. Okay, so I
used to sell life insurance. I was a you know,
so I was a part of that organization. I learned
a whole lot about business and life and whatever else.
(07:01):
And I'm saying it because so y'all understand the challenge
that I had of selling it or providing that service
or whatever however you would like to word it. I
had a problem with it because one people didn't believe
in the organization, right because it's the name brand or
whatever else it might have been. I can't say that
(07:23):
it was good, better and different. Everybody has their opinion,
right one number two, I would say that that was
the first bill that everybody defaulted on. Gotcha, everybody did not. So,
you know, so if I had an individual, this is
(07:44):
just my own experience, if I had an individual that
had any financial challenges, life insurance policy was the first
thing that they would stop paying. Now if my my
father in law, he had his insurance because he was military,
(08:04):
right and he worked for the government for teen years,
so when he passed, his life insurance was a little different, right. Now,
did he pay for more you know, or continue to
pay for it after he retired and all that type
of stuff. I think he did. I believe he did.
I don't remember. He died quite a few years ago, now,
(08:24):
over fifteen years ago now, so I don't remember all
the details. But but I just know that when we
were doing the life insurance thing, yeah, that was the
one thing that people stopped paying on. Yeah, you know,
And but it's like, hey, like does your family really
(08:45):
have the finances to cover that, like twenty thousand dollars?
There is a lot to come up with, it is.
And so now because of like again like when we
were sitting down talking about it's like now we can
understand why there are some people they'll dying January and
their funeral nin until June. Yeah, I see that right right,
It just feels like it's a long long time for
(09:08):
people to have a funeral, yeah, because they got to
raise the funds, to raise the funds, correct, you know.
And then on top of that, it's not just about
raising funds, but it's also availability of everybody else. Just
because just because you got the money today doesn't mean
that the church is available exactly what I'm exactly you know.
So I think those are the things that you know,
(09:29):
we as a community need to concern ourselves with. I
don't care what color you look, no ethnic group, no raised, no,
nothing like, it doesn't matter. Like it's across the boards,
across the board, correct, correct. And it's not just for
adults too, like you kind of need to think about
it for your kids as well these days. Year.
Speaker 3 (09:47):
That's the scary part, right, it's the man. Man, that's
the scary part. It's like, as you see, I don't.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
Not going to make it age and it's because there's
no no value in life. Now they think it's a
video game.
Speaker 3 (10:03):
Right, But what you know, but once you get caught, yeah,
all of a sudden, you know, you got allergies. Yeah yeah,
and you know now you know they charging fourteen fifteen
year olds as adults. Now them days is over. It's
backing on, not not Johnny, don't do that no more.
Don't do it no more. Now you're gonna start with
(10:24):
the big dogs. Yep, So yep, your choice. Yeah, you know,
ain't trying to change the subject, but this is part
of your life and you have to. It's just like
once again, if you don't want the cops check your kids,
check your own.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
Kids, well well, I mean, but this is like you're saying. So,
so if you take a look at what's happening. Once
they tell you don't run, right, don't reach in your
waistband right right, don't do, don't do, don't do, and
you're you know, people are making up in their mind
that either one ain't no hump right right, and you
(11:02):
ain't gonna tell me what to do, or my fear
kicks in and fear is now driving me right to run,
to want to fight, fight, or flight mentality, you know whatever.
Now to your point, unfortunately, it looks like police brutality, right,
or excessiveness or whatever. Now we can't say that. It's
(11:23):
not like, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that
it's not right, right, I'm not saying because it's also
the flip exactly, it's a flip as well, right, you know,
So it's gonna be fight or flight, right, you know,
so because all of us are human, right, no excuses,
all of us are right, you know. And so even
(11:46):
in that, you know, are people respective or respecting that
you only got one life.
Speaker 3 (11:54):
To live exactly? Because there's no such thing. You hit
the let you go, and you go. You can't hit
the reset button right right, you know.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
Yep.
Speaker 3 (12:03):
Only reset button you can hit is I need to
change my lifestyle. That's the only reset you can do.
But when you six ft under or any more whatever, right,
ain't know such thing and hitting the reset button?
Speaker 1 (12:16):
No, no, not at all, not at all. And I
think that's the part, like, you know, great point of
is life really a video game? Are we really in
the matrix? How about that? Yep? You know, because if
people keep treating it that way, which is what you
think is going to happen, right, And how do you
(12:37):
expect for other people to respect you and your family?
If you live life that way? You live like that, right, right,
you know? So so like like we have a neighbor,
right we you know, we you know, Mike and I
share a neighbor and her daughter calls me Uncle Reese.
Her daughter calls me Uncle Reese, you know, because I
(12:58):
make sure that she's okay. I asked how she's feeling,
you get what I mean? You know, once or twice
where she might have been locked out, you know, she
you know, I sat outside with her. I didn't ask
her come to my house because I didn't want no crazy,
right you know. So, so we sat outside or whatever
until her mom got home or whatever the situation might
(13:18):
have been. You know, even though I have I do
have a son and do it, but I ain't need
no nonsense, you know what I mean? You know, So,
so again respecting other situations, right you know. And so
but because of that, I respect them or whatever else,
(13:38):
I'm called Uncle Reeese, right you know. And so you know,
she goes away, she knows that, hey, she has a
neighbor that's gonna look after her stuff. She has more
than one, but I'm literally like close close to it, right, understood,
you know. And so so that's some of that's just
a boy default. But how many of us have that
(14:04):
that community, you know what I mean, you know where
you know our neighbor, you know, I really feel bad
that their their pet died, right right, you know. And
so do I see a change in their behavior, Yeah,
because I don't see him all the time.
Speaker 3 (14:19):
Exactly right, right, you know, especially when you see a
person in the individuals about the same time walking their dog, right,
walking their pet right every day, right, same time. So yeah,
it's like they're going through morning, right, you know, right,
And it's it's something that you know, oh you know
(14:40):
some people always just a pet, you know, always get
another one. Yeah, but yeah, you can do that, but
we got that bondage with your pet. It's like a
family member, right, It's totally different, stories different And even with.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
That, like when he was telling me about his pet,
I'm gonna hop back to the financial piece real quick.
When he's telling me about all this stuff that his
pet needed to go through and the surgeries, and like, dude,
like really yeah, really, yeah, that was a lot of money,
I mean because he was he still was talking about
(15:12):
anywhere between seven and ten grand, like overall overall, and
on top of that, his his pet was not going
to be one hundred percent even after that, no exactly,
So whatever been worth it? Now? Some people are dedicated that.
Speaker 3 (15:28):
Some people, right, they still do it right, right, they
still do it. But you know it's crazy, that's you know,
like life insurance, you know, gotta get paid in short, right,
it's crazy, right. You know my daughter she ain't never
want to be a veginate, right right, man. So it's
you know, everything everything deal will find it, especially death
(15:53):
regardless you got a plan, you know, get that life insurance,
and you know, sometimes you might have to start off okay,
five thousand dollars fifteen hundred, five thousand, whatever situation may be.
You might have to sit down, Okay, can we get
a family plan?
Speaker 1 (16:12):
I mean, but I think also that you need to
probably because the wife and I, like I said, we
talked about it. We're like, yo, can y'all write it
out first, right right out what you want right right?
And then realize what's that cost? The research? You know,
(16:33):
what to be because do I want the whole kin
kabule like do I want the church, and do I
want the doves? And do I want you know, you know,
whatever it is, you know, a special song being played
that I want someone to sing, a solo, you know,
a tribute to me, like you know, all this grandioso
(16:53):
type stuff. How much is that stuff going really cost?
And that's the part that that I think, again, what
people don't don't realize that's that's a whole lot of money,
right police, you know, and even just from an organization perspective,
you know, for those of our loved ones, because because
(17:16):
I had a family member who retired from the military
twice and worked for the police department. So just from
an organization perspective, you had to call all them departments
and had a gun salute from each one of those.
So a lot of that is planning as well, planning
as well, correct you know what I mean? You know. So,
(17:38):
so there's a whole lot to it when it comes
to planning the funeral, because there's some things that you
just don't think about. It really isn't And I think that,
you know, it's a conversation that needs to be had
across the board. Yeah, of course, I think which a
lot of people don't do. No, like like my mom.
(18:00):
Like the last time I spoke to my mom about
it seriously or at least what she worded what she
wanted was when I was a kid ish I might
have been early twenties, and she said, no, you know what,
I just want you all to have a party. Well, Mom,
I don't tell me what to do with your body exactly.
You get what I mean, Like I got that's that's
(18:22):
that's numero.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
You know.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
I mean, you know we're gonna have a party, but
I ain't gonna know to have a party with a
dead body sitting right there.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
She's right, and I'm not. I'm not in those plates
like yo. I don't know if it was Instagram or TikTok,
but I saw this funeral where the gentleman they had
him standing up as if it had a party, as
if like he was like he was there. I don't
(18:51):
want that. I ain't coming to America to forget that,
right right, you know, like like first of all, do
y'all even realize how hard it was for me to
even want to attend the funeral exactly to you know,
I ain't want to go to no funerals things get
me the creep. So I'm sorry, you get what I mean, Like,
you know, and it wasn't until recently where you start
(19:12):
hearing more and more people being cremated, you get what
I mean. So I could kind of deal with that
a little bit better. Like like even for like, when
my father in law passed, like I said, it was
fifteen years ago, so the kids were still in single
digit age rise, right, and so really, do you want
your young child who's just with their grandparents like they
(19:34):
were just with him? Got you? And do you want
your your your six and your eight year old they
have the last memory of them laying in the casket?
How about that? Do you really want that? That's that's
that's really kind of hard. So so you know, when
my father in law passed, the immediate thought was cremation,
(19:57):
you know know what I mean. So so we never
saw him, well I never saw him when he died.
We were at the hospital with him. We took him
in on a Friday. He died that Monday. We were
there with him that Monday morning as he was transitioning, right,
(20:18):
and so you can kind of see that, you know whatever,
And we leave like almost as soon as we get home,
my wife gets a phone call that he died and
she had to turn around come back, you know. And
so so she saw him while he was in that
you know state, but I never did. My kids never did,
(20:43):
you know. And so because the next time quote unquote
I saw him was in the box with his cremations, right,
you know. So my last my last memory of him
is him walking and talking or not he wasn't walking,
but him talking to me, you know, or like I said,
as he was transitioning, him just looking like he was
(21:04):
kind of sleep and you know all that type of stuff.
You get what I mean. But he was still breathing,
you know, and he still had a moment where he
kind of still right before he left, he kind of
had come too, and he hugged both his daughters, got
you know, he hugged my wife and her sister. He
(21:25):
hugged them, and then he kind of slipped right back
into it while he's hugging God. You get what I mean.
You know, So again, the probably the most endearing, most
sensitive moment I've ever probably seen in my life, I
probably will ever see in my life, right at least personally,
you get what I mean? But it's moments like that
(21:45):
where you're like, you know, if I could do whatever
I can to make sure that my loved one, I
take care of them, you get what I mean? When
they did you know, you know, so I'm gonna do
everything I can. So I understand the fish dinner, go
fund me all that time and stuff like, you know,
you want to raise the funds. But I think that
(22:06):
that has to be a family conversation.
Speaker 3 (22:08):
Which that's the problem. Like there which certain families not
together like that, you know, right, that's the problem. Right, Yeah,
it's I mean, when that person passed away, the only thing,
you know, all they said, oh what can I get?
Speaker 1 (22:24):
You know, it's crazy, It's crazy. There's a lot of
people like that.
Speaker 3 (22:28):
You're right, Can I get the car? Who gonna get
the house? That's all they're worrying about. Yeah, it's man,
that unity is not there anymore, that right, you know, right,
you be a strong bondage.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
But now it's like and I as I was telling,
like I had just gone to the bank, I was
doing some banking stuff or whatever else, and here's what
I found out this and this is by accident. I
didn't even know. And before we you know sign off.
But this is something that everyone needs to understand that
if your name is not on in somebody's account, you
(23:08):
can't do anything. You can't do nothing, you can't do
any transactions per what I read. Now, Now I could
have misread it or whatever else, but I know definitely
you couldn't even make a deposit to someone's account if
your name wasn't on the account. You have to verify
who you are across the board. Now, I remember at
one time, you know, yeah, I could make you know,
(23:31):
make a deposit for my mom or my grandmam or
whatever else. Because I'm just doing the I'm not doing
a withdrawal. I ain't take no money out. I'm putting
money in. Matter, But now I gotta my name has
to be on the account in order for me to
do anything. That's craziness. And so I'm saying that because
(23:51):
now that means if someone dies and the money is
sitting there, right, what do you do.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
He go get That's when he got to get the
legal lawyers intoolved, right, And that's.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
Gonna cost you, right, especially if I'm just putting money in,
like I'm not even asking to take the money out necessarily.
But I'm just saying, like, if there's anything that needs
to happen, yo, you know, because can I turning over
to the funeral home so they could take the money
out like whatever, you know, all these other situities, like
you said, now all of a sudden, I gotta I
have to have true legal representation across the board, Like
(24:30):
I just need to be have a lawyer on standby, right,
you know, just for that right. So yeah, y'all, I mean,
I know we said a whole lot, you know, but
I just want to know how many of y'all are
prepared for that. It's not easy. It's totally not It's
not easy. It's not simple, and I have learned a lot.
(24:55):
There's some things I did forget about, you know what
I mean, Because you know, you're blessed when you you
know your family members aren't dying, right, you know, especially
people that are that close. But then you start having
people back to back to back and people being sick
and all that type of stuff, like now you got
to think about it, like oh snap, right, it's a big, big,
big eye opener, right right. So so y'all, you know,
(25:18):
let us know what your thoughts are, how you prepare,
how you didn't prepare, and where you think that you
need to be in the next five minutes exactly because
you never know, you never know, never know. So we
thank y'all very much listening pace Pace.
Speaker 2 (25:34):
Thanks for hanging out with us on the Neighbors Podcast.
We hope you enjoyed the conversation and felt right at home.
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until next time. Remember we're all just neighbors working together
(25:57):
for a better community. Stay safe, stay connected, and we'll
catch you in the next one.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
H m hm
Yo, yo yo. So I have a question for y'all.
How much do y'all have sitting around waiting for you
when it is time to uh go on? Like, do
y'all have to do fish dinners? Do y'all have to
do a gun go fund me if your loved ones
(00:20):
pass away? Let's talk about it in a minute, Danny,
it's the Neighbors podcast, will be some Mike. They discausing
different issues that affect up treating like that.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
It's the Neighbors.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Wait, the Neighbors. Yeah, you what's up? What's up? Top
of the morning, Good morning, Good morning. So as you
heard talking about fish dinners and and go fundmes and
things like that, because some of us are not really
(00:55):
planning right, you know, for our loved ones after we die. Right,
I'm gonna get y'all the reason why I'm asked or
I'm saying this to y'all. It is still the top
of twenty twenty five. And I know me personally, I
know of about ten people that have died this year alone.
(01:21):
Five of them were relatively close. Two of them were
family members, gotcha right, and so and one of them
was the wife's grandma and so, just to kind of
give y'all an idea of relative and close proximity and
how close people were all that type of stuff, you know,
(01:43):
and so so in all of these moments, you know,
you have various conversations of how people manage their money,
how people paired themselves for death, and what they had
in place. Right, So I just want to know how
(02:05):
many of y'all out there are even thinking about it.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
That's a good question. I know I'm not, but I
think I'm gonna sit in the cup for this book.
You know better than I do, so.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Well, no, I mean, but here's the thing, though, Mike,
I mean, so should you think about a little bit
more than what you are? I don't know, you really
think about it? I mean, I really don't know. I
mean because you know, because because of the people that
(02:45):
I know that have passed, you know, they're all different
ages and family sizes and things like that. So you know,
so because I've been thinking about it more because of
these situations, It's like, all right, so let's be honest.
Because of and I use my wife's grandmother because it
(03:07):
was a little closer, so I was a little more involved, right,
even though I did help out family members years and
years and years ago. Right, So I've been blessed not
to have close family members passed away where I had
to be totally involved, you know. So, But the thing
is is that, you know, did anyone really know how
(03:29):
much a funeral really is overall? And you don't know
until you walk into that place, right, right, And so
if you just use the funeral home expenses alone, just
funeral home expenses, you're talking And what I mean by
that is that is the casket that is in them, embalming,
(03:53):
getting the body, all that type of stuff that is
still only ten like that's ten grand And that was
with my grandmother in law being cremated ten grand, right,
And but we're only talking about funeral home expenses. We
haven't gone to anything else. So imagine if she had
(04:14):
to be buried in that casket. Imagine if she had
to be put into a grave site, because those are
the other expenses that we didn't have to encounter. And
imagine if I mean and we had she had a
church funeral, right, funeral in the church. But imagine if
(04:34):
she was not a member. So now you gotta pay
for the rental of the building. You gotta pay the
rental of the minister, and you gotta paid the rental
for the it's not renting these people but idea wise,
you know, but you got paid for right, thank you.
I appreciate that broke. And then you gotta pay for
(04:56):
the musician, right right. And you haven't done a repast yet,
so that means y'all haven't eaten, right, And you know,
everybody wants to eat, right right. Everybody wants to congregate
and come together and fellowship and sing songs and dance
and whatever whatever the situation is, right right, So now
you have food. And so when the wife and I
(05:18):
really sat down talked about it, you're talking about a
good seventeen to twenty grand oh overall. Now I want
to know how many of y'all has really paid attention
to what that cost really is and what it means.
(05:38):
How about that?
Speaker 3 (05:40):
I know when my uncle passed away, my mom laughed,
living brother were at a service at the church in
Glenn's side.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
But after that we just the close family. Man, we
just went out to eat, I mean, and that's what
that was one of the thoughts that we had, right,
you know. But the church provided some food and then
the family donated food, so right, so the money really
didn't come out the pocket.
Speaker 3 (06:04):
And you know, it depends on a certain family, the
family situation right as you see, you know, And yeah,
I mean sometimes it's you don't think about that, right.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
I mean, I mean because I mean so so like
when I had to remind the wife, I'm like, yo, like,
you know, when your dad passed, he had life insurance.
There you go, that were right there, life insurance right there,
you know, And so the money that was coming out
of your pocket was nothing. There you go. And honestly, basically,
how many people have that? But but I'm gonna be
(06:40):
honest with you. So, so I don't know if how
much y'all know about me. But I used to be
a part of an organization called Primerica. Okay, so I
used to sell life insurance. I was a you know,
so I was a part of that organization. I learned
a whole lot about business and life and whatever else.
(07:01):
And I'm saying it because so y'all understand the challenge
that I had of selling it or providing that service
or whatever however you would like to word it. I
had a problem with it because one people didn't believe
in the organization, right because it's the name brand or
whatever else it might have been. I can't say that
(07:23):
it was good, better and different. Everybody has their opinion,
right one number two, I would say that that was
the first bill that everybody defaulted on. Gotcha, everybody did not. So,
you know, so if I had an individual, this is
(07:44):
just my own experience, if I had an individual that
had any financial challenges, life insurance policy was the first
thing that they would stop paying. Now if my my
father in law, he had his insurance because he was military,
(08:04):
right and he worked for the government for teen years,
so when he passed, his life insurance was a little different, right. Now,
did he pay for more you know, or continue to
pay for it after he retired and all that type
of stuff. I think he did. I believe he did.
I don't remember. He died quite a few years ago, now,
(08:24):
over fifteen years ago now, so I don't remember all
the details. But but I just know that when we
were doing the life insurance thing, yeah, that was the
one thing that people stopped paying on. Yeah, you know,
And but it's like, hey, like does your family really
(08:45):
have the finances to cover that, like twenty thousand dollars?
There is a lot to come up with, it is.
And so now because of like again like when we
were sitting down talking about it's like now we can
understand why there are some people they'll dying January and
their funeral nin until June. Yeah, I see that right right,
It just feels like it's a long long time for
(09:08):
people to have a funeral, yeah, because they got to
raise the funds, to raise the funds, correct, you know.
And then on top of that, it's not just about
raising funds, but it's also availability of everybody else. Just
because just because you got the money today doesn't mean
that the church is available exactly what I'm exactly you know.
So I think those are the things that you know,
(09:29):
we as a community need to concern ourselves with. I
don't care what color you look, no ethnic group, no raised, no,
nothing like, it doesn't matter. Like it's across the boards,
across the board, correct, correct. And it's not just for
adults too, like you kind of need to think about
it for your kids as well these days. Year.
Speaker 3 (09:47):
That's the scary part, right, it's the man. Man, that's
the scary part. It's like, as you see, I don't.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
Not going to make it age and it's because there's
no no value in life. Now they think it's a
video game.
Speaker 3 (10:03):
Right, But what you know, but once you get caught, yeah,
all of a sudden, you know, you got allergies. Yeah yeah,
and you know now you know they charging fourteen fifteen
year olds as adults. Now them days is over. It's
backing on, not not Johnny, don't do that no more.
Don't do it no more. Now you're gonna start with
(10:24):
the big dogs. Yep, So yep, your choice. Yeah, you know,
ain't trying to change the subject, but this is part
of your life and you have to. It's just like
once again, if you don't want the cops check your kids,
check your own.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
Kids, well well, I mean, but this is like you're saying. So,
so if you take a look at what's happening. Once
they tell you don't run, right, don't reach in your
waistband right right, don't do, don't do, don't do, and
you're you know, people are making up in their mind
that either one ain't no hump right right, and you
(11:02):
ain't gonna tell me what to do, or my fear
kicks in and fear is now driving me right to run,
to want to fight, fight, or flight mentality, you know whatever.
Now to your point, unfortunately, it looks like police brutality, right,
or excessiveness or whatever. Now we can't say that. It's
(11:23):
not like, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that
it's not right, right, I'm not saying because it's also
the flip exactly, it's a flip as well, right, you know,
So it's gonna be fight or flight, right, you know,
so because all of us are human, right, no excuses,
all of us are right, you know. And so even
(11:46):
in that, you know, are people respective or respecting that
you only got one life.
Speaker 3 (11:54):
To live exactly? Because there's no such thing. You hit
the let you go, and you go. You can't hit
the reset button right right, you know.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
Yep.
Speaker 3 (12:03):
Only reset button you can hit is I need to
change my lifestyle. That's the only reset you can do.
But when you six ft under or any more whatever, right,
ain't know such thing and hitting the reset button?
Speaker 1 (12:16):
No, no, not at all, not at all. And I
think that's the part, like, you know, great point of
is life really a video game? Are we really in
the matrix? How about that? Yep? You know, because if
people keep treating it that way, which is what you
think is going to happen, right, And how do you
(12:37):
expect for other people to respect you and your family?
If you live life that way? You live like that, right, right,
you know? So so like like we have a neighbor,
right we you know, we you know, Mike and I
share a neighbor and her daughter calls me Uncle Reese.
Her daughter calls me Uncle Reese, you know, because I
(12:58):
make sure that she's okay. I asked how she's feeling,
you get what I mean? You know, once or twice
where she might have been locked out, you know, she
you know, I sat outside with her. I didn't ask
her come to my house because I didn't want no crazy,
right you know. So, so we sat outside or whatever
until her mom got home or whatever the situation might
(13:18):
have been. You know, even though I have I do
have a son and do it, but I ain't need
no nonsense, you know what I mean? You know, So,
so again respecting other situations, right you know. And so
but because of that, I respect them or whatever else,
(13:38):
I'm called Uncle Reeese, right you know. And so you know,
she goes away, she knows that, hey, she has a
neighbor that's gonna look after her stuff. She has more
than one, but I'm literally like close close to it, right, understood,
you know. And so so that's some of that's just
a boy default. But how many of us have that
(14:04):
that community, you know what I mean, you know where
you know our neighbor, you know, I really feel bad
that their their pet died, right right, you know. And
so do I see a change in their behavior, Yeah,
because I don't see him all the time.
Speaker 3 (14:19):
Exactly right, right, you know, especially when you see a
person in the individuals about the same time walking their dog, right,
walking their pet right every day, right, same time. So yeah,
it's like they're going through morning, right, you know, right,
And it's it's something that you know, oh you know
(14:40):
some people always just a pet, you know, always get
another one. Yeah, but yeah, you can do that, but
we got that bondage with your pet. It's like a
family member, right, It's totally different, stories different And even with.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
That, like when he was telling me about his pet,
I'm gonna hop back to the financial piece real quick.
When he's telling me about all this stuff that his
pet needed to go through and the surgeries, and like, dude,
like really yeah, really, yeah, that was a lot of money,
I mean because he was he still was talking about
(15:12):
anywhere between seven and ten grand, like overall overall, and
on top of that, his his pet was not going
to be one hundred percent even after that, no exactly,
So whatever been worth it? Now? Some people are dedicated that.
Speaker 3 (15:28):
Some people, right, they still do it right, right, they
still do it. But you know it's crazy, that's you know,
like life insurance, you know, gotta get paid in short, right,
it's crazy, right. You know my daughter she ain't never
want to be a veginate, right right, man. So it's
you know, everything everything deal will find it, especially death
(15:53):
regardless you got a plan, you know, get that life insurance,
and you know, sometimes you might have to start off okay,
five thousand dollars fifteen hundred, five thousand, whatever situation may be.
You might have to sit down, Okay, can we get
a family plan?
Speaker 1 (16:12):
I mean, but I think also that you need to
probably because the wife and I, like I said, we
talked about it. We're like, yo, can y'all write it
out first, right right out what you want right right?
And then realize what's that cost? The research? You know,
(16:33):
what to be because do I want the whole kin
kabule like do I want the church, and do I
want the doves? And do I want you know, you know,
whatever it is, you know, a special song being played
that I want someone to sing, a solo, you know,
a tribute to me, like you know, all this grandioso
(16:53):
type stuff. How much is that stuff going really cost?
And that's the part that that I think, again, what
people don't don't realize that's that's a whole lot of money,
right police, you know, and even just from an organization perspective,
you know, for those of our loved ones, because because
(17:16):
I had a family member who retired from the military
twice and worked for the police department. So just from
an organization perspective, you had to call all them departments
and had a gun salute from each one of those.
So a lot of that is planning as well, planning
as well, correct you know what I mean? You know. So,
(17:38):
so there's a whole lot to it when it comes
to planning the funeral, because there's some things that you
just don't think about. It really isn't And I think that,
you know, it's a conversation that needs to be had
across the board. Yeah, of course, I think which a
lot of people don't do. No, like like my mom.
(18:00):
Like the last time I spoke to my mom about
it seriously or at least what she worded what she
wanted was when I was a kid ish I might
have been early twenties, and she said, no, you know what,
I just want you all to have a party. Well, Mom,
I don't tell me what to do with your body exactly.
You get what I mean, Like I got that's that's
(18:22):
that's numero.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
You know.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
I mean, you know we're gonna have a party, but
I ain't gonna know to have a party with a
dead body sitting right there.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
She's right, and I'm not. I'm not in those plates
like yo. I don't know if it was Instagram or TikTok,
but I saw this funeral where the gentleman they had
him standing up as if it had a party, as
if like he was like he was there. I don't
(18:51):
want that. I ain't coming to America to forget that,
right right, you know, like like first of all, do
y'all even realize how hard it was for me to
even want to attend the funeral exactly to you know,
I ain't want to go to no funerals things get
me the creep. So I'm sorry, you get what I mean, Like,
you know, and it wasn't until recently where you start
(19:12):
hearing more and more people being cremated, you get what
I mean. So I could kind of deal with that
a little bit better. Like like even for like, when
my father in law passed, like I said, it was
fifteen years ago, so the kids were still in single
digit age rise, right, and so really, do you want
your young child who's just with their grandparents like they
(19:34):
were just with him? Got you? And do you want
your your your six and your eight year old they
have the last memory of them laying in the casket?
How about that? Do you really want that? That's that's
that's really kind of hard. So so you know, when
my father in law passed, the immediate thought was cremation,
(19:57):
you know know what I mean. So so we never
saw him, well I never saw him when he died.
We were at the hospital with him. We took him
in on a Friday. He died that Monday. We were
there with him that Monday morning as he was transitioning, right,
(20:18):
and so you can kind of see that, you know whatever,
And we leave like almost as soon as we get home,
my wife gets a phone call that he died and
she had to turn around come back, you know. And
so so she saw him while he was in that
you know state, but I never did. My kids never did,
(20:43):
you know. And so because the next time quote unquote
I saw him was in the box with his cremations, right,
you know. So my last my last memory of him
is him walking and talking or not he wasn't walking,
but him talking to me, you know, or like I said,
as he was transitioning, him just looking like he was
(21:04):
kind of sleep and you know all that type of stuff.
You get what I mean. But he was still breathing,
you know, and he still had a moment where he
kind of still right before he left, he kind of
had come too, and he hugged both his daughters, got
you know, he hugged my wife and her sister. He
(21:25):
hugged them, and then he kind of slipped right back
into it while he's hugging God. You get what I mean.
You know, So again, the probably the most endearing, most
sensitive moment I've ever probably seen in my life, I
probably will ever see in my life, right at least personally,
you get what I mean? But it's moments like that
(21:45):
where you're like, you know, if I could do whatever
I can to make sure that my loved one, I
take care of them, you get what I mean? When
they did you know, you know, so I'm gonna do
everything I can. So I understand the fish dinner, go
fund me all that time and stuff like, you know,
you want to raise the funds. But I think that
(22:06):
that has to be a family conversation.
Speaker 3 (22:08):
Which that's the problem. Like there which certain families not
together like that, you know, right, that's the problem. Right, Yeah,
it's I mean, when that person passed away, the only thing,
you know, all they said, oh what can I get?
Speaker 1 (22:24):
You know, it's crazy, It's crazy. There's a lot of
people like that.
Speaker 3 (22:28):
You're right, Can I get the car? Who gonna get
the house? That's all they're worrying about. Yeah, it's man,
that unity is not there anymore, that right, you know, right,
you be a strong bondage.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
But now it's like and I as I was telling,
like I had just gone to the bank, I was
doing some banking stuff or whatever else, and here's what
I found out this and this is by accident. I
didn't even know. And before we you know sign off.
But this is something that everyone needs to understand that
if your name is not on in somebody's account, you
(23:08):
can't do anything. You can't do nothing, you can't do
any transactions per what I read. Now, Now I could
have misread it or whatever else, but I know definitely
you couldn't even make a deposit to someone's account if
your name wasn't on the account. You have to verify
who you are across the board. Now, I remember at
one time, you know, yeah, I could make you know,
(23:31):
make a deposit for my mom or my grandmam or
whatever else. Because I'm just doing the I'm not doing
a withdrawal. I ain't take no money out. I'm putting
money in. Matter, But now I gotta my name has
to be on the account in order for me to
do anything. That's craziness. And so I'm saying that because
(23:51):
now that means if someone dies and the money is
sitting there, right, what do you do.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
He go get That's when he got to get the
legal lawyers intoolved, right, And that's.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
Gonna cost you, right, especially if I'm just putting money in,
like I'm not even asking to take the money out necessarily.
But I'm just saying, like, if there's anything that needs
to happen, yo, you know, because can I turning over
to the funeral home so they could take the money
out like whatever, you know, all these other situities, like
you said, now all of a sudden, I gotta I
have to have true legal representation across the board, Like
(24:30):
I just need to be have a lawyer on standby, right,
you know, just for that right. So yeah, y'all, I mean,
I know we said a whole lot, you know, but
I just want to know how many of y'all are
prepared for that. It's not easy. It's totally not It's
not easy. It's not simple, and I have learned a lot.
(24:55):
There's some things I did forget about, you know what
I mean, Because you know, you're blessed when you you
know your family members aren't dying, right, you know, especially
people that are that close. But then you start having
people back to back to back and people being sick
and all that type of stuff, like now you got
to think about it, like oh snap, right, it's a big, big,
big eye opener, right right. So so y'all, you know,
(25:18):
let us know what your thoughts are, how you prepare,
how you didn't prepare, and where you think that you
need to be in the next five minutes exactly because
you never know, you never know, never know. So we
thank y'all very much listening pace Pace.
Speaker 2 (25:34):
Thanks for hanging out with us on the Neighbors Podcast.
We hope you enjoyed the conversation and felt right at home.
If you like what you heard, don't be a stranger, subscribe,
leave us a review, and share this with your friends
and family. Got something on your mind or a topic
you'd love to hear us talk about, hit us up
until next time. Remember we're all just neighbors working together
(25:57):
for a better community. Stay safe, stay connected, and we'll
catch you in the next one.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
H m hm
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