Gender Warz World Wide-"Do People Go Ghost When Feelings Get Too Strong?"

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
A ship ship ship ship Wow wow wow, um hmm,
God damn it, God damn listen, Yo, I've been I've

(00:24):
been chilling bro day.

Speaker 2 (00:26):
It was good. Robert was good.

Speaker 1 (00:28):
Y'all know how to y'all know how to club getn
club goes Crazyna. I'm gonna be definitely talking about some
good ship tonight, late night gender woold talk.

Speaker 2 (00:38):
Lucky, get up here, you know what it is.

Speaker 1 (00:41):
Gonna be up here before it start getting crazy, before
they start getting before they start getting violent, Lucky.

Speaker 3 (00:48):
You know.

Speaker 4 (00:48):
Oh yeah, I'm gonna come up here and entertaining the
stage and then the conversation because I'm gonna be around
my man in about like two hours and I ain't
gonna be able to play around with.

Speaker 2 (00:58):
Y'all the more.

Speaker 1 (00:59):
Alright, not he hold me down, you know what I'm
sending this tomorrow, Chris, So you're more code this ship
down because I'm moderator.

Speaker 2 (01:06):
You know. Yeah, there's a lot of shit going on.
I can't trust that many people know.

Speaker 3 (01:13):
You ain't wrong, and I've been told you.

Speaker 2 (01:16):
That now you did though, Lucky for a minute.

Speaker 5 (01:18):
Lucky, Hey girl, hay, Hey, what's y'all doing? He is
my son?

Speaker 6 (01:27):
I want to say, hey, y'all, Hey.

Speaker 5 (01:32):
Play nephew, Hey, little nephew.

Speaker 2 (01:34):
Little Lucky.

Speaker 5 (01:37):
Mm hmmm. Fact, there's also in that box that I
told you about.

Speaker 2 (01:43):
Niggas out.

Speaker 5 (01:44):
My friend's fact, like my brother and my friend.

Speaker 3 (01:47):
Yo, you said, do I be knocking niggas out?

Speaker 2 (01:56):
I don't know you hitting them with the upper cut?

Speaker 3 (02:01):
Hey, I'm a real, I'm a real.

Speaker 7 (02:03):
Bronchool is scared to be around that.

Speaker 2 (02:09):
They're like, they're like Mike Tyson. They're like, don't this.

Speaker 4 (02:12):
Bottle, No, it's gonna be over.

Speaker 7 (02:18):
And then they gonna be like, that's Lucky.

Speaker 8 (02:20):
Fun Like nah, yo, Lucky, he come on here. He's
gonna cause mayhem. You heard Lucky, like may him like
me and him like.

Speaker 1 (02:31):
Boxing matches, trying to box niggas, Yeah, Lucky, it's yeah,
keep him off clubhouse. It's gonna be trying to box
everybody on the clubhouse. Nigga all that, Nigga, let's fight, Nigga,
set up the boxing match. Nigga, let's set up the
boxing match niggas.

Speaker 3 (02:48):
He'd be ready for it too, he'd be ready.

Speaker 2 (02:55):
So you talk about something, I gotcha.

Speaker 5 (02:59):
I'm just picking up the room. Well, I have time.

Speaker 1 (03:13):
I got a topic for y'all right now, so you
and more could get this shit started, because I know
people gonna start flocking by as soon as we switch
the topic up. But this one right here, I got
for y'all. Do people sabotage love before it can fail? Yeah, lucky,
let's get up in there, mow. Let's start this ship. Yeah,
people start coming through its start getting crazy tonight. But yeah,
over to y'all. I'll let y'all build a congo and

(03:34):
then if people ask for moderator badges, just keep that
ship limited. Y'all know who I fuck with you and
who I don't. Let's keep this ship rocking.

Speaker 5 (03:43):
Yeah, people sabotage a little all the time. They self
sabotage because they're scared of being hurt because of their
past experiences.

Speaker 9 (03:51):
You know.

Speaker 5 (03:51):
So unfortunately, you can be a good man to a
broken woman and she's gonna s sabotage your relationship to
protect her, and it causes more damage than good.

Speaker 6 (04:03):
So you know, took the words right out of my mouth.

Speaker 4 (04:10):
Most motherfuckers will self sabotage their way not just out
of look out of a job. They're self sabitized their
way out of they oh out of anything that makes
them happy. Because people be in their own head and
they overthink and overanalyze, and then they start to think
in the most negative ship. And then once you start

(04:32):
thinking it and you constantly doing a rerun of the
negative shit in your mind, eventually you're gonna believe it
and you're gonna fuck yourself out of the good ship
that life has for you.

Speaker 3 (04:43):
It never fails.

Speaker 2 (04:48):
Yeah, how you feel about that too?

Speaker 1 (04:49):
See, I agree with you, lucky, because people do be
fucking themselves out of a lot of situations and shit,
people sabotage that ship before it could even start.

Speaker 2 (04:56):
Like y'all be hearing bro Ryan be coming to hengling.

Speaker 1 (04:59):
Man, it's like ship good out of nothing, and I
hit out from a lot a lot of other people too.
It's like, man, they don't even think good going into
situations and wonder watch, Brian is a big.

Speaker 6 (05:07):
Sad ass case.

Speaker 7 (05:08):
So that he's a big sad.

Speaker 4 (05:11):
Fat, super sad case. And it's just I'm so tired
of hearing him, like, Bro, you ain't never got.

Speaker 5 (05:18):
Shit good to say that.

Speaker 4 (05:19):
That that's my That to me, that means, nigga, you
ain't putting out nothing good.

Speaker 7 (05:24):
So you ain't getting good back.

Speaker 4 (05:27):
You just like you just it's just sad, Like nigga
karma is real. So if you're putting out bad ship,
we're speaking bad you're doing all of that ship, all
the negative shit. You think that shit is not gonna
come back to you. That's all that's gonna come back
to you. There's there's no there's no good coming your
way if you're constantly thinking and believing and moving like that.

Speaker 1 (05:48):
I'm glad you said that, Lucky, because it's like the
more the more worse energy you put out, the more
worse energy you're gonna get. See you there, brother, how
you feel about that? Man, But love before it can
even damn fail. Let's drop this shit up. Man, While
were waiting for some people, I.

Speaker 10 (06:06):
Mean, I agree so far with what everybody's saying. I mean,
you know it could be for them, you know, for
numerous reasons. It could be because you got unfinished finished
from your last relationship.

Speaker 2 (06:18):
It could be that at the moment in time that
you can't.

Speaker 10 (06:22):
Realize is that you were to talk to one that
the person that left you actually should have did that
long time ago. You was the one that they were
supposed to get away from So it's like, you know,
like it's just so many tools. But yeah, man, I
mean I see so many, so many people that can't
get the best out of the person that they have
right now. But you realize that once that person is

(06:43):
done with them and somebody else picked them up, you see,
the glow is different.

Speaker 8 (06:48):
Globe.

Speaker 2 (06:49):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (06:49):
Yeah, I always wondered to see when people leave other
people and why they glow up like damn this thinger
done got a bag, or damn she done got prettier.

Speaker 2 (06:55):
Right See, you know I'm seeing that.

Speaker 10 (07:00):
Person didn't change. Maybe that person actually had that end
them and you couldn't bring it out of them. That's also,
you know what I'm saying, like a form of sabotage.

Speaker 5 (07:18):
I absolutely agree with people self sabotage. Think about it
low self worth. They feel like I don't deserve their soul.
Like I said, they sabotage their relationships because before it
can reveal the future fear that they have that honestly
is untrue. Also a lot of people sabotage they expect rejection.

(07:41):
They're so used to being rejected that when they have
a good thing that's truly for them, like likes the
more than they like them. That it's like, you know, damn,
it's this is this true? This is you know, this
is a fantasy, and it's like listen, know your self worth.
You have to go through the frogs to get to

(08:03):
your prints in life, no matter what it is. And
when you find that one, don't prevent your happiness because
of the traumas that you dealt with them frogs like otherwise,
you will always be stuck.

Speaker 2 (08:22):
I agree with you, Mo, and nobody want to be stuck.

Speaker 1 (08:24):
It's like, man, you sabotage your life, you sabotage your
shit all the time, you will be stuck. I think
we were talking about that shit earlier. A lot of
people are stuck in their ways and what they're doing
and just fucked up. Man, get out your ways and
start not sabotaging yourself. But sabotages is really, really, really
really it's bad. It happens more than you think because,
like I said, people block their blessings before they even

(08:45):
open their mouth. Pablo, whatever, man, people open. People block
their blessings before they even open their mouth.

Speaker 2 (08:51):
It's like lucky.

Speaker 1 (08:52):
You've ever seen somebody, Oh man, they got potential. You
got potential to do this, But then then we heard
you talk, or we heard how you move, seen how
you just clip that whole shit for you. So blocking
your blessings before the even get there is the worst.
But people do sabotage and fail a lot of shits
before they e can get there. It's like then you
ring your night, you shit, have never said anything. How

(09:12):
y'all feel about that? Like some people should be quiet,
don't say nothing. You sabotage and shit. Some people just
need to shut up. Maybe let some aspirations happen. They
me some manifestations. I feel like people talk too quick, too, bro,
let's get into it.

Speaker 5 (09:25):
They talk too much. Your mom may never tell you
to be what. Some people don't know when to shut
the hell up right, and they talk themselves out of
a blessing. But when you think about sabotage, sabotage gives
you a form of control so that they could control
the narrative and the outcome. So it's like, if I
lose it, she had charged it to the game. I

(09:46):
made that decision. I'd rather walk away. I'm trying to
protect myself from the fear of.

Speaker 1 (09:53):
True love, you know, damn thank you for that, Justina
how you feeling, bray him, and we're just having a
little conversation here. Do people sabotage love before it fails?
Any guys can pack in, Hey, Valerie, how you feeling.
Anybody can come in, Let's have this conversation. We've been
having some good conversations in gender Woods and I've been
liking the congo and anybody can jump in at this point.

(10:15):
But Mold, thank you for that. But people do sabotage
before it can fail. I was like, all right, if
you know that you don't know this person, vet the person,
see how this shit's gonna go.

Speaker 2 (10:23):
A lot of y'all are just, oh, this shit ain't
gonna work out before you even get there. You don't
even know the motherfucker.

Speaker 1 (10:27):
But you already gave the mindset of failing, having the
mindset of feeling is it sucks. Let's get into this shit, Mold,
Lucky see Braham, Jasna gig what they do. Let's get
into this conversation. I'm gonna be building the room up,
letting it get up to where it needs to go.
And I'm gonna be and I need to hear y'all
on this. People will sabotage shit before do you give
it get anywhere, Like, Okay, this shit haven't even got

(10:50):
to where it's supposed to go, and you're already sabotaged.
So anybody can jump in. I'ma let y'all rock out
for now, Jess. Welcome to the stage, Brandy. Everybody shout out, Yeah,
let's continue.

Speaker 5 (11:01):
What's up.

Speaker 2 (11:03):
About this topic?

Speaker 11 (11:04):
I have definitely sabotaged love before it can fail, So
I figured if I sabotage it, then you know it'll
be over before I'm into lead type of thing, or
yeah when I or if you don't believe, like if
it's too good to be true type of thing, and
you're like, yeah, this is gonna end anyway, So the

(11:27):
quicker the better.

Speaker 2 (11:28):
Why would why did you have that mindset though?

Speaker 11 (11:32):
Oh man, you're trying to make me vulnerable up in here.

Speaker 12 (11:41):
Oh man.

Speaker 11 (11:42):
It went into me even believing that I deserve what
the person was bringing, especially if.

Speaker 3 (11:48):
He was really good.

Speaker 11 (11:50):
So then I would start like yeah, you know, like
kind of start questioning and like giving that side eye
type of like nah, he nah, I know I don't
deserve that greatness. So let me let me put all
the all the hubble flaws out here, you know, even
if it's very tiny like oh, you called him and
he couldn't answer because he was at work, but then

(12:11):
you know you, oh yeah you did. You couldn't answer
my call, Babe, I was in a meeting all day?
Well yeah, whatever, So that type of thing. But I'm
it's not to say that it's not something that I'm
doing now, because of course now I'm looking for love
and so that's definitely not something that I would be doing.
I would not be sabotaging my next husband.

Speaker 2 (12:32):
So so you're saying that you used to have the
sabotaging mindset.

Speaker 11 (12:37):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, probably it's not something that I'm
doing right now because yeah, right now I'm waiting for
my prince Charming and and I'm trying to be you know,
optimistic and open minded, and so there's a lot of
things that I will no longer be doing. I'm not
sabotaging myself and keeping myself for Mamy.

Speaker 13 (12:56):
Are you kidding me?

Speaker 11 (12:57):
Nah?

Speaker 1 (12:59):
I'm glad you said that keep keep the doors open
for abundance. A lot of people that keep a lot
of doors closed. Like all right, you just opened your
mouth and says something that the other person did.

Speaker 2 (13:08):
Not want to hear.

Speaker 1 (13:08):
And now you just fucked up the future for yourself.
Fucking up the future is a thing, y'all know that.
Fucking up? Stop speaking? Yeah, stop sometimes people gotta stop speaking.
You fucking up the future. You're fucking up the potential
that you could have in different situations. And I see
this shit happen for a lot of people. Stop fucking

(13:28):
up the future. Maybe if you stop over Okay, let's
talk about this over sharing. That's what a lot of
y'all do when you first meet the person. They don't
got to know everything about you when you first meet them.
Ease that shit on that and shit, yeah, y'all beat shit. Yeah, Mo,
let's get into this Shiit rayham Sores. I don't know
how to say y'all names, but whatever come up. Let's
have this conversation through people sabotaged level before it fails. Mo,
what you got to say about this before we start continuing?

(13:50):
And anybody that want to come up from the bottom,
invite them up. GG, Travis, Melinda, Valerie, you guys can
come up and we can have this combo. Do people
sabotage love before it fails?

Speaker 2 (14:00):
Let's go, Yeah, they do.

Speaker 5 (14:02):
Think about trauma survival mode, right, people who can deeply
hurt often operate I'm sorry under survival mode. A lot
of people are in survival mode. There are a lot
of people who are unhealed even who come into this
space and they are in survival mode. And so no
matter what it is, like what you said, your job, family, friends, whatever,

(14:23):
you will sabotage love before it can fail because you
want to have control of the outcome. Fear of success.
Some people fear stability. Let me see growth, accountability, Like
those are things that they fear.

Speaker 1 (14:36):
That they'll So let's talk about that accountability piece. Why
do people fear the accountability? Like why not face your fears? Like, Okay,
you know you did something wrong, it ain't gonna hurt
your ego to to you know what I mean? Like
I don't know people just.

Speaker 5 (14:49):
Because it feels unfamiliar, Therefore it feels unsafe. Real love
can feel intimidating. And yeah, a part of real love
is accountability. Help you stability like they're not ready for that?

Speaker 1 (15:03):
Yeah, true to grow up too. It's like maturity is everything.
If you ain't ready for it, then don't get into
a relationship with anyone. If you're not ready for that ship.
For people sabotage at all time.

Speaker 5 (15:13):
Hey, everybody, I'm from Morocco.

Speaker 1 (15:23):
Conversation. I don't care if you're from Morocco. I don't
care if you're from Canada. If you come up here,
please let's stick to the topic. Esna, would you like
to talk about this even more? And Lucky are you
available as well? Do people sabotage love? And what have
you guys seen out there?

Speaker 6 (15:37):
What?

Speaker 2 (15:38):
What's? What's? What's the way that people sabotage the love?

Speaker 3 (15:41):
What has?

Speaker 1 (15:41):
What has some people will have? What was the way
that you guys saw right? Mo and a god just
sabotaged everything?

Speaker 14 (15:48):
Love?

Speaker 1 (15:49):
Everything before the ship to even get anywhere and talk
to me, let's have a combo.

Speaker 2 (15:53):
I'll be and write some more people in let's go.

Speaker 5 (15:55):
I bet you think about this. They must take chaos
for love. If you grew up in a toxic environment
where it was like emotional roll coaster, dysfunction, health, inconsistency
from your parents, your mother, your father, whoever. Healthy love
feels boring, so it creates unnecessary conflicts. I've always said

(16:17):
that you miss missus turper calm, well, lack of passion.
So those are some things that sabotage the good because,
like I said, the bad feels familiar, and a lot
of us are okay, we'll be in a familiar place.
Some people are content, they like to say stagnant because
because of that, right, But at the end of the day,
they're doing more damage than good to themselves in a

(16:38):
long run, and if they truly hear themselves, they can be,
you know, around great love, because everybody deserves a love at.

Speaker 7 (16:44):
The end of the day.

Speaker 2 (16:46):
I don't think everybody deserves love. I'm gonna push back
on you.

Speaker 1 (16:49):
I feel like a lot of niggas deserve trash like
that y'all say, y'all, I hear that. A lot of
niggas ave nae y'all to see how these motherfuckers act
on here, y'all see these motherfuckers mindsets and what they
get Dad they couldn't even do with Come on, I
don't think everybody deserves I think everybody deserves a trash can.
I think some of y'all deserve trash cans. No napkins,
trash can trash cans and covers, lay in the trash

(17:10):
like it's because it's the mindsets. I hear right here,
I'm not tripping, black sheep. Tell me from tripping, end though,
tell me and from tripping y'all hear these people on
here all the time.

Speaker 2 (17:18):
They're crazy.

Speaker 1 (17:19):
They're nuts, and and and then and then and then
on top of that, they think, oh, I'm I supposed
to have this, i'mupposed to have that.

Speaker 2 (17:25):
No, you nae you not.

Speaker 1 (17:26):
You sabotage everything before you get it. You're like a
virus like COVID nineteen mm hmm.

Speaker 5 (17:32):
They definitely like a virus. You can say that again.

Speaker 2 (17:37):
But you see, Mo, you too nice, Mo. That's why
I like having you around.

Speaker 1 (17:42):
I'm mean, I don't think nobody deserves love, you feel me,
especially because they're shitty.

Speaker 2 (17:46):
They shitty people. I've seen too much people do shitty
shit them, don't. I don't believe nothing else. People that
show their hand quick as soon as they can mold
you too nice. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (18:05):
You could be nice all you want, but no, I'm
keeping in the hunting. They people shitty and they get
the shitty results. Lucky said that. We was talking about
that shit earlier. Niggas always acting like they're gonna be
doing this and doing that.

Speaker 2 (18:15):
No, they not. They shitty people and they always want
to act like they deserve this or that. No, you don't.

Speaker 1 (18:22):
Let's get into this shit though. How are you feeling lucky?
Dresna black endo Oth, Let's get into this convo.

Speaker 2 (18:27):
How y'all feel? Do people sabotage before? It feels?

Speaker 7 (18:30):
There's some other there's some other ways that.

Speaker 11 (18:32):
There's some other ways that people sabotage too, Like there's
some men, like you know, thirst is another sabotage as well, like.

Speaker 2 (18:42):
Break that down, just thirst What do you mean by thirsty?

Speaker 6 (18:45):
When men?

Speaker 11 (18:45):
Yeah, when men are like to thirsty, like you met
them like a few weeks ago, and they're blowing up
your phone and they falling in love like too quickly.

Speaker 2 (18:55):
Hey, Justina, I got a question for you. Do you
think this? Do you think cool?

Speaker 1 (19:00):
Do you think that some women are leading men on
too fast? Okay, if he's blowing up your phone, why
give him? Did you give him access? You probably give
him access to the pussy? Come on, just then, don't
play with me.

Speaker 7 (19:15):
Stop playing no way?

Speaker 12 (19:22):
All right?

Speaker 7 (19:23):
All right, No, I totally agree with that.

Speaker 11 (19:25):
So then so then it's like once you do that,
the motherfucker may end up on your front porch in
the morning because it was so good.

Speaker 7 (19:33):
Like, oh, so now this gotta be mine? Is that
what you're saying?

Speaker 2 (19:36):
I mean, you created all of the chaos women. I
feel like more women create the chaos.

Speaker 3 (19:40):
Y'all.

Speaker 1 (19:40):
Give the men access, then it's chaos after that if
you can't control it, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 11 (19:45):
Yeah, so that's that's definitely another way that somebody had
sabotaged something that coulda been great.

Speaker 5 (19:50):
He was just way too thirsty, like.

Speaker 7 (19:52):
Yeah, I want, yeah, I want to take you out.

Speaker 11 (19:54):
You need to be mine.

Speaker 5 (19:55):
I do, like, I don't even know.

Speaker 2 (19:57):
You like that?

Speaker 13 (19:57):
Bro, Nah fuck that, you can't.

Speaker 4 (20:00):
I am no woman for no vegan, for no man
being the weak ass bitch.

Speaker 5 (20:04):
You cannot blame one man got my back.

Speaker 4 (20:06):
You never gonna blame no woman because this man can't
control his motherfucking mental and himself and himself.

Speaker 7 (20:12):
He has no discipline, He.

Speaker 2 (20:14):
Has no.

Speaker 4 (20:16):
No, no, no self control, no discipline. He is a
weak minded motherfucker. You cannot blame a woman for being
a weak minded. I'm not gonna stand to that.

Speaker 13 (20:29):
I'm not gonna allow you to do that.

Speaker 1 (20:37):
Niggas do be thirsty though lucky little to what she
was saying, no, And I feel like that fucks up
situations too. It's like, all right, when y'all niggas is
too thirsty for it, Like I was saying, mo last time,
I said, I feel like the woman need to be
into you a little bit more than you're You know
what I'm saying. Then the man's into them because like
when you're too thirsty, she gonna feel like she you
wanted them.

Speaker 15 (20:54):
Goofy nigga, Like many scare me a nigga, that nigga
that's two thirsty, Scam me a nigga that's trying to
move too fast, scared of the entire holy hell out
of me.

Speaker 4 (21:07):
Because maybe like like you trying to you like like
you're trying to push up on me. You getting real fresh,
real fast, like niggas you cool, Like that makes me
think like you got something Like nigga, that's making me
feel like you got something like what you what you're
trying to what you need to trying to speedball me
into into a trying bitch?

Speaker 12 (21:25):
What's with you?

Speaker 3 (21:26):
Is you cool?

Speaker 4 (21:27):
You don't even know each other and you're trying to
spend the night at my house. You don't know if
I got some wild ass niggas that's ready to come
kicking my door if I don't asking my fallow on
the second ring, Nigga, you don't fucking know me. Niggas
be trying to speed They like like bullet train a
bitch into into a fucking relationships where they got raw
access to a bitch and then they do. They're trying

(21:48):
to do that ship about a second day, walked off
gat you got yesterday, but now you want to be
all a dancing around the fucking corner, bitch is now cool?
They do not be gone?

Speaker 1 (22:06):
Yeah, they do be trying to sleep out your house
on the second day. You know what I'm saying? How
y'll feel? Oh?

Speaker 2 (22:10):
What's up?

Speaker 3 (22:10):
Man?

Speaker 2 (22:10):
You got something to say to this?

Speaker 5 (22:14):
Actually, I think, like Lucky said most most of it.

Speaker 1 (22:17):
For real For me on, niggas be fucking up a
lot of ship. Thank you for that, Lucky. I'm dredging
to a black end. Though y'all want to hop into
people sabotage love before it feels I feel like they do. Man,
I want to see how y'all feel.

Speaker 16 (22:31):
I do.

Speaker 17 (22:31):
I think, I think a lot of people are okay
with dysfunction, so when they meet somebody who's not who's functional,
they body don't know how to react to that. They
don't know how to process healthy illness. I don't know
if I'm making sense, but I don't think they know

(22:52):
how to process somebody who is healthy, who's healed, who
knows how to communicate, who knows how to who's who's
respectable or loyal. I don't think a lot of people
are used to that. So when they, you know, when
they get the person, they don't know how to handle
that person. I think that's what be happening. And then

(23:12):
I think it's a lack.

Speaker 1 (23:13):
Of compatibility too, So yeah, I think I think it's
that too. More I think I agree. I agree with
the lack of a compatibility. It's like y'all know, y'all
not supposed to be together. And I know a lot
of people say opposite is a track, opposite track, but
like when they are two opposite, get the fuck out
of there. Y'all don't be knowing when it's too opposite?
Does that make sense? And they like too opposite, like, okay,

(23:34):
this is you have nothing to do with me. This
ain't got nothing, just don't feel right. But people stay
that that's a red flag.

Speaker 2 (23:40):
You know.

Speaker 4 (23:42):
No, people want sit up there and stay with somebody
that's too opposite of them because and I see this
more with man that it's probably because I that's what
I like. I like man, I don't pay attens and
a woman like that. But I see that more and
so with me and like men will sit up there
and know blamely that a woman does not like them,
don't want to fuck with them, But they're trying to

(24:04):
force theirself into this woman life by any means fucking necessary,
hoping to do whatever the fucking is, whatever fucking circus
act that he got in.

Speaker 6 (24:14):
His head plan to do.

Speaker 4 (24:15):
He hoped that that changed her so she's compatible, so
she become more compatible with him, and he could stay
with her. No, baby, if a woman is not compatible
with you and she's not willing to change without you
asking for you, you are you trying to change that
woman is just gonna lead to a motherfucker losing a

(24:37):
fucking mind, Because if that woman ain't already trying to
change for you, you gotta constantly bag her that miss
don't like you, or that man don't like you.

Speaker 17 (24:47):
I think fear of missing out. And it's like sometimes
you might have to take that ill and move around, but.

Speaker 13 (24:56):
They don't be missing out.

Speaker 4 (24:57):
And though because let me tell you something, you can't
missing on something that that was meant for you, your blessing.
It was for you is all it's gonna be for you.
So you if you missed something, that means it wasn't
for you to begin with. That wasn't for you, so

(25:21):
you shouldn't. I don't understand how people have a fear
of missing out, because let me tell you something, baby,
if I missed something that that means God didn't have
that in the program for me.

Speaker 7 (25:30):
Baby, it wasn't meant for me.

Speaker 3 (25:34):
I don't want shit.

Speaker 4 (25:34):
That's meant that that's not meant for me. And mother fathers,
I think it's I think it's I think it comes
down to motherfucker.

Speaker 12 (25:41):
They they.

Speaker 3 (25:44):
They have what uh they they think options?

Speaker 2 (25:48):
Uh.

Speaker 7 (25:49):
They think they have an abundance of the how can
I say it?

Speaker 4 (25:54):
They they believe it's better to have an abundance of
options more so than have was just.

Speaker 6 (25:58):
Right for you.

Speaker 4 (26:00):
They want they want it all rather than getting what's
just right for you and that's where people be fucking
up at They be trying to sit up there and
get every little thing what's meant for them and what
was not meant for them, and then they end up
sucking theirself out of what was actually meant for them.

Speaker 1 (26:22):
I agree with you, Lucky, it's like that ship. Yeah,
I think you're right, Lucky. That is that is that
is that is correct? Who else wants to come in?
Thank you for that, Lucky Mo? How do you feel
about that? Let's continue that conversation on what she said.
Do people sabotaged love before you get feel what you
feel like?

Speaker 5 (26:41):
I agree with everything she said. Was meant for you
obviously going to be for you no matter what, no
matter how the universe may play your cards, nothing that's
meant for you will ever be taken away from you.
Some people never seen real little model, you know what
I'm saying. So if your parents and communication a commitment,

(27:02):
they don't know how to sustain the relationship, they don't
be a partner who's working together, then obviously you know
they weren't talk talk correctly. This is what it is.
I don't think a lot of people saw a partnership
growing up in their home with mother and father, grandma
or grandpa, auntie, uncle, whatever the case may be. I

(27:25):
don't think they saw that, so unfortunately, you can't blame
them for what they don't know. But when you know better,
you do better. So at some point in your life
you should have learned the correct way to, you know,
be a better person. Give a hundred percent.

Speaker 2 (27:51):
All right?

Speaker 1 (27:51):
Self sabotage and does it ruin all relationships? Ryan, come
up and come talk to me, Bro Linda. Sure, anybody
that wants to come up, y'all can come up. But
self sabotage does it ruin relationships? When you're going in
with this negative mindset, when you're going in and just
already thinking things are gonna fail and you don't have
any hope for the goddamn future. I want to know
that self sabotaging ruin relationships, ruin any type of relationships.

(28:17):
It don't matter if it's a business one. If you're
trying to vet somebody, trying to be with somebody, self sabotage,
what does it do? Let's talk. Let's have an open start. Congo,
who want to come in next? Jasna Black and the
Otch has Mo lucky. Anybody that wants to come up
from the bottom two, y'all can come up prints what up?
Anybody that wants to talk about this, Let's talk about

(28:37):
this topic. Self sabotage. Does it ruin relationships? Does it
help relationships? Are you avoiding something? Are you fucked up?
I don't know, y'o. I've seeing a lot of shit
and I want to get to this shit quick, right,
I'm passing it to y'all.

Speaker 2 (28:53):
MO, what do you feel like? Is the part?

Speaker 1 (28:55):
Is the number one self sabotaging thing that people do
in relationships? What's the number? What's one of the top.
It's one of the top things they do to sabotage
that relationship and for the shit to just go south quick.

Speaker 2 (29:04):
Let's talk about that.

Speaker 5 (29:06):
I feel like they feel intimacy more than they fear
a failure. Getting too close to somebody. Being means you're
just being seen, You're being understood. Intimacy is very scary
during getting your heartbreak for some people. So, like I said,
sabotage always feels better because it's a familiar territory to them.

Speaker 2 (29:27):
Have you ever self sabotaged yourself?

Speaker 5 (29:30):
I have in my early twenties of it, absolutely.

Speaker 3 (29:36):
Well.

Speaker 5 (29:37):
I pushed back when you had a good thing in
your life. If you get pushback because of the past
trauma which ended the relationship, So you know, learning to communicate,
not to check out to an early relationship, actually have
a partnership, not fearing to be seen, not fearing to

(29:57):
be understood and be heard, havings, want to accept your
flaws and now thinking that it's too good to be true.
But in reality, you deserve that, you deserve the best,
and so once you learn that, you know you just
do better.

Speaker 2 (30:19):
Thank you for that, Mom.

Speaker 1 (30:20):
Is anybody else that want to come in and talk
about this that self sabotaging does it ruin relationships? Anybody
can jump in, doesn't matter how your active. Justna Black Prince,
you're active. That's coming on this topic self sabotage. How
y'all feel about it? If anybody's active?

Speaker 2 (30:40):
Else the word.

Speaker 9 (30:44):
Self sabotage, I'm gonna say, it's like when people is
with and they with somebody and they looking for a
problem with them and it ain't nothing there, looking for
the issue that's not there because a lot of times
and people are so used to taking els, don't know
how to accept their victory or their w they're so
used to the l's and the disappointments, so when they

(31:05):
meet somebody that's kind of showing up in a way
for them that they're not used to, they have like
a two this is too good to be true moment, like, Nah,
there's no way you just good of a person. There's
no way that you checking off my boxes. Something wrong
with you, Like, let me, let me find something wrong
with you, because there's no way this is this is real.
I'm not used to this. And then they just fucked

(31:26):
the whole ship up because instead of accepting that this
person is doing good, you just you try to sell
you sabotaged it, trying to look for a problem in
them that wasn't there self.

Speaker 5 (31:39):
Sound, I agree with you. They also struggle with emotional regulation.

(32:05):
Some never learned to manage trustor conflict. Right, So let's
think about it. When you have a small issue, usually
when you so sabotage, you blow things out of proportion,
making bigger than what it really is. And that's an
uncomfortable situation to be and those emotions are uncomfortable. So
before I get to that space, I'd rather just push

(32:26):
you away and I face the reality of you know,
my delusion in a sense, because you're being delusion when
you overthink things, and it's not that big of a deal.

Speaker 2 (32:50):
Hot set is lived ways just I'm black.

Speaker 1 (32:52):
If y'all want to still come in, y'all can, or
rather just be here or muther be here on this
for a little while. But y'all want to continue to
come of, y'all can't. But self sabotage is real. This
shit happens every time. It happens more often, do you think,
especially when people are starting relationships or trying to figure
out a person, they're already fucking it up before the
shit be getting nowhere.

Speaker 5 (33:16):
I mean usually when you're self sabotaged. People don't trust
their own judgment. People have a history of choosing the
wrong people. So if I have a history of choosing
the wrong people, I doubt my ability to recognize a
healthy love. So instead of me trusting myself, I sabotage
feels good because I'm waiting for it to take a turn,

(33:37):
like I'm waiting for something bad to happen. It's like
it's too good to be true. In the sense of
trust your inner, you know, woman's intuition or viceressul with
the main, trustfull in your self, trust your thoughts, trust
your feelings, and you know, do better.

Speaker 2 (34:09):
Burke was good Black. What's the word?

Speaker 5 (34:15):
Hey Burke? What do you think about the topic, Johnny,
I'm self sabolg.

Speaker 7 (34:27):
Yeah, I think.

Speaker 16 (34:29):
I think self sabotaging does ruin relationships. Honestly, I think
they have the possibility. Actually they actually do. They're ruined
relationships before they even start. And that's where it goes
wrong because it's like in the talking stage. I think,

(34:49):
like someone said, like we choose the wrong people and
or you know, we later find out maybe someone wasn't
right for us, or we're just not compatible with you know,
depending on how the situation ended or how it went,
it could call us you know, maybe some PTSD due
to that, you know, we just tend to self sabotage
just based off of you know, it becomes like a

(35:12):
subconscious thing. Also, I think, you know, there are people
who it's kind of like, you know, the reality is
a lot of times more than none, you have people
who aren't true with their intentions with you, and that
can also cause you your self sabotage because you're you're
you're always questioning their intentions and if someone might have

(35:33):
pure intentions, but it's like wait, wait, like you know
you're being too nice to me, like you're things are
just going too well. Something we're so used to having
something bad or something happened to where we're just like
you know, we just end up self sabotage.

Speaker 1 (35:50):
And as have you ever saw Well loved Jessna Well, Burke,
everybody but Burke? Have you ever sabotaged the situation before
it even got to where it needs to be to
like thinking this shit ain't it ain't what it is
or just kind of like tricking yourself out of your spot,
not to be disrespectful in your business or anything, but like.

Speaker 2 (36:10):
Have you ever did that before?

Speaker 7 (36:13):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (36:13):
I have.

Speaker 16 (36:14):
I'm it comes from I never really know people's true intentions,
and I and I never feel like I understand I
really know people's true intentions. So for me, I tend
to self sabotage a hell of a lot because it's like,
all right, cool for my understanding. It's like all right,

(36:36):
I'm not gonna let you. You know, I'm not gonna
give you the chance to fucking do me dirty or whatever,
like I'm gonna I'm gonna end the situation or I'm
gonna call the shit out before it happens. And sometimes
with calling, like with just always assuming that someone has
bad intentions, like I just you know, I always assume
that someone's intentions aren't pure, and some times it's just,

(37:01):
you know, it just spoils down to maybe people don't
Maybe people the way people show love isn't the way.

Speaker 7 (37:07):
I receive love. I receive love or I receive.

Speaker 16 (37:10):
You know, maybe the way someone shows interest isn't the
way I want to receive interests. And I think just
those are just conversations that need to be had.

Speaker 2 (37:21):
Well, thanks for that, Bert h. How you feel about that?

Speaker 1 (37:24):
Rico without my brother Jasna Black True, anybody that wants
to come in on this conversation.

Speaker 2 (37:29):
Anybody could come up.

Speaker 1 (37:30):
We're having an open style pop coorse conversation, gender war style.

Speaker 2 (37:34):
Anybody could jump in.

Speaker 1 (37:34):
Self sabotage and does it ruin relationships? Have you ever
self sabotaged yourself? Have you ever seen one of your
friends have sabotage themselves? And do people even do this?
I've seen it a lot. I just want to hear
some of you guys opinions or self sabotage. So anybody
could jump in. Does anybody else want to come in?
Doesn't matter who you are, let's go.

Speaker 3 (37:55):
I think it starts waiting for the relationships starts.

Speaker 18 (37:59):
People always speak of it as like something that I
mess up in a relationship because I think it's too
good for me to my great problems. You select the
wrong person knowing they're not good, you already self sabotaged
and your mere choice before the relationship even begins. Self
sabotage started early when you knew that person.

Speaker 3 (38:19):
Wasn't right for you.

Speaker 18 (38:20):
You've already made a conscious effort to self sabotage. You
know what's going on. You know that person isn't the
right person for you. But yeah, you you chose to
engage in that anyway. You chose to entertain it anyway.
So to me, I think it starts long before, even
before the relationship begins. If you make a choice of

(38:41):
someone that you know that pretty much, and then I
think your wish for thinking thinking that things are going
to maybe you will be proven wrong, or maybe your
intuition or your gut it's miss you know it's not right.
I think people speak on it as if things are
going great and they're going too good, and I don't

(39:03):
like that the fact I'm being treated so well, So
let me create a problem because I'm undeserving or I'm
not used to this type of treatment. I think that
could happen, But I think most likely you go into
a relationship before it even begins.

Speaker 3 (39:19):
And you're like, oh, like I know this person, like
I know, but.

Speaker 18 (39:24):
You know, you get some signs or signals we like
to say red flags, but I think that's where it begins,
in the early stages, and then we just hope and
pray that or we think that maybe things will come around,
or maybe this person isn't who we actually think they are.

Speaker 3 (39:41):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (39:51):
Thank you for that, brother Rico. Does anybody else that
wants to come in? Let's continue this conversation. Self sabotage
does it rule relationshiationships? If you ever self sabotage something.
People sab sabotage every day, especially when it comes to relationships.
Talk too much, over share too much, let people know
too much, turns them off. Then now you're left without

(40:14):
a partner. Well, how are you feeling about this? I'll
paying the room up, share a room up, let's go.

Speaker 5 (40:20):
I also think if we look at it from a
different perspective. Some people think when they so sabotage that
they're protecting the other person, and when I mean it,
I say, huh, they feel like I only hurt them more.
They deserve better, you know. So some people feel like
if I walk away, then I can call some less pain,

(40:44):
let's conflict, let's trauma. So you know, I can look
at it from that perspective as well.

Speaker 1 (41:04):
Do you feel like self sabotageding creates a lot of
issues were in today's data, which y'all feel like, wec
the issue in today's day, like what's going on?

Speaker 2 (41:14):
It's like it's a huge issue of birth. It's a
huge issue. I want to know from ya. Self sabotaging
a huge issue in data?

Speaker 3 (41:22):
What's going on?

Speaker 5 (41:23):
I'm not going to say it's a huge issue. It
is an issue, but I think there are other issues
that we can talk about that sabotage. Dating communication is
one of them. Not having a partnership together, it's a
second one. So self sabotaging is definitely a part of that,
but it's not like for me, it's not the main issue.
I think some people who so sabotaged they believe love

(41:47):
requires suffering, and if I grew up in an environment
where I was attacked, struggle or even conflict, mine would
be like, maybe good love isn't easy, maybe it's not
even maybe I'm not worthy enough to even have this
type of love. So I'm just going to protect the

(42:09):
healthy love because it's a challenge and I'm not willing
to step up to the plate and better myself.

Speaker 18 (42:17):
Yeah, I think there are certain expectations on both sides,
but especially I think in particular especially with men to
women that men know they can't meet or they know
that's unrealistic, or they know that they're working too hard
to achieve to a woman lifestyles, time, romantic investment, all

(42:39):
these things, and so you're just trying to wing it
and to a point to where you can't do it anymore.
You do it for as long as you can until
you realize that I can't do it, and you're hoping
that maybe you get the benefit before she realizes it,
or you're trying.

Speaker 3 (42:56):
To kind of like pull the wool over her eyes
or whatever.

Speaker 18 (42:59):
Even if if I don't agree with those expectations to me,
you set yourself up for the moment that you thought
you could fulfill them like I don't.

Speaker 3 (43:06):
I don't.

Speaker 18 (43:08):
I think the biggest let down in relationship stacks is
people that don't align. They don't align, but they force
the alignment. And when you force something that, to me
that doesn't naturally fit or isn't a fit, I think
it's only a matter of what time. That doesn't mean
that you guys are not going to be able to
go do things. I just think that it's take way

(43:30):
too much work and effort to keep it floating. Then
it would naturally if it was just already kind of
working on its own. I think relationships that people try
too hard to make things kind of work. I think
those relationships were never meant to be because really, if
someone cares about you and like you, they just like you.

(43:52):
It's like being around you. They're like hanging with you.
They're like spending time with you. It doesn't matter what
that time is at. I don't give a damn if
you gross the store, you go in the convenience store,
the gas station. It's just the fact that we together.
Then then you have a group of people that, ah,
I like hanging with you. But there's a caveat where

(44:13):
are we going?

Speaker 3 (44:14):
What are we doing.

Speaker 18 (44:16):
If it's something that that that that I consider to
be important enough, I'll go along for the ride. Those
are the relationships that I think that are sabotaging themselves
even before they get off the ground.

Speaker 1 (44:34):
I agree, wow, yeah, I agree with Rico ray moo, Yeah,
before they even get off the ground. And the alignment
part more, it's like, if it's like fine people with
why the fuck are you dating people that are not
in alignment with you? Don't got nothing in common with you?
I know, opposite a track, But man, that ship gotta
go out the window. I want to be attracted to
somebody that got something in common with me.

Speaker 2 (44:53):
I don't get it.

Speaker 5 (44:54):
More opposite a track though, And that's okay, And it
does because you are an opposite that you don't align
with that individual. I feel like people who self sabotage
they worry about the fact that they can maintain the

(45:15):
version of themselves that their partner sees. So they can't
keep this facade up, this illusion of an individual that
they are. They don't want to really reveal that their
true identity. They don't want to disappoint their partner, right,
they don't want that rejection. What if he can't accept
who I am? What if he can't accept my flaws,

(45:37):
the real me? And so I'm gonna sabotage it just
to avoid future disappointment. A lot of people are scared
to be accepted with flaws and if somebody really knew
who you were and setting out everything you've been through
in life, people are scared of the rejection, and sabotaging
is very easy for somebody to do because they are

(45:58):
protecting themselves in the sense of disappointment.

Speaker 6 (46:05):
Yeah.

Speaker 18 (46:05):
I also think the moment a woman can't not put
on makeup to see you, it's a problem. I think
of who you present yourself to be on social media
is a problem. I'm being serious. More like you, you
and your natural state. It's you, I understand. Like the
cat fishing, the filters, all these are leading up to

(46:27):
me creating a false premise of who you really are.
The money, the the the lifestyle. You don't lead all
these things. I'm a great conversationalist. I'm this, I'm that,
I go to the gym. I call it time fishing.
You posted that picture from two years ago, that's not

(46:48):
that's not you current todate.

Speaker 3 (46:51):
You know what I mean. So now just that I
would hate you know, I would hate to.

Speaker 18 (46:56):
I think it's a disconnect the moment I meet a
woman and she can't just come outside the way that
she looks, because ultimately, that's who I have to be with,
not this dolled up version that you take two hours
to put your face on or to like find what
you're gonna wear and do your hair. I understand you
want to look good, but you're gonna do that every

(47:17):
time we have to run out.

Speaker 3 (47:18):
There go get something to eat. I'm talking about go
through a drive through it.

Speaker 2 (47:22):
Yes, no, Rico, they're gonna keep doing that, that five
hour get ready.

Speaker 3 (47:25):
It doesn't make any sense because ultimately, you can't leave
your face on my pillow. You can't.

Speaker 18 (47:32):
You have to actually be who you are. I have
to see you as you are, like in your purest form,
the way you were born. I have to be able
to see that. And if that's like an insecurity or
something that you're lacking within yourself, what's gonna happen the
moment that I see you without it? And if if
it's drastic enough to make me go wait a minute,

(47:54):
like oh my god, like your wig came off, your
face came off that that right, there is a discussion
within itself.

Speaker 3 (48:02):
So I don't I'm not trying to be the same thing.
Go for me, same thing, Go for me.

Speaker 18 (48:09):
What if I picked a woman up in a rental
like a car, I rented some type of luxury vehicle.

Speaker 3 (48:13):
I pick you up, and I'm doing all these things, and.

Speaker 18 (48:16):
You like, oh, and I paid a guy to a
man act like I got clout dog, bring this girl here,
move this red velvet rope over, and then let us
send this table back here, and add like you know
my name, and I'm just going through this whole fucking
you know, charade, and then like you like, damn, this
motherfucker really is somebody you know, And then like you

(48:38):
come in and you realize, you know, it's just a
joe schmoke guy who works a regular job that's.

Speaker 3 (48:45):
Gonna be let you down a little bit too. So
I don't. I think people should just be where they
are and sooner the better.

Speaker 8 (48:53):
You know.

Speaker 18 (48:54):
Honestly, I know we might not like it, but it
really is always the best policy. Be you and let
the person decide that that's the you that they want
or not.

Speaker 3 (49:02):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (49:12):
I agree with Rigo mo be who you are. Don't
pretend to be nobody else. Ain't that guy, don't be
that guy's not that girl. Just don't be that girl.
You know so well, said Rico. Who else want to
come in?

Speaker 16 (49:26):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (49:27):
Do people destroy love to protect their ego? They want
to protect their ego. Let's talk about that brank you therein,
mo Rico. I know y'all stay here or whatever. But yeah,
do people destroy love to protect their ego, protect how
they feel, Protect maybe the last relationship, protect maybe getting

(49:48):
hurt again.

Speaker 2 (49:49):
Let's get into this.

Speaker 5 (49:51):
Absolutely they do. People hate being vulnerable. We hear it
on this app all of them time. How men and
women can be vulnerable, especially men because we weaponize it
against them. Love requires honesty, openness, and truly being emotional
in the sense of having that safe space creative for

(50:12):
you so that you can feel comfortable even giving that
version of you right. I feel like your ego is
built for a defense, and when someone you love asks
you to open up, sometimes the ego steps in and
be like, nah, I can't do that. It's too risky
because of the trauma that they that they have experienced

(50:33):
with their past partners, and until they heal themselves and
that trauma is always going to be too risky.

Speaker 18 (50:46):
This one's tricky, and I think they both tie and
to the other stacks. Because I'm gonna be honest. I
think women fall in love with men's egos. They don't
fall in love with the deep. That's deep, so what's thats.

Speaker 6 (51:01):
Y?

Speaker 3 (51:05):
Yeah, I think they fall in love with who they
present to be.

Speaker 18 (51:09):
I think that a man that constantly expresses himself to
a women that some women may be the tour from
that they may see him as less than somebody that
they want to be with.

Speaker 3 (51:18):
I think if she loves you and you're vulnerable, then
that then that then that'll add to it.

Speaker 18 (51:22):
But I think if I was to start off with
a woman exactly who I am, I don't think women
are so open to that. I think they like to
make it seem like they're so open to that to
try to get the men that they really like to
be vulnerable. So like, I think men come with a
this kind of persona or like this type of vibe

(51:43):
or this type.

Speaker 3 (51:44):
Of thing, and that's what they like.

Speaker 18 (51:46):
But now, how can I get this tough guy, this
god that's closed off to express himself to me? If
I started off expressing myself to you, I'd be the
soft nigga. I'd be the chump. Now, oh, this nigga's
a herd. Like if I just started that way prematurely,
you'll be like, why are you telling me all this shit?

Speaker 6 (52:06):
Like why?

Speaker 3 (52:07):
But that's usually would be my personality, me being expressive.

Speaker 18 (52:13):
You can't make someone open up who hasn't learned that
it's okay to open up. You can't change people men relationship.
Who I am and who I am so the way
you meet me. So if you meet me as a
man that's expressive of these things, you have to be
accepting of those things early. I'll continue to do that
because then you'll be the woman that'll accept that. Some

(52:34):
women meet men a certain way and they'd be like, oh,
why is he so closed off and he's not emotionally
available to me. You're trying to change a person into
a man now that you want to be, now that
you have had sex and intimacy with the man. That's
why I think most men start off with women with
this over hype personality. Tough guy, so called street, so

(52:59):
called know everything, so called robotic.

Speaker 1 (53:03):
I don't.

Speaker 18 (53:05):
Words y'all use on the app stoic. I don't have
to show anything. I'm like this, I got it all
figured out.

Speaker 3 (53:12):
Attitude.

Speaker 18 (53:13):
Now once I sell that guy, now you want me
to become the guy that's really the boys the men
slash bryantman Knight, open book of my emotions to you,
because you now find that more attractive to you.

Speaker 3 (53:26):
If I can get this guy to be that to me.

Speaker 2 (53:29):
I don't, I don't, I don't.

Speaker 3 (53:30):
I don't know, y'all.

Speaker 18 (53:32):
I think, you know, I do think ego gets in
the way. But I think a lot of times men's
egos in particular, it's part of the reasons why women
actually fail. For those men, they just try to change
him around later on. I think it's an uphill battle.

(53:56):
These niggas humble they self magic. They start humbling theyself like, yo,
I'm not really all that, just a regular guy.

Speaker 3 (54:06):
You know, I like to do this and I really
like you and I you know, they start talking like that.

Speaker 18 (54:10):
The women are early like you know, I'm just a
guy that really you know, they they you know, you
think women would be accepting of it, Like they just say, hey,
you know no, they talked that shit to women early on,
like yeah, you know what I'm saying, like, mam, just
trying to They got these shit that. Most of men's
talking points are well rehearsed. They've tried it, you know.

(54:34):
To be honest, a lot of women in my personal peed,
the men just went to them humbly, and I was like, Hey,
I really don't have a lot of money. I really
don't do much. I just want to take you out
for ice cream or maybe take you to a park
or huh, you're gonna do what I'm just saying, like
I I you know, I just want to go on
the swings and maybe we can share Chinese food or something.

Speaker 3 (54:57):
I'm just a nice guy who you know, huh like
that shit you have.

Speaker 18 (55:02):
The men have to approach women in a way that
to where they confidence look a certain way before they
even take them serious. They got to have a chip
on their shoulder to even get her attention, because the
shy guy is not going to get anywhere. The guy
that's kind of like not trying too much, the nigga
that the women. If you be in a group setting,

(55:23):
the men that usually say nothing get nothing. And then
the front man is the man that always said girl.
This is where these stories come from.

Speaker 3 (55:34):
Stags.

Speaker 18 (55:35):
Oh I knew he wasn't shit, or I knew he
was that dude. You know why, because that man tried
to use that same line on every woman that he's encounter.
He has practiced those lines and rehearsed those lines over
and over again. He knows exactly what he's saying. That's
the way he's built this confidence. So ego, I think

(55:57):
men have infused that until they carry to in order
to make women look like they're more confident or present
in a different way that they not really authentically are.

Speaker 2 (56:12):
Damn, Rico, thank you for that shit. Spike? What up, Burke?

Speaker 16 (56:15):
What up?

Speaker 2 (56:17):
Do people destroy love to protect their ego? What's up? Spike?

Speaker 3 (56:20):
Man?

Speaker 2 (56:21):
We're talking about this ship. It's been a good congo
so far.

Speaker 19 (56:25):
Do people destroy love to protect that ego? Y'all gonna
have to get back to me all this.

Speaker 1 (56:31):
Man, Yeah, they're definitely doing something. But yeah, Rico, well said, man,
we've been you know.

Speaker 18 (56:42):
You know something, what I've learned that with a lot
of people, if you love that person and you really
care about that person, ego has no place.

Speaker 3 (56:52):
It really doesn't.

Speaker 18 (56:54):
Your pridefulness, your refusal to say I'm sorry, I don't
give a fuck about your argument. I don't care if
you guys are going to work every day and you're
not texting and trying to have the communication. What purpose
does it serve you to carry that all through your day?

(57:14):
It doesn't At some point you're not going to get forward.
You have to say, I don't care who's right and
who's wrong. I need to know you're okay. I want
to know if you ever argue with a woman you
care about or a man you don't, even your day
isn't even going well because the stress you got high
cortissol levels. You're not yourself. You're not in yourself until

(57:40):
you know at least we both agree, we're going to
talk about it and try to make like she's not mad.
That's why I tell people, if y'all argue for you
go to bed and y'all together kiss all right, babe,
we talk about tomorrow.

Speaker 3 (57:52):
At least.

Speaker 18 (57:52):
What that does is open up the door of that
tomorrow we'll have. It's like some of them, we'll get
back to it. If she rolls over it and you
roll over, it creates an unhealthy worriation and anxiety of
what's going to happen the next day, and it's not
good for you. It's not good for your nervous system.
It fucks up your appetite and everything your mental condition.

(58:15):
You're going to work. Nobody should slam the door and
leave that thing unresolved. Fuck being late. Take the fifteen
minutes to sit down and say, hey, I'm sorry. I
didn't mean it that way, it came out that way.

Speaker 3 (58:29):
I'm going to work now. I love you.

Speaker 18 (58:31):
Can we please revisit this at another time that way
I go to my job, You go to your job,
or you go through your daily activities, knowing that we're
still there, We're still mentally and emotionally connected.

Speaker 3 (58:43):
That going these long.

Speaker 18 (58:45):
Periods of time without having the communication for what based
off the fact your pride is getting in the way.
You know, we both want to kiss and cuddle and
do all these things. You're with an a reaching me,
but nobody is reaching for or the other person. First man,
if you don't say fuck that shit and like it's

(59:05):
never really that serious. It's something that got misinterpreted or
was in the heat of the moment, and you're letting
that thing to me destroy the greater thing that could be.
If y'all just say, you know what, I.

Speaker 2 (59:17):
Went a little bit overboard.

Speaker 18 (59:19):
I shouldn't have said those things to you, and I'm
sorry for that, and you should be willing to accept
the policy. Be like, if it ain't that, agree to say, Okay,
I understand, but you hurt my feelings when you said that. Okay,
that's the way we get over this hump. Now, babe,
let's go get this peak so that you like and
let's go laugh about this shit and so we can

(59:40):
come back home and do whatever we do as a couple.
Like this, people will literally, oh, I need to get
some air. And then I get in my car and
I drive off. You know what happens when I drive
off stack, I get on the phone. I call my
homeboy and say, you won't believe what the fuck she
just did? Dog, Man, I ain't man, ain't think about man.
She fucking pissing me off. I'm having the conversation, but

(01:00:02):
I'm having it with everybody but her, you know what
I mean. Fucking man, Oh, brom over here, Man, she talks,
she tripping.

Speaker 3 (01:00:11):
So what happened?

Speaker 18 (01:00:12):
Nobody thought to open the channels of communication. Nobody thought
that they just she just go she get a girl
her girls. You ever see this, Come on, girl, take
you out the house. He got you in here, you
all stressed out. I'm taking you to go get these drinks.

Speaker 3 (01:00:28):
That's what they do.

Speaker 18 (01:00:29):
That's not fixing anything, trying to you, creating more space
between me and you because your friends are trying to
make comfort you by getting you away from me. And
at this point is the point that me and you
should be getting closer together. We should say, yo, let's
go talk about this. I don't care if y'all got
to sit in the car for ten minutes. If you

(01:00:51):
truly love the personal, smile or break the fucking animosity,
A look of breaking a touch will break it, and
you'll realize, Man, this shit not that fucking serious. It's
not that you got people every day I'm gonna lay
hill stressing about their significant other when all this shit
could have been avoided by a simple conversation. Just something simple.

(01:01:11):
Don't have to be much. And I don't think men
should be forced to be in compliance every time to
women that's unhealthy. To send her flowers or do something
nice for her because she thinks she's one, because she's
the woman. For a woman wants to keep a man,
it's okay. And I'm not talking about being half naked
with your ass out in the bed. I'm saying, be

(01:01:31):
a woman. Say hey, babe, I'm sorry I talked to you.

Speaker 3 (01:01:35):
That was wrong.

Speaker 18 (01:01:36):
My tonality was wrong. Do you know how far that'll
go with the man, that you can say that, hey,
I shouldn't have screamed that you like that, that was disrespectful.

Speaker 3 (01:01:46):
I apologize.

Speaker 18 (01:01:48):
Watch how he responds to you saying that that you
apologize that, you say, hey, you grab me and say
you know what, I was wrong.

Speaker 3 (01:01:57):
I shouldn't talk to you that way. You deserve better
than that. Say it.

Speaker 18 (01:02:02):
You can't just come home be like, oh, I made
some cookies and brownies and I put on that thing
you want later on at night. You're you're avoiding the
conversation and you're doing things that you know I like
to try to get me back in your good gracious
without verbally expressing you was disrespectful.

Speaker 3 (01:02:17):
And you was wrong. That's unhealthy. Use your words, use
your words. So I don't know, Stacks, I'm just going
on a rant, but I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:02:28):
Man. Nah, we love your rants.

Speaker 1 (01:02:31):
Speaker, It's okay here, just chilling out gender Wars Late
Night Style. I agree with everything said. More how you
feel about what we goo saying so far? I agree?
You know, I agree with everything. Putting on that thing
you like, not using your words. That's what a lot
of women do now, sabotage your speaker. It's crazy, Mo,

(01:02:57):
you want anything to say from bird SPIKEE are you
feeling before end and ship?

Speaker 2 (01:03:02):
Man, I'm getting tired.

Speaker 3 (01:03:03):
We go spot on, we go spot on with everything
he said. But whenever you have love, that that pride
and that ego, it's not going to exist.

Speaker 19 (01:03:17):
I'm like, unnecessarily, uh, defense, defense walls, that's that's put
up ain't gonna exist when.

Speaker 3 (01:03:23):
It love is real.

Speaker 19 (01:03:25):
So he was absolutely right about I mean, he said
a lot more than that, but that was the main thing.

Speaker 3 (01:03:32):
Yes, at you man, go ahead more, No, that's true.

Speaker 5 (01:03:38):
I the third thing you said, we go ego protects
old wounds. If you've been in band that betrayed last
who hell even disrespected, when real goa shows up, Eagle's
always gonna sabotage it because he remembers the old pain.
So you know, it's unfortunate, but that's what that's where
we're especially in twenty twenty five where you're on this

(01:04:00):
app all the time.

Speaker 17 (01:04:01):
Life skinned people destroy love to protect their egos.

Speaker 16 (01:04:06):
Oh god, oh god, I mean.

Speaker 7 (01:04:12):
Hey, everybody, no shame, man.

Speaker 18 (01:04:16):
I've lost weight, I've lost like I've cursed out supervisors
and everything man behind the fact that I'm stressed out
by a warman, bro, because the communication has failed and
it's a conversation we're not having, and so I'm taking
it out everywhere. Bro, Like I'm irritable, I'm upset. My

(01:04:37):
eating patterns are off, my my sleep patterns are off,
my everything and all it in it. It's just an
ego problem. It's a it's a it's just this thing
where it's this thing where like I refuse to say
or she refused to say, this is stupid, this is dumb,
Like come on, man, And so when that happens, that's

(01:04:57):
why I always say stans. I would never in my life,
and I would tell people this, never in your life.
How relationship with a person that you don't have the
best communication. Communication has to be the priority. It has
to be number one because once that breaks down and fail,
everything else eventually will fail.

Speaker 2 (01:05:14):
Trust me.

Speaker 3 (01:05:15):
It starts from that. Not saying the word.

Speaker 18 (01:05:17):
Even if they, I ain't think gotta be like everything
has to be good communication, but the moment you can't
talk about shit and then you refuse to talk about it,
and what we talk about getting the way because everybody
thinks that hey, you're wrong or I'm wrong or the
and the relationship isn't the priority.

Speaker 3 (01:05:34):
You just fucked up and now and so to me,
learn to talk. Fuck your ego, fuck.

Speaker 18 (01:05:40):
Your pride, throw that shit in the trash can and
shit never really did anything good for anybody anyway.

Speaker 5 (01:05:46):
I agree with you, Remember I said earlier, ego rejects accountability. Well,
it requires apologizing, kill, reflecting on your yourself, your partner,
emitting your mistakes. And a lot of people aren't you know,
they're not there. Hey Christina, Hey rad what are you
laughing about the topic? Do people just roller U ego?

Speaker 20 (01:06:10):
I think that's crazy because like I'm literally going through
that right the fuck now. Like I feel like like
I feel like one of the guys that I'm talking to,
I feel like he I feel like he got a
big ego, and I feel like or maybe I have
a big ego. Maybe my ego is too big.

Speaker 12 (01:06:32):
I don't know, but I agree with the title though,
I definitely agree with that title.

Speaker 3 (01:06:42):
Did somebody just kick what happened?

Speaker 6 (01:06:45):
I don't know.

Speaker 5 (01:06:46):
I think Christine next weeks wiped out.

Speaker 1 (01:06:48):
Oh, I don't know. Before she's talking about blood. Do
people destroy love to protect their ego?

Speaker 2 (01:06:56):
What's going on? More?

Speaker 1 (01:06:57):
Imana Burke Shorty read let's get to this ship. I'm thinking,
room up, let's talk about this. That's the word, bro,
you want to come in?

Speaker 2 (01:07:06):
Was good?

Speaker 7 (01:07:13):
Did this situation happened?

Speaker 16 (01:07:14):
Honestly where I don't know if I self sabotage or
if like this situation just wasn't that like if it
if it just wasn't.

Speaker 7 (01:07:28):
What I thought it was.

Speaker 16 (01:07:31):
So that's that's kind of it was kind of conflicting
because just based off the information given and after we
talked about it, like yeah, so that's why that's my
conflicting thing at the moment, Hold on.

Speaker 7 (01:07:50):
My my bad, y'all.

Speaker 16 (01:07:51):
I'm getting in the room. But so I was talking
to this guy, we linked up. Everything was fine, it
was a group of us, and then he went and
told one of my homegirls like basically how like he
wasn't really feeling me, oh whatever whatever whatever.

Speaker 7 (01:08:13):
So I was like okay, Like what that's weird because
that's not the vibe I got before we left. But okay, cool.

Speaker 16 (01:08:22):
So then you know, we didn't talk because that's my fault,
Like I feel like damn, like I don't gotta talk
to him whatever. And when we did talk, the situation,
it was brought up. The situation was brought up, and
he basically said he got a dry goodbye for me,
and basically certain things like okay, we were talking, but

(01:08:48):
I didn't I didn't make sure he was good or
whatever when we like just like stupid shit. So because
of that, that had me stuck and guessing like, okay,
well shit, me being stand offish, Like.

Speaker 7 (01:09:03):
Was it my fraud?

Speaker 2 (01:09:04):
Did I get the wrong vibes?

Speaker 7 (01:09:06):
And I think, you know, I don't know. I really
don't know.

Speaker 5 (01:09:10):
Do you think you were a stand offish? Obviously you're
self sabotaging a situation because of the things that you've.

Speaker 16 (01:09:16):
Been so for me, like and we and me and
him have had this conversation before, like I said, like, hey,
look at like I'm not I don't really know people's
true intentions when dealing with me, so naturally I'm standoffish,
you know. He kind of he felt like I was

(01:09:37):
just like being like, oh, don't touch me because my
friends were there. But I said, I'm not into PDA,
like I don't want.

Speaker 7 (01:09:44):
To be hugged.

Speaker 16 (01:09:45):
And then he was like, oh, but when we was,
when we was in the room, he was all on me.
I'm like, yeah, but we were, we were together, just us,
Like I'm not I'm not really.

Speaker 7 (01:09:53):
Big on like PDA and lovey dovey and stuff like
that's just not me.

Speaker 16 (01:09:57):
And I'm not someone who's lovey dovey or or who's
like all on the person I'm talking to.

Speaker 5 (01:10:08):
I get that, but I still feel like your ego
is in a way, I feel like what your ego
you hate losom control, so you know, I think I do.

Speaker 16 (01:10:20):
I think that's why it's confusing, because it's just I
don't know if he was really not interested or if
he was really just like, especially based off what he
touched to my homegirl like, oh yeah, well.

Speaker 5 (01:10:33):
I never know until you give it a try. When
you meet somebody, you don't really know that your intentions.
You have to allow time to just flow. You can't
amactly assume in the beginning, so you're sabotaging something before
it even rows. Before it even starts. It's like you
mustle me by yourself because there's no way in the
world that you can't allow the process to happen.

Speaker 12 (01:10:55):
He told your homegirl that he's not feeling you like that.

Speaker 16 (01:10:58):
Yeah, so he basically he told my homegirl. He's like
I'm not really feeling.

Speaker 12 (01:11:02):
Her like that, like basically like he's trying to dirty
back to the homegirl.

Speaker 7 (01:11:07):
Well no, no, no, no, it's not that.

Speaker 16 (01:11:08):
It's not that situation because yes, not that situe, Like
I like, yeah, I thought about.

Speaker 12 (01:11:12):
That because why would he go to your friend knowing
that all.

Speaker 16 (01:11:16):
Oh no, no no, so like yeah, so like no,
he because they've been friends as well.

Speaker 13 (01:11:20):
As they have the same friend sip.

Speaker 7 (01:11:22):
So it's like yeah, like it's it's like.

Speaker 16 (01:11:25):
They've been friends, but it's just like that's my homegirl,
and like it's just kind of like she's like girl,
like I'm a girl's girl, Like that's my homeboy, but
you're my homegirl.

Speaker 7 (01:11:33):
Like I'm not going to sit there and let it
like and not let you know what a nigga said
about you.

Speaker 12 (01:11:37):
Really, I've been friends with the guy that I was
also friends with his girl, and we did shit on
the low and his girl never knew.

Speaker 5 (01:11:46):
It definitely was like something's going on alone because there's
no way in the world.

Speaker 12 (01:11:49):
And then when the girlfriend comes around, I'm playing my
part like your girl, no.

Speaker 7 (01:11:54):
I know, like I know, I know, I know for
a fact it was nothing going on. Like I know
for a fact, you don't know.

Speaker 13 (01:12:02):
That's you're never going to know, and that I might not.

Speaker 12 (01:12:05):
But because that guy, a guy that I talked to,
would never feel even if he knows my homegirl, right,
he'll never feel comfortable to ever go to my homegirl
until my home go Like yo, I'm not feeling in
a friend like that.

Speaker 16 (01:12:20):
He would never It's just but the thing is, they met,
so they met the same time.

Speaker 7 (01:12:26):
We all met, the same thing.

Speaker 5 (01:12:28):
The regardless of the fact, I feel like you're giving
him excuses because all I'm personally at the end of
the day, if that man really was feeling you, he's
not going to your homegirl. Saying that very clear, I
think something's going on. But that's my personal opinion. But
you know, you can cut your losses like you missed out,
you know.

Speaker 13 (01:12:49):
Yeah, that's that's why that's like me, that's what we
put it.

Speaker 12 (01:12:52):
In another way, that's like me got this. That's like
me saying that I met my boyfriend and his friend
at the same time. But then but then I go
behind my boyfriend's back and I tell his homeboy like, Yo, I'm.

Speaker 5 (01:13:06):
Not not feeling him.

Speaker 12 (01:13:08):
I'm not feeling him like that. You know, I'm not
feeling like you think his homeboy is not gonna go
run and tell her the girl like yo, your girl.
She came up to me, bro, and she was like,
she's not feeling you. The story like all types of
things like what because now come back you back to him?
Like I know that if I tell his homeboy anything,

(01:13:28):
it's going to go back to my boyfriend like he's
gonna tell my boyfriend.

Speaker 5 (01:13:33):
That's the fact.

Speaker 7 (01:13:35):
Yeah, no, I understand that.

Speaker 5 (01:13:37):
But it's sometimes we can't be gooble naive about situations.
We can't give people excuses because listen, you don't know
his intentions, but she may not. She may not have
the best intentions for you as well. Like, let's be
very clear, it would be crazy about it.

Speaker 12 (01:13:53):
My boyfriend probably be like, Yo, you're fucking my shorty
because why she feels so comfortable to tell you you
that's what that's what he wants.

Speaker 5 (01:14:03):
Thought, that's the facts.

Speaker 7 (01:14:05):
Yeah, no, I understand that. I just it's like it's
one of those things like.

Speaker 5 (01:14:11):
I watch out for your homegirl, you know. And here's
the thing. When you have a man, your man shouldn't
run out of your friends like that. That's number one.

Speaker 6 (01:14:19):
Well he so we matt through.

Speaker 5 (01:14:22):
Sorry, ma'am, I'm talking. I don't care how we all met.
Like mm mmm, this ain't no threesome relationship. Everybody needs
to around your man, your homegirls. Listen. Some snakes out
here need to learn because listen when they stinks bite
you in the ass, don't get mad. You brought the
sneak around, so that's your fault.

Speaker 2 (01:14:45):
M hm m hmm.

Speaker 5 (01:14:48):
But to the topic, do people pick fights to avoid
being vulnerable? Absolutely, it's easy to pick a fight than
to hold myself accountable. Then it really dig deep with
this ad myself from the emotional and vulnerable to my partner.
So in order for me to protect myself, I'm a

(01:15:09):
bigger fight. That way, you could be mad, I could
be mad, and we can forget about that conversation.

Speaker 1 (01:15:15):
So I was like, mass trickery sounds like fucking mastery.
Witchery is that what really happens that I can see
that happen. People picked away. Yes, you guys will pick
up a fight, find any little thing to get upset
about to avoid Yeah, yep, the good old deflection Jay.
And people will won't even want to take accountability for themself,
but they'll find a fight and want to argue. And

(01:15:36):
then now you're the maniac for trying to hold somebody accountable.
Let's have this conversation, ping the room up, share the room.
I know we late night style, we don't have like
two rooms today, right mo, But let's continue this shit.
Do people pick fights to avoid being vulnerable? Check out
some of the new episodes on the podcast to appreciate y'all.
Anybody can jump in the let's go.

Speaker 5 (01:15:55):
You do fighting feel safer and opening up like people
who have triggers or fear when they're hurt, they're scared.
I'm gonna pick up fight because I don't have to
feel exposed. I don't want my shield to leave the
front of my body. So I'm gonna pick a fight
all day long. So when I'm telling myself accountable. People

(01:16:16):
do it all the time. You hit on this app.
People pick fights to avoid being vulnerable or hell holding
themselves accountable. We deflect all the time on this app.
This app is like a case study this topic is
you see it every day.

Speaker 21 (01:16:32):
People's vulnerability as a as a as a tool to
like be chastised. That's why I ought to be you know,
like to be humiliated. And I feel like that's why
people rather choose fights, Like why would I Why would
I want to be vulnerable? When me being vulnerable, You're

(01:16:53):
gonna use it for whatever purpose you use, you know
what I'm saying, for whatever situation you got going on
for however you want to paint the picture you want
to paint about me, when I'm just literally being vulnerable.
So maybe if somebody else can learn from it and
not do it, not go through it, et cetera, et cetera.
Or it's just me being vulnerable because that's just who
I am, right, But why would I want to be

(01:17:14):
that when it's going to be taken as a and
it's going to be used as a weapon. If we
just literally talking in relationships, in a romantic relationship, when
when you rather pick a fight than being vulnerable is
because there's there's there's trauma there, there's also trauma there, right,
that you haven't been willing and honest about in dealing with.

Speaker 3 (01:17:36):
So guess what you're going to do.

Speaker 21 (01:17:38):
What's in your nature to do is to be defensive,
to fight, to to to survive. You know that that
that situation that's happening because you're uncomfortable and uncomfortability. You
know some people don't like to be uncomfortable, and that's
I think. Yeah, absolutely, people rather pick fights.

Speaker 1 (01:17:55):
Yeah, let's talk about but don't you feel like more
people should be comfortable with being uncomfortab shorty, Like, let's
get to this ship man.

Speaker 3 (01:18:01):
Absolutely.

Speaker 2 (01:18:02):
Yeah, a lot of people and comfortable with it, but.

Speaker 1 (01:18:04):
They need to get comfortable with it because it's it's like, man,
you fucking show up and your fucking situations up.

Speaker 2 (01:18:09):
Let's talk about that real quick. Being comfortable uncomfortable.

Speaker 21 (01:18:12):
Absolutely, But here's the thing, Stack, you talking to a
group of you talking about a society full of individuals, right,
that is performative Stack, So you think with them, let's
go with the minor the minor amount of people that
it's okay with being uncomfortable, right, because they understand that

(01:18:33):
that's going to help them elevate. Guess what those people
chill with them, with the with other people that thinks
the same, right, my like minds think alike. So they're
gonna have their little circle. But the majority we know
people not doing that. Why because again it's gonna help them.
Is like, I got to put in the work, and
some people just don't want to put in the work.

Speaker 2 (01:18:54):
Stack.

Speaker 21 (01:18:55):
That's just being me and honest, some people just don't
want to put the work. The people that do put
the work, guess that's what they're the most iconic people,
and people remember them for just being uncomfortable, for being
in uncomfortable situations and making it and making a way.
This is why, And I'm a land by saying this,
this is why we love to hear people that they
was down in the mud and nobody else was shooting

(01:19:16):
shooting the gym with them, and there was a you know,
good good ankshit people or whatever the case may be,
and they end up being somebody. We love those stories,
right rather than the other side.

Speaker 1 (01:19:30):
M thank you for that, Shorty. Let's continue this conversation.
If you just came up ping the room up, share
the room up for me. Do people pick fights to
avoid vulnerability? Moe Burke, Shorty Red James sc Chucky, Playboy,
Chris Jay, everyone that came through. I appreciate y'all picking
the room up and share the room up if you
guys are on the stage.

Speaker 2 (01:19:46):
But let's continue this conversation. I want to know what
you guys think.

Speaker 1 (01:19:49):
Do people really pick fights to avoid vulnerability or varun being,
you know, looking too weak in front of their partner
or feeling like a sucker or punk ass bitch. I
don't fucking know, but I'm having a good converce with
you guys, and I want to continue to build on this.
Carbo Mo, what you gotta say, you know, or anybody
else that wants to come in, It's on, y'all.

Speaker 2 (01:20:07):
Let's go.

Speaker 5 (01:20:08):
Yeah, picking fight creates distance some people for their intimacy.
I feel like a fight creates that space, that separation emotionally,
it protects people from getting too emotional emotionally connected. I'm sorry.
So if I am self sabotaging, if I am picking fights,

(01:20:31):
I'm not truly ready for a true connection. And so
before I get too emotionally connected with you, too emotionally
invested within you in this relationship, I'm going to pick
all the fights in the world to calls that divide
so that we can separate, right, And it may hurt
me in the long run, but in a sense, it's

(01:20:51):
not really hurting them. It's it's a weird sense of
protection that they have and you're causing trauma on your
partner because of your unhealed self.

Speaker 4 (01:21:06):
Man, I got a lot to say. Thank y'all for sharing. Mo,
I'm gonna take that, But then I'm gonna show you.
The other side of it is that a lot of
people do emotionally connect from the flip side of that
through the arguing because they are emotionally connected to people,

(01:21:31):
A lot of people walk around without boundaries to outgrow
that or behavior. It's like an unhealthy behavior, so they
go and attach to other people, emotionally connect to other people.
To me, from that standpoint of the arguing gets or

(01:21:51):
brings them closer. The arguing it allows them to stay
longer than what they should, so now they're rooted in
the time. The arguing allows them to actually see the
person because I now know how to make you teach,
I now know how to frustrate you. I now know
how to get you to raise your tone to cuss

(01:22:11):
me out. For some people to hit me.

Speaker 6 (01:22:14):
So there is.

Speaker 4 (01:22:17):
Emotional connection there now from the side that you're speaking
on to me and the uncomfortable. The uncomfortable now, I
first I feel like that's because a lot of people
are in pain, this idea that you have to be
uncomfortable because in a healthy interaction, you show up so

(01:22:44):
ready to do the work, like Shorty was saying, you're
so ready to do the work, that transparency is enough
to actually lead to growth. Growth is where true healthy
connection is. Growth. You grow in love, that's the end part.
You're into that person, you know that person that's you're

(01:23:07):
you're peeling back the layers. That's a healthy side. So
transparency is enough. Vulnerability is to me only required because
you wasn't as prepared on the transparency side. So now
because you don't have the boundaries in your life, because
you don't know how to emotionally connect through transparency, now

(01:23:30):
you position yourself to me to be uncomfortably vulnerable. But
that and and and this is I guess from the
surface of all being strangers y'all, because when you talk
about five years in into a relationship and stuff, that's
a difference where the vulnerability is it comes out through growth.

(01:23:50):
At that point. But when you're just meeting somebody, there's
no growth on the table. So I know, I said
a lot to just try to show to me transparency.
See it's normally enough. Vulnerability is only because people aren't
prepared and aren't open to growing with somebody, connecting with somebody,

(01:24:11):
And because of that, all people got left is to
me is to connect with people through argument. Because a
lot of people, the people that they love the most,
if you really take a look at it, they knew
how to piss that person off the most, and they
therefore they think they really know that person and they

(01:24:32):
hold that truest in their mind connection and then they're
going they're creating a cycle to find the next person
to get to know how to piss them off, to
get to know how to make them hurt. And they
think that they have relationships, they think that they're being
you know, all this stuff, but really they're not.

Speaker 5 (01:24:51):
Thank you, appreciate that, ask me, thank you for that version.

Speaker 2 (01:24:59):
The co next Jay, Oh right, yeah, I was just
about to come out. All right, bro, let's let's continue this. Yeah.

Speaker 14 (01:25:05):
I was gonna say, I think you know, some people
do it as like a knee jerk defense mechanism type
of thing. But then you have some people that do
it intentionally, and if you've experienced it, I think it
gets easy to recognize when like somebody's trying to start
an argument to change your attentions, you know, to somewhere else,

(01:25:27):
or you know, if they want us start an argument
to be sneaky, so you know, to create distance. So
now we're not talking to each other and now I
can go, you know, and do whatever I want to do.
So yeah, I think just you know, it depends on
the person, but if you've experienced it, it kind of
becomes like easy to recognize, like oh yeah, they bullshit.

Speaker 4 (01:25:54):
Yeah, and Jay, you can recognize it because if you're
trying to grow with the person to the mo point
you're trying to actually form a connection, that's your true
genuine intention. You get dealed with somebody, it's like inside
that goal like god, well it it gets up and
then like you said, it's with the bullshit because you

(01:26:17):
not over here with us.

Speaker 16 (01:26:20):
It's just it's just like the saying, someone who's committed
to misunderstanding you will never try to see like, well,
they'll never you'll never be able to compromise with them.

Speaker 2 (01:26:32):
Yeah, they got a different.

Speaker 1 (01:26:36):
Yo, Jay, real quick, Burke, It's crazy you said compromise
because we were talking about that earlier, right Mo. She
should have came in the last room we were talking about. Dude,
does compromising ruin egos? Or is compromising ruined relationships? So
if you want to talk about that, you can book.
But the compromising is a big thing where people aren't doing,
and that's wonder why the relationship sucks. You're not compromising.

(01:26:57):
You're not understanding people. You're not understanding of the part
the ship like that, y'all not taking the time to
understand people. Slow down, it's not it's not just your
way or the highway. When you sit down meet people
in the middle, then it should have go a little smooth. Okay,
I get where you're coming from, even if you don't agree.
Motherfuckers disagree to agree every day. But people don't know
how to do it. You don't know how to say Okay,

(01:27:17):
I see where you're coming from, but I don't agree.
You know what I'm saying. All that's all it takes
is listening to the other person. So that way both
y'all can get y'all point across. If you want to
get your point, y'all Gonna give y'all tip. If you
want to get your point across to the other party,
listen to them first. Motherfuckers don't like to actively listen
because they rushing and get their point across to the
other person.

Speaker 2 (01:27:35):
Just slow down a little bit, right, let's talk about it.
What's up, Burke? How do you feel about that opromise?
Fucks up a lot of shit?

Speaker 16 (01:27:43):
Yeah, well, okay, I first want to answer the question
about this vulnerability.

Speaker 13 (01:27:50):
That question, and I think in relationships, I think you're
really one moment.

Speaker 1 (01:28:12):
I think it definitely happens in relationships though a lot, right,
I think it sucks up a lot of shit, compromising part.
But then I also think people pick fights to avoid being,
you know, weak in front of that partner or make
it seem like they're weak.

Speaker 2 (01:28:24):
Oh man, you're a weak motherfucker. You don't want to,
you know, tell me what's wrong.

Speaker 1 (01:28:28):
It's okay, It's okay to have a conversation, especially when
you're sleeping with this person, right, you see me with
this person, this person, Why not be vulnerable towards what
they got going on or just you know, have some
type of compassion right, compromising and compassion.

Speaker 2 (01:28:39):
Mo, that's what I feel like. Let's go.

Speaker 5 (01:28:43):
I agree with you one hundred and ten percent. Compromise
and compassion go hand in hand with each other. In
a partnership. You have to compromise in order for both parties.
So I feel like to grow to be on the
same page and always have great communication and compromise. You
also have to have compassion for one another because sometimes

(01:29:04):
when we compromise, we don't really like to right, depending
on the situation and circumstance. But I have compassion for
you because you are my partner, because I do love you,
have to respect you. You are the leader of this marriage,
of this household. So they definitely go hand and in.

Speaker 3 (01:29:21):
No, I'm gonna be honest.

Speaker 21 (01:29:23):
I love what les see, what was saying, right, and Mo,
I do agree with you one hundred percent right. Here's
the thing, though, Stack, I'm gonna be totally honest in
my conclusion, and I listen, I could be wrong, but
this is what I've concluded. I've noticed that people, including myself,
in certain instances, say things that from the mouth as

(01:29:45):
when they get it in their mind. As soon as
they received that thrown in their mind, it came out
so well, you know what I'm saying, You received it
so well, But when it releases your mouth, it comes
out a whole different way. I think people are getting,
include myself, receive a thought say the total opposite from
what they receive, and it looks like a contradiction. But

(01:30:08):
guess what, you just didn't have the moment like you
spoke of to decipher if you needed to compromise, et cetera,
et cetera, et cetera. So guess what you just spoke.
You know why, because we didn't even get a chance
or moment. We didn't even give it an actual thought.
We didn't even process the thought. Matter of fact, no,
we got the thought, but we didn't process the thought

(01:30:30):
then to see to cycle it and to see if
that's what actually you know what I'm saying, if we
actually believe first of all that thought that came in,
so we could actually now start to live it and
express it.

Speaker 2 (01:30:44):
I do finish.

Speaker 3 (01:30:44):
I will finish with saying this.

Speaker 21 (01:30:46):
This is why a lot of people in this society today,
again included myself, we say this thing and we live
the total opposite. And again it's not just wanting to
be contradicting. But it's just because we say something, for example,
I want this type of woman or I want this
type of man, when it's in front of you, you
don't appreciate it the same as you spoke about it.

(01:31:09):
Why because again, you didn't allow yourself to process the
thought that was coming in, and you didn't allow you
didn't decipher of what you needed to happen, or what
you dealt with or what you needed to get you
know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (01:31:21):
You didn't do none of this.

Speaker 21 (01:31:23):
You just went out with it like you just freestyled.
And that's what a lot of us do. We all freestyle,
and I don't think we really really really really really
mean what we say, or we dismiss the importance of
what makes the most sense versus how we feel and
how we think.

Speaker 14 (01:31:43):
Yeah, I think the compromised thing too, is kind of
double way. It's sore because you know, you can we
can say, like, you know, I don't compromise my values,
I don't compromise my integrity something like that, But at
the same time we talk about compromise in a relationship.
So it's kind of it has to be a balance
because if you have like one person that's let's say

(01:32:05):
they're willing to compromise ninety percent, the other person is
willing to compromise ten percent, and that becomes like a
habit of one person always given more than the other,
of moving more toward the other person's direction over time, Uh,
you know, it's just basically going to be that one

(01:32:25):
person's waiting. So I think you got to have a
you got to have an understanding between the two of you,
as you know, who's in charge of who's the one
that's that's kind of making the final decisions, because if
it should always be off top, but it's got to
be that understanding. If it's, uh, you know, if it's

(01:32:46):
the mindset of you know, we're both equal eventually two people,
just like if you just two friends. You know, if
you say I want to go here, the other person
say I want to go there. Sometimes you compromise, but
when you don't compromise, you split up. So that's that's
kind of the other side of compromise because there has
to be a limit to compromise, otherwise you just completely

(01:33:08):
lose yourself. If it's if it's things that don't matter,
like oh, you want to go to this restaurant versus this, Okay,
no problem. You want to decorate the house like this,
no problem. But when it's something that is kind of
foundational or that could cause a division in a relationship,
it has to be some kind of something that brings

(01:33:30):
you back to the foundation of Okay, we're together.

Speaker 7 (01:33:33):
You the head.

Speaker 14 (01:33:34):
I'm going to follow your lead, even if I don't
necessarily agree with everything that you're saying in this moment.
And this the man, if it's up to the man,
how much compromise.

Speaker 3 (01:33:47):
And is he really doing.

Speaker 21 (01:33:52):
To put an exact number? Is crazy, I think, Chris,
But I think definitely. You know, at some point, as
a leader, you will have to come.

Speaker 3 (01:34:00):
You just have to. I don't think a leader is
just pure.

Speaker 21 (01:34:04):
If you want to be a dictator in your household
and that works for you, cool, I respect it, but
I don't think for the most part, a lot of
women will be okay with the dictatorship, but some will.
You have those, you have those you know outliers. But
here's the thing, right when it comes to how many
times in life you said you wanted this thing, but

(01:34:27):
then when you actually got it, did you appreciate it,
did you value it? You know what I'm saying in
the same same for women, how many times have I
ya say you want this thing, I want this guy?
You have it, and fast forward today you're not with
that person anymore and not saying that. Listen, there's other

(01:34:48):
things that maybe happened of why y'are not together, But
for the most part, think about it, sit, just think
about it, just for a second. For the most part,
you probably sabotaged it. Why because again, you didn't allow
your you didn't allow you allowed your past, matter of fact,
to interfere what you have currently. And I think that's

(01:35:08):
what allows a lot of us to shoot ourselves at
the foot, right, this is this takes us out the
game way before you get to the second date. You're
over here talking about stuff that you know. First date
demands certain things with certain relationships, and certain businesses demand
certain words. Right for the first time, right first time
in a freaking business deal, you shouldn't be talking about

(01:35:31):
how many you know girls you have, right, that's just
not the place.

Speaker 3 (01:35:35):
Same for vice versa.

Speaker 21 (01:35:37):
Right now, and by saying this your first date, you
shouldn't be talking about what position you you it's your
favorite position. Because again, these ships that shoot yourself in
the foot again, you're not allowing. Yes, you could have
these thoughts come up, you could feel this way, but
that doesn't mean you have to present it. You don't
have to express it. And I think a lot of
times we do that and we and we think that's vulnerability,

(01:35:59):
but it's actually it may be a little vulnerability, right,
but it also exes you out, it takes you out.
So now a person that's multi dating, guess what, you
You made it easier for her, or you made it
easier for him because now you that's one less person
they got to deal with.

Speaker 14 (01:36:15):
Hey, sure you're in a totally different phase of the
relationship with what I was thinking. I'm thinking, like you
already together, you're talking about positions on the first date.
That's a that's a different type of I don't know
if they falls in the compromising but yeah, that might
be being too vulnerable.

Speaker 16 (01:36:33):
I like that.

Speaker 7 (01:36:36):
I like to answer the question.

Speaker 16 (01:36:42):
Yeah, So for my For me, I think people do
pick fights to avoid vulnerability. It's just and sometimes it's
without even realizing it. Like I've noticed that, you know,
like when emotions get deeper, like feeling insecure, scar or
needing reassurance. It can feel easier just to argue than

(01:37:04):
to open up. Starting fights create distance control, which can
feel like feel safer than risking rejection or not being understood.
So like, basically, from my experience, a lot of arguments
aren't really about what they seem to be about. So
the small issue turns into a big argument because the

(01:37:25):
real feelings like beneath the surface aren't really being said.
So you know, I just think of instead of us
saying oh, yeah, like I feel her or you know,
I just need reassurance, it comes out as frustration or anger.
So yeah, like I just, I just I don't think
all conflict in relationships is unhealthy, though, I just want

(01:37:47):
to say that disagreements are obviously necessary and can actually strengthen,
you know, strengthen the relationship. But both people just have
to be honest in that situation. But when fighting becomes
like a pattern, it can be a sign that you know,
vulnerability feels unsafe, and emotions aren't being communicated in like
a direct way.

Speaker 5 (01:38:17):
I agree with you, Shank, Playboy, Chris, Jay zero one,
everybody else? What the topic do people go from feelings
get too strong?

Speaker 22 (01:38:32):
I'm gonna say yeah, because I recently experienced it myself.
I started kind of ghosting somebody and they started to, like,
you know, return.

Speaker 5 (01:38:42):
The behavior.

Speaker 22 (01:38:46):
Because we're not used to what's the word I'm looking for?
Not the conflicts, but more so it was the communication.
The communication was like slightly off, and I don't know
if you'll ever experienced this, Like, have y'all ever been

(01:39:06):
able to look at your partner and read them and
they say, like their facial expression says everything that they
want to say.

Speaker 6 (01:39:14):
But they don't say it.

Speaker 5 (01:39:17):
Absolutely.

Speaker 6 (01:39:18):
Yeah.

Speaker 22 (01:39:18):
So like once it got like that with us, we
kind of started to draw it back because we were
we were reading each other, and it just it got weird.

Speaker 7 (01:39:27):
It got very weird.

Speaker 5 (01:39:28):
Because it's like, why is this I don't know. Yeah,
I got you, but do you? I mean, when your
feelings get too strong, I don't think you should go somebody.
I think as adults whole, that sus accountable and really

(01:39:49):
tap into our feelings. There's nothing wrong with catching fun
for an individual. Know your work now that you will love,
know that you deserve the absolute best until your worth
being loved. And I think we through ourselves with the
service by sabotaging ourself our feelings get involved because we're
so used to being rejected, we're so used to being

(01:40:12):
loved mistreated. You know, it's value, so you know, it's
just it's a defense mechanism. Nonetheless, but if you treat
want true happiness, if marriage is the goal, you have
to learn how to put your guard down, break that
wall down, really heal yourself so that you can have
absolute best. I agree.

Speaker 22 (01:40:34):
I will say I feel like a lot of times too,
when you're not used to certain things, like a healthy relationship,
because sometimes it doesn't even have to be bad things
going on. There's gonna be a lot of just good
shit going on, and you're not used to that, and
it becomes too much and you might want to draw
yourself back because it's like you feel like the other

(01:40:55):
shoe gonna drop or something.

Speaker 5 (01:40:56):
I don't fucking know, but I've had that something bad
to happen, Like you're anticipating the fucking yeah, but why
not just enjoy the ride, enjoy the roller coaster, because listen,
during that journey, it's so beautiful, it's ups and downs.
Why are we waiting for the bad things to happen?
It's like, damn, you don't deserve happenings either. Yeah, yeah,

(01:41:21):
that's crazy with that part.

Speaker 4 (01:41:27):
I think that during that good season, there's still always
something to work on.

Speaker 5 (01:41:35):
And I think that.

Speaker 4 (01:41:37):
It's not we don't have enough experience in life really
balancing how do I do the work when we're in
a good season. So what I think happens is that
that part of that work that should be done, it
just takes over. You know, And I don't know if
y'all really know, but in the relationship, when you're in

(01:42:00):
a happy season, that's probably two things you working on
in yourself, one thing he working on in hisself. Well,
sometimes it's five things you're working on. You might be
still working on your tone. You may be still working
on balancing your work life balance. So it's something with
the kids, we're always working on something. And I think

(01:42:21):
in that season it just requires still communication. And I
just think people pull away from that responsibility because there's
a way to be happy we're in a happy season,
but then feel confident in doing the work, and those
conversations look different. And I just think that some people

(01:42:43):
ain't had the right partner to know how to do
both of those where they're conscious of we are good
right now, and so how do we have these good
conversations that's wrapped around the work that we still gotta
do because the first one through five years of being together,
that's all you're doing is work.

Speaker 3 (01:43:04):
You know.

Speaker 4 (01:43:04):
It ain't like you get three months off from getting
to know the person, three months off from really celebrating you.
I mean, I don't know. That's the way I see it,
because we're still young and a lot of us is
still in that thirties head into forties phase, and I
just think that that's a lot of the grounded we're

(01:43:27):
getting grounded in life. So that's what I mean by
funt like being in a happy stage, we good stage
in your thirties and forties. You don't get a break
from that life part. So yeah, I think that's where
I am with it. And I just think they don't
know how to balance the two.

Speaker 14 (01:43:48):
Yeah, I think, But the ghosting is not so much
because feelings got too strong. I think a lot of
times it's you in different places in your life, especially
if it's somebody that you know, you're in the talking
stage and you're not seeing them every day, and maybe
you go a couple of days without talking and you
got stuff going on in your life. They got stuff

(01:44:09):
going on in their life, and it just it feels
normal not to talk to each other because you're not
consistently in contact, you know, whether you like the person
or not, and you know a lot of times stuff
you know, it's games and stuff that's being played too, Like,
you know, they didn't call me back, so I'm not
gonna call them back, or they took this long to

(01:44:31):
call me, so I'm gonna wait this long to call them,
and you end up getting lost in the sauce and
eventually it's just no contact at all. So that that's
how I see the ghosting, because I don't really see
ghosting so much when you're actually in a relationship and
you're there together every day, and you know, it's kind

(01:44:52):
of hard to go somebody that you live with or
you know that you are constantly in contact with.

Speaker 5 (01:45:00):
That's true, But ghosting in a relationship is called avoiding.
So I can avoid you to avoid a conversation because
I'm uncomfortable, especially we don't live together, right, even if
we live together, I still can avoid you. We can
mean the same household and beet roommates. Ghosting in the
talking stage, I don't feel like it's said they're not

(01:45:22):
interested in you, but maybe you did something or said
something that they don't like, or maybe they thought they
liked you in the beginning then they found out I
really don't like him. Because if she really doesn't like you,
she's ghosting you from the beginning, Like it's not two
three four conversations. In the beginning of the conversation, you
can tell by the way she moves, the way she
talks that you're not gonna talk to this woman belong

(01:45:45):
saying thing with a man if you talk to him
for a little while and you can tell he's not
interesting about what he says in his actions. So the
ghosting is in the beginning of the talking stage. So
you don't waste each other's time. Now, when we're together
and we don't live together, I can avoid you. I
cannot answer your phone calls. I can always be busy
over in the same household. We can sleep in two
different rooms. I can cause arguments, so you can go

(01:46:07):
on a couch, I'm in a room. Like that's ghosting
in a relationship.

Speaker 22 (01:46:20):
M Yeah, because I don't think ghosting is always attached
to just never speaking again. Because you can I would
definitely maybe say I would probably use the word avoidance
more so in a sense of ghosting.

Speaker 4 (01:46:41):
And when people ain't opening up vulnerably, it does feel
like ghosting, like I'm just a ghost in a house.
It's a part of you in this house. You will
not open up to me.

Speaker 5 (01:46:55):
My gudrid is about you. But here's saving. I can't
get mad at them because if I did as a woman,
if I didn't create that safe face for you, my
quote unquote partner, then if you're if you're not vulnerable

(01:47:15):
with me, that's a meat problem because I need to
have that space for you. So I'm not mad that
you won't open up to me. I'm mad that I
haven't created that safe space because some people don't know
how to create a safe space. So if you don't
know how to create safe space me personally, I would
go to my village, your pastor whoever you know, get
from beliefs, and I would ask, how do I create

(01:47:37):
safe face for my partner so that he or she
can feel comfortable enough to express themselves to me. But
when they do, I have to remember, as a woman,
even in my anger with this individual, I can't weaponize
their emotions against them because now I'm attacking them, and
now their guard's gonna go back up and all their
traumas are gonna be triggered from the past. It's like

(01:47:59):
you're just everybody else, So.

Speaker 22 (01:48:03):
Charity, that's crazy because we meant it's crazy because me
and my dude was just having like this similar conversation
to where he had did something. It wasn't like off
the all crazy, it just was. It was like an
irritating thing, but it was something that I was able
to move past, and he was like, he asked me

(01:48:24):
why I was also understanding, and I just explained to him,
like in some of the words you use, no, I'm like,
because there's gonna be times where I need you to
understand me, so I have to understand you. There's gonna
be times where I need you to give me grace,
So I have to give you grace like shit like
that because I have, Like I guess it's a practice

(01:48:45):
and being a fair partner too, because when you want
that safe space, like even if you don't know how
to create a safe space for your partner, what would
you want your safe space to look like?

Speaker 5 (01:48:55):
I don't know, you know, Yeah, treat people where you
want to be treated and also that to have in
a safe space. And yes, in a relationship, you definitely
have to give you a partner grace because no one's perfect.
We are all flawed. If we all were perfect, I
promise you this world will be a better pace place,
you know what I'm saying. So, going back to the title,

(01:49:15):
do people go from feelings get too strong? Absolutely in
the dating stament, in the talking stage. But they do
that because once again, they weren't that really empty to
begin with, right, they were just passing time by want
to get a free date. In reality, you are the
second choice because who they really want to be with
don't want them, right, so they just go to the

(01:49:35):
runner up. But in a relationship, now it's just called avoidance.

Speaker 4 (01:49:41):
Now, will y'all talk about this safe space?

Speaker 7 (01:49:44):
Man?

Speaker 4 (01:49:45):
First, you gotta, of course, like you just said, find
a way to get to know the person, to create
this safe space, because a lot of times we only
have experience create given like our friends safe space, our
previous partner safe space. And it's quite a vulnerable thing
to learn a new partner in a way like okay,

(01:50:08):
now I gotta find out what works for you. But
then it's this part where you gotta have empathy because,
oh my god, I know y'all when I say this,
y'all gonna remember this feeling when you realize that the
person you just gave a safe space have never actually
experienced it. So now you've got to give them empathy

(01:50:30):
because they're going through something that they've never experienced before.
And when I say at that point, to get a
little hard, because you don't know, if let's just use
the ghost, they're going to ghost you in this safe space,
like they double dutch again out of this safe space.
And at this point, to your point, you got to

(01:50:52):
give them grace because again this is like their very
first time, you know, and a lot of men, you know,
us women, we know what different safe spaces feel like.
For my parents, for my girlfriends. People, you know, they
create the space bus all the time.

Speaker 3 (01:51:08):
It works.

Speaker 4 (01:51:09):
Some of us got it, but me and they don't
get all of these different experiences. So with that being said,
given that, empathy is not really easy, especially when you
know I need you to give me this part of you,
whatever it is, I need it. So now I got

(01:51:29):
to give you empathy in the area of our relationship
that I need answers to and it can be.

Speaker 5 (01:51:36):
Tough, but you know why. It's then I used to
it because think about it. For a man, a son's
first love is his mother. If your mother to give
you a safe space as a child, you're a village.
You don't know what that looks like. Some people don't
know how to be emotionally consistent. Sometimes you have to

(01:51:56):
reassure your partner in a hard conversation.

Speaker 6 (01:52:00):
Right.

Speaker 5 (01:52:02):
Also, it has to be a judgment free zone. Like
Chin said, give them grace, give them mercy because listen,
none of us are perfect. You can't roll your lives.
No sarcasm because at this point you're just mocking them
and that's ridiculous. That shows the immaturity. And even in

(01:52:23):
that moment, remove your ego from that conversation to help
them feel more comfortable, share your vulnerability if they open
up to you, open up to them, because when they
see you open it up to them about things in
your past, and when you show them that you feel
safe with them, it makes I think it makes it
easier for them to express themselves to you when I go.

Speaker 16 (01:52:51):
So for me, I I don't necessarily think ghosting happens
because feelings are too strong. I think ghosting happens when
people don't know how to communicate their feelings, so it
becomes more of a flight or flight fight or flight response.
So like when someone doesn't understand what they're feeling or
how to express it, or even what the other person

(01:53:12):
might be feeling, they flight that like flight, you.

Speaker 7 (01:53:15):
Know, I gotta go.

Speaker 16 (01:53:16):
I'm just gonna kind of avoid the situation it kicks in,
and that's what the ghosting is.

Speaker 20 (01:53:21):
Now.

Speaker 16 (01:53:22):
Like for someone who leans more towards the fight response,
they would just address the concern or communicate.

Speaker 7 (01:53:30):
What's really going on.

Speaker 16 (01:53:31):
But you know, to us, I think, or not to us,
but to some people avoidance. It's just easier to avoid
situations than having that uncomfortable conversation. And that's why ghosting
is more of an escape rather than, you know, a
form of just dealing with the emotions or what's going on.
I also think that people ghosts. Many of us go,

(01:53:52):
many of us get ghosted because when you're talking, especially
in the talking stage, I think at some point people
realize not everyone is meant to be compatible long term,
and sometimes, you know, some people are only compatible up
to a certain point, and that's okay, like that's okay,
But that can also lead to ghosting because it's just

(01:54:13):
a reflection of someone not accepting or knowing how to
express the fact that they're incompatible with someone or that
compatibility ran out.

Speaker 7 (01:54:23):
So rather than just you know, it's just it's not
sometimes it's just nothing personal.

Speaker 3 (01:54:27):
You know.

Speaker 5 (01:54:31):
I agree, sometimes it is impersonal.

Speaker 3 (01:54:34):
I like that, but.

Speaker 5 (01:54:37):
It is I personal. So if it isn't personal, I'm sorry,
then that uneal person should stay in their lane and
truly give themselves because your actions, Man, you may not
intend for it to be impersonal, but that's how they're
taking it as the recipient, you know what I'm saying.

(01:54:58):
So on the house side looking at you have to
look at it from their leans and how they feel
with the situation, because you are right, it is communication
that is a problem. But sometimes you can communicate to
somebody and they still don't get it. They still, you know,
continue to try just a little bit. And it's like
I've told you that I wasn't interested in you. I'm

(01:55:20):
showing you my actions that are not interested in you.
Why don't you take the hints and move forward with
your with your life? Why are you trying so hard.
So sometimes people cause ghosting on themselves because when they
show you that they're not for you and you keep
on trying, you set your suffer for rejection in a sense.

Speaker 4 (01:55:41):
Now with that though, when it comes to that compatibility,
some people see parts of a person when that the
actual person is not aware of. So the person is
trying what looks like trying to experience that part that

(01:56:02):
they see in them. And I know this because in
that when people say a lot of people don't know themselves,
when you start really looking at the people that don't
know themselves, you really can see that they're not used
to someone responding to specific parts of themselves. It's like

(01:56:23):
when you're talking to them, but they don't know you
talking to them because they don't see themselves.

Speaker 5 (01:56:29):
That's what be happening.

Speaker 4 (01:56:31):
And I think some people don't know whether it's you're
looking at it like it's your assignment or I met
this person for a reason. Some people don't know how
to pretty much stop talking to themselves in that instance
because they're you know, it's a real thing to be
experienced a person for who they are, and that person

(01:56:52):
don't know themselves. So I want to just give that
perspective and give people more credit than we think because
especially since like again I keep saying, we're getting older,
we can see parts of people that in stages of
life that we already been through, we could recognize different
people in them, whether it's your cousin, you're aincy, or

(01:57:12):
this and that. And I do believe that that attachment
and beginning stages. And I'm talking about that beginning stages.
A lot of people I have told, being in my
experience that my gosh, you know, it'd be three months
down the line, and I'm like, I knew that about you,
you know, three weeks in. I saw that part about

(01:57:34):
you way back then. And they don't even be conscious
that they was able to be seen in that way
that early.

Speaker 5 (01:57:50):
Would anybody else likes to speak to This happened to
people those telling to get too strong.

Speaker 13 (01:58:11):
So so I have I have a question, mm hmm.
Can ghosting be justified, like in a certain situation.

Speaker 7 (01:58:19):
Like is or is it?

Speaker 2 (01:58:21):
Is it?

Speaker 13 (01:58:22):
Sometimes the answer like its ghosting?

Speaker 22 (01:58:24):
Sometimes answer yeah, I feel like yeah, because like sometimes
you just can't make somebody understand something, and it's sometimes
the conversations aren't worth it, Like sometimes you really just
gotta go on, and they I don't know, like.

Speaker 5 (01:58:42):
Yeah, sometime ye cut your losses. Maybe might to be honest.

Speaker 12 (01:58:50):
Oh yeah, we gonna go.

Speaker 7 (01:58:51):
We you're gonna go with somebody we know.

Speaker 5 (01:58:56):
I have close to somebody in my lifetime. Mm hm
m hmm. But listen, I also communicate before I coasted.
But I definitely made my move. I'm not gonna lie half.

Speaker 22 (01:59:09):
It's okay, I learned, but you know, I feel like, yeah,
I definitely feel like that's an instant when goosting should
be accepted. Like if I've previously told you about these
issues and I just so happen to hit my final
fucking stroll, I can.

Speaker 5 (01:59:31):
When they lied about who they said they were, baby,
I got the hell. Don't pretend to be somebody that
you're not. Issues are not yourself.

Speaker 16 (01:59:42):
And I think I believe that's a valid reason for ghosting,
like someone lying about who they were, just because like
in hindsight, like your safety at some point, like they
lied about who they were, Like who knows what the
fuck they're gonna lie about, Like you really don't even
know them throughout that point. So I feel like at
a certain point it's it's good, especially because you know,

(02:00:05):
your safety could possibly be at risk because someone's already
lied about who they were.

Speaker 7 (02:00:10):
Who knows what else they're gonna lie about?

Speaker 5 (02:00:11):
Absolutely, girl, I left somebody at the mall and drove
the hell off.

Speaker 6 (02:00:15):
Do you hear me?

Speaker 12 (02:00:17):
I oh man?

Speaker 5 (02:00:23):
Thinking about the announcing, I have definitely removed myself from
a situation because they allowed to know who they were. Yes, mmmm,
but it's just that was justified. It was definitely just
a side. I let him know and once I got
to my destination, not gonna lie. And that was that
they didn't concept me anymore. Then I was appalled when

(02:00:47):
I was there, So I was like the nerve of
this individual, right, like you lied? I mean he last
saw or burke. It didn't make any sense. I literally
was nouxious to my stomach, right, and so I got
the hell on and got my ask back home. I
lot of them know what it was, and then what
was that?

Speaker 6 (02:01:12):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (02:01:13):
Ghosting is definitely just a bad.

Speaker 22 (02:01:15):
So how can you comfortably do something like that when
you know eventually I'm gonna like, your mask is gonna
fall eventually because you're gonna slip up.

Speaker 5 (02:01:24):
You're gonna fuck around.

Speaker 7 (02:01:25):
Like you're gonna figure who you told me you were,
and you're gonna be who you actually are.

Speaker 5 (02:01:31):
Yeah, I agree, but that's the beauty of life lessons,
especially in this dating pool.

Speaker 6 (02:01:42):
Girl.

Speaker 5 (02:01:43):
I felt like I was Cafish.

Speaker 16 (02:01:44):
Do you hear me?

Speaker 5 (02:01:45):
Bert Bert? I swear it was like a chatgy BT
picture and you saw one thing and.

Speaker 7 (02:01:50):
Then you saw, oh yeah, that's a no way.

Speaker 3 (02:01:52):
Now.

Speaker 5 (02:01:52):
I was so nauxious to my stomach. You don't understand
I came on club. I haven't told a few people.
I said, y'all, I gotta tell y'all my traumatic experience.
Like I was that noxious to my stomach, I said,
I have never physically felt ill in my life about
an individual, but that man made my I was driving

(02:02:13):
home for like I had to throw up. I was like, Lord,
please get me back to my house, please Jesus, Like
I gotta get back to my comfort. Yeah. I wasn't playing,
but yeah.

Speaker 7 (02:02:29):
I'm sorry. I'm sorry you experienced that.

Speaker 5 (02:02:33):
I'm sorry too. And that was actually my first time. Well,
second time goes, and somebod'm gonna take the back goes
my second time.

Speaker 7 (02:02:42):
Did you like video chat the person beforehand.

Speaker 3 (02:02:45):
Or was it like.

Speaker 5 (02:02:48):
Nobody adn't do the video hip beforehand, Burke, and next
time I will though going forward Burke. If I don't,
if we don't see a video in.

Speaker 16 (02:02:56):
Person, I'm that's I think that's that's my That's my
number one dating role now, which like okay, like this
is like people still caffish, but I don't feel like
people caffish as much anymore as like way back when.
But that's my number one was like we gotta we
gotta face something, I gotta see, like I feel like
also when you're talking to someone and you can see
them and whatever, you can really get a feel.

Speaker 13 (02:03:18):
For their energy and their era, like how they really are.

Speaker 5 (02:03:23):
Yeah, I get that. Sure man will wherever we like.

Speaker 6 (02:03:39):
And that's that.

Speaker 5 (02:03:43):
Jay Owen, What do you have to say it for
the title?

Speaker 16 (02:03:50):
Uh?

Speaker 14 (02:03:50):
Well, I mean you know what I said before. I
don't necessarily think it's because the feelings get too strong.
I think it's because others still gets in the way.
And I think it's because the bond hasn't gotten strong
enough probably and you know, some of those other reasons
y'all mentioned as well, I agree with, So it could

(02:04:12):
be a myriad of different reasons. But yeah, you know,
I guess some women made, you know, from a female perspective,
I don't know. Maybe y'all do that, but for me
at least, I don't think it's it has anything to
do with feelings being too strong.

Speaker 6 (02:04:29):
Right.

Speaker 5 (02:04:32):
Because usually in the ghosting stage, I feel like the
feelings aren't really there. That's less than love, two different things.
So the lust shouldn't even be that strong to me
in the beginning, when we're talking about ghosting somebody, you're
infatuated with that individual, but you don't even know them.

(02:04:53):
You're just infatuate of who you think that they are,
so you know.

Speaker 2 (02:05:00):
The bubble, the bubble gets busted and.

Speaker 14 (02:05:05):
And you know it could be from a psychological level too,
though you know it's not always you know, catfish is
sometimes it's catfish mentality, like just some you know, you
know it's not gonna necessarily work with you, and it
might not necessarily mean that they you know, something wrong

(02:05:26):
with them or not. It's just you see, it's not
it's not gonna jail the way it needs Tom.

Speaker 5 (02:05:33):
I agree. I agree. You can come up and talk
to the title.

Speaker 2 (02:05:47):
Do you.

Speaker 5 (02:05:49):
Do people go when feelings get too strong? Are you
walking around and chat? It's up to you.

Speaker 2 (02:06:13):
Hey, you know more.

Speaker 14 (02:06:14):
I think it's one thing we haven't brought up that's
a big factor in it. It's other people getting in
a way because you could be especially when you're just
getting to know somebody, you could be just getting to
know somebody else, and sometimes those other conversations and stuff
that you're having, you know, are are interfering with each other.

Speaker 2 (02:06:37):
So like, you know, that goes into you know, if
you think you should.

Speaker 14 (02:06:41):
Be talking about more, Yeah, more than one person with intention,
you know, and sometimes it's not even intention, it's just friendly. Hey,
well you know, and things turn that way, So you know,
I think that's another fact in the ghosts who when,
like I said, you apart and you're not in each
other's day to day and things could have happened that.

Speaker 2 (02:07:03):
You're unaware of and uh, yeah you're ghosted. I know,
I done got ghosted, So yeah, it happened to everybody.

Speaker 5 (02:07:13):
Absolutely. I think in the dating stage, you're supposed to
talk to multiple people. It depends if you're casually dating
or if you're intentionally dating. Not if you're intentionally dating,
obviously you should be focused on one person at the
time because it and go his marriage. But if you're
casually dating and you're talking multiple people. I mean, it's

(02:07:36):
fine if you can multitask, but you are right. You
may be feeling Tom more than you feeling Harry. Right,
and Harry there he leingering around, but you're showing Harry
within your actions that you're not feeling him. And instead
of him taking a queue and moving on, he's still
hanging around. And now you're in a ghost of him
because he wanted to be in Loveland thinking he had

(02:07:59):
a chance. In reality, see he got two or the
other gas he's going against don't even know he's competing horsepot.
Same thing with a woman. It could be the same scenario.
You're competing horse spot in a man's life and he's
talking to or three other women and he ended up
ghosting you, not intentionally, but everybody's everybody is replaceable in
that quote unquote talking stage. If you're just casually dating,

(02:08:21):
now you're intentionally dating. Like I said, it's only one
person at a time. In my versual opinion, because he
can't go is marriage at the end of the day.

Speaker 14 (02:08:40):
Yeah, I agree with that, And that kind of goes
into how long should the talking stage be before you
know from the time that you meet, get the number
or you know, however you see the clock starting, how
long shit that that phase? Because I feel like the
longer that it's just a talking stage, the more chance

(02:09:01):
it has a falling off, like when it's really like
I know from the gate, I like you, and right,
you know what I'm saying, and then it's less chance
of that happening. It's either going to be a quick note.

Speaker 2 (02:09:13):
Or it's kind of quick. Yeah, exactly, moving forward.

Speaker 5 (02:09:18):
I agree with showing that because here's the thing. So
I feel like this, if I know what I want
and you know what you want, Jay, right, we both
know exactly what we want. We're both intentionally they I
think it depends on the individuals, their energy, their connection,
their conversations. You have some people talk with three months,
some people talk for two weeks. It just depends, right,

(02:09:39):
And I've seen situations like that where those individuals to
end up getting married and their long term marriages and
they're happy. So it depends on both parties, and like
I said, their energy and their connection to the termine
where they want to go from here. Now, as a man,
if you know what you want and you know this,
you you like this woman you like where things are going.

(02:10:04):
If you want to be with her, go ahead and
be with her now. If you're dragging your foot, that's
your fault, your problem, because if somebody else sweeps off
her feet, that's your problem because you waited too long.
It's a personal choice that you made, so you have
to be for sure with yourself that that's that's the
way you want to go. That way you all can
grow and the end goal, like I said, this marriage.

Speaker 14 (02:10:28):
Yeah, yeah, I agree. I think probably the biggest thing
that makes me like somebody.

Speaker 2 (02:10:34):
Is them liking me.

Speaker 5 (02:10:36):
So do you like your then you like her. Because
when a woman really like you, she gonna believe show out.
If she don't like you like that, you're gonna get
the bare minimum. That's the fact. Same thing with men.

Speaker 2 (02:10:55):
Yep. Indeed.

Speaker 6 (02:11:01):
I also I also think.

Speaker 7 (02:11:05):
I also think that.

Speaker 16 (02:11:08):
When it comes to like someone said, like you know,
they're you're they're talking to multiple people, the other you know,
maybe the other person there, the situation they're dealing with
progressed further and they just were like all right, cool,
Like I'm just gonna focus on this more.

Speaker 13 (02:11:23):
And I also I also believe in unintentional ghosting.

Speaker 7 (02:11:28):
Where it's like I'm I don't know, I just feel
like I forget and then whatever.

Speaker 16 (02:11:42):
So for me, like if it took too long to text,
then I'm just like, oh, like okay, shit, I forgot
to sex this person back.

Speaker 7 (02:11:50):
It's already three days, you know what.

Speaker 16 (02:11:54):
Yeah, Like I guess this situation isn't meant for me
just because me I took too long whatever.

Speaker 7 (02:12:00):
So like I don't think that's intentional ghosting, but I
I know maybe.

Speaker 5 (02:12:05):
It's I think it's like I forget you. It's like
that that's called poor communication. Because let's be honest, we
make time for what we want to make time for.
If it's important to you, you're gonna make time for it.
So even if you're not a good texter, right like
you don't like the text, that's cool. It takes two
minutes to pick up the phone to make a quick

(02:12:25):
phone call to talk for a few seconds. If you
really like a man, you're gonna show them that you
like more than your actions. Same thing. If a man
really likes you as a woman, he's gonna show you.
We all make time for going to the club, go
and hand over in friends, going to concerts, whatever your
drug of choices, you know, alcohol, whatever the case may be.

(02:12:46):
Everybody makes time for what they want to make time for.
So if you can't make time for the one person
that you're getting to us you quote unquote like that
sounds like a bunch of excuses. To me, we all
like to make excuses, but don't like go to usels
accountable for our lack of communication, all lack ability to
even comprehend in the dating stage. Like, to me, it
just doesn't make any sense.

Speaker 7 (02:13:13):
Yeah, Like I agree, Maybe I'm just not that. Maybe
I just wasn't that interested.

Speaker 5 (02:13:20):
And it's okay, and that to be interested, you know,
it is okay. Maybe he wasn't meant for you, because
whatever's meant for you, it's gonna be for you. You
know what I'm saying, It's not going anywhere?

Speaker 7 (02:13:32):
Do you think? Do you also?

Speaker 2 (02:13:35):
So?

Speaker 7 (02:13:36):
I some also think people's goes because.

Speaker 16 (02:13:40):
They they realize maybe they don't want that, they don't
want anything romantic with the person, and they might just
see better off friends.

Speaker 7 (02:13:52):
Like when you decide, you know, maybe they'd be a
better friend than like a romantic.

Speaker 16 (02:13:56):
Partner, and instead of saying that, instead of just saying, hey,
like maybe we should just be friends because people are afraid.
Like people are, there are people who don't like confrontation,
and they don't want to deal with the confrontation or
even the question askings of well.

Speaker 7 (02:14:13):
Why do you think will be better a's friends?

Speaker 3 (02:14:14):
What you know?

Speaker 16 (02:14:15):
Because sometimes maybe they just feel like, you know, I
just like your energy as a friend more than a
romantic partner. I think that's why people go They just
you know, they prefer to be friends, and they just
don't want to say that.

Speaker 6 (02:14:28):
So here's my thing.

Speaker 5 (02:14:29):
At our grown age, it's very weird to not to
be able to communicate to somebody and say, hey, I
think will be better as friends. Like at this grown age,
it's okay if you try to talk to this individual
it didn't work out, and you say, you know what,
I respect our friendship more, that's fine. But to not

(02:14:50):
communicate that, to show poor communication skills at a certain age,
it's like you don't know how to comprehend the great communication.
If you don't understand great communication, then why not try
to learn great communication skills? Right? Why not ask finding
your village or he'll go to therapy if you need

(02:15:10):
to to learn these things. Because anything you do in
life requires communication, right, you have to communicate a closed mop.
Don't get that. I can't read your mind. So instead
of me ghosting you quote unquote unintentionally, it was intentional
because you didn't communicate it to that person, so it
technically it wasn't unintentional. So the mature thing to do

(02:15:33):
is like, you know what, I think you're a great guy,
but I'm not interesting like that. I think we should
just be friends. If you cool with it, fine, If
he's not, that's cool too. But at least you were
mature enough to communicate that to that man, so not
go some and lead him on to thinking that he
had a shot. In reality, you're not that interested him because,
like I said, a woman that's interested in man, truly

(02:15:56):
interested in man, she's gonna should interactions and vice versa.

Speaker 23 (02:16:04):
I think with some people say that's be friends. That's
just a nice way of saying, hey, good me and
you have a nice life. That's what that usually means.
I just tell people have a nice life.

Speaker 2 (02:16:16):
What you say, right, good, that's clear, have a nice life.

Speaker 23 (02:16:20):
Like you know what I'm saying, we're not go see
it's why we can be friends and we don't communicate.

Speaker 2 (02:16:25):
We don't hang out. Let's just cut to the bullshit,
say hey, I have a good life.

Speaker 14 (02:16:30):
You know, hey, there is such thing as mutual ghosting too,
Like you went out, you went out together your home,
you didn't call them, they didn't call you, like you
just already know, like you know.

Speaker 2 (02:16:46):
Work.

Speaker 7 (02:16:48):
I've done, I've done.

Speaker 6 (02:16:50):
I think this goes back to like self sabtage ghosting.

Speaker 16 (02:16:54):
Where it's like in the back of my mind and
like a lot of it can be doe to like
a lot of it, I will admit it's like due
to my insecurities and things that I've been through in
the past, a lot of my For me, it's like
I might think, oh, yeah, like this this man, he
ain't interested whatever, he's gonna go to me anyway. So

(02:17:15):
I don't reach out, and I don't make that reach
out and be like hey you good or whatever. I
don't make that initial, you know, reach out. So then
there are people who are just like, well, if someone
doesn't reach out to them, I'm not gonna reach out
to them and we're just not gonna talk.

Speaker 7 (02:17:29):
And that's what I do. And I can't admit that
I do that, Like self sabotage.

Speaker 16 (02:17:33):
Ghosting where in my head I feel like you're gonna
go to me anyway, so I'm gonna do it first.

Speaker 23 (02:17:37):
See with me Personally, I don't never I don't believe
in looking for love or if you ain't.

Speaker 2 (02:17:43):
Attracting it, it just ain't gonna work.

Speaker 23 (02:17:45):
I don't believe in looking for I get to know
people with the intentions, but as far as looking for
something like long term being with that person, don't. I
don't have an expectations like that. I don't even go
like that. I just meet you, hang out. Then if
we grow in due time, it's okay.

Speaker 6 (02:18:02):
Cool.

Speaker 23 (02:18:02):
If not, it's cool. I don't set myself up a
disappointments in. I'm not emotionally you know what I'm saying,
like all over the place? Really won't that like that?
If it's meant to be, it happened, so there's no pressure.

Speaker 2 (02:18:27):
What about is there is? What do you actually want
to do? If I meet it?

Speaker 3 (02:18:34):
If I meet a new person, we hit it off,
We cool?

Speaker 5 (02:18:37):
We not?

Speaker 3 (02:18:37):
We not? You know what I'm saying, I might meet
you and might not want to see you again.

Speaker 23 (02:18:42):
You know what I'm saying, You might say some shit
that okay, I can respect that, but that's not gonna
be That's not gonna work for me, but it could
work for somebody else, you know. So I don't have
expectations going in and think that we're gonna hit it
off and go on the second, third, fourth day. I'm
just meeting you, you know what I'm saying, And that's it.

Speaker 5 (02:19:06):
It just sounds like trauma around you know, you're protecting yourself,
and I get it.

Speaker 23 (02:19:13):
I don't even have an expectation of you, you know
what I'm saying, Like to that point where I'm looking for.

Speaker 5 (02:19:18):
That like, you know, is it because you've been disappointed
in your past?

Speaker 6 (02:19:21):
You think?

Speaker 2 (02:19:22):
I mean, yeah, I'll be disappointed.

Speaker 7 (02:19:24):
But at the same time, it's more so as.

Speaker 23 (02:19:27):
I really believe that you have an expectations from a
human being that you don't know.

Speaker 2 (02:19:32):
I just like you really emotionally playing with yourself at
this point. You know, why would I emotionally want to
play with my own self like that and not.

Speaker 23 (02:19:40):
Even really get to know this person, this person's characters,
this person you know, this woman's personality things.

Speaker 2 (02:19:45):
That's so I'm really digging in.

Speaker 23 (02:19:48):
I'm really just really vetting you out, you know what
I'm saying, see if you really as a decent person,
you know what I'm saying, know on some intimate shit
like I might not like you as a human being,
like like fuck me, m so, And I'm gonna tell
you that I don't like you as a person.

Speaker 7 (02:20:03):
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (02:20:04):
You ain't rocking with me.

Speaker 3 (02:20:05):
I'm gonna tell you that.

Speaker 23 (02:20:07):
I told over that you know your personality is trash
like good, I'm a nice life, you know, because you
know I'm because because I gotta deal with you, and
you know what I'm saying, and I don't want to
deal with that.

Speaker 2 (02:20:22):
So I begin.

Speaker 5 (02:20:26):
I agree with you. I agree with that you can
meet very handsome, very beautiful with the ugly personality and
that shit look a mess. So I understand.

Speaker 23 (02:20:43):
You know, I think I think people go into situations
emostly to invest it too soon m hm, and you
get disappointed, and that's your fault for being disappointed. You
emotionally invested and had your expectations high and you and
you're emostly agiate, uh your expectations involved with and that's

(02:21:04):
your fault.

Speaker 5 (02:21:06):
M I agree.

Speaker 14 (02:21:14):
I think you also got to have your intentions in
mind too, just to say, whichever way it goes, it's
okay with me. I mean, I think even to go
out with somebody, that means you invested some time in them,
because you know, you don't got so many hours in
the day, so you got some kind of expectation that, Okay,
they're gonna show up and handle themselves with some kind

(02:21:36):
of decorum. You know that they're gonna be pleasant to
talk to, you know, because really, if you didn't have
that expectation of them, why would you go out with
them in the first place. You know, you got some
kind of good thought in your mind about them, like,
oh yeah, she could be all right, you know, to
even hang out with her, you know.

Speaker 2 (02:21:58):
Whatever.

Speaker 23 (02:21:59):
It's about experience, right, and you're gonna go ask some
good experience and some bad experience.

Speaker 12 (02:22:06):
It's just life.

Speaker 2 (02:22:07):
It's a part of it. That's how I look at it,
Just a part of life.

Speaker 23 (02:22:11):
Be somebody new she you know, if you're gonna be botonic,
you want to hook, you want to be something more.
And that's that, you know what I'm saying. I charge
it to the game. You know, a hour or two
it's fine, I get it or three and if it works,
you know, we want to hang out again. We hang
out it if we don't hang out, no mo, we

(02:22:31):
just don't hang out. No Mo, no hard feelings. I
ain't gonna talk bad about you nothing, ain't whatever to care.
How we how we met and you know how where
we gonna into that that's where we ended that. We
ain't man, fay, we ain't even had to end it.
We just ain't gonna begin.

Speaker 14 (02:22:48):
So let me ask you. Do you like when you
go out with somebody? Do you normally talk to them first?
Or is it more like a Hey, I'm gonna call
you at this time and tell you what we're gonna meet.
It's more like you just plan and when you're gonna
meet for the date. Or do you actually like get
to know them before you actually decide to go out
with them?

Speaker 2 (02:23:07):
I do.

Speaker 23 (02:23:07):
I do a little bit of both, you know what
I'm saying different situations, but you know, but I'd rather
prefer them kind of like see what their head des
I before I even step out, because sometimes I can
avoid that for even stepping down.

Speaker 2 (02:23:20):
Right, That's why I'm getting at right. I mean, so
to some women ain't worth to day. I'm like, no.

Speaker 5 (02:23:29):
Thing worth the conversation for real.

Speaker 2 (02:23:30):
Right, you ain't worth it.

Speaker 3 (02:23:31):
Matter of fact, number, I'm gonna lose your.

Speaker 5 (02:23:34):
Number central delete.

Speaker 23 (02:23:37):
Yeah, the fact I don't even you know, I give
them in my number. If you call me, all right,
we'll see what's up. But that don't bother me.

Speaker 2 (02:23:45):
Mm hmmm mmm.

Speaker 5 (02:23:48):
Understand that they welcome to the stage. What do you
put the title? Two people go swim? Feelings get too strong?
Which you take?

Speaker 2 (02:24:01):
What's up? How you're doing? So?

Speaker 24 (02:24:05):
Of course you know I come from the zodiac perspective, right,
I think that that applies primarily to masculine energies. And
masculine energies are the air and the fire signed people.
And for the last templus years, I've noticed that in conversations,

(02:24:25):
like because my specialty is relationships, so this is the
primary thing I always do with.

Speaker 2 (02:24:34):
And I see it.

Speaker 24 (02:24:34):
You know, the air and fire signed people, whether sun
or moonsign placements. A lot of times, you know, like
they will straight up move on to the next person
because masculine energies don't care to speak about emotional things anyway.
You know, they don't care to talk about how they feel.
They don't care to kiss anybody else's you know, as

(02:24:57):
like it's just the energy. Now, I'm not saying everything's
not absolute because everyone is a combination of energies, right.
A person can be the sun shigned excuse me, masculine energy,
but their moonsign could be feminine, so they can have
a part of them that wants to hold on, but
their dominant side is going on to let go.

Speaker 3 (02:25:16):
So yeah, I do think. You know, people do ghosts.

Speaker 24 (02:25:22):
When the feelings get too strong and they can't express
how they feel, and so it comes out in other
other ways.

Speaker 6 (02:25:31):
Yeah, Amo Sagittarius and period.

Speaker 2 (02:25:46):
You know, what's your mossign energy.

Speaker 6 (02:25:52):
Aquarius moon and side sun Aquarius

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