September 21, 2022 • 17 mins
The last few years have been tough on so many of us for so many reasons. As a business owner you have to show up every day, get up every day and make sure the business is running, every single day. How do you manage that when all you want to do it sit on the couch and drink gin? Asking for a friend, aka myself. As a human you have to feel all of it so that you can get passed it, but where is the line?
How do you manage your grief, I really want to know. Let's talk about it.
Quote
“It’s an authentic and elevating response to the problem of being alive in a deeply flawed yet stubbornly beautiful world.”
― Susan Cain, Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole
Highlights with timestamps:
00:00 The past 3 years
01:18 The people I lost
01:49 My relationship with my mother
05:40 Always be kind to one another
06:49 Showing my authentic self
14:06 Book report for this week
16:53 Outro
Book Report:
Bittersweet
https://amzn.to/3d4TxmX
Please rate & review the podcast so I know you are listening:
https://ratethispodcast.com/100
Sponsored by Heartcast Media
https://www.heartcastmedia.com/
Let's Connect!
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mollydruland
Website: https://mollyruland.com/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/heartcastmedia/
Book a Discovery Call: https://calendly.com/mollyruland/discovery-chat-molly-ruland
If you are interested one on one business consultation click here:
https://mollyruland.com/coaching/
How do you manage your grief, I really want to know. Let's talk about it.
How do you manage your grief, I really want to know. Let's talk about it.
Quote
“It’s an authentic and elevating response to the problem of being alive in a deeply flawed yet stubbornly beautiful world.”
― Susan Cain, Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole
Highlights with timestamps:
00:00 The past 3 years
01:18 The people I lost
01:49 My relationship with my mother
05:40 Always be kind to one another
06:49 Showing my authentic self
14:06 Book report for this week
16:53 Outro
Book Report:
Bittersweet
https://amzn.to/3d4TxmX
Please rate & review the podcast so I know you are listening:
https://ratethispodcast.com/100
Sponsored by Heartcast Media
https://www.heartcastmedia.com/
Let's Connect!
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mollydruland
Website: https://mollyruland.com/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/heartcastmedia/
Book a Discovery Call: https://calendly.com/mollyruland/discovery-chat-molly-ruland
If you are interested one on one business consultation click here:
https://mollyruland.com/coaching/
How do you manage your grief, I really want to know. Let's talk about it.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:09):
Hey, thanks for turning in.It's nice to see you again, or
it's nice to be heard. Iguess I should say, welcome back to
the next one hundred. Today,I want to talk about grief. I
want to talk about all the lossand all of the sadness and all the
grief that we've all been dealing withfor the last three years, because it
(00:30):
feels like we're not talking about it. It feels like the pandemic hit and
it was pivot, pivot, pivotand adapt, and there was so much
division in vaccine opinions and this andthat, and man, the last election
cycle really destroyed a lot of families, and so there's just there's so much
(00:51):
loss, right, you know,I've been I've been thinking about for days
how I want to talk about this, and I'm not really sure. All
I know is I want to showup authentically right. I want to be
honest about where I'm at, becauseI think it's important. I think sometimes
we put people on these pedestals andwe think just because their business is doing
well or they're living in a niceplace, that like there's no problems,
and that's not real. And forme personally, grief has been a real
(01:15):
Mickey Flicky Man like. It hasbeen tough. Not a day goes by,
right. I don't think about thepeople in my life who passed away.
Will and Sam, two people whoare like fathers to me, who
really loved being cared about me,And they both died in a very short
period of time, within a couplemonths of each other, and that that
(01:38):
sucks. Twenty men. Last year, my mom died. That made it
even more difficult because we didn't havea good relationship because I think my mom
resented me in a lot of ways. I think my mom resented me for
surviving. My mom did the bestshe could, She did her level best.
(02:01):
Her mom died when she was sixteen, and her dad died when she
was seventeen, and she didn't haveit easy. Her sister, her only
sister, was twelve years older.My mom figured things out and was thrown
on her feet, and she figuredout how to land and she married my
dad, and I don't know,you know, that's a whole other conversation,
but you know, they both didthe best they could. My dad
(02:21):
went to Vietnam within six months andthen meeting one another and being married,
Anne already had a kid on theway. I mean, life was a
very different time, and so Inever really held anybody accountable, or that's
not even the right word. Inever felt any resentment towards anyone in my
family, in particular my parents,because I know they did the best they
could and so, but in thelast year of her life, she decided
(02:45):
to very aggressively take away the verylittle bit of love that she was able
to give me. And the ironyof that is that my mom, my
mom raised me to be very independentand very intelligent. She you know,
fed me books as a kid andlet me read voraciously, and encouraged me
when I advanced in different areas,and you know, probably pushed me a
(03:07):
little bit too hard with some ofthe sports stuff and all that. She
also, you know, I wasusing sports as daycare method. I'm not
mad at that. You got fourkids, You're like, I'm dropping you
off for the pool. I mean, my mom used to wake up man.
You know, my mom used tocome home. My mom used to
work nights as a nurse, andshe would come home from working her shift
(03:27):
and get all of us out ofbed, all four of us, and
are matching homemade bathing Sits fuck anddrive us to the pool to the nights
Columbus and drop us off and we'dhave swim team practice and she would go
home at like seven am, andshe would go home and sleep for five
hours and then pick us up atnoon. And you know, as a
kid, I just remember being hungryand all the time. There's a lot
(03:52):
of things I remember about that,but I never fully appreciated that my mom
was only getting five hours to sleepafter like working as a nurse and providing
for so many people and getting usoff to school and then having five hours
to sleep, having no time forherself before we came home from school.
I mean, my mom really didthe best that she could, and she
raises to be super independent and Iand I was. I moved out at
seventeen, you know, having firstsurgery at nineteen, and I managed to
(04:15):
land on my feet all the time. And you know, that was one
of the conversations that she had withme one time. You know, she
said, um, I said,you know, I'm really struggling. I
really need your help. I reallyneed some guidance. And she said to
me, well, and this isafter like years, you know, years
of just no real engagement involving inmy life. And she said to me,
(04:38):
well, you always seem so fineon Facebook. And I thought to
myself, Man, well yeah,right, isn't that Isn't that the rub?
Right? Like we all seem fineon LinkedIn, We all seem fine
when we're showing up for these things. But are we fine? Right?
We're talking about our business is we'retalking about our numbers, We're talking about
(05:02):
you know, did you pivot,did you adapt? Did your business survive?
And all those things are great becauseif your business survived, that means
you kept people employed. No,ship very proud of the fact that I
man should keep people employed. Butlike, when do we talk about the
hard stuff. We're talking about vaccines, like you know, friendships or being
ended, families being destroyed, We'retalking about politics, fauci this that we're
(05:25):
talking about everything under the sun.But the incredible loss, you know,
and how is that going to manifest? How is that going to manifest in
in interpersonal relationships in the workforce?How is that going to manifest in relationships
with clients? You know, Ihad a client this year that I had
to very it was borderline, respectfully, tell them like they were not allowed
(05:48):
to speak to me or my staffthat way anymore. And I had to
remind them that, you know,we're recording for them at three in the
morning and jumping through hoops. Andin the meantime since we met them,
the world came to a complete haltand people have died and we've been struggling,
and it's really not okay to umtalk to anybody that way, and
(06:09):
how dare you? And and Idon't think that we really like addressed,
like what the impact of this ison us and how that impacts how we
speak to people, how we speakto vendors, how we speak to clients,
how we speak to our employees.I mean, how do we speak
to ourselves? Fuck? Right?You know? So this isn't a podcast
(06:32):
where like I have all the answers. Far from it. You know.
I took this little like marketing classwith Simone Soul. She's super badasshole of
her She's very honest and authentic,and she's just talking about showing up as
your authentic self, and I thought, well, fuck, my authentic self
sometimes isn't a lot of pain orsuper depressed them. I supposed to show
(06:55):
up and report record podcast when Ifeel like I just want to fucking cry.
Yeah, I think so, becausebecause it's real, and I don't
think there's a single person listening tothis. Hopefully there's more than a single
person listen to but I don't thinkthere's a I know, there's not a
(07:16):
single person who's gonna listen this whodidn't lose something that really fucking hurt in
the last three years. Maybe itwas your business, maybe he was your
marriage, maybe it was yourself.Maybe he was a child, maybe he's
a parent, maybe it was allof those things. And I just think
we need to be a little morekind. And I think we focus so
much on like, you know,everything is opening and events are happening again,
(07:38):
and tickets versus being sold, andthis is happening, and that okay,
a pandemic is over, and moveand move and move. But when
when do we just sit with eachother and say, hey, man,
you are right, you are right. You know. So I don't know.
So this week what I did asI really focused on the people in
(07:59):
my life that I like bring mea lot of joy, and I made
a list. So I have thesereally big windows behind me as you can
see, and my whole living roomsnothing but windows, which is awesome,
but it means there's no place tohang any artwork or a whiteboard. But
what I've learned is that I canput all of my stuff on the window
and then at night it magically disappearslike I don't have it to do list
(08:20):
anymore. It's awesome. I highlyrecommend. But I made a physical list
of the people in my life thatreally make me happy. And the reason
why is because I was listening tothe twenty five year anniversary of the twenty
one Irrefutable Laws of Leadership and theywere talking about John Maxwell was talking about
your entering your outer circle, andI just started thinking about who are the
(08:41):
people in my wife are really justlike make me feel good and like like
see me, people who see me? And so I wrote a list,
right, because lots of people thinkthey see me, and lots of people
think they know me, but there'svery few people who're like, no,
they know when I'm in pain,they know what I'm struggle. And everybody
(09:03):
else's saying something funny, you know, which I am. But I'm learning
through therapy that's a trauma response.But I think I'm still funny, you
know, I hope even after therapyI'm still funny. I don't want to
lose that side of me. Ithink that's like one of the genes you
get with being an Irish Catholic,and she's handed down to you. It's
a great gift of sarcasm and selfloathing. But yeah, I made this
(09:26):
list, and I and I andI reached out to some of these people
and I got to reach out tosome of them again. But it just
reminded me to be really grateful ofmy inner circle and to just you know,
we talk a lot about authenticity andmarketing and like what does that even
mean? And it's these like longfucking diatribes on LinkedIn with a you know,
that hook of a sentence, andI don't want to do that,
man, you know, I wantto just share with you, you know,
(09:46):
I just want to share with youwhat I'm learning, what I'm experiencing,
because it's honestly really helpful. Itkind of helps me be accountable.
I gotta get up and look presentableand you know, get in front of
this camera and work on my presentation. The worst part is I listen to
these afterwards, which is so painful. Good Lord, who wants to listen
to yourself. Apparently that's how youget better and spit some of my clients
(10:09):
all the time. So I stoppedsaying right as much. I don't know
if you guys noticed that in thelast couple episodes, but poco a poco,
as they say here in Costa Rica. So yeah, you know,
it's okay to be sad. It'sokay. You can be sad in a
beautiful place. I do it allthe time. And it's okay to be
sad in business. It's okay tobarely get off the couch but then show
(10:33):
up for that meeting or that salescall or whatever and crush it and hang
up and cry. It's okay.I'm gonna give you permission to do that.
You know, maybe some of youaren't criers, but you know,
maybe be better if you cry.And so they're drinking. I don't know.
Follow me for more lifetips, Butyou know what I've been doing writ
in that list, I've been exercisingmore. I've just been reading. I've
been listening to more audio books becauseit's kind of slowed down on that a
(10:54):
little bit, which is why Iadded the book report. Right, all
this is just a lesson and youknow, accountability for myself. So I'm
really curious to know what are youguys doing. You know, what are
you doing to manage this? Likeif you're a leader in particular right reading
the Laws of Leadership, which wouldbe next week's book report, because I
(11:15):
got one for today, it justmade me realize, Man, what a
shit job I've been doing and beinga leader man talking smack about my clients,
not all of them, because mostof them are great than I won.
It really pissed me off. Butyou know, I shouldn't be doing
that. I mean, I couldbe better. I could be better,
you know, am I addressing mystaffs like their grief and the time and
the things they need? I'm not. I'm not doing as good of a
(11:37):
job of that. So I justwant to be transparent. I just want
to hold myself accountable and I wantto be authentic. You know, my
name is Molly, and I strugglewith depression and I probably will for the
rest of my life. And Ithink that's what gives me a different artistic
eye on things that would I mean, living in so much pain my whole
life. You know a lot ofpeople I saw this post on the internet
(11:58):
the other day and said, youknow, for people in chronic pain like
me, being in chronic pain doesn'tnegate the pain that you're in, Like
it's not it's not it's not thesame, Like you could be in a
lot of pain. It doesn't makeit any least because I live with it
all the time. Right. Butwhat it did do living in a lot
of pain is it humbles the shitout of you and you have no room
to feel sorry for yourself because that'sjust a losing battle and like that shit
(12:18):
gets old anyway, right, likeoh poor me. Now, what it
does is it gives you empathy andmakes you feel connected to every person on
the planet, which is why sometimesliving in a city was really hard for
my soul because it just hurt.It hurt because I knew that I was
never more than one click away,you know, and I'm still not.
(12:41):
None of us are. So yeah, here it is on a day that
I don't really feel like showing up, I'm showing up talking about shit.
I don't want to talk about.Rest in peace. Mom, You know,
(13:01):
despite your better wishes, I'm here. I'm surviving and thriving. Thanks
for showing me its possible by notbelieving and hey, man, maybe next
week will be better. But eitherway, I'm showing up. I'm sharing
my thoughts and I hope that youguys can share with me some of the
things that you're doing to kind ofcombat all these feelings and all these moments.
(13:26):
You know, what are you doing? Meditating, reading, working out,
cooking good food, hanging out withfriends? What are you doing?
Men? Share that with me.I want to know. I want to
know what people are doing. Iwant to know how people are surviving.
I want to talk about it.Not because I have the answer, good
lord, No, most half ofmy answers involved Jamison. So you shouldn't
listen to me, or maybe youshould sometimes, but I want to know
(13:48):
what are you doing? What areyou doing? Share it with me?
Man? And yeah, until thenext one, be easy on yourself.
You know. I always say beexcellent to each other, but maybe this
week, just be excellent to yourselfwhatever that means. All right, it
is time for the book report.Read a book, Read a book?
All right? Shout out to BoumoneiArmah. We need to tag him in
(14:11):
this one for sure. But allright, I'm getting off track classic me,
but this week's book is called Bittersweet. And what I really liked about
this book is that I feel likeit really spoke to me in a lot
of ways because you know, I'vealways struggled to depression, right, That's
what this episode, whole episode isabout. I mean, first time I
was, you know, sent offto deal with my feelings, I was
(14:33):
in fourth grade. I mean thishas been I've had we let my therapist
do the heavy lifting on that one. But I have just always had this
sadness inside me as long as Ican remember, since I was a kid.
It was literally the first thing Ican recognize. It is like like
Dexter's dark Passenger, Like I don'tI ain't killing nobody, don't call the
cops on me, fuck, butlike it's there, man, It's just
(14:54):
always been there. But I've alwaysfelt like that's what gives me this like
the lens in which it like Isee things and the beauty I see in
the world and the humanity and thelove that I see in people. And
I'm grateful for that and I don'twant to take that away, even though
that means that there's some real badvalleys. Man, There are some valleys,
(15:15):
right, But it also there's somesummits and I get to see beautiful
things. And I think this bookdoes a really excellent job of kind of
summarizing all of that in a muchmore succinct way. It's kind of like
enjoying listening to sad music and embracingthat part. And I think we're you
know this whole. You know,there's always some keyword and some buzz weird
(15:37):
toxic positivity, right, but there'ssome truth to that. Man, Like,
you're not supposed to be happy allthe time, and she would be
weird. Man, you can't behappy all the time. It's happy all
the time. Nobody's happy all thetime. It's not real. So you
know, you gotta have sadness tohave happiness. You gotta have highs to
have lows, and and I thinkwe need to embrace that a little bit
more. And um, you know, she talks a lot about the relationship
(16:02):
that she has with her mom,and I just thought it was like,
really, it's just really a beautifulbook and it helped me kind of understand
myself a little bit better. Andso if you're looking for a book,
you know, it's not super businessdevelopment. I know it's two weeks in
a row. I know, buteverything can't be about learning. Okay,
maybe you need to learn about ourselvesfirst, But I think this is a
(16:23):
good book. I definitely recommend it. Really well produced, great audio,
nice voice. Five out of fivegiven a run. Especially if you're feeling
a little lost and a little bityou know, full of grief and not
really sure how to express yourself.I feel like that might be a good
place to start. So link isin the description. Check it out.
(16:47):
Until next week, be excellent toyourself. Thank you for tuning into the
next one hundred. Sponsored by heartcastMedia. We are a digital media creative
agency focusing on brand marketing, strategyand amplification for personal branding to podcasting.
We've got you covered, and tocontinue this conversation, join me on Instagram.
(17:10):
My personal account is Molly d Ruinedand of course you can also refine
us at heartcast Media. That's wherethe really good stuff is going down.
So join me there. Let's continuethe conversation and until next week, have
a good one. Produced by heartcastMedia,
Hey, thanks for turning in.It's nice to see you again, or
it's nice to be heard. Iguess I should say, welcome back to
the next one hundred. Today,I want to talk about grief. I
want to talk about all the lossand all of the sadness and all the
grief that we've all been dealing withfor the last three years, because it
(00:30):
feels like we're not talking about it. It feels like the pandemic hit and
it was pivot, pivot, pivotand adapt, and there was so much
division in vaccine opinions and this andthat, and man, the last election
cycle really destroyed a lot of families, and so there's just there's so much
(00:51):
loss, right, you know,I've been I've been thinking about for days
how I want to talk about this, and I'm not really sure. All
I know is I want to showup authentically right. I want to be
honest about where I'm at, becauseI think it's important. I think sometimes
we put people on these pedestals andwe think just because their business is doing
well or they're living in a niceplace, that like there's no problems,
and that's not real. And forme personally, grief has been a real
(01:15):
Mickey Flicky Man like. It hasbeen tough. Not a day goes by,
right. I don't think about thepeople in my life who passed away.
Will and Sam, two people whoare like fathers to me, who
really loved being cared about me,And they both died in a very short
period of time, within a couplemonths of each other, and that that
(01:38):
sucks. Twenty men. Last year, my mom died. That made it
even more difficult because we didn't havea good relationship because I think my mom
resented me in a lot of ways. I think my mom resented me for
surviving. My mom did the bestshe could, She did her level best.
(02:01):
Her mom died when she was sixteen, and her dad died when she
was seventeen, and she didn't haveit easy. Her sister, her only
sister, was twelve years older.My mom figured things out and was thrown
on her feet, and she figuredout how to land and she married my
dad, and I don't know,you know, that's a whole other conversation,
but you know, they both didthe best they could. My dad
(02:21):
went to Vietnam within six months andthen meeting one another and being married,
Anne already had a kid on theway. I mean, life was a
very different time, and so Inever really held anybody accountable, or that's
not even the right word. Inever felt any resentment towards anyone in my
family, in particular my parents,because I know they did the best they
could and so, but in thelast year of her life, she decided
(02:45):
to very aggressively take away the verylittle bit of love that she was able
to give me. And the ironyof that is that my mom, my
mom raised me to be very independentand very intelligent. She you know,
fed me books as a kid andlet me read voraciously, and encouraged me
when I advanced in different areas,and you know, probably pushed me a
(03:07):
little bit too hard with some ofthe sports stuff and all that. She
also, you know, I wasusing sports as daycare method. I'm not
mad at that. You got fourkids, You're like, I'm dropping you
off for the pool. I mean, my mom used to wake up man.
You know, my mom used tocome home. My mom used to
work nights as a nurse, andshe would come home from working her shift
(03:27):
and get all of us out ofbed, all four of us, and
are matching homemade bathing Sits fuck anddrive us to the pool to the nights
Columbus and drop us off and we'dhave swim team practice and she would go
home at like seven am, andshe would go home and sleep for five
hours and then pick us up atnoon. And you know, as a
kid, I just remember being hungryand all the time. There's a lot
(03:52):
of things I remember about that,but I never fully appreciated that my mom
was only getting five hours to sleepafter like working as a nurse and providing
for so many people and getting usoff to school and then having five hours
to sleep, having no time forherself before we came home from school.
I mean, my mom really didthe best that she could, and she
raises to be super independent and Iand I was. I moved out at
seventeen, you know, having firstsurgery at nineteen, and I managed to
(04:15):
land on my feet all the time. And you know, that was one
of the conversations that she had withme one time. You know, she
said, um, I said,you know, I'm really struggling. I
really need your help. I reallyneed some guidance. And she said to
me, well, and this isafter like years, you know, years
of just no real engagement involving inmy life. And she said to me,
(04:38):
well, you always seem so fineon Facebook. And I thought to
myself, Man, well yeah,right, isn't that Isn't that the rub?
Right? Like we all seem fineon LinkedIn, We all seem fine
when we're showing up for these things. But are we fine? Right?
We're talking about our business is we'retalking about our numbers, We're talking about
(05:02):
you know, did you pivot,did you adapt? Did your business survive?
And all those things are great becauseif your business survived, that means
you kept people employed. No,ship very proud of the fact that I
man should keep people employed. Butlike, when do we talk about the
hard stuff. We're talking about vaccines, like you know, friendships or being
ended, families being destroyed, We'retalking about politics, fauci this that we're
(05:25):
talking about everything under the sun.But the incredible loss, you know,
and how is that going to manifest? How is that going to manifest in
in interpersonal relationships in the workforce?How is that going to manifest in relationships
with clients? You know, Ihad a client this year that I had
to very it was borderline, respectfully, tell them like they were not allowed
(05:48):
to speak to me or my staffthat way anymore. And I had to
remind them that, you know,we're recording for them at three in the
morning and jumping through hoops. Andin the meantime since we met them,
the world came to a complete haltand people have died and we've been struggling,
and it's really not okay to umtalk to anybody that way, and
(06:09):
how dare you? And and Idon't think that we really like addressed,
like what the impact of this ison us and how that impacts how we
speak to people, how we speakto vendors, how we speak to clients,
how we speak to our employees.I mean, how do we speak
to ourselves? Fuck? Right?You know? So this isn't a podcast
(06:32):
where like I have all the answers. Far from it. You know.
I took this little like marketing classwith Simone Soul. She's super badasshole of
her She's very honest and authentic,and she's just talking about showing up as
your authentic self, and I thought, well, fuck, my authentic self
sometimes isn't a lot of pain orsuper depressed them. I supposed to show
(06:55):
up and report record podcast when Ifeel like I just want to fucking cry.
Yeah, I think so, becausebecause it's real, and I don't
think there's a single person listening tothis. Hopefully there's more than a single
person listen to but I don't thinkthere's a I know, there's not a
(07:16):
single person who's gonna listen this whodidn't lose something that really fucking hurt in
the last three years. Maybe itwas your business, maybe he was your
marriage, maybe it was yourself.Maybe he was a child, maybe he's
a parent, maybe it was allof those things. And I just think
we need to be a little morekind. And I think we focus so
much on like, you know,everything is opening and events are happening again,
(07:38):
and tickets versus being sold, andthis is happening, and that okay,
a pandemic is over, and moveand move and move. But when
when do we just sit with eachother and say, hey, man,
you are right, you are right. You know. So I don't know.
So this week what I did asI really focused on the people in
(07:59):
my life that I like bring mea lot of joy, and I made
a list. So I have thesereally big windows behind me as you can
see, and my whole living roomsnothing but windows, which is awesome,
but it means there's no place tohang any artwork or a whiteboard. But
what I've learned is that I canput all of my stuff on the window
and then at night it magically disappearslike I don't have it to do list
(08:20):
anymore. It's awesome. I highlyrecommend. But I made a physical list
of the people in my life thatreally make me happy. And the reason
why is because I was listening tothe twenty five year anniversary of the twenty
one Irrefutable Laws of Leadership and theywere talking about John Maxwell was talking about
your entering your outer circle, andI just started thinking about who are the
(08:41):
people in my wife are really justlike make me feel good and like like
see me, people who see me? And so I wrote a list,
right, because lots of people thinkthey see me, and lots of people
think they know me, but there'svery few people who're like, no,
they know when I'm in pain,they know what I'm struggle. And everybody
(09:03):
else's saying something funny, you know, which I am. But I'm learning
through therapy that's a trauma response.But I think I'm still funny, you
know, I hope even after therapyI'm still funny. I don't want to
lose that side of me. Ithink that's like one of the genes you
get with being an Irish Catholic,and she's handed down to you. It's
a great gift of sarcasm and selfloathing. But yeah, I made this
(09:26):
list, and I and I andI reached out to some of these people
and I got to reach out tosome of them again. But it just
reminded me to be really grateful ofmy inner circle and to just you know,
we talk a lot about authenticity andmarketing and like what does that even
mean? And it's these like longfucking diatribes on LinkedIn with a you know,
that hook of a sentence, andI don't want to do that,
man, you know, I wantto just share with you, you know,
(09:46):
I just want to share with youwhat I'm learning, what I'm experiencing,
because it's honestly really helpful. Itkind of helps me be accountable.
I gotta get up and look presentableand you know, get in front of
this camera and work on my presentation. The worst part is I listen to
these afterwards, which is so painful. Good Lord, who wants to listen
to yourself. Apparently that's how youget better and spit some of my clients
(10:09):
all the time. So I stoppedsaying right as much. I don't know
if you guys noticed that in thelast couple episodes, but poco a poco,
as they say here in Costa Rica. So yeah, you know,
it's okay to be sad. It'sokay. You can be sad in a
beautiful place. I do it allthe time. And it's okay to be
sad in business. It's okay tobarely get off the couch but then show
(10:33):
up for that meeting or that salescall or whatever and crush it and hang
up and cry. It's okay.I'm gonna give you permission to do that.
You know, maybe some of youaren't criers, but you know,
maybe be better if you cry.And so they're drinking. I don't know.
Follow me for more lifetips, Butyou know what I've been doing writ
in that list, I've been exercisingmore. I've just been reading. I've
been listening to more audio books becauseit's kind of slowed down on that a
(10:54):
little bit, which is why Iadded the book report. Right, all
this is just a lesson and youknow, accountability for myself. So I'm
really curious to know what are youguys doing. You know, what are
you doing to manage this? Likeif you're a leader in particular right reading
the Laws of Leadership, which wouldbe next week's book report, because I
(11:15):
got one for today, it justmade me realize, Man, what a
shit job I've been doing and beinga leader man talking smack about my clients,
not all of them, because mostof them are great than I won.
It really pissed me off. Butyou know, I shouldn't be doing
that. I mean, I couldbe better. I could be better,
you know, am I addressing mystaffs like their grief and the time and
the things they need? I'm not. I'm not doing as good of a
(11:37):
job of that. So I justwant to be transparent. I just want
to hold myself accountable and I wantto be authentic. You know, my
name is Molly, and I strugglewith depression and I probably will for the
rest of my life. And Ithink that's what gives me a different artistic
eye on things that would I mean, living in so much pain my whole
life. You know a lot ofpeople I saw this post on the internet
(11:58):
the other day and said, youknow, for people in chronic pain like
me, being in chronic pain doesn'tnegate the pain that you're in, Like
it's not it's not it's not thesame, Like you could be in a
lot of pain. It doesn't makeit any least because I live with it
all the time. Right. Butwhat it did do living in a lot
of pain is it humbles the shitout of you and you have no room
to feel sorry for yourself because that'sjust a losing battle and like that shit
(12:18):
gets old anyway, right, likeoh poor me. Now, what it
does is it gives you empathy andmakes you feel connected to every person on
the planet, which is why sometimesliving in a city was really hard for
my soul because it just hurt.It hurt because I knew that I was
never more than one click away,you know, and I'm still not.
(12:41):
None of us are. So yeah, here it is on a day that
I don't really feel like showing up, I'm showing up talking about shit.
I don't want to talk about.Rest in peace. Mom, You know,
(13:01):
despite your better wishes, I'm here. I'm surviving and thriving. Thanks
for showing me its possible by notbelieving and hey, man, maybe next
week will be better. But eitherway, I'm showing up. I'm sharing
my thoughts and I hope that youguys can share with me some of the
things that you're doing to kind ofcombat all these feelings and all these moments.
(13:26):
You know, what are you doing? Meditating, reading, working out,
cooking good food, hanging out withfriends? What are you doing?
Men? Share that with me.I want to know. I want to
know what people are doing. Iwant to know how people are surviving.
I want to talk about it.Not because I have the answer, good
lord, No, most half ofmy answers involved Jamison. So you shouldn't
listen to me, or maybe youshould sometimes, but I want to know
(13:48):
what are you doing? What areyou doing? Share it with me?
Man? And yeah, until thenext one, be easy on yourself.
You know. I always say beexcellent to each other, but maybe this
week, just be excellent to yourselfwhatever that means. All right, it
is time for the book report.Read a book, Read a book?
All right? Shout out to BoumoneiArmah. We need to tag him in
(14:11):
this one for sure. But allright, I'm getting off track classic me,
but this week's book is called Bittersweet. And what I really liked about
this book is that I feel likeit really spoke to me in a lot
of ways because you know, I'vealways struggled to depression, right, That's
what this episode, whole episode isabout. I mean, first time I
was, you know, sent offto deal with my feelings, I was
(14:33):
in fourth grade. I mean thishas been I've had we let my therapist
do the heavy lifting on that one. But I have just always had this
sadness inside me as long as Ican remember, since I was a kid.
It was literally the first thing Ican recognize. It is like like
Dexter's dark Passenger, Like I don'tI ain't killing nobody, don't call the
cops on me, fuck, butlike it's there, man, It's just
(14:54):
always been there. But I've alwaysfelt like that's what gives me this like
the lens in which it like Isee things and the beauty I see in
the world and the humanity and thelove that I see in people. And
I'm grateful for that and I don'twant to take that away, even though
that means that there's some real badvalleys. Man, There are some valleys,
(15:15):
right, But it also there's somesummits and I get to see beautiful
things. And I think this bookdoes a really excellent job of kind of
summarizing all of that in a muchmore succinct way. It's kind of like
enjoying listening to sad music and embracingthat part. And I think we're you
know this whole. You know,there's always some keyword and some buzz weird
(15:37):
toxic positivity, right, but there'ssome truth to that. Man, Like,
you're not supposed to be happy allthe time, and she would be
weird. Man, you can't behappy all the time. It's happy all
the time. Nobody's happy all thetime. It's not real. So you
know, you gotta have sadness tohave happiness. You gotta have highs to
have lows, and and I thinkwe need to embrace that a little bit
more. And um, you know, she talks a lot about the relationship
(16:02):
that she has with her mom,and I just thought it was like,
really, it's just really a beautifulbook and it helped me kind of understand
myself a little bit better. Andso if you're looking for a book,
you know, it's not super businessdevelopment. I know it's two weeks in
a row. I know, buteverything can't be about learning. Okay,
maybe you need to learn about ourselvesfirst, But I think this is a
(16:23):
good book. I definitely recommend it. Really well produced, great audio,
nice voice. Five out of fivegiven a run. Especially if you're feeling
a little lost and a little bityou know, full of grief and not
really sure how to express yourself.I feel like that might be a good
place to start. So link isin the description. Check it out.
(16:47):
Until next week, be excellent toyourself. Thank you for tuning into the
next one hundred. Sponsored by heartcastMedia. We are a digital media creative
agency focusing on brand marketing, strategyand amplification for personal branding to podcasting.
We've got you covered, and tocontinue this conversation, join me on Instagram.
(17:10):
My personal account is Molly d Ruinedand of course you can also refine
us at heartcast Media. That's wherethe really good stuff is going down.
So join me there. Let's continuethe conversation and until next week, have
a good one. Produced by heartcastMedia,
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