December 23, 2023 • 59 mins
I'm having a conversation about as a parent "DID I DO ENOUGH ?"
Have I given them the foundation to help them be progressive, Righteous Adults
I tried to do things differently from my childhood, however, I didn't turn out that bad
Join the conversation and tell me how you handle your parenting style when it comes to teaching your children about Jehovah God
the NEXT chapter
where we discuss shades of grey...
the revolution has begun...
Have I given them the foundation to help them be progressive, Righteous Adults
I tried to do things differently from my childhood, however, I didn't turn out that bad
Join the conversation and tell me how you handle your parenting style when it comes to teaching your children about Jehovah God
the NEXT chapter
where we discuss shades of grey...
the revolution has begun...
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
The views and opinions expressed in thisprogram are those of the participants and do
not reflect the views of the streamingplatforms, public access channels, the Kiddie
Rose Lifestyle, or the program underwriters. Simps from my feet, stopping out
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the negativity. Everybody not in frontof the meat spread, the loves,
the lumb moves deliberately by face soon. But the smiley happen ly boodling
girls. So they love the energy. You love the seventeen. So I
take the liberty to take on ajourney liberally the ways and caddy Wow.
(00:49):
Good evening, everyone, Welcome backto the next chapter where we discuss shades
of gray. I'm your host,Minister cat Akaiti Rose, and welcome back
to our second show at our newhome here at Los Centreal at our Bronx
Studios located in the South Bronx.What did you guys think last week?
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I know every time I saw theshow episode, I was excited and I
was impressed. So let's get rightinto what our topic of the week is
this week as we are making ourway again in our new home. So
this week's topic of a week,Topic of a week, Topic of a
Week, Okay, let's try thatagain. This is the week's topic of
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the week. You guys are ready, Okay, it's a mouthful here.
It is as a parent? DidI do enough? As a parent?
Did I do enough? This wasvery sentimental to me. I don't know
if you guys have noticed that there'sbeen a trend these last couple of weeks
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from talking about raising adult children totalking about life as an empty nester.
It got me to thinking, haveI done enough as a parent when it
came to laying the foundation to mychildren now as they're entering adulthood. You
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know, I started to reflect onmy own childhood in the directions that I
led. And what really got mejust thinking about this was a few years
ago my daughter was wearing a crossthat she got from a friend of hers,
and it got me like in myhands was raised, like, oh
my goodness, what are you doingwalking around with the cross? Because my
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belief, you know, from myperspective of Christianity, is that Jesus Christ,
Lord and Savior died on a stakeup and down during that time of
crucifications. They didn't kill people thisway, they kill them this way.
So according to the knowledge that I'maware of The cross is another idol that
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gets used. This is a touchyof subject gets used to manipulate because no
one gives worship or reverence to across thinking that they're doing something wrong.
So I e. When my daughterwas given this gift, no way,
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what everything I've taught her up untilthen, did she thinks she was doing
something wrong? Because in our referenceto Christ being our Lord and Savior,
that is our connection. And thennot only is that our connection, but
when it comes to I don't wantto say the Trinity, but the acknowledgment
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of God, the Holy Spirit inChrist, those three points is sometimes what
we use as reference again, notunderstand the significance and the blur when it
comes to worship and what and howwe worship or give reverence. So in
this technical, technical explanation that Ithought I gave my children growing up,
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I was bothered by her wearing across. But then the other part was
her acknowledgment and reverence to Christ.And that was something obviously that I helped
to instill that love for Christ.So that's important. So when I started
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to reflect and think about my ownchildhood, I started to think about you
know, I was raised in avery interesting, strict household. Even though
I did some things and did somethings my mother didn't know about. They
were so far in between for themost part. You know, we went
to school, we had our aftercareprograms, and we came home. But
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I was raised really what folks mightsay the church, I was really raised
in the Kingdom Hall. We hadfive meetings, three meetings a week,
and then in between our meetings wasstudy. And because my mother and father,
for the short time that I hadhim, was into academics. Between
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my secular studies and my spiritual studies, it really didn't leave room for much.
I don't remember extracurricular activities after schooloutside of daycare. When we grew
out of that we came home.I don't remember my mother was active with
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us growing up. But my motherwas active more with the things that she
wanted to do, like play paddiballand take us to the park. But
do I remember picnics? Do Iremember throwing the ball at Central Park?
I don't have those types of memories. I have a very rigid memory up
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until the age of fifteen of school, family, Kingdom Hall, preaching.
And I say all that to saythat I am grateful that I had a
foundation of Christianity, of Christ ofJehovah in my life, but it didn't
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stop anything else. I still wandered. I still, I still what's that
of shoplift? When I was likeeleven down South, I stole from someone
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I committed for unication at the ageof fourteen fifteen, I actively started having
sex. At the age of eighteen, I tried I never tried drugs.
I've done some illegal activity along inmy life, So all that strict upbringing
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didn't deter me from anything. Itmight have protected me on some level,
but I still I don't know actedout if that's even what I did.
So when I started to do theresearch thinking about my own childhood versus the
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childhood that I've given my children,it was Google the Bible of Information was
stating that it could be very painfulto realize that the child that you have
worked so hard to raise is notliving up to their potential. Even more
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heartbreaking is the realization that you maynot have had a very good relationship with
them. Sometimes these issues can makeyou feel like you have failed. As
parents, we tend to think thatif anything goes wrong with our kids.
It's our fault. Not only dowe have the pressure that we put on
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ourselves, we may also have wellmeaning family members and the rest of society
sending us those same blaming messages.But it's more likely that you did the
very best that you knew how todo at each junction of your child's life.
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Some things may have been more effectiveand some less effective, but you
did your best, and I wouldhave I have to say, for the
most I can agree with that becausewhen I now hindsight visually look at my
twenty year old, my twenty fiveyear old, and my twenty eight year
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old, I'm noticing, well,what kind of people have they become?
So is there room for blame?I don't know. Let's discuss by going
into our first video, which isthe four most important choices you can make
as a parent from Crystal pain fromWell, Crystal Praine is not it's not
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her, she's speaking on focus onthe family. You guys can check that
out more by going to like Isaid, the four most important choices you
can make as a parent. Let'scheck it out. It wasn't doing enough.
I was constantly going to bed,psychoanalyzing and second guessing myself. I
should have done that. Why didI do that? Why did I respond
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like that? And I felt thisweight on me that it was never enough
and that everyone else was doing itso much better than me, and I
was just constantly failing my kids andwas also that weight of my reputation.
I cared so much what other peoplethought of me as a parent, and
it just was constant exhaustion and stress. There was a moment where this kind
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of became the moment of awareness.I think you were dropping one of your
children off at school and something wentdown that got your attention. What happened?
Yes, So it was about fouryears ago and our kids were going
to this little Christian school and myhusband was dropping the three of them off,
and the principal met him and saidI need to meet with you and
your wife and one of a specificchild after school. And he came home
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and he told me this, andhe's like, this is not good.
We just both felt like we don'tknow what this is about, but something
really bad is about to go down. And we were just kind of trying
to think through everything that had happenedthe last week, and we couldn't come
up with what could this be andthe principle tells us that our child had
done something that had broken the school'scode of conduct and was very serious and
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that swift action needed to be taken. And we were just really blindsided by
the whole thing because it had justhappened the day before. We thought everything
was fine, like we had neverthe day before. It was just a
normal day, and our child hadreally hidden this from us, and then
wasn't even willing to in the principal'soffice admit that they had done that,
And it took a long time forour child to actually say, no,
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I did I did that. Andso then we spent the next few weeks
really meeting with families and unpacking andtrying to figure out, you know,
what is going on? How didwe miss this, and finding out that
there was so much more than justthis one incident, And that's really hard
as a parent to feel like you'vecompletely missed something that your child was really
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struggling with and had been struggling withfor months. In fact, we found
out that a lot of the otherparents had been talking, a lot of
them had gone to the principal,and then they had even labeled our child
a bully and we were clueless.Hm. How many of you felt what
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she said? Let's recap. Shetalked about feelings of never feeling enough.
She talked about feelings of thinking aboutyour reputation more than maybe what's actually going
on at home, not knowing thinkingwe know everything. I who I felt
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that one even when you're an involvedparent, she wasn't a parent one two
parent household. She wasn't a parentthat wasn't questioning or being aware of what
she thought was going on in herhousehold. But after further I don't know.
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I won't even say investigation, justmore conversation where the child admitted eventually,
yes, I'm actively involved in X, Y and Z. What now
becomes difficult is facing those issues upfront that one you might have missed something,
or two, okay you caught something, you didn't miss it. Now
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we can deal with it. Butcan we move away from the embarrassment of
having to deal with it. Iknow as a parent, I definitely have
had situations where I thought I knewwhat was going on too, in particular
so growing up my middle son.You know, and this is another reason
why this is a sensitive topic,because my children have asked not to be
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used anymore when it comes to discussingtopics that face us as that face us
as a society. But I can'thelp but use my own testimony of growth
in a way awareness and understanding byshowing you or telling you the examples that
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directly happened to me that unfortunately involvesthem. So I apologize to my children
right now for being this vulnerable bysharing the following stories. I'm getting ready
to sh I'm getting ready to share, but I'm hoping what's that thing you
know asks for forgiveness later, thatyou will forgive me after hopefully the information
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I shared shared some impact of otherparents who have felt this way or or
who are feeling this way in theactual moment. So I remember when my
middle son was in the f uhhis freshman year in high school. And
you know, freshman here in highschool is is challenging and exciting because they're
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no longer like these little people anymore. You know, middle school is preparing
them now for this middle phase ofyoung adulthood. So you know, at
this point he was doing softball,but now that he's in high school,
that no longer was happening. Sowe hadn't put him in a program yet
and he got caught after school oneday smoking weed. Now, when we
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found out that he was smoking weed, right away we were like, Okay,
he has too much time on hishands after school. Let's do something
other than having him have this freetime. So collectively we decided to put
him in wrestling. So now he'smore of an athlete because he did softball,
now he's doing wrestling. Those issuesare now off the table because now
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he's actively involved in something that hehas to stay health conscious about. So
we were able to become aware ofsomething even though we didn't know or even
would have never assumed that our child, our perfect child, would partaken.
But once finding out that he wasinvolved in something, instead of feeling ashamed,
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oh my god, or in denial, no, not our son,
we found a solution and took careof it. Let's go to a break.
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So that was one situation, andI said, I had a second
one for you. But I thinkthat that was the issue that I wanted
to really like bring to home isthat sometimes, we, like I said,
could really think that we're are theseinvolved parents. Oh I know what
I wanted to say to you guys. So yeah, we could think that
you're in this involved parent, andfor the most part you can be.
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But also I found out later onon years later, you know, when
we're having current family gatherings. Rightagain, my children are twenty twenty five
and twenty eight. So when now, you know, whenever we have family
gatherings, we sit around the kitchentable as most families do, and we
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you know, talk about we reminisceon old times, and these kids of
mine will talk about all of thesestories of things that they did that I
had no idea about, things thatthey did to their sister, videos that
they made on YouTube, things thatthey did. You know, my son
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says to me, My oldest sonsays to me the other day, Yeah,
you know, I'm not the problem. You know, I've I'm not
gonna tell you what that situation was. But the point that I'm making is
that you could be thinking that you'resuch an involved you know everything, you
know what time they're here, youknow what time they're they're You got this
schedule they have to check in here, you have the find my the finder
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on your phone, tracking like allthese things, and you can still miss
something. So now, what isthe point. The point is I recently
heard, oh you'll see in oneof the videos coming up, that we're
not raising children, we're raising adults. And we started out saying that it
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becomes painful to realize that the workthat you put in with them as children
may not pan out as adults.So when I think about my childhood and
now my result as an adult,my results as an adult one hundred and
ten comes from the foundation that wasgiven to me as a child. So
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even though I might have went differentdirections in life, I always still had
a sense of what that foundation wasin my servants, in my gratitude,
in my reverence to the creator,and that held me, that covered me,
that protected me from not going allthe way left. I committed a
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few a fruit. I can't evensay that I committed I committed a few
crimes instead of more crimes and becominga criminal. You know what I'm saying,
Not that becoming a criminal is anyless than because I only committed three
or four. But the point thatI'm making is that I could have done
a whole lot more. But Iwant to show you guys the research in
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my second video, because the secondvideo comes into the overall idea of what
it is that we want when itcomes to wearing our adults. Because the
name of this video is how toraise these successful kids without over parenting.
Let's go I'm gonna break this upin two points. Let's go to the
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first one, parents who aren't involvedenough in the lives of their kids and
their education or their upbringing, andrightly so. But at the other end
of the spectrum, there's a lotof harm going on there as well,
where parents feel a kid can't besuccessful unless the parent is protecting and preventing
at every turn, and hovering overevery happening and micromanaging every moment and steering
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their kid towards some small subset ofcolleges and careers. When we raise kids
this way, and I'll say we, because Lord knows, and raising my
two teenagers, I've had these tendenciesmyself, our kids end up leading a
kind of checklisted childhood. And here'swhat the checklisted childhood looks like. We
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keep them safe and sound and fedand watered, and then we want to
be sure they go to the rightschools, but not just that that they're
in the right classes at the rightschools, and if they get the right
grades and the right classes and theright schools. But not just the grades
the scores, and not just thegrades of scores, but the accolades and
the awards, and the sports andthe activities and the leadership. We tell
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our kids don't just join a club, start a club because colleges want to
see that and check the box forcommunity service. I mean, show the
colleges you care about others. Didyou hear yourself? Did you see yourself?
How many of us saw ourselves inthat description as this helicopter or over
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confensating or over parmenting or micro managingyour child's life. Woof, I know
I saw myself. I think wecreate this picture perfect checklist and we put
this pressure on our children, andthen we put this pressure on ourselves.
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But how successful do we become.Let's go to the second half of the
video, childhood providing a foundation fortheir success built on things like love and
chores. Did I just say yours? Did I just say yours? I
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really did? But really, here'swhy. The longest longitudinal study of humans
ever conducted, it's called the HarvardGrant Study. It found that professional success
in life, which is what wewant for our kids, That professional success
in life comes from having done choresas a kid, and the earlier you
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started, the better. That willroll up your sleeves and pitch in mindset,
a mindset that says, there's someunpleasant work. Someone's got to do
it, it might as well beme. A mindset that says, I
will contribute my effort to the bettermentof the whole. That that's what gets
you ahead in the workplace. Nowwe all know this. You know this,
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We all know this. And yetin the checklisted childhood, we absolve
our kids of doing the work ofchores around the house, and then they
end up as young adults in theworkplace, still waiting for a checklist,
but it doesn't exist, and moreimportantly, lacking the impulse, the instinct
to roll up their sleeves and pitchin and look around and wonder, how
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can I be useful to my colleagues? How can I anticipate a few steps
ahead to what my boss might need. A second, very important finding from
the Harvard Grant study said that happinessin life comes from love, not love
of work. Love of humans,our spouse, our partner, our friends,
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our family. So childhood needs toteach our kids how to love,
and they can't love others if theydon't first love themselves, and they won't
love themselves if we can't offer themunconditional love. Yes, I agree,
I agree, I agree, Iagree. That was Julie Lifcock Haynes,
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and that was one of her techtalks that she was doing again how to
raise successful kids without overparenting. WhatI enjoyed about this video was giving our
children the foundation right because we're raisingadults so preparing them for chores, so
we have this image of what wewant to prepare them for, right,
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So we have like the Catch twentytwo, we have we're teaching our children's
almost this entitlement that all you gottado is work hard, or you gotta
do is study. All you gottado is work hard, or you gotta
do is study. All you gottado is work hard, or you gotta
do is study, and everything youwant will come to you. But we
forget about the other little things sometimes, like responsibility, i e. Chores
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giving them a sense of responsibility,giving them a sense of routine, giving
them a sense of pulling up yoursleeve and working as a unit in a
household that just is not just aboutthem and even if it is just about
them having the tendencies now to beresponsible for themselves in this household that they
will eventually live in alone. Howare we teaching them to contribute or are
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we teaching them to lack the impulseon how to be more useful because we've
taught them to be self centered.So now again my own reflection, when
I thought about as a parent,have I done enough? Because my daughter
had a cross on. But nowwhen I have a conversation with her and
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I hear how enlightened she is,especially in this particular point in her life
where she's finishing up her last yearin college and her brothers are encouraging her
that you're working too hard. Youshould just enjoy, you should party,
you, should you do this,And she's very tunnel vision and very focused
of no, this is why I'mgonna do and how I'm gonna do it,
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and why I'm gonna do it,but very clear at twenty when I
have conversations with my son at twentyfive and he talks about, yes,
you know, last year in educationwas challenging for him, so he thought
he might wanna change the finance becausehe is a mathematician, he's good with
numbers, and you know, ina world where we're driven more by money,
I can make more in finance,but he decided that's not what I
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want. I I wanna serve mycommunity. I want to be a principal.
So you know what, I'm gonnacome back to education and I'll put
two or three years in that andset on my way to being a principal
so that I can serve my communityin that way. Service at twenty five,
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twenty year old focus to her,her ending, her beginning, her
middle, what she wants, howher plan after school, what she's doing
now, how she wants to doit, why she wants to do it.
Very she told me the other day. She was like, you know,
I'm very money driven, and I'mokay with that, but again being
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okay with where she's at in life, because she was like, because I
like the finer things. I likethis, that and the third. So
I'm gonna work in a career thatallows me to do X, Y and
Z. I am not interested inpartying. I'm not interested in doing that,
you know what, Huh. Ilike my life at twenty and then
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we have my twenty eight year oldwho is approaching thirty, still trying to
find himself. But what I likeabout my oldest, what I'm encouraged about
my oldest, is that in thefinding yourself, I work hard. I
go to work every day. I'mdedicated, I'm a good worker, I'm
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trustworthy. So whatever the situation heends up in, it's always a progressive
one because he is good at whathe does, because he follows through,
and he innately is a good personwith responsibility. Let's take a break in
fact, could be you could beme, just one walcome all in my
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shoes, walk all. You know, you don't have to wear your pet
gear anymore. Right, It's comfortable, how civilian like treating you. When
I got out, I didn't wantto admit that there was anything wrong because
I felt like a failure. Andthen I realized, like there's nothing to
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be ashamed of. So I startedtalking to someone. Maybe you're fine.
If you're not, it's okay,thank you. If you are a veteran
you know needs support, don't wait, reach out find resources at VA dot
gov slash reach. And I hadto realize, you know, about my
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children, how important chores actually was, and chores are especially you know when
both my youngest children was going tocollege, because that's really you know,
the time that they're now on theirown learning the skills that you've given them
prior to going to college. Andeven my oldest boy when he moved on
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his own, and what my daughternoticed and my son was that he lived
with roommates that didn't know how todo their laundry. And we laugh all
the time we see this on televisionas a joke that when kids bring their
launch home or when you know,kids say, oh, I don't know
how to you know, wash betweenmy whites and my colors. We ha
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ha ha, we laugh. Butthat's a serious situation, you know.
I remember growing up my grandmother andmy aunt used to always get on my
aunt about how she took care ofherself doing you know, the times we
as women are changing through our seasonsand not being just throw it away or
just you know, so you know, not mindful of how we clean ourselves
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doing this different times of the yearor excuse me, different times of the
month, and you would realize thatyou think that your parents are netpicking you
until you actually get to see incollege or living on your own with roommates
that while learning responsibility actually was helpful, was useful where you saw that for
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others that you would live with thatdid not get that upbringing because they were
in a situation where that entitlement waspresent. Because sometimes parents, you know,
we're trying to do things different thanthe way our parents didn't. We're
trying to have less restrictions. We'retrying to you know, not be their
friend, but not necessarily be likethis, you know, this dictator over
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them the way that our parents weretrying to you know, be lighter and
being lighter and being more encouraging.You can do it. The world is
yours. That's where that catch twentytwo of entitlement comes in, where when
they get to a certain age wherethey don't know how to do something or
they don't want to do something,they're like, well, i'll just hire
someone, or I'll just bring ithome to my mother, or I'll just
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you know, have my mom doit, and we end up paying the
course and they end up paying thecourse. Does that make sense? So
this last video kind of wraps upwhat I was thinking or how I was
learning to adapt or even be okaywith what I've done up until now,
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because parenting has not stopped. Butwhat up until now I've done as a
parent so far. This last videois Michelle Obama and she is talking about
parenting partnerships and turning your rage intochange. Check it out. But you
still have to be ready for yourkids to evolve. You know, who
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they are at four and seven isnot and what they need from you is
very different from what they need fromyou as teenagers and then again as young
women. But if you've laid afoundation of trust and honesty, every stage
I found is wonderful. It's full, it's exciting. I don't miss any
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stage. I loved every stage ofparenting my girls, but I wouldn't go
back to any of the stages.Don't long for the time when they were
babies. I love that time breastfeedingwhen you you know, you could sit
and hold them and look at themforever. But now that they're young women,
you know, and now I'm lessof a day to day manager and
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more of an advisor. There's athere's a freedom to enjoy them as individuals,
to watch them grow. And Ithink that's been the case for me
and my mom as well with yourgirls, that it's not been comfortable for
you the idea of stepping back fromthat manager role and letting them leave,
letting them be the people who makeyou and your husband, as you say,
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weak martinis when you come and visita fair apartment that I couldn't stop
laughing when I read that. Youknow what, that's that it is a
hard thing to do to let yourkids be, you know, in this
era of helicopter parenting, you know, where I think parents are very maybe
overly involved in their kids' lives.I was raised to be handed my competence
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early. You know, my motherraised her. As I write in the
book, she says her job isto put herself out of a job early.
So she started at a very earlyage requiring us to be independent.
You know, as early as kindergarten. She gave us alarm clocks because she
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knew that we were capable of gettingourselves up. She wanted us to feel
the power of our competence. Sofrom five years old I was setting an
alarm. Soon thereafter I was walkingto school by myself. And what that
does for a kid when your parentstrust you, you know, it encourages
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you. It tells you that ifmy mom thinks I can do this,
then I must be capable. AndI've tried to instill that same kind of
stand by the gate and watch yourkids fly, be there for them when
they come back, let them knowthat you will be their advocate, but
don't step in and try to livetheir lives for them. And so when
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I see my kids flourishing in thatway, when I see them owning all
their choices and succeeding and failing ontheir own terms and growing from that process,
it is one of the most satisfyingexperiences. It is frightening. It
is frightening to watch your children walkinto a brick wall, but that's what
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growth is. And you know,and too many parents try to stop that
process, but that's the quickest wayfor them to learn, to learn from
owning their mistakes and owning their victoriesat the same time. Don't we just
love Michelle. She's always going tobe our first lady. She is just
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I think what happens. What Ilove about Michelle is there there's like a
calmness in her delivery, and that'swhat helps us when it comes to messaging.
You know, we all can saythe same stuff, but I'll delivery
our tone in which we deliver.The message is how it carries through to
the person who's listening. So,oh, thank you, Michelle. What
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did you think about the wisdom thatshe gave. I know that I was
encouraged. I don't necessarily agree witheverything that her mother did with her and
her brother growing up. I rememberthe first time, at I think at
eleven, I let Isaiah go toschool by hisself on the train. Oh
my goodness, no, not evenon the train. I had put him
in a cab and thought I lostmy child. It was it was not.
(36:37):
I don't know we can recommend thathere in these New York City streets.
However, I do understand the response, the response or the meaning she
meant about responsibility and giving them asense of responsibility at a young age.
And I think that that is whatis one of the goals we have as
(36:57):
parents when raising children, huh,when raising adults, is that we want
to be able to teach them notonly the fundamentals for them to be good
people, but for the fundamentals forthem to be able to be progressive and
learn and make mistakes on their own. When she said that she likes this
age or this stage right now,I had to think about that. I
(37:21):
definitely miss certain stages in life,but I don't know if I would want
to go back to any of thosestages. I know teenagehood was very difficult
for me and my firstborn, whichmade it difficult for the other two even
though we all made it through.I think that we're in such a great
place now, definitely because of thehardship along the way, but also the
(37:43):
blessings that we learned through those hardshape in regards to understanding and patience.
You know. I love how shesays that now she's an advisor and the
freedom that comes with watching and enjoyingher children be adults and stepping back and
(38:06):
letting her kids be, not beingthis helicopter parent. Or remember we discussed
that a few weeks back when Cornelwas with us, about possibly putting the
phone on mute so that sometimes wecould just hold back, even from input,
just being a listening or sounding boardto our adult children. I want
to go into this further, butbefore we do, let's go to a
break. Adding your own flavor tofashion comes with age, Okay, Dad,
(38:37):
look at you forgetting how to add? Doesn't finding it difficult to work
with numbers? May be a signof Alzheimer's. An early diagnosis can help
improve the quality of life for yourluck one learn the warning signs of Alzheimer's.
Some things come with age, someothers don't. I tell my son
(39:00):
I love you every single day.I love you. Now, my dad
has never said that to me,not because he doesn't love me, but
because culturally it was uncomfortable for him. Now that he's a grandfather, he
says I love you to my sonevery time he sees him. My advice
to all the fathers out there,forget the cultural restrictions. They grow up
(39:22):
way too fast for you to wasteeven a single precious moment. So when
I think about the different stages again, yes, I am grateful for the
different stages that we were able toget through. And I do like the
stage that I'm in right now,the certain things and the certain kinds of
conversations that I now have with mytwenty year old daughter that I'm looking forward
(39:45):
to us getting to as she becomesolder, The conversations I have with both
my sons at the age at thatend, when we talk about life.
I'm enjoying watching them become a I'menjoying watching them be adults, because,
like Quinnell said, when they areready, they will come back. And
(40:09):
I realize that that is true.Even at the age that they're at now
they call me, they check onme, they still lacks for advice.
So this position right now of notbeing the everyday parent, but the advisory
position, the fact that I'm there, I think it is a little credit
(40:30):
to me being somewhat of a goodparent. I did something right because they
call now, they acts now foradvice, for love, for comfort,
for grace, for encouragement, justto say hi. I remember last week
(40:50):
we said there was a video thatI showed that the guy said, if
your kids call you back, that'sa level of success. So when I
think about my life right now withmy children, even with the heartaches we
had, which were were they heartachesor were they just life experiences that I've
(41:12):
had as an adult, that I'vehad as a person, and now I've
had as a person who happens tobe an adult raising or excuse me,
who happens to be a parent raisingthree other people, and in that parenting
raising three other people. Remember,again, I wasn't by myself. I
was a divorced parent, but Ico parent all the way up until even
(41:35):
now, so that it's also abenefit in sometimes a catch twenty two because
sometimes we all think that co parentingthat's the best, that's the greatest,
and I think, for the mostpart, ideally it is. But when
you have two different households, oreven two different ways of believing or feeling
(41:58):
about things, even within the samehousehold, I'm gonna tell you a secret.
I know a couple of parents whowish they were single parents. I
know a couple of parents that oncethere one of their parents made the transition
that they had a level of easewhen it came to now raising their adult
(42:23):
children, because sometimes that can actuallybe was difficult when it comes to raising
our children the other parent. Sowhen you can get through the other parent
in the same household or a separatehousehold, and look at again the end
result, or maybe not the endresult, or the one of the ending
(42:47):
results of the next stage of anotherstage that they're going to complete, because
we've done our job in the foundationof their adolescent years. My mother did
her job for my adolescent years.Since I was out of my household at
the age of fifteen, the restof my life was on me. Yes,
(43:13):
I had a year with my grandmother. Yes, I had a village
of angels, elders, shepherds aroundme growing up that helped, instructed me,
helped guide me, help encourage mealong the way. Because I think,
you know, it's funny. Ithink when God knows that you missing
in one area, he fills thatvoid in others. So I think because
(43:35):
I did not have that parent toadvice for the rest of my life from
either one of my parents, hegave me these angels along the way as
my guides, as these parental figuresalong the way in my life, which
again made me do differently when itcame to the raising of my children.
(43:57):
And I think that even though myfoundation i'm grateful for, I'm grateful for
those fifteen years of strict not sostrict, being aware, not being aware,
not having me involved in X,Y and Z, whatever was done
for the best of her ability,for what she knew at the time,
(44:17):
for what she was given. I'mgrateful because even if what it did was
teach me the opposite, it stillgave me a different perspective when raising my
children. Now, what is mymother's or my parents and result to their
children one out of three ain't bad. No, my brother's are decent people
(44:43):
as well, and that was withoutthe helicopter parents. But again we still
have somewhat of a foundation that wasgiven us. Me and my brothers are
only three years apart. My meand my middle brother are a year apart.
Me and my younger brother are threeyears apart. So whatever foundation I
(45:04):
was given, they was given becausewe were right there and there. And
when I left the house at fifteen, they left the house of maybe two
or three years, two years reallysoon after that. So again for the
majority of that small pocket of life, the foundation that they were given,
the foundation I was given, theywas given. And I believe even with
(45:27):
the things that they went through inlife that their foundation still kept them covered
to the adults that they are now. So in the way that I'm raising
my children, or the way thatI'm raising my adults, when I look
back, and here is our Jesusmoment, let's bring it, oh,
our Jesus moment, when I thinkabout as a whole, the Jesus moment.
(45:52):
It took me to Ephesians. Excuseme, not Ephesians. It took
me to Deuteronomy. It took meto Douteronomy six Versus six through nine,
and I'm gonna paraphrase that these commandmentsthat I give you today are to beat
on your hearts, impress them onyour children, talk about them when you
(46:14):
sit at home, and when youwalk along the road, when you lay
down, and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands,
and bind them on your foreheads.Write them on the doorframes of your
house and on your gates. Andwhere I thought I failed was because I
didn't take my kids to the KingdomHall every week, because I didn't take
(46:35):
my kids to church every week.Because I allowed my children to partake in
Christmas and Thanksgiving, and that's prettymuch it, you know, that they
do with their father and that theydo with me. So I felt that
because I lacked in those things,that I didn't do enough, that I
didn't give them enough spiritually because Ididn't give them the routine and the redgie
(47:00):
that I had growing up. Butthe routine and the regiment I had growing
up didn't guarantee anything for me.So the routine and regiment that I did
not give my children still allowed themto be good and wholesome people. Because
I spoke about the love of God, the love of Jehovah. All day,
(47:24):
every day, I talked about beingrighteous. I talked about the sacrifice
that Christ made in giving up hislife and what that gave us, and
the hope of the resurrection and livingin paradise. I talked to them and
I share scriptures with them, andI gave them opportunity to make the choice
(47:44):
of Bible study. After each oneof them went through their rights of passage,
which is also a spiritual pilrigage.My daughter decided to get baptized.
My daughter decided to have the Jehovah, and this is coming to our home
and study the Bible. Now theymight not be diligent in that today at
(48:06):
twenty twenty three, But the beautyis of my explore, my exploration in
the scriptures, my exploration in connectingcloser to Jehovah God happened over a course
of time, happened over a courseof years. I might have become closer
to serving Jehovah now in my life. I remember in the movie Ali right
(48:29):
Will Smith is depicting Ali, andthere's a scene in the movie where Ali
is in Africa and he has thiswoman that he's talking to and he says
that Islam found him too young becausehe had a problem, you know,
being faithful to his wife, becausehe was attracted to women. But he
(48:49):
was a faithful, spiritual man whostill you know, wasn't ready for the
dedication. So you know, I'mgrateful that on their own they go to
look and understand the scriptures and theirrelationship with the Creator. Let's take a
break. You know, how youfeel on the inside is just as important
(49:10):
to me as how you feel onthe outside. Grown up. I know
you are grown up and you areokay. We're not okay. I'll take
(49:32):
care of you. Oh God,you've done the hard part. You quit
smoking. Now do the easy partand get scanned for lung cancer. If
(49:57):
you smoked, you may still beat risk, but early detection could save
your life. Talk to your doctorand learn more at Savedbythscan dot org.
Hey everyone, before we go toour next segment, I just wanted to
finish one thought in the Jesus momentthat I wanted you to really get at
(50:19):
home again since I was a regularroutine in life talking about God in our
house when I talked about is thatjust enough? Sometimes folks think that it's
not. But teaching your children howto love God is a whole life process.
Don't just regulate it to family Biblestudy or church on Sunday mornings.
Parenting your kids to know and loveJesus is something you never stop doing.
(50:44):
So that is my goal, andthat is my hope as a parent,
that I never stop teaching and showingthe impact of what Christ and serving Jehovah
God is in your life, andhoping that leading by example is ultimately what
gives my children successful lives as andon't all right, guys, here it
is you're ready for our fifth installmentof Did you Know? Did you Know?
(51:07):
I'm really enjoying this segment and thisparticular topic was it's a part two
off of Know Your Rights? Becauseto Know Your Rights got so much hits
and reshares on TikTok that I feltlike this was a subject that we needed
to come back to. But Iwanted to talk about our constitutional rights.
(51:29):
And the reason why I wanted todiscuss what our constitutional rights are is because
when I google what the amendments were, right, it had ten amendments,
but there were still more fourteen fifteen, sixteen seventeen much much more than their
initial ten. And when I google, how much of us know what our
(51:53):
rights are? Or what of theamendments that we don't know? It said
that poor knowledge of the first it'sthe Amendment rights. Less than half forty
percent of people name freedom of religion. Excuse me? What was lacking that
people didn't know about their first ortheir constitutional rights? And it mentioned it
(52:15):
was poor knowledge of the First Amendmentrights. Less than half forty percent named
freedom of religion, a third thirtythree percent name the right to assembly,
and just over a quarter twenty eightpercent name freedom of press, and less
than one in ten nine percent newthe right to petition the government. So
(52:39):
even though we have ten listed asprime, there are so much more that
we should really take the time togoogle, take the time to go to
the library, take the time toresearch to see how they impact our day
to day life. So I'm justgonna kind of briefly go through ten of
them. First amendment being Congress shallmake no law respecting an establishment of religion
(53:06):
or prohibiting the free exercise thereof freedomof speech, the press, or the
right of people to peacefully assemble.And the petition the Government for a rareness
of grievousness. So we kind ofall know that one that we have the
right of free speech, except foryelling fire in a movie theater. Our
(53:27):
second Amendment is the right of peopleto keep and bear arms. Now some
people think that we don't have thisin certain states, but that actually is
not correct. So we can allhave guns if we go through the legal
proper ways of having them. Thethird Amendment, no soldier in a time
of peace be quartered in anyone's housewithout the consent of the owner. Fourth
(53:50):
Amendment the right of people to besecure. Let me say this again.
Fourth Amendment is the right of thepeople to be secure in persons houses,
papers, and effects against unreasonable searchesand siezures. Pretty much, you need
a warrant. We talked about thatalso with Know Your Rights. The Fifth
Amendment protects against self incrimination. Thesixth Amendment. In criminal prosecutions, the
(54:19):
cue shall enjoy the right to aspeedy trial. The seventh Amendment protects the
child. The trial protects trial byjewelry for the The amendment objective was to
preserve a distinction between the responsibilities ofthe court deciding matters of law and the
(54:39):
jury such as deciding matters of fact. That's the seventh Amendment. The eighth
excessive bail shall not be required.Ninth and this is hyphenated explanations. Do
your research and go for yourself tofind out how these amendments affect your day
to day life. Ninth Amendment.The existence of the written constitutions should not
(55:05):
be treated or an excuse for notstill extending someone's human rights. The government
can't take away the rights of theAmerican people that are not specifically listed in
the US Constitution. And the tenthAmendment allows the powers not specifically given to
the federal government to be given tothe states and the people of the States.
(55:30):
It allows for the states to createspecific guidelines and regulations separate from the
federal government. Now, if you'renot understanding all the details to those explanations,
again, I advise you to goand do the research for yourself.
Find out why these rights are importantfor you to know again in your day
(55:53):
to day living here in the UnitedStates of America. So that's it,
everyone, We finished another episode ofour show. Whoo. That was awesome.
I had a good time. Thisis the part of the show that
I need all of you to youknow, do what what do I need
(56:15):
you guys to do? You know, follow like and share, follow like
and share. And on that note, I appreciate you go to the Facebook
group page to see the behind scenes, ask your inbox questions, see what
(56:36):
we're discussed when we are, youknow, setting up our shots to bring
you our weekly program, and justoverall kind of just to peep and see
what's going on in the next chapterof my life. As well as the
community that I shared with you viaFacebook, follow me on YouTube, and
follow me on Instagram. I appreciateall of you guys before we go,
(57:00):
I just like I said, whenit takes one time to say that this
journey I'm on definitely seems like apersonal one, but I know in my
heart that I am not the onlyone that is going through these next chapters
of our lives. So in thatI'm grateful that you allow me to share
(57:21):
my next chapters as you guys shareyour next chapters with me every day when
you see me in the street,or when you inbox me, or when
you DM me. The good jobthat I'm doing that you guys are all
doing by supporting this effort through publicaccess Television I appreciate all of you guys.
Don't forget to like, follow andshare. This is the next chapter
(57:46):
where we discuss shades of gray.I am your host, Minister Cat aka
Kitty Rose, and from all ofus here at Bronx Net Studios, at
our new home at Last Century outhere in the South Bronx. I welcome
you all to be safe and theystay focused, and I will see you
(58:10):
all next week. All right,guys, thank you all for being and
the gene looks and seventeen. SoI take the liberty to take on the
(58:32):
journey libertally. You do hallways andalleys dark days, I cady sharp pains
and valleys all days. To beheavy when your programs at a five,
not just that, be safe,to get the empty's and the jobs.
The city never sleeps. Slept fromone to five, but when COVID hit
the block and we had to stayaside to club, it's all our loves.
So be gentleup with myself
The views and opinions expressed in thisprogram are those of the participants and do
not reflect the views of the streamingplatforms, public access channels, the Kiddie
Rose Lifestyle, or the program underwriters. Simps from my feet, stopping out
(00:24):
the negativity. Everybody not in frontof the meat spread, the loves,
the lumb moves deliberately by face soon. But the smiley happen ly boodling
girls. So they love the energy. You love the seventeen. So I
take the liberty to take on ajourney liberally the ways and caddy Wow.
(00:49):
Good evening, everyone, Welcome backto the next chapter where we discuss shades
of gray. I'm your host,Minister cat Akaiti Rose, and welcome back
to our second show at our newhome here at Los Centreal at our Bronx
Studios located in the South Bronx.What did you guys think last week?
(01:11):
I know every time I saw theshow episode, I was excited and I
was impressed. So let's get rightinto what our topic of the week is
this week as we are making ourway again in our new home. So
this week's topic of a week,Topic of a week, Topic of a
Week, Okay, let's try thatagain. This is the week's topic of
(01:34):
the week. You guys are ready, Okay, it's a mouthful here.
It is as a parent? DidI do enough? As a parent?
Did I do enough? This wasvery sentimental to me. I don't know
if you guys have noticed that there'sbeen a trend these last couple of weeks
(01:57):
from talking about raising adult children totalking about life as an empty nester.
It got me to thinking, haveI done enough as a parent when it
came to laying the foundation to mychildren now as they're entering adulthood. You
(02:20):
know, I started to reflect onmy own childhood in the directions that I
led. And what really got mejust thinking about this was a few years
ago my daughter was wearing a crossthat she got from a friend of hers,
and it got me like in myhands was raised, like, oh
my goodness, what are you doingwalking around with the cross? Because my
(02:44):
belief, you know, from myperspective of Christianity, is that Jesus Christ,
Lord and Savior died on a stakeup and down during that time of
crucifications. They didn't kill people thisway, they kill them this way.
So according to the knowledge that I'maware of The cross is another idol that
(03:09):
gets used. This is a touchyof subject gets used to manipulate because no
one gives worship or reverence to across thinking that they're doing something wrong.
So I e. When my daughterwas given this gift, no way,
(03:30):
what everything I've taught her up untilthen, did she thinks she was doing
something wrong? Because in our referenceto Christ being our Lord and Savior,
that is our connection. And thennot only is that our connection, but
when it comes to I don't wantto say the Trinity, but the acknowledgment
(03:51):
of God, the Holy Spirit inChrist, those three points is sometimes what
we use as reference again, notunderstand the significance and the blur when it
comes to worship and what and howwe worship or give reverence. So in
this technical, technical explanation that Ithought I gave my children growing up,
(04:16):
I was bothered by her wearing across. But then the other part was
her acknowledgment and reverence to Christ.And that was something obviously that I helped
to instill that love for Christ.So that's important. So when I started
(04:40):
to reflect and think about my ownchildhood, I started to think about you
know, I was raised in avery interesting, strict household. Even though
I did some things and did somethings my mother didn't know about. They
were so far in between for themost part. You know, we went
to school, we had our aftercareprograms, and we came home. But
(05:05):
I was raised really what folks mightsay the church, I was really raised
in the Kingdom Hall. We hadfive meetings, three meetings a week,
and then in between our meetings wasstudy. And because my mother and father,
for the short time that I hadhim, was into academics. Between
(05:27):
my secular studies and my spiritual studies, it really didn't leave room for much.
I don't remember extracurricular activities after schooloutside of daycare. When we grew
out of that we came home.I don't remember my mother was active with
(05:48):
us growing up. But my motherwas active more with the things that she
wanted to do, like play paddiballand take us to the park. But
do I remember picnics? Do Iremember throwing the ball at Central Park?
I don't have those types of memories. I have a very rigid memory up
(06:12):
until the age of fifteen of school, family, Kingdom Hall, preaching.
And I say all that to saythat I am grateful that I had a
foundation of Christianity, of Christ ofJehovah in my life, but it didn't
(06:35):
stop anything else. I still wandered. I still, I still what's that
of shoplift? When I was likeeleven down South, I stole from someone
(06:57):
I committed for unication at the ageof fourteen fifteen, I actively started having
sex. At the age of eighteen, I tried I never tried drugs.
I've done some illegal activity along inmy life, So all that strict upbringing
(07:24):
didn't deter me from anything. Itmight have protected me on some level,
but I still I don't know actedout if that's even what I did.
So when I started to do theresearch thinking about my own childhood versus the
(07:46):
childhood that I've given my children,it was Google the Bible of Information was
stating that it could be very painfulto realize that the child that you have
worked so hard to raise is notliving up to their potential. Even more
(08:07):
heartbreaking is the realization that you maynot have had a very good relationship with
them. Sometimes these issues can makeyou feel like you have failed. As
parents, we tend to think thatif anything goes wrong with our kids.
It's our fault. Not only dowe have the pressure that we put on
(08:30):
ourselves, we may also have wellmeaning family members and the rest of society
sending us those same blaming messages.But it's more likely that you did the
very best that you knew how todo at each junction of your child's life.
(08:50):
Some things may have been more effectiveand some less effective, but you
did your best, and I wouldhave I have to say, for the
most I can agree with that becausewhen I now hindsight visually look at my
twenty year old, my twenty fiveyear old, and my twenty eight year
(09:11):
old, I'm noticing, well,what kind of people have they become?
So is there room for blame?I don't know. Let's discuss by going
into our first video, which isthe four most important choices you can make
as a parent from Crystal pain fromWell, Crystal Praine is not it's not
(09:31):
her, she's speaking on focus onthe family. You guys can check that
out more by going to like Isaid, the four most important choices you
can make as a parent. Let'scheck it out. It wasn't doing enough.
I was constantly going to bed,psychoanalyzing and second guessing myself. I
should have done that. Why didI do that? Why did I respond
(09:52):
like that? And I felt thisweight on me that it was never enough
and that everyone else was doing itso much better than me, and I
was just constantly failing my kids andwas also that weight of my reputation.
I cared so much what other peoplethought of me as a parent, and
it just was constant exhaustion and stress. There was a moment where this kind
(10:18):
of became the moment of awareness.I think you were dropping one of your
children off at school and something wentdown that got your attention. What happened?
Yes, So it was about fouryears ago and our kids were going
to this little Christian school and myhusband was dropping the three of them off,
and the principal met him and saidI need to meet with you and
your wife and one of a specificchild after school. And he came home
(10:43):
and he told me this, andhe's like, this is not good.
We just both felt like we don'tknow what this is about, but something
really bad is about to go down. And we were just kind of trying
to think through everything that had happenedthe last week, and we couldn't come
up with what could this be andthe principle tells us that our child had
done something that had broken the school'scode of conduct and was very serious and
(11:07):
that swift action needed to be taken. And we were just really blindsided by
the whole thing because it had justhappened the day before. We thought everything
was fine, like we had neverthe day before. It was just a
normal day, and our child hadreally hidden this from us, and then
wasn't even willing to in the principal'soffice admit that they had done that,
And it took a long time forour child to actually say, no,
(11:30):
I did I did that. Andso then we spent the next few weeks
really meeting with families and unpacking andtrying to figure out, you know,
what is going on? How didwe miss this, and finding out that
there was so much more than justthis one incident, And that's really hard
as a parent to feel like you'vecompletely missed something that your child was really
(11:50):
struggling with and had been struggling withfor months. In fact, we found
out that a lot of the otherparents had been talking, a lot of
them had gone to the principal,and then they had even labeled our child
a bully and we were clueless.Hm. How many of you felt what
(12:11):
she said? Let's recap. Shetalked about feelings of never feeling enough.
She talked about feelings of thinking aboutyour reputation more than maybe what's actually going
on at home, not knowing thinkingwe know everything. I who I felt
(12:33):
that one even when you're an involvedparent, she wasn't a parent one two
parent household. She wasn't a parentthat wasn't questioning or being aware of what
she thought was going on in herhousehold. But after further I don't know.
(12:54):
I won't even say investigation, justmore conversation where the child admitted eventually,
yes, I'm actively involved in X, Y and Z. What now
becomes difficult is facing those issues upfront that one you might have missed something,
or two, okay you caught something, you didn't miss it. Now
(13:16):
we can deal with it. Butcan we move away from the embarrassment of
having to deal with it. Iknow as a parent, I definitely have
had situations where I thought I knewwhat was going on too, in particular
so growing up my middle son.You know, and this is another reason
why this is a sensitive topic,because my children have asked not to be
(13:43):
used anymore when it comes to discussingtopics that face us as that face us
as a society. But I can'thelp but use my own testimony of growth
in a way awareness and understanding byshowing you or telling you the examples that
(14:05):
directly happened to me that unfortunately involvesthem. So I apologize to my children
right now for being this vulnerable bysharing the following stories. I'm getting ready
to sh I'm getting ready to share, but I'm hoping what's that thing you
know asks for forgiveness later, thatyou will forgive me after hopefully the information
(14:31):
I shared shared some impact of otherparents who have felt this way or or
who are feeling this way in theactual moment. So I remember when my
middle son was in the f uhhis freshman year in high school. And
you know, freshman here in highschool is is challenging and exciting because they're
(14:52):
no longer like these little people anymore. You know, middle school is preparing
them now for this middle phase ofyoung adulthood. So you know, at
this point he was doing softball,but now that he's in high school,
that no longer was happening. Sowe hadn't put him in a program yet
and he got caught after school oneday smoking weed. Now, when we
(15:16):
found out that he was smoking weed, right away we were like, Okay,
he has too much time on hishands after school. Let's do something
other than having him have this freetime. So collectively we decided to put
him in wrestling. So now he'smore of an athlete because he did softball,
now he's doing wrestling. Those issuesare now off the table because now
(15:39):
he's actively involved in something that hehas to stay health conscious about. So
we were able to become aware ofsomething even though we didn't know or even
would have never assumed that our child, our perfect child, would partaken.
But once finding out that he wasinvolved in something, instead of feeling ashamed,
(16:03):
oh my god, or in denial, no, not our son,
we found a solution and took careof it. Let's go to a break.
(16:33):
So that was one situation, andI said, I had a second
one for you. But I thinkthat that was the issue that I wanted
to really like bring to home isthat sometimes, we, like I said,
could really think that we're are theseinvolved parents. Oh I know what
I wanted to say to you guys. So yeah, we could think that
you're in this involved parent, andfor the most part you can be.
(16:56):
But also I found out later onon years later, you know, when
we're having current family gatherings. Rightagain, my children are twenty twenty five
and twenty eight. So when now, you know, whenever we have family
gatherings, we sit around the kitchentable as most families do, and we
(17:19):
you know, talk about we reminisceon old times, and these kids of
mine will talk about all of thesestories of things that they did that I
had no idea about, things thatthey did to their sister, videos that
they made on YouTube, things thatthey did. You know, my son
(17:40):
says to me, My oldest sonsays to me the other day, Yeah,
you know, I'm not the problem. You know, I've I'm not
gonna tell you what that situation was. But the point that I'm making is
that you could be thinking that you'resuch an involved you know everything, you
know what time they're here, youknow what time they're they're You got this
schedule they have to check in here, you have the find my the finder
(18:07):
on your phone, tracking like allthese things, and you can still miss
something. So now, what isthe point. The point is I recently
heard, oh you'll see in oneof the videos coming up, that we're
not raising children, we're raising adults. And we started out saying that it
(18:30):
becomes painful to realize that the workthat you put in with them as children
may not pan out as adults.So when I think about my childhood and
now my result as an adult,my results as an adult one hundred and
ten comes from the foundation that wasgiven to me as a child. So
(18:56):
even though I might have went differentdirections in life, I always still had
a sense of what that foundation wasin my servants, in my gratitude,
in my reverence to the creator,and that held me, that covered me,
that protected me from not going allthe way left. I committed a
(19:19):
few a fruit. I can't evensay that I committed I committed a few
crimes instead of more crimes and becominga criminal. You know what I'm saying,
Not that becoming a criminal is anyless than because I only committed three
or four. But the point thatI'm making is that I could have done
a whole lot more. But Iwant to show you guys the research in
(19:45):
my second video, because the secondvideo comes into the overall idea of what
it is that we want when itcomes to wearing our adults. Because the
name of this video is how toraise these successful kids without over parenting.
Let's go I'm gonna break this upin two points. Let's go to the
(20:07):
first one, parents who aren't involvedenough in the lives of their kids and
their education or their upbringing, andrightly so. But at the other end
of the spectrum, there's a lotof harm going on there as well,
where parents feel a kid can't besuccessful unless the parent is protecting and preventing
at every turn, and hovering overevery happening and micromanaging every moment and steering
(20:32):
their kid towards some small subset ofcolleges and careers. When we raise kids
this way, and I'll say we, because Lord knows, and raising my
two teenagers, I've had these tendenciesmyself, our kids end up leading a
kind of checklisted childhood. And here'swhat the checklisted childhood looks like. We
(20:55):
keep them safe and sound and fedand watered, and then we want to
be sure they go to the rightschools, but not just that that they're
in the right classes at the rightschools, and if they get the right
grades and the right classes and theright schools. But not just the grades
the scores, and not just thegrades of scores, but the accolades and
the awards, and the sports andthe activities and the leadership. We tell
(21:15):
our kids don't just join a club, start a club because colleges want to
see that and check the box forcommunity service. I mean, show the
colleges you care about others. Didyou hear yourself? Did you see yourself?
How many of us saw ourselves inthat description as this helicopter or over
(21:37):
confensating or over parmenting or micro managingyour child's life. Woof, I know
I saw myself. I think wecreate this picture perfect checklist and we put
this pressure on our children, andthen we put this pressure on ourselves.
(21:59):
But how successful do we become.Let's go to the second half of the
video, childhood providing a foundation fortheir success built on things like love and
chores. Did I just say yours? Did I just say yours? I
(22:22):
really did? But really, here'swhy. The longest longitudinal study of humans
ever conducted, it's called the HarvardGrant Study. It found that professional success
in life, which is what wewant for our kids, That professional success
in life comes from having done choresas a kid, and the earlier you
(22:44):
started, the better. That willroll up your sleeves and pitch in mindset,
a mindset that says, there's someunpleasant work. Someone's got to do
it, it might as well beme. A mindset that says, I
will contribute my effort to the bettermentof the whole. That that's what gets
you ahead in the workplace. Nowwe all know this. You know this,
(23:04):
We all know this. And yetin the checklisted childhood, we absolve
our kids of doing the work ofchores around the house, and then they
end up as young adults in theworkplace, still waiting for a checklist,
but it doesn't exist, and moreimportantly, lacking the impulse, the instinct
to roll up their sleeves and pitchin and look around and wonder, how
(23:26):
can I be useful to my colleagues? How can I anticipate a few steps
ahead to what my boss might need. A second, very important finding from
the Harvard Grant study said that happinessin life comes from love, not love
of work. Love of humans,our spouse, our partner, our friends,
(23:49):
our family. So childhood needs toteach our kids how to love,
and they can't love others if theydon't first love themselves, and they won't
love themselves if we can't offer themunconditional love. Yes, I agree,
I agree, I agree, Iagree. That was Julie Lifcock Haynes,
(24:15):
and that was one of her techtalks that she was doing again how to
raise successful kids without overparenting. WhatI enjoyed about this video was giving our
children the foundation right because we're raisingadults so preparing them for chores, so
we have this image of what wewant to prepare them for, right,
(24:40):
So we have like the Catch twentytwo, we have we're teaching our children's
almost this entitlement that all you gottado is work hard, or you gotta
do is study. All you gottado is work hard, or you gotta
do is study. All you gottado is work hard, or you gotta
do is study, and everything youwant will come to you. But we
forget about the other little things sometimes, like responsibility, i e. Chores
(25:10):
giving them a sense of responsibility,giving them a sense of routine, giving
them a sense of pulling up yoursleeve and working as a unit in a
household that just is not just aboutthem and even if it is just about
them having the tendencies now to beresponsible for themselves in this household that they
will eventually live in alone. Howare we teaching them to contribute or are
(25:38):
we teaching them to lack the impulseon how to be more useful because we've
taught them to be self centered.So now again my own reflection, when
I thought about as a parent,have I done enough? Because my daughter
had a cross on. But nowwhen I have a conversation with her and
(26:00):
I hear how enlightened she is,especially in this particular point in her life
where she's finishing up her last yearin college and her brothers are encouraging her
that you're working too hard. Youshould just enjoy, you should party,
you, should you do this,And she's very tunnel vision and very focused
of no, this is why I'mgonna do and how I'm gonna do it,
(26:21):
and why I'm gonna do it,but very clear at twenty when I
have conversations with my son at twentyfive and he talks about, yes,
you know, last year in educationwas challenging for him, so he thought
he might wanna change the finance becausehe is a mathematician, he's good with
numbers, and you know, ina world where we're driven more by money,
I can make more in finance,but he decided that's not what I
(26:45):
want. I I wanna serve mycommunity. I want to be a principal.
So you know what, I'm gonnacome back to education and I'll put
two or three years in that andset on my way to being a principal
so that I can serve my communityin that way. Service at twenty five,
(27:07):
twenty year old focus to her,her ending, her beginning, her
middle, what she wants, howher plan after school, what she's doing
now, how she wants to doit, why she wants to do it.
Very she told me the other day. She was like, you know,
I'm very money driven, and I'mokay with that, but again being
(27:27):
okay with where she's at in life, because she was like, because I
like the finer things. I likethis, that and the third. So
I'm gonna work in a career thatallows me to do X, Y and
Z. I am not interested inpartying. I'm not interested in doing that,
you know what, Huh. Ilike my life at twenty and then
(27:48):
we have my twenty eight year oldwho is approaching thirty, still trying to
find himself. But what I likeabout my oldest, what I'm encouraged about
my oldest, is that in thefinding yourself, I work hard. I
go to work every day. I'mdedicated, I'm a good worker, I'm
(28:12):
trustworthy. So whatever the situation heends up in, it's always a progressive
one because he is good at whathe does, because he follows through,
and he innately is a good personwith responsibility. Let's take a break in
fact, could be you could beme, just one walcome all in my
(28:41):
shoes, walk all. You know, you don't have to wear your pet
gear anymore. Right, It's comfortable, how civilian like treating you. When
I got out, I didn't wantto admit that there was anything wrong because
I felt like a failure. Andthen I realized, like there's nothing to
(29:03):
be ashamed of. So I startedtalking to someone. Maybe you're fine.
If you're not, it's okay,thank you. If you are a veteran
you know needs support, don't wait, reach out find resources at VA dot
gov slash reach. And I hadto realize, you know, about my
(29:23):
children, how important chores actually was, and chores are especially you know when
both my youngest children was going tocollege, because that's really you know,
the time that they're now on theirown learning the skills that you've given them
prior to going to college. Andeven my oldest boy when he moved on
(29:45):
his own, and what my daughternoticed and my son was that he lived
with roommates that didn't know how todo their laundry. And we laugh all
the time we see this on televisionas a joke that when kids bring their
launch home or when you know,kids say, oh, I don't know
how to you know, wash betweenmy whites and my colors. We ha
(30:06):
ha ha, we laugh. Butthat's a serious situation, you know.
I remember growing up my grandmother andmy aunt used to always get on my
aunt about how she took care ofherself doing you know, the times we
as women are changing through our seasonsand not being just throw it away or
just you know, so you know, not mindful of how we clean ourselves
(30:32):
doing this different times of the yearor excuse me, different times of the
month, and you would realize thatyou think that your parents are netpicking you
until you actually get to see incollege or living on your own with roommates
that while learning responsibility actually was helpful, was useful where you saw that for
(30:55):
others that you would live with thatdid not get that upbringing because they were
in a situation where that entitlement waspresent. Because sometimes parents, you know,
we're trying to do things different thanthe way our parents didn't. We're
trying to have less restrictions. We'retrying to you know, not be their
friend, but not necessarily be likethis, you know, this dictator over
(31:19):
them the way that our parents weretrying to you know, be lighter and
being lighter and being more encouraging.You can do it. The world is
yours. That's where that catch twentytwo of entitlement comes in, where when
they get to a certain age wherethey don't know how to do something or
they don't want to do something,they're like, well, i'll just hire
someone, or I'll just bring ithome to my mother, or I'll just
(31:41):
you know, have my mom doit, and we end up paying the
course and they end up paying thecourse. Does that make sense? So
this last video kind of wraps upwhat I was thinking or how I was
learning to adapt or even be okaywith what I've done up until now,
(32:07):
because parenting has not stopped. Butwhat up until now I've done as a
parent so far. This last videois Michelle Obama and she is talking about
parenting partnerships and turning your rage intochange. Check it out. But you
still have to be ready for yourkids to evolve. You know, who
(32:30):
they are at four and seven isnot and what they need from you is
very different from what they need fromyou as teenagers and then again as young
women. But if you've laid afoundation of trust and honesty, every stage
I found is wonderful. It's full, it's exciting. I don't miss any
(32:52):
stage. I loved every stage ofparenting my girls, but I wouldn't go
back to any of the stages.Don't long for the time when they were
babies. I love that time breastfeedingwhen you you know, you could sit
and hold them and look at themforever. But now that they're young women,
you know, and now I'm lessof a day to day manager and
(33:15):
more of an advisor. There's athere's a freedom to enjoy them as individuals,
to watch them grow. And Ithink that's been the case for me
and my mom as well with yourgirls, that it's not been comfortable for
you the idea of stepping back fromthat manager role and letting them leave,
letting them be the people who makeyou and your husband, as you say,
(33:35):
weak martinis when you come and visita fair apartment that I couldn't stop
laughing when I read that. Youknow what, that's that it is a
hard thing to do to let yourkids be, you know, in this
era of helicopter parenting, you know, where I think parents are very maybe
overly involved in their kids' lives.I was raised to be handed my competence
(34:00):
early. You know, my motherraised her. As I write in the
book, she says her job isto put herself out of a job early.
So she started at a very earlyage requiring us to be independent.
You know, as early as kindergarten. She gave us alarm clocks because she
(34:21):
knew that we were capable of gettingourselves up. She wanted us to feel
the power of our competence. Sofrom five years old I was setting an
alarm. Soon thereafter I was walkingto school by myself. And what that
does for a kid when your parentstrust you, you know, it encourages
(34:43):
you. It tells you that ifmy mom thinks I can do this,
then I must be capable. AndI've tried to instill that same kind of
stand by the gate and watch yourkids fly, be there for them when
they come back, let them knowthat you will be their advocate, but
don't step in and try to livetheir lives for them. And so when
(35:05):
I see my kids flourishing in thatway, when I see them owning all
their choices and succeeding and failing ontheir own terms and growing from that process,
it is one of the most satisfyingexperiences. It is frightening. It
is frightening to watch your children walkinto a brick wall, but that's what
(35:27):
growth is. And you know,and too many parents try to stop that
process, but that's the quickest wayfor them to learn, to learn from
owning their mistakes and owning their victoriesat the same time. Don't we just
love Michelle. She's always going tobe our first lady. She is just
(35:49):
I think what happens. What Ilove about Michelle is there there's like a
calmness in her delivery, and that'swhat helps us when it comes to messaging.
You know, we all can saythe same stuff, but I'll delivery
our tone in which we deliver.The message is how it carries through to
the person who's listening. So,oh, thank you, Michelle. What
(36:12):
did you think about the wisdom thatshe gave. I know that I was
encouraged. I don't necessarily agree witheverything that her mother did with her and
her brother growing up. I rememberthe first time, at I think at
eleven, I let Isaiah go toschool by hisself on the train. Oh
my goodness, no, not evenon the train. I had put him
in a cab and thought I lostmy child. It was it was not.
(36:37):
I don't know we can recommend thathere in these New York City streets.
However, I do understand the response, the response or the meaning she
meant about responsibility and giving them asense of responsibility at a young age.
And I think that that is whatis one of the goals we have as
(36:57):
parents when raising children, huh,when raising adults, is that we want
to be able to teach them notonly the fundamentals for them to be good
people, but for the fundamentals forthem to be able to be progressive and
learn and make mistakes on their own. When she said that she likes this
age or this stage right now,I had to think about that. I
(37:21):
definitely miss certain stages in life,but I don't know if I would want
to go back to any of thosestages. I know teenagehood was very difficult
for me and my firstborn, whichmade it difficult for the other two even
though we all made it through.I think that we're in such a great
place now, definitely because of thehardship along the way, but also the
(37:43):
blessings that we learned through those hardshape in regards to understanding and patience.
You know. I love how shesays that now she's an advisor and the
freedom that comes with watching and enjoyingher children be adults and stepping back and
(38:06):
letting her kids be, not beingthis helicopter parent. Or remember we discussed
that a few weeks back when Cornelwas with us, about possibly putting the
phone on mute so that sometimes wecould just hold back, even from input,
just being a listening or sounding boardto our adult children. I want
to go into this further, butbefore we do, let's go to a
break. Adding your own flavor tofashion comes with age, Okay, Dad,
(38:37):
look at you forgetting how to add? Doesn't finding it difficult to work
with numbers? May be a signof Alzheimer's. An early diagnosis can help
improve the quality of life for yourluck one learn the warning signs of Alzheimer's.
Some things come with age, someothers don't. I tell my son
(39:00):
I love you every single day.I love you. Now, my dad
has never said that to me,not because he doesn't love me, but
because culturally it was uncomfortable for him. Now that he's a grandfather, he
says I love you to my sonevery time he sees him. My advice
to all the fathers out there,forget the cultural restrictions. They grow up
(39:22):
way too fast for you to wasteeven a single precious moment. So when
I think about the different stages again, yes, I am grateful for the
different stages that we were able toget through. And I do like the
stage that I'm in right now,the certain things and the certain kinds of
conversations that I now have with mytwenty year old daughter that I'm looking forward
(39:45):
to us getting to as she becomesolder, The conversations I have with both
my sons at the age at thatend, when we talk about life.
I'm enjoying watching them become a I'menjoying watching them be adults, because,
like Quinnell said, when they areready, they will come back. And
(40:09):
I realize that that is true.Even at the age that they're at now
they call me, they check onme, they still lacks for advice.
So this position right now of notbeing the everyday parent, but the advisory
position, the fact that I'm there, I think it is a little credit
(40:30):
to me being somewhat of a goodparent. I did something right because they
call now, they acts now foradvice, for love, for comfort,
for grace, for encouragement, justto say hi. I remember last week
(40:50):
we said there was a video thatI showed that the guy said, if
your kids call you back, that'sa level of success. So when I
think about my life right now withmy children, even with the heartaches we
had, which were were they heartachesor were they just life experiences that I've
(41:12):
had as an adult, that I'vehad as a person, and now I've
had as a person who happens tobe an adult raising or excuse me,
who happens to be a parent raisingthree other people, and in that parenting
raising three other people. Remember,again, I wasn't by myself. I
was a divorced parent, but Ico parent all the way up until even
(41:35):
now, so that it's also abenefit in sometimes a catch twenty two because
sometimes we all think that co parentingthat's the best, that's the greatest,
and I think, for the mostpart, ideally it is. But when
you have two different households, oreven two different ways of believing or feeling
(41:58):
about things, even within the samehousehold, I'm gonna tell you a secret.
I know a couple of parents whowish they were single parents. I
know a couple of parents that oncethere one of their parents made the transition
that they had a level of easewhen it came to now raising their adult
(42:23):
children, because sometimes that can actuallybe was difficult when it comes to raising
our children the other parent. Sowhen you can get through the other parent
in the same household or a separatehousehold, and look at again the end
result, or maybe not the endresult, or the one of the ending
(42:47):
results of the next stage of anotherstage that they're going to complete, because
we've done our job in the foundationof their adolescent years. My mother did
her job for my adolescent years.Since I was out of my household at
the age of fifteen, the restof my life was on me. Yes,
(43:13):
I had a year with my grandmother. Yes, I had a village
of angels, elders, shepherds aroundme growing up that helped, instructed me,
helped guide me, help encourage mealong the way. Because I think,
you know, it's funny. Ithink when God knows that you missing
in one area, he fills thatvoid in others. So I think because
(43:35):
I did not have that parent toadvice for the rest of my life from
either one of my parents, hegave me these angels along the way as
my guides, as these parental figuresalong the way in my life, which
again made me do differently when itcame to the raising of my children.
(43:57):
And I think that even though myfoundation i'm grateful for, I'm grateful for
those fifteen years of strict not sostrict, being aware, not being aware,
not having me involved in X,Y and Z, whatever was done
for the best of her ability,for what she knew at the time,
(44:17):
for what she was given. I'mgrateful because even if what it did was
teach me the opposite, it stillgave me a different perspective when raising my
children. Now, what is mymother's or my parents and result to their
children one out of three ain't bad. No, my brother's are decent people
(44:43):
as well, and that was withoutthe helicopter parents. But again we still
have somewhat of a foundation that wasgiven us. Me and my brothers are
only three years apart. My meand my middle brother are a year apart.
Me and my younger brother are threeyears apart. So whatever foundation I
(45:04):
was given, they was given becausewe were right there and there. And
when I left the house at fifteen, they left the house of maybe two
or three years, two years reallysoon after that. So again for the
majority of that small pocket of life, the foundation that they were given,
the foundation I was given, theywas given. And I believe even with
(45:27):
the things that they went through inlife that their foundation still kept them covered
to the adults that they are now. So in the way that I'm raising
my children, or the way thatI'm raising my adults, when I look
back, and here is our Jesusmoment, let's bring it, oh,
our Jesus moment, when I thinkabout as a whole, the Jesus moment.
(45:52):
It took me to Ephesians. Excuseme, not Ephesians. It took
me to Deuteronomy. It took meto Douteronomy six Versus six through nine,
and I'm gonna paraphrase that these commandmentsthat I give you today are to beat
on your hearts, impress them onyour children, talk about them when you
(46:14):
sit at home, and when youwalk along the road, when you lay
down, and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands,
and bind them on your foreheads.Write them on the doorframes of your
house and on your gates. Andwhere I thought I failed was because I
didn't take my kids to the KingdomHall every week, because I didn't take
(46:35):
my kids to church every week.Because I allowed my children to partake in
Christmas and Thanksgiving, and that's prettymuch it, you know, that they
do with their father and that theydo with me. So I felt that
because I lacked in those things,that I didn't do enough, that I
didn't give them enough spiritually because Ididn't give them the routine and the redgie
(47:00):
that I had growing up. Butthe routine and the regiment I had growing
up didn't guarantee anything for me.So the routine and regiment that I did
not give my children still allowed themto be good and wholesome people. Because
I spoke about the love of God, the love of Jehovah. All day,
(47:24):
every day, I talked about beingrighteous. I talked about the sacrifice
that Christ made in giving up hislife and what that gave us, and
the hope of the resurrection and livingin paradise. I talked to them and
I share scriptures with them, andI gave them opportunity to make the choice
(47:44):
of Bible study. After each oneof them went through their rights of passage,
which is also a spiritual pilrigage.My daughter decided to get baptized.
My daughter decided to have the Jehovah, and this is coming to our home
and study the Bible. Now theymight not be diligent in that today at
(48:06):
twenty twenty three, But the beautyis of my explore, my exploration in
the scriptures, my exploration in connectingcloser to Jehovah God happened over a course
of time, happened over a courseof years. I might have become closer
to serving Jehovah now in my life. I remember in the movie Ali right
(48:29):
Will Smith is depicting Ali, andthere's a scene in the movie where Ali
is in Africa and he has thiswoman that he's talking to and he says
that Islam found him too young becausehe had a problem, you know,
being faithful to his wife, becausehe was attracted to women. But he
(48:49):
was a faithful, spiritual man whostill you know, wasn't ready for the
dedication. So you know, I'mgrateful that on their own they go to
look and understand the scriptures and theirrelationship with the Creator. Let's take a
break. You know, how youfeel on the inside is just as important
(49:10):
to me as how you feel onthe outside. Grown up. I know
you are grown up and you areokay. We're not okay. I'll take
(49:32):
care of you. Oh God,you've done the hard part. You quit
smoking. Now do the easy partand get scanned for lung cancer. If
(49:57):
you smoked, you may still beat risk, but early detection could save
your life. Talk to your doctorand learn more at Savedbythscan dot org.
Hey everyone, before we go toour next segment, I just wanted to
finish one thought in the Jesus momentthat I wanted you to really get at
(50:19):
home again since I was a regularroutine in life talking about God in our
house when I talked about is thatjust enough? Sometimes folks think that it's
not. But teaching your children howto love God is a whole life process.
Don't just regulate it to family Biblestudy or church on Sunday mornings.
Parenting your kids to know and loveJesus is something you never stop doing.
(50:44):
So that is my goal, andthat is my hope as a parent,
that I never stop teaching and showingthe impact of what Christ and serving Jehovah
God is in your life, andhoping that leading by example is ultimately what
gives my children successful lives as andon't all right, guys, here it
is you're ready for our fifth installmentof Did you Know? Did you Know?
(51:07):
I'm really enjoying this segment and thisparticular topic was it's a part two
off of Know Your Rights? Becauseto Know Your Rights got so much hits
and reshares on TikTok that I feltlike this was a subject that we needed
to come back to. But Iwanted to talk about our constitutional rights.
(51:29):
And the reason why I wanted todiscuss what our constitutional rights are is because
when I google what the amendments were, right, it had ten amendments,
but there were still more fourteen fifteen, sixteen seventeen much much more than their
initial ten. And when I google, how much of us know what our
(51:53):
rights are? Or what of theamendments that we don't know? It said
that poor knowledge of the first it'sthe Amendment rights. Less than half forty
percent of people name freedom of religion. Excuse me? What was lacking that
people didn't know about their first ortheir constitutional rights? And it mentioned it
(52:15):
was poor knowledge of the First Amendmentrights. Less than half forty percent named
freedom of religion, a third thirtythree percent name the right to assembly,
and just over a quarter twenty eightpercent name freedom of press, and less
than one in ten nine percent newthe right to petition the government. So
(52:39):
even though we have ten listed asprime, there are so much more that
we should really take the time togoogle, take the time to go to
the library, take the time toresearch to see how they impact our day
to day life. So I'm justgonna kind of briefly go through ten of
them. First amendment being Congress shallmake no law respecting an establishment of religion
(53:06):
or prohibiting the free exercise thereof freedomof speech, the press, or the
right of people to peacefully assemble.And the petition the Government for a rareness
of grievousness. So we kind ofall know that one that we have the
right of free speech, except foryelling fire in a movie theater. Our
(53:27):
second Amendment is the right of peopleto keep and bear arms. Now some
people think that we don't have thisin certain states, but that actually is
not correct. So we can allhave guns if we go through the legal
proper ways of having them. Thethird Amendment, no soldier in a time
of peace be quartered in anyone's housewithout the consent of the owner. Fourth
(53:50):
Amendment the right of people to besecure. Let me say this again.
Fourth Amendment is the right of thepeople to be secure in persons houses,
papers, and effects against unreasonable searchesand siezures. Pretty much, you need
a warrant. We talked about thatalso with Know Your Rights. The Fifth
Amendment protects against self incrimination. Thesixth Amendment. In criminal prosecutions, the
(54:19):
cue shall enjoy the right to aspeedy trial. The seventh Amendment protects the
child. The trial protects trial byjewelry for the The amendment objective was to
preserve a distinction between the responsibilities ofthe court deciding matters of law and the
(54:39):
jury such as deciding matters of fact. That's the seventh Amendment. The eighth
excessive bail shall not be required.Ninth and this is hyphenated explanations. Do
your research and go for yourself tofind out how these amendments affect your day
to day life. Ninth Amendment.The existence of the written constitutions should not
(55:05):
be treated or an excuse for notstill extending someone's human rights. The government
can't take away the rights of theAmerican people that are not specifically listed in
the US Constitution. And the tenthAmendment allows the powers not specifically given to
the federal government to be given tothe states and the people of the States.
(55:30):
It allows for the states to createspecific guidelines and regulations separate from the
federal government. Now, if you'renot understanding all the details to those explanations,
again, I advise you to goand do the research for yourself.
Find out why these rights are importantfor you to know again in your day
(55:53):
to day living here in the UnitedStates of America. So that's it,
everyone, We finished another episode ofour show. Whoo. That was awesome.
I had a good time. Thisis the part of the show that
I need all of you to youknow, do what what do I need
(56:15):
you guys to do? You know, follow like and share, follow like
and share. And on that note, I appreciate you go to the Facebook
group page to see the behind scenes, ask your inbox questions, see what
(56:36):
we're discussed when we are, youknow, setting up our shots to bring
you our weekly program, and justoverall kind of just to peep and see
what's going on in the next chapterof my life. As well as the
community that I shared with you viaFacebook, follow me on YouTube, and
follow me on Instagram. I appreciateall of you guys before we go,
(57:00):
I just like I said, whenit takes one time to say that this
journey I'm on definitely seems like apersonal one, but I know in my
heart that I am not the onlyone that is going through these next chapters
of our lives. So in thatI'm grateful that you allow me to share
(57:21):
my next chapters as you guys shareyour next chapters with me every day when
you see me in the street,or when you inbox me, or when
you DM me. The good jobthat I'm doing that you guys are all
doing by supporting this effort through publicaccess Television I appreciate all of you guys.
Don't forget to like, follow andshare. This is the next chapter
(57:46):
where we discuss shades of gray.I am your host, Minister Cat aka
Kitty Rose, and from all ofus here at Bronx Net Studios, at
our new home at Last Century outhere in the South Bronx. I welcome
you all to be safe and theystay focused, and I will see you
(58:10):
all next week. All right,guys, thank you all for being and
the gene looks and seventeen. SoI take the liberty to take on the
(58:32):
journey libertally. You do hallways andalleys dark days, I cady sharp pains
and valleys all days. To beheavy when your programs at a five,
not just that, be safe,to get the empty's and the jobs.
The city never sleeps. Slept fromone to five, but when COVID hit
the block and we had to stayaside to club, it's all our loves.
So be gentleup with myself
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