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July 5, 2022 • 67 mins
Our merry band seeks out the crimescene of the murder of of Exinidor Alfiron and they quickly find themselves in over their heads. They gain a few friends, get some new tricks to keep up their sleeves, and stumble into an ever-expanding conspiracy.

The Night Shift is an actual-play, homebrew D&D Podcast and Youtube series that features the ridiculous antics of Jay Ducote, T-Bob Hebert, Lindsey Duga, and Chuck Pierce playing Dungeons and Dragons version 5e.


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Content Warning: This episode contains harsh language, violence, and touches on topics like genocide, abuse, and torture.

Links: https://linktr.ee/TheNightShiftRPG
Music by: Jay Parker

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
The Night Shift is a real playD and D video and podcast series for
mature audiences. Content warnings can befound in the episode descriptions Last Time on
the Night Shift. If you're upto it, the next step is to

(00:20):
well, is it the crime scene? Yes? Yeah, I can't scream
together gold My soul's already sold.Swim you trapped, tod smell. I

(00:44):
wish you well, and if thecreature run your streets, you do better
to retreat. If you want itdone right, don't hi the night Shift.
Polaritis finally opens the door. You'vebeen walking through the halls of the

(01:11):
Serian Archive, this massive library,for it seems like a long time,
just because there are so many twistsand turns and staircases. You've had to
stop every fifty feet or so sothat Polaritis can explain why he's taking you
to the place that he's taking you. There are lots of people standing around

(01:36):
looking serious. No one unlike aprevious times you've been here when people have
been studying. Everyone is kind ofstanding around looking upset. Even though this
is days after his murder. Thissort of thing doesn't happen. Head Archivist

(01:57):
doesn't just murdered in his own office. It's unheard of. People are shook
and it's kind of dripping off them. Finally, Polaritis swings open the large
oaken door to Excenator All Firons whatused to be Excenator All Firon's office,
And the first thing I think thathits you is an iron smell of blood.

(02:25):
It's still speckled all over the wallsand dripping all over the floors.
His body is gone, but thatcertainly remains so if it was his office,
who moved into it? No oneas of yet, Okay, and
you can tell that like it.It's very much been left in its current
state. They've got fantasy crime tapeacross the U. Yeah, it's very

(02:53):
obvious. No one's no one's usingit right now. It is left in
its current state. Plartius um,So how does this work? Now that
Senator's gone? Who? Um?Who becomes a head archivist? There will
be an election of majors um.Several people will probably put their hats into

(03:13):
the running. Do we have alist of those people? Because that's our
suspect. It would seem that wouldbe as good a place in any start.
But it was my idea, nonchestrals. To be clear, I
kind of opened the door for it. Okay, yes, um, I
can. It's your list of whothey presumed to be front runners. I'm
certainly one of them. Interesting realwhy would you be considered one among them?

(03:38):
I was a senator off fire ringsassistant for the better part of three
decades. I learned at his feet. And you wanted to step out of
his shadow, didn't you? No, you wanted a taste of the limeline.
No, okay, somebody had werenot. He did give us the

(04:04):
benefit of the very risk of heartvibes on. I see we are back
to being investigators, sort of smarts. There is blood all over this room.
Can I just get just you know, a little serious? Okay,
I know that you're sort of funthing though, Okay, you know what,

(04:28):
just do it your way, You'reright, Okay. Well, Kestril
starts walking around the office, um, stroking her chin, and I'm gonna
like, look at Kestrol. ThenI'm gonna start. Then we all kind
we all grow we're thinking, we'rethinking, yeah, absolutely, um,

(04:57):
but I did it first, justsaying there seems to be a lot of
blood in here, very very stuteobservation this is rubbing his head. Already
similar motion is rubbing in your chin, but with much more frustration. Is
there is there somebody there that Ican ask to go fetch us some coffee
or something. I was warned aboutthese guys all seriousness. I would like

(05:26):
to roll. I will arrange forcoffee, this whole coffee. We do
need to sit down after you're done. There were some things that left you.
Oh, but i'd like you todo your investigation for us, for
us will for you? Yes,wow, I can't believe you remembered us.

(05:46):
He left it for us. Whyare we the first suspect. There's
a good question. I was kindof wondering the same thing. But I
would assume I can maybe answer thatI haven't told anyone that he left these
things for you. He instructed meto keep it close to okay, So
that's another reason why you believe that'sthe secrets of senator. Yeah, sounds

(06:10):
almost like a movie Polaritist. Ican't wait to be played by Jude Law.
Just exciting, all right? Great? Uh, yes, the coffee
would be great. Um. Sopolaritis goes out, speaks to someone and
comes back in in short order vittles, coffee to alcohol are all brought in
everybody, Assuming you're trying to makean investigation role, make your investigations role

(06:35):
roles. Can I do with advantagesince I was the first one, since
you're the first one to stroke yourchin? Yeah, you think that that's
where they I'm asking the objectively.Do you think it's worth advantage that you're
stroking your chin? Yes, well, I'm really helping her with coffee and
stuff, you know. Okay,I was helping you, so you do

(06:58):
have advantage, sweet Tim but doesn'troll himself thanks to him. Yeah,
no problem. I'm looking at bloodstain really hard. Which one all of
them? Okay? Thirteen? Chucktwo? Two? So Attilius, Um,
I'm gonna going and drip on myown feet trying to get to the

(07:20):
coffee. Tillius goes Atilius goes andstarts looking sort of behind the desk area,
and he's looking at all these books, and um, Tom, I
think you're maybe the person who noticesthat he's standing in the pool of blood
while he's looking at these books.Well, given, then I rolled to

(07:41):
four. I'm gonna walk up.I'm going, I'm gonna I'm gonna scampering.
What do you see? My backisn't get on top of the umkesher.
You go to thirteen with advantage?Yes, wow, you guys are
investigators. Indeed are not investigators.That's for damn short. Yeah, um

(08:05):
okay. With the thirteen, Ithink the first thing you notice is that
they are treading through all of theblood here, and I feel like the
blood is important murder. Yeah,gross, it's not like we have I

(08:26):
don't know, fantasy DNA John Laneyup a level of forensics that we really
have here. Um okay, witha thirteen, I think what I'll tell
you his First of all, younotice that they're treading through it and making
a bit of a mess of it. Um. But secondly, I think

(08:50):
with a thirteen, what I'll giveyou is if you remember your name was
written in blood in his own blood? Um on the black boy. How
do we know that it was hisown blood? Do we have fantasy DNA
Pilaritis told you that it was hisown blood? I think that's probably what
you have to go on. Youcan ask Claritis that if you'd like.

(09:11):
Um. All right, So thefirst thing I do is I immediately shove
Attilius and Tom Get out of theblood. Get out of the blood.
Oh sorry, I didn't even thatdidn't even my feet is so large.
I thought you were onto something withthe book first one. Myself, I
thought i'd found something as well.Claricis comes back in and it looks like
a bloody marauders mapping bloody footprints,and um, I'm down like using I

(09:41):
don't know Utilisa's cape. Just justscrub. What are you doing, kestro
while are you tugging on my cape? What if we hum? But I
think the second thing you noticed beyondthat is you can see where he So
he was very clearly stabbed sitting inhis chair at his desk. There's a

(10:01):
big pool of blood there. There'sit was out there anymore, right,
correct? Correct? Use the boardwhere he wrote her name is to his
twenty feet Okay, so it wasthe dager of yact. So he was
stabbed, bled, threw up there. All of that is still there.

(10:24):
Then he drug his body a prettygood distance over the black at all time,
and you can see where his bodywas kind of laying when he supposedly
he wrote kestrol on the blackboard.What's peculiar peculiar about it, Kestro is

(10:46):
that he could have written it onthe wall kind of right in front of
him, because he's laying down,you can kind of tell by the smear.
But instead he kind of he wouldhave had to strain to reach up
and write it on the blackboard insteadoff the wall. I want to um
ah, I feel like maybe hewrote it on the blackboard because even after

(11:11):
fantasy came in there, well,if he did, if he did,
he wrote it specifically on the blackboardand not on the wall, because if
it was wiped off, it'd stillbe traces of it there. I wanted
to do more so than it wouldbe on the wall. Maybe, m
what about I want to do anarcana check on the blackboard. I'm gonna
rub my chin even more vigorously whilelooking at it. You want to rub

(11:35):
your chin more vigorously? Um,I will also rub his chin more vigorous.
Yes, rub my chin an advantageother than in my hand? Can
I do an arcane? Yeah?Okay, Am I really at advantage?

(11:58):
Yes? H uh? Fourteen's presumablyAttilius is actually helping you and not just
stroking your beard. Um, I'dsay that just does it? Uh?
You can't quite tell how, butit's very clear to you that this blackboard

(12:20):
is enchanted. Jah, why doyou think I did the check? I'm
gonna keep going. I got it. There's more. Um, you could
tell that it's enchanted, and it'senchanted to hide things in addition to just
being a blackboard. Right, Um, why doesn't everybody do a history check
forman? M hm hm, Ithink good a history one. But I'm

(12:46):
lucky. I'm lucky. I'm lucky. Relax, relax, nine five sixty
one. It's a nineteen two.Okay, no one else, no one
else remembers, but Tom, Yeah, of course the moment you realize.

(13:07):
Of course, in fact, yousay that it's an enchanted blackboard, and
everybody else's like, cool dude,Yeah yeah, cool story bro telling you
all's enchanted. I can I knowthat you're vigorously stroking your beard, but
it looks really fucked up to me. So can you stop thinking? Um?
You remember, Tom, the firsttime you came into this office,

(13:31):
the senator was writing on this veryblackboard, and the minute you started talking
and he realized you were there,he waved his hand and everything disappeared.
M hmm. I waved my hand. You know, you just start sort
of waxing on and waxing. Kestrelhelps, what are you doing? Wave

(14:00):
my hand too, just wa justlike hello, Clarices, what are you
doing? Wait? I'm magic?What sort of magic? We can't tell
you. One time when we walkedin, Alfiman was writing something and um,
he waved his hand and then itall went away. Yeah, does

(14:22):
this blackboard have memories? Can wetap into it somehow? I I'm a
little embarrassed to admit I don't thinkso. I don't wait to anything some
bust. Yeah, I'm just feelingon the edges of it. I don't
think this black what does magic?It feel really stupid if it is,
but I don't think so. Well, why don't you do an account of

(14:45):
check? Okay? Well that's okay, Claric. Just I don't want to
be rude, but I don't thinkyou're getting the job of head archives.
Feels like you shouldn't have had himbeen led to that one fair enough?
Um. Clericis walks over and startssort of examining it, and in very

(15:11):
in a very odd way, almostlike he's like looking at the wood really
closely, running his fingers along likeit's like very uh, it's a very
textural investigation for an iconic check umn copying. But eventually he sort of
stands up and scratches his head andhe goes, you know, I do

(15:35):
think it's um, I do thinkit's magical. I'm a little embarrassed.
He never he never showed me this. This can stay between us. It
has a password of some sort.I'm sure hmmm, access one two three.
Yeah, that doesn't work a lot. Elvish your friend, I got

(16:02):
okay, Um, I pull outthe wand of reversal and I just wave
it and just say, show mesomething. Oh shit, okay, show
me something makes sense. Yeah,that's actually really good. Um So technically

(16:33):
it's like a counterspell. So xenidoris great. Was here? Um,
it's part and it's a plus.Polaritis forever Chap. I can't believe we
accused him of killing him. Itreally was heartbroke. I think when you

(16:57):
use the wand it works, Ithink it um. The whole blackboard erases.
It's like there's some random writing includingKestrel's name and blood still which is
dripping down. The whole blackboard justsort of erases itself. The blood stays
and then it kind of spreads backacross. And what you see is this

(17:18):
incredibly elaborate equation that solves gravity.You know, god it you're not super
far off. Formula on one sideand on the other side a series of
drawings of spheres and lines and youknow, but it's clearly like one side

(17:40):
depicts one thing and one side depictsanother, and it's a little unclear to
you as to how they work together. Polaritis, for his part, gasps
and looks like pretty distraught, likeif you look back at him, like,
he looks upset. Actually because wefigured it out and you didn't.
I think that's a lot of it. Yeah, like a little bit of
it is. I can't I justput the wand back in, uh my

(18:08):
veils. Well, don't you readthis stuff. I'm gonna take that ale
now it's fun to move on fromcoffee and to ale. I think,
uh no, I don't know.It just shapes, mate. It looks
like some sorts of it's a formulaimportant thing. I believe I might be
able to decide for these, Okay, because you can read language, Yes,

(18:33):
I can read languages. So wouldthat would that fall under this or
no, I don't think that.Well, math is just like a language,
man, it's different. Man,I'm gonna look at that argument language.
I mean it says you can readall writing. Well, I think
we'd have to fudge that quite abit to say you want to try the
math. But um, I dothink it's worth like I think that.

(19:00):
I think what's evidence to you,Attilius based on that skill is the left
side of this thing. Instead ofwhat everybody else is, which is circles
and lines. You can read thelittle labels which are all written in celestial.
Does anybody else speak celestial? Dohave fucking wings on my back?
Hello? No, I have reallyreally agreed to my question. Oh and

(19:27):
what you can read, uh,Attilius are it's in celestial, but it's
the name of the planets in theheavens above you, and stars and the
sun, all of those things.Pilaritis, for his part, is now
up on the right side of theblackboard, like scanning the formula and trying

(19:48):
to make sense of Hilaritis. Doyou know what this is? No?
And yes, yes and no?Um he didn't. Yeah you really not
getting that position, buddy? Yeah? Not sell what you do now?
He didn't study these things. Thiswasn't his area on the On the on

(20:10):
the left, here you've got um, so that's your cartography planetary movement.
On the right side, you've gotorbital mathematics. What are you talking about?
What is I don't even understand theseconcepts. What do you what do
you know? Like astrology? LikeI'm a pisces, right, I thought

(20:30):
like the uf fish, I thoughtyou weren't. Elf. I'm very confused
now. And wait, there's otherplanets. Oh wow, Like the Moon's
not just as a motive like inour planet, just like a part of
the sky. Like that's a that'sa different place, that's a different plane.
Yes, boy, that's not evenlike you were going to struggle with

(20:52):
these mathematics. Why what now,um, take a drink planet there there
are others like it, and andfor years now, scientists and magicians have
tracked them. I've been able tosee them. But I don't know anybody
who has projected their placement in thesky like this. I don't know why

(21:17):
you would do such a thing,like a prophecy that comes out of planetary
alignments. Nothing here indicates prophecy,but that doesn't mean it's not the case.
Are they the other planets flat aswell? Wow? Ah, jeez,

(21:41):
we should have a separate discussion.I'm so confused right now. To
be honest, we got in overheadquite quickly there. Castle you seem to
you seem to be holding your ownhere. You know, maybe know a
little more about this. I mean, I like reading planets, so I've
heard of some of these concepts before. But I don't really know much more

(22:03):
than that. So okay, soI mean give it to us in a
halfling terms, like what are welooking at? There's other worlds you don't
You don't know what this formula doesat all. This formula on the right
a PS two predict and project wherethe planets on the left, each of

(22:26):
them will be at a certain time. And what's the significance of that prediction?
I have no clue. Can youtell us where the planets are going
to be so we can, like, I don't know, drop it down
in a notebook one of these guys, can, I probably won't. I
appreciate your committment. I think,you know, he kind of gives you

(22:52):
the sense that he can. Hecan give you what those coordinates would be,
but it's not going to make anymore sense to you than it does
to him. Guys, are youthinking doesn't? Could later? Hold on?
Now? So okay? Now sorrythere so your listeners himself smagmi face

(23:18):
my guitar. You're you're are you? Are? You? Am I to
understand this that you're saying that Senadormay have been traveling to these other planets
or realms? Was that how theshimmering blue figure handed me this one?
That's what I was kind of thinkingas well. Yes, portals, he

(23:41):
was creating portals, portals, polaritis. Nope, there's nothing there that's not
that's not anything happened moving through spaceand time that would explain how, in
particular tracks where are planet is forwardand backward through time. That's it's an

(24:04):
orbital mathematical formula for how our planettravels in an arc through space flying through
space. Um Castrel takes a pieceof parchment paper and some ink and just
starts copying down whatever we've seen sowe can have it on hand later like

(24:26):
a photo. If you will likea photo, I will. It's a
good idea. Thank you. Timbojust drinks a nail. Yeah, scratches
beard space so wound space planet god, I reckon, Let not much about

(24:48):
this, I mean, timbo,wait until the family back home here.
I have a question, could Ipossibly use eldritch invocations to figure out would
any of those equations mean on theboard. It's you learn fragments of forbidden
knowledge that imbue with an abiding magicalability. Is that a feature or a
trait? Yeah? M hm ohman. So eldritch invocation is like a

(25:18):
eyes of the room keeper and agonizingblast or like sub They're like skills within
that eldritch invocation. So here's whatyou could. You could ask your book,
you could ask your tone. Butyou happen to know at this point.
But there is a cost for that. Any knowledge you gain it has
a pressure. Do not not yet, We're not. We still have a

(25:42):
lot of other things to investigate.We still could get a natural twenty somehow.
I just need to add a zeroto all the twos I'm earling.
But no, but polaritis. Ido have a question, Um, do
you think this equation, whatever itmight be, is worth killing for?

(26:03):
Oh, that's a good question.I without knowing what he was using it
for, I'm not I'm not sure, but it does seem like he thought
it was worth hiding and worth highlightingto you. I did think it was
weird that he didn't write your nameright in front of him on the wall.
He reached up and wrote it onthe black board instead. So what

(26:26):
do you think, um, well, what are the things for us?
Second? What did he leave forus? Do you want to go look
at that? Now? Yes,there's the blood, any sort of important
writing or anything. No, Iwould say, the blood is like just
beneath where the formula. And areyou are you certain that the blood writing

(26:48):
is in his I don't know scrawlit. He he had blood all over
his his right index finger and middlefinger. And does look like his script?
With that said a man committed tohis penmanship. With that said,
I mean you know, yes,he was in his death throws. Could

(27:10):
someone have made him? Possibly hewas trying to get us to look at
the board. Can we do thisspell? There's there's no spell to be
done here. This math I don'tunderstand. Is there do you understand this
well enough? Polaritis? Like?Do you why would he be tracking the

(27:37):
planets? Is there is there atime where this formula like hits like or
could we say like in four dayswe will hit a point that this formula
equates, and we will mercury willbe in retrograde or something. So I
understand it well enough to know thatthis formulas to find the arc of our

(28:02):
orbit. It does not try topinpoint a specific time. It tries to
figure out no matter what time.If you use this formula, you could
then figure out where the planet wouldbe in space? Would that? Would
it be? Would it would itset up? To make it like to
cast a spell with if something wasaligned properly, would make the spell more
prowerful? Says Edric, trying tokill all the damn dwarves. M.

(28:25):
I don't know. Could be anamplifier. Huh um. Cash Loo gets
down and looks at the blood moreclosely. Do you want to roll an
investigation ship? Sure? I mustdo. You want me to scratch your
chin? I'm are you doing it? Um? Sixteen? Gross? Smop

(28:51):
it up? No? It lookslike blood, um. In terms of
how it you know what it tellsyou? I think it is evident to
you as you sort of follow theline he was stabbing in the chair.
He dragged his own body all theway over this blackboard. He propped himself
up in front so that he couldride on this blackboard and then kind of

(29:14):
collapsed back into his own blood.It's very faint, and it sort of
gets lost in the shuffle. Ithink, because particularly because of Attilius and
Tom's footprints. But you think thatthere might be a footprint actually in the

(29:36):
middle of this sort of final puddle. But the footprint doesn't go anywhere.
Just one footprint in the kind ofsemi congealed blood. That just that's it.
Laritus, look at this footprint thatlooked like the Senda doors. He
comes over and crouches down and looks, and you know, he kind of

(29:57):
makes a face. He's not usedto looking at blood this globe. Um,
but he shakes his head. No, he didn't wear this sort of
shoe or anything. I wanted torun and dive head first into the blackboard.
You're no, no, into thebad blackboard. I wanted to run
and dive head first into it todo what that's gonna do? My bad?

(30:22):
Sorry nineteen plus, Um, that'sa twenty. You're slamming this thing
so hard that it cracks. Youmight have a conc The why I thought
why I thought he was going Iyou thought it was a doorway. It

(30:47):
was like a Mario sixty four thing, and I was gonna die and it
was gonna shimmer and I was gonnabeat into the plane. Oh I see
that now? Ah fuck? Ohman, Why what I told you?
I thought I thought I had it, probably heard it? Um? Oh
my putting your finger through you wantto I thought it was like a platform

(31:11):
nine. You gotta be full commit, You gotta commit though. The blackboard
was the portal to another realm.Yeah. Look, man, a lot
of crazy shit's been Okay, Ididn't even know the concept of space.
My brain is leaking out from myears. I have to side with Tom

(31:33):
on this. Um, okay,maybe you just didn't do it right.
Can we get to the gifts aboutprint? And I put it over the
footprint so I can get like animprint, Polaris, let me see your
big guys, huge could be huge? Huge? Uh. Polaritis points out

(31:57):
that it's just one I mean,and you've noticed it as well. He
just reiterates, just one foot front, there's not two, and they don't
go anywhere. Must have a pegleg, Yeah, some sort of one
legged almost certainly looking for a onelegged man that narrows it down, so
fly because there's only one what's aboveus? Look up only sky? So

(32:20):
well, um, what's above you? Or or the murderer is doing like
an arabesque and he's like leaning.What's an arabasque? Isn't that like a
ballet thing? On? No,or you're in the wrong crowd. It's
kind of where I'm going though.Maybe they came down from the rafters or
something like Mission Impossible style, yeah, or from a from a cur So

(32:45):
what's above you is? Um,think of it kind of like a kind
of a bad example, but staywith me. Like a sunroom, what's
above you is like a glass uhbowl sort from your perspective, it's convex
observatory like an observatory. Um,so above you right now is blue sky's

(33:08):
son, etc Um. But youcan see that it like it kind of
magnifies what you're looking at above you. So being inside a telescope almost is
there a telescope not in the room? No, m And now a word
from our sponsors. Yes, Bill'sdriving the carriage there there's a lot of

(33:35):
Unfortunately, you guys have been stoppedfor it's been like half an hour.
You're you're in the middle of dragonspear. What is this baton rouge traffic?
I hate traffic, Bill goes,I'm so sorry. I tried to
talk to the carriage ahead of us, and they said that, um,
there was really nothing that they coulddo, and then they called me some
names. Um, Bill, ifyou can't get us around this traffic,

(33:59):
I'm going to go berserk. Ohwell, don't don't worry about that.
Him. Oh here I got I'vegot some delicious drinks I've been meaning to
show you. Anyway. Look atthis, Look at this ale here?
What's that right there on the front. It looks like my father. Oh
well, it's a berserker mode,a Baltic porter with coffee and cocoa nibs.

(34:19):
In the background, castrol is singing, Party carriage. This will take
the edge off. I might beokay sitting in traffic in this carriage.
If party carriage. If I havea little berserker mode from Southern Prohibition brewing
over there in the fine state ofmissus scissus hippy. It's got coffee.

(34:42):
You know, I've got caffeine.I'm just kestrel is wired. Now I
am wired. You're gonna have tobeat me to that stripper pole here in
the podcast. Wow, I'm notjust spin around it like a little top,
like a little spider monk. Goahead, waits huh wait wait wait
wait, because this three drink kestro, I think we're seeing it out party

(35:08):
carriage party. Watch this. I'mgonna try it. I'm gonna I'm gonna
spin around and I'm gonna do aflip and I'm gonna land in Timbo's lap.
Here we go, rolled it two. Yeah, he doesn't flip and
he lands Timbo. I guess you'repretty happy to see me, rong Po.

(35:34):
I didn't know that I was doingsuch a good job. I almost
I guess that's a berserker mode now. Yeah, I think the window this
party carriage is come front. Well, our good friends at Pelican craft Brands
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(36:00):
realm and berserker mode. Here theBaltic Porter with cocoa nibs and coffee from
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know you're a big fan of SouthernProhibition. I'm a very big fan of
this beer and the brewery. Theymake tasty ales in this Baltic porter hits
on all the right notes with thecoffee flavors. Do you want to smell

(36:21):
each other, Attilius? Sure?Now Tom and Attilius start making out the
party carriage carriage. I mean,we could be having more fun somewhere else.
I'd like to get stuck in trafficwith you, fellows mode. Indeed,

(36:52):
So what's this game? Magic?The gathering? I've heard that,
Well, do you have some moneythat you want to spend? There's a
lot of magic out there if youwant to go down this whole Uh,
Little Wars has a great magic communitydown thing. Yeah, every Friday night.
That's actually where I heard of it. Uh. Look, I mean

(37:15):
if you haven't heard a little wardsyou're watching this, then it's a game
shop in Baton Rouge. It's absolutelyincredible. Whether you want to play Warhammer,
Fantasy A, Just Sigma d AD Blood Bowl forty K, any
tabletop gaming, any board games.I mean, I I love going to
Little Wars legitimately, so it's notjust straight like Fantasy Dad stuff. You

(37:37):
can, like you said, tabletopgames like board games and everything. I've
learned. One of my favorite cardgames they're ever called Dutch blitz Have you
ever heard of Dutch blitzs? AVonderval, good skin and crazily addictive.
Like a bunch of my friends overthere play it and it is so much
fun. It's just the car.It's like a normal deck of playing car.

(37:59):
H Wow, you're gonna wear somewooden shoes or I mean it's cool
though. It's like you said,Chuck, So it's not just dnds have.
You can go in there and theycan you can you can test games,
or you can run through games thatyou maybe want to buy. They'll
play them for you. They'll they'llthey'll you know, dm it, run
it whatever. Um, you canrank games. You can just bring friends
in there and go play games.Like You've also gotten a lot of my

(38:21):
dice over it wars, a lotof good perphernalia. Yeah, you used
to have problems like finding a houseto play a board game that night,
like everybody had kids or whatever else. Um, yeah, I just go
to Little Wars. Go to LittleWars. You don't have to like reserve
a table or anything. You justshow up, nobody's on the table,
you play. I think now you'restarting to have Yeah, so and you

(38:44):
just set up play. They're they'rethey're awesome at like, they'll walk you
through whatever game, they'll show you. Know, if you're looking for minis,
they'll come and show you which onesare where. Um. I can't
tell you how many times I haveput off my dn D prep until the
last minute and then had to gobuy a dn D many an hour before
a game st and somebody walks upand says, what are you looking for?
And I'm like, oh, Ineed like a goblin rogue who also

(39:07):
has a hat for some reason.Right here. It's pretty crazy. Hell
how much stuff they have now,because in years pass when you went to
a game in place, it waslike slim pickens. Now you know that
place is stacked the rafters with Nowthey have a wall of miniatures. Yea,
the entire store. And even thoughyou could probably get a lot of
that stuff on Amazon or like otherInternet stories, you go there for the

(39:27):
community, for the support, beingthere with your friends. Yeah, and
absolutely you want to buy local andsport UFLG. That's your favorite local game
store. They are They're the best. And um, there's for the Marvel
heads out there, there's a newMarvel game that they're all very obsessed with
that is kind of sweeping the storeI heard, And so if you want
to play it, you can actuallyjust go in and ask Van and they'll

(39:50):
run you through a game. What'sit called. I can't remember that.
It's not the LCG, it's notMarvel Champions. I think it is what
the LCG is. It's a it'sit's a miniatures game like Getting You Battle,
like different you. I don't knowif its objective basic you have a
squad basically, so is that whatis Marvel Crisis Protocol? Okay, there

(40:10):
you go, so check that outthat. I mean, they have it
there and it's a huge community rightnow at a little worse for you Marvel
guys. There you go right offwith Jefferson Highway in Baton Roods, Little
Wars br on Instagram. I'm findthem on Facebook as well, odd number
number at something. But he's notsure what idea. Okay, somebody lowered.

(40:37):
I mean I kind of like Timbo'sidea that somebody lowered themselves. It'd
be clear, not like a holein No. I know it's taking a
glass, but um, there's nothingto hang from. It's not really rafters
or anything. It would have beenpretty difficult. I think, Yeah,
I love for sure. They steppedout of the blackboard. Clara sort of
so, um, I think wefound something. Uh, but do you

(41:01):
want do you want to see thebox he left field reckon it? Yes,
yeah, probably could be a clueor something. My elbows all right,
and he sort of ushers you intothis side room. It's it's pretty
clearly Polaritis's domain. He opens thedoor and it's like a much smaller chamber,
not nearly as ornate, crammed withbooks. Yeah, he starts kind

(41:23):
of swiping things off. He actuallypicks a pile of books off of this
crate and then lifts this crate upone of the one of his desk.
Mess Polaritis. Yes, sorry,excuse them, it's been a challenging No,
it's cool, man, it's cool. Sorry. Um, okay,
So I have a few things foryou. He he was. He came

(41:46):
into my my study one night,and he was kind of giddy about this
idea. He wanted to give youthese things. Yeah. Um, he
loved us. Yeah I guess so. Um. He just to be honest
with you, I didn't understand.I still don't. Um. He was

(42:08):
really excited to give you these things. And he'd met you twice, so
I don't really fully believe a lastingimpression. Yeah, this isn't hard for
I thought we were a Yeah.Wait what I mean? It's und hard

(42:28):
for ust. Yeah with a nightshift man. Okay. So he pulls
up this kind of looks like asmall crown or like a circlet, and
he says this. Um. Allhe would say was that it was extremely
magical mine. Okay, and hehands it to you. Really, I

(42:52):
mean you just called it, youknow. I'm like, okay, well,
I was gonna whatever. I didn'tcare enough to call it. Do
you want to roll in our contratruck? Oh, put on your head
and jumped in the black board.That's the key could be oh sixteen sixteen

(43:21):
um, okay, So this isa crown or a circlet or a tiara
if you would prefer um. Itwill change shape to its weird. It
lets you change any one word ofa D and D spell, but it
must rhyme oh no, oh yeah, and then the spell changes according way.

(43:45):
Whoa oh I remember wow? Doyou want to look remember? No,
it's not a thing. I doremember it. How do you remember
it? I remember this too,was it? I think so our find
you about it later. There was, well, there was one where you
could change one letter of a word. Yeah, I've never heard the rhyming

(44:07):
thing. You can change one orboth but one word of any D and
D spell. Now it needs tobe in your class like druid or whatever,
um and then you can change theyea the spell. Accordingly, it's
called the rhyme crown power word tealjust turn everything teal finally love it Is

(44:35):
that what you mean by rhyming,though it has to rhyme with the original
spell? Yeah, okay, thefirst power word kill It could be powerword
bill Okay, yeah, yes,yes, and bills just gets the name
of the spell. Yeah. Doyou want the do you want to look
at some spells healing word? Youcould be like, okay, healium bird
and the bird flies over and that'sthe gest of it. Yeah, that

(45:00):
could get fun. That could getvery fun. Obviously, all of the
uses, like the way it changesthe spell, is very much up to
me. I can certainly reject youknow, that's something too powerful, but
I'm gonna try and let you haveit. That's a nice dr on that
orchestral goddamn it has to be aspell that I I already had in my
arsenal Um. If I get alock of hair, I'm going to be

(45:22):
pissed, to be painfully clear aboutthat. Oh man. He turns around
and pulls out a lock of hairand set to the side. Um,
for you to cast the spell,it has to be in your family of
spells, but it doesn't have tobe your level. Okay, So you
can figure out a higher level spell, and what I'll do is I'll just
scale it down to your levels.That makes sense if it were a level

(45:45):
non spell, but you forgot arhyme that works, I'm just gonna scale
the power of it down to yourOkay. But like, so, it
can be any spell, even thoughit's not in any of the spells that
I had as a character, aslong as it's a druid spell for you,
okay. But if if like Tom'slike, yo, give me the
rhyme crown, then he could doa hard spell like you guys can switch
it off. Yeah, so it'snot one time use. Um, No,

(46:07):
it's gonna be. Yeah, it'sone exactly, once for a long
rest, once for a long rest. All right, cool, Okay,
he reaches out and pulls out thisbig um club. Yeah, it's like
I want, I want to reachfor it, and then Timbo just reaches

(46:28):
over the top of me and snagsit. Grab it all, Dad.
So once you grab it, yourealize that, you know, as you're
pointing out, there's a chain attachedto us. Yes, and a ball
that has sort of a spirally designon it. M He says, yes,
that's the snail flail. Snail flail. The snail flail always makes you

(46:57):
go last in initiative order. Okay, it is a plus two weapon.
If you go last, you haveto be wielding the snail flail to have
that effect, mind you. Soif you pull it out mid you know,
mid battle, then you're gonna haveto wait a turn until I can
put you last an initiative order.Then what's a plus two weapon. You

(47:21):
get plus two to attack, plustwo to damage. Pretty good, pretty
it's snail flaila and the rhyme crownand the rhyme crown which doesn't rhyme.
Huh, it's just not right.I considered it. I like it though.
Yeah. Um. He turns aroundand grabs a crossbow. Well,

(47:47):
he steps on my toes. Stepsup to receive and he places it in
your hands. Um, and Iand I and I fucking pump it like
terminator style. It explodes. Yeahyeah, um what okay thirteen thirteen,

(48:12):
Yeah, I think that's gonna um. This is the funny bone bow.
The funny bone bow. Once fora long rest. If you hit a
character, hit a player, anenemy with this bow, you can force
them to make a charisma save andif they fail, they collapse into debilitating

(48:35):
laughter and are paralyzed. Yes,wow, I think uh, I think
joker syndrome from the animated Batman series, yes, or the joker joker gas
yeah mm hmm, all right,two more joke. Tell me my joke's

(48:59):
not funny again? Good not funny. Um. He reaches in the box
and pulls out this like bracer,like a long bracelet sort of, and
he says, you know this canturn your enemies to stone. Essentially.

(49:24):
He called it the rock band.He thought it was very clever. The
rock band. That sounds like it'ssomething that attilious. Now take this Atilius
roll our connor gee um seventeen ohperfect. Yeah. So this is gonna

(49:51):
allow you to cast flesh to stone, which is literally like what it sounds
like. It paralyzes your enemies.It has reach, arges, does not
reset. It has three charges andthat's it forever. However, it also
can cast stone shape. Stone shapeis where you can like take any I

(50:13):
don't know the exact thing, butit's like you can take fifteen square feet
of stone and reshape it however youlike, or something like that. We
can look up the actual definition.So it also has that ability. The
flesh the stone is only three chargesand that's it. I'll be like,
let's get ready to rock, allright, last one? And he turns
around and pulls out what all ofyou, as human beings, not fantasy

(50:37):
characters, would recognize to be abaseball bat. Yea, what is okay?
I'm gonna throw to people's next right, this is the vampire bat.
What And he hands it to Billand Bill starts like checking his swim.

(51:00):
Why that's okay? What's it do? Well? It? Um? You
can hit people with it and whateverdamage they take you received like hit points.
Ye leach it out of them.But why is it called a vampire
bats? Is it just from them? Gotcha? Is it double effective against

(51:25):
vampires? If we run into avampire hard enough. Okay, that's um,
that's what do you have for you? He was he was very excited
about this app two in the morning. So did he make these? I
think he did. It seems likeyes, I wouldn't know. We don't
know what a baseball No, Idon't think quite interesting that he got a

(51:51):
baseball bat while he's doing on thesecelestial things. Hilaricius. Do you believe
after all of these presents that hewould give to us, that he would
really that we would really go andkill him? No? No, no,
I believe you. Your story istoo ridiculous to possibly be made out.

(52:13):
We believe you too about about notkilling him. Oh oh, yes,
well good. I don't think Iwas a real suspect, but I
appreciate that anyway. It's sort ofa preemptive apology. It's pretty cool.
What does it look like? Howdo you want to look? Um?
I don't know, let me think. Okay, go free, Okay,

(52:35):
cool. It definitely somewhat shaped likea crossbow. That yeah, I'm thinking
like coloring, like gold plating andstuff like that. Have we pretty much
done what we can in the room. Where do we leave the room to
go to look at the get theitems. You left the room to come
look at these items, Okay,but there was nothing else back in the
murder room. You made your investigationcheck in the room, so you've you've

(53:00):
found what you're gonna find from aninvestigation. Ole, just is anyone else
we should speak to you? It'sa possible suspect um. I don't know.
Um. He was so well beloved, most majors knew that his power

(53:23):
was incredible. And frankly, it'shard to imagine who else could have gotten
your knife off of you stabbed him. It was not on me. I
mean, I think we should goback over the story since you don't remember
it very well. I sacrifice thisdagger to this dragon creature lord on another

(53:46):
plane. So if you know ofanyone who can tell us how this might
have how somebody might have gotten itback, that would be great. Anyone
specializing and mystical planes or earth thatconsumes daggers. I don't know how this

(54:07):
dagger came to be back up.I just remember sacrificing it. Were in
a planes walker. I've heard ofsuch things. What you don't know what
I just do. Indeed, they'realways talk about planes walkers Yeah, there's
a whole game called planes Walkers.I want to be a plane surfer.

(54:30):
Mm hmm much more badass? Ain'tWe're over two? Yeah? We're not
doing great. M I've decided.Also, what I want of my crossbow?
Nice? I want um on thehandle, you know, like the

(54:52):
the the the drama masks, likethe sad crime face, and like the
happy face. I want that onthe hand, like the pearl handle and
stuff. Yep, done, beautiful, done. Um. As far as
as far as who else you cantalk to, you can talk to Sir

(55:13):
Troubridge. Oh yeah, all right, let's go talk to ye troue Bridge.
Probably true, said okay, wellwhat Trob. Yeah, you'll need
to find him or you won't.Um, if I can be of help,
please? Yeah? Could you geteveryone to stop like trying to arrest
us and murder us and bounty huntus. I'll try. UM. That's

(55:37):
a directive from the King's Can youdo like a magic portal to Troue Bridge?
Just open us up? We cango through. I don't know where
Troue Bridge is currently, So doyou have a sling ring? I have
a sling ring. No, youdon't know where troll bridges. Yeah,
where would you be hanging out?Controls like to go under bridges. So
I'm gonna live confused by the namerocks fall and you all die. Oh

(56:00):
my god, the ceiling collapse.Is there a bridge in the city?
Um? You know, I knowwhere Troubridge is? State? Okay,
perfectly? Who is he again?Who's Stridge? He was a confidant of
or a warrior of some sort.Yeah, he's alertis was like his yet

(56:23):
his assistant Troubridge was kind of likehis brother in arms and his confidant drinking
buddy. Okay, I guess wecould just hop in our carriage. Yeah,
say we do it like you're referringto it as your carriage. Now,
yeah, he's chorus, it's yourdad's. It doesn't matter, all

(56:44):
right, So you leave right,yep, yep, okay, roll inside
everybody? Oh god, man?Oh I rolled the nineteen what's my minus
two? Seventeen eleven, eighteen eighteen? Oh good, it's a good team

(57:10):
check except Tom. Well, I'mjust looking at this fucking crossbow. Tom's
marveling at the crossbow and whispering orbitalmathematics to himself. He just looks mind
blown. Maybe you can help me. I'm just trying to understand that,
like you know that it's not flatplanet. It is it is Tom trying
to flirt us out, not tBob. Don't confuse the two. Um

(57:35):
okay, I think the three ofyou. Tom is is very sucked into
looking at his new weapon. He'shaving a lot of fun. I think
the three of you on your wayout, um, everyone still looks very
serious. However, it almost seemslike everybody is going out of their way,

(57:57):
not you're being escorted by polaritis um. And on the way end,
people kept sort of nodding at youat least acknowledge your presence. Almost everyone
is looking the opposite direction, downat their feet and then near the door
what appears to be like a kid, like a sixteen year old long Robes.

(58:19):
I'm clearly part of the school ofum of magic here. And he
looks at you and then cuts hiseyes towards the door and then turns around
and walks away. But he isthe only person the whole time who really
makes eye contact. Go ays,I got a creepy feeling right now.

(58:42):
Are y'all catching my shoelaces untied?And so I drop ye hold up a
second, Hold up the Polaritis,Hold up right there? Yep? What's
what's u? Have y'all seen her? Sweet? This crossbow? This thing?
What are you all talking about?The'll take your bat out? Going

(59:04):
on to put it on. He'sstill checking swings. Get something's making me
a little nervous that there's something waitingfor us on the other side of that
door, Paris. Is there anotherway out of this castle? Dozens?
Yeah? Yeah, another one?Sure? How do you which way would

(59:27):
you like? Um? This sortof it's not only the main entrance but
also the closest to do we reallyfeel like we can trust Polaritis at this
point in time? Does it?Does it feel like, uh, Polaritis
maybe is setting us up here?I don't know, or leading leading us
to I don't think. I don'tthink. Uh no that that's not a

(59:49):
good insight. Check one? Whatis it? Zero two minus two?
Yeah? Um, you played howyou want. But I think the way
it would be interesting to quite bestis, Um, you are deeply skeptical
Plaritis all the side. You feellike maybe he's led you into a trap?

(01:00:12):
Okay, Um, I'm thinking,like you know, it's a little
bit more scree. Sure, uhis the north side of the building.
Sure, that's great. We what'son the north what's on the north side?
Timber? Like, what's wrong inour hand? Signals? I got

(01:00:36):
him some baseball, I'll tell himstill and so now so now I too,
am looking at plaritifs a little sideways. What's on the north side of
the building, pilaritis? Yeah,h a cop three exits. I can
go south if you if you prefer, what do we when we when we

(01:00:59):
leave this building, we have tobe in a covered carriage or we can't
get through the town no matter what. Okay, Um, I've got the
crown. Damn, this was quick. Now Yeah, I've got the crown.

(01:01:20):
And I want to cast a spellcar Instead of bark skin, I
want to call it narc skin.I want to reach over and touch one
of the people that's like looking awayso they can become a narc and like
tell me what's going on? Good? Okay? All right? So something

(01:01:45):
is they're gonna make a maybe awisdom saving throw. Let's see if they
can do you want to read?Says no, because it's kind of relevant
at this point, going off ofwhat narc skin sounds like, okay,
oh shit, this is too fun. But I mean we still have to

(01:02:09):
act like it's a spell though,it's to have a mechanic. Yeah.
And then I put my other handon his shoulder. Yea, and we
roll again. Um, how aboutUh? He turns around and he kind

(01:02:30):
of like, he looks very concernedthat you've just touched me. I don't
Uh, there's people waiting up andI stroke his cheek. Oh wow,
it's okay. Is there anything youwant to tell me? He goes,
Oh no, why why are youtouching me? And then I'm at his

(01:02:51):
feet and I'm looking up at him. Anything you want to tell us?
There's people, there's people outside.Why don't you look at us? And
they're looking at the they're gonna hurtI think they're gonna hurt you. But
why are you don't touch me?Hilaritis? Yeah, we'll call a trap.
Are you sitting here? People outsidetrying to hurt us? Why are
you asking me? Well, you'releading this right out this door. You

(01:03:13):
said you wanted to. If Iwas going to see trap for you,
I wouldn't give you powerful magic weaponsto fight that trap. Yeah, he's
been with us this whole time.He didn't have time to go set up
a trap but there, and he'sgot a whole building full of contemporaries than

(01:03:34):
such. But again, he justgave us a bunch of darkskin. Guy
runs out the door suddenly his naturaltwenty. I think the way we're gonna
play it as he's aware you've casta magical effect on him, and he's
viewing it as like it was athreat to him. He's gonna go tell
these people that you're right inside.Yeah, we need to boot. So
I think as soon as he goesout that door, you're aware, like,
oh tub as he's ready, likeyells at his boy. He's like,

(01:03:57):
Billy, Billy, Tom, fuckedyour He's like to me exactly like
turns to Jeff his boy sound likeJeff grabs the basically the collars of Attilius

(01:04:25):
and Timbo and just started dragging himthe other direction. Okay um, and
I'm like, come on, Pilaritis, show me another way out of here.
Let's go. Pilartis Um grabs anassistant and shoves them towards you and
shouts the door's name. It's it'sactually hard for you to hear, and
he said he yells I'm going tohandle them here. I'm going to stop
them from Wow. I'm really sorry, And you can see that people start

(01:04:50):
like crowding through the door and hekind of holds his hands up and this
bubble starts to emerge as you guysrun away. All right, all right,
I trust you again for now.Stan lead you through some winding hallways,
um and he looks nervous, tosay the least, and finally you
reach this little door. It's completelyunornate in every way. It just kind

(01:05:14):
of looks like an interior door.And he stops and sort of puts his
hands in the door. This isyou're going to leave this way. It's
gonna spill you out on the NorthStreet and you have. Nice to meet
you. Jeff, by the way, I didn't fuck that guys. How

(01:05:36):
that guy he's kind of a itdoesn't you know it used to be a
good guy. Anyway. Look,I don't know why you're running. You
guys are greatly I've heard all yourstories. You guys are it's like really
cool. You know you were dropping. You want to come hang out with
us, like join the party?Jeff? Sorry, should I shouldn't put
it to the group. First,I don't mean to get Jeff. He

(01:05:57):
said, this is gonna spill usout on the North street. Um,
we we kind of need. Uh, let's just put our hoods up some
cover. Re transportation is what weneed. I think your character is probably
still gonna be on the opposite side. Do you want me to go get
it? Yeah, and everybody.Everybody's gonna know that carrot so right for
us? No, not necessarily.You did just buy that well, actually

(01:06:18):
you didn't even buy it. Yeah, it's just oh just from the cash
from house. Ye, my cocklesshouse for you. Yeah, right,
because Bill got it. Yeah,that might be the move. Bring it
around him and Bill should go andget the carriage and bring it around.
We're not build though, Yeah,let's let's not get and build. Bill
might start to get all that ifhe's driving it, like they might know

(01:06:39):
that that's yeah all right, butJeff has to drive it. That means
for now driving around. Yeah allright. I wonder if Jeff has a
brother named Greg. Huh. Iwonder if you wonder why that guys watch
house darken them out. Next timeon the night shift, I pick up

(01:07:05):
Tom and like have him like turnto where they can't see, and he
sticks his Fingernails's thrown up all over. I turn over. I'm like,
yeah, beware, Oh wll beunto you. Who would costs cuss upon
you and your kin
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