August 2, 2022 • 50 mins
The pitched battle happening between the hedges outside of Sir Alduous Trowbridge’s estate is still raging. How will it end, who will it hurt, and why is Timbo laughing so hard at the descriptions of violence?
The Night Shift is an actual-play, homebrew D&D Podcast and Youtube series that features the ridiculous antics of Jay Ducote, T-Bob Hebert, Lindsey Duga, and Chuck Pierce playing Dungeons and Dragons version 5e.
Brought to you by Little Wars (https://littlewars.com/) and Pelican Craft Brands (http://pelicancraftbrands.com/).
SUBSCRIBE: to make sure you see new episodes. REVIEW: to ensure we make more.
Content Warning: This episode contains harsh language, violence, and touches on topics like genocide, abuse, and torture.
Links: https://linktr.ee/TheNightShiftRPG
Music by: Jay Parker
Part of Drop Biscuit Studios
The Night Shift is an actual-play, homebrew D&D Podcast and Youtube series that features the ridiculous antics of Jay Ducote, T-Bob Hebert, Lindsey Duga, and Chuck Pierce playing Dungeons and Dragons version 5e.
Brought to you by Little Wars (https://littlewars.com/) and Pelican Craft Brands (http://pelicancraftbrands.com/).
SUBSCRIBE: to make sure you see new episodes. REVIEW: to ensure we make more.
Content Warning: This episode contains harsh language, violence, and touches on topics like genocide, abuse, and torture.
Links: https://linktr.ee/TheNightShiftRPG
Music by: Jay Parker
Part of Drop Biscuit Studios
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
The Night Shift is a real playD and D video and podcast series for
mature audiences. Content warnings can befound in the episode descriptions Last Home on
the Night Shift. All right,so you wave it in the air.
Yeah, it's just as the dustis sort of settling back down and you
can sort of see all these peoplethat you wave this wand and a spray
(00:23):
of liquid just sort of flings inall directions. We'll find out what happens
next session. Oh shit, Ican't scrape together gold. My souls already
sold. Swim you trapped a dspell. I wish you well, diver
(00:44):
creat your own your streets. Youdo better to retreats if you want it
done right, don't huh? Anight Shift. A pitched battle has begun
between the hedges outside the Troubridge Estate. Bolts, arrows and spells flit back
(01:06):
and forth between the two sides,a dangerous exchange of metal and magic.
It's being said that the outlaws whokilled Eccenator al Firing and attacked Gernich LinkedIn
are now assailing Sir Aldis Strowbridge andthe good people of the HedgeLand Shops.
A young woman crawls behind the counterof her apothecary's shop, a bolt sticking
out of her leg, blood smearingacross her white marble floor. This neighborhood
(01:33):
hasn't seen violence like this in decades, much less. With the sun high
in the sky still, she seesthe tall half eleven woman begged for peace
twice, but to no avail.She's sobbing now, taking deep, heaving
breaths, and then looks up tosee the tealhaired druid woman point a wand
in her direction as the kicked updust around her dissipates an acrid smell a
(01:59):
company these the toxin that emits fromthe tip of the wand it lands amongst
the mercenaries, on her roof andon others, and the strumming of bowstring
ceases from moment, replaced by thegroans of grown men and women writhing in
place. So castro, you're gonnaroll four D twelve as a poison spread.
(02:23):
She's just biowarfared and people biological warfare. Also, why did you laugh
the bark with the health felin womanlike dragging herself across the at It was
it was about the part of thetale about how this part of town hadn't
(02:46):
seen these sorts of violent delights andin decades, and then like picturing this
woman with the bolting her leg it'sfunny. I got it. Yeah,
we did that. We did that, We did that. That was usulve
(03:07):
four died twelve, man, Ithink I've got died twelve. Is the
one that has a twelve on it? Thank you? I got that borrows
the wow, so many of youpeople giving me dice. Thank you our
powers combined. Yes, you willroll that one does have a twelve on
(03:28):
it. Still on forty eight.This one is legit. You all right,
I'm rolling them. Roll it yeah, eleven, ten, six,
six, okay, okay, thatplus rolls on the whole. So two
(03:51):
of those people's groans stop, Ohmy god. Two of the others um
continue groaning and do not pick uptheir loss bow or bow and arrow again.
So four people just out of commission, out of how many hard to
say. We kind of discussed thisin the previous session. You're you've got
(04:12):
hedges all along one side of theroad, well both sides of the road,
but then shops on the other side, and these mercenaries or bounty hunters
or wherever they are they're they're duckedamongst both the hedges and the shops,
mainly on the roofs of the shops. Um and you you keep finding new
ones, but you're not exactly surewhat the total count is. Ok and
(04:33):
uh, there's more where that camefrom. The guys, what did I
just do? I think there's likestuff coming out of this one. It's
really gross, smells bad. Yeah, it's nasty. Okay, I'm stop.
(04:53):
We'll run into the carriage. Rememberhow I had to set a quota
on fart jokes? Yeah? Whydo I have to be knocked out this
time? I know you want sodesperately to be able to make a joke
orchestral. Get aboard. Let's go, all right, So Jeff and Jeff
and Bill are in the carriage,right and as it's rolling away? Yeah,
(05:14):
yeah, yeah, absolutely, yeah, Jeff's driving. Okay. See
I wasn't gonna do it before,but now roll athletics. You couldn't just
get into damn carriage. You hadto dive in and say I do my
own stunts roll roll acrobatics athletics.I hope you fail. Oh God,
(05:39):
I hope you fail. I wanta wheel to run over your rest.
No, she just wanted to.She wants to shows her cool moves.
Uh nine, all you get in. It's not as graceful as you'd like.
She goes to swan dive, butshe doesn't jump quite far enough.
(06:00):
Her hands get inside the door,and you guys are like, oh god.
Her smash against the back and herlegs are kind of dragging on the
ground. It feels like it feelslike Tebup wants you to experience. You
got okay, I'm in. Um, you get in the carriage. Someone
slams the door shut. I assumeyeah, where we headed? Bill leans
(06:23):
leans down, opens like a limousinedoor separator thing before here, and goes,
where are we going? Just gogo just just okay, any anywhere,
Jeff, anywhere We're going anywhere.Get out of here. We gotta
get out. We gotta get offof this fucking street. You can hear
Jeff just cursing to himself. Okay. Several minutes pass, I'm just I'm
(06:44):
just driving. Um, Well,y'all, you're gonna have to plan where
to Yeah, yeah, yeah,you two are the only ones conscious Castrol
and Timbo, so yeah, wecan probably fix that with the benefit of
several minutes. Where are we going? Um, we're gonna try and get
out of the city. Should wego back to the cocust out of the
(07:08):
well, maybe my my father doeshave resources, Maybe he could somehow smuggle
us out. Yeah, I feellike we are. Yeah. If I
feel like if we go to thecity gates, we're gonna have a hard
time getting out right now. Yeah, they still have it lockdown pretty tight.
All right, my father's estate,and then we'll get these two knuckles.
(07:29):
That's got to be priority number oneis getting them back conscious. Uh
yeah, okay to the right.I think we've already firmly established that their
ouse. Yeah. Cool. Infact, I think when you pull up
the guard that uh that Tom hadpreviously tried to impress with Spider Man a
carriage, um recognizes you, goesahead and waves and closes the gate behind
(07:56):
you, etc. So you getout. You're at the pool house of
the cocuyst Is she worried about methe garden? I think it was she
worried about me. I don't thinkshe she knows she's driving. She sees
me and take them out of thegarriage, and they when she sees them
take me out probably Do you wantme to say yes, Yeah, she's
uh, she's very worried. Yeah, I saw a single tear who rolls
(08:20):
down her face? H Yeah,Can I ask you a question? Yeah?
What's her name? Her name?Yeah, what's her name? That's
what I thought. Let's move backAngela, Angela so well, yeah,
so far away? All right,okay, point taking, but you know
(08:41):
what, she still sheds out here. She cares a lot more about you
going out stadium, just one thumbsup? Love it? Okay? Uh?
Size. I presume you get carriedinside the poolhouse, which you guys
have made your temporary Yeah, yep, what's next? Um, well,
(09:07):
there's gotta be like healing potions.Yeah, there's gotta be yeah, healing
potions in the poolhouse. Yeah,in the poolhouse, specifically the poolhouse,
wouldn't I mean so turtle jelly orsomething, chriss. Children running around by
the pool side and they slip andskin their knees. Oh, sort of
a first aid kid. Yeah,absolutely, let's say yes, I don't.
I don't. I don't care enoughto fight you on it before the
(09:31):
first aid kid, before we arouseattilius rouse. We don't want to arouse
yeah, please don't. I'd justbe really let me, let me restate.
I don't want to him. Youdo whatever you want. He is
my head or life. Wake thatdragon. Now I'm gonna dig into his
(09:52):
pockets and it's gonna get really weird. I uh, I want to.
I want to. I want totake the rock band uh that we had
gotten from Exenador. Um, we'll, dude, I'll, i'll Yeah,
I'm gonna steal it from him whilehe's unconscious. Yeah, what a friend?
(10:16):
But all right, what a friend? Do you jump my pocket as
well? Do you want him to? Yeah? Oh wow, you probably
found that healing posh I have inmy pockets. True, it's true because
we actually have a dialogue about thisin the last session where he was like,
yeah, I know it's there,but I feel like I wouldn't check
(10:37):
that. But he's totally fine checking. Yeah, nice l I would have
probably given it. Okay, sowe wake the others up. Yeah,
let's do that. Okay with thefirst aid? What where? Where?
Where? Where are we? Where? What is orchestrals are we have back
(11:00):
at the pool? Yes, we'reback at the poolhouse. Um, that
did not go well. That didnot go well. At all, and
for some reason, this wand hasacid spray coming out of it. We
all should have seen it. Theblue Ghost came back with another wand.
Yes, indeed there was another oneof those projections. It was weird.
(11:24):
Did your hand and do the hurtingthing when you got closer and closer?
Did it? Yes? Yes,yes it did. Yeah it must have.
Yes, I know your remember didyou did? Did you do you
think it was Zenador or somehow connectedtoo? Probably I'm assuming it's one of
(11:48):
his wands. Again, I'll remindyou that you tried to get it to
play charades but it couldn't okay,Yeah, well he wasn't very good at
charades. One word, two words, the sharad did not work and the
um are we should we be herethough? Aren't we just going to get
attacked here now? And get yourdad? Jeff drove us fast enough to
(12:13):
where we didn't get followed, butwe couldn't very well be smuggled out of
the city with you too unconscious,so we hadn't fair enough? Is it
rat? Since time? Is ittime to go back to the sewers?
Get out of here? Smells downthere, mate, it's awful. It
might be only escape, and there'sno hot shower waiting on the other end
(12:35):
either. Well might be the ticket, though I can't think of anything else.
I'm pretty sure we're not gonna getthrough the gates. No, no,
no, uh, custra, whatdo you think your father might have
a way out of the city.Yeah, I wasn ask um I walk
out of the poolhouse. Um,kind of lean over the wall and or
(12:56):
your father striding towards the pool.I was going to talk to one of
the guards. Okay, I'm gonnalike look over his shoulder and be like
he's doing like a like a freedad. He does not look happy,
yes, actually looks pissed. Yep, he does look a little pissed.
But when he gets with like threefeet away from you, he goes no
hell and pulls you into There werearrows all over the carriage. I didn't
(13:18):
know what had happened. Are youokay? And he like sort of like
looks you over and there's no holesin you, So he's like, okay,
are your friends? Okay? Fine, I could use a beverage.
Who assaulted you? Who did youassault? Did you assault someone? No?
It wasn't me this time. Okay, we're good tried to stop it.
Dad, like I was not,you know, I was like,
(13:41):
hey, peace, you know that'sso unlike I know, well there was
a lot of them. I wasn'tsure we were going to be able to
get away without you know, urgingsome kind of piece who did attack us.
Were they were their mercenaries? Yes, it did seem that way.
Yes, so bounty hunters. Yes, I got a missive um in the
(14:05):
study half an hour ago. TheCouncil to the King's Veins, the Council
to the Kings, um, puta bounty on your head each that's an
official sort of state bounty. Councilof the Kings. What Council of the
(14:26):
King's Veins? So the Council ofthe Kings Veins, you guys would know
this. It's there's two kings andit follows the bloodline male or female.
Um, And so there's a councilto those two kings. It's composed of
well, previously seven people, butex Senator was one of them, so
now six people. Um, youknow personally one of them Sir Agash Boulderspin,
(14:50):
who's the great thing of the Dwarfs. M he's one of the council
members. Find the one that wemet under the mountain. That's correct,
Yeah, right, interesting, Yes, I did something a little investigating.
I thought you'd be proud. Um. There were two votes against it,
(15:11):
so Sir Boulder Dash and Lady Bixonstar Helm. Do you know her?
Lady? Who know Bixon star Holm. She's a halfling last no fierce woman.
Um, I'm intrigued. But ifshe you know, she voted against
it. I was a little curiousabout that. Loose her name again,
(15:31):
Lady Bixon star Holm, Buxom starHolm. I believe my God should have
seen that coming, Bixon Starholm.And where is she? Where could we
find her? It's Bison star Him. You don't know, I haven't heard
that anyfore, asking name Papa.Oh oh, like I said, half
(15:58):
Lane. She's from the Aisles ofAlvos originally, but the aisles of Albost.
We sent someone there, didn't we, pretty Yes, the princess and
what's Greg? Greg? Get it? They came through it must have gotten
miss to miss Bucks them homeboy.Yeah, what's his face? Drunkard?
(16:22):
Oh Man haslet yep? Jim hasit right, Lindsay, Yep, that's
it. Such a classic Lindsay referenceclassic sports reference. Wait what Yeah,
I mean, don't don't worry.Probably a lot of people that don't know
who the fuck Jim has it is, Saints head coach, no his last
(16:52):
names. That was the only reference. Um hmm, I think she was
swayed by this um these friends ofyours. Yes, yes, Greg's a
great guy, he too is Greg. How would Greg sway lady? S
Well, okay, it's probably notGreg. It's probably the princess. And
(17:15):
uh and Zedric Haslett who's an asher? Yes, I know of Edric Listle.
I think he was an asher.M how do you unbecome an asher?
Well? I think he's mostly inhis cups these days. Mm.
Well, yeah, he likes coffee, I mean he does. That is
(17:37):
also true. He does like coffee. Speaking of he sort of waves his
hand and attend it comes ever withcoffee. And two, Dan, we
need to get out of here sosoon. You just you just got here,
I know, but we have amission wanted. We don't want your
home to be destroyed or attacked.And they will eventually come for us.
(18:00):
Oh uh okay, what they're away. You can get us out of the
city. We need to get outof dragons beer. Um, you mean
like surreptitiously. Yes, I believe. I don't think we're just gonna walk
through the gates. H sub diffuseis not my main skill set. As
(18:22):
you know. What if we hadlike a big card, you can ask
mom hit under the leaks familiar.She's just really good sneaking. Um,
I feel like we should talk aboutyou should talk about this. It's a
weird way about what you saw.No, um So, time for luscious
(18:48):
leaks come back? Huh card cardfull leaks? Um So? We we
sometimes get shipments of imported materials,as you know, silk and things.
Uh. Perhaps we could hide youin the bottom on the way out.
Yes, yes, I like thatbetter than the sewers, the sewers,
(19:11):
your daughters sewers. When you firstfound a rat did you know that rat
sense is a real thing? It'scrazy, you know, just now just
realize that was the thing. Yes, it is. It's not a D
and D mechanic, but it isa real than it is speaking of that
(19:37):
looks really good? What rat CeNSEis real? Rat Sense was a company
that I googled and I did nottell you otherwise. I thought, Okay,
now I feel betrayed away. Youshould betrayed. Okay, let me
arrange that. Um, I'll loopyour mother since she's since she's so good
(20:03):
at being sneaky, you know,planning your birthday parties, things like that.
Good saved. Yeah, I see, I thought you meant never never
mind, I'm gonna go. I'mgonna go get your mother. And he
walks off. Uh. Let's let'ssay you've taken showers. Um, the
(20:26):
point that everybody is like healed,let's say yes, sweet cool, okay,
healed spells are back. Blah blahblah blah blah. Yeah, long
rest, everybody, goody swagon comesin, they offload, uh silks and
other imported materials. Um. Andthen you guys have basically laid down in
(20:47):
these long crates individually. We rollup in like carpets like Cleopatra, O,
you laid down in long crates Orchestralwho's wrapped up in a carpet for
some reason, um Jesus and umand stuck into like a false bottom of
the wagon. And uh, everybodyaccept that is for Bill, who's an
(21:11):
eight hundred pound turtle. Yeah,so uh he rides up front. He's
not wanted yet, so he's fine. Okay, he is not one of
the four who has been whom mybounty has been pretty cool? Has Jeff
just departed us at this point?Or Jeff for for my sanity? Let's
(21:32):
say yes, okay, yeah,we're like Jeff and just hey, Jeff,
take it easy, man, Um. I want to give Bill,
out of my disguise, kid,a fake mustache. Turtles have mustaches?
Can they mustaches? What about it? Like a like a I was thinking
like a little ribbon mask, maybeorange or purple, little eye slots.
(21:59):
Next we're fighting, Yes, okayfor now, just like a nice mustache.
Keeps leaning over to the driver andcurling it and goes, I must
ask you a question. Oh wow, I'm hilling classic middle age mut But
(22:22):
before we get into these crates,can I propose a weapon exchange to Bill?
Yes, I say, Bill,that uh that vampire bat that we
gave you, Babe, Bill,Can I have the bat? And I
need it for? What? Areyou gonna hurt somebody? Not yet,
(22:45):
mate, but if we get attacked, I need it. Sweet. And
then I look at Attilius and I'dsay, I said, Attilius, Wow,
well yeah, I mean that iswhat I do now. But I
want to tell you us to havethis one, and I hand you the
snail flail that we got from Axainador. But I'm gonna I'm gonna keep this
(23:07):
one, and I pull the rockband out, like wait, wait,
did you get that? I gotit out of your pocket? Mike?
You did? You? Did yougo through my pockets while I was unconscious?
Yes? I thought we would discuss. Yes, she was looking for
(23:30):
that's not a health potion? Though, why did you in the battle felt
like I might need to shape shiftsome stone to keep everybody alive. Oh,
so you're saying I couldn't do thatyou were unconscious. Fair enough,
I'll tell you what. I'll holdon to it for you. Yes,
please do that. Now that I'mawake and apparently can't hold it on my
(23:51):
own, you go ahead and holdit for me. Look, I'm giving
you the snail flail. Enjoy it. Yeah, out of the guilt that
you stole the other object from me. Go leans down and open the little
window and he goes tillious, stiffup a lip and he like pointed his
lips, getting Harry back there,and he closed it. He goes,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, sorry, Bill get an inspiration? Yeah,
(24:14):
that's really good. All right,we're good. Okay, So we're escaping
the city. Where are we going? Where is I talk? I'm gonna
ask this question fifteen times LinkedIn andfucking um David, where are these motherfuckers?
Was in Falcoon last you saw himhis city the bone city by people,
(24:37):
right, being mobbed by people,Um Davic. A little reminder you
strongly suspect is on the Corlean Aislesbecause you found a coin from the Corlean
Aisles, which was Lady Terros' islike, oh yes, I've got that
in my possession. Yes, he'sjust hogging up all the goods, aren't
you. Are we going back toour old stomping grounds. I go to
(25:03):
the Corley and Aisles, you wouldgo south through? Yeah? Oh yeah,
hell yeah, let's do it.Um. I want to leave those
we need to cheek out though.I want to leave a note. I
was gonna say, I want toleave a note for Lindsay's dad basically right,
yes, let's thanking him for thehospitality. Wonderful, And I want
(25:25):
to attach our business plan for thePhoenix in on the on the note.
You're soliciting investors. I'm just I'mjust It's just I just want to ask
him business. Remember, look,we've gone through plenty t yeh up,
like one time I sleep like threenights in a row, end up a
(25:47):
trapuse yes, yes, let's goto the next taven trap turtle traphouse.
But there's plenty of yeah. Yeah. So just just a nice note thanking
him and the business plan for Phoenix. All right, and now a word
from our sponsors. Who wants togo Wars? I fucked up? Yeah
no, I think I think we'redoing it out of here. Yeah.
(26:18):
So this past holiday season, youguys, where did you get a lot
of your gifts? Uh? Well, Little Wars actually where I got the
sweet DND sleep thing. He didnotice that your character sheets are in that
pol Yeah. Yeah, finally finallyremember my spell cards. You can also
buy a Little Wars. Yeah.My brother is actually really big into random
tabletop games, and I found acouple of new ones from him, like
(26:41):
what is it Betrail at Balder's Gate, which sounds really fun to universe technic
the India Universe. The only uh, it takes a little while to set
up, but boys are worth it. Really a good payoff. And then
a couple of my other friends arereally into painting those miniatures, So I
got them like a couple of giftsarts to like, go in get some
(27:02):
that's cool. We should get someminiatures for us and we can have them
on the table. Like. It'sa great idea about a Blood Bowl season
two booklet, because Blood bowls incredible, and actually Little Wars has like probably
legitimately one of the best Blood Bowlcommunities in the entire country, if that
sounds like some of you be into. They have like thirty two person leagues
that you can go play in,super super fun. In general, they
(27:23):
have fantasy It is fantasy football wherethe fantasy is you know, your goblins
and orcs and towards me, veryvery tactical, the most rage inducing game
I've ever played in my entire life. Well, in general, Little Wars
has an amazing community, not notjust Blood Bowl. I mean the staff
there is also super helpful whenever youwalk in, just like, hey,
(27:47):
can we help you find a game? Like what are you looking for?
Yeah, So they're they're really great, easy to kind of dive into exactly
what you might be interested in.It's not clicky like a lot of those
stores are. And if you haven'tbeen in the Little Wars in a few
years. Like before Vanning them tookit overhead a little bit of them.
Van just completely turned it around.It's such here. It's not like a
(28:07):
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Hidden Gems right off of Jefferson Highwayin Baton Rouge. Find them on Instagram
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checking them out. Thanks to LittleWars for being a sponsor of the Night
Shift who thanks a Little Wars loveyou. Welcome the Iron House Cookball.
(28:32):
Turn them on up necks. Wehave the night Shift perennial losers. You
know, their legs have gotten stronger, their hearts have grown three times the
size, and they appear to beokay. Well, let's take a little
break, ladies and gentle bat andwe'll be back in five. Yeahs,
feel a little stronger since the lasttime we leveled up, even though it's
(28:53):
been a little while. Wow.Wow, hey Bill, great job out
there, man, you really uhwell, I know you didn't get on
base today, but your effort wasastounding. Great job, Bill. People
kept telling me that I was Iwas, I was never gonna get to
third base, and I, um, I didn't know. You didn't.
How did you miss that ball?I can't it right to you? I
(29:14):
mean, right, gee, Imight as well use you as the ball
next. To be fair, I'mabout the size of the ball and you
kicked it. Next time you climbup on attilius as is that legal?
We look in the room. Justpour me a drink. Okay, whatever,
Well, I'm so angry right now. My good friends over at rally
Cap took the liberty of brewing usa beer named after something that will never
(29:40):
truly understand, and that is VictoryFormation. And there's some assessment to be
some sort of runic symbols of somesort from these cans. Well, yes,
uh, the good news is ahazy i PA eight percent alcohol by
a volume. Victory Formation is verytasty, even though we'll never really understand
(30:03):
what it's like. Hey, it'sa fifteen to zero. Okay, y'all,
let's get free. They don't havea chance for sure. It's a
perfect sports brew. Yes, yeah, quench the first I reckon when I
crank out my Dingers. I canjust trot around the base path and watch
it with the Dingers. This isthe family sport. We don't want to
(30:25):
fucking love American football. I getit now. It's like I can read
the room just football man. Fuck. Yeah, this is actually great.
Something happened. It's all bumpa overthere. Yeah, delicious beer. Pelican
Craft Brands distributes this throughout the GreaterLouisiana area. Always a fan of bringing
(30:49):
delicious craft beer to the people.To take notes of citrus. It's quite
delicious. Various stute over there,sisterly only she worked on her kickball skills
like she's been working on her beers. Tom's fault, he missed the ball,
messed the ball. You know thegame works. Why would you kicking
(31:11):
away on the field. Alright,get your asses back on the field.
Let's miss. Here's what we're gonnado on the way out. We're gonna
roll stealth checks. All four ofyou playing D and D. That don't
(31:41):
sound good? Yeah all right,nope, t Bob, Bob, you
go first and we'll go around thetable. Eight O nine oh one.
(32:01):
I love it. We're just sittingunderneath a blanket, like clearly it's just
people sitting under a blanket. Ithink you guys get a couple of streets
over. But Bill keeps opening thewindow to tell jokes to empty carriage,
(32:22):
and you guys keep laughing and thankinghim for the jokes jokes. You're killing
you, Bill, You're killing it. You guys. People start drawing to
the like wagon as it's sort ofin quote unquote traffic. Um. And
(32:42):
eventually someone stops, uh, Billand the the attendant that Lord Cocrus set
to do this job. Bill sortof like knocks on the wood just and
that's it. And you guys kindof kind of hear that someone is talking
to them. I don't know thatyou can hear exactly what's being said.
(33:06):
Do you want to do anything?I think we I think we need to
be quiet right now. We needto be quiet. Lessons learned from Smirk
and the and the wagon train.I suppose, yeah, that'll be a
plan number one. I mean,you want to do the exploding chicken thing.
You guys want time last time.Look if we if that's what we
(33:29):
need to do, that's what we'lldo. Um. I think what you
can here is when the back doorsopen at the carriage and someone you can
hear a voice go, well,well, what what are you shipping?
And goes, well, no,no, no, no, we just
dropped off the we dropped the thingsoff we so we're not shipping anything.
We're going back to the place thatwe originated from with the shipping um.
(33:55):
So you know, you can seethere's nothing here, like you hear the
guy's footsteps and he starts kind oflike stomping on the boards right above your
head. Well, I heard noisesfor sure. There's nobody in here though,
And you say you do that,No, goes nope, just just
(34:22):
me and you and this magnificent mustache. All right, Well, you know,
get where you're going. And hejumps out of the back, still
goes to close the door and goescloses the door, gets back in,
and you keep going. Great job, Bill, all right, dumb shut.
(34:45):
I'm proud of him. I mean, he really seems way more confident
now. I think he should justkeep that there. Mustache is like a
plus three to confident charisma. Yeah, it's grizzly gets plus three. A
really good job Bill. Okay,so we're gonna get to the gates.
(35:07):
We're gonna do stealth checks again,easy money. Had you passed, we
wouldn't have done this again. I'mdoing this one. Do better or not?
All right? Get bad rolls outof where are Yeah? All right?
Deepop starts off eleven nineteen. Hey, not sex again? All right?
(35:37):
I think I fell asleep snoring.Yeah, I was quiet. I
think it's a group that's probably goodenough. Um, there's a there's a
moment where Kestrol is clearly about tosneeze, but Attilius h makes a noise
and sort of throws his voice.He didn't even know he could do that.
(35:58):
He just a moment of moment ofpanic, um and somehow pulls it
off. So go outside the gates, get far enough that um, Bill
hops out, comes out and kindof opens up these these false doors.
Oh my gosh. That was Itwas invigorated. This is this is like
the best adventure we've had yet.It's it's a it's a great adventure.
(36:19):
You're going a little harry there,didn't it? Yeah? It was,
it was good. I'm feeling nervousnow now that the moment has passed.
Time, starting to feel like theadrenaline is going away, and I'm starting
to get higher shaky, yeah,shaky good, a lot of endorphins.
I don't know what that means,but yes, definitely. I didn't know
what space was either, So allright, by away, keep the mustache
(36:44):
on if you want it, doesn'tneed to go back in my kid.
He's sort of like grabs the endsof it's okay, yeah, we're all
right. Um just picturing a turtlewith the mustache right now, Great that
a turtle wax. Ye oh waysomebody, No, No, that's where
(37:12):
we had it, right, That'swhere we're ahead. Let's go okay,
okay, are we riding in thewagon up front? What? Yea in
the wagon? Yeah? We arevery well aware that we are wanted people
at this point in time. Sothe plan is like stay in the back
and then if you hear somebody,maybe you get back in those hidden compartments.
(37:34):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Okay, we're gonna say more or less
passes without insta uh you know,maybe some tiny, some small situations where
you you gotta crawl back in yourcompartments. But is it a multi day
drive. It's it's like a singleday drive. Yeah, like the whole
day though, Bill and uh,this attendant go through straight and then when
you guys get there, Bill comesand grabs you. The attendant sort of
(37:58):
waves you by and immediately kind ofkicks his way back through. Was his
name? He's on Instagram. Wehaven't been talking to him yet. Good.
I wish you would just not talkto im. Man. Thanks,
thank you for the ride. Yeah, some way, so he drops us
off and we don't have a carriageanymore. Correct, It was great.
(38:21):
You never had a carrot. We'vehad a few carriages in one man or
another. Could we have gone tothe man's. Yeah, we did steal
that person's carriage at one time.We should be staying at the man home.
Let's go wait, hold on,yeah, we could actually do something
valuable probably at the man's. Shouldwe go check in though on Phoenix In
(38:45):
and Badger while we're here, Well, I think we should probably go down
to the docks to see if wecan secure a vessel that will take us
to where Davic is. Okay,which happens to be right next to order
the Phoenix in. Right the docks, you can get there very quickly,
(39:05):
right, Okay? Do you wantto do vessel first then then in?
Yes? Okay? Cool? Allright, so you're gonna go to the
docks? Are we very wanted innest David as well, it's all the
whole country. Everybody's looking. Iwanted to go over the plan of the
docks. Then you're gonna go tothe end that everyone knows you own secure?
(39:28):
That does everyone really know? Westart of putting the flag out?
Why are you speaking logical to us? You know that's not how this team
works. Okay, well then honestly, no, okay, that's right,
So that guy should bring us tothe docks. Well, go to the
phoenix in and remember the guy thatwe purchase the phoenix in for us and
is managing right now that the duckand cover cover which we really can't go
(39:54):
there. Well, it know wherewe planning on hiring Badger? You wanted
to hire him? Oh okay,we never agreed. Okay, okay,
remember that, yes, big fatguy. No, well that's a different
blurban blurban Monty is the person who'rethinking about, who's the bar owner of
play aren't down? Before the poxwas a thought? Was a gleam in
(40:17):
your eyes? Sore partners with him? Now, I don't know if this
phoenix In plans good idea? Wellyou don't think Monty could go to the
docks for us and see if wecan get a vessel. That way you
can do with some investigating or whosays Monty won't cash in on the bounty
on our heads? Because why don'twe go and see if we can get
pen to do these things? Ohdude, And that sounds pretty appealing because
(40:42):
then we can just stay in theman's Ma's not there, hey, nameless
in PC turn that thing around.By no, he's gone. You see
it's through the lab of the fieldplace. Where are you going? Well,
(41:05):
shit, do we have to walkto the man's Now we could go
We could go through that through thefire swamp or whatever and uh in the
bathway? Yeah, thank thank you. The snap get some more like blinding
mushrooms and stuff. Yeah, wedon't even need to go to this nag
because it's not anywhere close to thewell. We need to stay off the
(41:29):
main room. Sure there's bounties onour there. That was the secret entrance
into the man's um. Yeah,bro, And I'm sure there's like some
intel on Davoc in there. Whatif he has a bunch of math and
space stuff there though, we canlook at that actually is true. Right,
(41:53):
I'm not opposed to this. Wedon't have to go through the snagmire.
But my fear is if we justare on the main road, down
the main road to the man's,we're gonna get spot with a giant turtle.
I'm pretty common now when you returnin a video game to land those
kind of intimidated firstment. Now we'relike super badass ye werena, Yeah,
we know what you guys have leveledlike one whole time. Hey, that's
(42:17):
on me. We are going,yeah, okay, good plan. So
what's doing to go to the man's? That's the whole play through the snagmire
back life. Who will procure usa vessel and we're looking for math and
space stuff in we'll do some ofthe investigating once we're in the man's.
(42:42):
Yes, shot it um okay.Let's also what was our what was our
friend in the snack Bier's name?We should bring him something? What do
we give him? Last time?I gave him some of the magic stones
cast magic stones. M kind ofgotta took advantage of what you believe to
(43:07):
be a subpar intelligence there. Iwouldn't say she's assuming he can only yell
his name. Yeah, okay,wow, like a Pokemon Pokemon all right.
Uh, if the plan is togo through the secret bag back interest
(43:27):
of the snack bar, you guysalready done that twice. I would say
we can skip the whole like it'srolling for mushrooms and all that stuff.
You guys are experts at this atthis point, can I gather some of
the blinding mushrooms? Nature? Jack? That's a one, But I'm lucky,
lucky lucky. That's a two.All right, Tom blinds himself for
(44:04):
don't you remember, Like I'll beyour eyes everything these mushrooms. Everything feels
so crazy, not even that kindof mush just be weird. You feel
amazing. It's true what they saywhen you go blind, all your other
senses get heightened. I need anadult, all right, So you guys
(44:24):
get into the man's um pen isnowhere to be seen. However, there
is quite a bit of like thingsin the man's Like there's lots of like
are there any guards like outside,like on the grounds, like roaming around
your people walking around. I don'tknow that you would know that until you
(44:46):
remember this. Back entrance emerges frombehind a painting inside the house. Um
but like, as you approach thispainting, you can hear people, maybe
not in that room, but likethere's people in the house for sure.
Okay, aren't even singing singing?No, no singing, not singing.
Okay, So this painting opens intolike a dining room of sorts. Um,
(45:16):
what do you want to do whenwe get insighed? Did you we
go to Derek's room? Shoud wego back to the blood dungeon catching a
hamstring? Crap? No, that'sthe worst. I want to leave all
(45:39):
of this. Listeners, this isreal. Oh gosh, I know you
gotta high rate man, you gottadrink water. Water, I'm not I
(46:08):
love mushroom. He's blind and hehas hamstream crams. Okay, so unless
there's any objections, we're gonna usethat. Yeah. Absolutely, tons behind
the painting and just starts he likestarts jumping on one foot and falls through
(46:34):
the painting. It swings open,and he's still like he's completely unaware of
everything around him. He's just screaminghe needs water. And then by having
mushrooms fucked him up together caught betweenlike, oh god, we should be
(46:57):
quiet, and this is the funniestthing I've ever seen I'm just like,
this is hysterical in your mouth.Don't what's happening to this fella? I
like your hamstring, your ass,no kind of stunning lack of knowledge about
sports and basic sports. It's justyou. You know this about you is
(47:29):
that entire big muscle back there byyour ass in the cyst neck is almost
your face. The hamsdring does connectyour ass. You're on that and hams
and ask muscles do a lot together. There was a reference in it and
(47:50):
ted lass. Oh my god,okay, boys, did I are people
coming in the room. There's acrowd now gathered at the door. Somebody
get him a banana? He lookedconfused, but someone does toss a banana.
(48:17):
Checks when you're ready pick up thatguitar. So yeah, oh no
we have Are you ready? Fourteen? Yea ten, ten nine? Okay.
So I think Tom and Kestrel arethe ones that pick up on the
(48:45):
sort of piratey vibe that we gotgoing here. Um, the crowd by
the door very much a scene outof Pirates of the Caribbean, because I
watched that recently. Layer like notaddressing like his livery or anything like that,
like David No, no, verymuch dressed in their own clothing,
(49:07):
still um and that they're kind ofmuttering and some people behind them are kind
of yelling. But that's that's thething you pick up immediately. What do
we want to do in the meantime? Now you're made? How are you
faring over here? What to beyou doing? Hair? You did this?
(49:30):
I just remember you did this.The crowd parts and I'm gonna turn
back. Drew be like and wecover up my ear. I cover up
my eye next time on night shift. Relatively young looking, half off sort
(49:52):
of parts at the crowd. He'she's dressing sort of pirate garb, you
know, a few layers and he'sgot a trick corner hat on every Thanks.
Hey, who the fuck is you? Why? Why are you here?
I recommend we are? Are youtalking like that? We be doing
the same thing you'll be doing here.
The Night Shift is a real playD and D video and podcast series for
mature audiences. Content warnings can befound in the episode descriptions Last Home on
the Night Shift. All right,so you wave it in the air.
Yeah, it's just as the dustis sort of settling back down and you
can sort of see all these peoplethat you wave this wand and a spray
(00:23):
of liquid just sort of flings inall directions. We'll find out what happens
next session. Oh shit, Ican't scrape together gold. My souls already
sold. Swim you trapped a dspell. I wish you well, diver
(00:44):
creat your own your streets. Youdo better to retreats if you want it
done right, don't huh? Anight Shift. A pitched battle has begun
between the hedges outside the Troubridge Estate. Bolts, arrows and spells flit back
(01:06):
and forth between the two sides,a dangerous exchange of metal and magic.
It's being said that the outlaws whokilled Eccenator al Firing and attacked Gernich LinkedIn
are now assailing Sir Aldis Strowbridge andthe good people of the HedgeLand Shops.
A young woman crawls behind the counterof her apothecary's shop, a bolt sticking
out of her leg, blood smearingacross her white marble floor. This neighborhood
(01:33):
hasn't seen violence like this in decades, much less. With the sun high
in the sky still, she seesthe tall half eleven woman begged for peace
twice, but to no avail.She's sobbing now, taking deep, heaving
breaths, and then looks up tosee the tealhaired druid woman point a wand
in her direction as the kicked updust around her dissipates an acrid smell a
(01:59):
company these the toxin that emits fromthe tip of the wand it lands amongst
the mercenaries, on her roof andon others, and the strumming of bowstring
ceases from moment, replaced by thegroans of grown men and women writhing in
place. So castro, you're gonnaroll four D twelve as a poison spread.
(02:23):
She's just biowarfared and people biological warfare. Also, why did you laugh
the bark with the health felin womanlike dragging herself across the at It was
it was about the part of thetale about how this part of town hadn't
(02:46):
seen these sorts of violent delights andin decades, and then like picturing this
woman with the bolting her leg it'sfunny. I got it. Yeah,
we did that. We did that, We did that. That was usulve
(03:07):
four died twelve, man, Ithink I've got died twelve. Is the
one that has a twelve on it? Thank you? I got that borrows
the wow, so many of youpeople giving me dice. Thank you our
powers combined. Yes, you willroll that one does have a twelve on
(03:28):
it. Still on forty eight.This one is legit. You all right,
I'm rolling them. Roll it yeah, eleven, ten, six,
six, okay, okay, thatplus rolls on the whole. So two
(03:51):
of those people's groans stop, Ohmy god. Two of the others um
continue groaning and do not pick uptheir loss bow or bow and arrow again.
So four people just out of commission, out of how many hard to
say. We kind of discussed thisin the previous session. You're you've got
(04:12):
hedges all along one side of theroad, well both sides of the road,
but then shops on the other side, and these mercenaries or bounty hunters
or wherever they are they're they're duckedamongst both the hedges and the shops,
mainly on the roofs of the shops. Um and you you keep finding new
ones, but you're not exactly surewhat the total count is. Ok and
(04:33):
uh, there's more where that camefrom. The guys, what did I
just do? I think there's likestuff coming out of this one. It's
really gross, smells bad. Yeah, it's nasty. Okay, I'm stop.
(04:53):
We'll run into the carriage. Rememberhow I had to set a quota
on fart jokes? Yeah? Whydo I have to be knocked out this
time? I know you want sodesperately to be able to make a joke
orchestral. Get aboard. Let's go, all right, So Jeff and Jeff
and Bill are in the carriage,right and as it's rolling away? Yeah,
(05:14):
yeah, yeah, absolutely, yeah, Jeff's driving. Okay. See
I wasn't gonna do it before,but now roll athletics. You couldn't just
get into damn carriage. You hadto dive in and say I do my
own stunts roll roll acrobatics athletics.I hope you fail. Oh God,
(05:39):
I hope you fail. I wanta wheel to run over your rest.
No, she just wanted to.She wants to shows her cool moves.
Uh nine, all you get in. It's not as graceful as you'd like.
She goes to swan dive, butshe doesn't jump quite far enough.
(06:00):
Her hands get inside the door,and you guys are like, oh god.
Her smash against the back and herlegs are kind of dragging on the
ground. It feels like it feelslike Tebup wants you to experience. You
got okay, I'm in. Um, you get in the carriage. Someone
slams the door shut. I assumeyeah, where we headed? Bill leans
(06:23):
leans down, opens like a limousinedoor separator thing before here, and goes,
where are we going? Just gogo just just okay, any anywhere,
Jeff, anywhere We're going anywhere.Get out of here. We gotta
get out. We gotta get offof this fucking street. You can hear
Jeff just cursing to himself. Okay. Several minutes pass, I'm just I'm
(06:44):
just driving. Um, Well,y'all, you're gonna have to plan where
to Yeah, yeah, yeah,you two are the only ones conscious Castrol
and Timbo, so yeah, wecan probably fix that with the benefit of
several minutes. Where are we going? Um, we're gonna try and get
out of the city. Should wego back to the cocust out of the
(07:08):
well, maybe my my father doeshave resources, Maybe he could somehow smuggle
us out. Yeah, I feellike we are. Yeah. If I
feel like if we go to thecity gates, we're gonna have a hard
time getting out right now. Yeah, they still have it lockdown pretty tight.
All right, my father's estate,and then we'll get these two knuckles.
(07:29):
That's got to be priority number oneis getting them back conscious. Uh
yeah, okay to the right.I think we've already firmly established that their
ouse. Yeah. Cool. Infact, I think when you pull up
the guard that uh that Tom hadpreviously tried to impress with Spider Man a
carriage, um recognizes you, goesahead and waves and closes the gate behind
(07:56):
you, etc. So you getout. You're at the pool house of
the cocuyst Is she worried about methe garden? I think it was she
worried about me. I don't thinkshe she knows she's driving. She sees
me and take them out of thegarriage, and they when she sees them
take me out probably Do you wantme to say yes, Yeah, she's
uh, she's very worried. Yeah, I saw a single tear who rolls
(08:20):
down her face? H Yeah,Can I ask you a question? Yeah?
What's her name? Her name?Yeah, what's her name? That's
what I thought. Let's move backAngela, Angela so well, yeah,
so far away? All right,okay, point taking, but you know
(08:41):
what, she still sheds out here. She cares a lot more about you
going out stadium, just one thumbsup? Love it? Okay? Uh?
Size. I presume you get carriedinside the poolhouse, which you guys
have made your temporary Yeah, yep, what's next? Um, well,
(09:07):
there's gotta be like healing potions.Yeah, there's gotta be yeah, healing
potions in the poolhouse. Yeah,in the poolhouse, specifically the poolhouse,
wouldn't I mean so turtle jelly orsomething, chriss. Children running around by
the pool side and they slip andskin their knees. Oh, sort of
a first aid kid. Yeah,absolutely, let's say yes, I don't.
I don't. I don't care enoughto fight you on it before the
(09:31):
first aid kid, before we arouseattilius rouse. We don't want to arouse
yeah, please don't. I'd justbe really let me, let me restate.
I don't want to him. Youdo whatever you want. He is
my head or life. Wake thatdragon. Now I'm gonna dig into his
(09:52):
pockets and it's gonna get really weird. I uh, I want to.
I want to. I want totake the rock band uh that we had
gotten from Exenador. Um, we'll, dude, I'll, i'll Yeah,
I'm gonna steal it from him whilehe's unconscious. Yeah, what a friend?
(10:16):
But all right, what a friend? Do you jump my pocket as
well? Do you want him to? Yeah? Oh wow, you probably
found that healing posh I have inmy pockets. True, it's true because
we actually have a dialogue about thisin the last session where he was like,
yeah, I know it's there,but I feel like I wouldn't check
(10:37):
that. But he's totally fine checking. Yeah, nice l I would have
probably given it. Okay, sowe wake the others up. Yeah,
let's do that. Okay with thefirst aid? What where? Where?
Where? Where are we? Where? What is orchestrals are we have back
(11:00):
at the pool? Yes, we'reback at the poolhouse. Um, that
did not go well. That didnot go well. At all, and
for some reason, this wand hasacid spray coming out of it. We
all should have seen it. Theblue Ghost came back with another wand.
Yes, indeed there was another oneof those projections. It was weird.
(11:24):
Did your hand and do the hurtingthing when you got closer and closer?
Did it? Yes? Yes,yes it did. Yeah it must have.
Yes, I know your remember didyou did? Did you do you
think it was Zenador or somehow connectedtoo? Probably I'm assuming it's one of
(11:48):
his wands. Again, I'll remindyou that you tried to get it to
play charades but it couldn't okay,Yeah, well he wasn't very good at
charades. One word, two words, the sharad did not work and the
um are we should we be herethough? Aren't we just going to get
attacked here now? And get yourdad? Jeff drove us fast enough to
(12:13):
where we didn't get followed, butwe couldn't very well be smuggled out of
the city with you too unconscious,so we hadn't fair enough? Is it
rat? Since time? Is ittime to go back to the sewers?
Get out of here? Smells downthere, mate, it's awful. It
might be only escape, and there'sno hot shower waiting on the other end
(12:35):
either. Well might be the ticket, though I can't think of anything else.
I'm pretty sure we're not gonna getthrough the gates. No, no,
no, uh, custra, whatdo you think your father might have
a way out of the city.Yeah, I wasn ask um I walk
out of the poolhouse. Um,kind of lean over the wall and or
(12:56):
your father striding towards the pool.I was going to talk to one of
the guards. Okay, I'm gonnalike look over his shoulder and be like
he's doing like a like a freedad. He does not look happy,
yes, actually looks pissed. Yep, he does look a little pissed.
But when he gets with like threefeet away from you, he goes no
hell and pulls you into There werearrows all over the carriage. I didn't
(13:18):
know what had happened. Are youokay? And he like sort of like
looks you over and there's no holesin you, So he's like, okay,
are your friends? Okay? Fine, I could use a beverage.
Who assaulted you? Who did youassault? Did you assault someone? No?
It wasn't me this time. Okay, we're good tried to stop it.
Dad, like I was not,you know, I was like,
(13:41):
hey, peace, you know that'sso unlike I know, well there was
a lot of them. I wasn'tsure we were going to be able to
get away without you know, urgingsome kind of piece who did attack us.
Were they were their mercenaries? Yes, it did seem that way.
Yes, so bounty hunters. Yes, I got a missive um in the
(14:05):
study half an hour ago. TheCouncil to the King's Veins, the Council
to the Kings, um, puta bounty on your head each that's an
official sort of state bounty. Councilof the Kings. What Council of the
(14:26):
King's Veins? So the Council ofthe Kings Veins, you guys would know
this. It's there's two kings andit follows the bloodline male or female.
Um, And so there's a councilto those two kings. It's composed of
well, previously seven people, butex Senator was one of them, so
now six people. Um, youknow personally one of them Sir Agash Boulderspin,
(14:50):
who's the great thing of the Dwarfs. M he's one of the council
members. Find the one that wemet under the mountain. That's correct,
Yeah, right, interesting, Yes, I did something a little investigating.
I thought you'd be proud. Um. There were two votes against it,
(15:11):
so Sir Boulder Dash and Lady Bixonstar Helm. Do you know her?
Lady? Who know Bixon star Holm. She's a halfling last no fierce woman.
Um, I'm intrigued. But ifshe you know, she voted against
it. I was a little curiousabout that. Loose her name again,
(15:31):
Lady Bixon star Holm, Buxom starHolm. I believe my God should have
seen that coming, Bixon Starholm.And where is she? Where could we
find her? It's Bison star Him. You don't know, I haven't heard
that anyfore, asking name Papa.Oh oh, like I said, half
(15:58):
Lane. She's from the Aisles ofAlvos originally, but the aisles of Albost.
We sent someone there, didn't we, pretty Yes, the princess and
what's Greg? Greg? Get it? They came through it must have gotten
miss to miss Bucks them homeboy.Yeah, what's his face? Drunkard?
(16:22):
Oh Man haslet yep? Jim hasit right, Lindsay, Yep, that's
it. Such a classic Lindsay referenceclassic sports reference. Wait what Yeah,
I mean, don't don't worry.Probably a lot of people that don't know
who the fuck Jim has it is, Saints head coach, no his last
(16:52):
names. That was the only reference. Um hmm, I think she was
swayed by this um these friends ofyours. Yes, yes, Greg's a
great guy, he too is Greg. How would Greg sway lady? S
Well, okay, it's probably notGreg. It's probably the princess. And
(17:15):
uh and Zedric Haslett who's an asher? Yes, I know of Edric Listle.
I think he was an asher.M how do you unbecome an asher?
Well? I think he's mostly inhis cups these days. Mm.
Well, yeah, he likes coffee, I mean he does. That is
(17:37):
also true. He does like coffee. Speaking of he sort of waves his
hand and attend it comes ever withcoffee. And two, Dan, we
need to get out of here sosoon. You just you just got here,
I know, but we have amission wanted. We don't want your
home to be destroyed or attacked.And they will eventually come for us.
(18:00):
Oh uh okay, what they're away. You can get us out of the
city. We need to get outof dragons beer. Um, you mean
like surreptitiously. Yes, I believe. I don't think we're just gonna walk
through the gates. H sub diffuseis not my main skill set. As
(18:22):
you know. What if we hadlike a big card, you can ask
mom hit under the leaks familiar.She's just really good sneaking. Um,
I feel like we should talk aboutyou should talk about this. It's a
weird way about what you saw.No, um So, time for luscious
(18:48):
leaks come back? Huh card cardfull leaks? Um So? We we
sometimes get shipments of imported materials,as you know, silk and things.
Uh. Perhaps we could hide youin the bottom on the way out.
Yes, yes, I like thatbetter than the sewers, the sewers,
(19:11):
your daughters sewers. When you firstfound a rat did you know that rat
sense is a real thing? It'scrazy, you know, just now just
realize that was the thing. Yes, it is. It's not a D
and D mechanic, but it isa real than it is speaking of that
(19:37):
looks really good? What rat CeNSEis real? Rat Sense was a company
that I googled and I did nottell you otherwise. I thought, Okay,
now I feel betrayed away. Youshould betrayed. Okay, let me
arrange that. Um, I'll loopyour mother since she's since she's so good
(20:03):
at being sneaky, you know,planning your birthday parties, things like that.
Good saved. Yeah, I see, I thought you meant never never
mind, I'm gonna go. I'mgonna go get your mother. And he
walks off. Uh. Let's let'ssay you've taken showers. Um, the
(20:26):
point that everybody is like healed,let's say yes, sweet cool, okay,
healed spells are back. Blah blahblah blah blah. Yeah, long
rest, everybody, goody swagon comesin, they offload, uh silks and
other imported materials. Um. Andthen you guys have basically laid down in
(20:47):
these long crates individually. We rollup in like carpets like Cleopatra, O,
you laid down in long crates Orchestralwho's wrapped up in a carpet for
some reason, um Jesus and umand stuck into like a false bottom of
the wagon. And uh, everybodyaccept that is for Bill, who's an
(21:11):
eight hundred pound turtle. Yeah,so uh he rides up front. He's
not wanted yet, so he's fine. Okay, he is not one of
the four who has been whom mybounty has been pretty cool? Has Jeff
just departed us at this point?Or Jeff for for my sanity? Let's
(21:32):
say yes, okay, yeah,we're like Jeff and just hey, Jeff,
take it easy, man, Um. I want to give Bill,
out of my disguise, kid,a fake mustache. Turtles have mustaches?
Can they mustaches? What about it? Like a like a I was thinking
like a little ribbon mask, maybeorange or purple, little eye slots.
(21:59):
Next we're fighting, Yes, okayfor now, just like a nice mustache.
Keeps leaning over to the driver andcurling it and goes, I must
ask you a question. Oh wow, I'm hilling classic middle age mut But
(22:22):
before we get into these crates,can I propose a weapon exchange to Bill?
Yes, I say, Bill,that uh that vampire bat that we
gave you, Babe, Bill,Can I have the bat? And I
need it for? What? Areyou gonna hurt somebody? Not yet,
(22:45):
mate, but if we get attacked, I need it. Sweet. And
then I look at Attilius and I'dsay, I said, Attilius, Wow,
well yeah, I mean that iswhat I do now. But I
want to tell you us to havethis one, and I hand you the
snail flail that we got from Axainador. But I'm gonna I'm gonna keep this
(23:07):
one, and I pull the rockband out, like wait, wait,
did you get that? I gotit out of your pocket? Mike?
You did? You? Did yougo through my pockets while I was unconscious?
Yes? I thought we would discuss. Yes, she was looking for
(23:30):
that's not a health potion? Though, why did you in the battle felt
like I might need to shape shiftsome stone to keep everybody alive. Oh,
so you're saying I couldn't do thatyou were unconscious. Fair enough,
I'll tell you what. I'll holdon to it for you. Yes,
please do that. Now that I'mawake and apparently can't hold it on my
(23:51):
own, you go ahead and holdit for me. Look, I'm giving
you the snail flail. Enjoy it. Yeah, out of the guilt that
you stole the other object from me. Go leans down and open the little
window and he goes tillious, stiffup a lip and he like pointed his
lips, getting Harry back there,and he closed it. He goes,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, sorry, Bill get an inspiration? Yeah,
(24:14):
that's really good. All right,we're good. Okay, So we're escaping
the city. Where are we going? Where is I talk? I'm gonna
ask this question fifteen times LinkedIn andfucking um David, where are these motherfuckers?
Was in Falcoon last you saw himhis city the bone city by people,
(24:37):
right, being mobbed by people,Um Davic. A little reminder you
strongly suspect is on the Corlean Aislesbecause you found a coin from the Corlean
Aisles, which was Lady Terros' islike, oh yes, I've got that
in my possession. Yes, he'sjust hogging up all the goods, aren't
you. Are we going back toour old stomping grounds. I go to
(25:03):
the Corley and Aisles, you wouldgo south through? Yeah? Oh yeah,
hell yeah, let's do it.Um. I want to leave those
we need to cheek out though.I want to leave a note. I
was gonna say, I want toleave a note for Lindsay's dad basically right,
yes, let's thanking him for thehospitality. Wonderful, And I want
(25:25):
to attach our business plan for thePhoenix in on the on the note.
You're soliciting investors. I'm just I'mjust It's just I just want to ask
him business. Remember, look,we've gone through plenty t yeh up,
like one time I sleep like threenights in a row, end up a
(25:47):
trapuse yes, yes, let's goto the next taven trap turtle traphouse.
But there's plenty of yeah. Yeah. So just just a nice note thanking
him and the business plan for Phoenix. All right, and now a word
from our sponsors. Who wants togo Wars? I fucked up? Yeah
no, I think I think we'redoing it out of here. Yeah.
(26:18):
So this past holiday season, youguys, where did you get a lot
of your gifts? Uh? Well, Little Wars actually where I got the
sweet DND sleep thing. He didnotice that your character sheets are in that
pol Yeah. Yeah, finally finallyremember my spell cards. You can also
buy a Little Wars. Yeah.My brother is actually really big into random
tabletop games, and I found acouple of new ones from him, like
(26:41):
what is it Betrail at Balder's Gate, which sounds really fun to universe technic
the India Universe. The only uh, it takes a little while to set
up, but boys are worth it. Really a good payoff. And then
a couple of my other friends arereally into painting those miniatures, So I
got them like a couple of giftsarts to like, go in get some
(27:02):
that's cool. We should get someminiatures for us and we can have them
on the table. Like. It'sa great idea about a Blood Bowl season
two booklet, because Blood bowls incredible, and actually Little Wars has like probably
legitimately one of the best Blood Bowlcommunities in the entire country, if that
sounds like some of you be into. They have like thirty two person leagues
that you can go play in,super super fun. In general, they
(27:23):
have fantasy It is fantasy football wherethe fantasy is you know, your goblins
and orcs and towards me, veryvery tactical, the most rage inducing game
I've ever played in my entire life. Well, in general, Little Wars
has an amazing community, not notjust Blood Bowl. I mean the staff
there is also super helpful whenever youwalk in, just like, hey,
(27:47):
can we help you find a game? Like what are you looking for?
Yeah, So they're they're really great, easy to kind of dive into exactly
what you might be interested in.It's not clicky like a lot of those
stores are. And if you haven'tbeen in the Little Wars in a few
years. Like before Vanning them tookit overhead a little bit of them.
Van just completely turned it around.It's such here. It's not like a
(28:07):
camp. You know. Sometimes youwalk in and you just feel like an
outsider. Not in the case atLittle Wars. One of Baton Rouge is
Hidden Gems right off of Jefferson Highwayin Baton Rouge. Find them on Instagram
at Little Wars br They've got aFacebook page as well. Make sure you're
checking them out. Thanks to LittleWars for being a sponsor of the Night
Shift who thanks a Little Wars loveyou. Welcome the Iron House Cookball.
(28:32):
Turn them on up necks. Wehave the night Shift perennial losers. You
know, their legs have gotten stronger, their hearts have grown three times the
size, and they appear to beokay. Well, let's take a little
break, ladies and gentle bat andwe'll be back in five. Yeahs,
feel a little stronger since the lasttime we leveled up, even though it's
(28:53):
been a little while. Wow.Wow, hey Bill, great job out
there, man, you really uhwell, I know you didn't get on
base today, but your effort wasastounding. Great job, Bill. People
kept telling me that I was Iwas, I was never gonna get to
third base, and I, um, I didn't know. You didn't.
How did you miss that ball?I can't it right to you? I
(29:14):
mean, right, gee, Imight as well use you as the ball
next. To be fair, I'mabout the size of the ball and you
kicked it. Next time you climbup on attilius as is that legal?
We look in the room. Justpour me a drink. Okay, whatever,
Well, I'm so angry right now. My good friends over at rally
Cap took the liberty of brewing usa beer named after something that will never
(29:40):
truly understand, and that is VictoryFormation. And there's some assessment to be
some sort of runic symbols of somesort from these cans. Well, yes,
uh, the good news is ahazy i PA eight percent alcohol by
a volume. Victory Formation is verytasty, even though we'll never really understand
(30:03):
what it's like. Hey, it'sa fifteen to zero. Okay, y'all,
let's get free. They don't havea chance for sure. It's a
perfect sports brew. Yes, yeah, quench the first I reckon when I
crank out my Dingers. I canjust trot around the base path and watch
it with the Dingers. This isthe family sport. We don't want to
(30:25):
fucking love American football. I getit now. It's like I can read
the room just football man. Fuck. Yeah, this is actually great.
Something happened. It's all bumpa overthere. Yeah, delicious beer. Pelican
Craft Brands distributes this throughout the GreaterLouisiana area. Always a fan of bringing
(30:49):
delicious craft beer to the people.To take notes of citrus. It's quite
delicious. Various stute over there,sisterly only she worked on her kickball skills
like she's been working on her beers. Tom's fault, he missed the ball,
messed the ball. You know thegame works. Why would you kicking
(31:11):
away on the field. Alright,get your asses back on the field.
Let's miss. Here's what we're gonnado on the way out. We're gonna
roll stealth checks. All four ofyou playing D and D. That don't
(31:41):
sound good? Yeah all right,nope, t Bob, Bob, you
go first and we'll go around thetable. Eight O nine oh one.
(32:01):
I love it. We're just sittingunderneath a blanket, like clearly it's just
people sitting under a blanket. Ithink you guys get a couple of streets
over. But Bill keeps opening thewindow to tell jokes to empty carriage,
(32:22):
and you guys keep laughing and thankinghim for the jokes jokes. You're killing
you, Bill, You're killing it. You guys. People start drawing to
the like wagon as it's sort ofin quote unquote traffic. Um. And
(32:42):
eventually someone stops, uh, Billand the the attendant that Lord Cocrus set
to do this job. Bill sortof like knocks on the wood just and
that's it. And you guys kindof kind of hear that someone is talking
to them. I don't know thatyou can hear exactly what's being said.
(33:06):
Do you want to do anything?I think we I think we need to
be quiet right now. We needto be quiet. Lessons learned from Smirk
and the and the wagon train.I suppose, yeah, that'll be a
plan number one. I mean,you want to do the exploding chicken thing.
You guys want time last time.Look if we if that's what we
(33:29):
need to do, that's what we'lldo. Um. I think what you
can here is when the back doorsopen at the carriage and someone you can
hear a voice go, well,well, what what are you shipping?
And goes, well, no,no, no, no, we just
dropped off the we dropped the thingsoff we so we're not shipping anything.
We're going back to the place thatwe originated from with the shipping um.
(33:55):
So you know, you can seethere's nothing here, like you hear the
guy's footsteps and he starts kind oflike stomping on the boards right above your
head. Well, I heard noisesfor sure. There's nobody in here though,
And you say you do that,No, goes nope, just just
(34:22):
me and you and this magnificent mustache. All right, Well, you know,
get where you're going. And hejumps out of the back, still
goes to close the door and goescloses the door, gets back in,
and you keep going. Great job, Bill, all right, dumb shut.
(34:45):
I'm proud of him. I mean, he really seems way more confident
now. I think he should justkeep that there. Mustache is like a
plus three to confident charisma. Yeah, it's grizzly gets plus three. A
really good job Bill. Okay,so we're gonna get to the gates.
(35:07):
We're gonna do stealth checks again,easy money. Had you passed, we
wouldn't have done this again. I'mdoing this one. Do better or not?
All right? Get bad rolls outof where are Yeah? All right?
Deepop starts off eleven nineteen. Hey, not sex again? All right?
(35:37):
I think I fell asleep snoring.Yeah, I was quiet. I
think it's a group that's probably goodenough. Um, there's a there's a
moment where Kestrol is clearly about tosneeze, but Attilius h makes a noise
and sort of throws his voice.He didn't even know he could do that.
(35:58):
He just a moment of moment ofpanic, um and somehow pulls it
off. So go outside the gates, get far enough that um, Bill
hops out, comes out and kindof opens up these these false doors.
Oh my gosh. That was Itwas invigorated. This is this is like
the best adventure we've had yet.It's it's a it's a great adventure.
(36:19):
You're going a little harry there,didn't it? Yeah? It was,
it was good. I'm feeling nervousnow now that the moment has passed.
Time, starting to feel like theadrenaline is going away, and I'm starting
to get higher shaky, yeah,shaky good, a lot of endorphins.
I don't know what that means,but yes, definitely. I didn't know
what space was either, So allright, by away, keep the mustache
(36:44):
on if you want it, doesn'tneed to go back in my kid.
He's sort of like grabs the endsof it's okay, yeah, we're all
right. Um just picturing a turtlewith the mustache right now, Great that
a turtle wax. Ye oh waysomebody, No, No, that's where
(37:12):
we had it, right, That'swhere we're ahead. Let's go okay,
okay, are we riding in thewagon up front? What? Yea in
the wagon? Yeah? We arevery well aware that we are wanted people
at this point in time. Sothe plan is like stay in the back
and then if you hear somebody,maybe you get back in those hidden compartments.
(37:34):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Okay, we're gonna say more or less
passes without insta uh you know,maybe some tiny, some small situations where
you you gotta crawl back in yourcompartments. But is it a multi day
drive. It's it's like a singleday drive. Yeah, like the whole
day though, Bill and uh,this attendant go through straight and then when
you guys get there, Bill comesand grabs you. The attendant sort of
(37:58):
waves you by and immediately kind ofkicks his way back through. Was his
name? He's on Instagram. Wehaven't been talking to him yet. Good.
I wish you would just not talkto im. Man. Thanks,
thank you for the ride. Yeah, some way, so he drops us
off and we don't have a carriageanymore. Correct, It was great.
(38:21):
You never had a carrot. We'vehad a few carriages in one man or
another. Could we have gone tothe man's. Yeah, we did steal
that person's carriage at one time.We should be staying at the man home.
Let's go wait, hold on,yeah, we could actually do something
valuable probably at the man's. Shouldwe go check in though on Phoenix In
(38:45):
and Badger while we're here, Well, I think we should probably go down
to the docks to see if wecan secure a vessel that will take us
to where Davic is. Okay,which happens to be right next to order
the Phoenix in. Right the docks, you can get there very quickly,
(39:05):
right, Okay? Do you wantto do vessel first then then in?
Yes? Okay? Cool? Allright, so you're gonna go to the
docks? Are we very wanted innest David as well, it's all the
whole country. Everybody's looking. Iwanted to go over the plan of the
docks. Then you're gonna go tothe end that everyone knows you own secure?
(39:28):
That does everyone really know? Westart of putting the flag out?
Why are you speaking logical to us? You know that's not how this team
works. Okay, well then honestly, no, okay, that's right,
So that guy should bring us tothe docks. Well, go to the
phoenix in and remember the guy thatwe purchase the phoenix in for us and
is managing right now that the duckand cover cover which we really can't go
(39:54):
there. Well, it know wherewe planning on hiring Badger? You wanted
to hire him? Oh okay,we never agreed. Okay, okay,
remember that, yes, big fatguy. No, well that's a different
blurban blurban Monty is the person who'rethinking about, who's the bar owner of
play aren't down? Before the poxwas a thought? Was a gleam in
(40:17):
your eyes? Sore partners with him? Now, I don't know if this
phoenix In plans good idea? Wellyou don't think Monty could go to the
docks for us and see if wecan get a vessel. That way you
can do with some investigating or whosays Monty won't cash in on the bounty
on our heads? Because why don'twe go and see if we can get
pen to do these things? Ohdude, And that sounds pretty appealing because
(40:42):
then we can just stay in theman's Ma's not there, hey, nameless
in PC turn that thing around.By no, he's gone. You see
it's through the lab of the fieldplace. Where are you going? Well,
(41:05):
shit, do we have to walkto the man's Now we could go
We could go through that through thefire swamp or whatever and uh in the
bathway? Yeah, thank thank you. The snap get some more like blinding
mushrooms and stuff. Yeah, wedon't even need to go to this nag
because it's not anywhere close to thewell. We need to stay off the
(41:29):
main room. Sure there's bounties onour there. That was the secret entrance
into the man's um. Yeah,bro, And I'm sure there's like some
intel on Davoc in there. Whatif he has a bunch of math and
space stuff there though, we canlook at that actually is true. Right,
(41:53):
I'm not opposed to this. Wedon't have to go through the snagmire.
But my fear is if we justare on the main road, down
the main road to the man's,we're gonna get spot with a giant turtle.
I'm pretty common now when you returnin a video game to land those
kind of intimidated firstment. Now we'relike super badass ye werena, Yeah,
we know what you guys have leveledlike one whole time. Hey, that's
(42:17):
on me. We are going,yeah, okay, good plan. So
what's doing to go to the man's? That's the whole play through the snagmire
back life. Who will procure usa vessel and we're looking for math and
space stuff in we'll do some ofthe investigating once we're in the man's.
(42:42):
Yes, shot it um okay.Let's also what was our what was our
friend in the snack Bier's name?We should bring him something? What do
we give him? Last time?I gave him some of the magic stones
cast magic stones. M kind ofgotta took advantage of what you believe to
(43:07):
be a subpar intelligence there. Iwouldn't say she's assuming he can only yell
his name. Yeah, okay,wow, like a Pokemon Pokemon all right.
Uh, if the plan is togo through the secret bag back interest
(43:27):
of the snack bar, you guysalready done that twice. I would say
we can skip the whole like it'srolling for mushrooms and all that stuff.
You guys are experts at this atthis point, can I gather some of
the blinding mushrooms? Nature? Jack? That's a one, But I'm lucky,
lucky lucky. That's a two.All right, Tom blinds himself for
(44:04):
don't you remember, Like I'll beyour eyes everything these mushrooms. Everything feels
so crazy, not even that kindof mush just be weird. You feel
amazing. It's true what they saywhen you go blind, all your other
senses get heightened. I need anadult, all right, So you guys
(44:24):
get into the man's um pen isnowhere to be seen. However, there
is quite a bit of like thingsin the man's Like there's lots of like
are there any guards like outside,like on the grounds, like roaming around
your people walking around. I don'tknow that you would know that until you
(44:46):
remember this. Back entrance emerges frombehind a painting inside the house. Um
but like, as you approach thispainting, you can hear people, maybe
not in that room, but likethere's people in the house for sure.
Okay, aren't even singing singing?No, no singing, not singing.
Okay, So this painting opens intolike a dining room of sorts. Um,
(45:16):
what do you want to do whenwe get insighed? Did you we
go to Derek's room? Shoud wego back to the blood dungeon catching a
hamstring? Crap? No, that'sthe worst. I want to leave all
(45:39):
of this. Listeners, this isreal. Oh gosh, I know you
gotta high rate man, you gottadrink water. Water, I'm not I
(46:08):
love mushroom. He's blind and hehas hamstream crams. Okay, so unless
there's any objections, we're gonna usethat. Yeah. Absolutely, tons behind
the painting and just starts he likestarts jumping on one foot and falls through
(46:34):
the painting. It swings open,and he's still like he's completely unaware of
everything around him. He's just screaminghe needs water. And then by having
mushrooms fucked him up together caught betweenlike, oh god, we should be
(46:57):
quiet, and this is the funniestthing I've ever seen I'm just like,
this is hysterical in your mouth.Don't what's happening to this fella? I
like your hamstring, your ass,no kind of stunning lack of knowledge about
sports and basic sports. It's justyou. You know this about you is
(47:29):
that entire big muscle back there byyour ass in the cyst neck is almost
your face. The hamsdring does connectyour ass. You're on that and hams
and ask muscles do a lot together. There was a reference in it and
(47:50):
ted lass. Oh my god,okay, boys, did I are people
coming in the room. There's acrowd now gathered at the door. Somebody
get him a banana? He lookedconfused, but someone does toss a banana.
(48:17):
Checks when you're ready pick up thatguitar. So yeah, oh no
we have Are you ready? Fourteen? Yea ten, ten nine? Okay.
So I think Tom and Kestrel arethe ones that pick up on the
(48:45):
sort of piratey vibe that we gotgoing here. Um, the crowd by
the door very much a scene outof Pirates of the Caribbean, because I
watched that recently. Layer like notaddressing like his livery or anything like that,
like David No, no, verymuch dressed in their own clothing,
(49:07):
still um and that they're kind ofmuttering and some people behind them are kind
of yelling. But that's that's thething you pick up immediately. What do
we want to do in the meantime? Now you're made? How are you
faring over here? What to beyou doing? Hair? You did this?
(49:30):
I just remember you did this.The crowd parts and I'm gonna turn
back. Drew be like and wecover up my ear. I cover up
my eye next time on night shift. Relatively young looking, half off sort
(49:52):
of parts at the crowd. He'she's dressing sort of pirate garb, you
know, a few layers and he'sgot a trick corner hat on every Thanks.
Hey, who the fuck is you? Why? Why are you here?
I recommend we are? Are youtalking like that? We be doing
the same thing you'll be doing here.
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