Episode 47: Murder Arc - Let’s Get Kraken

The Night Shift was built for fighting street toughs and washing away graffiti, not for swinging from the ropes of a tall ship while fighting a kraken. But - they’re going to learn very quickly, or they’re going to suffer the consequences. Will they be able to drown this problem with their usual calmness or will they kraken under the pressure?

The Night Shift is an actual-play, homebrew D&D Podcast and Youtube series that features the ridiculous antics of Jay Ducote, T-Bob Hebert, Lindsey Duga, and Chuck Pierce playing Dungeons and Dragons version 5e.


Brought to you by Little Wars (https://littlewars.com/) and Pelican Craft Brands (http://pelicancraftbrands.com/).

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Content Warning: This episode contains harsh language, violence, and touches on topics like genocide, abuse, and torture.

Links: https://linktr.ee/TheNightShiftRPG
Music by: Jay Parker

Part of Drop Biscuit Studios

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
The Night Shift is a real playD and D video and podcast series for
mature audiences. Content warnings can befound in the episode descriptions Last Home on
the Night Shift. Hey, Pen, I'm gonna come with us to Cornelian
Islands. Go get some revenge onthe dickhead boss of yours. Yes,

(00:21):
okay, dude, I can't screamtogether gold My souls already sold. Swim
you trapped to your spell. Iwish you well, never creats your own
your streets. You do better toretreat if you want it done right,

(00:42):
don't huh a night shift? Youguys rapped on the deck tentacles sort of
uh towering over the shift. Imean, this thing appears to be very
are you very large? Um?One tentacle already wrapped around the stern the

(01:03):
back of the ship and pulling downward. So as you're standing there, the
deck starts to tilt. Everybody makean athletics or acrobatics check to start were
heat up? Boys? Is thatyour days? Where's that? Oh shit?
I just lost it? Oh yeah, athletics or acrobatics. Lets either

(01:32):
one? Just tell me which Ican figure out. Not twenty baby,
All right, let's start with Attilius. Then actually, let's go to Attilius
last in case somebody else has ahas a fungled thing. Let me start
thirteen thirteen. Which one is youroll? Uh acrobatics, all right,

(01:55):
so thirteen the stern pulled down intothe water, and think what you can
see is like, it's not likethe back of it's in the water yet
or anything, but you can seedirectly down and see where the water meets
the ship, which is not usuallya good thing. Right, Um,
you try to steady yourself instead youend up kind of on your when you're

(02:19):
on your butt, on your onyour hamstring, if you will, um
sliding down the ship. Fourteen fourteenathletics. Let's say, let's say Tom,
given his very and I'm yes,very strong out of this point,
given his proclivities he uh he heloves acrobatics, loves doing flips and and

(02:43):
wants to pull off a flip andforgets for a moment that he has been
doing opium for four dation. Yeah, so what you attempt to do is
when the ship gets unleveled, youattempt to jump to a flip and land
with your feet on the mast.Okay, hell yeah, oh yeah,
And What happens instead is you youpull off I would call it eighty percent

(03:07):
of that. Your heels hit themast, slip and your back. It's
that poll and then you start rollingdown the deck. Let's uh roll one
day foreign damage. Boom, alright, here we go. I went for
it. Two two damage, twodamage. I mean land on the mast.

(03:30):
It's a round object. It's tough. You had you had gastics competition,
you would have had a high ceilingon that score. Yeah. Uh,
I rolled a twelve for athletics.Twelve for athletics. So I think

(03:53):
for your part, you know you'renot going to acrobatic your way out of
this one. You're not trying tokeep your balance. You immediately start looking
for something to ground one too.You grab a rope and it just isn't
connected in anything, So you juststart sliding down the deck while holding one
of this rope. You're gonnat temptto sort of hold yourself in place,
and instead it's just as far asyou can tell, I'm not connected.

(04:14):
So you're just going down the deck. Attilius, on the other hand,
with a natural twenty attilius up,I'm not I don't want to say it.
I don't. Yeah, I don'twant to say you can do anything
here, but what do you want? Tell about what you want to do,
and we'll figure out what's fair.I can attack right now, like

(04:34):
I can just I can do whatever, or is just as like I'm setting
myself up and putting myself in aposition to attack. Yeah, let me
give you some options. So Idon't I think you could attack attack Let's
say, probably not in a directway, like I'm not sure you could
pull a weapon, make your wayall the way to crack and attack it.
Um, but you could use likeyou could direct a crate to fall

(04:57):
into its mouth or something like that. Um. You could also help a
friend with that twenty and kind ofkeep them from sliding. Or you could
like very firmly secure yourself so thatyou don't have to make checks in the
future. So like the example there, you could grab a rope tied around
your waist, secure it on theother end, and then you're not gonna
have to make this sort of checkin the future. Is there a crow's

(05:18):
nest? Yeah, definitely, definitelythere is. So I can't wait to
see where this goes. So II spring forward to the side of the
ship that has the tentacle wrapped onis being pulled down, and I noticed
there's a crow's nest, so Ikind of leap forward onto the mast of
the crow's crow's nest is on andsprint upward, do like a spider man

(05:40):
barrel flip into the crow's nest andposition myself ready for battle. Love that.
Um. Let's say it's a crow'snest. So they usually have like
a harness or something up there,because you don't want somebody to fall from
a crow's nest. Um. Andit's the most delicate position on the ship,
so you're able to kind of putthat thing on super quickly. Yes,
and so now you're an only inthe highest point and and have a

(06:01):
good vantage point. You're also firmlysecure in this crow's nest. Yeah yeah,
yeah yeah. The only thing tokeep in mind is like you're getting
slung left or right or back tofor pretty hard um, which will unstable
you a little bit. Okay,let's all roll initiative. Ye, cracking

(06:25):
is a twenty four pangs flare,I tellias, are you using the snail
flail? What does that do again? So the snail flail which you just
got um is a melee weapon,which wouldn't be much use from where you're
at obviously, um, but itmakes you go last in initiative order.

(06:46):
But you get a plus two toany attack, which means, uh,
when you roll a die twenty twohit you get plus two to that,
and when you roll a damage youget a plus two to that. No,
but it's because it's a melee weapon, uh, so I wrote,

(07:08):
So it probably not would be though, so so I rode uh twelve,
well fourteen in minus two so twelve, Yeah, what's everybody else at?
Six? Twenty modified twenty natural?Oh here we go, um all right,

(07:30):
sorry, yeah, twenty natural foruh for Timbo, Timbo's initiative six
for Castrol, modified twelve for me, modified twelve for Attilius the Haunted,
modified twenty, and I'm modified twentyuh for tom Bombo. All right,
So Castals was a six untiliss wasa twelve. Gather two were on twenties.

(07:59):
But Timbos isn't natural, but Imeans Timbo goes first because Timbo had
a natural twenty fast acting the crackfast acting the crack. God, what
a reference Madden commercial tough acting toYeah, yeah, all right Uh,

(08:22):
but he rolled high timbo. Yeah, you're back sliding down this deck holding
onto a rope. What do youwant to do? So I'm on my
back sliding, Let's say you're sliding. There's whether you're on your back or
your stomach or whatever else, butyou're holding onto a rope. So well,
I'll go on my back if I'mnot, if I'm not on my

(08:43):
feet. Uh. But I'm signingtowards the tentacle though, right, Yeah,
so I think of it is likethe whole back of the ship is
tilting and there's a tentacle pulling thatdown that I'm signing towards. Correct.
Yeah, so I just want tokeep sliding. I want to go yeah

(09:03):
all right, yeah, I wantI want to keep Uh. I want
to build momentum up sliding towards itand uh and impale it with a sword.
But while sliding, I want toI want to rip my shirt open
and reveal my crocodile tis necklace andenter a rage. Mighty oh fighting on

(09:28):
the ship. I'm gonna go toa c rage and sorry, yeah,
and I died, take out,take out, missedweaver and uh, and
I just want to impale uh thetentacle At any point, do you like
trying to write yourself and jump oryou just sliding down till you get to

(09:48):
the tentacle and slashing? Um,how fast am I sliding? I mean?
Is it a pretty brisk slide?Uh? Yeah, I mean I
probably hard to hard for ust vocalized, but yeah, yeah, let's say
it's like it feels a little outof control, okay, then pretty quick.
Yeah yeah, so i'd I wouldwant to try to stabilize myself,

(10:16):
get my feet planted on something,and and then like use that to kind
of springboard into the tentacle. Okay, all right, let's uh, I
don't think we're even gonna do acheck on that. You've already done a
check in and got a natural twenty, So in my opinion, you just
do that. At some point Youjust kind of like hit a secure crate

(10:37):
or something and that lets you likecatch your feet and then you run and
jump to stab. So roll tohit the role is a nineteen plus six
on the mister Weaver is a twentyfive idle hit no barbarian um. Okay,

(10:58):
so that's uh, that was thetwo handed sword attack there as well,
So that'll be a D ten plusfive eight and I'm raging. So
it's actually plus seven, So fifteenfifteen damage, fifteen points of damage and

(11:20):
that's slashing. That is slashing damage. Yes, sounds good. Let's go,
dude, let's go. All right, So you hacking slash at this
tentacle. I think you cut?How are you standing? Are you standing
on the that was kind of plunginginto the tentacle? Yeah, so I

(11:43):
think he's He's like, yeah,kind of up to the hilt on that
tentacle and standing on it. Thatwould stop my momentum, would be like
stopping on the tentacle as I'm like, I used the word undulating before,
but that's what's happening. It's undulatingbeneath him. You're cracking it. Suckers,
uh crack, you have suckers asfar as I'm aware. Let's say,

(12:03):
yes, this one does. Didyou scut oil? It's a great
question and one that you might findout in this final m definite possibility.
Who's next natural joining or no cracking? Well? Yeah, I was modifizing
you right, Okay, So what'sgonna happen is one of these tentacles is

(12:31):
gonna rise up in the air,and I think probably Timbo has the best
view of this. Um, Atentacle, one that has not already wrapped
its way around the ship, appearsout of the water and just climbs and
climbs and climbs into the air andthen falls across the boat. Heavy.
Um, what's gonna happen is Ithink really the two of you, Kestrel

(12:56):
and Tom Bombo are the ones thatare kind of beneath it. Um.
Oh, it hits hard all right, um. And I think as you
look around, you can see there'slike maybe eight or nine visible tentacles right

(13:20):
now, most of which are justkind of in the air or slicing through
the water. One around the boat, one that just fell on top of
the boat, got up walk isthis thing's head all right under the ship?
So uh, half lanes have thelucky traits. And so I think
that like, I'm just the perfectsize to hide within a sucker as it

(13:41):
comes down, so it makes likea little air bubble over me and I
don't get hurt at all. Let'sthink about it. Think about it.
Oh shocks, Um, both ofthem hit Crocky, I mean fourteen points

(14:07):
of damage to the both of you. Ouch. Oh, Tom, that
takes you down. I'm done becauseI take the two pounds of damage for
tripping and my heroin out of state. Oh my god, I'm just sucking

(14:28):
falling. Wow, lifeless bodies allover the boat. Oh no, okay,
Um, Tom, I think youjust get pinned under this thing as
it falls, So you're not fallinganymore. Um, you're just stuck underneath
this. I'm stuck on one ofthe stuckers. Sure, why not,

(14:48):
I'm sucking a sucker? Sure allright, Um and Castrol you're not.
But it wayal Asia is the wayto think of it. It hits your
heart. Yeah, damn. Whois next? Is that? Me?

(15:09):
Would have been Tom? Tom?Tom? Make it that' save that said
twelve. Let's go all right,all right, something good happening. Um,
we're gonna stick Lucious right here inthe order. And oh my god,

(15:30):
he's playing Lucius on the top deckhas arranged a bunch of the pirates
who have crossbows and they all letloose into the um the tentacle that is
just landed in the middle of theboat. Um, we're gonna say he's
trying to save one of his bestcustomers. We're gonna say ten percent of

(15:52):
the bolt's miss, which means ofthem hit. Um, none of them
hit either of you, which evenbetter. Um. And I think this
this tentacle sort of like shrinks backa little bit, stops trying to sink
the boat and shrinks back. Sotom, uh, I think you're back
to sliding down the deck at thispoint, Umi unconscious at this time unconscious?

(16:15):
Yeah? Okay, is there adamage number that those bolts? Uh
deal? All right? Yeah,great question. Yeah, let's do let's

(16:41):
do forty points of damage? Nice? What's pin doing? Must be a
lot of them? Oh pins inthe bottom deck. He's sick. And
Bill, Hey, what a racket? Yeah, Bills, Well where's bill?
Fills with? Fills with second Carapan? I don't think you got one
bell up here? Yeah, there'sno nest. No, there's no neck

(17:04):
to throw at. What are wegonna do here? He's gonna throw the
knife once? Yeah? Yeah,he took his only weapon they could even
help. All right, I tellyou us, what are we doing?
Where is the second tentacle? Like? Is it behind me? Up in

(17:27):
the crow's nest? Like? Isit? Yeah? I would say it
kind of fell down kind of rightbehind that crow's nest and mask. Okay,
now it's sort of sliding off theboat sort of withdrawing, okay,
with a bunch of bolts in it. All right, I want to turn
my attention to the to the tentaclethat's trying to pull the ship down.

(17:48):
I want to I want to leapoff of the crow's nest, take off
the horness a leap off the crow'snest, down onto the tentacle, bounce
off backflip in the air, andrelease eldritch blast one more time. You
think is going to carry Okay,let me make sure make sure our expectations

(18:17):
match. Here. What you're doingis jumping off of the crow's newt like
it's called thirty feet here. Yeah, coming down like Batman on this thing.
Harness down, boy, it's gonnabe great or dragon board warlock off
the crows helping this scenario. Imean not to like fly fly, but
not like slow them down like likeBatman. Yeah maybe yeah, kind of

(18:41):
like the wings on the Spider Manlike it was kind of like a slider
kind of thing. I'll allow itdown. Um, and then you want
to land on the tentacle like becauseits child's trampling. Yes, yes,
and then Eldritch blasted yes that lastpoint. Just so I'm clear, it's

(19:02):
just for style points. You're nottrying to accomplish anything with the back flip.
No, no style points. Maybewants to really impress all those guys
that cross get it. I tellyou is feeling great, he's feeling he's
been meditating. Maybe maybe i'snu someopium and for the battle has on opium
bens for four days. But alsomaybe we don't know. Okay, let's

(19:25):
start with an acrobatics check. Okay, and I'll tell you well, this
one needs to be on point.Yeah, big money, big money,
noamis seventeen well minus two fifteen minustwo see my battle real last microback.

(19:49):
I like to went balls to thewall in this check. Hey man,
go bigger, go home. Yeah, well you might have to go begger,
go to the hospital. Yeah,um um, okay, So with
a fifteen given given the difficulty ofthis particular maneuver um, you dive off

(20:10):
swan, dive your wings slowly,a little bit, you land, and
you like bind down to do uhto accomplish a backlip, and when you
spring back up, the slipperiness ofthis tentacle, just your feet just scoop
out from under your and you justland on your back and the tentacle sort

(20:32):
of move at the last minute,just kind of threw your game off.
So you find yourself kind of grabbingon to the top of it, hanging
on. So now you would likethe Elder's blast, you can just do
that a little further away, thankyou? All right, Okay, roll
up attack there. Yeah I didn't. Yeah, what was it? Six?

(20:56):
What's plus plus five? Him?Just an eleven? You miss?
So I think just the way thetentacles moving you you sort of pointed to
your left further down the tentacle,and then it moves the last minute and
you fire it off in me here. Yeah, I had good intentions.
People. Oh it's a great damif if if um if he like whole

(21:21):
if he puts the vampire dagger inmy hand and swings my limp hand had
the monster do I get those healthpoint back. Maybe he's just like,
we get it. Bernie's are talkingout. He's just like this like a
little yeah, we get it.Bernie should try it. Yeah, I
don't know, idea figure it outwhen I get there. I guess it

(21:45):
Wasn't I like that You're asking meas if this is something I've already contemplated,
Like I have no idea. Man, maybe we'll figure that out when
we get there. Geez, holyhell um okay, kestrel Okay, So
explain to me what the tentacles looklike again? Now? Um? So

(22:06):
the one that's like currently slithering offof you is riddled with crossbow bolts and
it's sort of large, uh,kind of dark reddish, think like an
octopus tentacle at the little suction cupsall over it and you're kind of popping
off of the wood. Um asfar as like they're um, as far

(22:29):
as their width, think like sixfeet wide? Yeah? Um? Position
meaning what exactly? So like howmany tentacles are around the ship or like
flailing around the ship? Um,you guys can see eight or nine?
Okay? Are any of them closedtogether? Sense where this is going?

(22:52):
Let's say, yeah, yeah,truls, okay, sure, how many?
I want to find out where thisis going? So? Yeah,
I feel like she bits me onthe She's like, yeah, environment,
Um, let's say there's there's twodifferent sets where you can find a pair
that's very close together. Okay,Um, So I run up to the

(23:12):
set that's closest to me, andum, I elongate my immovable rod and
I slam it on top of thepair to lock them in place so they're
not flailing anywhere. The first timewe've used the immovable rod to be immovable.

(23:33):
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(23:56):
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(24:17):
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(24:41):
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(25:02):
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(25:22):
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(26:08):
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love you welcome the Airn House Cookballturn them on up. Next we have
the night Shift perennial losers. Youknow, their legs have gotten stronger,

(26:30):
their hearts have grown three times thesize, and they appear to be okay.
Well, let's take a little break, ladies and gentlemen, and we'll
be back in five. Yeahs,feel a little stronger since the last time
we leveled up, even though it'sbeen a little while. Wow. Wow,
hey Bill, great job out there, man, you really uh well,
I know you didn't get on basetoday, but your effort was astounding.

(26:52):
Great job, Bill. People keeptelling me that I was I was,
I was never gonna get to thirdbase, and I um, I
didn't. How can you miss thatball? I can't it right to you?
I mean, right, gee,I might as well use you as
the ball next. To be fair, I'm about the size of the ball
and you kicked it. Next timeyou climb up on atilius? Is that

(27:15):
legal? We look in the room. Just pour me a drink, okay,
whatever, Well, I'm so angryright now, my good friends over
at rallycap the liberty of brewing usa beer named after something that will never
truly understand, and that is VictoryFormation. And there's some assessment to be

(27:37):
some sort of runic symbols of somesort from these cans. Well, yes,
uh, the good news is ahazy i PA eight percent alcohol by
a volume. Victory Formation is verytasty, even though we'll never really understand
what it's like. Hey, it'son the fifteen to zero. Okay,
y'all, it's free. They stillhave a chance. It is for sure.

(28:00):
It's a perfect sports brew. Yes, yeah, quenches the first I
reckon when I crank out my dingersI can just trot around the base path
and watch it with the dingers.This is the family sport. We don't
want to fucking love American football.I get it. I can read the

(28:22):
room just football man. Fuck yeah, this is actually great. Something happened.
It's all bumpa over there. Yeah, delicious beer. Pelican Craft Brands
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(28:48):
Various stute over there. Only sheworked on her kickball skills like she's been
working on her beers. Tom's fault. He missed the ball, messed the
ball. I think you know howthe game works. Why would you be
kicking into me anyway? Alright,get your asses back on the field.
Let's minish. Okay, Let's let'smake a roll slight of hand at advantage.

(29:25):
I'm not sure exactly what this shouldrequire, Okay, but let's go
slide of hand at advantage all right, M twelve and fourteen, uh and
plus slight of hand sage sixteen andfourteen sixteen sixteen. Okay, So you
guys watch as um it sort oflooks like Cashtroll has Walter damn mind because

(29:48):
she gets up, sprints sort ofsideways on this ship while like leaning heavily
one way so she can keep herfeet, and dives off of the boat.
As she dives, she sort ofputs this this immovable rode out in
front of her and it starts tolengthen, and then she lands between two
of these tentacles that are kind ofcurling, and you see her like pull

(30:11):
down and as it sort of pullsinto the flesh, she hits the button.
It locks, and now those tentaclesare just kind of stuck where they're
at, So it's so it's kindof hanging there two tentacles, which is
something. Well, so where wheream i exactly off the side of the
boat? Okay, good, hangingfrom a road. So as my bonus

(30:32):
action, I want to jump intothe water. Didn't expect that? Yeah,
okay, easy enough. Just letgo of the rock. Yeah yeah,
done, you're swimming. Boy,this feels I feel like I'm missing
something, But go ahead. Somefan art of Chestral and the two Tentacles

(30:52):
stop. Yes, all right?Listener fan art time? Oh god,
don't we do need to start gettingour listeners? To create some fan art
for us. I mean, ifanybody out there's any night shift Rule thirty
four, then we don't actually existyet. That's how that's how you get
that. That's how you get approvedinto real Internet existence. All right,

(31:17):
maybe that's ticular talk spectacular, butwhatever or I might Where is uh Tom
Bombo sliding down the deck of theship so everyone else was in a controlled
slid sort of on their back.Yeah, he's just head kind of banging

(31:40):
like, but he would be towardsright. That's because I'm I'm on the
lower tentacle, so he's coming towardsme, yes, at a rapid pace,
at a rapid clip. Yeah,like on this turn, can I
get where I? Could I getwhere I need to be to like catch
them? Yeah, let's say,sir, all right, so I,

(32:04):
uh, I sheathed my sword,I positioned myself based on where where he's
coming down the plinko board of thedeath of the ship. Uh, and
uh already myself to catch him.Create here a mask there it gets caught

(32:25):
in a rope here, but mymy intense is to is to catch him
and then with him safely in myarms. Well, we'll determine that but
go ahead, Well, I needto know if I have my arms where
I do the next I do youwant to say? At this exact moment,
Pen opens the door and looks herdown the deck of the ship and

(32:46):
sees you bouncing, And that isthe first time that Pen understands what Piniestries
is going to do. They're gonnamake something called a pinball machine, all
right, or inspiration dice. We'lltalk about it's worthless. We'll talk about

(33:09):
the legalities of like patents and everythinglater, because you know, I obviously
played a huge role in the creationof this. So we'll get there when
we get there. Alright, Um, athletics check is what you're going for,
like diving and catching something. That'syeah, that's good because I'm raging
and I get an advantage on well, that's on strength checks. So athletics

(33:31):
is a little bit. Athletics isa strength based check. So you're good,
okay, So that even if itdoes get an advantage on yeah,
I think it's supposed to apply tolike saving throws, but in this case,
I think it makes a ton ofsense. I could be wrong.
There could be any skill check.You gain advantage on strength checks and saving
throw. All right, dude,cheap up. I was give it to

(33:52):
them either way. Pal aggressive rightthere with that move, all right,
so twenty two twenty two do it? Yeah, I think you, um,
you sort of run along this thistentacle leap, and I think it's
one of those things where you sortof grab him from from off the deck
and roll and sort of tuck him, tuck his head under your arm or

(34:14):
something to protect him. Um youland. I think right by the railing
you can kind of grab onto therailing on the side of the ship with
uh, with Tom secure under onearm. Yeah, well, I don't
want to be under an arm.I wanted him to be like cradling.
I've got so unconscious. You don'tget a vote. I'm now sitting on
the deck of the ship there likeand I've got him. I've got him

(34:35):
like like a like like in ababy born here and my heads against his
chest to reach into my pocket andI pull out this is a real romance
story. I pull out a jarof total jelly. I've had it the
whole time. Wow, right hereon one turtle jelly jar. I've never

(34:59):
crossed the it out because I neverused it. I kept the secret kept
it safe, and so with aboutninety eight percent of it, I pour
it down his throat so he consumesit like he's supposed to take my finger.
I take my finger. I wipedthat right under his nose, just

(35:29):
like just right under, almost spentwater all over the sixpen. You you
saved me. I caught your mate. I want to give him a little
kiss in the cheeks. We got. We gotta take out this cracking.

(35:52):
O. Thank you so much.I'm ready to go. Yeah, you
gought your crack. Now, let'sdefeat the cracking. I'm how much I'll
take it back from points? Allright, there you go process. He's
got five hit points. Wow,he's feeling it. He's on a turtle

(36:12):
jelly high. Yeah. Oh yeah, we're back. Dude, Damn,
I can't believe it's been holding thatme, this secret. Keep it for
the exact right, all right,crackings turn um, let's see. I

(36:32):
think what we'll do is uh ituh. One of these tentacles swiped sort
of horizontally along that top deck,and it wraps up like four of the
pirates cent and then hurls them sixtyfeet into the water, just grabs them

(36:57):
in like a big sweeping motion andthen flings them to the direct wow.
Um, and then it is goingto uh. You see its head come
out of the water for the firsttime, and it's I would say closest
to Tom and timdo the stern ofthe ship. Um behind that tentacle,

(37:21):
probably another thirty feet. It's hornedhead sort of rises out of the ocean.
It's got horns on top, hornssort of facing the bottom of its
cheeks. UM. Very hard lookingcreature like armored face rises out of the
water. And then the clouds aboveyou start to darken and turn gray and

(37:47):
then black, and then lightning startsraining from the sky. What what are
we supposed to run? Everyone makesdexterity saving throws. I've envisioning that cracking
from clash at the site. It'sthe good one, nothing like the original

(38:15):
claimation one mm hm the Harry housing. What are we rolling for? What
is this for dexterity saving? Imean, of course turtle jelly dub that's
the twenty three. It's a modifiedseven feet yeah, modified seven for me,

(38:35):
modified seven same oh wow, fourteenum all right for my modified seven
pezzs lenges in the water. Idon't know if that changes in the Yeah,
so so mm hmm, what canstill get struck by electricity? That's

(39:00):
what I'm trying to think, electricity. But is the ocean has a work
in the ocean, Like, what'sthe distance on how far water electricity gets?
I'm not sure. Um let's saythat you're exempted nothing strikes the water
near you, because I just don'tfeel like dealing with that, um attilius.

(39:23):
The bad news of the bad newsbad news. Okay, you get
hit by lightning, like a directstrike, and now you can enter the
speed force. Yes, yes,Now you're like the flash in the sense
that one time the flash died andyou were now dead. Yeah, you're

(39:43):
gonna take eleven points of damage.All right, Yeah, you're all right.
You're looking roth, but you're aright. Yeah you guys, hear
Lucius behind your goal. Oh it'sa baby, it's a baby. Crack
in. We take it, guys, baby, Yeah, that's what's small.

(40:04):
We could take this one. Comeon, I don't understand shoot its
face or its arms. Yeah,you know, it's face or it's arms.
Just so it's sort of like anythingelse. You're just killing all of
this. My first you know rodeofor cracking or whatever. What if I
called rodeos or I might let's dothis tom Bombo. So I'm still in

(40:34):
until you or I'm still in um, still in my arms filling Timbo's arms
and so like I said, Iam going to give him a little smooch
in the cheeks. Thank you brother, go fuck that cracking. The cansto
is really two cast um heroism,so on a bravery um the plus four

(40:57):
hp thing, ye, you mightbe something else about it too, and
then um with a bonus action,I am going to give him a little
bardic inspiration as well. Yeah thereare right there, and uh then I
am going to hop down out ofhis arms. And the boats still like

(41:28):
vertical us right or I wouldn't callit a vertical, but like ca and
where the front of the back isin the wall, you're at the very
back at the back of the veryback. Okay, So then there's probably
like you know, like a deck, little stairs, middle part then deck.

(41:49):
Right, So like if it werelike this trying to crest like those
stairs. You know what I'm saying, I'm trying to explain it. Um
some trying to do and we'll figureit out. I'm just trying to get
you a little bit of high ground, uh like, because the middle of
the ship sits lower than the thanthe back, right. Yeah. Yeah,
So if it's like this, it'sbeen tilted like this trying to climb

(42:14):
up here. You know what I'msaying. Oh, I think the audio
listener is gonna be very confused.Stairs that are now angled at a flat
plane basically because the boat's been Yeah, so let's say probably the main way
roll perception real quick. We'll takeyour action. I'm gonna like grab rope
and cut one counterweight. Zoomer,you're gonna roll perception real quick. That

(42:37):
is a too many drugs. That'sa eighty all right, So no counterweight.
But you do see a series ofropes that appear to be anchored to
the other side of the ship somewherethat you could use to kind of stable
yourself or like almost like an oppositeof repel. Yeah yeah, okay,
So I guess we'll just start toclimb up there. Okay, I think

(42:59):
that's gonna take all your movement.Yeah, anything else you want to do?
No, My bonus action was thebartic inspiration Lucious and the pirates.
Um, I think lucious and thepirates rearm their crossbows and fire for the
face of this little little little babycrack cracking. Uh huh, little baby

(43:22):
cracking the bolts. Miss. Okay, but even if it's technically like grappled
with the tentacles, yeah, becausethey're shooting for its face. All right,
But I but I appreciate you makingthe argument tentacles. If they were
shooting for the tentacle, I'd totallygive it to you. They shoot,

(43:43):
they're shooting for the face. Umso eight damage, mm hmm, not
a ton no, but you seea couple of bolts sticking in its face
and it kind of snarls and chicksits head. Tillia, let's go haunted

(44:05):
one. He's less haunted now,thank you. How far how far away
is the is the face of thecracking from the boat? About thirty feet?
I'm going to eldritch blast this bitchin the face. Okay, where
are you at You're at the backof the boat still. Yeah, you

(44:29):
know, he jumped down. Hejumped down. He's like right by,
he's kind of right by. Yeah, you're like right by them. Yeah,
because you landed on your you're likeon the up hold on to it,
so actually you could probably be alittle closer to its face like as
that, because you're on that tentnacle. You're probably twenty twenty five feet away.
Okay, um, okay, rollto hit going with the paint m

(44:50):
hm nice I think, uh fuckthat would be a three three plus five
is eight? Yep math um,yeah, once again the ship on fire,
ready, ready, steady, andthen the technical moves and you fire

(45:16):
off into the air and all youhear is Luci's go. That guy can't
even at all fair enough Jesus gettingroasted? Yeah, um, all right,
gas Roll, what the hell areyou doing? Wait? Is spell
attack bonus? Spellcast modifier? Uh? It different? Yeah it is?

(45:40):
Well, I'm I'm wondered. Soheroisms Actually he gets HP plus my spell
cat like whatever my spellcast modifier is? Yes? Well, so like your
modifier is four? Your spell attacksix? Okay, okay, it is
four? Okay, all right,gas Roll? What are we What are
we doing here? Because I've beencurious for a whole turn now okay,

(46:00):
um, well I'm I'm swimming belowthe ship mhm um, and can you
tell me what I see below?The ship because I'm assuming is it like
a giant octopus where all of itstentacles are kind of wrapped around the ship
and failing or make a perception checkswon't be your action. Okay, Remember

(46:23):
I had dark vision and the seais dark. If you ever tell me
that again on my throat more thanshe dark vision? Alright, alright,
some strong ass dark vision, strongass dark vision right there? All right,
Yeah, I think you can determinea few things. One, there

(46:45):
are ten tentacles on this thing him. Okay. Um, the body,
if you will, of this creatureis sort of underneath the ship, not
really like pressed up against it.There there's a little bit space betwe the
bottom bottom of the ship in it, but that's kind of how it's aligned.
And then its head is um,thirty feet behind it, so think

(47:06):
of it almost like um, it'slike spooning the ship from beneath, but
backwards, like head facing the backof the ship, not the front of
the ship. Um. Yeah,what else did you want to know?
Um? What else are you tryingto figure out? Red? Well,
can I use animal handling to somehowfigure out a week point? Huh?

(47:29):
That's a good question. Let's seehow that role goes roll animal handles sixteen
sixteen nice sixteen, it's pretty good. Um. Let's say a male or
a female cracking boy. If you'verolled a seventeen out of given it to

(47:53):
wow, she's all that breaks backin the day. And now the question
about cracking we wanted to Okay,So I think what I'll give you is
given the way this creature has orienteditself. It was perfectly fine sticking its
tentacles out of the water and wrappingthem on top of the ship where they'd

(48:13):
be shot, perfectly fine sticking itshead out of the water and looking at
what it's doing. However, it'ssort of belly is underneath the ship and
the hardest to reach spot. SoI think from that you can more or
less surmise that is its weakest point. Okay, okay, um, I

(48:37):
would just swim as close as Ican to the belly. H how you
can get all the way there andstab it with the dagger of yak Oh
wowow right in the kiss ye rollall right? Um, I think dagger
of yak is plus two hit maybe? Uh is it on your sheet?

(49:01):
It was on my old sheet,I believe, Oh yeah. And then
we had it not on your sheetfor a little while. Um, and
I'm assuming it's a piercing things andthat's a dagger. You have a plus
four. Yeah, your your daggerstwo four four. So it's crazy,

(49:23):
is it's ac is almost that Yeah, but it ended twenty one. Bit
it ended twenty one, so ithits and you're gonna do two die four
plus four damage. M hm,okay, two die four mm plus four

(49:45):
yeah, four six ten, tenpoints of damage. Um, we're gonna
double that because it's the soft underbellyand you can really like feel it,
like when you were on the tentacle, it felt armored. When you land
on this thing. It's like away I hate these this word. It's

(50:07):
like soft and fish. Yeah,Like it's like soft and flush. You
stab and then like just because ofthe way you're sort of floating in the
water and the way it's moving,it almost like drags a full foot very
easily. Um, that's right,So we're gonna double that damage. It
is now considered poisoned and it willmake a check based on that. Um.

(50:34):
When you pull the knife out thislike, especially underwater, you can
tell viscous black uh chor just startspouring out of its wound. And as
you're watching it underneath its skin,underneath it's like flesh, that same black
material kind of starts creeping outward fromthe wound. Uh, I wouldn't haale

(51:00):
it by. Yeah, like thatprobably wouldn't be good for you. But
what if you did. I thoughtyou was gonna say this. I thought
you're gonna say And as the woundopens, little baby crack and start coming
out of an alien nightmare. Yeah, okay, um that was castral tembo

(51:28):
turn. It was a good turn. Mmmmmmmmm yes, indeed, mite.
I would like a crack, thecracking, yes, uh, reckon.
The best thing to do is,uh, just attack, do some damage.

(51:50):
I can't there's no way for meto really reach the head it's coming
out of the water. But like, there's not a bridge to it,
right, one will there's one way. You're holding a teleporting sword, correct,
Yeah, but yeah, no,there's not like a bridge to it.
You couldn't jump to it. Ifyou jumped, you'd have to swim.
Yeah, you're covered in a heavysword from when I made really good

(52:16):
purchase on slashing with a tentacle withmy sword earlier. Did it did it
feel like I could actually cut througha tentacle like all the way through?
Is that the goal? Um?Like I thought, with a tentacle that
is just sitting there wrapped around theboat or I mean maybe not just sitting

(52:37):
there, but like, yeah,that is with some effort and a good
role, I think you could getenough through it to accomplish the goal essentially.
Um, you already did kind ofland in one spot and turn it
a little bit, so I wouldsay you're probably already one third of the
way through that particular tentacle in thatparticular spot. Yep. So that's what
I want to do. I wantto go back to that spot. I

(52:57):
had kind of turned my attention awayfrom there to catch Tom Bombo. But
I want to go back to thatspot that I had worked on before and
uh and just go at it witha double handed attack with Missdweaver in that
same spot with the intent to reallylike take out that tentacle. Let's roll
an athletics at advantage. And Ithink you have some benefits from what heroism

(53:22):
man from rage? Uh, certainlyfrom rage. Yeah, well so I'm
already I would already be rolling anathletics check at advantage because I'm raging,
So does that mean I get advantagejust heroism? Give him any plus to
strength checks or anything like that.Okay, uh so that would be a

(53:43):
fifteen nine plus six. Yeah,all right, roll to hit and I'll
let you know how this goes.And I'm yeah, just run one there,
seventeen plus six on the misdeavers,so twenty three. Good lord.
All right, So here's the waywe're gonna do this. I think you

(54:04):
sort of wait until this like theboat is sort of rocking, especially the
back of it, and you sortof wait until it's coming up, and
you just take a step in theleap feels like the easiest way to close
the distance. And when you land, you land in the wound like feet
first, you're like up to yourribs in tentacle, and then just push

(54:24):
down with the sword and start wigglingit. Yeah, within ten seconds,
you're through ninety percent of this thing, and it's losing its mod like it
starts letting go of those suction cupsand pulling back. Pretty quickly, you're
up in the air maybe fifteen feetwith the rest of the tentacle kind of

(54:46):
hanging by some fleshy strings. Isthe way I would think of it.
So from from your attilius and Tomfrom y'all's perspective, because Keshral's underwater.
Kind of what you see is atsome point you look over and Tom is
like standing on top of a tentaclepillar. Sorry, yeah, it's standing
on top of like a tentacle pillarwith a sword in his hand. Maddened

(55:09):
rage, righteous square calavari, tonightdamage Hail Satan, seventeen nice for damage
ten plus seven good night, allright, seventeen that's fucking yea. Yeah,

(55:34):
very am proposed for chopping off atentacle all right, yeah, I
mean that that was a max damageroll. It is the Kraken's turn.
It has to roll to see ifit can save from being poisoned. No
dice, nice um, So itremains poisoned, taking six more points of

(55:59):
damage. So is it throwing upIt's great point because yeah, it does
not have any sort of like immunityof that. So yeah, as you
guys, it's less probably less youKestral, So let's let's give it two

(56:22):
or three points of advantage. Aretwo or three points of perspective, So
Kestral, from where you're standing,you watch this black or just like,
Um, so you're sort of likefloating right above its stomach, and you
watch this black acor just suddenly sortof rifle up its neck. Okay,
Um, you you're staying, uh, Timbo, you're standing on top of

(56:42):
this like tentacle pillar sort of stillstats stared still in the tentacle, kind
of riding it a little bit,um, and it suddenly sort of stops
and and like stops, uh tryingto fling you off, I guess.
And you look over at its headand it's just like it looks like it's
at out to lose its lunch.You know. It's just the neck is
like pivoting forward. Um. Andthen Tom and Attilius. From y'all's perspective,

(57:07):
what you see is, having justlooked at Tom, you can see
that Tom's Timbo. You can seeit. Timbo's now looking over towards its
face, so naturally follow his eyeline, and this thing just just throws up
a massive amount of black poisonous toxininto the water. Um. All of

(57:30):
these tentacles start falling into the water. The one that's crossed the boat starts,
you know, finishes sliding back intothe water. And you can see
this thing duck its head back onCasha from your vantage point, it like
starts to turn and you can seelike it's back legs, tentacles start swimming,
and it's it's clearly trying to likeget away. It's running. Hey,

(57:57):
Lucious, looks more like a babyyack in to me. I think
we can throw that out of uhinitial order unless someone wants to do something.
Uh well, I just like takea bow while on top of the
pillar that I'm on, and thenuh and then just kind of casually like

(58:19):
step off and back on onto theonto the star, onto the stern of
the boat, as like as theas the boat is lifting back up because
it's getting off of the Yeah.And then I'm just like and then I
say, all right, Lucious,I'll take that bag. Now. He's

(58:44):
like, you didn't want to likecheck on your friend or anything. She
went the water. She's fine,I'm getting fine. All right, Uh
well, you know we did mostof it for you. Is, but
I suppose i'll grab the bag foryou. Oh did you yeah, I
don't even know what down there swam. I suppose did you go for a

(59:06):
dip? You know that that happened. That was all me. No,
no, no, no, thatwas it was. It was sick of
getting shot, is what it was. Would you like? Does sir?
He looks at it and it's drippingblack, and he's like, oh yeah,
maybe you did some of it.Then maybe it was team effort.
It was probably a joint effort.If I had to guess, you will

(59:29):
get that back for you guys.You guys did great. You lost a
lot of them, though you didnot do that great. I was go
of it right. Did you getsomething something because you could not hit the
broad side of the bond. Idon't know how you've been meditating on these
last four days at sea, buthe's just been feeling more peaceful. I

(59:50):
didn't want to do no damage.Apparently opium is not good for dragging me.
Every time he turns round of theother pirates, he's like, what
do you want? Like, applause, get back to fucking work. Then
he goes and grabs your bag,brings it back to you. Heck yeah,
should we check on Pin and Billsee if okay you made your right

(01:00:10):
down there? And pen is justhurling, I mean his whole he's he's
dry heaving at this point, he'salready thrown everything up, and Bill is
attentive. He's got like a ragon his head, and Pen could not
be less interested in being attended toby Bill Penn. Are you okay?
All part of the plan? Ohwell, thankfully Bill was here to take

(01:00:32):
care of you. I kind ofsave the day. In case you guys
didn't notice. Yes, you're welcome. Pin was informing me that that we
actually helped a great deal. I'ma little unsure of how without as flashy,
but we get the job done,so you know you're welcome. Guys.
I have a four one k Pindustriesnow I've been employed. I don't

(01:00:54):
get anything else. Match there's nomatch no four one k which I'm not
sure exactly what that give me themoney? I put it into the four
oh one okay, all right,great, it's just happy to have me
to be here. We should probablykicks everybody out so she can change out
of close. Um, I gotfine wrong up top decks. I'm feeling

(01:01:20):
good. I want to on thetop deck. You did a hell of
a job. Thanks for shaving meman, I no problem, but uh
that was the last of the turtlejelly. I know I know, but
I think I learned to value thelesson today. I should probably probably should
just relax. One. I'm alittle bit just on some of the drugs

(01:01:42):
I think. I think, well, I'm gonna I'm gonna try not to
do once we get put back onthe plan. I mean we should maybe
yeah, okay, maybe a littlebit of opium tonight this last night.
If we just defeated the crack andtonight, but that trade we should celebrate
with it. Yeah, just alittle bit, all right, cool,
all right, that sounds good.But after that rum kestrel you did well?

(01:02:06):
You did really well. Also,oh you look great, just changed.
Thank you? If you do opiumagain, yes, I'm going to
break your loot all right. Uh, rum on your findest the barrel of
rum, please? Yes, woslike good news and sort of bad news.
Uh, the best crater rum isthe only crater rum. So that's

(01:02:29):
fine news. Did you drag it? Ever? Everyone comes back with a
barrel that's like this big, likeit's like a foot tall. That is
that's fine? Yeah, everybody,do you have anything else to drink?
Here? I sort of specialize inopium is sort of my idea alcohol opium

(01:02:49):
for you after tonight. Understand,just one more bump, I got it,
get out alright, alright, butleave the rum m. I do.
I appreciate all the work you did. You know, you saved the
ship and all that and uh andyou know, kestro Lin, I know
you. You actually probably did abunch of stuff under the You probably weren't

(01:03:12):
just taking a dip. I justwant to do you know right that wrong
and Commendia on your impressive swimming abilitiesor whatever. So put out whatever you
talk that. She kicks him reallyhard, hurd dude, And I think

(01:03:37):
I'm guys, I think I'm goingthrough a bit of withdrawal. No way,
I feel that's actually the turtle jellymixing that together with the opium was
coming down from the turtle jelly.We just have a great night just drinking

(01:03:58):
and partying together. Yeah, absolutely, that is exactly what happens. You
have a great night, just therest of the rum uh at think of
the night. Cash probably can't helpherself. She asked, what it's rum
gone? You know? But otherthan that, uh passes about incident.
I get three sheets to the wind. You need to die? Do you

(01:04:24):
have an inspiration die? No?Three sheets to the wind is a good
fucking nautical drum term. Yeah,all right, um, And then the
next morning, with probably a headacheand some light sensitivity, you wake up.

(01:04:45):
Last night's celebration was maybe a littlebit too much. How much more
time do we have at sea?Captain Lucius sits up from a hammock in
the room. Hey, you sleptin here last night. Yeah, you
said it was cool, but hedid not say it wasn't cool, So
I just stayed it in the US. The swimming one she kicked meidating,

(01:05:15):
Yeah, she is very tall.Uh, and and and the hair with
the colorization, and you know,and the looks and the you know,
just the whole package. You havea crush a crush on anything that moves.
Let's be clear anything everybody in theroom watching. Okay, this isn't

(01:05:39):
like anyway. Here's the deal wherewe should see land, you know,
in the next hour. So soyour time, he has pretty much done,
which is good because I think Ithink Tom's probably lived a whole lifetime
in the last four days. I'mgonna have to have twenty you to go

(01:06:00):
remove the swimming lady from my roombecause I'm scared to do it. Frankly.
Um, yeah, and I'll startpreparing you for for land. I
guess, uh, we're gonna landin the COO. Do you know anything
about the Coalian Aisles. You guysbeen here before, You're gonna need to
tell the first time, Okay,Coali and Aisles. But I do have
this coin, and I show themthe coin that I have from the fights.

(01:06:25):
It. Yeah, that's real.It's it's old though, it's outdated.
They don't use this no more.Okay, yeah, hands it back
to me. He's like, that'snot you know, they'll take it or
whatever. But it's like, that'sthat's old. That's probably fifty years old.
Man. Um Coalian Aisles. It'slike just currency. It doesn't mean
anything else. Uh, not tomeet from Lady Donalds. Yeah, Lady
Taro's had an owner and it hasscratched into yeah yeah yeah, um Coali

(01:06:51):
and Aisles. It's like it's likea hundred islands out here all right.
Lots of lots of tiny ones,you know, a couple, a couple
of large ones, but there's lotsof lots of super wealthy people who have
their own island with their own bigfucking house on which I love because we
can go and rate it on ourboat and then uh sell opium in the
city. So this is like paradiseas far as I'm concerned. Um,

(01:07:15):
you said you was looking for somebody. Yeah, we are. I mean
we're kind of looking for well dhis name's on the coin. Okay,
Yeah, so uh is he likesuper rich or something? Yeah, super
evil. Probably got a probably gota house somewhere in one of these islands,

(01:07:38):
no doubt. If you find thehouse, who probably find the guy.
You know. It's just I'm justI'm not an investigat all, as
they say, But that's what Iwas that phrase. Thank you. I
know I you told me about fourteentimes last night? Friend? Uh Bill
was there where Where's Phil did notdrink or do drugs all night? Fed

(01:08:02):
water, but he enjoyed it,and he was there for the investigators.
It's a list of um or anyrole of pe where where where? You
know what? We have the receipt. Uh, we have the receipt for
where shipped? Yes, the oneI found? Yeah, give it a
give it, let me take giveLosers takes a look at it. Oh

(01:08:27):
my god, this is uh,well I think I did this. I'm
being honest with you. What Yeah, no, I did this. This
is my receipt, Like, it'snot my hand I got chicken scratch handwriting,
you know, so it's not mine. It's my first mate. But
um, yeah, no, wedid this for sure. Yeah, he's
kind of an asshole, right,I don't. I don't think I met

(01:08:49):
him. I don't think I methim. Um, which, where did
you? Did you just unloaded offyour ship or did you bring your men
bring it somewhere? No, wewould have brought up to the island for
sure. Yeah, I know where. It's kind of where. Let me
talk to the first mate. I'llcome back and we'll see. Maybe we
could just go right there. Yeah, yes, makes sense, He goes,
I'm assuming you guys kind of gatheryour things. Yes, Um,

(01:09:12):
don't forget that bag. Yeah,I got I got the bag. I
got all my stuff in the bag. Bill sort of mops up all the
all the throw up that's in theroom. Somehow he got a mop.
No one knows how. Um,and Lucius comes back and put the mop
in my bag. Yeah, allright, I know where we're going.
Uh, and we just want togo right there? Is that the plan
just roll up is this a privateisland or all the private islands actually,

(01:09:40):
m hmmm, the land of onehundred isles. If they had like a
tourism thing, that would be itfor sure. So where do you if
if I didn't not to own anisland, I was just coming just stay.
Where would I go? There's amain the Kleian Maine is the main
island, um, and it's gotdocks that are publicly available. Somebody does

(01:10:01):
still own it, but you know, you can just pay a fee and
land there. Or we could godirectly to somebody's island. Most of the
islands have deep water ports and stuff, so we can pull right up to
them. Should we go strange toDavics or into town first? I kind
of feel like Straights of Davics ifwe have a lead on that. That's
fair. I could really use acoffee. Oh we all fully healed now
after a night? Yeah we allslept right, I mean you slept,

(01:10:25):
but after drinking a bunch of rumand doing some opium, so you're full
rested. Um, let's just sayeverybody else you slept late in the morning,
all right? We gotta eleven am. Just ask because I was like
almost dead. Yeah, fair enough, fair enough, all right, straight

(01:10:47):
to his place, it did.So he runs up the stairs and in
very short order, as you guyscan, kind of come up to the
deck with all of your equipment intow. Um. When you get up
there, there's this big green islandwith palm trees all over it, sprawled

(01:11:08):
out in front of you. It'slarge, but um like, you can
see the edges of the island oneither side, so you have a pretty
good sense of like how how bigit is or how small it is.
Rather in the middle is this fairlylarge estate, very unlike the purple man's.
It's not ostentatious, it's not gaudy. It's more like a fortress three
story tall, kind of kind ofa solidified tower. And on its lawn

(01:11:34):
stands a man about six feet talland a purple cloak waving. At next
time on night shift, palm treessway and a strong breeze, a saltyc
air, sobering you almost as muchas the site of a body jumping dark

(01:11:54):
Wizard of Unfold Power