September 11, 2023 • 50 mins
Actress Mariann Aalda joins Chris Cordani in the Outhouse Lounge Mariann, who has appeared in several movies and programs, is perhaps best known for playing Elizabeth, Red Foxx's Daughter on The Royal Family and DiDi Bannister-Stoner on The Edge of Night. We talk about her career and re-invention, "Didi's" place in TV history, a cool Redd Foxx story, ageism in Hollywood, how she helps others become "Age Disruptors" like her. Mariann also gives Chris some pointers.
Mariann's website; https://www.mariannaaldainherprime.com/
Follow us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/OuthouseLounge
Follow Chris on Twitter at @ChrisCordani1
Our website; outhouselounge.com
Mariann's website; https://www.mariannaaldainherprime.com/
Follow us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/OuthouseLounge
Follow Chris on Twitter at @ChrisCordani1
Our website; outhouselounge.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:05):
Welcome to the outhouse Lounge. Whatwe relax and talk about stuff. I'm
Chris Cordetti, your host. Quiteoften this show has been referred to as
old guys or old folks. Let'slet's let's make it kinder. People there
trying to remember stuff. Perhaps itis taking that into consideration. Joining me
(00:26):
in the lounge is somebody who mightbe able to fix me here. She's
an actress known for playing opposite thelikes of O. J. Simpson,
several other cool people, mom towrap her kid, and daughter of one
of my favorite comedians, Red Fox. Will played the daughter of Red Fox.
She wasn't the daughter of Red Fox. Let me make sure that happens.
(00:47):
She was. Also She also portrayedher rather prophetic nineteen ninety movies tennis
coach. She's also a famed agedisruptor. Again, somebody I'd love to
have on just because of that.She's done. Ted talks and coaches people
on the concept of shameless aging.Marianne Alda welcome, long Hi Chris,
(01:11):
thank you for having me. Andone clarification. I played rapper Kids mom.
I'm not prapper kids right right.See, I have to clarify that
I think you've played it. Iwent down the list and it's like,
oh yeah, I said, you'veplayed that's right. So you played rapper
kids mom right, and in themovie called Class Act and and Meshack Taylor
(01:33):
was my husband and he was alsoI also played his girlfriend on Designing Women.
So it's funny because I ran intohis wife, Bianca Ferguson, who
my background is soap operas. Herbackground is soap operas. I was on
Edge of Night when she was onGeneral Hospital, and I ran into her
at an addition one day and shesaid, girl, you in bed with
(01:55):
my husband more than I am.It's great. Let's jump into that.
I want to get into your shamelessaging because I've I've never met I've had
the two separately, shameless and aging, but I've never been able to put
them together. You're gonna help mewith that later on, but first I
do want to get into that becauseyou mentioned Edge of Night d D.
(02:15):
Your character was rather groundbreaking because thereweren't a lot of a lot of black
or African American actors or actresses insoap operas right, and a lot of
the the storylines were, you know, they were around the way girls you
know, they were from the wrongside of the tracks. Blah blah blah.
(02:38):
And I came along and I playedan attorney. And it was nineteen
eighty one when I started on thatshow, and I was the distaff half
of Calvin and Deed, which wasone of the first, you know,
black soap opera super couples, alongwith Angie and Jesse and all my children
(02:58):
and Ed and Carla on One Lifeto Live. And it was interesting because
I didn't realize that that character meantso much to so many people till it
started airing and I was I was. It was one Sunday. I was
had gone to church at Lincoln Center. I had gone to Alice Telly Hall,
(03:21):
the little coffee shop across the street. I walked into the coffee shop.
I saw an older black woman.Probably she's the age I am now.
Anyway, she was sitting in theback of the coffee shop and she
nodded, and I nodded, andthen I sat down and I was facing
the door. So when she wasleaving, she was going towards towards the
(03:43):
door, and she had to turnaround to face me. She turned around
and faced me. She copped mychin in her hand and she said,
oh, baby, it's so goodto see you on that show. And
so I bet I got goosebumps.And I realized that that character amount a
lot to a lot of people,especially uh, well, I think the
(04:04):
younger generation too, but especially theolder generation who had been through so much
and to see a character like Deityon Edge of Night was really meaningful to
them. So I wanted to makesure that I always played her with honor
and dignity. Oh it's a goodthing. And again, I never watched
soap oarpers that much when I wasyounger. My mother used to watch her
(04:25):
stories when I was growing up,so it was always all my children.
General Hospital and the other one thatwas it was it another World stubs Right
then we were on after oh,what was the one with the vampire?
Oh, Dark Shadows, Dark Shadows, And that was a half hour show,
(04:47):
and then Edge of Night was ahalf hour show, and we came
on I think after Dark Shadows beforeMickey mouse Club. I'm trying to get
it right, here you go,but there you go, Mickey mouse Club,
Dark Shadows and Edge of Night.That now in New York it was
General Hospital, then Edge of Night. I think that's what it was,
if I'm correct here. So mymother started watching that and again it's we
(05:12):
this is eighty one. Okay,you're talking about ten fifteen years after there
were a lot of major African Americancharacters and comedies and dramas, movies,
everything else. Soap propers were kindof a final frontier. I know we
don't have all the answers, butI'd like to ask you, with somebody
who was in the industry, whydo you think that is? I really
(05:35):
don't know. I think maybe itwas because of the The perception was that
daytime audiences were more homogeneous, homogeneous, homogeneous, something like that. I
(05:57):
know one is for milk, that'shomogenized. I know that's not the word,
but the same thing. I guess, right, yeah, I guess,
well, you have you do havechocolate milk? Now music Now,
I really don't know. You'd haveto ask somebody at the at the networks
of the studios. But I doremember in the late seventies I was a
(06:19):
member of the Screen Actors Guild andafter there were two separate unions before they
merged and after was the domain ofsoap operas, and I it was like
seventies eight seventy nine, the conventionalwisdom was that black actors, while trained
(06:43):
in the theater, were not trainedin uh in television, and that they
were the performances would be too big, too broad. And so after did
a lottery and they just matched.They had ten couples, ten men,
ten women. They put us togetherfor to do scenes, and each was
(07:04):
assigned a director from one of thesoaps, which back at that time,
during that time, there were elevensoap operas in New York, like Secret
Storm of Black. I mean,there were just a ton of soap operas.
And I want to disrupt that.I want to disrupt for a second.
I think disrupt because we're gonna doyour age disrupting thing. We're talking
about soap operas. Comedy television showshave been around for all these years,
(07:27):
so there's sort of dramas and thingslike that. You've had soap operas that
have dated back to the radio days. So we're talking about seventy plus years
of a full genre that hasn't thathad not invited a major African American character
like yours. And that's that's whatI found interesting. Well, you know,
and Agnes Nixon was the one whoreally aged with one life to live
(07:54):
and all my children. She broughton the characters of Carla. She started
off as carl Lebanari. We thoughtshe was a white actress and she actually
was playing an actress. And thenwe found out that Sadie was her mother
and that she was actually by racialand so that was a really provocative storyline
(08:18):
that was back in the seventies.And I was in college at the time
and I was watching that, andI watching that storyline made me believe that
I could be on television and Iand I wanted to be on a soap
opera. And you know, Iwhen I do motivational speaking to young people,
(08:39):
I tell them, you know,dream big, but sometimes you have
to see it to believe it.If you can't create it in your imagination,
you need some something outside of yourselfthat you can look at and stimulate
your imagination to make you think,you know, to make you believe that
you can have So that's why Ithink it's it's diversity. Equity and inclusion
(09:05):
is so important and why I amnow. You know, back in the
seventies eighties, I was very muchan advocate for UH diversity for people of
color for ethnic diversity. Now I'madvocating for age diversity, you know,
because in the you know, inthe rainbow diversity, rainbow gray is often
(09:31):
excluded. So so yeah, Ithink that that's that's really important because again
it's you know, Becca Levi hasa book out and she did a study
at Yale University and people who havea positive image of getting older live on
average seven and a half years longerthan people with a negative image about getting
(09:56):
older. So it's it's ruining ourlives, you know, it's killing us
basically when we see these images onnegative images on TV, and and it
just oh, I want to jumpinto that one. Have you ever seen
those Medicaid Martha commercials, the onesthat the old lady is sitting with a
(10:18):
huge glasses. I'm not even sureif she's really an elderly woman, but
she has he's some I thought shewas some young girl made up to look
like one because she has he's squinched. They she perpectly squnches her eyses,
these huge glasses, short hair,bangs on the remote and gets grouchy at
the narrator, going, I'm notcalling I medicates gonna be it's all the
rip off. I'm not calling.I just had this stubborn act. I'm
(10:39):
thinking, is this what advertising agenciesthink of people who are seventy five and
up? That is absolutely horrible,because that's not true. There are countries,
there are cultures in around around theworld, around the world that revere
their elderly, but that respect theirwisdom. This America and many of the
Western cultures are not them. No, but we're working on it. I
(11:01):
think, you know, the babyboomer generation, we're not aging like our
parents, and there are so manyof us, and now Gen X are
getting into middle age. My sonis Gen X and he'll be fifty in
January, and so now and thebaby Boomers are living longer, and so
(11:22):
now there are a lot more peoplecoming into this demographic of over fifty,
and we cannot be ignored. Duringthe pandemic, I was very much on
the Audio app Clubhouse, and therewere two categories. I'd go into the
older women and then the New Hollywoodrooms. And every time I would go
(11:46):
into the New Hollywood rooms, Iwould tell these the young writer, directors,
producers, you know, when youdo not write a nuanced, complicated,
interesting, vital, vibrant, olderwoman in your scripts. You're leaving
money on the table because if youbuild it, if you write it,
(12:09):
we will come. If you writeit, we will watch. And if
you write it and we watch itand you advertise it will buy your products.
Absolutely, I have something you probablyworked with. And again I was
a big fan of Red Foxes.You worked with two of the two of
the greatest older actors. I've hadgreat careers throughout their lives, but two
(12:33):
of the greatest older actors who Iwould consider maybe age disruptors before you were
an age disruptor in a different waybecause you're actually teaching whether people how to
do it. But Delares and RedFox you work with them as as the
daughter in the Great Comedy Royal Family, which unfortunately didn't live as long because
(12:54):
Star had a heart attack. Butwe'll get into that. Wasn't like working
with those guys because these are twolegends. Yeah, but you know what,
they were legends who had come upthe hard way, so they had
no attitude. They were It reallywas like a family. We really did
(13:20):
relate to one or relate to oneanother like a family. So it was
you know, and Read would sometimestell the executive producers listen, I've been
I'm a star already. Give someof these children. And he included me
as one of the children. Givesome of these children some of the lines.
Make them stars. Yeah, hewas very gracious and generous that way.
(13:43):
And Della was also a minister,a metaphysical minister. I kind of
like. So that's how they gotto make her the boss angel. I
get that. So when when shewent to Heaven, she became the boss
Angel. Now I understand why,right well, it was certainly typecasting,
and she used to have I wouldn'tsay Bible study, I would say spiritual
(14:07):
classes in her dressing room, youknow, during lunch, and we would
go in and she would you know, a lot of it was about keeping
us grounded, and she anyone couldcome into the and you know, not
just the cast, but the crew. Anyone who wanted to come in and
partake and participate was was more thanwelcome. And sometimes if there was a
(14:30):
tension on the set at all,you know, Della would say, okay,
you go over there, and Iwould go over here. We go
in opposite into the studio. Whenwe would meet in the in the middle,
and when she said we just pray, it up, We're gonna pray
up. Everything's gonna be fine today. And we would we start at either
end. We'd just you know,wave our hands and pray and ask God
to bless the studio and bless theshow, and we'd meet in the middle.
(14:52):
And you know, that's that's that'show we roll. It's funny because
you hear people say you don't wantto meet your favorite actors or actresses or
anything else like that, because youdon't want to lose the illusion of all
this. You want to like,you want to you want to know that,
you want to think that the peopleyou watch on TV are likable and
lovable. And this is what Iunderstand. How this is what I understand
(15:16):
about Della Reese. And people whohave talked about her on television or written
about her have always said they lovedher thoughts. Look absolutely. I was
fortunate enough to sit with her.She Now I don't know she was conscious
(15:41):
or not, but they said thatyou're hearing is the last to go,
and so I was, and shewas. She was at home, she
was doing hospice care at home.I remember sitting by her side and I
said, I remember saying to her, I said, now, listen when
you get up to heaven, Iwant another series. So will you work
(16:04):
on that for me? Because youknow you got the connections and I swear
to you. Her eyes started goingback and forth and she couldn't verbalize it,
but in my mind, maybe shewas just transmitting it. She said,
she was saying, you know howto do this shit, get it
your damn self, you know.So I don't know it was my imagination
(16:27):
or she was really, you know, telepathically setting me that message. But
that was Della. I mean,she was as much as she was spiritual,
she was she was salty. Ohshe could be salty, and she
was just you know, she wasreal. And she used to you know,
she was from Detroit, I'm fromChicago, and so we kind of
(16:52):
had that Detroit Chicago badass thing goingon. And one day she said to
me. I don't know what promptedher to say it, but she looked
at me one day she said,you know what, I wouldn't get into
a fight with you in a brownpaper bag. I have no idea what
that meant, but I took itas a compliment. I think it is
so Mary, And did that actuallyworked? You got the new series,
(17:14):
right, And I think what shemeant by that is, you know that
I am tenacious and I don't takeI don't take no for an answer.
So I think that's what she met, you know that. And with that
and she was I think maybe shesaw a bit of herself in me.
(17:38):
I think that's true. I wouldsay, because we had a good relationship.
I loved her. I want toget to your age disruptor thing.
But I'd be remiss if I didn'task you if you had a cool Red
Fox story for us. Oh,I've got a few. I'm in Okay.
When I first my first meeting withRed Fox, had already been cast
(18:00):
in the show, but I hadnot met the other members of the cast.
And so our first meeting was fora photo shoot at the CBS studios
and they I got a call.You know, they're gonna have hair and
makeup, but they asked if wewould bring some of our own wardrobe because
(18:21):
they hadn't fitted us, and youknow, they had our sizes, so
they had a few things, butthey said, bring some of your own
wardrobe. And back in the eighties, Laura Ashley, those kind of flowy
little house on the prairie looking dressesthat hadn't really no shape to them.
They're just kind of long and flouranyway, wardrobe put me in that dress
(18:41):
and then we and then we wentout for this on the set and Red
looked at me and he said towardrobe, can't we get her something else
to wear? And I said,read, this is my dress? And
he said, well then damn,let's take up a collection and buy this
(19:02):
child some clothes. And he said, he said, look, you got
a nice shape. Nobody can seeit. This is show business, baby,
you gotta show him something. Andhe made them go get some pins
and pin up the back of thedress and he looked at he said,
now that's better. And then helooked at my bosoms and he said,
and can't we get us some socksor something? You know, we got
(19:26):
that. We got the daughter over, the teenage daughter who's got a bigger
chest than my mama. That's notright. And they got socks and they,
you know, put they put socksin my stuff, my bra with
socks, and so they whenever wewould have tape days, I had special
(19:47):
bras, you know, push uppadded bras, and I remember we were
having a rehearsal and day and Redsaid, where's your chest? Said,
it's in waterdrobe. He said,no, no, baby, I gotta
watch, I gotta look at youall the time. It's only fifteen hundred
dollars. I can buy you some. And so I mean, he's just
just tease me. So what Idid was I went to the scenic department
(20:11):
and then I had them build uplike a forty four quadruple D fake chest.
They painted at the right collar.I went to wardrobe. They gave
me a big breakaway blouse. Andone day Red was who was having some
health issues. So back in theday when there were four cameras sets,
(20:36):
multi cams and we would shoot everythingon a sound stage, we would do
two audiences on a Friday night andtape to have a committ show coming at
six and then maybe at eight andor maybe five and whatever. That's not
important. The important thing is thatwe've gotten into the habit of the routine
(20:57):
of taping our dress rehearsal the daybefore and then just doing one show on
Friday night in front of a liveaudience. So it was tape day.
The cameras are rolling, Red issitting in Grandpa's chair, which is the
back of the doors behind front doorsbehind him, and Della's character is supposed
(21:18):
to be coming in with a bagof groceries, and she yells through the
door Al, because his name wasAl. A character's name is al,
Al, come help me with thesegroceries. And he gets somebody the chair
and turns around and is said,I come through the door with this big
chest and then a breakaway blouse justand Della said he would hit. He
was like you know, and likein Sanford's Son, he would just go
(21:41):
like this. And my character's namewas Elizabeth. He would go like oh
oh, and he couldn't say anything. And Della said, she got you
good, didn't she read she sayanything? You're gonna live her alone now
because she got you good. Andactually the very next week is when he
(22:02):
had his fatal heart attack on theset and I thought my flashing him was
maybe too much for him, soI guess he was upset. He wasn't
abreast of the situation. That wasa bad joke, Chris, but we'll
let us slide. It was prettyhorrible, but I'm known for my bad
jokes, so it's good. Okay. That's why I'm not on television.
That's what I wasn't in the royalfamily like you were. Okay, so
(22:26):
fit right in. I'm pretty darncute, I guess you know. Marianne
Alda is with me on the outhouselounge. We want to talk about this
because you are something of an agedisruptor. That's your new business. That's
that's that's how you reinvented yourself.Now you are back in acting. You
(22:48):
aren't doing stand up. We're goingto get into that again. But I
have age knocked down. I havethe shameless part, uh kind of down
pet, but the aging shamelessly thing. I need some help, So can
you help me out a little bit? Sure I can do that. When
I hit my early fifties, thecasting directors just stopped calling me. And
(23:15):
I had a great run, agreat, good thirty year career in television.
But that's, you know, allI did. I just acted and
that paid my bills, and suddenlythey stopped calling me. And then I
realized that a lot, a lotof my career I had been the appendage
to a man. I played alot of wives, a lot of girlfriends.
(23:40):
You know, the pretty girl andwhat do you do with the pretty
girl when she gets old. Hollywoodisn't know what to do with there.
My agent at the time suggested thatI gained fifty pounds so that I could
do more character work. Hold ona second. You normally agents tell their
female actresses to lose weight. Oh, your two pounds overweight. You gotta
(24:00):
do some more push it, theytold. He told you that I'm gonna
stop. He told you to gainfifty pounds to be unhealthy at this point,
Well, but keep in mind therethere was when it comes to black
actresses, black actresses of color,mature black women. There he was suggesting
(24:21):
that I go for the big MoMAroles Perry for that. Now, well,
yeah, most most and most ofthe big Mamas were played the successful
big Mamas were played by men TylerPerry and Martin Lawrence. Uh. And
I thought, no, I that'sthat's not me right, high blood pressure
(24:42):
and diabetes runs in my family.Wasn't going to ruin my health. And
also, I am adverse to playingany kind of stereotype, and I want
to change the negative stereotypes. SoI thought, well, I'll just go
back to the stage. Because Iactually started out in theater in New York
(25:04):
and but before that, I meanI had to make a living. I
think actors have a natural curiosity aboutabout human behavior and motivation. So I
spent a year in training to becomea hypnotherapist. You can probably learn to
(25:25):
hypnotize somebody in a weekend, butto use it therapeutically takes longer. I
trained at the Hypnosis Motivation Institute inTarzana, California, and most of my
clients when I started my residency there, most of my clients were women from
that area, from the Tarzano andSina and Sino area, and they had
(25:45):
everything a lot very well to do. A lot of them were empty nesters,
but they were successful in their careers. They had successful husbands, but
they were depressed. And I realizedthat we as a culture have all have
all been hypnotized into believing that womenlose value and social and sexual currency with
(26:10):
age, and my job was todehypnotize them and snap them out of that
trance. Now, the interesting thingis actors are highly suggestible, so that
I was as I was giving myclients the positive suggestions, they took root
in my own subconscious mind and Ireclaimed my acting career, and that's when
I thought I'm going to go backto the stage. And my very first
(26:30):
solo show I did at the auditoriumat the Institute and it was called Snap
out of It. You've only beenhypnotized into believing you're over the hell.
And from that I was on aroll. I did sketch comedy with a
trio called Three Black Chicks. LolaLoave, Iona Morris and myself. We
(26:55):
did a sketch show called Heratica andit was about we've just played these sexy,
crazy characters, you know, thegoddess of love. I played the
Stepford wife and Iona's character was thegoddess of sexual freedom. I think maybe
(27:17):
the lotless sexual freedom, and Ionawas the goddess of love. Anyway,
we were all goddesses. Yeah,and we did and we did these funny
little sketches and little songs on littlesketches about getting older. And when I
do my stand up, excuse me, when I do my stand up,
I I talk about getting older,but I don't do self deprecating humor because
(27:44):
the thing about the subconscious mind isit doesn't get the joke. It takes
what you say it at your wordand it takes it seriously. So when
we say things like oh I'm gettingold, Oh I'm so tired, the
subconscious mind here is that and accordingto that belief system, you will behave
accordingly. So that's why it isso important for us to do to be
(28:11):
careful about what Della used to say. She had a saying, be careful
about what you're thinking about. Whenyou're not thinking about what you're thinking about,
meaning those little random thoughts of oh, I'm so tired, oh I'm
getting old, that you're not thinkingabout it, but your subconscious mind is
(28:32):
hearing every word. So you haveto be consciously aware and catch yourself before
you you program you're subconscious into makingyou older than you need to be.
Because you say, oh I'm gettingold, your shoe, your shoulders will
do. You'll feel bad about yourself. You just kind of like fall into
that behavior. But if you sayI love myself and whatever age I am,
(28:56):
I'm in great, you know you'llthrow your shoulders back. You'll face
the world differently. The world willface you differently, and that's important.
So you're saying the opposite of thedoctor Smith approach works perfectly. I'm sorry,
I can't do anything. My poorback hurts. Well, I think
I'm a little too old for this. Well maybe you can do this from
a Yeah you're a bubbleheaded booby.Yeah, now it's it's really really and
(29:23):
you know, I I frequently getI don't know if it's the way I
look my energy whatever. When Isay that i'm seventy five, people say,
oh, you're nuts, You're notseventy five, you're not old.
Or if I say I'm old,yeah I'm old. I don't have a
(29:45):
problem with that. On the onthe spectrum of young versus old, I'm
on that end of the spectrum,and I don't have a problem with that.
I think we need to take backthat word and then just look at
it non mentally and stop projecting allthis negative onto it. I'm an older
(30:07):
woman. I don't have a problemwith that, But I don't fit the
stereotype that culturally we see, andthat needs to change because I know a
lot of older women my age whoare just like me. We're just as
you know, fresh and sassy asany light. Yes, yeah, I
(30:30):
don't prefer to call myself old either. I prefer to say to these younger
people, I'm born at a morecomfortable distance from the apocalypse. You know,
I can. I use that's agood one. I've been I was
born in a more comfortable distance fromthe apocalypse. That's scary, perfect,
(30:52):
that's a good comeback. And atthe steam time, we could annoy young
people by pretending not to be ableto hear them. See, that's the
good thing about it. Again,get a little older. Oh no,
no, no, I love youknow. I do not discriminate, you
know ages, No, I know, but again, the subconscious of mind
isn't getting it. So I andI do believe that that the generations need
(31:17):
to work together because the younger generationhelps us and agism. You know,
they're helping their future selves, youknow because as agent, if they are
agists right now, they're discriminating againsttheir future selves. So they have a
vested interest in eliminating agism as well. It would be nice. Yeah,
there are too many occupations. I'min radio, so I'm in the same
(31:41):
boat with you as an actress.A lot of the producers will think we're
too old for things radio and TV. It's a it's a young man's game
now. The fact is, though, there are a lot of other businesses
too, it's very hard for peopleover fifty to find work. That's not
a good thing. How do youhow do you help a clan who says,
(32:02):
Maryanne, I've I've been through this. I have a lot of experience,
I have a lot of things toshare. I want to I've expanded
my skill set and everything else.I'm fifty something, sixty something, and
still people are are are hesitant tohire me for what I can what I
can bring them. Well, Ithink, well, first of all,
the culture needs to change. That'san absolute. I think corporate America is
(32:24):
becoming more socially conscious about that,about about age discrimination. It definitely falls
under the you know d EI realmand you can only work on yourself.
(32:46):
Because I fall into that category whereI do not want the government to get
involved in anything like that. Idon't really I don't want the government to
force somebody to quote a me intoanything. What I want to do is,
uh, we should there should bekind of mentality change on our end,
Like you're helping people right now,you're helping people on our end the
older scale, change our own mentality. We have to do that to help
(33:07):
change the mentality of those who arehiring and those who are bring people into
their organizations. Yeah, right,Well, the government doesn't have to get
involved, but corporate America does havea responsibility to its employees and to its
workforce and to create a safe workingenvironment where everyone feels welcome and appreciate it
(33:29):
and that and they will get theirbest work out of them too. And
I do believe that that corporate Americais beginning to realize that agism is not
cost effective. It's costing them moneyto you know, it's like when somebody's
getting like I always say about acting, just when I'm getting really really good
(33:50):
at it, you're gonna kick meout. You know. That's how crazy
is that when you've practiced all thoseyears too, all those years. I've
got my ten thousand hours, probablytwenty. It's funny our generations, both
I'm an ex and you're a boomer. Our generation has grown up with the
work ethic. Okay, and alot of young people do have a good
(34:10):
work ethic, but we do hearabout the quiet quitting and the the what's
that the bare minimum? Mondays.I understand there's not the majority of people,
but this is something that could trendworse. Maybe having some more older
people in one's organization will help instilla work ethic and maybe teach some skills
to younger people. Just just athought. But maybe I'm maybe I'm off
(34:34):
base here, Maybe I should gainfifty No no, no, no,
well how about hold up here?You know, there's something to be said
for bare minimum mondays and quiet quittingin because maybe that is in response to
the expectation from corporate America to havefewer people do the same amount of work.
(34:55):
Interesting point, and you know,and what they're at, what they're
doing is you know, it's it'sit's like in Europe and they've been in
some companies have been experimenting with afour day week. When you have a
four day week and you have youryour employees have three days off to really
relax and rejuvenate. When you comeback to the job, you can you're
(35:15):
more productive. So do we needa whipping a chair to make people work
or do It's a different story,I guess no, no, whipping a
chair, no, no, no, uh, but I think it's I
(35:36):
think we we have to be sociallyconscious. And some of these young people
have some really pretty good ideas becauseas you said, you know, we
my generation maybe genet. You knowyour generation too. You know that has
that hard work ethic, but hasit served us well? Has it served
our families? And you know there'sa lot so many divorces would because it
(36:00):
was the quality of life that isimportant too. So I think the two
generations have a lot to learn fromeach other. So I'm all for minimum.
What is it minimum? They're minimum? Mondays, I like to hit
the ground running on Monday. Mondayis the day I like to start getting
things done so I can set thetone for the rest of the week.
(36:21):
But I understand where you're coming fromhere, a better balance between between one's
work and life. You and Iwe run our own businesses. You were
an acting I suppose you're no strangerto sixteen hour days. Oh no,
I always say I am not anine to five person. I'm a twenty
four seven person, right. Youknow, I do the work when it
needs to be done because when I'mnot working as an actor, I'm creating
(36:45):
work for myself to get work asan actor exactly. So you're always doing
something, which, which again isimportant. I think when younger people get
older, learning that kind of scskill set will benefit them as well.
So maybe somewhere in between is thes. Well, you know, there
are a lot of young people whoare twenty four seven people as well.
(37:06):
You know that they're they're doing theirgigs and they're doing their entreprene you know,
entrepreneur things. They're starting stuff.You know, they're yeah, they
might be on social media, butthey're learning how to monetize it exactly.
So I think that that's that's important. I remember having a conversation with my
grandson when he was around eleven.He's sixteen now, but he's and he's
(37:31):
a real smart kid. I don'tjust say that, I mean he's an
honors he's a smart kid actually andso, but he was in class and
sometimes he wasn't applying himself and performingup to his potential. And but during
the it was interesting because during thepandemic, when he was left to doing
(37:52):
a lot of work on his own, he it was a whole different thing.
And it has continued on in highschool. So now he's on the
honor roll and everything all the time. But he said to me, I
asked him what he wanted to bewhen he grew up, and he said,
I don't know. And I said, I said, well, do
you want to be a teacher,because his sister at the time wanted to
(38:13):
be a teacher. And he said, no, Nana, there's no money
in it. Really, I said, okay, and then he he said
to me, look Annah, youknow, I'm kind of a slacker and
I have to be able to makeenough money so that I can afford to
do that. So in his mind, you know what, he was calling
(38:37):
himself a slacker, or maybe thathad been projected onto him, you know,
by his teachers or whatnot, thathe was slacking off. He realized
that about himself, and he realized, if I want to run my life
the way I want to run mylife, that I better make a lot
of money. And he's now he'sa very entrepreneurial, you know, conscious
(39:04):
kind of guy. And when Isaid when he turned sixteen, I said,
oh, how does it feel tobe sixteen? He said, great,
now I can get a job,you know. So, So I
think when we recognize ourselves and whatwhat what our passion is what drives us?
Because I think too many people areunhappy because they're trying to fit their
(39:28):
round peg into a square round hole. You know what I'm saying, A
round peg into a square hole.No, we're square square peg into a
round hole. Trying to fit kidshaircut into a hat. Okay, yeah,
here you go. We just kindof rest on top. I think,
Yeah, I like the hair.I like it a lot. It's
(39:49):
good stuff. Yeah, it's kindof going back now, but now they
have like little twisties and stain length, a little twisties and stuff going on.
I think that's a new look.You see the industry improving and its
attitude towards older actors and actresses nowand as far as acting television movies,
slowly but surely. But again,I don't think it's uh. I don't
(40:13):
think it's from any sense of socialconsciousness on the part of the studios.
I think it's more them responding tothe marketplace because there are a lot more
older people and we want to seewhat we want to see. You know,
some of the some of the bigblock mustbuster movies that were aimed at
teenage boys didn't do that well inthe in the box office this summer.
(40:39):
That's also interesting. Yes, yeah, but movies like Oppenheimer made for adult
audiences, the mature adult they didwell. And Barbie was made for girls
and women and you know women whogrew up with head Barbie. So so
the when it comes to the entertainmentindustry, the industry is responses to the
(41:00):
audience. And right now, whenthere are so many different platforms and streamers
and so many people able to createentertainment on their own, they have to
become much more responsible. And theyare becoming more responsible because everybody's chasing after
(41:20):
the same audience, and so they'vegot to build a better product because to
capture that audience. So I thinkthey're being more consciously aware of the audience
and what needs to happen. Let'ssay somebody kills you up, Maryanne and
says I need your help. Ineed I need to change my attitude.
I need to change my trajectory andmy career, my life because I feel
(41:42):
like I'm getting old, but Iknow I have plenty of great years ahead
of me. I want to beenergetic, I want to work and I
want to enjoy life. I wantto travel, I want to skip around.
And yeah, maybe I want todo a commercial or two. All
right, maybe maybe nobody wants meto do one because they have the face
for radio. But the point I'mtrying to make is what what What are
you tell them? What's your what'syour first step? What do you what's
(42:05):
the first change you like a lotof these people to make. Okay,
first, I'm gonna start with you, Chris. You just said I had
a face for radio. But thesulfconscious mind doesn't get the job. I'm
telling you. So I have devisedsnap out of It technique and I'm writing
(42:28):
a book. So have me backon when I finished the book. We
will, but I will share sharewith your listeners right now. It's snap
out of It S doubles, doubleN, triple A, triple P.
So it's snap out of It.Starts with self love, self care,
(42:49):
the n neural linguistic programming, whichis self talk, no, the power
of no, acceptance, awareness,acceptance of appreciation, purpose, passion,
and pride. Those ten steps,and I will just tell you how to
how to begin with the first two. Self love. When you get up
(43:13):
in the morning and you're brushing yourteeth and you're looking into the mirror,
look into your eyes and tell yourselfI love you. You would say I
love you, Chris, I loveyou. Just say it ten times,
or say as many times as ittakes. Suppression feets say about loud,
say it to yourself. Just tellyourself I love you. Look into your
eyes, your subconscious mind, lookat the message. The next is self
(43:36):
love, I mean self care.So often, especially for women, we
just go through the day and toget stuff done. We do whatever needs
to be done, and we don'ttake the time to do something kind for
ourselves, and the universe will treatus the way we treat ourselves. So
make and it's set an intention todo something good for yourself that day.
(44:02):
Whether it's maybe it's to buy asalad instead of a burger, even though
the salad might cost a little more. Maybe it's taking setting fifteen minutes aside
to just meditate and chill and justjust breathe in and breathe out and imagine
the life that you want to have. But set the intention to do something
(44:25):
positive for yourself, because the wholeday will go by and you will never
have done it, and it becomesa habit. And once you set positive
habits, then you're really on aroll. You don't even have to think
about it anymore. Good because I'ma positive guy. Anybody will tell you
I'm a positive guy. I likeballoons too, that's a different story.
(44:46):
Okay, I had I had somebubble this weekend. I went to an
outdoor concert. I was gonna blowsome bubbles for you, but they're downstairs.
I gotta blow some now after afterthe show. Oh well, and
balloon animals. But bubbles and balloonanimals I always love. But again,
that's again, that's a different storyfor a different time. Yeah, we
(45:07):
will definitely get you on for thebook. But how can people who are
watching and listening to the program learnmore about you and UH and your services
aging shamelessly and a lot more well, I would say connect with me on
Instagram at Marianne Alda underscore aging shamelessly. If you google me, all of
(45:28):
this stuff will come up. Ifyou can't remember the two ages, two
as and Alda. Yes, norelation to Allen. No relation to Allen.
I always say Southern Italian and thencould of my Ted talk my Ted
talk and I've given it a url. Agism is a bully ted dot com.
(45:52):
That's agism spelled with an age.I s m Agism is a bully
ted dot com. It's a shortvideo and it's very motivational, and I
think everybody will get something out ofit, you know. Just yeah,
listen to the Ted Talk. It'sread on your website. We're wondering,
(46:14):
and see what resonates for you.Yeah, but if you don't want to
go through the whole website, yeah, you don't have to just go talk.
You can find it. Yeah.Yeah, I I don't need to
promote myself, I really, butI that is my gift to people that
I that I kind of have developedthis philosophy of life and maybe will have
(46:40):
heard this some things that you mighthave heard before, but it might resonate
with you a little differently. Socheck out the text talk and you know,
send it to your friends who youthink might need to see the need
to hear it, and then waitfor the book. Well, we're gonna
have you on when the book comesup. I want to thank you very
much for being with me, beingwith me here on the on the outhouse
(47:02):
lounge, Mary Anne Hope. Boy, that's it, and that's you know,
it happens. You know, likeyou say, we're having a senior
moment. When were you in highschool when you couldn't find remember where you
put your keys? Were you havinga sophomore moment? No, it just
happens. You're being human, Chris. It's just being human. Now,
(47:23):
I'm being me. I'm always losingmy keys or losing something here and there.
Okay, you know why, becauseyou just told yourself I'm always losing
things, so you will. It'sbecoming a self fulfilling prophecy. Just say,
okay, here's a little another littletakeaway. When you find yourself doing
something like that. Instead of saying, oh, I did it again,
(47:45):
just say, look at it withcuriosity. M that's curious. I can't
find might think keys again. Ihave to do better about that. I
was thinking, I say, canI do that? All right? Okay,
Mary, I think you have Ithink you've missed your calling. I
(48:07):
think you should be doing stand upKent. Oh yeah, right now,
I'm doing some sitdown comedy. ButI've always wanted to be a stand up
comedian. Then do it, doit? Maybe I will give that a
shot one day. I should.I tried that a couple of times before,
but apparently the nineteen nineties and medoing stint up comedy we're not a
good mix. But that's a differentstory for a different day. If I
(48:28):
wonder if i'd be a mix fornow, oh my gosh, anyway down
heavily. But listen, at theI feel that disappointment about things not working
out. It's a lot easier tolive with than regret for not having tried.
True, if you get punched inthe nose, you get up,
(48:49):
dust yourself off, and me,yeah, go right at it again.
That I definitely agree with. AndI really thank you for coming on with
us here, Mary, And itwas fun talking TV with you. It
was fun talking your career and wedidn't even get to the whole thing.
We're gonna have to do some ofthat with your book, so be ready
to talk about working with the ogrefrom Revenge of the Nerds on first and
ten. I loved him. Hewas great. But on the other hand,
(49:13):
once again, check out check outMary Anne's website that of course is
uh was it? Mary Anne marianin her Prime dot com. There we
go, Mary in her Prime dotcom and the book's coming out soon,
Mary and Allda the Age Disruptor.And yes, check out clips of the
Royal Family on YouTube because I wasgoing through that rabbit hole and it was
(49:35):
a lot of fun. Maryann,again, thank you for being with me,
and thank you all for joining uson the Outhhouse. Lu thanks Remy,
by everybody,
Welcome to the outhouse Lounge. Whatwe relax and talk about stuff. I'm
Chris Cordetti, your host. Quiteoften this show has been referred to as
old guys or old folks. Let'slet's let's make it kinder. People there
trying to remember stuff. Perhaps itis taking that into consideration. Joining me
(00:26):
in the lounge is somebody who mightbe able to fix me here. She's
an actress known for playing opposite thelikes of O. J. Simpson,
several other cool people, mom towrap her kid, and daughter of one
of my favorite comedians, Red Fox. Will played the daughter of Red Fox.
She wasn't the daughter of Red Fox. Let me make sure that happens.
(00:47):
She was. Also She also portrayedher rather prophetic nineteen ninety movies tennis
coach. She's also a famed agedisruptor. Again, somebody I'd love to
have on just because of that.She's done. Ted talks and coaches people
on the concept of shameless aging.Marianne Alda welcome, long Hi Chris,
(01:11):
thank you for having me. Andone clarification. I played rapper Kids mom.
I'm not prapper kids right right.See, I have to clarify that
I think you've played it. Iwent down the list and it's like,
oh yeah, I said, you'veplayed that's right. So you played rapper
kids mom right, and in themovie called Class Act and and Meshack Taylor
(01:33):
was my husband and he was alsoI also played his girlfriend on Designing Women.
So it's funny because I ran intohis wife, Bianca Ferguson, who
my background is soap operas. Herbackground is soap operas. I was on
Edge of Night when she was onGeneral Hospital, and I ran into her
at an addition one day and shesaid, girl, you in bed with
(01:55):
my husband more than I am.It's great. Let's jump into that.
I want to get into your shamelessaging because I've I've never met I've had
the two separately, shameless and aging, but I've never been able to put
them together. You're gonna help mewith that later on, but first I
do want to get into that becauseyou mentioned Edge of Night d D.
(02:15):
Your character was rather groundbreaking because thereweren't a lot of a lot of black
or African American actors or actresses insoap operas right, and a lot of
the the storylines were, you know, they were around the way girls you
know, they were from the wrongside of the tracks. Blah blah blah.
(02:38):
And I came along and I playedan attorney. And it was nineteen
eighty one when I started on thatshow, and I was the distaff half
of Calvin and Deed, which wasone of the first, you know,
black soap opera super couples, alongwith Angie and Jesse and all my children
(02:58):
and Ed and Carla on One Lifeto Live. And it was interesting because
I didn't realize that that character meantso much to so many people till it
started airing and I was I was. It was one Sunday. I was
had gone to church at Lincoln Center. I had gone to Alice Telly Hall,
(03:21):
the little coffee shop across the street. I walked into the coffee shop.
I saw an older black woman.Probably she's the age I am now.
Anyway, she was sitting in theback of the coffee shop and she
nodded, and I nodded, andthen I sat down and I was facing
the door. So when she wasleaving, she was going towards towards the
(03:43):
door, and she had to turnaround to face me. She turned around
and faced me. She copped mychin in her hand and she said,
oh, baby, it's so goodto see you on that show. And
so I bet I got goosebumps.And I realized that that character amount a
lot to a lot of people,especially uh, well, I think the
(04:04):
younger generation too, but especially theolder generation who had been through so much
and to see a character like Deityon Edge of Night was really meaningful to
them. So I wanted to makesure that I always played her with honor
and dignity. Oh it's a goodthing. And again, I never watched
soap oarpers that much when I wasyounger. My mother used to watch her
(04:25):
stories when I was growing up,so it was always all my children.
General Hospital and the other one thatwas it was it another World stubs Right
then we were on after oh,what was the one with the vampire?
Oh, Dark Shadows, Dark Shadows, And that was a half hour show,
(04:47):
and then Edge of Night was ahalf hour show, and we came
on I think after Dark Shadows beforeMickey mouse Club. I'm trying to get
it right, here you go,but there you go, Mickey mouse Club,
Dark Shadows and Edge of Night.That now in New York it was
General Hospital, then Edge of Night. I think that's what it was,
if I'm correct here. So mymother started watching that and again it's we
(05:12):
this is eighty one. Okay,you're talking about ten fifteen years after there
were a lot of major African Americancharacters and comedies and dramas, movies,
everything else. Soap propers were kindof a final frontier. I know we
don't have all the answers, butI'd like to ask you, with somebody
who was in the industry, whydo you think that is? I really
(05:35):
don't know. I think maybe itwas because of the The perception was that
daytime audiences were more homogeneous, homogeneous, homogeneous, something like that. I
(05:57):
know one is for milk, that'shomogenized. I know that's not the word,
but the same thing. I guess, right, yeah, I guess,
well, you have you do havechocolate milk? Now music Now,
I really don't know. You'd haveto ask somebody at the at the networks
of the studios. But I doremember in the late seventies I was a
(06:19):
member of the Screen Actors Guild andafter there were two separate unions before they
merged and after was the domain ofsoap operas, and I it was like
seventies eight seventy nine, the conventionalwisdom was that black actors, while trained
(06:43):
in the theater, were not trainedin uh in television, and that they
were the performances would be too big, too broad. And so after did
a lottery and they just matched.They had ten couples, ten men,
ten women. They put us togetherfor to do scenes, and each was
(07:04):
assigned a director from one of thesoaps, which back at that time,
during that time, there were elevensoap operas in New York, like Secret
Storm of Black. I mean,there were just a ton of soap operas.
And I want to disrupt that.I want to disrupt for a second.
I think disrupt because we're gonna doyour age disrupting thing. We're talking
about soap operas. Comedy television showshave been around for all these years,
(07:27):
so there's sort of dramas and thingslike that. You've had soap operas that
have dated back to the radio days. So we're talking about seventy plus years
of a full genre that hasn't thathad not invited a major African American character
like yours. And that's that's whatI found interesting. Well, you know,
and Agnes Nixon was the one whoreally aged with one life to live
(07:54):
and all my children. She broughton the characters of Carla. She started
off as carl Lebanari. We thoughtshe was a white actress and she actually
was playing an actress. And thenwe found out that Sadie was her mother
and that she was actually by racialand so that was a really provocative storyline
(08:18):
that was back in the seventies.And I was in college at the time
and I was watching that, andI watching that storyline made me believe that
I could be on television and Iand I wanted to be on a soap
opera. And you know, Iwhen I do motivational speaking to young people,
(08:39):
I tell them, you know,dream big, but sometimes you have
to see it to believe it.If you can't create it in your imagination,
you need some something outside of yourselfthat you can look at and stimulate
your imagination to make you think,you know, to make you believe that
you can have So that's why Ithink it's it's diversity. Equity and inclusion
(09:05):
is so important and why I amnow. You know, back in the
seventies eighties, I was very muchan advocate for UH diversity for people of
color for ethnic diversity. Now I'madvocating for age diversity, you know,
because in the you know, inthe rainbow diversity, rainbow gray is often
(09:31):
excluded. So so yeah, Ithink that that's that's really important because again
it's you know, Becca Levi hasa book out and she did a study
at Yale University and people who havea positive image of getting older live on
average seven and a half years longerthan people with a negative image about getting
(09:56):
older. So it's it's ruining ourlives, you know, it's killing us
basically when we see these images onnegative images on TV, and and it
just oh, I want to jumpinto that one. Have you ever seen
those Medicaid Martha commercials, the onesthat the old lady is sitting with a
(10:18):
huge glasses. I'm not even sureif she's really an elderly woman, but
she has he's some I thought shewas some young girl made up to look
like one because she has he's squinched. They she perpectly squnches her eyses,
these huge glasses, short hair,bangs on the remote and gets grouchy at
the narrator, going, I'm notcalling I medicates gonna be it's all the
rip off. I'm not calling.I just had this stubborn act. I'm
(10:39):
thinking, is this what advertising agenciesthink of people who are seventy five and
up? That is absolutely horrible,because that's not true. There are countries,
there are cultures in around around theworld, around the world that revere
their elderly, but that respect theirwisdom. This America and many of the
Western cultures are not them. No, but we're working on it. I
(11:01):
think, you know, the babyboomer generation, we're not aging like our
parents, and there are so manyof us, and now Gen X are
getting into middle age. My sonis Gen X and he'll be fifty in
January, and so now and thebaby Boomers are living longer, and so
(11:22):
now there are a lot more peoplecoming into this demographic of over fifty,
and we cannot be ignored. Duringthe pandemic, I was very much on
the Audio app Clubhouse, and therewere two categories. I'd go into the
older women and then the New Hollywoodrooms. And every time I would go
(11:46):
into the New Hollywood rooms, Iwould tell these the young writer, directors,
producers, you know, when youdo not write a nuanced, complicated,
interesting, vital, vibrant, olderwoman in your scripts. You're leaving
money on the table because if youbuild it, if you write it,
(12:09):
we will come. If you writeit, we will watch. And if
you write it and we watch itand you advertise it will buy your products.
Absolutely, I have something you probablyworked with. And again I was
a big fan of Red Foxes.You worked with two of the two of
the greatest older actors. I've hadgreat careers throughout their lives, but two
(12:33):
of the greatest older actors who Iwould consider maybe age disruptors before you were
an age disruptor in a different waybecause you're actually teaching whether people how to
do it. But Delares and RedFox you work with them as as the
daughter in the Great Comedy Royal Family, which unfortunately didn't live as long because
(12:54):
Star had a heart attack. Butwe'll get into that. Wasn't like working
with those guys because these are twolegends. Yeah, but you know what,
they were legends who had come upthe hard way, so they had
no attitude. They were It reallywas like a family. We really did
(13:20):
relate to one or relate to oneanother like a family. So it was
you know, and Read would sometimestell the executive producers listen, I've been
I'm a star already. Give someof these children. And he included me
as one of the children. Givesome of these children some of the lines.
Make them stars. Yeah, hewas very gracious and generous that way.
(13:43):
And Della was also a minister,a metaphysical minister. I kind of
like. So that's how they gotto make her the boss angel. I
get that. So when when shewent to Heaven, she became the boss
Angel. Now I understand why,right well, it was certainly typecasting,
and she used to have I wouldn'tsay Bible study, I would say spiritual
(14:07):
classes in her dressing room, youknow, during lunch, and we would
go in and she would you know, a lot of it was about keeping
us grounded, and she anyone couldcome into the and you know, not
just the cast, but the crew. Anyone who wanted to come in and
partake and participate was was more thanwelcome. And sometimes if there was a
(14:30):
tension on the set at all,you know, Della would say, okay,
you go over there, and Iwould go over here. We go
in opposite into the studio. Whenwe would meet in the in the middle,
and when she said we just pray, it up, We're gonna pray
up. Everything's gonna be fine today. And we would we start at either
end. We'd just you know,wave our hands and pray and ask God
to bless the studio and bless theshow, and we'd meet in the middle.
(14:52):
And you know, that's that's that'show we roll. It's funny because
you hear people say you don't wantto meet your favorite actors or actresses or
anything else like that, because youdon't want to lose the illusion of all
this. You want to like,you want to you want to know that,
you want to think that the peopleyou watch on TV are likable and
lovable. And this is what Iunderstand. How this is what I understand
(15:16):
about Della Reese. And people whohave talked about her on television or written
about her have always said they lovedher thoughts. Look absolutely. I was
fortunate enough to sit with her.She Now I don't know she was conscious
(15:41):
or not, but they said thatyou're hearing is the last to go,
and so I was, and shewas. She was at home, she
was doing hospice care at home.I remember sitting by her side and I
said, I remember saying to her, I said, now, listen when
you get up to heaven, Iwant another series. So will you work
(16:04):
on that for me? Because youknow you got the connections and I swear
to you. Her eyes started goingback and forth and she couldn't verbalize it,
but in my mind, maybe shewas just transmitting it. She said,
she was saying, you know howto do this shit, get it
your damn self, you know.So I don't know it was my imagination
(16:27):
or she was really, you know, telepathically setting me that message. But
that was Della. I mean,she was as much as she was spiritual,
she was she was salty. Ohshe could be salty, and she
was just you know, she wasreal. And she used to you know,
she was from Detroit, I'm fromChicago, and so we kind of
(16:52):
had that Detroit Chicago badass thing goingon. And one day she said to
me. I don't know what promptedher to say it, but she looked
at me one day she said,you know what, I wouldn't get into
a fight with you in a brownpaper bag. I have no idea what
that meant, but I took itas a compliment. I think it is
so Mary, And did that actuallyworked? You got the new series,
(17:14):
right, And I think what shemeant by that is, you know that
I am tenacious and I don't takeI don't take no for an answer.
So I think that's what she met, you know that. And with that
and she was I think maybe shesaw a bit of herself in me.
(17:38):
I think that's true. I wouldsay, because we had a good relationship.
I loved her. I want toget to your age disruptor thing.
But I'd be remiss if I didn'task you if you had a cool Red
Fox story for us. Oh,I've got a few. I'm in Okay.
When I first my first meeting withRed Fox, had already been cast
(18:00):
in the show, but I hadnot met the other members of the cast.
And so our first meeting was fora photo shoot at the CBS studios
and they I got a call.You know, they're gonna have hair and
makeup, but they asked if wewould bring some of our own wardrobe because
(18:21):
they hadn't fitted us, and youknow, they had our sizes, so
they had a few things, butthey said, bring some of your own
wardrobe. And back in the eighties, Laura Ashley, those kind of flowy
little house on the prairie looking dressesthat hadn't really no shape to them.
They're just kind of long and flouranyway, wardrobe put me in that dress
(18:41):
and then we and then we wentout for this on the set and Red
looked at me and he said towardrobe, can't we get her something else
to wear? And I said,read, this is my dress? And
he said, well then damn,let's take up a collection and buy this
(19:02):
child some clothes. And he said, he said, look, you got
a nice shape. Nobody can seeit. This is show business, baby,
you gotta show him something. Andhe made them go get some pins
and pin up the back of thedress and he looked at he said,
now that's better. And then helooked at my bosoms and he said,
and can't we get us some socksor something? You know, we got
(19:26):
that. We got the daughter over, the teenage daughter who's got a bigger
chest than my mama. That's notright. And they got socks and they,
you know, put they put socksin my stuff, my bra with
socks, and so they whenever wewould have tape days, I had special
(19:47):
bras, you know, push uppadded bras, and I remember we were
having a rehearsal and day and Redsaid, where's your chest? Said,
it's in waterdrobe. He said,no, no, baby, I gotta
watch, I gotta look at youall the time. It's only fifteen hundred
dollars. I can buy you some. And so I mean, he's just
just tease me. So what Idid was I went to the scenic department
(20:11):
and then I had them build uplike a forty four quadruple D fake chest.
They painted at the right collar.I went to wardrobe. They gave
me a big breakaway blouse. Andone day Red was who was having some
health issues. So back in theday when there were four cameras sets,
(20:36):
multi cams and we would shoot everythingon a sound stage, we would do
two audiences on a Friday night andtape to have a committ show coming at
six and then maybe at eight andor maybe five and whatever. That's not
important. The important thing is thatwe've gotten into the habit of the routine
(20:57):
of taping our dress rehearsal the daybefore and then just doing one show on
Friday night in front of a liveaudience. So it was tape day.
The cameras are rolling, Red issitting in Grandpa's chair, which is the
back of the doors behind front doorsbehind him, and Della's character is supposed
(21:18):
to be coming in with a bagof groceries, and she yells through the
door Al, because his name wasAl. A character's name is al,
Al, come help me with thesegroceries. And he gets somebody the chair
and turns around and is said,I come through the door with this big
chest and then a breakaway blouse justand Della said he would hit. He
was like you know, and likein Sanford's Son, he would just go
(21:41):
like this. And my character's namewas Elizabeth. He would go like oh
oh, and he couldn't say anything. And Della said, she got you
good, didn't she read she sayanything? You're gonna live her alone now
because she got you good. Andactually the very next week is when he
(22:02):
had his fatal heart attack on theset and I thought my flashing him was
maybe too much for him, soI guess he was upset. He wasn't
abreast of the situation. That wasa bad joke, Chris, but we'll
let us slide. It was prettyhorrible, but I'm known for my bad
jokes, so it's good. Okay. That's why I'm not on television.
That's what I wasn't in the royalfamily like you were. Okay, so
(22:26):
fit right in. I'm pretty darncute, I guess you know. Marianne
Alda is with me on the outhouselounge. We want to talk about this
because you are something of an agedisruptor. That's your new business. That's
that's that's how you reinvented yourself.Now you are back in acting. You
(22:48):
aren't doing stand up. We're goingto get into that again. But I
have age knocked down. I havethe shameless part, uh kind of down
pet, but the aging shamelessly thing. I need some help, So can
you help me out a little bit? Sure I can do that. When
I hit my early fifties, thecasting directors just stopped calling me. And
(23:15):
I had a great run, agreat, good thirty year career in television.
But that's, you know, allI did. I just acted and
that paid my bills, and suddenlythey stopped calling me. And then I
realized that a lot, a lotof my career I had been the appendage
to a man. I played alot of wives, a lot of girlfriends.
(23:40):
You know, the pretty girl andwhat do you do with the pretty
girl when she gets old. Hollywoodisn't know what to do with there.
My agent at the time suggested thatI gained fifty pounds so that I could
do more character work. Hold ona second. You normally agents tell their
female actresses to lose weight. Oh, your two pounds overweight. You gotta
(24:00):
do some more push it, theytold. He told you that I'm gonna
stop. He told you to gainfifty pounds to be unhealthy at this point,
Well, but keep in mind therethere was when it comes to black
actresses, black actresses of color,mature black women. There he was suggesting
(24:21):
that I go for the big MoMAroles Perry for that. Now, well,
yeah, most most and most ofthe big Mamas were played the successful
big Mamas were played by men TylerPerry and Martin Lawrence. Uh. And
I thought, no, I that'sthat's not me right, high blood pressure
(24:42):
and diabetes runs in my family.Wasn't going to ruin my health. And
also, I am adverse to playingany kind of stereotype, and I want
to change the negative stereotypes. SoI thought, well, I'll just go
back to the stage. Because Iactually started out in theater in New York
(25:04):
and but before that, I meanI had to make a living. I
think actors have a natural curiosity aboutabout human behavior and motivation. So I
spent a year in training to becomea hypnotherapist. You can probably learn to
(25:25):
hypnotize somebody in a weekend, butto use it therapeutically takes longer. I
trained at the Hypnosis Motivation Institute inTarzana, California, and most of my
clients when I started my residency there, most of my clients were women from
that area, from the Tarzano andSina and Sino area, and they had
(25:45):
everything a lot very well to do. A lot of them were empty nesters,
but they were successful in their careers. They had successful husbands, but
they were depressed. And I realizedthat we as a culture have all have
all been hypnotized into believing that womenlose value and social and sexual currency with
(26:10):
age, and my job was todehypnotize them and snap them out of that
trance. Now, the interesting thingis actors are highly suggestible, so that
I was as I was giving myclients the positive suggestions, they took root
in my own subconscious mind and Ireclaimed my acting career, and that's when
I thought I'm going to go backto the stage. And my very first
(26:30):
solo show I did at the auditoriumat the Institute and it was called Snap
out of It. You've only beenhypnotized into believing you're over the hell.
And from that I was on aroll. I did sketch comedy with a
trio called Three Black Chicks. LolaLoave, Iona Morris and myself. We
(26:55):
did a sketch show called Heratica andit was about we've just played these sexy,
crazy characters, you know, thegoddess of love. I played the
Stepford wife and Iona's character was thegoddess of sexual freedom. I think maybe
(27:17):
the lotless sexual freedom, and Ionawas the goddess of love. Anyway,
we were all goddesses. Yeah,and we did and we did these funny
little sketches and little songs on littlesketches about getting older. And when I
do my stand up, excuse me, when I do my stand up,
I I talk about getting older,but I don't do self deprecating humor because
(27:44):
the thing about the subconscious mind isit doesn't get the joke. It takes
what you say it at your wordand it takes it seriously. So when
we say things like oh I'm gettingold, Oh I'm so tired, the
subconscious mind here is that and accordingto that belief system, you will behave
accordingly. So that's why it isso important for us to do to be
(28:11):
careful about what Della used to say. She had a saying, be careful
about what you're thinking about. Whenyou're not thinking about what you're thinking about,
meaning those little random thoughts of oh, I'm so tired, oh I'm
getting old, that you're not thinkingabout it, but your subconscious mind is
(28:32):
hearing every word. So you haveto be consciously aware and catch yourself before
you you program you're subconscious into makingyou older than you need to be.
Because you say, oh I'm gettingold, your shoe, your shoulders will
do. You'll feel bad about yourself. You just kind of like fall into
that behavior. But if you sayI love myself and whatever age I am,
(28:56):
I'm in great, you know you'llthrow your shoulders back. You'll face
the world differently. The world willface you differently, and that's important.
So you're saying the opposite of thedoctor Smith approach works perfectly. I'm sorry,
I can't do anything. My poorback hurts. Well, I think
I'm a little too old for this. Well maybe you can do this from
a Yeah you're a bubbleheaded booby.Yeah, now it's it's really really and
(29:23):
you know, I I frequently getI don't know if it's the way I
look my energy whatever. When Isay that i'm seventy five, people say,
oh, you're nuts, You're notseventy five, you're not old.
Or if I say I'm old,yeah I'm old. I don't have a
(29:45):
problem with that. On the onthe spectrum of young versus old, I'm
on that end of the spectrum,and I don't have a problem with that.
I think we need to take backthat word and then just look at
it non mentally and stop projecting allthis negative onto it. I'm an older
(30:07):
woman. I don't have a problemwith that, But I don't fit the
stereotype that culturally we see, andthat needs to change because I know a
lot of older women my age whoare just like me. We're just as
you know, fresh and sassy asany light. Yes, yeah, I
(30:30):
don't prefer to call myself old either. I prefer to say to these younger
people, I'm born at a morecomfortable distance from the apocalypse. You know,
I can. I use that's agood one. I've been I was
born in a more comfortable distance fromthe apocalypse. That's scary, perfect,
(30:52):
that's a good comeback. And atthe steam time, we could annoy young
people by pretending not to be ableto hear them. See, that's the
good thing about it. Again,get a little older. Oh no,
no, no, I love youknow. I do not discriminate, you
know ages, No, I know, but again, the subconscious of mind
isn't getting it. So I andI do believe that that the generations need
(31:17):
to work together because the younger generationhelps us and agism. You know,
they're helping their future selves, youknow because as agent, if they are
agists right now, they're discriminating againsttheir future selves. So they have a
vested interest in eliminating agism as well. It would be nice. Yeah,
there are too many occupations. I'min radio, so I'm in the same
(31:41):
boat with you as an actress.A lot of the producers will think we're
too old for things radio and TV. It's a it's a young man's game
now. The fact is, though, there are a lot of other businesses
too, it's very hard for peopleover fifty to find work. That's not
a good thing. How do youhow do you help a clan who says,
(32:02):
Maryanne, I've I've been through this. I have a lot of experience,
I have a lot of things toshare. I want to I've expanded
my skill set and everything else.I'm fifty something, sixty something, and
still people are are are hesitant tohire me for what I can what I
can bring them. Well, Ithink, well, first of all,
the culture needs to change. That'san absolute. I think corporate America is
(32:24):
becoming more socially conscious about that,about about age discrimination. It definitely falls
under the you know d EI realmand you can only work on yourself.
(32:46):
Because I fall into that category whereI do not want the government to get
involved in anything like that. Idon't really I don't want the government to
force somebody to quote a me intoanything. What I want to do is,
uh, we should there should bekind of mentality change on our end,
Like you're helping people right now,you're helping people on our end the
older scale, change our own mentality. We have to do that to help
(33:07):
change the mentality of those who arehiring and those who are bring people into
their organizations. Yeah, right,Well, the government doesn't have to get
involved, but corporate America does havea responsibility to its employees and to its
workforce and to create a safe workingenvironment where everyone feels welcome and appreciate it
(33:29):
and that and they will get theirbest work out of them too. And
I do believe that that corporate Americais beginning to realize that agism is not
cost effective. It's costing them moneyto you know, it's like when somebody's
getting like I always say about acting, just when I'm getting really really good
(33:50):
at it, you're gonna kick meout. You know. That's how crazy
is that when you've practiced all thoseyears too, all those years. I've
got my ten thousand hours, probablytwenty. It's funny our generations, both
I'm an ex and you're a boomer. Our generation has grown up with the
work ethic. Okay, and alot of young people do have a good
(34:10):
work ethic, but we do hearabout the quiet quitting and the the what's
that the bare minimum? Mondays.I understand there's not the majority of people,
but this is something that could trendworse. Maybe having some more older
people in one's organization will help instilla work ethic and maybe teach some skills
to younger people. Just just athought. But maybe I'm maybe I'm off
(34:34):
base here, Maybe I should gainfifty No no, no, no,
well how about hold up here?You know, there's something to be said
for bare minimum mondays and quiet quittingin because maybe that is in response to
the expectation from corporate America to havefewer people do the same amount of work.
(34:55):
Interesting point, and you know,and what they're at, what they're
doing is you know, it's it'sit's like in Europe and they've been in
some companies have been experimenting with afour day week. When you have a
four day week and you have youryour employees have three days off to really
relax and rejuvenate. When you comeback to the job, you can you're
(35:15):
more productive. So do we needa whipping a chair to make people work
or do It's a different story,I guess no, no, whipping a
chair, no, no, no, uh, but I think it's I
(35:36):
think we we have to be sociallyconscious. And some of these young people
have some really pretty good ideas becauseas you said, you know, we
my generation maybe genet. You knowyour generation too. You know that has
that hard work ethic, but hasit served us well? Has it served
our families? And you know there'sa lot so many divorces would because it
(36:00):
was the quality of life that isimportant too. So I think the two
generations have a lot to learn fromeach other. So I'm all for minimum.
What is it minimum? They're minimum? Mondays, I like to hit
the ground running on Monday. Mondayis the day I like to start getting
things done so I can set thetone for the rest of the week.
(36:21):
But I understand where you're coming fromhere, a better balance between between one's
work and life. You and Iwe run our own businesses. You were
an acting I suppose you're no strangerto sixteen hour days. Oh no,
I always say I am not anine to five person. I'm a twenty
four seven person, right. Youknow, I do the work when it
needs to be done because when I'mnot working as an actor, I'm creating
(36:45):
work for myself to get work asan actor exactly. So you're always doing
something, which, which again isimportant. I think when younger people get
older, learning that kind of scskill set will benefit them as well.
So maybe somewhere in between is thes. Well, you know, there
are a lot of young people whoare twenty four seven people as well.
(37:06):
You know that they're they're doing theirgigs and they're doing their entreprene you know,
entrepreneur things. They're starting stuff.You know, they're yeah, they
might be on social media, butthey're learning how to monetize it exactly.
So I think that that's that's important. I remember having a conversation with my
grandson when he was around eleven.He's sixteen now, but he's and he's
(37:31):
a real smart kid. I don'tjust say that, I mean he's an
honors he's a smart kid actually andso, but he was in class and
sometimes he wasn't applying himself and performingup to his potential. And but during
the it was interesting because during thepandemic, when he was left to doing
(37:52):
a lot of work on his own, he it was a whole different thing.
And it has continued on in highschool. So now he's on the
honor roll and everything all the time. But he said to me, I
asked him what he wanted to bewhen he grew up, and he said,
I don't know. And I said, I said, well, do
you want to be a teacher,because his sister at the time wanted to
(38:13):
be a teacher. And he said, no, Nana, there's no money
in it. Really, I said, okay, and then he he said
to me, look Annah, youknow, I'm kind of a slacker and
I have to be able to makeenough money so that I can afford to
do that. So in his mind, you know what, he was calling
(38:37):
himself a slacker, or maybe thathad been projected onto him, you know,
by his teachers or whatnot, thathe was slacking off. He realized
that about himself, and he realized, if I want to run my life
the way I want to run mylife, that I better make a lot
of money. And he's now he'sa very entrepreneurial, you know, conscious
(39:04):
kind of guy. And when Isaid when he turned sixteen, I said,
oh, how does it feel tobe sixteen? He said, great,
now I can get a job,you know. So, So I
think when we recognize ourselves and whatwhat what our passion is what drives us?
Because I think too many people areunhappy because they're trying to fit their
(39:28):
round peg into a square round hole. You know what I'm saying, A
round peg into a square hole.No, we're square square peg into a
round hole. Trying to fit kidshaircut into a hat. Okay, yeah,
here you go. We just kindof rest on top. I think,
Yeah, I like the hair.I like it a lot. It's
(39:49):
good stuff. Yeah, it's kindof going back now, but now they
have like little twisties and stain length, a little twisties and stuff going on.
I think that's a new look.You see the industry improving and its
attitude towards older actors and actresses nowand as far as acting television movies,
slowly but surely. But again,I don't think it's uh. I don't
(40:13):
think it's from any sense of socialconsciousness on the part of the studios.
I think it's more them responding tothe marketplace because there are a lot more
older people and we want to seewhat we want to see. You know,
some of the some of the bigblock mustbuster movies that were aimed at
teenage boys didn't do that well inthe in the box office this summer.
(40:39):
That's also interesting. Yes, yeah, but movies like Oppenheimer made for adult
audiences, the mature adult they didwell. And Barbie was made for girls
and women and you know women whogrew up with head Barbie. So so
the when it comes to the entertainmentindustry, the industry is responses to the
(41:00):
audience. And right now, whenthere are so many different platforms and streamers
and so many people able to createentertainment on their own, they have to
become much more responsible. And theyare becoming more responsible because everybody's chasing after
(41:20):
the same audience, and so they'vegot to build a better product because to
capture that audience. So I thinkthey're being more consciously aware of the audience
and what needs to happen. Let'ssay somebody kills you up, Maryanne and
says I need your help. Ineed I need to change my attitude.
I need to change my trajectory andmy career, my life because I feel
(41:42):
like I'm getting old, but Iknow I have plenty of great years ahead
of me. I want to beenergetic, I want to work and I
want to enjoy life. I wantto travel, I want to skip around.
And yeah, maybe I want todo a commercial or two. All
right, maybe maybe nobody wants meto do one because they have the face
for radio. But the point I'mtrying to make is what what What are
you tell them? What's your what'syour first step? What do you what's
(42:05):
the first change you like a lotof these people to make. Okay,
first, I'm gonna start with you, Chris. You just said I had
a face for radio. But thesulfconscious mind doesn't get the job. I'm
telling you. So I have devisedsnap out of It technique and I'm writing
(42:28):
a book. So have me backon when I finished the book. We
will, but I will share sharewith your listeners right now. It's snap
out of It S doubles, doubleN, triple A, triple P.
So it's snap out of It.Starts with self love, self care,
(42:49):
the n neural linguistic programming, whichis self talk, no, the power
of no, acceptance, awareness,acceptance of appreciation, purpose, passion,
and pride. Those ten steps,and I will just tell you how to
how to begin with the first two. Self love. When you get up
(43:13):
in the morning and you're brushing yourteeth and you're looking into the mirror,
look into your eyes and tell yourselfI love you. You would say I
love you, Chris, I loveyou. Just say it ten times,
or say as many times as ittakes. Suppression feets say about loud,
say it to yourself. Just tellyourself I love you. Look into your
eyes, your subconscious mind, lookat the message. The next is self
(43:36):
love, I mean self care.So often, especially for women, we
just go through the day and toget stuff done. We do whatever needs
to be done, and we don'ttake the time to do something kind for
ourselves, and the universe will treatus the way we treat ourselves. So
make and it's set an intention todo something good for yourself that day.
(44:02):
Whether it's maybe it's to buy asalad instead of a burger, even though
the salad might cost a little more. Maybe it's taking setting fifteen minutes aside
to just meditate and chill and justjust breathe in and breathe out and imagine
the life that you want to have. But set the intention to do something
(44:25):
positive for yourself, because the wholeday will go by and you will never
have done it, and it becomesa habit. And once you set positive
habits, then you're really on aroll. You don't even have to think
about it anymore. Good because I'ma positive guy. Anybody will tell you
I'm a positive guy. I likeballoons too, that's a different story.
(44:46):
Okay, I had I had somebubble this weekend. I went to an
outdoor concert. I was gonna blowsome bubbles for you, but they're downstairs.
I gotta blow some now after afterthe show. Oh well, and
balloon animals. But bubbles and balloonanimals I always love. But again,
that's again, that's a different storyfor a different time. Yeah, we
(45:07):
will definitely get you on for thebook. But how can people who are
watching and listening to the program learnmore about you and UH and your services
aging shamelessly and a lot more well, I would say connect with me on
Instagram at Marianne Alda underscore aging shamelessly. If you google me, all of
(45:28):
this stuff will come up. Ifyou can't remember the two ages, two
as and Alda. Yes, norelation to Allen. No relation to Allen.
I always say Southern Italian and thencould of my Ted talk my Ted
talk and I've given it a url. Agism is a bully ted dot com.
(45:52):
That's agism spelled with an age.I s m Agism is a bully
ted dot com. It's a shortvideo and it's very motivational, and I
think everybody will get something out ofit, you know. Just yeah,
listen to the Ted Talk. It'sread on your website. We're wondering,
(46:14):
and see what resonates for you.Yeah, but if you don't want to
go through the whole website, yeah, you don't have to just go talk.
You can find it. Yeah.Yeah, I I don't need to
promote myself, I really, butI that is my gift to people that
I that I kind of have developedthis philosophy of life and maybe will have
(46:40):
heard this some things that you mighthave heard before, but it might resonate
with you a little differently. Socheck out the text talk and you know,
send it to your friends who youthink might need to see the need
to hear it, and then waitfor the book. Well, we're gonna
have you on when the book comesup. I want to thank you very
much for being with me, beingwith me here on the on the outhouse
(47:02):
lounge, Mary Anne Hope. Boy, that's it, and that's you know,
it happens. You know, likeyou say, we're having a senior
moment. When were you in highschool when you couldn't find remember where you
put your keys? Were you havinga sophomore moment? No, it just
happens. You're being human, Chris. It's just being human. Now,
(47:23):
I'm being me. I'm always losingmy keys or losing something here and there.
Okay, you know why, becauseyou just told yourself I'm always losing
things, so you will. It'sbecoming a self fulfilling prophecy. Just say,
okay, here's a little another littletakeaway. When you find yourself doing
something like that. Instead of saying, oh, I did it again,
(47:45):
just say, look at it withcuriosity. M that's curious. I can't
find might think keys again. Ihave to do better about that. I
was thinking, I say, canI do that? All right? Okay,
Mary, I think you have Ithink you've missed your calling. I
(48:07):
think you should be doing stand upKent. Oh yeah, right now,
I'm doing some sitdown comedy. ButI've always wanted to be a stand up
comedian. Then do it, doit? Maybe I will give that a
shot one day. I should.I tried that a couple of times before,
but apparently the nineteen nineties and medoing stint up comedy we're not a
good mix. But that's a differentstory for a different day. If I
(48:28):
wonder if i'd be a mix fornow, oh my gosh, anyway down
heavily. But listen, at theI feel that disappointment about things not working
out. It's a lot easier tolive with than regret for not having tried.
True, if you get punched inthe nose, you get up,
(48:49):
dust yourself off, and me,yeah, go right at it again.
That I definitely agree with. AndI really thank you for coming on with
us here, Mary, And itwas fun talking TV with you. It
was fun talking your career and wedidn't even get to the whole thing.
We're gonna have to do some ofthat with your book, so be ready
to talk about working with the ogrefrom Revenge of the Nerds on first and
ten. I loved him. Hewas great. But on the other hand,
(49:13):
once again, check out check outMary Anne's website that of course is
uh was it? Mary Anne marianin her Prime dot com. There we
go, Mary in her Prime dotcom and the book's coming out soon,
Mary and Allda the Age Disruptor.And yes, check out clips of the
Royal Family on YouTube because I wasgoing through that rabbit hole and it was
(49:35):
a lot of fun. Maryann,again, thank you for being with me,
and thank you all for joining uson the Outhhouse. Lu thanks Remy,
by everybody,
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The Breakfast Club
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, And Charlamagne Tha God!