May 20, 2025 • 36 mins
Grief isn’t just sadness—it’s exhaustion, energy that never returns, and stress that hides in your muscles. For Lyndsay Soprano, grief has been a thief, stealing her vitality and sense of self. In this episode, she sits down with Lauren Fonvielle, an expert in Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), to talk about how grief doesn’t just exist in your mind—it makes a home in your body.
Lyndsay and Lauren talk about the quiet weight women carry, juggling endless roles while feeling like they’re falling apart inside. They discuss how stress turns into physical pain, why emotional wounds don’t just fade, and how EFT (tapping) can help release some of that stored pain. It’s not just about tapping—it’s about facing what you’ve buried, letting yourself feel, and finding a way to actually breathe again.
But this isn’t just another self-care chat. It’s a raw, honest look at what it means to show up for yourself, even when everything feels like too much. It’s about learning to be gentle with yourself and recognizing that healing is messy, but possible.
Tune in if you’re carrying grief you can’t shake. You’re not alone in this.
Find Lauren Fonvielle Online Here:
Website: mindshiftwithlauren.com
Instagram: @laurenic0le
Facebook: Lauren Fonvielle
LinkedIn: Lauren Fonvielle
YouTube: Lauren Fonvielle
Find The Pain Game Podcast Online Here:
Website: thepaingamepodcast.com
Instagram: @thepaingamepodcast
Facebook: The Pain Game Podcast
LinkedIn: Lyndsay Soprano
YouTube: The Pain Game Podcast
Episode Highlights:
(00:00) Introduction to Chronic Pain and Healing
(02:02) Understanding Stress and Its Impact
(04:53) Exploring Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)
(09:57) The Role of Grief in Chronic Pain
(15:02) Tapping as a Healing Method
(20:04) Navigating Life's Pressures as Women
(24:47) Empowerment Through Tapping and Self-Care
(29:47) Conclusion and Call to Action
Lyndsay and Lauren talk about the quiet weight women carry, juggling endless roles while feeling like they’re falling apart inside. They discuss how stress turns into physical pain, why emotional wounds don’t just fade, and how EFT (tapping) can help release some of that stored pain. It’s not just about tapping—it’s about facing what you’ve buried, letting yourself feel, and finding a way to actually breathe again.
But this isn’t just another self-care chat. It’s a raw, honest look at what it means to show up for yourself, even when everything feels like too much. It’s about learning to be gentle with yourself and recognizing that healing is messy, but possible.
Tune in if you’re carrying grief you can’t shake. You’re not alone in this.
Find Lauren Fonvielle Online Here:
Website: mindshiftwithlauren.com
Instagram: @laurenic0le
Facebook: Lauren Fonvielle
LinkedIn: Lauren Fonvielle
YouTube: Lauren Fonvielle
Find The Pain Game Podcast Online Here:
Website: thepaingamepodcast.com
Instagram: @thepaingamepodcast
Facebook: The Pain Game Podcast
LinkedIn: Lyndsay Soprano
YouTube: The Pain Game Podcast
Episode Highlights:
(00:00) Introduction to Chronic Pain and Healing
(02:02) Understanding Stress and Its Impact
(04:53) Exploring Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)
(09:57) The Role of Grief in Chronic Pain
(15:02) Tapping as a Healing Method
(20:04) Navigating Life's Pressures as Women
(24:47) Empowerment Through Tapping and Self-Care
(29:47) Conclusion and Call to Action
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
This is Your Pain Game podcast where we talk about
the game of living in and with chronic pain and trauma,
getting to the heart of how to heal. I am
your host, Lindsay Soprano. On the show, I plan on
discussing with doctors, chronic pain patients, holistic practitioners, loved ones,
and anybody that is interested in having their voice.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Heard in the chronic pain and trauma world that we
live in.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
So over the past decade, I guess I have grieved
more with each passing year over the loss of the
body that I once had, and we talked about this
over and again on this show. I'm grieving over the
energy that I used to bound out of bed with right,
and I grieve over the excitement that I used to
(00:58):
have at the beginning of each day, because each day
offered all of these incredibly wonderful opportunities for me. And
right now, when I hop out of bed, my opportunity
is how am I going to walk from here to
the bathroom?
Speaker 3 (01:11):
This is the opportunity that's knocking on my door every day, right,
and my mornings are more difficult each morning, they get
more and every minute by minute that I live in
this bod is a choice that I.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
Have to live with, right, And if you cast me
before ten am Pacific standard time, you just better watch out.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
And I used to be a morning person. I used
to be up at five am.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
I was like I was at clients' offices at five
o'clock in the morning. You couldn't pay me to do
anything at five o'clock in the morning because my body
just won't cooperate. And I feel like the energy in
my body is more frenetic than ever. And even though
I'm super fatigued, I can't sleep because I've got like
a parasitic party going on in my body all night long.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Right, talk about an energy party.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
I need there's energy to be kiboshed and have positive
energy going through here.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
So what is wrecking havoc on my bod?
Speaker 1 (02:02):
And I say this all the time on the show,
And we know that the number one reason for me
is stress, hands down one percent. I know it, everybody
in my body knows it, my listeners know it. I
am a big fucking cortisol stress ball. And I like
to top it off with a little bit of grief
and a little bit of insomnia to make my body healing.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
Such an incredible challenge.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
So with all of the stress and grief that's stuck
in my bod and yours. By the way, this is
from trauma, it's from anxiety, it's from pain, it's from
your husband, it's from your kids, it's from our food,
it's from our politics, it's from all of it. How
do we get that energy? Sucking vampires just like turn
into dust around us?
Speaker 2 (02:41):
Right?
Speaker 1 (02:42):
And one way is something that we call tapping AKA
is called EFT, which stands for emotional freedom technique and
it's also referred to as a psychological pressure, which is interesting.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
So we'll get into that.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
And with the way that my body feels lately, I
wanted to bring in a past guest of ours. Actually
we're throwing back to season one, episode twenty three here,
who specializes in EFT, because I want a deeper dive
with her into her practice and how to help us
get our energy flying back again.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Because I know that my needs.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
I feel like I'm just have just blockage after blockage.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
After I can.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
Feel it, I can literally feel where things are stuck
in here. So, without further ado, I would like to
reintroduce you to my haughty Toddy guest today Lauren Funville.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
Welcome back, you, hot babe.
Speaker 4 (03:31):
Thank you for having me back. I'm excited to be
here with you today.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Oh my god, I'm so excited to have you back
as well.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
So Lauren is an integrative energy practitioner and certified EFT
trainer that helps the next generation of tapping professionals rise,
not just heal. Her work specializes in guiding high stress,
high performing minds through stress anxiety, stress ball one oh one, anxiety,
chronic pain, and trauma using this EFT, this tapping, and
(04:00):
a unique blend of other science based energetics, which you
know as here on this show, we don't talk about
science at all.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
What science.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
One of the reasons that I brought her back on
too is I still get all of her email marketing
from the beginning of time when we first met a
couple of years ago, and a lot of her email
marketing had been about grief, and as you know from
the episode that launched season three, there's been a lot
of grief that happened. Why I took a little bit
of a pause to kind of regroup with what I
needed to do with my show for myself, my family,
(04:30):
my friends, and so on and so forth. So after
seeing all of your email marketing, I couldn't help but
reach out to you because I felt like it was
an alignment of our energy for you to come back
on and talk about you too and what you've been through.
So rolling out the red carpet for you, babe, I
like to start with why you came back on this
crazy show again.
Speaker 4 (04:48):
Oh, I'm kidding, because.
Speaker 5 (04:50):
I love you.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
I'm kidding, of course, that's why you came back on. Now,
I want you to reintroduce EFT. If you are new
here to the show and you don't any thing about tapping,
I want you to reintroduce my audience that has a
send and hasn't what it actually is, how you got
into it, and then we'll kind of take it from there.
Speaker 4 (05:09):
Yeah. So, EFT is this process of gently tapping on
certain points of the body. And as you're tapping on
these points, you're also speaking out loud and you're acknowledging
how you're feeling. And so, as you mentioned, sometimes it's
called psychological like acupressure because you're applying gentle pressure to
some of those same points that if you were to
(05:31):
go to an acupuncturist that they would put the needles
in at the meridians the right where so the points
are the end points of the meridians, and that's how
our energy moves through the through the body, and how
it helps to reduce the amount of cortisol in the
body too. So which is insane, which is yeah, which
is that stress that stress formone. So tapping on that
(05:52):
sends a message to the brain telling me to chill
out a little bit, and you start to feel start
to feel a little more grounded, a little a little calmer.
And it can be used proactively as part of your
regular self care on a daily basis, and then it
can also be used reactively when you're really feeling yourself
being triggered or feeling really anxious, overwhelmed, that sort of thing.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
And one of the reasons that you got into it
is because you had some pretty debilitating anxiety. Can just
quick brief on that because I know that I'm a clencher,
I'm a stress ball, I'm an anxiety driven person. And
there are a lot of people that was in this
show that reached out to me about anxiety and how
that causes so much pain in their life.
Speaker 4 (06:28):
Oh yeah, absolutely, so, yeah, I found this because I
was on this journey of trying to help myself feel better.
And that was because I was, really, like you said,
dealing with a lot of anxiety and stress. I was
having panic attacks and which would lead me to clenching
at night, which then would irritate my TMJ, my jaw
(06:49):
would lack. I was dealing with a lot of physical
pain in my jaw and in my neck, and and
pain is awful. And finding ways of really trying to
mitigate that naturally was what the goal was. And I
came across tapping, and it really it really changed things
for me. It helped me. It helped me to understand
(07:11):
that there really were emotional components to the physical pain
that I was dealing with, and it helped me to
acknowledge that to hold space for it. And that's really
what this whole practice is about. It's really acknowledging how
you truly feel, allowing yourself to give it the attention
that it needs, and that way you can begin to
work through it as opposed to, you know, trying to
(07:33):
pretend like it's not there, or just powering through and
pushing and pushing and pushing. And we all know that
when when we do that eventually you know you're just
going to fall down or you're going to explode, or
you know it doesn't doesn't work.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
Well, no, it does not.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
It ends up leading to disastrous consequences for your body,
your relationships, your health, all of it.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
And I know that.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
In fact, I had a conversation with my sweetie last
night because I was provided at this really cool doctor's
name for something that we might try for my body
for pain. And I have avoided calling this person because
I avoid doctors like crazy.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
I'm like, nope, I'm good, I've got it.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
I'm going to take care of everybody else because then
everybody else is taking care of and I'm always the
last one.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
I say this on this show.
Speaker 4 (08:19):
All the time.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
I say it every episode, guys, and you guys are like,
is this bitch ever going to learn?
Speaker 2 (08:25):
No, the answer is no. I want to take care
of everybody but me. And I don't know if the.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
Reason is because I'm afraid to take care of me
because I'm afraid of getting better, because now all I
know is this.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
Yeah, and let's talk about tapping into grief, tapping on
my chin.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
I don't know if this is a merit it. I
don't know the time, why is it not working?
Speaker 4 (08:48):
But you just naturally started doing that, right, And sometimes
we do. We naturally touch the points and we don't
even realize that we're touching points that are helpful.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
Interesting, it's a color point.
Speaker 4 (08:58):
Is a common one. I feel like, as women will
often like just put your hand on your chest and kind.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
Of like yes, yes, don't kill him, don't kill him.
Speaker 4 (09:07):
Yeah, And that's like, that's definitely one of my favorite
favorite points. But you bring up a really you bring
up a really good point of like, you know, sometimes
you get so used to being in the pain or
dealing with the anxiety that that's what the normal is.
And and sometimes pausing and asking yourself, like what benefit
(09:30):
do I get from this situation, from dealing with the anxiety,
from dealing with the pain, And you know, a lot
of times the gut reaction to that is like I
don't get any benefit from this, you know. But sometimes
sometimes there is something that's that's underneath that there is
some sort of benefit. And uh, I've seen that. I've
seen that with clients and when they're when you're willing
to kind of step back and look at that that
(09:54):
can then open a doorway for you.
Speaker 1 (09:57):
I want to I want to hop into a little
bit talk about grief. Yeah, grief and the impact that
it has on our mind and our body. Right because
for me, obviously it has a ton ton of impact
on my mind and body, and my grief list is long. So,
like I wrote, these are all the things that I've
been grieving. This is what I was doing last night,
And I was like, oh, well, no wonder I feel
(10:19):
like shit every Yeah, the lot that we're grieving that
we don't know about, that could been from when we
were a little girl, from when we were a little boy,
from when we were whatever we are, whoever we are,
and how that sits in our bod. Like I always
say about this on the show, I say, the body
keeps a score hasn't stopped.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
It's the book that you should buy and you should read.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
But how grief does sit in our bod and how
we can work through that? So can we talk a
little bit about what's been kind of going on in
your world? That elevated the reason why I reached out
to you in regards to your email marketing was kind
of grief leaning and how I brought that up and
how you talked about tapping on themes specifically too, So
let's talk about grief in your world.
Speaker 4 (11:03):
Yeah. So, yeah, this this year has been heavy, and
I'm dealing with a lot of stuff with my aging
parents and my dad had some pretty serious health issues.
My mom has late stage Parkinson's. My dad was no
longer able to be her full time caregiver, so and
it was just a really chaotic time. There's so many
(11:27):
different types of grief right. A lot of time, the
first thing people think of with grieving is like someone
died and you're and you're you know, grieving someone that died,
which of course is a type of grief, but like
there's grieving for how things used to be. There's grieving
for you know, the parent child relationship the way that
it used to be and now this like turn and
(11:48):
I'm having to do more of the more of the parenting.
You know, this is almost like this flip flop. Yeah. Yeah,
and then my mom with the parkinson there's a lot
of neurological issues, there's physical issues, there's you know, beginnings
of dementia, and so it's grieving somebody who's who's still here,
(12:08):
grieving the relationship that you know I once had. But tapping,
tapping has been helpful in allowing me to really acknowledge
how I'm feeling, you know, the sadness of it, the anger,
the frustration, the overwhelm, all of those things. So many
emotions are mixed in with the grief.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Yeah, and I mean, and to reiterate your point about
we immediately think of grief as losing somebody, right, and
you know, I lost my sisters and people know on
the show, and and it doesn't feel like it's gotten
any better. Grief affects you in so many different ways.
Like you get so angry and so resentful, and then
(12:50):
you're sad and you're going all up and down and
all around. And like I opened up the show with
where I was talking about grieving for my bot, I
am grieving for the death of a body that I
used to have and trying to love the body that
I'm in now. And that's challenging, especially because I'm resentful,
I'm angry.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
I'm tapping right now, guys, I'm all these eggs tapping
it out.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
Tap taparoal Right, we got to get it out of us.
So can you talk about a little bit about why
tapping actually does this?
Speaker 2 (13:27):
How does it release cortisol and stress and inflammation? How
does it do this?
Speaker 1 (13:32):
I mean, it seems such a simple thing to do
that it's almost like whatever, but it's not.
Speaker 4 (13:40):
Yeah, the somatic part of tapping on these points. If
we pretend that my fist is my brain. Okay, this
part of my brain. So I'm pointing to my making
a fist, and it's for those of you that are
not you can't see this. At the front part of
my knuckles is my forehead. This is like the prefrontal cortex, right,
This is where we make our good sound decisions. Information
(14:02):
comes up the brain stem to the prefrontal cortex where
we make these good decisions. Now, when we're feeling really anxious,
really overwhelmed, when we're dealing with chronic pain, what's happening
is information is coming up the brain stem, and we're
going to pretend my thumb that was tucked inside my
fist is the amygdala, and the amygdala is the part
of the brain that controls fight or flight. This is
the part of the brain that sends that cortisol into
(14:23):
the body, so that alarm system is going off, and
when this alarm system is going off. Information can't get
to that prefrontal cortex because this alarm is going off.
And so that's those situations where you're saying, I can't
even think straight, you know, like and you literally can't
because you can't access that part of the brain. And
so tapping on the on the points helps to send
a message to the amygdala and say, hey, amgdala, this
(14:45):
is not a life or death situation. You do not
need to be creating all that cortsol. And then slowly
that prefrontal cortex can come back online. So now you
can begin to think more clearly, and you know, we
want to make decisions from that more grounded, calm, calm space.
So and I think we talked about this last time,
that the cortisol can be reduced by up to forty
(15:06):
three percent. That's like, that's insane, an insane number. And
so there's all these studies that have been done to
back that up and show you that it reduces the cortisol.
So I think there's something to be said about the
somatic piece of it. It's just I mean, sometimes like
I feel like we can get so caught up in
like why is it working, what's happening. What's happening? Sure,
(15:27):
And I can understand, and I can understand why I
was the same way because it's weird, like you're tapping
on yourself and you're like, this is making me feel better?
Like what like what is this nonsense? You know? But
if it is making you feel better, it doesn't really
matter why, you know what I mean, like, it doesn't
really matter why it's making you feel better. If it's
just making you feel better, and knowing that there is
(15:47):
a whole lot of science that's backing up and you
can go read all the studies about why, you know,
why it's helping your brain and how it's reducing the cortisol.
But you know, give it a chance. See if it
moves the needle.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
Yeah no, but I mean it does.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
And it's it's weird because there's certain because whenever we talk,
you will just start randomly tapping yourself.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
And I know you know that you do that. I
don't know if you know how much you do it.
Speaker 4 (16:11):
I really do that a lot.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
I don't constant well because you're used to it.
Speaker 4 (16:17):
Yeah, I do it all the time.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
It's like me, I just start.
Speaker 1 (16:19):
See you just did it, and you didn't even probably
know that you were doing it.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
My kids.
Speaker 4 (16:23):
My kids will be like, you know, if I'm upset, mom,
do you need to go tap?
Speaker 1 (16:27):
That's funny, Like, yeah, I'm gonna tap your ass right
out of here, and your college fund is bonne.
Speaker 4 (16:32):
I went on. I went on a retreat and there
was a woman there who does energy work, and I
kept looking over. I'm like, oh, she's a tapper.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
Like she's aapper.
Speaker 4 (16:43):
I'm like, she taps on herself more than I do.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
Oh my, she's a tap in slat over there. Oh
my gosh. So tap or not to tap? That is
the question. And and it's something that when I started
doing it with you, just briefly, one of the things
that was hard for me was I was uncomfortable the
(17:08):
saying my affirmations out loud. And I know that a
lot of the reason was because I had developed a
relationship with you enough that I was like, I want
to be vulnerable with her, but I want her to
still be my friend throughout all.
Speaker 3 (17:21):
I will friend, so I'm nervous that I'm gonna loser
when I tap something out.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
She's like, WHOA, Okay, that's enough of that today. So
can you vanquish a little bit of the fear of
that uncomfortability that may come with it, especially when you
first start doing it, because it's funky. You're like in
the supermarket and all of a sudden, I'm like tapping
my collar bone. I'm like, that's because I hate everybody
in this entire room.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
Yeah, I mean, there's because I'm a glorophobic.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
So going into big like places with a lot of people,
it's like, oh my gosh, I need prosecco immediately.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
Or else I'm not going to make it through this.
Speaker 4 (17:59):
Yeah, I mean, it can be. It can feel weird,
it can feel uncomfortable when you're when you're doing it
for the for the first time. You know, I was
first introduced to it in a in a group setting,
so we were all, you know, feeling a little weird
together and maybe that made it a little.
Speaker 2 (18:16):
E f t an eft orgy where we were.
Speaker 4 (18:19):
Yeah, group orgy.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
Yeah, yeah, tickets fly off the shelf.
Speaker 4 (18:25):
But you can do this in the privacy of your
own home. You can. You don't have to be doing
it out out in public. I mean, there's something there's
something to be said about doing this practice with a
practitioner and having somebody guide you through the practice. But
if you just want to like give it a go
on your own, there's a bazillion YouTube videos out there
(18:47):
and you could type in you know, E F T
and grief and I can guarantee you there's a video
that's that's going to pop up and you can just
tap on the points that the practitioners tapping on, repeat
after them, and go through the practice. Now, the caveat
to that is that you know it can not jive
with exactly how you're feeling. That's why you know, it
(19:08):
can be helpful to work with a practitioner so that
the words that are being used really resonate with how
you are feeling, because the words are are an important
part of this. But that being said, if you're working
with a practitioner and there's too much discomfort and sharing something,
you don't have to share it, Like, you never have
to share anything you don't you don't want to share.
You can you can always, you know, come up with
(19:30):
a code word or a code phrase.
Speaker 5 (19:32):
Right, like so for example, a safe word, yeah, I
mean so like for example, this is perfectly safe, guys,
is perfectly like.
Speaker 4 (19:42):
If you were in a car accident, right, and you
don't want to go through all the details of that
car accident and all the trauma that you experienced of that.
Maybe you just say that late night in October, right
and you just you're just saying those words. You're not
going into all the all the detail else. But you
know how that feels. You know what, you know what
(20:02):
emotions are coming up for you.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
You know what that triggered phrase or whatever would rise
that emotion within you without actually having to relive the
event exactly through and through and over and over again.
Speaker 4 (20:14):
Yeah, there's safe ways like too, there are ways to
safely explore this stuff because you and it should be gentle.
You should and if you are if you are deciding
to go with a practitioner, and the practitioners like, we're
gonna go deep and we're gonna gonna you know, go
hard or go home and you're going to re experience
all this trauma. Hell no, go find somebody else, you know.
(20:35):
That is not that is not what this work is about.
This work is about being really gentle, meeting you where
you are and going at your own pace. So don't
let anybody push you to do something that you don't
feel comfortable doing.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
Yeah, and that I think that's good because in the
beginning it feels a little uncomfy.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
Some people might just like dive right in are like
this is great.
Speaker 4 (20:57):
For me.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
It was a little bit uncomfortable.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
As I start getting into it a little bit more,
I was less uncomfortable.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
But that tapping part of it.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
You know, when we talk a lot about especially on
this show, we talk about pain and stress and trauma
and all of the wonderful things that happen to us
in our lives.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
But with all of that, that that that stress, that
that anxiety, that trauma that sits in us.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
While we're having to work while as women in particular,
are taking on seven thousand different roles. We've got step children,
we've got real children, not that step children aren't real children,
but you know what I mean, birth versus step You've
got you know, a new marriage, a divorce, all these
different things that are going on while we're trying to
run our businesses, while we're trying to be incredibly strong
(21:43):
and wonderful women at work, and you work with women
in the workplace as well well to help them through
all the pressures that ambition brings to us.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
Burnout.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
That brings to us trusting ourselves in the midst of
all of the things that were up that we're confronted
with with our lives, especially in the business world as well.
And you work with business women as clients specifically, can
you ch chat a little bit about that. We didn't
touch on that on our first episode at all.
Speaker 4 (22:10):
Yeah, So, you know, I work I do work with
a lot of entrepreneurs for all those reasons that you
just said, like these are these are very smart, educated
women that are doing a million and two things, and
you know, feeling the stress and the pressure and the overwhelm.
Sometimes there's feelings of not being good enough that that
(22:31):
come up, that they don't have enough time all the things,
all the things, and and this can show up. This
can show up for for how they show up in
their business and how they show up in their in
their personal life. You know. Fear of really being seen
is a is a popular thing that I've worked with
a lot of people on speaking your speaking your truth,
(22:54):
you know, and when we are able to get to
the root of where that leaf started or where that
fear began and holding space for it, and and a
lot of the times this stuff like you mentioned, goes
back to childhood and things that we experienced as kids,
and we didn't have the tools to process a lot
(23:15):
of that stuff. And it just builds over over time.
You know. It's like and sometimes you don't even realize it.
It could be you know, a parent saying something that
you didn't do something right, and a teacher saying, oh,
you didn't do that good enough, and then you know,
all these different experiences over the years, and it just
builds up and builds up, and then you know, somebody
(23:36):
you're working with says something and all of a sudden,
all that stuff that's built up. You know, it's not
really about the one thing that this person is saying
at all. You just like hit that threshold and boom,
it's like an explosion and that comes out. Maybe you
lash out, maybe you you know, have a total meltdown.
Maybe it's a lot of physical pain and whatever the
(23:57):
case may be. And so, you know, I like to
work with those those women to help them to really
hold space for themselves and to allow them to feel
all of the feelings that are associated with it and
acknowledge it because a lot of the time we don't
want to do that right. We don't want to. We
don't want to do it because it's uncomfortable. We don't
want to do it because we don't think we have.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
The time to do it.
Speaker 4 (24:18):
You know, it's going to break us if we if
we do it. But most of the time, these these
women are coming to me because something's happened and they're like,
I can't I can't do this anymore, right, Like I
can't deal with this. I've tried. I've tried all these
other things, whether it's therapy or other you know, coaching
(24:38):
or whatever the case may be. And I saw this
thing about tapping, and let's let's try. I'm willing to.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
Try, you know well, And I think that's really what
it comes down to, is if we're doing the same
thing expecting different results, you know what that means.
Speaker 4 (24:53):
Right.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
And I worked in corporate America for too long. Even
though I was running my own business, I was supporting
corporate America. So was in corporate America from the second
I woke up until the second I woke up, Like
even if I slept a little bit, it was still
always constantly going on. And I wonder if some of
that from the initial when I started twenty five years ago,
(25:13):
started my business when I was just going, going, going, going, going, going, going,
because it was ingrained in my brain that you will
never rely on the mount lindsay, you will never ever.
You will be a strong woman, you will be an
educated woman, you will be a success woman, which.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
Are all things that are absolutely true. That happened, But
it wasn't for a lack.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
I lost a lot of stuff going up through the
pressure of ambition, and through that, I believe wholeheartedly, came
a lot of addiction stuff, came a lot of sex, drugs,
rock and roll, all of that lifestyle because I was
going all day long, and I was traveling for work,
and if anybody that's in sales knows you go on
a sales trip, it is full throttle, just stupidity all
(25:58):
the time. And so all of that just starts wearing
and tearing on your body, and it wears and tears
on your soul. And as a woman, when you're trying
to climb up in corporate America or you're trying to
climb up in anything that you're trying to do, the
stress and the anxiety of that causes that pressure.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
That's just being a woman. Just coming out of the womb.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
It's it's nuts and so as our nervous system that
has just been jostled around for like ever, how do
we get our nervous system like kind of sort of back.
Can we tap ourselves back? Can we tap our asses back?
We're gonna tap that ass. We're gonna tap that ass.
Speaker 4 (26:37):
My god, I love you.
Speaker 2 (26:40):
Yeah, our asses back out of this. This is a
ridiculous Yeah.
Speaker 4 (26:45):
And it starts with acknowledging how all of that makes
you feel, right, the fact that, like, you know, you're
a woman having to deal with this, that you're that
maybe some of this is like self self imposed pressure
that you put on yourself. How it makes you feel
that you've been dealing with this for as long as
long as you have, how it's impacted your life. You know,
(27:06):
how far back does it go for you? You know,
all of the all of these things and acknowledging it,
that's the thing, and saying it out loud, because a
lot of the time we're we're talking to ourselves and
we're having a pretty negative self talk about how we
should be doing more. I don't I shouldn't be having
to ask for help. You know, what is that you know,
(27:27):
saying that like, I'm a failure because I haven't been
able to do X, Y and Z all the negative
things that we can say to ourselves that are on repeat,
and we say it over and over and over, and
then it feels really true. And so then when you
take the time to tap and say that thing out loud,
you can begin to create some distance from it, and
it can begin to feel a little a little bit
(27:48):
different and you can see things a little bit differently,
and that's the beginning of the shift. I love it.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
It feels a little bit liberating. Yeah, And I think
that that heaviness that I spoke about earlier, my body
just feels heavy.
Speaker 2 (28:03):
It just feels heavy every day. I'm like, oh my god, know.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
What water balloons feel like. You know, that's how all
my limbs feel like, just like filled with just this heaviness.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
All the time.
Speaker 4 (28:17):
And so.
Speaker 2 (28:20):
I don't want to just like feel good.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
I want to like be good, you know, because I
feel good some days, even though I feel like shit
during it, I feel good.
Speaker 2 (28:29):
You should see me on my wedding. I danced my
ass off. How did I do it?
Speaker 1 (28:32):
Because I made the choice to do it, and I
also took some muscle relaxers as well, but more than
apparently I was supposed to have taken.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
It could have given me a seizure, said my doctor.
Speaker 4 (28:43):
But I danced about.
Speaker 2 (28:45):
I was not gonna not dance at my Italian wedding. Okay,
Like I had to figure it out.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
But I need to be working more on this kind
of healing than I have been, because I actually haven't
been focused as much on my healing as I as
I have talked about doing on the show, as I
have been focused more on other people's healing. And I
took this break and I focus on other people instead
of me, And I had to regroup because I'm like, WHOA,
(29:13):
that didn't.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
Work at all. Yeah, that did not work at all.
So here I am back tapping my own ass.
Speaker 3 (29:24):
Yeah, I mean, we're telling our own asses on this
show from this moment forward.
Speaker 4 (29:31):
But I'm glad to hear you say that you got
to put yourself first. Figure you know you have to otherwise,
you know, everything else just falls away. You need to
put yourself first.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
And as women suck at it, as women suck at it,
we just.
Speaker 4 (29:43):
Do everything, everybody everything above ourselves.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
And she's just a wonder woman. She takes care of everybody. Yes,
I do.
Speaker 1 (29:50):
It's just I don't do me, don't do me well.
But from what I hear, I can tap a nice ass.
So you know, there was a that I read that
somebody said about you, and I can't say who, and
I can't say where, Okay, but it said she doesn't
just help people feel better, she helps them feel free physically, mentally,
and emotionally.
Speaker 4 (30:11):
Hmmm.
Speaker 2 (30:12):
And I love that, right, I love that. I love
that too.
Speaker 4 (30:16):
That's what I mean. That's really what it's about. It's
about figuring out what's going to make you feel good.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
The liberation. Liberation, Oh, we get you there.
Speaker 4 (30:25):
Yeah, And it starts with sitting in some of the
discomfort of those emotions, because those emotions need to they
need to move, they need to be acknowledged, and they.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
Need to And I'm glad that you said that, sitting
in the discomfort, because that's what I was just saying.
It is a little uncomfortable when we're trying to have
difficult conversations. It's uncomfortable when we're saying we're talking about
things that we've never talked about in forty seven years
of our lives.
Speaker 2 (30:49):
There are things that are challenging, and that's why we're here.
We're here to be raw, we're here to be real.
We're here to have a safe space for you.
Speaker 1 (30:56):
And that's why Lauren's here, That's why I'm here, That's
why every that comes as a show is here, because
we're actually here for you too, not just here for ourselves.
We're coming here because even if we spoke to one
person to day, Lauren Lindsay's job, tap that ass, you
did it.
Speaker 4 (31:13):
Tap it out, baby, tap it out.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
I really want this to be on your new merch
and I just want a ten percent cut.
Speaker 1 (31:20):
She's got merch, she's got all kinds of things, she's
got freebies.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
Talk about your masterclass and your new offers for entrepreneurs
so on? Is so forth real quick?
Speaker 4 (31:29):
Yeah? So I have a masterclass that talks more about
a little bit more about the science that that's going
on Mindshift with Lauren dot Com slash Masterclass if you
are interested in that. I have a group that's an
entrepreneur group that we meet once a month and we
tap it out together on all all the things, whether
it's something that's going on in your business or if
(31:51):
it's something going on in your personal life. It's a
it's a wonderful group of women that come together, and
you can find that on my website. And then I
do have a new offer that I am in the
midst of working on right now, Tap and Thrive for Entrepreneurs,
which is going to be a really high touch program
to help women entrepreneurs overcome these blocks that are getting
(32:12):
in their way. They're limiting beliefs a lot of what
we just just talked about that are is holding them
back from showing up as their best self and feeling good. Like,
no more faking it right, no more pretending we've got
it all together.
Speaker 2 (32:25):
Forget to make it.
Speaker 4 (32:26):
Yes, do it. No, let's be real and let's acknowledge
how we're actually feeling and do the work to shift
it so that we can genuinely feel good. Because you
deserve it. We all deserve it. We all deserve to
feel good and powerful and empowered and speaking our truth.
Speaker 1 (32:43):
Yeah, and from my understanding, there's been such a big
interest in it that you have a wait list now
because so many people were interested in it, So that's great.
All this sup will be in social media as well
as on show notes on the website and so on
and so forth, so we'll be sure to make.
Speaker 2 (32:56):
Sure that it's in all the email marketing and all that.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
If you have not signed up for email mark getting,
please go to our website and sign up because we've
got all kinds of deals that come out from some
of our guests that have product as well as Lauren Masterclass.
Speaker 2 (33:08):
You know, tap in that ass. That's just going to
be that's the name of this episode.
Speaker 1 (33:13):
I hope it's approved because I already sent it to
my marketing director.
Speaker 4 (33:18):
I'm kidding.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
I did not, but I love it so much because
it's true. Tap that ass together. So you can find
her all over the place. Like I said, I'm going
to put her all of her information in social media.
Her social media handles are all over the place, so
you're gonna have to find her. So it's gonna be
a little bit of a like where's Waldo. It's gonna
be like where's Lauren.
Speaker 4 (33:36):
I know that my Instagram handle is a little complicated.
If you just put in mind shift with Lauren, I
will pop up. I will pop up.
Speaker 2 (33:44):
It's just not the mind and shift with Lauren. Is
there anybody she stop that ass? Anything? You'd like to
leave our listeners with before we get out of here.
Speaker 4 (33:57):
I would just say, always be true to yourself. Follow
follow the nudges, you know, like that's like always my thing.
Just continue to follow the nudges. See where it leads you.
If that's to take in a class, if that's to
call in an old friend, if whatever that is for you,
give yourself that gift, make the make the time, check
in with yourself, see how you're feeling. Ask what you
as you ask yourself what you need right now? Like
(34:19):
to pause, what do I need right now? And maybe
it's just a glass of water. I don't know, but
and that's okay. Maybe it's to go for a walk,
Maybe it's to call a friend me, whatever it is,
give yourself, give yourself that gift, give yourself whatever it
is that you want right now.
Speaker 2 (34:33):
And maybe it's to listen to a good podcast episode gone.
I mean, there you go. Well, thanks again for coming
back to the show.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
It was so great to have you back on your
message today was needed for myself included. It tends to
work that way on the show. My guests come on
and I'm like, damn it, I needed them today. So
it seems to align that way. So thanks for coming
back here and we appreciate you tap in our assets.
And also before we jam here, I have a new
(35:03):
bite sized extension of the Pain Game podcast called Pain Bites,
not bites, but bites like bytes because pain does bite right.
But I wanted to serve up like a small but
mighty dose of real talk on Fridays, really quick and dirty,
five minutes. That can't do it without you, So I'm
calling upon you, our little VIPs, to submit your wins,
(35:25):
your losses, your struggles, your celebrations, everything in between, from
within your week, and I'll highlight you anonymously if you'd
like to.
Speaker 2 (35:33):
Each week I want to hear from you.
Speaker 1 (35:34):
I want to talk about you one bite at a time,
so you can send me your voice note, send me emails,
dm me, do it, Get engaged.
Speaker 2 (35:43):
Get engaged.
Speaker 1 (35:44):
You can go to the link in our bio on
Insta and fill out a little form its super brief,
and you also can submit your voice memo directly through there.
I want to highlight you and your small wins, your
big wins, all of the wins, all of the losses,
whatever you need. If you just want to bitch and complain,
send me a voice, notote about it, and I'm going
to talk about it for you, all right, So do it.
Speaker 2 (36:04):
That's called the Pain Bites.
Speaker 1 (36:05):
Outside of that, you are exclusively invited to share this.
Speaker 2 (36:10):
Tap that ass out the IP pain journey. Together. Let's
get to the heart of how to heal with you
by my side.
Speaker 1 (36:19):
Please follow the Pain Game Podcast wherever you digest your
podcast content, we will be there. Visit us at the
Pain gamepodcast dot com and follow us on all the socials.
Speaker 2 (36:29):
Thanks for listening to my little vaps. Catch you on
the other side.
This is Your Pain Game podcast where we talk about
the game of living in and with chronic pain and trauma,
getting to the heart of how to heal. I am
your host, Lindsay Soprano. On the show, I plan on
discussing with doctors, chronic pain patients, holistic practitioners, loved ones,
and anybody that is interested in having their voice.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Heard in the chronic pain and trauma world that we
live in.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
So over the past decade, I guess I have grieved
more with each passing year over the loss of the
body that I once had, and we talked about this
over and again on this show. I'm grieving over the
energy that I used to bound out of bed with right,
and I grieve over the excitement that I used to
(00:58):
have at the beginning of each day, because each day
offered all of these incredibly wonderful opportunities for me. And
right now, when I hop out of bed, my opportunity
is how am I going to walk from here to
the bathroom?
Speaker 3 (01:11):
This is the opportunity that's knocking on my door every day, right,
and my mornings are more difficult each morning, they get
more and every minute by minute that I live in
this bod is a choice that I.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
Have to live with, right, And if you cast me
before ten am Pacific standard time, you just better watch out.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
And I used to be a morning person. I used
to be up at five am.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
I was like I was at clients' offices at five
o'clock in the morning. You couldn't pay me to do
anything at five o'clock in the morning because my body
just won't cooperate. And I feel like the energy in
my body is more frenetic than ever. And even though
I'm super fatigued, I can't sleep because I've got like
a parasitic party going on in my body all night long.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Right, talk about an energy party.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
I need there's energy to be kiboshed and have positive
energy going through here.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
So what is wrecking havoc on my bod?
Speaker 1 (02:02):
And I say this all the time on the show,
And we know that the number one reason for me
is stress, hands down one percent. I know it, everybody
in my body knows it, my listeners know it. I
am a big fucking cortisol stress ball. And I like
to top it off with a little bit of grief
and a little bit of insomnia to make my body healing.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
Such an incredible challenge.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
So with all of the stress and grief that's stuck
in my bod and yours. By the way, this is
from trauma, it's from anxiety, it's from pain, it's from
your husband, it's from your kids, it's from our food,
it's from our politics, it's from all of it. How
do we get that energy? Sucking vampires just like turn
into dust around us?
Speaker 2 (02:41):
Right?
Speaker 1 (02:42):
And one way is something that we call tapping AKA
is called EFT, which stands for emotional freedom technique and
it's also referred to as a psychological pressure, which is interesting.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
So we'll get into that.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
And with the way that my body feels lately, I
wanted to bring in a past guest of ours. Actually
we're throwing back to season one, episode twenty three here,
who specializes in EFT, because I want a deeper dive
with her into her practice and how to help us
get our energy flying back again.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Because I know that my needs.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
I feel like I'm just have just blockage after blockage.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
After I can.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
Feel it, I can literally feel where things are stuck
in here. So, without further ado, I would like to
reintroduce you to my haughty Toddy guest today Lauren Funville.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
Welcome back, you, hot babe.
Speaker 4 (03:31):
Thank you for having me back. I'm excited to be
here with you today.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Oh my god, I'm so excited to have you back
as well.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
So Lauren is an integrative energy practitioner and certified EFT
trainer that helps the next generation of tapping professionals rise,
not just heal. Her work specializes in guiding high stress,
high performing minds through stress anxiety, stress ball one oh one, anxiety,
chronic pain, and trauma using this EFT, this tapping, and
(04:00):
a unique blend of other science based energetics, which you
know as here on this show, we don't talk about
science at all.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
What science.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
One of the reasons that I brought her back on
too is I still get all of her email marketing
from the beginning of time when we first met a
couple of years ago, and a lot of her email
marketing had been about grief, and as you know from
the episode that launched season three, there's been a lot
of grief that happened. Why I took a little bit
of a pause to kind of regroup with what I
needed to do with my show for myself, my family,
(04:30):
my friends, and so on and so forth. So after
seeing all of your email marketing, I couldn't help but
reach out to you because I felt like it was
an alignment of our energy for you to come back
on and talk about you too and what you've been through.
So rolling out the red carpet for you, babe, I
like to start with why you came back on this
crazy show again.
Speaker 4 (04:48):
Oh, I'm kidding, because.
Speaker 5 (04:50):
I love you.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
I'm kidding, of course, that's why you came back on. Now,
I want you to reintroduce EFT. If you are new
here to the show and you don't any thing about tapping,
I want you to reintroduce my audience that has a
send and hasn't what it actually is, how you got
into it, and then we'll kind of take it from there.
Speaker 4 (05:09):
Yeah. So, EFT is this process of gently tapping on
certain points of the body. And as you're tapping on
these points, you're also speaking out loud and you're acknowledging
how you're feeling. And so, as you mentioned, sometimes it's
called psychological like acupressure because you're applying gentle pressure to
some of those same points that if you were to
(05:31):
go to an acupuncturist that they would put the needles
in at the meridians the right where so the points
are the end points of the meridians, and that's how
our energy moves through the through the body, and how
it helps to reduce the amount of cortisol in the
body too. So which is insane, which is yeah, which
is that stress that stress formone. So tapping on that
(05:52):
sends a message to the brain telling me to chill
out a little bit, and you start to feel start
to feel a little more grounded, a little a little calmer.
And it can be used proactively as part of your
regular self care on a daily basis, and then it
can also be used reactively when you're really feeling yourself
being triggered or feeling really anxious, overwhelmed, that sort of thing.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
And one of the reasons that you got into it
is because you had some pretty debilitating anxiety. Can just
quick brief on that because I know that I'm a clencher,
I'm a stress ball, I'm an anxiety driven person. And
there are a lot of people that was in this
show that reached out to me about anxiety and how
that causes so much pain in their life.
Speaker 4 (06:28):
Oh yeah, absolutely, so, yeah, I found this because I
was on this journey of trying to help myself feel better.
And that was because I was, really, like you said,
dealing with a lot of anxiety and stress. I was
having panic attacks and which would lead me to clenching
at night, which then would irritate my TMJ, my jaw
(06:49):
would lack. I was dealing with a lot of physical
pain in my jaw and in my neck, and and
pain is awful. And finding ways of really trying to
mitigate that naturally was what the goal was. And I
came across tapping, and it really it really changed things
for me. It helped me. It helped me to understand
(07:11):
that there really were emotional components to the physical pain
that I was dealing with, and it helped me to
acknowledge that to hold space for it. And that's really
what this whole practice is about. It's really acknowledging how
you truly feel, allowing yourself to give it the attention
that it needs, and that way you can begin to
work through it as opposed to, you know, trying to
(07:33):
pretend like it's not there, or just powering through and
pushing and pushing and pushing. And we all know that
when when we do that eventually you know you're just
going to fall down or you're going to explode, or
you know it doesn't doesn't work.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
Well, no, it does not.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
It ends up leading to disastrous consequences for your body,
your relationships, your health, all of it.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
And I know that.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
In fact, I had a conversation with my sweetie last
night because I was provided at this really cool doctor's
name for something that we might try for my body
for pain. And I have avoided calling this person because
I avoid doctors like crazy.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
I'm like, nope, I'm good, I've got it.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
I'm going to take care of everybody else because then
everybody else is taking care of and I'm always the
last one.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
I say this on this show.
Speaker 4 (08:19):
All the time.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
I say it every episode, guys, and you guys are like,
is this bitch ever going to learn?
Speaker 2 (08:25):
No, the answer is no. I want to take care
of everybody but me. And I don't know if the.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
Reason is because I'm afraid to take care of me
because I'm afraid of getting better, because now all I
know is this.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
Yeah, and let's talk about tapping into grief, tapping on
my chin.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
I don't know if this is a merit it. I
don't know the time, why is it not working?
Speaker 4 (08:48):
But you just naturally started doing that, right, And sometimes
we do. We naturally touch the points and we don't
even realize that we're touching points that are helpful.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
Interesting, it's a color point.
Speaker 4 (08:58):
Is a common one. I feel like, as women will
often like just put your hand on your chest and kind.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
Of like yes, yes, don't kill him, don't kill him.
Speaker 4 (09:07):
Yeah, And that's like, that's definitely one of my favorite
favorite points. But you bring up a really you bring
up a really good point of like, you know, sometimes
you get so used to being in the pain or
dealing with the anxiety that that's what the normal is.
And and sometimes pausing and asking yourself, like what benefit
(09:30):
do I get from this situation, from dealing with the anxiety,
from dealing with the pain, And you know, a lot
of times the gut reaction to that is like I
don't get any benefit from this, you know. But sometimes
sometimes there is something that's that's underneath that there is
some sort of benefit. And uh, I've seen that. I've
seen that with clients and when they're when you're willing
to kind of step back and look at that that
(09:54):
can then open a doorway for you.
Speaker 1 (09:57):
I want to I want to hop into a little
bit talk about grief. Yeah, grief and the impact that
it has on our mind and our body. Right because
for me, obviously it has a ton ton of impact
on my mind and body, and my grief list is long. So,
like I wrote, these are all the things that I've
been grieving. This is what I was doing last night,
And I was like, oh, well, no wonder I feel
(10:19):
like shit every Yeah, the lot that we're grieving that
we don't know about, that could been from when we
were a little girl, from when we were a little boy,
from when we were whatever we are, whoever we are,
and how that sits in our bod. Like I always
say about this on the show, I say, the body
keeps a score hasn't stopped.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
It's the book that you should buy and you should read.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
But how grief does sit in our bod and how
we can work through that? So can we talk a
little bit about what's been kind of going on in
your world? That elevated the reason why I reached out
to you in regards to your email marketing was kind
of grief leaning and how I brought that up and
how you talked about tapping on themes specifically too, So
let's talk about grief in your world.
Speaker 4 (11:03):
Yeah. So, yeah, this this year has been heavy, and
I'm dealing with a lot of stuff with my aging
parents and my dad had some pretty serious health issues.
My mom has late stage Parkinson's. My dad was no
longer able to be her full time caregiver, so and
it was just a really chaotic time. There's so many
(11:27):
different types of grief right. A lot of time, the
first thing people think of with grieving is like someone
died and you're and you're you know, grieving someone that died,
which of course is a type of grief, but like
there's grieving for how things used to be. There's grieving
for you know, the parent child relationship the way that
it used to be and now this like turn and
(11:48):
I'm having to do more of the more of the parenting.
You know, this is almost like this flip flop. Yeah. Yeah,
and then my mom with the parkinson there's a lot
of neurological issues, there's physical issues, there's you know, beginnings
of dementia, and so it's grieving somebody who's who's still here,
(12:08):
grieving the relationship that you know I once had. But tapping,
tapping has been helpful in allowing me to really acknowledge
how I'm feeling, you know, the sadness of it, the anger,
the frustration, the overwhelm, all of those things. So many
emotions are mixed in with the grief.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Yeah, and I mean, and to reiterate your point about
we immediately think of grief as losing somebody, right, and
you know, I lost my sisters and people know on
the show, and and it doesn't feel like it's gotten
any better. Grief affects you in so many different ways.
Like you get so angry and so resentful, and then
(12:50):
you're sad and you're going all up and down and
all around. And like I opened up the show with
where I was talking about grieving for my bot, I
am grieving for the death of a body that I
used to have and trying to love the body that
I'm in now. And that's challenging, especially because I'm resentful,
I'm angry.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
I'm tapping right now, guys, I'm all these eggs tapping
it out.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
Tap taparoal Right, we got to get it out of us.
So can you talk about a little bit about why
tapping actually does this?
Speaker 2 (13:27):
How does it release cortisol and stress and inflammation? How
does it do this?
Speaker 1 (13:32):
I mean, it seems such a simple thing to do
that it's almost like whatever, but it's not.
Speaker 4 (13:40):
Yeah, the somatic part of tapping on these points. If
we pretend that my fist is my brain. Okay, this
part of my brain. So I'm pointing to my making
a fist, and it's for those of you that are
not you can't see this. At the front part of
my knuckles is my forehead. This is like the prefrontal cortex, right,
This is where we make our good sound decisions. Information
(14:02):
comes up the brain stem to the prefrontal cortex where
we make these good decisions. Now, when we're feeling really anxious,
really overwhelmed, when we're dealing with chronic pain, what's happening
is information is coming up the brain stem, and we're
going to pretend my thumb that was tucked inside my
fist is the amygdala, and the amygdala is the part
of the brain that controls fight or flight. This is
the part of the brain that sends that cortisol into
(14:23):
the body, so that alarm system is going off, and
when this alarm system is going off. Information can't get
to that prefrontal cortex because this alarm is going off.
And so that's those situations where you're saying, I can't
even think straight, you know, like and you literally can't
because you can't access that part of the brain. And
so tapping on the on the points helps to send
a message to the amygdala and say, hey, amgdala, this
(14:45):
is not a life or death situation. You do not
need to be creating all that cortsol. And then slowly
that prefrontal cortex can come back online. So now you
can begin to think more clearly, and you know, we
want to make decisions from that more grounded, calm, calm space.
So and I think we talked about this last time,
that the cortisol can be reduced by up to forty
(15:06):
three percent. That's like, that's insane, an insane number. And
so there's all these studies that have been done to
back that up and show you that it reduces the cortisol.
So I think there's something to be said about the
somatic piece of it. It's just I mean, sometimes like
I feel like we can get so caught up in
like why is it working, what's happening. What's happening? Sure,
(15:27):
And I can understand, and I can understand why I
was the same way because it's weird, like you're tapping
on yourself and you're like, this is making me feel better?
Like what like what is this nonsense? You know? But
if it is making you feel better, it doesn't really
matter why, you know what I mean, like, it doesn't
really matter why it's making you feel better. If it's
just making you feel better, and knowing that there is
(15:47):
a whole lot of science that's backing up and you
can go read all the studies about why, you know,
why it's helping your brain and how it's reducing the cortisol.
But you know, give it a chance. See if it
moves the needle.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
Yeah no, but I mean it does.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
And it's it's weird because there's certain because whenever we talk,
you will just start randomly tapping yourself.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
And I know you know that you do that. I
don't know if you know how much you do it.
Speaker 4 (16:11):
I really do that a lot.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
I don't constant well because you're used to it.
Speaker 4 (16:17):
Yeah, I do it all the time.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
It's like me, I just start.
Speaker 1 (16:19):
See you just did it, and you didn't even probably
know that you were doing it.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
My kids.
Speaker 4 (16:23):
My kids will be like, you know, if I'm upset, mom,
do you need to go tap?
Speaker 1 (16:27):
That's funny, Like, yeah, I'm gonna tap your ass right
out of here, and your college fund is bonne.
Speaker 4 (16:32):
I went on. I went on a retreat and there
was a woman there who does energy work, and I
kept looking over. I'm like, oh, she's a tapper.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
Like she's aapper.
Speaker 4 (16:43):
I'm like, she taps on herself more than I do.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
Oh my, she's a tap in slat over there. Oh
my gosh. So tap or not to tap? That is
the question. And and it's something that when I started
doing it with you, just briefly, one of the things
that was hard for me was I was uncomfortable the
(17:08):
saying my affirmations out loud. And I know that a
lot of the reason was because I had developed a
relationship with you enough that I was like, I want
to be vulnerable with her, but I want her to
still be my friend throughout all.
Speaker 3 (17:21):
I will friend, so I'm nervous that I'm gonna loser
when I tap something out.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
She's like, WHOA, Okay, that's enough of that today. So
can you vanquish a little bit of the fear of
that uncomfortability that may come with it, especially when you
first start doing it, because it's funky. You're like in
the supermarket and all of a sudden, I'm like tapping
my collar bone. I'm like, that's because I hate everybody
in this entire room.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
Yeah, I mean, there's because I'm a glorophobic.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
So going into big like places with a lot of people,
it's like, oh my gosh, I need prosecco immediately.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
Or else I'm not going to make it through this.
Speaker 4 (17:59):
Yeah, I mean, it can be. It can feel weird,
it can feel uncomfortable when you're when you're doing it
for the for the first time. You know, I was
first introduced to it in a in a group setting,
so we were all, you know, feeling a little weird
together and maybe that made it a little.
Speaker 2 (18:16):
E f t an eft orgy where we were.
Speaker 4 (18:19):
Yeah, group orgy.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
Yeah, yeah, tickets fly off the shelf.
Speaker 4 (18:25):
But you can do this in the privacy of your
own home. You can. You don't have to be doing
it out out in public. I mean, there's something there's
something to be said about doing this practice with a
practitioner and having somebody guide you through the practice. But
if you just want to like give it a go
on your own, there's a bazillion YouTube videos out there
(18:47):
and you could type in you know, E F T
and grief and I can guarantee you there's a video
that's that's going to pop up and you can just
tap on the points that the practitioners tapping on, repeat
after them, and go through the practice. Now, the caveat
to that is that you know it can not jive
with exactly how you're feeling. That's why you know, it
(19:08):
can be helpful to work with a practitioner so that
the words that are being used really resonate with how
you are feeling, because the words are are an important
part of this. But that being said, if you're working
with a practitioner and there's too much discomfort and sharing something,
you don't have to share it, Like, you never have
to share anything you don't you don't want to share.
You can you can always, you know, come up with
(19:30):
a code word or a code phrase.
Speaker 5 (19:32):
Right, like so for example, a safe word, yeah, I
mean so like for example, this is perfectly safe, guys,
is perfectly like.
Speaker 4 (19:42):
If you were in a car accident, right, and you
don't want to go through all the details of that
car accident and all the trauma that you experienced of that.
Maybe you just say that late night in October, right
and you just you're just saying those words. You're not
going into all the all the detail else. But you
know how that feels. You know what, you know what
(20:02):
emotions are coming up for you.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
You know what that triggered phrase or whatever would rise
that emotion within you without actually having to relive the
event exactly through and through and over and over again.
Speaker 4 (20:14):
Yeah, there's safe ways like too, there are ways to
safely explore this stuff because you and it should be gentle.
You should and if you are if you are deciding
to go with a practitioner, and the practitioners like, we're
gonna go deep and we're gonna gonna you know, go
hard or go home and you're going to re experience
all this trauma. Hell no, go find somebody else, you know.
(20:35):
That is not that is not what this work is about.
This work is about being really gentle, meeting you where
you are and going at your own pace. So don't
let anybody push you to do something that you don't
feel comfortable doing.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
Yeah, and that I think that's good because in the
beginning it feels a little uncomfy.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
Some people might just like dive right in are like
this is great.
Speaker 4 (20:57):
For me.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
It was a little bit uncomfortable.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
As I start getting into it a little bit more,
I was less uncomfortable.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
But that tapping part of it.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
You know, when we talk a lot about especially on
this show, we talk about pain and stress and trauma
and all of the wonderful things that happen to us
in our lives.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
But with all of that, that that that stress, that
that anxiety, that trauma that sits in us.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
While we're having to work while as women in particular,
are taking on seven thousand different roles. We've got step children,
we've got real children, not that step children aren't real children,
but you know what I mean, birth versus step You've
got you know, a new marriage, a divorce, all these
different things that are going on while we're trying to
run our businesses, while we're trying to be incredibly strong
(21:43):
and wonderful women at work, and you work with women
in the workplace as well well to help them through
all the pressures that ambition brings to us.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
Burnout.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
That brings to us trusting ourselves in the midst of
all of the things that were up that we're confronted
with with our lives, especially in the business world as well.
And you work with business women as clients specifically, can
you ch chat a little bit about that. We didn't
touch on that on our first episode at all.
Speaker 4 (22:10):
Yeah, So, you know, I work I do work with
a lot of entrepreneurs for all those reasons that you
just said, like these are these are very smart, educated
women that are doing a million and two things, and
you know, feeling the stress and the pressure and the overwhelm.
Sometimes there's feelings of not being good enough that that
(22:31):
come up, that they don't have enough time all the things,
all the things, and and this can show up. This
can show up for for how they show up in
their business and how they show up in their in
their personal life. You know. Fear of really being seen
is a is a popular thing that I've worked with
a lot of people on speaking your speaking your truth,
(22:54):
you know, and when we are able to get to
the root of where that leaf started or where that
fear began and holding space for it, and and a
lot of the times this stuff like you mentioned, goes
back to childhood and things that we experienced as kids,
and we didn't have the tools to process a lot
(23:15):
of that stuff. And it just builds over over time.
You know. It's like and sometimes you don't even realize it.
It could be you know, a parent saying something that
you didn't do something right, and a teacher saying, oh,
you didn't do that good enough, and then you know,
all these different experiences over the years, and it just
builds up and builds up, and then you know, somebody
(23:36):
you're working with says something and all of a sudden,
all that stuff that's built up. You know, it's not
really about the one thing that this person is saying
at all. You just like hit that threshold and boom,
it's like an explosion and that comes out. Maybe you
lash out, maybe you you know, have a total meltdown.
Maybe it's a lot of physical pain and whatever the
(23:57):
case may be. And so, you know, I like to
work with those those women to help them to really
hold space for themselves and to allow them to feel
all of the feelings that are associated with it and
acknowledge it because a lot of the time we don't
want to do that right. We don't want to. We
don't want to do it because it's uncomfortable. We don't
want to do it because we don't think we have.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
The time to do it.
Speaker 4 (24:18):
You know, it's going to break us if we if
we do it. But most of the time, these these
women are coming to me because something's happened and they're like,
I can't I can't do this anymore, right, Like I
can't deal with this. I've tried. I've tried all these
other things, whether it's therapy or other you know, coaching
(24:38):
or whatever the case may be. And I saw this
thing about tapping, and let's let's try. I'm willing to.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
Try, you know well, And I think that's really what
it comes down to, is if we're doing the same
thing expecting different results, you know what that means.
Speaker 4 (24:53):
Right.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
And I worked in corporate America for too long. Even
though I was running my own business, I was supporting
corporate America. So was in corporate America from the second
I woke up until the second I woke up, Like
even if I slept a little bit, it was still
always constantly going on. And I wonder if some of
that from the initial when I started twenty five years ago,
(25:13):
started my business when I was just going, going, going, going, going, going, going,
because it was ingrained in my brain that you will
never rely on the mount lindsay, you will never ever.
You will be a strong woman, you will be an
educated woman, you will be a success woman, which.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
Are all things that are absolutely true. That happened, But
it wasn't for a lack.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
I lost a lot of stuff going up through the
pressure of ambition, and through that, I believe wholeheartedly, came
a lot of addiction stuff, came a lot of sex, drugs,
rock and roll, all of that lifestyle because I was
going all day long, and I was traveling for work,
and if anybody that's in sales knows you go on
a sales trip, it is full throttle, just stupidity all
(25:58):
the time. And so all of that just starts wearing
and tearing on your body, and it wears and tears
on your soul. And as a woman, when you're trying
to climb up in corporate America or you're trying to
climb up in anything that you're trying to do, the
stress and the anxiety of that causes that pressure.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
That's just being a woman. Just coming out of the womb.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
It's it's nuts and so as our nervous system that
has just been jostled around for like ever, how do
we get our nervous system like kind of sort of back.
Can we tap ourselves back? Can we tap our asses back?
We're gonna tap that ass. We're gonna tap that ass.
Speaker 4 (26:37):
My god, I love you.
Speaker 2 (26:40):
Yeah, our asses back out of this. This is a
ridiculous Yeah.
Speaker 4 (26:45):
And it starts with acknowledging how all of that makes
you feel, right, the fact that, like, you know, you're
a woman having to deal with this, that you're that
maybe some of this is like self self imposed pressure
that you put on yourself. How it makes you feel
that you've been dealing with this for as long as
long as you have, how it's impacted your life. You know,
(27:06):
how far back does it go for you? You know,
all of the all of these things and acknowledging it,
that's the thing, and saying it out loud, because a
lot of the time we're we're talking to ourselves and
we're having a pretty negative self talk about how we
should be doing more. I don't I shouldn't be having
to ask for help. You know, what is that you know,
(27:27):
saying that like, I'm a failure because I haven't been
able to do X, Y and Z all the negative
things that we can say to ourselves that are on repeat,
and we say it over and over and over, and
then it feels really true. And so then when you
take the time to tap and say that thing out loud,
you can begin to create some distance from it, and
it can begin to feel a little a little bit
(27:48):
different and you can see things a little bit differently,
and that's the beginning of the shift. I love it.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
It feels a little bit liberating. Yeah, And I think
that that heaviness that I spoke about earlier, my body
just feels heavy.
Speaker 2 (28:03):
It just feels heavy every day. I'm like, oh my god, know.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
What water balloons feel like. You know, that's how all
my limbs feel like, just like filled with just this heaviness.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
All the time.
Speaker 4 (28:17):
And so.
Speaker 2 (28:20):
I don't want to just like feel good.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
I want to like be good, you know, because I
feel good some days, even though I feel like shit
during it, I feel good.
Speaker 2 (28:29):
You should see me on my wedding. I danced my
ass off. How did I do it?
Speaker 1 (28:32):
Because I made the choice to do it, and I
also took some muscle relaxers as well, but more than
apparently I was supposed to have taken.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
It could have given me a seizure, said my doctor.
Speaker 4 (28:43):
But I danced about.
Speaker 2 (28:45):
I was not gonna not dance at my Italian wedding. Okay,
Like I had to figure it out.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
But I need to be working more on this kind
of healing than I have been, because I actually haven't
been focused as much on my healing as I as
I have talked about doing on the show, as I
have been focused more on other people's healing. And I
took this break and I focus on other people instead
of me, And I had to regroup because I'm like, WHOA,
(29:13):
that didn't.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
Work at all. Yeah, that did not work at all.
So here I am back tapping my own ass.
Speaker 3 (29:24):
Yeah, I mean, we're telling our own asses on this
show from this moment forward.
Speaker 4 (29:31):
But I'm glad to hear you say that you got
to put yourself first. Figure you know you have to otherwise,
you know, everything else just falls away. You need to
put yourself first.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
And as women suck at it, as women suck at it,
we just.
Speaker 4 (29:43):
Do everything, everybody everything above ourselves.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
And she's just a wonder woman. She takes care of everybody. Yes,
I do.
Speaker 1 (29:50):
It's just I don't do me, don't do me well.
But from what I hear, I can tap a nice ass.
So you know, there was a that I read that
somebody said about you, and I can't say who, and
I can't say where, Okay, but it said she doesn't
just help people feel better, she helps them feel free physically, mentally,
and emotionally.
Speaker 4 (30:11):
Hmmm.
Speaker 2 (30:12):
And I love that, right, I love that. I love
that too.
Speaker 4 (30:16):
That's what I mean. That's really what it's about. It's
about figuring out what's going to make you feel good.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
The liberation. Liberation, Oh, we get you there.
Speaker 4 (30:25):
Yeah, And it starts with sitting in some of the
discomfort of those emotions, because those emotions need to they
need to move, they need to be acknowledged, and they.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
Need to And I'm glad that you said that, sitting
in the discomfort, because that's what I was just saying.
It is a little uncomfortable when we're trying to have
difficult conversations. It's uncomfortable when we're saying we're talking about
things that we've never talked about in forty seven years
of our lives.
Speaker 2 (30:49):
There are things that are challenging, and that's why we're here.
We're here to be raw, we're here to be real.
We're here to have a safe space for you.
Speaker 1 (30:56):
And that's why Lauren's here, That's why I'm here, That's
why every that comes as a show is here, because
we're actually here for you too, not just here for ourselves.
We're coming here because even if we spoke to one
person to day, Lauren Lindsay's job, tap that ass, you
did it.
Speaker 4 (31:13):
Tap it out, baby, tap it out.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
I really want this to be on your new merch
and I just want a ten percent cut.
Speaker 1 (31:20):
She's got merch, she's got all kinds of things, she's
got freebies.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
Talk about your masterclass and your new offers for entrepreneurs
so on? Is so forth real quick?
Speaker 4 (31:29):
Yeah? So I have a masterclass that talks more about
a little bit more about the science that that's going
on Mindshift with Lauren dot Com slash Masterclass if you
are interested in that. I have a group that's an
entrepreneur group that we meet once a month and we
tap it out together on all all the things, whether
it's something that's going on in your business or if
(31:51):
it's something going on in your personal life. It's a
it's a wonderful group of women that come together, and
you can find that on my website. And then I
do have a new offer that I am in the
midst of working on right now, Tap and Thrive for Entrepreneurs,
which is going to be a really high touch program
to help women entrepreneurs overcome these blocks that are getting
(32:12):
in their way. They're limiting beliefs a lot of what
we just just talked about that are is holding them
back from showing up as their best self and feeling good. Like,
no more faking it right, no more pretending we've got
it all together.
Speaker 2 (32:25):
Forget to make it.
Speaker 4 (32:26):
Yes, do it. No, let's be real and let's acknowledge
how we're actually feeling and do the work to shift
it so that we can genuinely feel good. Because you
deserve it. We all deserve it. We all deserve to
feel good and powerful and empowered and speaking our truth.
Speaker 1 (32:43):
Yeah, and from my understanding, there's been such a big
interest in it that you have a wait list now
because so many people were interested in it, So that's great.
All this sup will be in social media as well
as on show notes on the website and so on
and so forth, so we'll be sure to make.
Speaker 2 (32:56):
Sure that it's in all the email marketing and all that.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
If you have not signed up for email mark getting,
please go to our website and sign up because we've
got all kinds of deals that come out from some
of our guests that have product as well as Lauren Masterclass.
Speaker 2 (33:08):
You know, tap in that ass. That's just going to
be that's the name of this episode.
Speaker 1 (33:13):
I hope it's approved because I already sent it to
my marketing director.
Speaker 4 (33:18):
I'm kidding.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
I did not, but I love it so much because
it's true. Tap that ass together. So you can find
her all over the place. Like I said, I'm going
to put her all of her information in social media.
Her social media handles are all over the place, so
you're gonna have to find her. So it's gonna be
a little bit of a like where's Waldo. It's gonna
be like where's Lauren.
Speaker 4 (33:36):
I know that my Instagram handle is a little complicated.
If you just put in mind shift with Lauren, I
will pop up. I will pop up.
Speaker 2 (33:44):
It's just not the mind and shift with Lauren. Is
there anybody she stop that ass? Anything? You'd like to
leave our listeners with before we get out of here.
Speaker 4 (33:57):
I would just say, always be true to yourself. Follow
follow the nudges, you know, like that's like always my thing.
Just continue to follow the nudges. See where it leads you.
If that's to take in a class, if that's to
call in an old friend, if whatever that is for you,
give yourself that gift, make the make the time, check
in with yourself, see how you're feeling. Ask what you
as you ask yourself what you need right now? Like
(34:19):
to pause, what do I need right now? And maybe
it's just a glass of water. I don't know, but
and that's okay. Maybe it's to go for a walk,
Maybe it's to call a friend me, whatever it is,
give yourself, give yourself that gift, give yourself whatever it
is that you want right now.
Speaker 2 (34:33):
And maybe it's to listen to a good podcast episode gone.
I mean, there you go. Well, thanks again for coming
back to the show.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
It was so great to have you back on your
message today was needed for myself included. It tends to
work that way on the show. My guests come on
and I'm like, damn it, I needed them today. So
it seems to align that way. So thanks for coming
back here and we appreciate you tap in our assets.
And also before we jam here, I have a new
(35:03):
bite sized extension of the Pain Game podcast called Pain Bites,
not bites, but bites like bytes because pain does bite right.
But I wanted to serve up like a small but
mighty dose of real talk on Fridays, really quick and dirty,
five minutes. That can't do it without you, So I'm
calling upon you, our little VIPs, to submit your wins,
(35:25):
your losses, your struggles, your celebrations, everything in between, from
within your week, and I'll highlight you anonymously if you'd
like to.
Speaker 2 (35:33):
Each week I want to hear from you.
Speaker 1 (35:34):
I want to talk about you one bite at a time,
so you can send me your voice note, send me emails,
dm me, do it, Get engaged.
Speaker 2 (35:43):
Get engaged.
Speaker 1 (35:44):
You can go to the link in our bio on
Insta and fill out a little form its super brief,
and you also can submit your voice memo directly through there.
I want to highlight you and your small wins, your
big wins, all of the wins, all of the losses,
whatever you need. If you just want to bitch and complain,
send me a voice, notote about it, and I'm going
to talk about it for you, all right, So do it.
Speaker 2 (36:04):
That's called the Pain Bites.
Speaker 1 (36:05):
Outside of that, you are exclusively invited to share this.
Speaker 2 (36:10):
Tap that ass out the IP pain journey. Together. Let's
get to the heart of how to heal with you
by my side.
Speaker 1 (36:19):
Please follow the Pain Game Podcast wherever you digest your
podcast content, we will be there. Visit us at the
Pain gamepodcast dot com and follow us on all the socials.
Speaker 2 (36:29):
Thanks for listening to my little vaps. Catch you on
the other side.
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