Ep 140 - Playground games, 100 TDs, possible retool?

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Witless schools.

Speaker 2 (00:02):
Do I have to do everything for you?

Speaker 3 (00:06):
Just hit the fucking button. Man, Are you ready? Are
you ready?

Speaker 1 (00:28):
Hey Tucker, I'm sitting here with Petty It Patty. We
are coming to live from Petty Hooker. Well bought studios
episode and I think it's one forty in the studio
right now. Wowt warm, it's pretty warm. It's pretty warm.

Speaker 4 (00:44):
I don't think it's one hundred and forty.

Speaker 1 (00:46):
No, it's warm. But yeah, you know, I was promised
an air conditioning unit by a good friend of mine.
Uh and uh yeah, I said no, dude, I can't
take that from you.

Speaker 4 (00:57):
I can't.

Speaker 1 (00:58):
There's no way. It's too expensive, doude. I don't even
I don't use it. You can have it, all right, dude.
I'll meet you for lunch. I'll buy you a sushi
at mccooney's. Bring the bring the bring the air conditioning unit.
I'll buy you lunch. Mcuoney's is not a cheap place
to eat lunch. Now we get there, shows up in
the parking lot. Dude, I forgot the air condition I'm
like mother. Then you're buying your own sushi. I still

(01:18):
bought it, but I need to go get it. Yeah,
I almost went and got it today because I'm like,
it's gonna warm. Yeah, it's good though. Yeah, it keeps
us smelt.

Speaker 4 (01:27):
You know, it's it's not that bad. Yeah, it's not
that bad.

Speaker 1 (01:30):
Well it's it's uh studios hot out, guns out whatever.

Speaker 4 (01:34):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (01:34):
It's like it's not sunny in here, so I can't
say sun's out, guns out, No, but we've got the
guns going. Yeah. I know. I almost wore tank today too.
I just I should have.

Speaker 4 (01:41):
I'm were of my speaker City Tank.

Speaker 1 (01:43):
I know, I love it more six million dollars if
the government knows about that.

Speaker 4 (01:47):
The government knows.

Speaker 1 (01:49):
So uh anyway, uh man, we've had we haven't seen
each other in a couple of weeks. We haven't done
a podcast since three weeks ago with Ricky. Yeah, it's
been a while. Well was it August first? Today's twenty first,
so tomorrow would be three weeks.

Speaker 4 (02:05):
So your kid moved back to school.

Speaker 1 (02:06):
Yep, went back to Boise. Uh. That was that was.
That was a good trip. Pretty easy to do because
nobody was moving in So that was nice. Because he's
an RA this year, so beat beat all the rush
there was. It was literally just us moving in.

Speaker 4 (02:20):
It was pretty fun.

Speaker 1 (02:21):
This his his move in is not anything to do
with you because he's an ra. Yeah so you had
like four people moving in. Yep.

Speaker 4 (02:28):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (02:29):
What'd you guys do that? You guys go hang out
like at his fraternity house. Yeah. We went to one
of the fraternity houses uh and hung out. Uh. Spent
a lot of time on the roof because initially it
was just like a group of like six dudes just
playing sports or games and hanging out. And then it
turned into a full blown party and I was definitely
out of place. I mean we're talking like super young girls,

(02:51):
super young dudes. Like people were looking at me like
who would find it? This guy? You know? So I
went up They have the you're the chaperone. Yeah, they
have like a ladder you go up the roof. So
I went up on the roof for like two hours
and hung out just by myself. Just took a bunch
of beverages up there with me, and I was like,
you know, I'm gonna let my kid do his thing
and like these people are And then I got to
a point I'm like I should go back to my hotel, Like, yeah,

(03:15):
I shouldn't be here right now. I felt very out
of place. Yeah, I get it.

Speaker 4 (03:18):
I get it.

Speaker 1 (03:19):
If there was any other like parent there, I would
have been cool. I got somebody. I was alone and
it was weird.

Speaker 4 (03:27):
Yeah, I get it.

Speaker 1 (03:30):
And they're like, who's the dude. Here's a weird dude
with the mustag? Yeah, exactly like I got looked. I'd
come in and go to the bathroom and people were
like the fuck, like, there's there's a there's a legit
adult here, the cops here. Yeah. Yeah, So it was
a good trip, that's what was going on. I played
some golf. I'm actually better than what you know we've

(03:52):
talked about. You also played like a fucking par party
a par three courses, par sixty, like fucking eighteen old
court eight Yeah yeah, okay, even more my point Yeah
part three courses, yeah yeah, part three it's got fours.

Speaker 4 (04:06):
It does have three or four of them.

Speaker 1 (04:08):
Yeah, I know what breens. So yeah, I had an
eighty six, So I did pretty good. Hey, I would
have still guessed you would have broke a hundred, like
you would have been.

Speaker 4 (04:15):
Over one hundred.

Speaker 1 (04:16):
Yeah on those shorter courses. I'm better because you're putting,
but like those can those can add up quick? But
I can put?

Speaker 4 (04:23):
Could I know you can? You can put? Yeah? So anyway,
ran with me.

Speaker 1 (04:27):
Man. We went to our first angels A's game in Sacramento.
You finally went to the Sacramento Kyle got free ticks,
so we went and then uh dude, we got our
fantasy football drafts coming up rapidly approaching. Now we're not
going to do a fantasy episodes. We learned from that,
but uh yeah, I got my first one Saturday. Actually,

(04:49):
well we had the Dynasty Draft like a while ago,
but that's different.

Speaker 4 (04:52):
It's different.

Speaker 1 (04:55):
But yeah, my big, my big, My main league is Saturday.
We usually do it Friday. We should be tomorrow, but
two of our guys have one has a cheerleader and
one has a football player, and so Friday nights are
kind of rough for them. Last year they drafted virtually
from football games. I remember that. And when then Dez
still can't come out. His kids are at the age
where he can't come out. So he was coming out

(05:17):
from every year from Milwaukee to draft with US and golf.
But he can't come out anymore because he's got three
kids and they're all doing their own ship so he's like, fuck, dude,
I can't make it. I mean they all can make.

Speaker 4 (05:27):
It, yes, but they're gonna miss shit.

Speaker 1 (05:29):
I'm a big proponent of not missing your kids ship
because you're you're gonna one day be like I'm never
gonna get this back, right, you know?

Speaker 4 (05:37):
And uh, and we do.

Speaker 1 (05:39):
He still face times in Yeah, so we're still interacting
with him.

Speaker 4 (05:43):
It's it's still fun.

Speaker 1 (05:43):
But we moved it to Saturday this year so that
Gary and Paula could be their live because it's not
fair to them they have to do that ship while
they're watching their kids, you know, don't have sex. Yeah,
it is their fault, well it is at fault. But
so anyway, another thing we haven't been the beer, which
we need to actually since Patrick closed, having to order

(06:05):
stuff and be proactive where we've been very bad about it. Yeah,
and I have a kit. It's a multi extra kick,
but I have a kit just sitting in my house
and I keep thinking like, oh, just brute today randomly.

Speaker 4 (06:14):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (06:14):
But the reason I brought that up is, Uh, I'm
fermenting Mountain Dew and Doctor Pepper and trying to turn
them into wines.

Speaker 4 (06:25):
Not together. They're separate.

Speaker 1 (06:26):
But uh so I went back and looked at that
post that I stole the idea from, and apparently after
he fermented it and poured it out, it didn't He
didn't like it, and the Doctor Pepper didn't turn out,
but the Mountain Dew one apparently did. So after these
are done, this guy's a mead guy, and he's got
a ton of different cool red mead recipes, I want
to start trying to make some mead because it's real easy.

Speaker 4 (06:49):
There's no there's no three hour brew process with me.

Speaker 1 (06:51):
Super easy.

Speaker 4 (06:52):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (06:52):
So it's all about just basically letting honey and water
and whatever other flavorings you want to.

Speaker 4 (06:58):
Put in ferment.

Speaker 1 (06:59):
It's like doing those cider kits.

Speaker 4 (07:01):
Yeah, well those are even quicker.

Speaker 1 (07:02):
I think I still have a cider kit too. I
think you brewed it, but no, I think I have
another one. Okay, all right, So anyway, so on September tenth,
we will bottle.

Speaker 4 (07:13):
The Mountain Dew and the Doctor Pepper one.

Speaker 1 (07:15):
It's perfect. So my birthday is the eighth, yeah, which
is the first minute at football. I'm taking the ninth off,
but the tenth I might work. I don't know. We'll see, well,
I could move it a day early, dude, that's just
the thirty day, Marcus.

Speaker 4 (07:29):
I'm not going to make or break it. I'm thinking.

Speaker 1 (07:32):
But we got Kyle's moving day to UC Davis. It's
September sixteenth, so the countdown is officially begun. Yep. Yeah,
And we knew it was coming up, we just didn't
know the exact day. Yeah, So September sixteenth at nine am.
It's a wild thing, man, I know. It's bizarre when
you come home and they're just not here.

Speaker 4 (07:49):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (07:49):
And also I got to give a shout with my
boy Ryan. He just completed Matilda the show six six
shows and we saw two of them. Kid does a
great job.

Speaker 5 (07:58):
Man.

Speaker 1 (07:58):
He's a dancer, have a big role in it, but
everything he always takes the roles with dancing because that's
what he likes doing. So he was in that of
the dancers. He's good man. He's got another one coming
up here in a month. So anyway, all right, man,
So Skeletor I think I see him over there in
the corner, just fucking steaming.

Speaker 4 (08:14):
Man.

Speaker 1 (08:15):
We've we've we've gone a little too long for his
liking before we got him in. Now he gets angry,
but I renegotiated his contract. He was getting four clips
an episode. He's been relegated back to one. And we'll
get into this in a little bit, but I listened
before we start skeletor, we'll go back to what we

(08:35):
were talking about earlier for off the off air. I listened.
I don't know what made me. Oh, I know exactly
what made me do it. I got a Facebook messenger
message from a next girlfriend who happened to be the
next door neighbor of Ricky V. And anyway, I don't

(08:55):
want to put her business out there, but anyway, she
was having a moment and she felt the need to
apologize to me for how it ended. Oh my god.
But I'm like, I'm good man, We're good. Like what's
going on time ago? I'm not going to put the
business out there, but something pretty serious is going on

(09:17):
in her life, and she just had a moment where
she just felt like she needed to make amends to people,
and I was one of them.

Speaker 4 (09:23):
And so.

Speaker 1 (09:27):
I went back and listened to the Ricky V episode
again because I felt maybe she needed to pick me
up or something.

Speaker 4 (09:33):
And so I went back and.

Speaker 1 (09:35):
Listened to it because I was going to say, hey,
if you're feeling nostalgic and you're like you're looking back
at your life, how about you listen to this one
because we talked about Cottonwood. We talked about like he
was your neighbor and one of your best friends. I
was your first love and you were my first love,
and I want you to go back and listen to
this episode. But I listened to that episode and there
was a comment that I made that So I never

(09:56):
ended up saying, hey, you should go listen to this,
and it wasn't a comment, but I had joke jokingly
said well you probably hooked up with my girlfriend too,
or something like that as a joke.

Speaker 4 (10:06):
It is a total joke.

Speaker 1 (10:07):
Is I had just told a story about how Cotton
Order was a small town, and I made the joke
about I remember this at my brother's wedding about I
knew he was serious about my sister in Low, but
he would let me date, So it was out of context.
You might have taken offense to it, and I didn't
want that, so I chose not to. But what I'm
getting at is that I'm listening back to that episode.
We were a much different podcast back then. Not all great,

(10:30):
and we've evolved and our production value has gone up.

Speaker 4 (10:34):
We run an efficient like our show flows.

Speaker 1 (10:37):
It's got production value now, but I think it's gotten
to production stale. It's gotten stale. I feel like we're
just running the same script with different content every fucking time.
So that led me to making some changes to kind
of maybe going back to our roots a little bit
with while still respecting the stuff that we've been doing lately.

(10:59):
We're not going to get We're not doing the Twitter
files tonight. It's an example, but the Twitter files aren't gone.
There's just not an obligation to do them every episode.
I felt like it got to be an obligation and
I had to find content, and we got too serious.
Sometimes we were goofballs for forty five minutes, then we
get serious for twenty five and like that just changed
the whole vibe of the podcast. Yeah, we're all having
a good time, and it's like fuck, all of a

(11:20):
sudden that we're fucking passioned Newsom and liberals and this,
that and the other. He does not necessarily all liberals,
but Newsome deserves to me right. But my p point,
My point is is that I'd leave it going. Man,
we had a great time. Why do I feel like it?

Speaker 4 (11:34):
Like?

Speaker 1 (11:34):
Why do I feel like I'm a downer right now?
So the Twitter Files, I think there was always some
fun stuff in the Twitter Files, but there's always some
serious stuff. So it's not going to be in everything.
The jdut s t o TN love the segment. I
don't want to be dirt bags every episode, but I
think when I have the right one and it's too
good not to play, we're gonna play. I don't want

(11:54):
to force it like last time we did what I felt.
I felt I forced it like the Alaskan one.

Speaker 4 (11:58):
I'm like that sounds rapy, like you know what I mean?
Like so a bit.

Speaker 1 (12:02):
None of the segments are going away. They're just not
going to be in every episode. And I got a
new one first tonight that we're gonna have multiple segments.

Speaker 4 (12:10):
Yes, and and then maybe some episodes and.

Speaker 1 (12:13):
You're gonna have to tune in to figure out which segments.

Speaker 4 (12:15):
Were doing exactly.

Speaker 1 (12:16):
So tonight we get so Skeletor is gonna be towed
back to one. It's got to be a banger. Though
I don't know if this one's a banger, but I
like it.

Speaker 4 (12:26):
A lot.

Speaker 1 (12:26):
I can't wait to hear it. All right, I have
to do the remember you do the remember because it
got cut off. Remember. If you know what a butthole
looks like, odds are, it's because you've seen someone else.
Is I'm tearing meet again. That's a good point. I mean,

(12:48):
it's not like you can see your own well without
a mirror. Without a mirror, I have to admit, I'm
going to a petty moment full disclosure.

Speaker 4 (12:55):
I've seen mine.

Speaker 1 (12:55):
I've seen mine because you know, like when you manscape,
you absolutely need to see your own ball. Yeah, because
I need to know what I'm cutting down there. Yeah,
I mean I'd be alive if I haven't hovered over
a mirror while manscaping. Yeah, and I'm like, damn, that's
my butthole. We're getting older, man, Like there's there's hemorrhoids,
there's piles. There's even anal fish. I have that. But

(13:16):
IM just saying like there's some things that you're like
the hell well in your case, like leakage, all that
pagan and it goes on in the hooker household. All right, man,
So one thing we're not going to get rid of
one hundred percent of the time is the fucking crazy

(13:37):
sports stats because we love sports man and it creates
content conversations at memories. But one thing I'm adding, we've
never had crazy stats segment music. Oh yeah, So here
we go.

Speaker 5 (13:55):
Every single one's got a store rich you jewn everyone good.

Speaker 2 (14:04):
To the House of Hill and coming back this way.

Speaker 1 (14:09):
I'm not a sevent for you.

Speaker 4 (14:13):
You got it?

Speaker 1 (14:13):
Like I just I don't know why, but I felt
that that was highly appropriate for everyone's stored at the
stats segment. Everybody knows about it, right, it's going to
the lines, right. So the first one baseball and uh,
it's kind of a it's I mean, he's it's Rafael
Paul Marrow Hall of Famers. He excluded because of the roids.

(14:37):
He tested positive once, but I think I think I
want to say he got in.

Speaker 4 (14:40):
You have to check fact. But anyway you read.

Speaker 1 (14:43):
It, he did get busted for steroids though, yes he did, yes,
and he did Viagra commercials. Got this ship that was
going through that guy system.

Speaker 4 (14:52):
Rafael pal Marrow.

Speaker 1 (14:55):
Hit five hundred and sixty nine career home runs and
eighteen hundred and thirty five RBIs epic Hall of Fame
worthy numbers. But he never led the American League in
home runs or RBIs in a single season. That's insane. Yeah,
I mean those, I mean that just goes to show you.

(15:16):
The era that he played in was so like we
did one a couple of weeks ago where like we
put the numbers up there, it was like one hundred
and thirty RBIs forty home runs. He hit three hundred
and finished eighth in MVP voting. You know, like shit
like that. It was just a weird era. The next
one hits home for both of us. Okay, we both

(15:39):
have had this player on our roster recently. You guys
spend a little more draft capital on him than we did.
But mister Trey Lance, who are boy? Jude just did
a man K four out in Dallas. I know, it's insane, epic, man,
I've been watching that and I just fucking love it.
Oh dude, he has built Trey Lance the most epic man.

(16:01):
I love this. I mean, and they're both both Bison boys.
That's that's the huge.

Speaker 4 (16:06):
Huge connection.

Speaker 1 (16:06):
Yeah, so fun stat bo Nicks. Through five hundred and
eighty nine passes last season as a Denver Bronco, Trey
Lance has thrown a total of four hundred and sixty
one passes since he graduated high school seven years ago.
It's insane. Well, I mean he threw he had the
one year at North Dakota State right where he broke out,

(16:27):
and then the next year was COVID D opted out Yep.

Speaker 4 (16:30):
Then he went into the draft.

Speaker 1 (16:31):
Niners took him, played two games, got hurt yep. And
then brock Purty became a thing. And then now he's
been a journeyman. Yeah, and apparently he's looking pretty good
in LA.

Speaker 4 (16:42):
I don't wish that guy. I don't wish him.

Speaker 1 (16:46):
Like even when he was in Dallas, I was like,
I hope that guy turns into I was hoping there
was lightning in a bottle. It was like, I, as
much as I hate Dallas, I hope that Trey Lance
would succeed there. I hope he succeeds anywhere. How could
you dis like the guy, Like he didn't choose that path. No,
it's just insane. I always said, though, when when the

(17:06):
Niners drafted him and what they gave up too much.
It wasn't that I didn't think that he could be
a good player. I thought he was highly unproven. Yes,
and I think for an unproven player, they gave up
a lot. They did, but in hindsight that trade is
the only reason they have Rock Party, who costs a

(17:28):
little bit more money. Now, Yes, but that worked out
in the end. It worked. It worked out in its
weird own way. It wasn't the way they wanted it,
to know, but it definitely worked out.

Speaker 4 (17:38):
It did.

Speaker 1 (17:39):
And also, I just I did find out palm Arrow
is not a Hall of Famer. It's because of the steroids. Yes, yeah,
that's what I asked. That would have been my guess.
But there was a little little something in the back
of my mind saying, even though he tested positive, because
he owned it, did they let him in And I
couldn't remember. I mean, he's a five hundred homer, three
thousand hit guy. That's a that's an eighteen hundred RBI.
That's a guaranteed Hall of Fame. Oh, no doubt, first ballot,

(18:01):
no doubt. But here less he got suspended for steroids. Suspended,
not just oh, we we're pretty sure you did it,
but we can't prove it. They proved it with him,
So he's just a positive. It's a bummer. So you know,
we've talked a lot about over the history of recent
history of this podcast, the declining batting average and the

(18:22):
launch angle era and the way the whole which I hate,
I know you do, but like there's a lot of
reasons why it's happening, and I know we've covered it
at length. There's there's such an emphasis on hitting doubles
and home runs and power numbers that like they've lost
the two strike approach. It's less about launch angle, and
it's more about losing the two strike approach just getting

(18:45):
the bat on the ball, putting it in play. But
the biggest, the biggest thing, and we've talked about this
is the specialization of pitching. They're not getting a starter
of the fourth time in the game. They're not getting
the starter of the third time a lot of times.
So this fact kind of nails it at home. Babe
Ruth hit sixty home runs in nineteen twenty seven. Guess

(19:08):
how many different pictures he faced that year? Ten?

Speaker 4 (19:12):
Okay, that's a little crazy.

Speaker 1 (19:13):
Sixty four Okay, in nineteen twenty seven, sixty home runs
he faced sixty four different pictures. Matt Olsen hit fifty
four home runs in twenty twenty three and faced three
hundred and nineteen different pictures, dude, with most of them
probably being lefties late in the game. That's one of

(19:34):
the things we do need to consider is the specialization
of the pitching and you know, like being able to
bring multiple guys in to get out, whereas it didn't
exist back when. You know, sure, and I see that
as part of it. But still the fact remains that
certain hitters come up, it doesn't matter the situation, what

(19:54):
pitchers come in. The defense does still shift, and nobody's
trying to beat the shift. All they're trying to do
is just pull the ball wherever it is and put
it over everyone's head. It's a lot of difference. Fucking Well,
what I'm saying is it's not one factor. It's a
lot of different sit and that is that is definitely
a part of it. Yeah, there's a lot of reasons
and there's but it's not just one thing. It's not

(20:14):
just the launch angle and hitting home runs. There's a
lot of shit that goes into it.

Speaker 4 (20:18):
All.

Speaker 1 (20:18):
Right, So this one We've talked about this guy in
the podcast.

Speaker 4 (20:21):
Before, and that's Larry Walker.

Speaker 1 (20:23):
Yeah, Okay, there have been over like would we say
twenty two or twenty three thousand MLB players over the
course of MLB history. Not enough to fill a stadium, right,
that was one of the things we did before. Okay,
So twenty two, twenty three thousand MLB players in history, Okay,
just one of them has three hundred and fifty home runs,

(20:44):
two hundred stolen bases, a three hundred batting average, and
a four hundred career on base percentage in their career.

Speaker 4 (20:49):
His name is Larry Walker. Yeah, that's insane.

Speaker 1 (20:52):
The dude was good, man. He's so underrated when you
talk about the greats in the game. It's so I
think a lot of people it's tainted because he spent
a lot of time in Colorado. Yeah, and that's where
people say, like now, but he also spent time other
places though he didn't just play in Colorado. Montreal.

Speaker 4 (21:07):
Yeah, yeah, all.

Speaker 1 (21:08):
Right, last one, and I think this one's actually this
is one of those ones. It kind of like, it's
kind of eerie. Listen to the numbers. Okay, you're gonna
hear George Brett's name. You're gonna hear Mike Schmidt's name.
They're both third basemen, right, Hall of Fame, third basement.
So George Brett was selected with the twenty ninth pick
twenty ninth pick in the nineteen seventy one draft, so

(21:29):
twenty ninth in nineteen seventy one, and he retired with
one thousand, five hundred and ninety six career runs back
at it. Mike Schmidt was selected with the thirtieth pick,
not twenty nine, thirtieth pick, in the same nineteen seventy
one draft, and he retired with one thousand, five hundred

(21:50):
and ninety five RBIs one one less, one pick, one
less RBI in the same draft, says wild next sucking nuts,
that's crazy.

Speaker 4 (22:02):
Yeah, so, hey, the Royals made the right choice.

Speaker 1 (22:04):
I guess they did. They got the Hey, but.

Speaker 4 (22:06):
That one RBI might have been a game that got
it might have been an RBI. They got him to
the playoffs for.

Speaker 1 (22:09):
Sure, it could have been a game winning RBI, could
have been a huge difference making. That's fucking wild and clearly.
I was born in eighty I wasn't alive when either
one of them were drafted. You weren't even alive one
of those drafted.

Speaker 4 (22:22):
But I watched them play their whole career.

Speaker 1 (22:23):
That's fucking wild man. Yeah, yeah, I got one more. Okay,
I got I got a wild card here, okay, and
you're probably hate it a little bit just because it's
you know, it goes against the Cowboys a bit, which
kind of is like the biggest fleece contract in the
history of lots of contracts. Dak Prescott has two career

(22:47):
playoff wins. Colin Kaepernick has four.

Speaker 4 (22:52):
I saw that one.

Speaker 1 (22:54):
It's like, oh my god, I know, so.

Speaker 4 (22:56):
I saw that one. I did see that one.

Speaker 1 (22:59):
And then it goes on and says, you know that
Dak Prescott is the is the rich person's Kirk Cousins.
He yeah, gets paid like Patrick Mahomes, but he plays
like Kirk Cousins.

Speaker 4 (23:12):
Well, and Kirk Cousins got paid too.

Speaker 1 (23:14):
Yeah, but it's like, where's your playoff success? Like I
think Dak Prescott might have more playoff wins than Kirk Cousins.
That'd be something to look up exactly. I mean, maybe
Kirk Cousins has one.

Speaker 4 (23:27):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (23:28):
Yeah, you're kind of right, but it's that's wild that
Dak Prescott only has two career playoffs.

Speaker 4 (23:34):
That's wild.

Speaker 1 (23:34):
But the and the you know, and here's I was
listening to a fantasy podcast because I always ramp up
listening to the podcast pre draft, and one of my
favorite ones is the Fantasy Footballers. If you haven't listened
to these guys, they're hilarious, dude, And they were they
were saying that, like one of them was like, well,
like that. They're talking about how Dak's a sneaky pick

(23:57):
this year, like just pick him late because he has
a chance to be the number and quarterback. But he's
going off the boards like the eleventh or twelfth wards.
Zach's gonna put up numbers, oh with George Pickens and
CD and it's like Philip Rivers and their defense is
gonna be shit, So he's always gonna put up. But
they but the thing was is they didn't realize actually
how successful the Cowboys have been in the last twenty years.

(24:17):
Like everybody says, well, these they haven't won Super Bowls,
they haven't won a lot of playoff games, but they
win a lot of football games. They have a better
record in the last twenty years than the forty nine
regular season success doesn't play not my point. Yeah, they're
talking about being a successful team. Only one team wins
it every year, of course, but like they're much more
successful than people think because they're expected to win Super

(24:39):
Bowls the way the hype is every year, like Jerry
Jones and the Mantra of the Cowboys and which I'm
watching the Netflix docu series on it right now, documentary amazing.
There's a handful of franchises that you're expecting to win
it every year. Cowboys are one, nine, Ers are one. Yeah,
Eagles like there's a few Patriots were, Pitchets were Yeah.

(25:01):
No one's expecting it now, but like if you look back,
there's been in the last twenty years. The only bad
seasons they've had is when Romo went down or when
Dak went down. Other than that, they've been five hundred
or better every single season, and more often better, Like
five hundred.

Speaker 4 (25:18):
Is like the worst it gets.

Speaker 1 (25:19):
So yeah, the only bad seasons they've had is literally
when they're starting cos and that'll do it to great
teams and teams that perennially.

Speaker 4 (25:28):
Do the right things.

Speaker 1 (25:29):
Although well, it's very weird to say because Jerry Jones
is I know you're not a Cowboy fan and you
hate him, but like that's if you have time. That
documentary is it's excellent. Oh, I'm going to watch it.

Speaker 4 (25:40):
It's very good.

Speaker 1 (25:41):
I love sports.

Speaker 4 (25:42):
Yeah, it's it's good.

Speaker 1 (25:43):
And it takes you back because there's a lot of
Niner cowboy stuff in Yeah, and you know and then
and we all know the story.

Speaker 4 (25:49):
Yeah, the Empire does strike back.

Speaker 1 (25:51):
The Cowboys won the they won the first two, right,
but the Empire strikes back. Yeah. It always comes back around. Yeah,
and that's the joy watching it. Yeah, So you'll get that, Like,
you'll get that, like, Okay, they got us here, but
you're going to get that in ninety four to Lea.

Speaker 4 (26:06):
Just let you know, the Niners do beat him.

Speaker 1 (26:08):
Oh, I'm aware, and I beat him most recently in
the playoffs. Everything that's not in the documentary, we're talking
about the documentary, all right, man. So with all these
fans blown in here and that sushi lunches, fill man,
we need to get a sponsor in real quick.

Speaker 4 (26:25):
Here we go.

Speaker 2 (26:27):
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then Joel and his crew came by and installed in
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Speaker 1 (27:43):
So Joel's glory Holes. Yeah, thank you, Joel. Joel's glory
Holes Wow, did that sound like Sam Elliott. Yeah, I
think that guy's trying to do that voice. Yeah, we're
not just experience or installing holes. We're installing whole experiences, memories.

Speaker 4 (28:04):
We're not cock eyed.

Speaker 1 (28:07):
Fantastic. Thank you, Joel, Yeah, thank you, Joel.

Speaker 4 (28:11):
We appreciate your efforts.

Speaker 1 (28:13):
Uh, all right, let's the one thing we are missing
in the Petty Hooker Worldwide Studio.

Speaker 4 (28:19):
There's no gloryhole.

Speaker 1 (28:23):
If we gotta have Joel come by and put a
fucking gloryhole into the laundry room. But you said that's
the one thing we're missing. I did not expect you
to say we're missing a gloryhole.

Speaker 4 (28:35):
Or that in an air conditioner.

Speaker 1 (28:38):
I thought you were going to go somewhere. We gotta
have that gloryhole in before Jeremy mix this next next appearance.

Speaker 4 (28:43):
Yeah, oh yeah, that'd be great. To the Jay doud stop.

Speaker 1 (28:46):
It was like, even just put like a fake one.

Speaker 4 (28:48):
Well, it would be a fake one.

Speaker 1 (28:50):
I don't want anybody other side of the fucking wall
in my house doing the other side of the gloryhole.
Come on, man, I'm not fucking crazy. It'd be a
fake one. It'd be too thick. Anyways, nobody's going to
get their sick to that. It's a firewall.

Speaker 4 (29:03):
Joel control through it.

Speaker 1 (29:06):
Joel's glory holes one eight hundred six nine six nine
six nine six Jesus. All right, man, So we got
a top five Slash ten list because we've got our
new adaptation, and I got a little clip here to

(29:27):
bring us into what that. Let's take a break before
we do that.

Speaker 6 (29:29):
All right, Well we will take a break.

Speaker 4 (29:52):
Alright.

Speaker 1 (29:53):
Episode one, we're back with our top ten and Slash
five Slash ten lists of the night with a little
entry segment music. I want to see if any of
you listeners, viewers can I guess what the segment is
going to be based on the clip.

Speaker 4 (30:14):
I don't think you're gonna that was very sedate.

Speaker 1 (30:32):
Your Doyle Rules?

Speaker 4 (30:37):
What is that?

Speaker 1 (30:38):
What is it from Doyles Doyle Rules? That's not Big
Daddy started to be is his name and he went
back to school Billy Billy Madison or Doyle Rules. So
it's our top five elementary school games that we used

(30:58):
to play as kids. I don't know what it is, dude.

Speaker 4 (31:01):
I love this one.

Speaker 1 (31:02):
It's good. It's wholesome, wholesome ish because.

Speaker 4 (31:07):
I got one on the list. It ain't so wholesome.

Speaker 1 (31:11):
Oh oh, you're talking like little Finger sally around the tree,
like when the teachers aren't looking, You're you're talking about
those games. No, okay, well I don't know what other
wholesome games like? Is it all the guys who played
on Grandpa's war Metals off the Bridge Chip?

Speaker 4 (31:27):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (31:28):
I pissed in my pants and I said, you got
a lumpy butt?

Speaker 4 (31:33):
All right?

Speaker 1 (31:34):
Top five elementary school Games, new format. We can't repeat
each other, and we're not going you know, five to one.
We just we're going out. We're throwing our bangers out
right quick. Because I don't want Hooker to take mine.
He doesn't want me to take his. So you start,
hook Oh, I get to start. You always start, all right? God,
you act like you've never been on this podcast before.

(31:55):
You've started a couple of times only when you're not ready. Okay, Well,
if you want to start, I'm gonna take the number
one of all time.

Speaker 4 (32:03):
Take it.

Speaker 1 (32:03):
Dodgeball. Yeah, dodgeball is pretty good.

Speaker 4 (32:07):
It's pretty good.

Speaker 1 (32:08):
I mean that was the intro. It's O Doyle rules,
But Doyle rules dodgeball. I know, I know what it
was all right, so I'm gonna I'm just gonna take it. It
was this one was frowned upon by our educational staff.
But don't tell me. And I know that this is
an insensitive name. Oh yeah, but every single one of

(32:31):
you who are listening to this podcast at one time
played a game called Smear the Queer and no offense. Hey,
just the name of the game. We're not trying to
smear anybody. That's what it was called tackling. We all
played it, got out lot at some point, but.

Speaker 4 (32:47):
It was never okay. We just had to play it
till we did told the stop.

Speaker 1 (32:49):
Yeah, we we played it anyways. Yeah, so well done.
Dodgeball was on my list, the big one, but of course,
yeah it wasn't number one. All right, what's your what's
your next one? Tetherball? I love tetherball, but that's it
wasn't it. It probably wasn't gonna make my tough.

Speaker 4 (33:04):
Fu.

Speaker 1 (33:04):
Does tether ball even exist anymore?

Speaker 4 (33:06):
Yes? It does.

Speaker 1 (33:06):
Vincel Brown has them. Wow, did you ever take your
kids over to Vincel Brown earlier? But I'm saying like
I'm saying, like not when our kids were kids, but
like today, our kids were kids like five years ago, dude.
What my kids are adults, dude, But they were vencil
Brown like eight years ago, like not that long ago,
and they have tetherball courts and they still haven't. You
think in the last eight years they got rid of

(33:28):
because your kids turned into adults. No, I don't fucking
go over there.

Speaker 4 (33:31):
They have fun.

Speaker 1 (33:32):
I'm not like you. I don't I don't hang around
elementary schools. I drive buy it every day the kid.
All right, So my next one, and I adapted this game.
I adapted it to fit my needs as a guy
who wanted to play linebacker his whole life.

Speaker 4 (33:48):
Remember a game called Red Rover.

Speaker 1 (33:51):
Yes, damn it, that's on my list, Red Rover, Red Rover,
said Nikki right over. Yeah, I would be the guy
behind the line, way for Nikki to break through the
line and just fucking plow them. Yeah. Red Rover is
a great one. Red Rover on my list, A good one.
Fucking Red Rover, Dude.

Speaker 4 (34:06):
I loved that.

Speaker 1 (34:06):
Gayeah, Like, my kids have no idea where Red River is.
I don't think the kids know most of these games. Yeah, well,
they know Dodgeballs, yeah, but they definitely don't know Red River. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (34:18):
Red Rover was a good one.

Speaker 1 (34:19):
It's a great one. It's a great one. Done.

Speaker 4 (34:22):
All right, what's your third?

Speaker 1 (34:24):
Butts up?

Speaker 4 (34:25):
Butts up?

Speaker 1 (34:26):
Yeah, that's the game the kids all play over at
Richards Field everything. Yeah, they call it wallball nowa yeah,
or something similar to that. But I don't think they
throw it at each other's butts, do they know? Butts
up was? I mean, once you got into the scoring
or whatever and they had to like stand up against
the wall with their ass out, you throw the ball
as hard as you can at their ass.

Speaker 4 (34:45):
That was after a game of That was after a game.

Speaker 1 (34:47):
Of wallball, though, right, But I think it was called
butts up.

Speaker 4 (34:51):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (34:51):
I think they just adapted. Didn't call it wall ball
because probably in today's society, you can't really throw it
someone's ass the way that we could. True, So butts up,
all right? I had that under wallball. Yeah, okay, all right,
So like wallaball didn't exist when we were kids.

Speaker 4 (35:10):
Well okay, then maybe we're thinking of a different game.

Speaker 1 (35:12):
So when you had the so in my school, we
had the big like it was almost like a it was.

Speaker 4 (35:17):
Handball, kind of a handball.

Speaker 1 (35:18):
Yeah, ham. We had like four courts where the tall
fan like the wall with the side they called wall ball. Now,
but what what when you hit the big the big
bouncy red balls and like and then you would like
you hit off the sides and you can only bounce
once before you hit it. What was that called? I
don't remember, but this definitely was at wallball. Okay, that's
what I kind of called. I couldn't remember. Yeah, I

(35:39):
couldn't remember what that was called. But he butts up? Yeah,
well that it definitely became butts up, all right. So
my next one is I always was a I didn't
like big baby bounces, like little baby. I know where
you're going with this one.

Speaker 4 (35:55):
Damn fucking kickball. I was.

Speaker 1 (35:57):
I loved playing kickball. We got a kickball game going. Yeah,
I'm there baby man, it's there. Yeah kickball. Did you
were you were your big baby bounces? Did you guys
call them that? I don't know. I knew what you
were talking about because I knew that people call them.
I don't know if that's what I called them. But
because you could, as a batter, you could call your bounces. Yeah,
and this is this one was not so we talked
earlier off air, is like, is it our list gonna

(36:19):
trand like, are they going to be like because we
have about eight or nine year age difference, is there
going to be like some kind of generational difference in
our games or regional because I grew up in Northern California.
You kind of grew up in Napa and San Diego,
but you probably weren't playing those games in San Diego
because you were a Napa guy. Yeah. Yeah, so mine
was in but I had two years of elementary school

(36:40):
in SoCal and the big baby bounces, high baby bounces
and little baby bounces that was.

Speaker 4 (36:45):
That was a SoCal thing and North cal thing.

Speaker 1 (36:47):
Interesting.

Speaker 4 (36:48):
Yeah, so I was.

Speaker 1 (36:49):
I like the little baby bouncees because you can get
more air on it, the high baby bouncers, big baby
whatever you want to call them, less predictability. Yeah that
makes sense. Yeah, for sure.

Speaker 4 (36:59):
What's your worth.

Speaker 1 (37:02):
This one? I mean, they're they're painted on every playground,
at least they were when I was a kid, and
they still are. And the last I saw at the
elementary school over your vncil brown, last time I saw it,
which is years now, four square.

Speaker 4 (37:17):
Oh yeah, that's a good game. We would draw.

Speaker 1 (37:19):
Remember like remember when your kids like they'd always did
you went back when you were married.

Speaker 4 (37:23):
Did Jen ever have like.

Speaker 1 (37:26):
Chalk for the kids to draw on the driveway and
on the sidewalk. Yeah, our boys would draw four square
and we'd play in the front in the court. Yeah.
Four square is great. Oh it's a great I love
four square.

Speaker 4 (37:36):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (37:36):
I would those kids never beat me, No, I would
run them, smoke them, just bounce it right over their heads.
Had to grow, get get better, get what it was?

Speaker 4 (37:49):
What is it not? Get better? Better? Not better?

Speaker 1 (37:52):
Yeah, not my fault that you're tiny. All right, So
I'm on mind. This is my number four. And this
was more of a I know this is not a
cool game or whatever, but it brings back a lot
of memories for me.

Speaker 4 (38:08):
It was more of a rainy day game. Heads up
seven up?

Speaker 1 (38:12):
Ah, yes, Saul, heads up seven for sure. I ducked
up goose. I would always cheat, and I would I
put my head on the fucking desk.

Speaker 4 (38:21):
But I'd see and I'd look at the feet, I'd
look at the shoes.

Speaker 1 (38:24):
Yeah, you knew exactly who fucking it was, son of
a bit like Jeremy Denny. I know it was you, fool.
I saw your shoes shoes, bastard. I know I'm gonna
get you now. The only thing is about the only
thing about heads up seven up that sucked was it
was a rainy day and you couldn't go outside. That's fair. Yeah,
all right, what's your last one?

Speaker 4 (38:43):
Hook?

Speaker 1 (38:44):
All right? This is just a classic game. I mean
still make I still kind of wish I could play
it nowadays, although we'd probably hurt each other. Freeze tag.

Speaker 4 (38:56):
So I was gonna say tag, yeah, freeze tag.

Speaker 1 (38:58):
Yeah, tag is different than free stuff. Free is a
different element. Yeah, I was gonna say tag, and I'm
gonna stick the tag. I mean it's different. It is
a different game. Yeah, Freeze tag and tag are different.
I hate a tag tag. You're out freeze tag. Yeah,
you'd come back in because you're just frozen until someone
else tags you and then you're back in.

Speaker 4 (39:17):
I hear you.

Speaker 1 (39:18):
Because when we were when we were like, I don't
know how it was when you went to school or
where you went to school, because every school is a
little different. But we mostly with the boys when we'd
go out, we played mostly like to touch, Yeah, we
played football was or we played basketball, yeah, And so
that was pretty much dominated recesses. But when there was
a girl that liked you, you played whatever she was playing. No,

(39:39):
Like you found out how they liked you because they'd
like tag, you're it, and they'd always want to play tag.
And like all the boys at whoever they liked, they
played tag. That was how the girls they kind of
like to bother you. You always knew how the girl liked
you because they'd always bother you. It's like fourth grade,
you pull the girl's hair of the girl you like. Yeah, yeah,
like you were ad dick to the girl you like, right, Like, well,
the girls always played hag.

Speaker 4 (40:00):
We already knew. We always. We didn't pick up on
it so much then, but I think we did maybe.

Speaker 1 (40:04):
A couple of years later, like whatever tag games would
break out, like we were like the the guy that
they'd go it after was like the guy they all liked. Yeah,
I mean that's true because I think it was like
fifth grade. I we were playing soccer and I tripped
the girl that I liked, and she like totally fucking
like fucked up wrinkle prob. I just sprained it, right,
But you've been breaking hearts and ankles for years due. Yeah.

(40:26):
Her name was Amy to be a oh wow, shout
out to Amy to be a I will never forget
tripping her because I liked her and she came up lame.

Speaker 4 (40:38):
I think Jeremy will.

Speaker 1 (40:39):
Uh well, no one tripped Anna Brincat, but Anna Brincat
was like she was it, like she was the one
we dare trip her. No, we all loved Anna Brinkat. Dude,
nobody was gonna, even Ricky, even Ricky will know he
knows you knows who she is. Nobody exact.

Speaker 4 (40:56):
All these guys like.

Speaker 1 (40:57):
Says like Anna Brinkcat. Yeah, that'shious. When Facebook came out,
we all friended I found and Zach friended me. He's like,
holy shit, and a brink Cat, Like we all want
to see what she turned into because she moved away
after fifth grade and we were like we always wanted
to know, like whatever happened to her?

Speaker 4 (41:15):
And then we found her on Facebook.

Speaker 1 (41:16):
We're like, she looks almost exactly the same, except as
a very very sexy adult version. I had a girl
in middle school that turned out to be that way too.
Yeah yeah, but she this one she used to love
to go to uh. Based on her Facebook post's burning
man and her outfits. Burning Man outfits. Yeah, barely anything.

(41:36):
Well most people burning man ded up naked and exactly
well that are just barely wearing anything. Not most, but
a huge population. Yes, yes, yes, yes, sorry. So I
had wall Ball and Hopscotch on the list just because
I needed to make sure I had ten. I did so,
I did, I know why? Sorry, you talked to them?

(41:57):
That what I thought I was friends with? Sad me
to be on Facebook? Oh yeah, I feel like she
unfriended me. She might have, yeah, or maybe she just
got off of Facebook. Anna doesn't post anymore. She like
she still got a profile, but she doesn't. She's not
active on it. Yeah. Isn't it weird that you're like, oh,
this is a girl that yeah crushed. Back in the day,
we all like there was not a single dude and
none of us would I didn't see Rick for years.

Speaker 4 (42:18):
I didn't see Zach for years. I didn't see Jaron.

Speaker 1 (42:21):
I didn't see Tracy, my friend Tracy Fears. Now through Facebook,
we've all reconnected and we've all become friends again. And
there wasn't a single one of us in the twenty
years that we lost touch with each other that wasn't
Wondering what happened to Anna Brink. We all had the
same burning question in our mind. And when we all
found her on Facebook, they were messages flying, how you doing?

(42:45):
No not to Anna, just amongst us.

Speaker 4 (42:48):
We found her. We found her, that's all friend her.

Speaker 1 (42:51):
At the same time, She's like, what the fuck? No,
Jesus Christ, I'm not trying to raise a circle jerk.
Pretty much was hilarious. All right, so now yeah, sorry,
all right?

Speaker 4 (43:05):
So did you have another one that you didn't get
to list?

Speaker 1 (43:08):
No, actually I got I mean you took one of mine.

Speaker 4 (43:11):
I took. I took that took Smear of the Queer too, right.

Speaker 1 (43:14):
Yeah, Smear of the quer in red River. With the
two that I was, I only had seven because I
was like, I don't know, like, I mean, I could
come up with another one. There was there was another
one of the other ones with like like balloons, frisbees,
I can't remember. Capture the Flag, okay, all right, and
we'd never Capture the Flag. Would definitely be another one
that I could. I could honestly that might even be

(43:38):
better than freesttag And I think about it, Catch the Flag.

Speaker 4 (43:42):
I know what the game is, but we never played it.

Speaker 1 (43:44):
Yeah, that was a great one. Yeah, I've drawn a blank.
I'm drawn blanks. Now those are the big ones. Those
are the ones that I didn't have to research. Those
are the ones that immediately came came to mind. All right,
so we got one more. This isn't really a top
ten list. This is and you don't know what this is.

(44:06):
This is an unplanned topic. I'm gonna play the clip. Pregnancy,
no much different. There's no commitment after we're done. That's exactly.
So I'm gonna play this clip. You are gonna I'm
gonna then ask you if you can figure out what
the list, because I mean, we're gonna talk. It's not

(44:27):
like we're not going to do a top five to
ten list whatever you want to call it. But we
will list a couple of things. Okay, after that'll come
to mind, right, But I want to see, if you're,
based on the clip, if you can figure out what
the topic's gonna be. All right, Okay, beer drinking, that's it.

Speaker 2 (44:49):
Finehorn is finkl Finkel is iron horn.

Speaker 3 (44:54):
Einehorn is a man.

Speaker 1 (44:58):
Oh my, go I know it is a man. I
remember playing the Crying game. No, that was very clearly
a spin. I'm aware. So what what would you consider

(45:21):
that part of the movie to be, Like, it's like
when he figures out the whole point of the movie, right,
like when you come to the like you've been investigating
this whole time, or the whole the twist, Oh, the twist,
the greatest movie twists. Oh so the first one that

(45:43):
comes to my mind every time when you think of
a movie twist, it's the sixth sense.

Speaker 4 (45:49):
I see dead people and you don't.

Speaker 1 (45:50):
You know, if people haven't seen the sixth sense at
this point, I don't want to spoil it for you,
but if you haven't seen it today, I mean, Bruce
Willis doesn't even remember Out of Talk, so you haven't
seen the movie. So that's that's one of the old
that's the first one when I when I think when
movie twists, that come to mind. But if you think

(46:12):
about it a little bit more, there's some really classic
like unforeseen twists that come to mind in movies. I
you know, got me, come on, dude, you like there's
Tyler Dirton. Oh yeah, that was a great tell.

Speaker 4 (46:27):
We Fight Club didn't have a fucking unforeseen twist.

Speaker 1 (46:30):
That's a twist. Yeah. Yeah, So there's a lot dude,
my brain is just not in this in this space. Okay, Okay,
so they don't have the head space available right now.
So how about like this one like this is not
one that I thought of, but I just I looked
it up and I'm like, I just want to see,
like if I'm on the right track, Shin, That wasn't

(46:50):
a twist. That's a twist. That was a slow build
up to what we all knew it was going to happen. Fine,
Empire strikes back. The when the the lineage and the
the that the what's nothing? When Darth Vader's father when
who he never says that, by the way, he says yeah,
he says no, he doesn't. He doesn't say, Luke, I

(47:13):
am your father. He says, no, I am your father. Right, No,
he never says that, that says something like that. That's
what he what are those things we call like? Right,
that's the Mandela fact.

Speaker 4 (47:22):
It's not he never says it.

Speaker 1 (47:24):
But when his true identity is revealed, that was That's
a twist. I never would have thought of that. How
about saw the original saw the twist and that.

Speaker 4 (47:35):
Right?

Speaker 1 (47:35):
How about do you ever see the movie Get out.

Speaker 4 (47:41):
The dude?

Speaker 1 (47:41):
The black dude goes like to meet his girlfriend's parents
and then.

Speaker 4 (47:45):
All that have the biggest part.

Speaker 1 (47:46):
It's a rich party, and then all of a sudden
it turns to like they're hunting them.

Speaker 4 (47:50):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (47:50):
How about one of the greatest movies of all time,
not greatest, but a very good movie, Primal Fear Edward Norton,
The Investigating the Priest. Yeah, that was.

Speaker 4 (48:05):
A great one.

Speaker 1 (48:06):
Shutter Island, Shutter Island, good one. Leedo DiCaprio. That's a
good twist. Gone Girl, Yes, ultimately, yeah, it's a great one.
But how about how about the what are the best
of all time? Kaiser Ah, The Usual Suspects. Yeah, that's
a good one. That is a good one. I thought
The Peck Detective was a good one too. That's a

(48:27):
good one. Yeah, that's one you wouldn't think thinkl is
Einhornhorn is a Man got An The other ones that
come to mind, I mean Kaiser so say was the
second one that comes to mind.

Speaker 4 (48:41):
That's a good Usual Suspects.

Speaker 1 (48:43):
Yeah, that's a good one. Pulp fiction could be seen
as a twist. Yeah, but see the only problem with
pulp fiction is it's it's reversed. It goes in so
many like it forward back, forward back, like in the twist,
it's it's it's a weird one.

Speaker 4 (49:01):
Yeah, I don't know you got any other ones.

Speaker 1 (49:03):
I mean, I know you didn't get a chance to
research it. Yeah, nowf the top of my head. Yeah,
but those are the sixth senses obviously, the first one
that in my mind. Yeah, that's that's the village Ghost Ghost. Yeah,
the village. The Village was a huge one. Yeah, m night.
Shyamalan's got he's known for unbreakable. They're all known for
their twists, all right, man, So what do you say

(49:24):
we got We got a game we're gonna play here.
We're gonna need you to pause it because this game
needs needs a little bit of off air planning. Noone
else was a twist?

Speaker 4 (49:35):
What major League?

Speaker 1 (49:37):
Oh when she uh, when she finally got revealed her
naked body, what was a twist? Was all I want
to do is twister nipples? When I saw that. Yeah, Well,
because they you know, it's like you're figuring they're gonna
win it, all right, and even Jake Tayror win the
whole fucking thing. Well they did is win the division.
That's a twist.

Speaker 4 (49:57):
They lost to the whites.

Speaker 1 (49:57):
They just stopped short. I guess it is a little twist. Yeah,
although it's kind of like the movie basically ends with
them winning.

Speaker 4 (50:05):
The division, so it ended perfectly.

Speaker 1 (50:07):
But it's a twist because you're like, oh, they're gonna
win the world series. Yeah. But here's the thing though,
that twist didn't happen in that movie. It happened in
part two, So it's like the series twist. That was
a good episode that we had the worst sequels of
all time, that was a good one.

Speaker 4 (50:24):
See, that's why I want to get back to.

Speaker 1 (50:26):
Like was like some of the.

Speaker 4 (50:27):
More organic, like the early episode stuff.

Speaker 1 (50:30):
Conversation as opposed to just we have to have a list. Yeah,
but like some of the lists we've I don't hate
the list that we've done because they've been good ones.
It's just it's like those there was more conversation about them. Yeah.
Just you know, here's the thought, we could start bringing
both of us, independent of each other, bring two things
to discuss. It could be sports, it could be politics,

(50:55):
it could be your fucking T shirt.

Speaker 4 (50:56):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (50:57):
Well we did that initially because I and like maybe
the episode four, we watched the game and we start
we were still doing in the pub, and you'd be like, Okay,
here's the top and you did this, here's the topic
of the night, petty, who is the player?

Speaker 4 (51:10):
All right?

Speaker 1 (51:10):
You did something like that. It was a horrible episode.
It was terrible, but but the okay, yeah, the idea
behind it.

Speaker 4 (51:17):
All right.

Speaker 1 (51:17):
So we're gonna play a quick game. But you guys
won't know this. We're gonna take about five to ten
minutes to plan it out, but you're gonna literally be
back in like two seconds after Hooker pauses it fair enough,
all right, So I don't remember exactly how we left off,
but the game is so I saw this post another

(51:42):
podcast did it, but it's uh, you got to get
to one hundred touchdowns, okay, and you got to pick
one team you get this.

Speaker 4 (51:52):
So what we're trying to do is pick.

Speaker 1 (51:54):
The player with that you think has a very high
total of touchdowns in a particul your season. And you're
trying to get to one hundred. So you've got a quarterback,
of running back, two receivers, and a tight end trying
to get to one hundred. Ideally, you're trying to pick
the team's highest total for that player with the highest
total of that season, like we so my buddy and

(52:15):
I did the Steelers when we were in Humble waiting
on the kids game to play. It's physically impossible to
get to one hundred with the Steelers, which you would
think with the great players that they've had in the
recent years Roethlisberger, Antonio Brown, Le'Veon Bell and like you know,
but like in the and how great the seventies teams
were winning for super Bowls, but they weren't a prolific

(52:36):
offense now. So you can't take the Steelers and get
to one hundred total touchdowns naming their single. If you
took their single highest touchdown quarterback, running back, wide receiver,
wide receiver, tight end in any specific season, you'll never
get to a hundred.

Speaker 4 (52:49):
It's impossible.

Speaker 1 (52:50):
So hooker, Kyle I asked, Kyle, I said to Kylin
and I have played this game with a few teams,
and Kyle said, I want Hooker to do the Bills. Okay,
So quarterbacks are tricky, Okay, So do you want to
like so quarterbacks can run and they can throw touchdowns?

Speaker 4 (53:11):
Are we are? Do you want to go.

Speaker 1 (53:13):
Total touchdowns with quarterbacks or you just want to do
like passing touchdowns because traditionally we've just done passing touchdowns.
But traditionally, I mean, this is the first time I've
ever done this. No, but when when the I think
when they when the game is. When this game was
brought up, it was passing touchdowns because it's a quarterback,
running back, wide.

Speaker 4 (53:31):
Receiver, wide receiver, tight end.

Speaker 1 (53:33):
We weren't taking into a consideration running back receiving touchdowns.
It was just rushing touchdowns. Okay, wide receiver receiving touchdowns.
So if you want to go total touchdowns at every position,
I'm cool with that.

Speaker 4 (53:46):
Just what do you want to do here?

Speaker 1 (53:50):
Let's try total and let's see if I can do it.

Speaker 4 (53:53):
Total makes it a lot easier.

Speaker 1 (53:54):
Yeah, okay, so total touchdowns?

Speaker 4 (53:58):
Who you got?

Speaker 1 (53:58):
Quarter Like total is probably the best way to do
because I mean that that is their touchdown, right quarterback,
I mean, quarterbacks gotta be Josh Allen. Okay, absolutely has
to be Josh Allen. All right, so you get there's
no way. So the Bills have had some pretty good
running backs over the years. Yeah, you only get to
pick one. Who's your running back? I'm pretty sure, And
this was last year James Cook had a lot of touchdowns.

(54:20):
I think he had over won a game on average.

Speaker 4 (54:24):
I don't think he played every.

Speaker 1 (54:25):
Game though, No, but seventeen games I think he had
right about there. I think he had like fifteen plus. Okay,
wide receiver, wide receiver. Okay, first one's easy. You gotta
go Andre Reid second wide receiver. In Bill's history there,
they've never been known to have really good wide receivers. Fuck,

(54:47):
don Beebe. Yeah, but I don't even know, like you
have like eight But all it takes is one season. Yeah,
we're not talking like a career. We're talking like I
know season. Peerless Price, who was the one, the dude
I always wanted the Cowboys to draft him he went

(55:08):
to Oh he was he was good. But I can't
think of his name right now. He was a Texas s.

Speaker 4 (55:14):
M U guy.

Speaker 1 (55:15):
You know what this I might get bid on this one,
but I feel like he might have had a decent
number of touchdowns when he was there. James Lofton Lofton Okay,
all right?

Speaker 4 (55:27):
And then tight end.

Speaker 3 (55:30):
Fuck.

Speaker 1 (55:32):
And what we're gonna do is we're gonna he's gonna
name We're gonna he's gonna name the players and off
air we're gonna total him up and let you know
how he did, because we don't want this to take
too long with me googling all this. Yeah, fuck, I got,
you know, like tight end for the Bills. Let's say,
you know, I'm just gonna go Don Kincaid. It's gonna
be him or Knox like recent years, because Josh Allen.

Speaker 4 (55:52):
Is so prolific.

Speaker 1 (55:54):
Your final answer is yeah, kid kid first, all right,
So then you said Petty off Air, I want you
to do the Chargers. This should be easy, all right.
So Chargers quarterback, I like the old school football guy
and me wants to say Dan Fouts, but Philip Rivers

(56:15):
and Drew Brees did some pretty impressive fucking shit. I mean,
those are three tough ones, and here's the four. Being
wrong by four cannot get you to one hundred, right.
Not knowing my Charger statistical history, I'm just going off
of what I think, I know, I think I think,
And with Dan Fouts being as great as he was,

(56:36):
he didn't plan in an era where they passed as much,
but he was the Airic Coriel. But I still think
there was the twenty thirteen season or twelve season Philip
Rivers was pretty epic. I'm gonna go with rivers. Okay,
running backs, running back, I've got i gotta go LT. Yeah.

(56:57):
If you don't say LT, you're a fucking idiot. Yeah,
wide receiver records, wide receiver. This is where you could
get bet this is yeah, Well, can I of skip
the tight end? Oh no, that's not even a dead
that's not even a done deal. You got fucking Winslow
and Gates. So receivers. Oh man, So it is a

(57:20):
bit of a challenge. Chargers is tough. I mean, the
running back was you're an idiot. It still could not
be the right answer, but it is so many it
is the right answer. He said, so many he could
elevate everybody else. That's the thing. The choices are the
ones that are going to make a break. The receivers
are the tough one because LT, there's like twenty six

(57:41):
or something. You had, Well, Emmitt had twenty five. Yeah,
then I think Sean Alexander broke that. LT might have
had twenty eight LT. He was up there. Yeah anyways,
and he might have had some receiving ones too. LT
is right, is like he could elevate everything. Wide receiver, though,
is what I'm stuck on right now. Vincent Jackson was

(58:03):
pretty good. James Lofton was pretty good. I said Lofton already. Uh,
Charlie Joyner was pretty good. Those are the fouts, guys,
Lofton and Joiner. I mean, I I knew where Jackson,
I knew where I'd go. I'm trying to think who
was who were the receivers when when Rivers and and

(58:25):
and Breeze were there, Like Vincent Jackson, I got to go.

Speaker 4 (58:29):
To Vincent Jackson.

Speaker 1 (58:29):
Vincent Jackson, Okay, I think that's probably fucking wrong, though
it's probably not a great call. Why am I drawing?
I know I'm missing somebody I know and you know it. Oh,
Keenan Allen. I was gonna say, how is he missing? Keenan?

Speaker 4 (58:47):
And then I'm so with tight End.

Speaker 1 (58:49):
Yeah, Gates are Lofton, I met, I met Winslow, my
bad Winslow.

Speaker 4 (58:58):
Gates was so fucking great. I gotta go with.

Speaker 1 (59:01):
So I went Rivers, LT, Vincent Jackson, Keenan Allen, and
Antonio Gates. I'm gonna regret the Vincent Jackson pitch. All right,
all right, We're gonna pause and total them up, all right,
all right, man, the results are in hook. This did
not go the way that I thought it was gonna, know,
and this is why this game is so much fun.

(59:22):
I thought yours is gonna be so easy, and it
should have been. And the names like I anyway, we'll
get to mind. But you you went with the Bills. Well,
I was told I had to go with the Bills.

Speaker 4 (59:33):
Because Kyle picked it for you.

Speaker 1 (59:34):
Yeah, and what's the team you want to go with
next week? You said you had a team you wanted
to do? Is that the one you gave you know,
we're gonna talk about it until right at the end.
Because anybody could do research. Well you could do research, right, well,
we could all do research, but I'm not going to.
But if I named a specific team, you would target them.
You're gonna do it though, it doesn't matter if I
target them or not. Right, But if my team you

(59:56):
wanted to do, You said you wanted to do a team,
but I started, ye him, that's what I gave you. Yeah, yeah, okay,
so the Bills he picked Josh Allen.

Speaker 4 (01:00:06):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:00:06):
So Josh Allen in twenty twenty three for thirty seven
and ran for nine. His highest total of season is
forty six. You're off to a pretty goddamn good start. Correct,
correct pick, correct pick, and it was the correct pick.
He then took James Cook last year, who had eighteen
total touchdown, sixteen rushing, two receiving. But the correct answer

(01:00:28):
would have been Thurman Thomas at nineteen. But he's still
sitting at forty six and eighteen and I only missed
by one on that, so that was still okay.

Speaker 4 (01:00:36):
Yeah, you're sitting at sixty four. Yeah, okay.

Speaker 1 (01:00:39):
You picked Andre Reid, who was a legend, maybe hall
of famer, but I don't know, but good. He was
one of the top receivers at this time. Eight right,
they've never been known for receivers. No, he had ten sorry,
redhead ten ten? Yeah, Redhead ten, okay ten. And then
you picked James Lofton. He had a he had eight, okay,

(01:01:02):
so Reid was not far off. So you're one away
four seventy four with Red and now you're at eighty
two with Lofton. You picked Dalton Kincaid, terrible pick. You
are now at eighty four. He had two, all right,
So that was not the correct answer. Lofton was not
the correct answer, and neither was Reid.

Speaker 4 (01:01:23):
You ended up with eighty four.

Speaker 1 (01:01:25):
Yeah. But but what we did find is that they
you cannot get to one hundred. The bills cannot give
you a hundred.

Speaker 4 (01:01:34):
They can't. The correct answer.

Speaker 1 (01:01:36):
The best you can get to is ninety six, and
that would be with Josh Allen Thurman, Thomas Dawson, Knox
had nine as the tight end. As a tight end,
Diggs Stefan Diggs had eleven, and some dude named Ed
Dubanian in nineteen sixty so he had ten, He had eleven,
Diggs had eleven, and Dbanion. Diggs had eleven and d

(01:01:57):
Banion had eleven. It was there was some other guys
that had eleven. I don't know, yeah, like Eric Molds
was the guy I was trying to think of her. Yeah. Yeah, anyway,
ninety six is the most you can get to. Yeah,
so the bills don't even qualify.

Speaker 4 (01:02:12):
No, all right, how about how did I do on
the chargers hook?

Speaker 1 (01:02:15):
Well, you looked it up, all right, So I took
I took Justin I sorry, I took Philip Rivers.

Speaker 4 (01:02:22):
He had thirty four and eight.

Speaker 1 (01:02:25):
That's crazy. Not the correct answer, though. The correct answer
was Justin Herbert, who had thirty eight. Yes, all right,
So that's a tough one. The quarterback is a tough
one because you got you got Dan Fouts, which it
was a different era, but at the same time that
was Eric coul dude, like that was they did that shite,
and then you have Drew Brees for a couple of years,

(01:02:48):
Philip Rivers and now Herbert. Yeah, that's a tough one,
of course it is.

Speaker 4 (01:02:52):
So I took I missed four.

Speaker 1 (01:02:54):
Yeah, okay, LT was the obvious choice. If you don't
take LT. Theye's thirty one six, So I'm sitting at
sixty five. You're like, oh, this is I held it.
I took Vincent Jackson terrible, who had nine.

Speaker 4 (01:03:09):
All right.

Speaker 1 (01:03:12):
I was only off by three on the high pick though,
I took Keenan Allen, surprisingly his best year was eight,
and then I took Antonio Gates, which was the correct pick.
At thirteen. I got to a total of ninety five.
They can get to one hundred, though, they can one

(01:03:35):
oh two. If you take Herbert's thirty eight, LT's thirty one,
you're sitting at sixty nine. Lance Allworth also a cowboy,
and he popped into my head.

Speaker 4 (01:03:46):
I thought, no, he wasn't he was. It was the
sixties and seventies.

Speaker 1 (01:03:50):
I was before it. Yeah, he was a cowboy when
they made their seventies playoff runds and stuff.

Speaker 4 (01:03:55):
Twelve, so Jackson had nine all Worth at twelve.

Speaker 1 (01:03:59):
I missed up by three. And then Miller what was
his first name?

Speaker 4 (01:04:04):
God he was?

Speaker 1 (01:04:05):
He ended up being a cowboy briefly, Uh uh Miller? Yeah,
fuck doesn't matter, No, I need Anthony Miller ended up
being a cowboy. He had ten and I had Keenan

(01:04:25):
Allen eight, So I missed five. Yeah with receivers, yeah,
and I and then Antonio Gates, I had the right choice.

Speaker 4 (01:04:34):
He was at thirteen.

Speaker 1 (01:04:36):
So the chargers, you can get to sixty nine.

Speaker 4 (01:04:41):
I'm gonna make sure my mother was sixty nine.

Speaker 1 (01:04:42):
Seventy nine, eighty one, ninety one, one, one oh four.
And I got to think, No, I got to three
five less, nine less, so I got to ninety five.
So it can't be done. Turners can be done. Were

(01:05:04):
you were tasked with an impossible and impossible I didn't
make the right choices in a couple of areas, and
so did I, but it was impossible anyway. That's a
fun one to just sit and have some beers. Uh,
and and you know, hang with the homies and all right,
figure it out.

Speaker 4 (01:05:21):
That's pretty good.

Speaker 1 (01:05:22):
Let's do the No, we're not gonna do it, but saying, hey,
al right the Bengals, all right, who do you think?
And then you know, like we can just sit there
and I could be on my phone. You can start
naming players. Yeah, it's fun to get it's fun to do.
Fun all right, man, I like it.

Speaker 4 (01:05:32):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:05:32):
Anyway, So new segment making its debut on episode Well
that was a new segment too. Well, no, that was
just a game game segment. Yeah, it could be a segment,
same thing because there's thirty two teams. We just did
two of them.

Speaker 4 (01:05:48):
We just did two, yes, we did all right.

Speaker 1 (01:05:50):
So uh, I'm gonna play this segment music. And if
you can't guess the new segment's name, I will tell
you and what it's about.

Speaker 4 (01:06:00):
Here we go.

Speaker 3 (01:06:03):
I just want to put the step in.

Speaker 1 (01:06:06):
Me victual games Camp, loving all.

Speaker 6 (01:06:20):
Camp.

Speaker 1 (01:06:25):
Don't make me bad. I don't fucking know, baby. All right.
This one is a new segment called just the Tips,

(01:06:49):
and it's a life tip that is always stuck with you.

Speaker 4 (01:06:55):
Mottos.

Speaker 1 (01:06:56):
You can live by things that have been said to
you that just make good sound advice. And I'll lead
off because you have not had time to prepare for this.
Now you thought sexual because just the tips, but yeah,
it's just the tips.

Speaker 4 (01:07:10):
That's the name of the segment.

Speaker 1 (01:07:12):
Gotch Remember we did the one like things we want
to like when raising our boys, things stuff like that. Yes,
like just sound advice always open door you've received throughout
your life, all right, And I know that the segment
music in the title only you know kind of matches.
But anyway, I thought it was funny, So mine, I'm

(01:07:35):
going to start since I had a chance to, uh
look this up or think about it. Actually more like
think about I need to look it up, but think
about it. I think my number one and it's more
like as you I think when you hit your teenage
years and in early adulthood, it didn't even applies to now.
But like, my number one thing is don't take a

(01:07:56):
criticism from people you would never go.

Speaker 4 (01:07:59):
To for vice.

Speaker 1 (01:08:02):
Yeah, that's a good one. That's mine. That's mine for tonight.
I've got some other gems I'm saving up, but yeah,
do you have one off the top of your nugget?
Because you already named one like never shaking man's hands
sitting down. Yeah, I thought it was. I thought I
saw it somewhere and I'm like and then I'm like,
so I got the idea for the topic. But then

(01:08:24):
I'm like, then I'm then I started researching like like
some segment music, and that thing popped up.

Speaker 4 (01:08:28):
I'm like, that's fucking gold.

Speaker 1 (01:08:31):
That's good.

Speaker 4 (01:08:36):
You got anything funny?

Speaker 1 (01:08:37):
You got anything like just like like you're some of
your dad said, or a coach you're on time, you're late,
ship like that My coach, baseball coach, you say it
all the time, if you're on time, you're late.

Speaker 4 (01:08:50):
That one really stuck with me.

Speaker 1 (01:08:52):
Yeah, if you want to pose it and think, man, no, no,
I got try to remember the exact way to say it,
all right, and I set you up for some dead
air there, So I h okay, No, I think I
I think I I think I have the right way
to say this. The worst mistake you can make in
life is the one you don't learn from.

Speaker 6 (01:09:15):
I like that.

Speaker 1 (01:09:17):
That's actually pretty profound. Yeah, I mean we all funk up.
We know you do just learn. I mean we do.
I mean we do. Everybody does.

Speaker 4 (01:09:25):
I know we do.

Speaker 1 (01:09:25):
You just got to learn from it, you know, and
if you don't learn from it, that's the worst mistake
you made. Yeah. Yeah, so that's it. That was a
quick one as a quick hitter for me. It's mostly
about the song. I just thought that was just the Tip.
But before we let's play a game. It's called just
the Tip before we called Joel's Glorioles. Joel's Glorioles. Hey,

(01:09:49):
we're playing a game over here called just the Tip? Joel,
can you make us a glorihole? Yeah, where just the
Tip comes through? But he's like, well, it's got to
be adjustable because there's bigger dicks. All right, So thought
of the night before we head out? Don't you think
it's kind of neat how hotel rooms have a strict
no smoking policy, but you could pretty much just on

(01:10:09):
basically anything you want. Yeah, god, hey, don't they don't
smoke it there? Definitely don't blacklight that fucking room. Yeah,
you know, it's like, well, you don't know that's a song, right?

Speaker 4 (01:10:25):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:10:25):
Yeah the eighties? Who was that? But you don't know?
Won't hurt you by ship? I don't know about you, hook,
but I'm pretty much out of bourbon?

Speaker 4 (01:10:33):
What about you? Man?

Speaker 1 (01:10:35):
I mean I put away some twisted teas to damn
a wide variety. Hey, that was another old school way
of me like us leading to the outro. Hey, hook,
I'm out of beer. We say we go down and
get some beer out of the pull on that keg. Yeah,
I know we don't have anymore, damn it, I know.
But my point was, remember always listened to some old episode.

(01:10:55):
I used to say, Hey, hook, I'm out of beer.

Speaker 4 (01:10:57):
How about you? That's how we used to exit.

Speaker 1 (01:10:58):
Let's go pour off the keg and listen to what
we just did. Right, And now we don't damn, we
don't have to go.

Speaker 4 (01:11:05):
Downstairs and pull on the keg.

Speaker 1 (01:11:07):
That's right, because we were upping. It's all coming full circle.
We're circling back, man. That's another one we need to
do all the time. Circle back. We're gonna circle back.
I've got back and listened to a few years. We're
gonna circle back to brewing beer. We have at some point, Well,
we're gonna do meat at least, because that's not his time.
Because yeah, met Seltzer's. I want to get into Seltzer's too.

Speaker 4 (01:11:30):
I need to we need to figure out how to
do that.

Speaker 1 (01:11:32):
Yeah, I feel like it's almost like you just I
tried to remember I took that flabor to fermented water.
What I did was I poured a uh one point
seventy five of vodka under the bottom of a keg.
I filled it with water and then I put some
of the AAD junks in it, and then I tried

(01:11:53):
to carbonate it didn't. It didn't work, So there's obviously
it's got to be there's a way. Yeah, my weight
did not work.

Speaker 4 (01:12:00):
Was a fail. At least I tried it.

Speaker 1 (01:12:02):
Yeah, and we still drink it.

Speaker 4 (01:12:04):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:12:05):
I am definitely curious to see how those Mountain Dew
and Doctor Peppers. Yeah, I mean they're gonna have alcohol
in him, whether they I mean, they're not gonna taste,
not gonna taste like Achilles Peel did. That was so bad.

Speaker 4 (01:12:19):
I wanted to vomit. God.

Speaker 1 (01:12:21):
Episode one and I tried to like it so bad,
I was like, I'm gonna drink it.

Speaker 4 (01:12:25):
That was episode two.

Speaker 1 (01:12:26):
Oh God.

Speaker 4 (01:12:27):
Yeah, we're gonna We're gonna go back.

Speaker 1 (01:12:30):
To the roots a little bit with Petty Hooker podcast. Yeah,
we definitely need to brew.

Speaker 4 (01:12:34):
We need to figure out and we need to go
back to our roots.

Speaker 1 (01:12:37):
Hb. He's become a thing again again. Yes, And I
have something that I've got in the works for Petty
hook all right, something in the works. It's it's a
fantastic thought. I just got to see if I can
pull it off, all right. So we're gonna have like
strippers in the studio while we're doing the show, kind

(01:12:57):
of like Howard Stern. It's not stripper out of face
maybe betterface competition. It's just twenty prostitutes. Hey, Joel, I
need over here, over here, Joel. No, if I can
pull it off, you will probably fucking lose your mind.
All right, It'll be fantastic, all right. Anyways, stay tuned

(01:13:18):
all right for Rafael, Paul Merrow for Tight Trey, Lance Babe,
Ruth matt Olsen and Larry Walker.

Speaker 4 (01:13:26):
George bretton Mike Schmidt Petty Hooker Podcast.

Speaker 1 (01:13:31):
Wow, fucking Bills, You let me down there, fucking Bills.
That's like everything in.

Speaker 4 (01:13:36):
A row baby.

Speaker 1 (01:13:37):
Every Bills fan has said that. Yeah, I thought OJ
would be on that list. I just don't think you
have the touchdowns. Yeahs and we out, we out